Le Défi

Chapter Three

The Ultimate Sock Escapade

The first rule of pranking is not to get caught. The second rule, of course, is that when you are caught, not to pick a hiding place with only one exit - Sirius Black (Promises Unbroken)

"Hi," Pat said shyly, sitting down next to Remus.

"Pat."

"Hey."

"Hullo."

"How're you?"

"So," James continued, "how was Care of Magical Creatures today?" He had skipped, in order to go off and snog the Hufflepuff girl from their Transfiguration class, Anna.

"It was really great, shame you weren't feeling well," Pat said naively.

James hid a grin.

"We rode hippogriffs," she finished.

"Did Sirius?" Remus interjected; he didn't take Care of Magical Creatures, as animals didn't like him much.

"Did Sirius what? Ride a hippogriff? Oh yeah, he was one of the best." Pat smiled.

"Did you hear that?" James said. "Sirius rode a hippogriff."

"Sirius rode a hippogriff?" Peter repeated.

"Sirius rode a hippogriff," Remus said, explaining the joke to Peter with a simple accentuation.

"Is there an echo in here?" James asked, seeing as everyone repeated him.

"Is there an echo in here?"

"Is there an echo in here?"

"Was it a good ride?" Remus asked, turning to Sirius.

"Shut up," he replied good-naturedly.

"May I enquire as to the gender of the hippogriff in question?" James grinned.

"Your days are numbered, Potter."

"Do you enjoy riding?" Peter nodded slowly as he spoke, his eyes narrowed suggestively.

"Dead. All of you. Dead."

"A little touchy about our preferences are we?"

"I'll preference you if you say one more word."

"Oh no, he'll preference me!" Remus threw his hands in front of his face comically.

"Sorry to tell ya, Sirius, but I don't play for that Quidditch team." James casually sipped his pumpkin juice.

"Well neither do I! Screw days Potter, your hours are numbered."

"You shouldn't tease him James, maybe the hippogriff will be defensive of their, er, emotional connection." Remus winked.

Pat, having no idea what was going on, gave a small wave and a wry smile and went to talk to someone else.

"Oh, and we didn't get to ask her the hippogriff's name." Peter pouted.

"I'll bet even Padfoot doesn't know. Ride first, get names later - that's his motto!" James raised his glass of pumpkin juice towards Sirius, as if toasting him.

"Terrific motto."

"You guys are all going to die."

"We'll die unhappy, having never had the experience of riding a Hippogriff," Remus chuckled.

"Although personally, if given the chance, I think I'd pass."

Sirius shook his head, giving up on his friends.

"Seriously, did I miss anything important?" James asked, as Care of Magical was the only subject he was reluctant to skip.

"Nope. But just to be safe, you might want to go to the hospital wing for a headache potion or something. Just for a backup excuse."

"Good idea, I'll go after lunch."

*

"Men, we are on a mission." Sirius paced back and forth in front of a borrowed black board, covered in arrows and lines and circles, most of them just for decoration, much like a Quidditch game plan. "We are about to penetrate the territory of the enemy: the Slytherin common room. Prongs, if you will."

James stood up and began to address the board. "This is our plan of attack." He pointed. "Wormtail, you and Padfoot bring the potion down to the kitchens and slip it into everything on the Slytherin table. Meanwhile, Moony and I will scrounge up expanded bags and practice coordination under the cloak."

"I think," Remus interrupted, "that if we can follow Snivellus or Evans for half and hour, we'll be good for anything."

"As I was saying, before being interrupted by someone who does not have the floor: we will practice. Once we've rendezvoused we will begin stage three - the Escapade itself. Padfoot and Wormtail will cover up our absences by remaining in the dormitory and making several loud explosions. At the same time as creating these explosions, they will come up with creative ways to return the socks, as we don't want our dormitory stunk up with Slytherin feet smells. Everyone clear?"

"Did we get the password?" Peter looked anxious.

