Morning Mayhem

Ron: OY! Harry! Wakey Wakey, rise and shiiine!

Harry: ughmphh

Ron: And a very good afternoon to you, too.

Harry: whassatimeisit?

Ron: About time you should be getting up, that's what.

Harry: Who are you, Hermione?

Ron: Me? Hermione? How dare you insult me like that!

Hermione: (walks in) I heard that!

Ron: (bowing) Oh, forgive me, your highness! Let me bow down to your greatness and hope you will forgive me for I have committed a terrible crime!

Hermione: Shut up, Ron.

Ron: I'll take that as a 'yes' then.

Hermione: Oh no, you're not getting off that easy, and besides, I still need to talk to you about that little 'accident' you had yesterday. You know, the one where I end up with gum in my hair, and have to get my hair cut, and then I think I must have been hit with a stupid charm or something, because I let you do it, and now, well, if you didn't notice I AM NOW BALD!

Ron: Ooh, bit tetchy aren't we today? Is it your time of the month or something?

Hermione: (blushing) No, it is not! Harry, will you tell him what an idiot he is being?

Ron: Yeah, Harry, tell her how stupid she is!

Harry: SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU! Hermione, I love your new hairdo, so stop moaning, and Ron, well...you're just Ron. Now if you don't mind, I would like to go back to sleep, so go on and have your little conversation somewhere else.

Ron: See? He likes your hair that way, he agrees with me.

Hermione: Does not

Ron: Does too

Hernione: Not

Ron: Too

Hermione: NOT!

Ron: TOO!

Hermione: NOT!

* pop *

Sirius: TOO!

Ron: See? Look, even Sirius agrees with me!

Ron & Hermione: Huh?

Harry starts banging his head repeatedly against the wall by his bed.

Sirius: Oops, sorry, wrong fic.

* pop *

Silence.

Harry: Ok, I would now like to take advantage of the silence and ask you two to please leave me alone for a while or I swear I will have to force you out with my newly found magical powers that I have yet to tell anyone about.

Ron: Uhh, yeah...Anyway, Hermione, that wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know that it was the wrong spell? I mean, they both sound the same. They shouldn't make spells that sound so similar!

Hermione: Yeah, but you shouldn't have gotten that gum all over my hair in the first place!

Ron: Well I did tell you not to come down. But did you listen? Nooo.

* pop *

Sirius: Yeah! You go ...er...you! She had no right in being there!

Ron: What are you doing here?

Sirius: Err, well, I got bored where I was, and I thought this was rather fun, so I came here instead. You don't mind, do you?

Harry & Hermione: Yes!

Ron: Well...you are on my side, so...why not?

Harry: Because I'm trying to get some time to myself here.

Hermione: Yeah, that, and you're wrong!

* pop *

James: Yeah, so there!

Sirius: James?

James: At your service!

Sirius: What are you doing here?

James: I got bored.

Sirius: Oh.

James: So, what's going on then?

Ron: Well, Hermione, or should I say, her royal highness here -

Hermione: Oh, don't listen to him he's just an idiot. See, what happened was-

Sirius: He accidentally got gum in her hair after he specifically told her not to go anywhere near him, and when he was being nice and tried to fix it, he made her bald by accident.

James: Easy mistake, those two spells do sound alike.

Ron: Thankyou!

Hermione: So you're agreeing with him?

James: Well, yeah. I mean, I know what you're talking about; I got my own hair problems-

Sirius: I'll say.

James: Watch it, Padfoot. Anyway, if my hair was bad enough, I'd much rather be bald.

Sirius: So, you're telling me I should make you bald, too?

James: Err, thanks for the offer, but no thanks. If you try, I'd probably end up with a tree growing out of my head.

Sirius: Yeah, then you'd be really mad.

Hermione: Exactly! That's just how I feel.

Sirius: What? Like you have a tree growing out of your head?

James: No, idiot. I think I know what she means. She feels how I would feel if you gave me the tree treatment, only it wasn't you, it was him, and it wasn't a tree, just baldness.

Hermione: Yes...something like that.

Ron: So you're agreeing with her now?

James: Yes, I am. Sorry, mate.

Sirius: Well, James, I am not officially no longer your friend.

James: (nodding) Agreed.

Ron: So, now what? It's two against two.

Sirius: Someone needs to cast the final vote.

Everyone except Harry: Ohh, Haaarry!

Harry: No! I tried to tell you earlier to leave me alone, and maybe if you did, I might have been awake by now and been able to do your vote thingie.

James: But you are awake.

Harry: You know what I mean.

Sirius: So...that's a 'no' then?

Harry glares at Sirius.

Ron: Well, who then?

* pop*

Voldemort: I will cast the final vote!

Everyone except Voldemort: Huh?

Voldemort: You heard ...and I choose....

Sirius Dum dum duuuum!!

Voldemort: Nice touch.

Sirius: Thanks

Voldemort: Anyway, I think the winner is.... Harry Potter!

Everyone except Voldemort: WHAT?

James: He's not even one of the choices.

Ron: Yeah, he's the only one not in it.

Voldemort: Ahhh that is where you are wrong. Harry was against all of you, he was trying to ask for a little shut- eye, and all you lot did is ignore the poor guy. (sniff)

Hermione: But...but, you hate Harry.

Voldemort: No, I used to hate Harry. I have had a sudden change of heart for no reason whatsoever, and now wish for Harry to be my friend.

Ron: Ha! That's the second time you were wrong today

Hermione: Is not!

Ron: Is too!

Hermione: Is not!

Ron: Is too!

Sirius: Is not!

Ron: Hey ...I thought you were on my side!

Sirius: Oh yeah...Is too!

Harry: ARRGGHHH!

Voldemort: ENOUGH! You're torturing the guy. I must end this immediately! Avada Kedavra!

Everyone falls dead to the floor

Harry: Thanks; I needed that. Maybe I can get some sleep now.

Voldemort: No probs

* pop*

Harry was finally left alone to sleep in peace.