Conveniently Placed Cardboard Cutouts At Hogwarts

Astronomy Tower…Crabbe and Goyle are waiting for some girls they were supposed to meet…(must be some retarded girls)

Crabbe: Where are the girls?

Goyle: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… *drooling*

Crabbe: *looks out window* Ooh! A pretty birdy! Looooooooooooook!

Goyle: *excited, starts drooling more rapidly* Duurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

(both Zombie-walk to the window)

Crabbe: Wow…*leans out window*

Goyle: Dollllllllllllllllllllllllll. *leans out window, too*

(someone comes out and pushes them out the window)

Crabbe: WHAT THE!? *high-pitched girly scream*

Goyle: Ooooooooooh! *points to conveniently placed trampoline below*

(they fall on the trampoline and fly back up to near the bird)

Crabbe: *grabs bird* Hey! It’s a cardboard cutout!

(fall back down to trampoline, which then catapults them towards the lake)

Goyle: Good lake! (A/N: Only words he can say!!)

*They are never seen again*

* * * * *

The Pop Princesses are led into the front hall by Harry and Ron

Britney: Hey, you guys, this doesn’t even look like the Louvre… *still oblivious to the fact that, in the last chapter, Christina stated that they are at Hogwarts*

*Hermione walks into the hall, frazzled and holding a huge stack of books*

Hermione: *icy tone* Well, that’s probably because you’re at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, not in Paris.

Britney: Like, wow! Like, in the movie? How cool is that!

Ron: What’s a movie?

Hermione: Yeah, what movie?

Harry: *aside to Britney* They weren’t in the movie, they aren’t good-looking enough…but I sure am.

Britney *giggle* Well, you sure are telling the truth…Girls, let’s stay here! We can learn magic and use it and stuff!

Mandy: Yeah, y’all *damn Texas accent!* I’d like to look a lil’ older…my mother is always like, ‘but you’re sill mah baby-doll!’ and then I want to strangle her…this one time *big long rant for five minutes* but she didn’t die.

Jessica: I can use it for record sales!

Christina: *for once excited and peppy* Yeah! I want to have a permanent afro!

Britney: I’d like to get some real boobs, these fake ones are too…well, never mind.

*They stay*

* * * * *

Mandy bumps into some random guy.

Random guy: Hey! *turns around…it’s Draco Malfoy*

Mandy: Ummm… *looks into sexy gray eyes* Wow… Well, y’all, I sure am glad Brit convinced us to stay here… I mean… *ahem* Sorry.

Draco: Totally NOT okay.

Mandy: *lip starts to tremble* I…said…I…was…sorry….*bursts into tears and buries face in hands*

Draco: Crap… *sighs loudly, and walks away*

Mandy: *looks up from fake tears* No! It didn’t work! *shouts after Draco* Hey! Wait!

Draco: *exasperated* Didn’t I just make you cry!?

Mandy: Nooooo…

Draco: *looks confused* Huh?

Mandy: Well, see, I wanted to meet some hot guy…and I did *big long rant ‘bout how Draco’s so hot (well, he is) and he’s “The One” and all that jazz* and I just figured out that I must marry you!

*Draco crosses forefingers and backs away slowly*

Mandy: Why are you walkin’ away like that? *takes a step forward*

*Draco runs away screaming*

Mandy: I guess that’s two tries down the drain…