"Galleon," Remus answered. "Followed some third-years this morning. Bloody stupid kids they are, loud enough for the whole corridor to hear, I didn't even need to wear the cloak."

"They're Slytherins," Sirius explained, "what did you expect?"

"Maybe something a little more cunning."

"Like secret handshakes with a statue."

"Or a clapping rhythm, specific to the sixteenth note."

"Or a song, followed by a password, followed by a spell, followed by a declaration of worship of all evil."

"Ugh, Snivellus singing? Enough to make you want to go deaf." Remus clapped his hands over his ears.

"Which would explain why none of them will hear us creep through their common room!"

"Wait, I though that's cause they'll be asleep?"

"Technically they'll be asleep, but theoretically..."

Sirius glanced at his watch. "Shit! We're already six minutes behind schedule!"

Very suddenly, there was a panic around the dormitory, as Sirius hastily bottled the potion, James dug through his trunk for his Invisibility Cloak, Peter ran off to find his lucky rabbit's foot (which he insisted on bringing on all pranks) and Remus opened the map. Unfortunately, they weren't very coordinated or well timed, resulting in a small catastrophe. Potion was spilled on the floor when Peter ran into Sirius. The contents of James' trunk were dumped onto the floor when he couldn't see his Cloak at the first glance. Remus, the rational one, had the sense to stay in the corner, otherwise their precious map could easily have been ripped down the middle.

Finally, after forty-five seconds of complete mayhem, they were standing in a circle in the middle of the room. Each of them stuck an arm into the middle of the circle, as was ritual before a planned attack.

"Talent," Remus said.

"Impact," Peter replied.

"Imagination." Sirius grinned.

"Speed." James glanced around. "Let's go."

They tore down the stairs, James throwing the Cloak over himself and Remus, and Sirius and Peter casually strolling to the portrait hole.

"Good luck," James whispered as they passed Peter, holding the portrait open.

He nodded.

"We should check out the entrance," Remus muttered, slouched over. "Just to make sure it works."

James nodded, and they turned down a corridor in the direction of the Slytherin common room.

*

"Wow, you've really outdone yourselves this time," Peter crooned. "We wanted to came down and complement the chefs!"

"Thank you sirs," the house-elf chirruped. "Can we get Sirs anything else?"

"Well, I'm feeling rather partial to blueberry scones, but I know how busy you are..."

While Peter sucked up to the house-elves, Sirius crept around to what was the equivalent to the Slytherin table in the kitchens. The food was set out already, but hadn't been sent up, as it was only five o'clock.

He uncorked one of the vials of Deep Sleep Potion, and tipped it, just enough for a small stream to fall into a pitcher of pumpkin juice. An evil smile formed on his face.

"Sir! Mr. Black Sir! What is Sir doing?"

"Oh!" Sirius jumped at the sight of a house-elf running towards him. "I was just... testing. Yeah, that's it... I was testing to make sure that all four tables have the same quality that we Gryffindors do. It wouldn't be fair if we were the only ones who receive your delectable delicacies."

The house-elf grinned, looking downwards and drawing a pattern on the floor with her foot. "Thank you Sir. We try our best Sir."

"Not at all!" he said brightly, having fooled her.

All women are so easy, doesn't matter the species. Just smile at 'em and you're good to go.

"Now if you'll excuse me," he said, "I'd like to test the rest of the table."

"Go right ahead Sir. I hope Sir finds all the food satisfactory." She curtsied and rushed off to do whatever it was that house-elves do.

Grinning at his own manipulative skills, Sirius proceeded around the table, pouring some of the potion into each dish. Finally, the last drop of the last vial fell onto a platter of ribs, and Sirius spun around top collect Peter.

"Come on Wormtail," he said briskly, "we've got to go and enjoy it all from the Great Hall!"

"Awww..." Peter whined, looking down at the large pile of sweets in front of him. "Do we have to go?"

"Wormtail..."

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Peter stood up slowly. Then, turning to the house-elves he said, "Thanks again for the snack!"

