To Have and to Want

Harry felt completely lost for weeks after their foray into Bulgaria, Romania, and the Ministry. The evidence clearly pointed to a Horcrux, but the thread ended because someone--someone other than Voldemort, perhaps even someone opposed to him--removed the item from the Ministry vault. Hermione tried to find out what the item was, but ran into a stone wall, since it concerned the Department of Mysteries.

Hermione and Ron had embarked on a relationship, but it was not the kind of relationship Harry expected them to have. Hermione was still in deep pain over Krum's death, and instead of bickering and humor, the couple seemed to prefer sadness and comfort. Harry knew better than to try to do anything about it, but they seemed to retreat completely into each other, ignoring the others.

Harry quickly told Parvati and the others what Horcruxes were, and why it was important to find the last one, whatever it was. Parvati surprised at Harry's desire to keep it secret in the first place. "You-Know-Who is evil. That's news?"

"Not that. First, we don't want him to know we're on to him."

"If he hasn't figured it out by now, when you and Dumbledore took care of all but one of his Horcruxes, he'd be really dumb."

"Second," Harry continued, "someone else might get the bright idea of making a couple of Horcruxes, and we have the same problem all over again. One Voldemort is more than enough."

"That can be said of all Dark magic. People use it to gain power, at any price. We can't blame the fact that knowledge is available."

"I'd still rather not have Horcruxes be common knowledge."

Parvati had to agree. "But Harry, we know the real reason you haven't told anyone besides Ron and Hermione."

"Dumbledore asked me not to."

"Exactly, Harry. But unfortunately, Dumbledore isn't here."

"Don't remind me. You didn't know him like I did... I miss him, Parvati."

"I know. So why did you choose to tell me now?"

"I think he'd approve, at least in this instance... but the real reason... It just didn't feel right to have you risk your life so much and not knowing the reason."

"I know the reason. I'm risking my life for you."

"Why?"

"Haven't you figured it out already?"

"I'm supposed to figure you out? You're the strangest girl I've ever met."
"This coming from someone who hangs around Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood."

"What do you have against Hermione and Luna? Are you jealous?"

"Don't be silly, I have nothing against them. It's just that most people would say I'm normal compared to them. Do I have reason to be jealous?"

"No reason. I knew perfectly well who Hermione fancied for a long time. And at this point, any attempt to date Luna should be considered taking advantage. She really loved Neville. And as for what most people would say, I'm not most people."

"True," Parvati said, running her fingers through his hair. "You're far sexier than most people."

"Parvati, please stop flirting with me unless you're serious."

"I'm serious. The question is, are you? You promised we'd settle the issues when you returned from the mission to Transylvania. Well?"

"All right. I've known for along time that I can trust you with my life. I'm not so certain that I can trust anyone with my heart--I told you already that people died because they loved me--"

"That's what I'm telling you, Harry. If I love you, I'd risk my life for you whether we're dating or not, and I did that, as you well know. So it makes hardly any difference."

"You're more public when you date me. You're more of a target."

"My life is mine to risk. I'm willing to take that risk."

"Then I suppose I have to take the risk of dating you in the first place. I'm not perfect and neither are you, but if Ron and Hermione can work things out, I don't see why we shouldn't."

"I'm not sure I like that comparison. Didn't they used to argue all the time?"

"Used to. And even if they start up again, it doesn't matter. That's just who they are. I've known longer than you. They enjoy it. Most of the time."

"We won't be like them--"

"We've already had our share of conflicts."

"I promise I won't run to Dean every time--"

"Forget about it. We solve our problems by ourselves. Deal?"

"Deal? And Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I meant it. I'd risk my life if you were in danger, regardless of our dating status. That's a dangerous gift you gave me, you know. I love you, Harry."

For a long time afterwards, not a single word was said in the room.

XXX

Personally, the next few months were among the happiest Harry has ever had. But the search for Horcruxes had run into a dead end, and that frustrated Harry so much that it seemed to transfer to the others. When Hermione tried to point out that they have done all they could, he responded sharply, "Not enough, is it? People are still dying!" and was in a foul mood for days. Compared to last year, when life continued in much the usual way despite the war, Hogwarts was a quiet, subdued place.

At least the Ministry wasn't working against him anymore. In fact, Rufus Scrimgeour was now willing to do almost anything to help him, but even that didn't do much good. No one, in the Ministry or outside, had any idea what was kept inside the room the key they made such efforts to recover unlocked.

One evening, Harry, remembering that the bartender of the Leaky Cauldron, Tom, had been there since before Voldemort's school days, and seeing nothing else to do, decided to go and talk to him. Tom was always helpful when they needed to stay at his pub without half the wizarding world knowing about it, and Harry decided that he was, at least nominally, on their side. It couldn't hurt, and they didn't really have any other options on the table.

"You-Know-Who often did come in here when he was at Hogwarts and afterwards, working at Borgin & Burke's," Tom replied to Harry's question. "If I had known then I would have paid more attention to what he and his friends talked about--if they were careless enough to let me eavesdrop, of course, which I doubt."

"No mentions of the Department of Mysteries at any time?"

"Not that I recall. They did talk about the Ministry often, and they... never hid their low opinion of it."

Harry had stopped being bothered by the similarities between him and Voldemort a long time ago. The differences, as Dumbledore pointed out, far outweighed them. And Tom's next statement proved that once more.

"'A pack of Muggle-loving fools' is about the mildest you could expect from them."

