To Have and to Want

"Whoa, back up," Harry said. "What exactly happened?"

"Well..." Patrick began.

"This is a guy who doesn't like the idea of sticking to one woman," Parvati declared.

"Now wait just a minute!" Patrick protested. "You--"

"You cheated on her?" Harry asked.

"Yes, he did!" Parvati exclaimed. Then, quickly, she muttered, "I shouldn't have come here."

"And why's that?" Harry asked. "Just ignore him and you'll be fine."

She gave him a stare. "Are you sure, Mr. Potter? I may take you up on that."

"Why don't you?" And with that, he led her to the dance floor.

"You're better than the last time we danced," she said.

"I have better motivations."

"Really? And what's that?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Okay, keep your secrets and be mysterious," she retorted. "Why would your Aunt have you serve drinks?"
Harry frowned. "You don't know what it's like, do you? Living with relatives who hate you because of who you are... but I won't have to. Not anymore."

"What?"

"Didn't I tell you? It's my birthday... well, it will be in... fourteen minutes. My seventeenth birthday."

"So what'll you do?"

"What I need to," he said cryptically. "But I'd rather not talk about that now." Harry spun her around. "This is a lot more fun."

"Agreed," Parvati said. "Shall we watch the clock?"

Harry nodded. Sneaking glances at the clock as they danced, they watched the midnight approach. "Parvati, come on. I'm going to give Dudley one last scare."

Parvati smiled and followed Harry.

"Hello, cousin," he said as he approached the chair Dudley was sitting in. "Having fun?"

"Aren't you brave now that you've got your freak girlfriend with you?"

"Parvati is not a freak," Harry said, "and you better watch out."

"Oh yeah? They'll expel you if--"

"Dudley, what day is it today?"

Dudley gave a thought to it. "Oh..." The clock began to strike twelve.

Dudley looked paralyzed with fear. "What're you going to do?"

"Oh, I've got a couple of ideas," Harry said casually.

At the stroke of twelve, Dudley shook. "Oh, lay it off, big D," Harry said. "I'm not stupid enough to do anything here. And I won't do anything at all if I don't have a reason to." And leaving Dudley alone, he headed back to the dance floor.

"I think you should get a birthday present," Parvati said.

"Parvati... you don't have to."

"I know I don't. I would have bought something if I knew--"

"You couldn't have known," Harry protested. "You shouldn't--"

Parvati leaned in and kissed him.

Awkwardly, Harry kissed back.

"Hmm..." he said. "I think I like that present."

"You think?" Parvati stepped back and hit his arm. "Do you want another one?"

"Uhm..."

"Oh, forget it. You're hopeless." She gave him another kiss.

"When is your birthday?" Harry suddenly asked. "Just so I don't forget in the future."

"February 6^th," Parvati said. "And if you do remember, you'll be my first boyfriend who does."

Harry led her towards a bench and sat down. "Will you be going back to Hogwarts?" he asked.

"If it opens, yes. I do want to graduate."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

Parvati glanced at the clock. It was approaching 12:30.

"I have to go," she said. "Don't worry, as soon as I'm out of the Muggles' view, I'll Apparate straight home. Write to me, Harry, okay? Lavender is too far, and you have no idea how boring my family can be."

Harry frowned. Letters could be intercepted easily. "I doubt I'll be able to say anything interesting in my letters," he said. "I'll try, though. I just don't even know what I'll be doing next."

Parvati nodded. "You aren't going to tell me what, are you? I'll let it go... for now. You won't be able to get with that forever."
Harry laughed. "But I can try."

"Patils are persistent," Parvati countered.

Harry shook his head. "So are Potters."

"I hope to see you on the Hogwarts Express, Harry. Whatever it is you'll be doing... good luck." She gave him a final kiss before walking out the door.

Harry gathered himself, and, not seeing anything else to do, went to find his cousin. "Dudley!" he yelled. "Let's go home."

"Don't tell me what--" Dudley stopped as Harry moved to draw his wand. "Where's Aunt Marge?" he asked.

Harry pointed to the broom closet. "Come on," he said. Not without difficulty, they got Aunt Marge into the car. Harry could have used magic to make her lighter, but he enjoyed making Dudley sweat. He made Dudley drive home. Dudley didn't complain.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia still hadn't gone to sleep when they came.

"How was it, son? Did you have fun?" Uncle Vernon asked.

"Fine, Dad," Dudley said.

"Where's Aunt Marge?"

"In the car," Harry answered. "Drunk."

Uncle Vernon turned red. "My sister doesn't get drunk!" he yelled.

"See for yourself," Harry shrugged and headed upstairs to retrieve his trunk.

"Boy!" Uncle Vernon yelled. "What did you do to my sister?"

"Nothing. She'll wake up in the morning, like a normal person. And I'll be gone by then."

"You're leaving?" Aunt Petunia said.

