Brett and Raven Do Hogwarts

Chapter 5

It was 3:00 am when Brett leaned over Raven's face, a mere two inches from her nose.

"WAKEUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHP!" Brett yelled rather loudly.

Several other girls in the dorm awoke with a start, but it was Raven in particular who woke with the most outrageous startle. "BAH!! What the hell! Jesus save me!" She rolled backward and flipped feet over head off the other side of the bed, legs flailing.

"FIIIIIIIIIIRRRREEE!" Brett yelled again.

With this, all the girls in the dorm sprouted from their beds and ran out of the dorm room. Raven struggled to regain footing, but before she could get a good rhythm going, Brett grabbed her collar.

"Cahuh!" Raven choked out.

"Stop running like a lunatic," Brett shouted.

"Fire, fire's touching me! I can feel death on my skin!"

"Holy shit, you're acting like a mofo!" Brett laughed.

"Bah... Stop the madness.... Stop the madness!"

With this Brett reached for a large book, and cranked Raven in the head.

"Haaaaaaaay," she said in a slow, dragged out, high pitched voice, before falling to the ground.

Five minutes later, Raven awoke in the girl's lavatory with Brett at her side.

"Where's the fire?" Raven asked groggily.

"What? Oh, that. Ha. There was no fire," Brett giggled.

"Did you know, that your giggle sounds like a man's evil chuckle?" Raven said smartly.

"Uh yeah I did..."

"Oh, all right then."

"Yeah."

"Why did you do that back in the dorm?"

"Because I needed to talk to you. However, you were in a severe state of delusion, so I had to knock you out with a potions textbook."

"Why did you need to talk to me? Why couldn't you just wake me up normally? What was that fire thing all about?"

"The fire thing? Oh yes, aha. That was just for fun." Brett began laughing madly.

"You're insane!"

"No I'm not! I just enjoy the occasional practical joke! Isn't it a lovely day to take over the world?" Brett smirked.

"Yes, it does seem like a marvellous day to do that. But seriously, Brett, what's this all about?"

"We need to pull another prank. A prank of retaliation!"

"Why? What's so important about these pranks to you? I mean, they're fun and all, but don't you think we should play it cool at this school? I don't want to botch things up here, too. People are going to figure it out, and call us hoodlums!"

"Whoodi-whatties?" Brett protested. "I am not a hoodlum! And I'll be damned if anyone says I am!"

"Whatever, tell me about the prank, and why we need to do this again?"

"It's a retaliation prank, to prove that we can out prank the twins. Mwuahahahahahahahaha!"

"Oh, all right then."

***

The two of them left the girls bathroom and sauntered towards the kitchen. Once there, Brett tickled the pear.

"What are you doing?" Raven asked.

"Tickling the pear," Brett replied.

"Why?"

"So we can get into the kitchen."

"How did you know to tickle the pear?"

"Harry Potter, you know, the kid with the glasses, well he told me about it.

He tried to invite me in here once on a 'date'," Brett giggled. "He's not my type though. He wears glasses."

"You wear glasses."

"Yeah, but not always, you fiend!"

With that, they entered the kitchen. Inside, hundreds of house elves worked furiously on baked goods. It smelled like a wonderland of tastes. It was so wonderful; the smells were invigorating, and seductive. They filled the air with an aroma similar to that of the Burrow.

"What can I do for you?" a house elf asked Raven.

"Oh, uh, I'm with her!" Raven said quickly, pointing to Brett.

Brett turned around to reveal a rich caramel toffee strand hanging from her mouth, and connecting to a large brick of toffee the size of four house bricks, which sat on one of many counters.

"Don't eat the food!" Raven protested.

"That's what food's for, you fool! No shut up and dig in!" Brett said, tossing

Raven a chocolate chip cookie the size of her face.

"Yes MA'AM!" Raven replied with a salute, and began munching on the cookie.

Brett tapped an elf on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir, or ma'am, but I need you to do me a favour."

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, see, as you may or may not know, life here at Hogwarts can be very boring, and the best parts of the day, are the times in which we get to eat."

"Oh yes, I love to eat too!"

"Yes, of course you do, and might I add, the food you folk produce is pretty damn good." The elf blushed furiously. "There is however, one flaw."

The elf's face sunk immediately. "What is it? Can we fix it?"

"Oh yes, you can. See, the food is kind of boring. You need to fix it up. You need to jinx it."

"What kind of a jinx?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about, if your food talked to you? How cool would that be?" Brett said, with a keen face of interest.

"I can make that happen!" the elf said. And with a wink, he turned on his heel.

"This turned out to be much easier than expected," Brett shrugged to Raven.

