Every Guy has a Soft Spot for a Cat

"Draco," Harry whispered, fastening a rhinestone collar to his neck and praying that he didn't look too ridiculous in the leather pants Draco had ordered him into. "Are you sure this isn't too risky?"

Draco merely smiled and hugged his white fur coat.

"Is this really necessary?"

The blonde slid sunglasses up his nose. "Of course! Future me is on that boat, and this is the only way we can get to him!"

Harry's hands drifted to his rear, tracing the waistband that clung just above the crack. "I realize that, but..." He sighed in final exasperation. "But why aren't you wearing pants?"

"I'm Eccentric Millionaire Draco," the Slytherin replied. "Besides...this coat is amazing!"

The coat seemed quite capable of engulfing the blonde completely to Harry--the polar beat that it once was making its final rebellion against the fur industry and poncy blonde queers that invested in said industry.

"And why am I on a leash?" Harry tugged on the silver chain that hung from his collar to Draco's wrist.

"Because Sex Pet Harry is the perfect compliment to my Eccentric Millionaire Draco."

Harry cautiously checked his leather clad booty once again. "You know, half the time, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Me neither," Draco chimed. "I'm sure it makes sense to someone."

"Nice stilettos by the way."

"Oh thank you." Draco looked toward the SS Guns'n'Handcuffs with determination. "Let's do this."

"Names," inquired a rather dumpy gentleman as Harry and Draco ascended.

"Eccentric Millionaire Draco," Draco replied, chipper as always.

The doorman looked at Harry.

Harry cringed. "Don't make me say it..."

Draco gave his buttock a fierce pinch.

"Ow! Fine, fine...I'm...oh hell...Sex Pet Harry."

The doorman nodded. "Ah yes, a nice pairing if I do say so. Much better than mine, I must say."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," Draco said, holding out a hand.

"Fat Reject Harry," the doorman replied.

Harry paled. "Dear Merlin! Are you me? How...how..."

"Grotesque?" suggested Draco.

"Who would ever be paired with you?"

Fat Reject Harry sighed. "I just secretly admire Narcissist Draco." He gestured to a Draco seated on the edge of the ship who was rather engrossed in the mirror. Fat Reject Harry watched dejectedly as the blonde kissed his reflection a little too passionately. "He hardly needs me, I suppose. As long as he possesses a somewhat reflective surface, he's satisfied."

Harry simply stared in horror and trailed behind Draco.

"Hm..." Draco murmured. "I think we should try the bar."

"Nice trousers," purred a strange Draco in Harry's ear.

Harry jumped away, blushing terribly as the stranger took a firm grasp of his precariously clothed hinny. "Aieee!"

Draco intervened haughtily. "Would you be so kind as to refrain from manhandling my bedroom carousel? Not everyone gets a ride, you know!"

"Your bedroom what?"

Draco ruffled Harry's hair with affection. "Don't worry, love. Daddy will get you some brand new assless chaps as soon as we get home."

Harry's blush increased to morbid pink. "But I--" He nearly choked as Draco yanked on the chain imperiously.

"Come, my pet."

The Gryffindor scowled and retaliated by yanking back. "This leash thing is ridiculous! Take it off of me!" he ordered.

Draco smirked in a way that implied that he would do no such thing. "But you look so sexy when you're submissive," he said.

Harry didn't feel safe when Draco got this close to him, and leather isn't the best at concealing...things. "Draco, what are you--Draco, stop it."

Draco slid a hand behind Harry's head and eased his lips up to the taller boy's mouth. "I like seeing you squirm, Harry," he whispered. "Especially when you try to pull up your pants when you think I can't see you."

Harry quickly countered with an equally enthusiastic kiss, this time slipping his way between the other boy's lips, tasting for the first time what was behind that smug grin.

Draco pulled back and smiled. "I prefer them hanging low." He shoved Harry into a wall and pressed his thin, welcoming body against the overwhelmed Gryffindor. "Dangerously low."

Harry was finding it hard to even ponder coherent speech at this time. He reached out and pulled the blonde against him roughly, reversing their positions and pinning Draco with ferocity.

Draco paled with surprise and excitement.

"I'll leave them down then," Harry moaned forcefully.

Draco arched his back with a cry of helplessness as their mouths met once again. "Please!"

"Draco, I--"

"Excuse me." A pair of Harry's and Draco's squeezed by the two boys, giving them little attention.

The short moment was enough for Harry to regain his senses. "Oh my...what are we doing? We have to find...you."

Draco seemed more reluctant to move on. "Um, yes...I suppose we should..." His eyes trailed down Harry's body. "...should..."

"Go?" Harry finished.

"Yes, go."

They quickly started down into the hull, embarrassed.

"It's probably just the atmosphere," Harry assured himself more than Draco.

Draco nodded. "Yes, we would certainly never do that on a normal day...I would hope."

"Oh no, never."

Draco frowned. "Oh drat, you got me all hot and bothered, and my amazing coat is sweaty."

"Makes you rethink the wardrobe, doesn't it?"

The blonde looked astounded. "Never! I'd rather die! Next you'll tell me that animal treatment is more important than suede and ivory."

Harry sighed. "Oh Draco...its times like these when wonder why PETA hasn't devoted an entire website to you yet."