"I'm seventeen, and considered an adult in the wizarding world. I would have left her years ago if I had a choice. If I never come here again, it'll be too soon." He looked at the Dursleys. "You know Voldemort is out there. You know he's after me. Here's something you don't know--Dumbledore told me I need love to defeat him. Well, I certainly won't find any here. And remember, Aunt Petunia--deep down, you know very well that if the situation was the opposite, if you and Uncle Vernon died and Dudley had to be raised by my parents--they wouldn't treat him the way you treated me. You can deny it, but in your hearts, you know. Make of that what you will. Goodbye." He Disapparated before the Dursleys could get in a word.

XXX

Harry Apparated in Ottery St. Catchpole and walked to the Burrow. H eknocked on the familiar door.

"Who is it?" he heard Ron's voice.

"Me."

"Harry!" Ron exclaimed. "I'll--"

"Ron!" Hermione's voice interrupted him. "Remember the rules?"

"Oh... Harry, what did you tell me the last time we talked before the first Triwizard Tournament task?"

Harry concentrated. That was during their row, when they hardly talked... "I tossed a 'Potter Stinks' badge at you. Then I said, 'Why don't you wear that Tuesday. Maybe now you'll even have a scar on your forehead. It's what you want, isn't it?'"

"It's Harry, all right. I never told anyone about that."

Hermione opened the door and motioned him to join them at the table. "Hey, mate," Ron greeted him. "Tea?"

"Thanks," Harry took the teacup. Hermione sat back down. Several books and parchments lay in front of her.

"What are you doing up?" he asked. "It's three in the morning."

"Mum's crazy," Ron said.

"Ron, don't say that," Hermione chided him. "With all the work preparing for the wedding, people sleep at odd hours," she explained. "Plus, they decided we should have someone awake at all times--for added safety. It's my night."

"And Ron volunteered to keep you company?" Harry asked.

Hermione blushed. "How was it? At Muggles', I mean?"

"Not that bad," Harry said. "So what is it you're researching?"

"History of the first war," she answered. "Voldemort--oh, Ron, when are you going to realize that's just superstition--the Death Eaters, what the Ministry did--more like what the Ministry didn't do, actually."

"No changes on that front?" Harry asked.

"Still placing public opinion ahead of everything else," she said bitterly. "And the Order has been getting even less support since Dumbledore's death."

"Who's head of the Order now?" Harry asked. "McGonagall?"
Ron shook his head. "No, she's too busy with Hogwarts. It's Mum," he said. "So now she does all the interesting stuff while farming out the wedding preparation to us."

Harry nodded. "Where's everyone else?"

"Bill is visiting Fleur's family in France," Ron said. "Charlie's in Romania, Percy--well, you know, Fred and George are in their shop. It's been just the three of us, mostly--Dad's working late and Mum's busy with the Order." He grinned. "I sort of like that." Hermione only shook her head.

"Ginny's asleep?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Hermione said. "What're your plans?"

"First," he said, "get some sleep myself. Second, go to the Ministry and get my Apparition license."

"You Apparated here... without a license?"

"I already did that... with Dumbledore. On that night. What're they going to do," he smirked, "send the Chosen One to Azkaban?"
"Harry, that's not funny."

He shrugged. "I also need to arrange a couple of things." He lowered his voice. "We shouldn't discuss anything important here."

"You're going to bed?" Ron interrupted.

"Yeah."

"Well, Mum asked us to pick up some things at Diagon Alley tomorrow morning, so we'll probably miss you. Good luck with the license test, mate."

"Good luck, Harry." Hermione hugged him.

"Um, thanks. I'll go to Grimmauld after t he test, and we can discuss the plans there."

Hermione nodded. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight."

XXX

The next day, Ron and Hermione already left by the time he came down. "Harry!" Ginny ran at him from the kitchen table, her long red hair waving behind her.

"Morning, Ginny. Is everything all right?"

"Mostly," she replied. "I just wish it was a bit... calmer. With Voldemort around, don't you think losing your nerves over a wedding is overdoing it?"

Harry nodded. "You said Voldemort."

Ginny shrugged. "In case you're wondering, the secret is still a secret. Padma insists--"

"Ginny," he said firmly. "You know how I feel... felt about you?"

"So which is it? Feel or felt?"

"Doesn't matter. But considering that you used to feel the same way--or thought you did--I think it's prudent to stay out of each other's love lives."

"Deal," she said. Then she leaned in and whispered into his ear. "So who is she?"

"Ginny..." he said sternly.

"Come on. You know who--"

"Well," he grinned, "you could find out the same way I did."

"Ouch. That was low, Potter, even for you."

"Speaking of which, any progress between Ron and Hermione?"

Ginny appeared amused. "Those two? Hopeless. I feel the urge to yell at them to snog each other senseless."

"I might just try that," Harry offered.