"ELVES! LISTEN UP! WE NEED TO MAKE THE FOOD TALK!" the elf cried out.

And with that, Brett and Raven turned on their heels, and waltzed out of the kitchen.

***

The next morning at breakfast, the food didn't talk. Brett was quite upset with this. However, during lunch, the food spoke up. Rumour had it, that Professor McGonagall had encountered a talking turkey sandwich and reported it to Dumbledore. Sure enough, that evening, Dumbledore had an encounter himself.

Everyone took their seats in the Great Hall, and began eating their food effortlessly. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, until Neville Longbottom began screaming.

"It's talking!" he cried out.

"So's mine!" a Slytherin boy chanted.

"Merlin!" a course of Hufflepuff's let out.

It wasn't until Dumbledore began laughing, that the chaos stopped.

"Hey! You're eating me!" Dumbledore's roll chanted.

"Ha ha ha. Why yes, I certainly am!" he laughed out, tears streaming from his eyes.

Raven and Brett couldn't help themselves, and exchanged a high-five. They turned back to Dumbledore's fit of hysteria, just in time to catch a wink he had sent their way.

Raven and Brett, however, weren't the only ones who caught the wink. Fred and George, who were sitting just a few seats away, also witnessed this.

"Well, I'll be damned," Fred said to George.

"Indeed... I will also be damned," George said to Fred.

"Well, now we know who's to blame for the humorous dinner we've eaten tonight, don't we Georgy?" Fred said with a smirk.

"Yes, we do, Fredrick." George flung a spoon of crying ham at Fred. "And don't call me Georgy, you prat!"

"Oi! Then don't call me Fredrick, you mongrel!" he said as he threw back some singing mashed potatoes.

Within minutes, a gigantic food fight broke out. Fred and George were wrestling on the ground, smudging whipped cream in each other's shiny red hair, when George noticed Raven and Brett leave the Great Hall in a hurry.

"Get off me, mate," George said, pulling himself up.

"Help me up," Fred demanded, shoving his hand in George's face.

George helped his twin brother up, and they ran off together, covered in whipped cream, towards the girls. They seemed to be headed for the common room, but then took sharp separate turns in different directions.

"You go after Brett, and I'll go after Raven!" Fred said.

"All right then," George replied, and began a brisk pace.

"WAIT!" Fred called. "You know what to ask her, right mate?"

"Damn straight I do!"

*****

George could see Brett walking swiftly towards a turn in the corridor. He picked up his pace, as he did not want to lose her. Brett, who was more than aware of her silent pursuer began a brisk, yet light jog. She kind of enjoyed the chase. George began jogging closely behind her. He enjoyed the challenge. Now that they were both aware of each other's presence, they both enjoyed this little game of cat and/or mouse. Brett broke into a mad dash, and violent run, because part of her wanted to loose her hindrance, who went by the name of George, and another part of her wanted him to catch her. There was a third party involved, that part of her wished she were still in the Great Hall, eating food.

George was more determined than ever, as he did not want to loose Brett, and disappoint his brother, who had probably already caught Raven by now, and he had personal reasons for wanting to catch Brett. He secretly desired the opportunity to touch her. He had wanted to do so since their encounter on the stairs at the Burrow when he accused her of being a "Stair Baron". He didn't even realise how fast he was running, and frankly, he didn't care. In the midst of the speed chase, Brett's robes had fallen off, exposing her jeans and t-shirt but she didn't stop for them. George considered picking them up for her, but decided against it.

They ran for a good ten minutes, when George finally was running along side Brett. He pushed her to the side, and she almost lost her footing, but was far to skilled, from her days back in public school, when hallway dodging could have been an Olympic sport. She pushed George back, who wasn't affected, most likely because of his Quidditch skills. Brett didn't even know why she was running anymore, George had clearly proven himself capable of catching up to her, so why keep running? She decided to stop, and to her favor, a broom closet stood unlocked near by. She grabbed the knob of the door, and George's arm, and she pulled him into the closet, then slammed the door shut behind her.

It was dark, but still light enough to make out the whipped cream in George's hair, and all over his face.

"Why didn't you stop?" George asked her.

"Why didn't you give up?" Brett asked with a seductive smirk.

"Because I didn't want to."

"You've got whipped cream on your face," Brett said bluntly.

"It's in my hair too."

Brett pushed up against him, and wiped some whipped cream off his face, and then licked it off her finger.

George wiped some off his face also, and then smeared it onto Brett's. He then took a chance and could feel his heart leap a couple times as he licked it off her face.

Brett, not being the type to back down from such a seductive action, leaned in once more, and licked some more off his face.

"There's some down my pants too," George said slyly with a tilted smirk.

