Harry Potter and the Loathsome Lobster of Leeds

“You say the word, you know I will find you

but if you need some time I don't mind

I don't hold onto the tail of your kite

I'm not like the girls that you've known

but I believe I'm worth coming home to

Kiss away night, this girl only sleeps with butterflies

So go on and fly then, boy”

- “Sleeps With Butterflies” cTori Amos

”No way,” Ron said, blinking slowly. “Fred and Hermione?” Harry nodded.

“Luna and I saw them yesterday,” he said.

“I can't believe it. I thought it was a bit odd that they appeared to get on so well at the burrow last summer, but I had no idea,” Ron said.

“I guess it's none of our business, really,” Harry said with a shrug.

“No wonder she was so low key about you and Luna,” Ron said. Harry smacked him hard on the back of the head.

“Oww! What the bloody hell did you do that for?” he asked in protest.

“I forgot to thank you for announcing your speculations on my love life within the earshot of Draco Malfoy,” Harry said.

“I didn't know he was there!” Ron said sulkily.

“We'd better get down to the grounds before Hooch comes and drags us down there by the ears,” Harry said with a heavy sigh.

Harry was enveloped by Molly Weasley's arms the moment he came within her reach.

“I'm so excited to be back at Hogwarts,” she said after letting him go, a girlish gleam in her eye. “Arthur and I met here. It brings back so many memories.” Harry saw Arthur Weasley chatting with a couple nearby. He could tell immediately by the woman's chestnut curls and large brown eyes that these had to be the Grangers. He spotted Hermione coming their way.

“Mum! Dad! This is Harry Potter,” she called, taking his arm and pulling him towards them. She held Ron captive on her other arm.

“And this is Ron Weasley,” she said. Mr. Granger seemed overwhelmed and uncomfortable in these surroundings. Mrs. Granger seemed to be a calm, analytical woman.

“We've heard so much about you two,” she said, giving each of them a brief hug. “Thank you for looking out for our little girl.” Hermione gave the pair a careful sideways glance, as she waved over another of the gathered Weasley tribe.

“This is Fred, Mum,” she said nervously.

“Well hello, Fred,” her mother said with a bright smile. “We've heard an awful lot about you, too.” Hermione hurriedly stepped up to Ron and Harry.

“Um, so are you going to do the flying thing now?” she asked. Harry and Ron exchanged a knowing grin.

“Yeah, we'd better go,” Harry said. He observed the large crowd of excited families spread across the grounds, feeling a twitch of envy. He caught a glimpse of a lone blonde girl among the crowd.

“Ladies and gentleman,” Hooch announced in a booming voice. “In celebration of Hogwarts first Family Day, we have prepared a demonstration of one of the unique wonders of the wizarding world : the broom flight. We hope those non-magical among us this afternoon will enjoy what may be their first time witnessing this ancient tradition of our people.” Amidst scattered applause, the eight students began their choreographed flight. Harry enjoyed this much better than the run throughs as he heard the audience gasp and applaud as he swooped in low above their heads, giving a sharp turn and going straight up into the sky. They were nearly through the five minute flight, when Harry heard screams from below. He looked down from his dizzying height and caught a glimpse of two bodies hurtling toward the ground. He dove, reaching a small blocked off circle set for their landing, and rushed over to Ginny Weasley, who was standing nearby, craning her neck for a view of the fallen students.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I'm not sure. Most of us were watching you, and Malfoy and Cho Chang must have collided,” she said. Harry heard several muggle parents muttering about how unsafe broom flying was, and how they weren't so sure they wanted their children doing such a thing, as he made his way through the crowd.

Poppy Pomfrey and Hooch were standing over the two, who were lying on the ground. He saw Luna run to Madame Pomfrey and whisper in her ear. Hooch faced the crowd.