"Please do."

Harry laughed. "Thanks," he said. "Are they reopening Hogwarts?"
"I don't know--no one does. Professor McGonagall seems upset. Does it matter? To you, I mean."

"It's home," Harry said.

"I know."

They ate breakfast in silence.

"Well, I better go, or I'll be late for my test."

"Good luck," she said.

"Thanks, Ginny. I'll see you tonight."

"When?"

"Depends. But I doubt it'll be very late. Ten or eleven at worst."

Ginny nodded. "All right. I'll see you later."

Harry left the Burrow and headed towards a street where he could summon the Knight Bus. He felt a bit of satisfaction at what happened. Ginny asked him if they were still friends. He could answer her now, and the answer was affirmative.

XXX

Having successfully passed his Apparition test, Harry arrived at Grimmauld place. He hasn't set foot here in a year and a half, and he didn't want to do so now, but there was no other location he'd consider secure enough. He heard two pops behind him and drew his wand. But it was only Ron and Hermione.

"Did you pass?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded. "Come in. Might as well make ourselves happy with food. There won't be anything else."

"Harry, that's grim--"

"It's the truth. We lost the most powerful wizard on our side--"

"No, we haven't, Harry," Hermione said, and looked at him.

Harry understood what she meant, and, while proud, privately refused to accept this. He doubted whether Dumbledore was right to trust in him. Their last mission produced nothing of value, and ended in Dumbledore's death.

"Harry?" Ron whispered.

"Huh? Oh," he said. "You know, you can still leave, and put yourselves--"

"Harry, you know what we'll say to that."

Harry sighed. "So, here's where we stand: Voldemort split his soul into seen pieces, encasing in them in objects that held sentimental value to him. As long as pieces of his soul exist outside his body, taking him on directly is pointless."

"Harry, why? Can't we destroy his body and then, in relative peace, search for the Horcruxes?"

"I've thought about it. The problem is, according to the prophecy, I'm the only one who can defeat him. And I'll likely only get one chance at him, so I've got to make it count. Also, only three people, besides Voldemort himself, know about the seven pieces of Voldemort's soul, and all three are right here."

"And?" Ron asked.

"And I'm not so sure what our chances of survival are. If we're all dead, even if we destroy Voldemort's new body, this time, the Death Eaters know precisely what they need to do. And they won't readily believe he's dead this time around."

"We need to destroy the four remaining Horcruxes to make sure that when Voldemort is killed, he stays dead."

"But wouldn't there be six--"

"Two are already gone. Remember Dumbledore's hand? He got that injury attempting to destroy Marvolo's ring."

"Marvolo--his grandfather?" Hermione remembered.

Harry nodded. "Marvolo Gaunt. His daughter Merope was Voldemort's mother. The family lost its fortune, but held onto a few trinkets, one of which was the Gaunt family ring. Voldemort created his first Horcrux from it. Dumbledore found and destroyed it, although his hand got injured."

"But that's one," Hermione said. "What--"

"The diary," Harry supplied. "The one that possessed Ginny. It held a piece of Voldemort's soul in it. Dumbledore said it was gone when I put a basilisk fang through it."

"And the other four?"

"Well, Voldemort was big on symbolism, and Hogwarts was important to him. He wanted artifacts from each of the four founders. He definitely got a locket of Slytherin and a golden cup of Hufflepuff's. Dumbledore said that the only known artifact of Gryffindor is the sword I drew from the hat, and that it checked fine. However, he did think that Voldemort's pet snake is a Horcrux, too."

"A living--"

"Yes. Not too efficient, but better than nothing--Dumbledore thought it was an emergency precaution."

"You know, Slughorn should be sent to Azkaban for--"

"if we start arresting people who helped Voldemort inadvertently, we'll jail half the English wizarding population. Starting with myself. Voldemort used Slughorn."

"So," Hermione summed it up, "we have tow known, one possible, and one completely mysterious Horcrux."

"Yes," Harry agreed. "I think we should start with the locket. Dumbledore thought he found the place where Voldemort hid it. That's where we went that night. It was the place, all right, but someone--some R.A.B.--got there first. He says he'll destroy the Horcrux as soon as he can, but I don't think we should blindly trust him to have done that. At least not till we know who he was."

"Or she," Hermione interjected.

Harry agreed. "We need a list of all places that may have been important to Voldemort--where he'd try to hide Horcruxes."

"We'll, you know more about Voldemort's life than--"

"I know. I'll do it. You think I'm eager to leave and go out and face death?"

"No, of course not," Ron replied. "It's just, if it was me, I'd want to get this over with."

"I do," Harry said. "But I'll stay till Bill's wedding. At least someone's going to be happy."

"Harry, don't say that," Hermione chided him. "You can still be happy."

He remembered the birthday night he had spent with Parvati. "I'm trying to," he said.