Harry had thought about his next question when something stung him. He realized it was the pendant hanging around is neck, and took it out. The ruby phoenix eyes were flashing.

"Damn!" he said. "Parvati's in trouble, I've got to go!" And he Disapparated before Tom could say anything.

Apparating in Hogsmeade, he ran faster than he ever did before. While there was no Dark Mark over the castle, like last year, Harry could sense something terrible happening. And right at the entrance of the castle, he found Lupin and Tonks, their stunned bodies lying on the ground, and apelike figures of Crabbe and Goyle--Draco Malfoy's school goons--standing over them.

"Stupefy!" he shouted, and fell Crabbe. Goyle raised his wand before collapsing under another stunner.

Since it was preposterous to think that Lupin and Tonks were defeated by Crabbe and Goyle, that meant there were more Death Eaters around... probably already inside. Chaos reigned in the halls of the castle, as students, faculty, and Order members fought Voldemort's followers everywhere. Harry had no idea how they got in this time, and he didn't care. One thing occupied his mind. Find Parvati.

"Harry!" the voice of Hermione called out. He turned. She and Ron were engaging two Death Eaters.

"Aaa!" Ron screamed as as well-aimed curse from one of them drew a fountain of blood from his arm. Hermione rushed towards him.

"Crucio!" the other Death Eater said, causing Hermione to drop next to her boyfriend. Harry raised his wand, but something hit him in the back. He felt dizzy... couldn't see straight.

"The Dark Lord wants to meet with you, Potter," he heard the voice of Dolohov.

"Stupefy!" someone yelled. "Finite Incantatem!"

Harry got up and turned to see Theodore Nott and Daphne Greengrass approaching. The death Eater who was torturing Hermione turned as well. It was Nott's father.

"Why are you fighting for these blood-traitors, son?" the elder Nott demanded.

Theodore raised his wand. "Shut up. You know why. Harry, Malfoy went towards the dungeons. Parvati and Ginny--"

Harry nodded and ran downstairs. Nott started a duel with his father.

Harry got to the first floor and was ready to rush into the place where he had spent so many unpleasant hours with Snape, but what he saw above the last staircase stopped him cold. Padma, Parvati, and Ginny hovered in mid-air in an all too familiar way, and below them stood Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson, who looked at him smugly.

Harry lifted his wand and pointed it at Malfoy. "Let them go," he said.

XXX

Malfoy's grin vanished. Harry nearly cast a spell before realizing the danger. He continued pointing at Malfoy. His school nemesis had changed, and not for the better. Unlike last year, he didn't look to have any problems with killing three people.

"Let them go," Harry repeated.

"Or what? Can you get both of us and save your little girlfriends?"

"In fact," Malfoy continued, "I can drop them right now, and you won't be able to do a thing."

I can drop them right now. He remembered what Parvati told him, long ago, about seeing herself--or Padma--falling in the crystal ball. Could it--

"Keep talking, Malfoy," Harry said. "My friends will show up--"

"Or mine," Malfoy countered. "Your buddies are getting thin, aren't they? Longbottom and the Bulgarian idiot are dead, the werewolf is down, I've already killed the Lovegood girl--"

"You're lying," Harry said, even though he knew he probably wasn't. If Malfoy wanted to boast, he'd tell him he killed Hermione.

Harry pointed his wand at Pansy and thought, Levicorpus! Malfoy looked shocked as the one-sided hostage situation became a mirror one, but quickly recovered.

"The difference between us, Potter, is that I don't care if you kill Pansy, as long as I get to bring you to the Dark Lord--"

"If that's what you want, you can let them go. I will come along," Harry said. "And you're lying. You do care." He lifted Pansy higher.

"That's enough, Potter!" Malfoy said. "The Dark Lord awaits." He threw a spell out.

Several things happened at once. Parvati, Ginny, Padma, and Pansy all dropped--the first three because Malfoy had to let go to attack Harry, and Pansy because Harry threw up a shield to protect himself. Harry spotted something small moving on the floor, and the next moment, Wormtail was standing at the top of the stairs, having transformed from his Animagus form.

Harry was about to curse him when the ex-Marauder raised his wand and, catching all the girls, lowered them to the ground. By the look on Malfoy's face, he was as shocked as Harry by this development, although he swung to action before Harry managed to gather himself.

"Avada Kedavra!" he shouted, and Harry dropped. Wormtail didn't even bother to protect himself, taking the green bolt head-on.

The girls fell, but Wormtail managed to lower them close to the ground, and none of them looked hurt. Before Malfoy recovered, Harry stunned him, then did the same for good measure with Pansy, and stood up.

He checked the pulse of Parvati, Ginny, and Padma, and breathed with relief, seeing as they were all alive. He then raised his wand, and headed straight into the dungeon.

The door was locked, but seeing as the Alohomora charm opened it, it wasn't really meant to be secure. Harry entered.

"Took you long enough, Potter," Snape said.

Before Harry could do anything, Snape's wand erupted with fire. Harry found himself bound and hanging in mid-air, being maneuvered inside the room.

Only now did Harry notice the second figure. He guessed who it might be, and unfortunately, had his guess immediately confirmed when Voldemort looked at him, a triumphant look in the glowing red eyes. But what surprised Harry more than anything was the familiar item standing on the floor. Harry had no idea how it got here, and at this moment, it hardly mattered. But the situation was the last one he expected, giving the past experience with this item.

Lord Voldemort was looking into the Mirror of Erised.