“If everyone will stand aside, we'll be taking these two to the infirmary tent. They appear to be fine, if a bit shaken. Luckily someone had enough quick thinking to spongify the ground before they hit it. I will be at a booth all day to answer your questions about broom flight, and collecting signatures from those of you interested in possibly attending one of our Quidditch matches later in the year,” she announced.

“Shouldn't be hard for us this year,” Ron said, shaking his head. “Not if Slytherin and Ravenclaw are both short a seeker.” Luna joined them, as Pomfrey used a levitation charm to move the injured students.

“I told Madam Pomfrey how to cure Draco's malaclaw bite, anyway,” Luna said. “I don't think it bit Cho though,” she added thoughtfully.

“It was actually Cho that ran into Malfoy. She must have been his bad luck,” Neville said, who had overheard them.

“I'm glad you're not a good enough flyer to have been in on this,” snipped an unpleasant old woman Harry identified as Neville's gran.

“Yes, it is a good thing Neville wasn't up there, actually,” Luna said to the startled old woman. “Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to cast that spongify spell.” Several people turned to look at Neville upon hearing Luna's words.

“You cast that spell, Neville?” Ginny asked. Neville nodded, turning red.

“It's no big deal,” he muttered, looking at the ground. Ginny grabbed him by the arm.

“You're a hero, Neville! Come on! Let's go tell McGonagall and get some extra points for Gryffindor!” she cried merrily, dragging the reluctant boy along. The crowd was slowly calming and making their way to the booths and rides around the grounds, leaving Harry and Luna alone. He felt nervous, getting his first good look at her that day. Gone were the formal robes and school uniform. She now wore a white muslin dress that ended just above her knees, and canary yellow ballet flats with satin ribbons that laced about her ankles. He saw the transfigured daisies now, in state of petrification that made them appear to made of glossy ceramic, woven into braided plaits which crowned the unbound half of her long hair.

“Um -- hi,” he said, as she stared back at him.

“Hello, Harry,” she said, seemingly oblivious to the awkwardness he felt.

“So -- er, shall we go look around then?” he asked. She nodded, and they walked towards the booths, which were mostly run by house elves.

“I'm selling very pretty flowers, Miss,” one of them said timidly as they neared his booth. Luna inspected the bouquets carefully, and selected an arrangement of blue and gold cosmos.

“Yes, I think I'll take these,” she said, dropping a coin drawn from a small velvet pouch into the elf's tiny hand. She and Harry continued on, Harry blushing slightly as he realized the extra attention drawn by the spectacle of Luna's conspicuous flower arrangement. Pansy Parkinson pointed them out to a pair of Slytherin girls by her side, and they giggled.

“Look! Potty bought Loony some flowers! How pwecious!” she said and pretended to gag.

“They're quite stupid, you know,” Luna said to Harry, who couldn't help but smile. He looked at her with surprise, as she led him into a red and white striped tent. There were two cots there, which Draco and Cho each occupied, their families and Madam Pomfrey fussing over them. A lovely Chinese lady in red silk robes stood by Cho, and smiled at them as they entered. Marietta Edgecomb was also there and she and Harry ignored each other.

“Hey Cho. Are you okay? That was a nasty fall,” Luna said, laying the flowers in her lap. Cho sat up slightly, gazing at Luna in wonder.

“Yeah, I'm okay, I think. I bruised a rib though, so I might have to miss the first game next week,” she said with a grimace. There was a bandaged cut on her forehead.

“Oh, you and Harry match now,” Luna said with a laugh, looking from it to Harry's scar. Cho gazed at Harry shyly and smiled.

“I'm glad you're all right,” Harry said.

“Thanks. Both of you,” she said, giving them each a sincere look. Luna glanced over to Draco, where Narcissa was petting him and whispering in to his ear.

“Is Draco okay?” she asked Madam Pomfrey.

“Right as rain. His luck is improving,” she said with a wink.

Luna and Harry stepped from the tent into the pleasant fall breeze.

“I didn't know you and Cho were friends,” Harry said. Luna shrugged.