"Watch it, skid," Brett said back.

"What if I don't want to?"

"You should though, because I asked you to."

"So, you're saying that if I asked you to kiss me, you would, because I asked--'

Brett caught George off guard, when she pulled him towards her by his Gryffindor styled tie, and kissed him, for a good ten seconds. When she was done, she opened the door and walked out towards her fallen robe. George, after a minute of confusion, realised that she was getting away and he hadn't asked her what Fred told him yet. So he ran out after her. He found her where her robe had fallen off; she was putting it back on.

*

Meanwhile, Fred was in hot pursuit of Raven down the opposite corridor. She wasn't too far ahead of him and since he considered himself to be a fast runner, he thought he would easily catch up to her. She knew he was there however and knew she couldn't outrun him for long hence she needed to outsmart him in this instead. She started to take sudden and unexpected turns causing Fred some difficulties, but he managed to keep up. She turned a corner and then quickly hid behind a suit of armour before he turned the corner. Once he did, she could see his expression change to a look of confusion from her hiding spot. He slowed down almost immediately and started looking around bewildered. He walked right past Raven and would have kept going if Raven hadn't shifted slightly to watch him and caused the arm of the suit of armour to shift as well causing a few banging noises. Fred spun around to stare at the armour which he was positive hid a certain girl he was attempting to locate.

"I wonder what could have made that arm shift and bang around like that?" he said to 'himself'. Raven sprung out from her hiding place in an attempt to run for it, but Fred was to quick and caught her around the waist. The momentum she had though made them both fall onto the floor, Fred on top of her just like when they first met at the Burrow.

"Well hello. Fancy meeting you here. I was just on a leisurely stroll when--"

"Oh shut up Fred, and get off of me," Raven cut in.

"Well that was rude," Fred said matter-of-factly.

"And so was chasing me, grabbing me, falling on me, getting me full of whipped cream from that grab and fall, and then refusing to get off me," Raven shot back.

"Oh all right you win," Fred admitted. "But I won't get up yet."

"What? Why not?" Raven demanded.

"Well you see, this way, it's much easier to take some of this whipped cream in my hair and smear it all over your face," Fred said as he did just that.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Raven let out in horror, but as Fred began laughing, she started laughing to. She managed to get a hand free from under Fred. "You know, I don't think there's enough whipped cream on your face." She started smearing whipped cream from his hair onto his face. He jumped to his knees in both shock and just trying to get away from more whipped cream being smeared in his face. Raven was quick to take advantage of this and sat up and pushed him down.

"Hey, that's not fair! You shouldn't be able to take my whipped cream and use it against me," Fred complained whilst sitting up and laughing.

"Fair? I see no rule book here for a whipped cream fight."

"Yes well now that we're both very much sticky and full of whipped cream, there is something I need to talk to you about."

**

George was looking at Brett, who stood only a short distance away.

"Brett, I need to talk to you, don't walk away just yet!"

"All righty then."

"Look, Fred and I know that it was you and Raven."

"What are you talking about?"

*

"We know that you and Brett pulled off the food stunt."

"What gave you that theory?"

"The fact that -

**

"-You guys left the Great Hall so soon, and that you two were blatantly obvious about your involvement in the infamous "desk-stacking" fiasco."

"How many people know it was us? Does the whole school have it down?"

*

"No, just us. But that could change, should you decide to make this difficult."

"Make what difficult?" Raven was curious.

**

"Well, Fred and I can't have you two gallivanting about causing a ruckus and pulling off all these high class pranks, while we, the original pranksters of Hogwarts, sit around getting no action at all."

"Was that supposed to be a subconscious cry for sexual attention?" Brett laughed out.

"No, it was me, making my point clear!"

*

"And what point would that be?" Raven asked.

"If you can't beat em', join em'!"

"Ooooh, now that's---

**

"-Clever."

"Yes, we thought so too!" George said, assuringly nodding his head, with a crooked smirk on his bright face.

"What did you want to join us in though? I'm kind of lost here."

"Pranks. Gags. The whole bit. You know how it goes and all."

"No, not really."

"Well, we've never had a match like this before, when it comes to pranks and being trouble makers. But it seems to us, that we've found you."

*

"That's nice, but what do you want from us?"

"We want you to help us pull off the ultimate prank!"

"And what does this prank involve?"

**

"Uh, we don't know yet. But think about it. Our ideas with your ideas would make some ultimate ideas. We could pull off something really lethal. Know what I mean?" George was getting really excited.

"Sounds good to me, but uh---

*

"-let me talk it over with my partner," Raven said.

"You're partner in what?"

"My partner in crime, of course!"