Harry Potter and the Loathsome Lobster of Leeds

Ron greeted him in the common room when he descended the stairs the next morning.

“I've got good news and bad news, mate,” he said, holding his broom across his shoulder.

“We get to skip out on divination class today, but we've got to meet on the Quidditch pitch,” he said.

“What's going on?” Harry asked, wondering how Quidditch could be bad news.

“Hooch wants us to put on some sort of broomstick demonstration for the muggles,” Ron said, rolling his eyes.

“She picked two players from each team. We're the lucky Gryffindors.”

“We've only got one day. What is she planning?” Harry asked. Ron shrugged.

“Nothing too elaborate, I'll venture. I think the muggles will find it impressive enough that we can fly to begin with,” he said.

“What about the carnival? Will you still get to spend time with your family?” Harry asked, remembering he'd told Luna he'd spend time with her.

“We'll probably only miss the first half hour or something,” Ron said.

The practice for the presentation was pretty dull, and the boys were glad to be away from Hooch's whistles and hoarse cries after several hours.

“I never thought I'd rather be in class than on a broom,” Ron said as they left the stadium and followed the winding dirt path back to the school. Along the way, they encountered Luna Lovegood, picking daisies in a field.

“Hello there, Harry and Ronald,” she said airily, stuffing the flowers in a little felt sack.

“Um, hey, Luna,” Ron said, giving Harry a glance that he ignored.

“Why are you flying? I thought sixth years were in class now,”she asked.

“Why are you picking flowers?” Ron asked with a shrug.

“Oh, I'm using them in a transfiguration project, actually,” she said.

“We have to do a flying presentation first thing on Family Day,” Harry said. “ I was hoping I would run into you today so I could tell you.” Luna nodded calmly.

“That's okay,” she said.

“It'll only be for a little while though,” Harry added quickly. Luna smiled.

“ Oh, good. We can still ride the carousel then,” she said, turning back to the flowers.

Ron looked at him in amazement as they walked away.

“You have a date with Luna Lovegood?” he asked, dumbfounded. Harry colored slightly.

“Um -- no, not a date. I just thought since we won't be having anyone visiting us we'd just sort of hang out,” he said, inspecting the ground. It wasn't ashamed that someone would think he was dating Luna, it was just awkward and embarrassing, like when people saw him with Cho. And besides, he thought to himself, it would be pretty presumptuous on his part to announce it as a date when he wasn't sure if Luna saw it that way either. Ron laughed.

“Well whatever mate. It's your funeral. You'll probably get an earfull of tabloid stories,” he said. Harry shrugged.

“Luna's interesting when you actually listen to her,” he said. Ron shook his head.

“Think of Draco and them, though. You'll never be able to live it down. I mean, she has to be the least popular girl in school,” he said.

“I'd say she's more like the least understood,” Harry said quietly. Hermione met them as they reached the carnival grounds.

“Hey Hermione. What are you doing out here?” Harry asked, relieved for the interruption.

“Um -- looking for you two?” she said distractedly. Ron and Harry exchanged skeptical glances.

“What are you really up to?” Ron asked, his eyes narrowing.

“What makes you think I'm up to something?” she asked defensively. “Honestly, must I expect the Spanish Inquisition just because I went for a walk?” Fred and George walked up, Fred creeping up behind Hermione and grabbing her by the shoulders.

“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!” Fred yelled.

“You're crazy, Fred!” she squealed, wheeling around to face him and punching him in the chest playfully.

“Hey guys, you'll never believe this. Harry's got a date with Luna Lovegood to the carnival,” Ron announced, getting a nasty glare from Harry.

“No!” Hermione gasped. Fred winked at him and grinned.

“Oh, so that's why you were seeking her out in the dead of night last night,” Fred said. Ron and Hermione turned to face Harry, who was blushing deeply.

“Last night? Did you sneak out after curfew?” Hermione asked disapprovingly.

“Sorry, Harry. Didn't mean to rat you out to the ickle prefects,” Fred said, rubbing Hermione on the head, who slapped his hand away.

“It's not a date, though,” Harry stammered. Draco Malfoy and Theodore Knott were returning from the Quidditch pitch.

“Well, well, well, this is interesting,” Draco drawled as he came upon them. “Harry Potter and Loony Lovegood. What a perfect match of wits. Your mudblood girlfriend jealous?”

Draco was knocked off his feet in a blur of movement, which came in the form of a blow from Fred Weasley, whom everyone looked at with surprise.

“I'll thank you not to call the ladies names, Malfoy,” he said, his usual casual demeanor replaced by one of anger. “I'm not a student anymore, you death eating brat, so just try me.”

“Fred, calm down. He's not worth it,” Hermione said, laying her hand on his arm. Draco rubbed his jaw and stood.

“You'll regret that, Weasley,” he muttered, walking away. George laughed.

“Do you regret that, Fred?” he asked, watching Draco with amusement.

“No, I can't say that I do,” Fred said, after pretending to have given it a great deal of thought.

***

Draco Malfoy saw to it that most of the school were talking about Harry and Luna by dinner time. Harry tried to ignore the giggles and whispers as he made his way to the Gryffindor table. No sooner had he begun to eat his shepherd's pie. than the Slytherin table broke out singing “Potty and Loony sitting in a tree...”.

“Oh, very mature,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes. “What are they? Twelve?” Harry slumped in his seat, wishing he could disappear. He risked a glance at the Ravenclaw table. Luna was waving her spoon absently in time to the crudely sung tune while poring over a magazine spread before her on the table.