“We're not really, you know. She's just in my house,” Luna said. Harry frowned.

“Doesn't she ever take up for you when the others pick on you?” he asked. Luna shook her head.

“Ravenclaws are known for intelligence, not bravery,” she said with a sigh. “She's quite popular, you know. I think such things affect one's priorities. I don't want anyone to have any trouble on my account anyway.” Harry clenched his fists at his sides, feeling angry.

“That's no excuse. She didn't deserve your flowers if she doesn't treat you well,” he muttered.

“Oh, but she doesn't treat me unwell,” Luna said dismissively. “My father always says we should treat people better than they do us, you know.”

“Well forgive me if next time I see Voldemort I don't bake him brownies,” Harry said. Luna laughed loudly.

“You're funny, Harry,” she said.

“Didn't you used to fancy Cho?” she asked, looking at him with unblinking eyes.

“Stress on the used to part,” Harry muttered. Luna shrugged.

“She's not your type anyway, actually. She has a good heart I think but she's definitely in group C for me,” she said, twisting a lock of loose hair around her finger.

“Group C?” Harry asked.

“Yes. It's a way I categorize people I meet. Group C are the kind of people who only talk to me when no one else is around,” she said. Harry laughed.

“And the other groups?” he asked. Luna's eyes gazed upward thoughtfully.

“Well, there's group B. People like Malfoy, you know, who are always nasty to me for no reason. Most of those types are girls, really. They're always the meanest, it seems,” she said.

“I usually categorize Malfoy as a girl myself,” Harry said, making Luna giggle.

“There's group D, for those who just act like I don't exist,” she said, as they reached the carousel.

“Is there a group A?” Harry asked.

“Oh, yes but it's the smallest. It's for people who are brave enough to be kind to me no matter who is around. You're in that group, Harry,” she said. Harry shrugged, feeling embarrassed.

“I don't think I deserve any praise for acting like any decent person should,” he said.

“Oh, but there's few who do, you know,” she said sadly. “Look at how they turned on you last year.” Harry smiled bitterly.

“It's what the muggles call fair weather friends,” he said.

They watched the painted animals of the carousel revolve to piped music that was eerily both cheerful and mournful at the same time. Harry marveled at the vast arrangement of creatures the muggle wooden horses had been transfigured into. They joined a short queue just as the merry go round stopped, and filed into the gated circle. Harry followed Luna, as she thoughtfully observed her choices, at last helping her mount a green kelpie in its traditional horse form. He took the miniature Chinese Fireball dragon beside her as the platform began to turn.

“My mum was Irish, you know,” Luna said, as their mounts began to move slowly up and down. “She used to sing me a song about a woman who had been tricked into riding a kelpie. It was in horsie form and promised to take her across the lake where her sweetheart waited for her, but dove to the bottom instead,” she said, the wind sweeping her hair back.

“Couldn't she swim?” Harry asked with a grin. Luna gave him a condescending look.

“You can't dismount a diving kelpie, Harry,” she said. The horse and dragon rocked back and forth, the revolving platform giving him the sensation of galloping along on the beast. He watched the fair ground go by. Luna laughed with joy, clutching the brass pole and leaning forward like a jockey.

“That was pretty fun,” Harry said when the ride was through. “What do you want to do now?” Luna screwed up her face in thought, looking around.

“What about those?” Luna asked, pointing at the lake, where the students were peddling large swan boats

“Um -- sure,” Harry said, thinking they looked a bit dodgy, but not entirely surprised that Luna like them. Hagrid stood by the dock where the boats left, waving at them as they approached.

“ 'ello there 'arry. And if it isn't little Luna. I 'eard you did an impressive turn on my malaclaw,” he said. Luna beamed.

“So how is the little fellow?” Harry asked. Hagrid shook his head.

“After 'e got free I 'ad ter send 'im back to Leeds,” he said sadly. Harry looked at Luna, who didn't seemed at all surprised by this revelation.