"Come on," Sirius said through gritted teeth, practically dragging Peter away from the food.

*

Sirius and Peter raced back up to the Gryffindor common room, not caring who watched them in confusion.

James and Remus were waiting when they arrived.

"Late," James said with a grin, much in the same way they had accused him of being late a few days previous.

"Sorry," Sirius explained, "but someone, not naming names or anything, was stuffing his face."

"You couldn't have waited for dinner?" Remus asked, giving Sirius an exasperated look.

"Wait! It wasn't me!"

"Well, as we're not naming names, Prongs and I are free to assume it was and accuse whoever we want," Remus said jovially.

"Padfoot, Padfoot, Padfoot," James reprimanded, shaking his head.

"You'll get fat, eating like that."

"You're wasting our precious pranking time!"

"It was Wormtail!"

Both James and Remus stepped back, as though shocked.

"Now, now, Padfoot, let's not point fingers."

"Yes, you shouldn't demean your friends like that."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius turned toward the two bags on James' bed. "Expanded?"

"Yup."

"Right," James said, taking control of the lax situation. "Are we good to go to dinner?"

"Definitely," Peter said, "I'm starving, aren't you all?"

James smiled, but said nothing. He didn't think he could trust himself not to laugh.

*

It took about half of James' self-control to not look at the Slytherin table during dinner. One of the other quarters was occupied with not looking at Lily Evans, and the rest was focussed on not devouring all of the food in front of him.

He had, upon entering the Great Hall and smelling the wide array of food, discovered that he was famished, and was eating with nearly as much gusto as Peter.

"Want to slow down a bit Prongs?" Remus asked after ten minutes, and three helpings on James' part.

"Not at all," he said through a mouthful of pot roast.

"What a way to catch they ladies' attention," Sirius said with a grin, rolling his eyes at his best friend.

James winked. "Of course! But then, I'd catch their attention if I huddled under the table and sang nursery rhymes."

"But that might be catching their attention in a different way," Peter said thoughtfully.

James rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to talk to McGonagall tonight?" asked Sirius.

James's eyes flashed upwards in thought. "About what?"

"Let's think for a minute Prongs... What very important task do you have to do in the next couple weeks to maintain Gryffindor's honour?"

James glanced towards Remus for help.

"It starts with a Qu-" Remus tried.

"And ends with a -idditch," Peter finished.

"Right!" James slapped his hand to his forehead. "The pitch! I'll go at some point, but I have more important things to do tonight."

"Did you see Snivellus in Transfiguration yesterday?" A smile played on Peter's face. "He was giving Padfoot the death glare for a good hour."

"Maybe we should sacrifice him to a pagan god."

James raised his eyebrows at Sirius. "What good would that do?"

Sirius sighed, sometimes his friends could be too dense. "For one, it would get rid of him. For two, pagan gods like stuff to be sacrificed to them, so we could make them make us win at Quidditch."

"And for three," Remus finished, "we could get the pagan gods to break us out of Azkaban when we get sent there for murder."

"It wouldn't be murder," Sirius explained, "it would be ritualistic sacrifice! I'm sure there's a difference."

"Maybe in societies that worship pagan gods that demand sacrifices," James said. "But here I'm pretty sure it's murder."

"Hmph. Can we hex him? I'm sure he deserves at least a good Bat Boogie hex after giving me the death glare for an hour. Plus, Prongs, we still haven't gotten him back for having the ability to possibly blow your head off."

"Oh yeah... I'd forgotten about that... Right then! Maybe he'll just wake up tomorrow with clean hair." James grinned.

"It'd kill him," Remus said.

"Cleanliness is such a horrible thing," Peter said sarcastically.

"And speaking of," Sirius said, "we should get going."

As one unit, the stood up and made their way back to the common room.