He was suddenly distracted by a scream from the Slytherin table. Disturbed and amused to locate the source of the girlish screech as Draco Malfoy, he stood, along with the others dining in the hall, to see what the commotion was. Craning his neck to see beyond Hermione's bushy curls, he caught a glimpse of a grayish creature scuttling around the feet of the panicked Slytherins. He was soon startled by a hand on his shoulder, and turned to find Fred Weasley behind him.

“Hope you don't mind my borrowing your invisibility cloak, Harry,”he said, admiring the chaos he'd created with a grin.

“Thought that might shut them up,” he said, and ducked from the hall before anyone but he and Ron had noticed him.

“Did Fred do what I think he's done?” Ron asked uneasily. People were standing on their seats, either trying to get a better view or avoid the unleashed beast. Harry made out Luna's dirty blonde mane between the students, and ran around the table to see what was going on.

“Everyone calm yourselves!” McGonagall cried from somewhere at the front of the room as he went. Most of the voices quieted as he came within sight of the Slytherin table. The mackaled malaclaw was cowering in a corner, its antennae extended to sense potential danger. Luna was crouched before it, speaking to it in a soothing voice. The malaclaw seemed to grow calmer, and took a cautious step towards her. Snape crept between the students carefully, then hurriedly brought a cage down over the confused creature. McGonagall stepped through the crowd behind him and gave a sigh of relief.

“Good work, Miss Lovegood. Ten points to Ravenclaw,” she said, as Snape enclosed the malaclaw and carried it away. Everyone looked around in confusion.

“Return to your seats, everyone. I believe our uninvited guest has taken his leave,” Dumbldore called from the head table. Harry saw Draco limping away with Madame Pomfrey as he went back to where he'd been sitting.

“Does anyone have any idea how a mackled malaclaw came to be in the dining hall?” McGonagall inquired when everyone was seated. Harry and Ron exchanged glances.

“Very well, then,” she said irritably. “If anyone decides to come forward, please inform a member of the faculty promptly, and we'll handle the matter discreetly.”

Harry glanced at where Luna had been sitting, and saw that she was no longer there.

“Well, that's enough excitement for one meal,” he said, rising. “I think I'll get some fresh air or something.” Ron and Hermione exchanged knowing looks, to Harry's annoyance.

Harry walked outside onto the grounds and made for the one place he was sure he would find Luna.

Harry sat beside Luna on the edge of the lake, listening to the waves made by the writhing squid lap against the shore.

“Why does he get so worked up when you're down here?” Harry asked, watching the squid's strange dance.

“Well, sometimes I talk to it. Most people don't know he's just trying to be friendly. I think it must be lonesome, being misunderstood, you know,” she said, her chin resting on her upward drawn knees.

“Don't I know it,” Harry said with a sigh, remembering everyone's reactions to the bad press he'd gotten over the past two years.

“You don't have to spend time with me, Harry. I'm well enough on my own, you know. You should be with your friends,” she said, fixing him with her wide gray eyes.

“You're my friend, too,” Harry said. Luna gave him a dreamy smile.

“Thanks for that. You don't have to be seen with me though, you know. If you don't want to talk to me around the others, I'll still know we're friends, in here,” she said, placing her hand on her chest. He studied her serene, smiling face.

“I'm not going to let a bunch of gits like those Slytherins tell me who I can be friends with, Luna. i want to go to the carnival with you tomorrow, okay?” he said.

“Okay,” Luna said. They were silent for a moment.

“Do you think the mackled malaclaw is okay?” Harry asked.

“Well, I don't think Snape was going to cook him for dinner or anything, you know,” Luna said. Harry laughed in surprise, not sure if she were being sarcastic or not.

“Is Malfoy going to have bad luck for a week? I think it bit him,” he asked.

“Oh, no, he'll be okay. There's a cure, you know,” she said. “I'm still deciding whether or not to share it. Madame Pomphrey may know about it, but I doubt she reads The Quibbler somehow.” Harry shook his head.

“That's brilliant,” he said, laughing harder. It was the first time he'd had a good laugh in a while.

“Walk you back to the castle?” he asked. “Dinner is probably through by now.” Luna nodded.

They walked back across the grounds, when they heard yelling from behind one of the carnival booths. Harry peeked around it curiously and saw Fred and Hermione.

“Aw, c'mon, Hermy. You must admit it was funny hearing Malfoy scream like a little girl in there,” Fred said to her pleadingly. Hermione crossed her arms defiantly.

“You're so irresponsible, Fred. I mean, honestly, someone might have been seriously injured,” she said.

“By a mackled malaclaw? Only a wuss like Malfoy would have a problem defending himself against an overgrown crustacean,” he said with a laugh. Hermione frowned.

“Well, Dumbledore still might ask you to leave. Then we won't see each other again until next Hogsmeade weekend,” she said. Harry glanced at Luna, who was following this with a detached air like she were watching a television program.

“I'll just tell him George did it,” he said. Hermione laughed despite herself. Fred put his arms around her and kissed her. Harry pulled back uncomfortably.

“I wish I hadn't seen that,” Harry said as he and Luna continued towards the school.

“Oh, well I had a pretty good idea it was Fred who let the mackled malaclaw loose,” she said.

“No, not that. I meant -- never mind,” Harry said with a sigh. They soon reached the stairs, their dorms lying in opposite directions.

“I'll see you tomorrow then,” Harry said. Luna smiled sweetly, and nodded.

“Don't let the doxies bite,” she said dreamily and went towards the Ravenclaw dorms. Harry watched her until she was out of sight before turning to go to Gryffindor Tower.