*

The clock seemed to be moving much slower than usual as James stared at it. For once, the four boys were silent, each in their own world as they waited for the time to begin their Escapade. Remus was sprawled out across the floor, reading the assigned chapter for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Sirius was sitting on his bed, leaning against the pillows and idly flipping through a Which Broomstick magazine. Peter, on his own bed, was looking through another magazine, of a more... mature... subject matter. And James, well, he was lying on his stomach, deep in thought and staring at the clock, willing it to speed up.

The mere transition from nine thirty-eight and sixteen seconds to nine thirty-eight and seventeen seconds seemed to take a minute. James was normally a fairly patient person, he put up with the Admirers after all, but this was torture! Everything seemed to move at half speed, so his mind moved mechanically through his favourite topics to brood on.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team was going to be amazing this year. It had to be - he was captain! He was also the only Chaser left... that could be a problem. Getting used to the flying styles of two new people, on top of training them, would make it more difficult to have perfect coordination and timing. The plays he was so used to working with would have to be re-worked to pertain to his new teammates, whoever they would be.

Maybe, if he played his cards right, Lily Evans would be his girlfriend by the time of the first game, and she would actually turn up to watch him fly. But, then again, his efforts to impress her last year hadn't been too successful, only making her loathe him even more than before. It just didn't make sense! No other girl in the school needed to be impressed! The rest were satisfied with him just being there, they would crawl at his feet without even being acknowledged, why didn't Lily?

And speaking of people that hated him... What were they going to do to Snivellus? He had been relatively ignored since term began, he must be in for some special treatment by now. Maybe, when Moony wasn't looking, James would be able to curse him quickly during the Escapade. After all, there's nothing like waking up and realising that you have only one eyebrow.

One eyebrow... I'm liking this... but maybe it should be public? No. Then we can be accused without a doubt. But still, we can't put too much onto the Escapade; less is more, after all.

James rolled onto his back and, hanging his head upside-down over the edge of the bed, looked at the clock. It was very hard to tell, what with being upside-down and all, what time it was, and his neck was beginning to hurt, but it looked like, it was - "YES!"

"WHAT!" The other three boys leapt a good three feet in the air at James' sudden outburst.

"Men, let's roll." James flipped off the end of his bed and stood up excitedly.

Remus glanced at the clock, stretched hi arms, and yawned. "I s'pose it's time to go."

James sighed, rolling his head back. "Of course it's time to go! Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

Peter picked the Invisibility Cloak up off a chair and held it out to James. "Do something... interesting to Snivellus for me, will ya?"

James turned his head, grinned, and nodded before throwing the Cloak over his and Remus' shoulders.

"Wait! Something else!" Sirius grinned. "Prongs, Moony, be wary of anything sparkly or nice looking, it could be a trap."

Without responding, James and Remus crept down the staircase and across the common room. They didn't have to wait long before a group of third-years opened the portrait hole and they could slip through. Just as the portrait was closing, they could hear, and feel, the crash of one of Sirius' famous explosions reverberating from upstairs.

"And the fun begins," Remus muttered.

"To the Slytherins!" James whispered; although with then lack of a dramatic point in the direction of the Slytherin common room the effect was somewhat lost. "Whose on duty tonight?"

"Umm..." Remus paused at the top of a stairwell. Seeing as they had to stand very close together and hunch over, James almost walked into him. "I know Evans is. And... Sharpe, Kane and... I know there's someone else. Who?"

While Remus puzzled over the nameless Prefect, James rolled his eyes and pulled his friend down the staircase. At the bottom, he peered to the left before stepping out. "Come on, we're going to fall behind sched-"

The sound of footsteps echoed from just around the corner.

James pulled Remus back and they flattened against the wall. Even with the Invisibility Cloak, they could still be heard, and if someone walked into them it wouldn't be good. There are, after all, only so many things that you can blame on Peeves.

The footsteps stopped, and James made to glance around the corner, but Remus held him back. Not yet, he mouthed.

James nodded and stayed put. Right after, it became evident that Remus had been wise to keep them in one spot.

"Don't worry about it," a voice said. "You'll have to deal with this all year, don't make a big deal about it now."

"I know," said another voice, a very familiar voice, in an frustrated way. "It's just not fair Greg! If I want to be Head Girl I've got to be the best."

"Um, Lily? Dunno if you've noticed lately, but you are the best."

"No, I'm not. I still have to beat Potter." She sounded thoroughly disgusted.

"You have been beating him - in every class. I know OWLs were a shock, it was a shock to me too! I mean, who knew that he could actually come up with all O's?"

"Not me." She sounded sulky now. "I'm not the best until I beat him, and I can't beat him until he tries! If he's always going to underachieve unless it counts then how do I know if I'm actually ahead or not?"

"You don't. Just don't worry about it. Come on, let's go to the library."

She sighed. "Sometimes, I just want to wring his neck."

"I think you just like the idea of having a nemesis."

James could practically hear her grin. "Well, that too. But I really do hate him. D'you want to swing by the hall to Ravenclaw Tower on the way to the library?"

They began to walk away once more, leaving Remus anxious about time and James speechless.

What does she mean I don't try? I studied for OWLs! I worked for like two months! What does it matter how I do in class, what's her problem anyway? Why does she have to beat me? He gave the wall opposite a wry smile. Fine. Have it your way Miss Evans, if a challenge is what you want, a challenge is what you'll get. I'll work in on those stupid essays, and leave you far behind in the process.

"Prongs," Remus muttered, "we're got to go."

James didn't move.

"Talent," Remus whispered. "We've got to go before the potion wears off."

James snapped back to reality. "Right. Speed. Slytherin common rooms this way."

They hurried the rest of the way, as they were pushing for time. Luckily, they had no more run-ins with Prefects, teachers, and neatly evaded Peeves on the second-floor landing. Before they knew it, they were in front of the stone wall that led to the Slytherin common room.

"Galleon," James said confidently.

A door, concealed so that even a crack wasn't showing, slid open, revealing a stone passage.

Nose wrinkling in disgust, James walked in, Remus behind him.

Having been in the Slytherin common room before, they knew where they were going. They knew that the third door on the right of the corridor on the right side of the fireplace was Snivellus' dormitory. They knew that the chair beside the wall mural should be avoided. They knew that they had to stay on the embroidered, formal rugs, as the stone floors tended to make footsteps echo.

Looking around, James saw that there were very few people in the common room, and those that were there were fast asleep.

"Ready?" he asked Remus.

"Ready," he replied.

Taking off the Invisibility Cloak and draping it over the arm of a chair, James accepted one of the expanded bags from his friend.

"I'll take the boy's side," he said.

Remus eyed him for a moment, then agreed. "Alright. But don't go overboard."

"Now, now Moony, am I one to go overboard?"

Remus just stared, eyebrows arched,

James blinked. "On second thought, don't answer that."

They both smirked, then went to their respective hallways to do their work.

James opened the first door noiselessly. Peering in, he didn't bother to suppress his grin or laughter. The first-year boys were as dead as doornails. Fast asleep in a regular pigsty of a room.

Holding open the bag, he muttered, "Accio socks," and watched as dozens of socks shot towards him, and into the bag. He performed the spell seven times in that room, just to make sure he got everything.

This ritual was performed seven times, and before he knew it, James was standing at the foot of the bed where Snivellus Snape was snoring. He was spread-eagle on his back, shoulder-length black hair falling together in clumps. It was rather disgusting, really. His long, hooked nose stuck straight up, his nostrils flexing as he slept.

Chuckling, James pondered the best way to remove one eyebrow. Raising one eyebrow, a skill he had practiced long and hard, he looked around the room for a proper-sized object. His gaze rested on a shoe. Not the proper size, or relatively the same shape, but it would be funny if one Slytherin had only one shoe as well as no socks.

Pointing his wand at the shoe, James muttered an incantation under his breath and watched as the shoe became a razor.

Now a full-fledged evil grin spread across his face.