Bad Timing

Chapter Summary: Lily Evans and Remus Lupin meet in the prefects' bathroom and get into a discussion about various forms of monthly ailments.

Author's Notes Before Fic: This was written a while ago for someone on my Livejournal friends list. Strangely, all of the females who have read it seemed to have related to it...

And while this isn't a ship fic as such, feel free to read Remus/Lily into it ;-)

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Lily's limbs groaned as she walked across the room towards her towel. Less than five seconds out of a hot shower, and every muscle in her body already felt as though it was being squeezed by a vice. The tiles beneath her footsteps felt too cold, too unforgiving. Moaning aloud this time, she wrapped the scarlet towel around herself and sunk onto the seat above which her possessions hung. And to make matters worse, this afternoon she was due to have her first date with James Potter. For neither the first nor the last time, she wondered what had made her agree to go to Madam Puddifoot's with that prat who was too busy carrying on a love affair with himself to pay attention to any girl.

Mm, it could have had something to do with the fact that at the time Sirius Black was emerging bare-chested from the Quidditch ground, and she was too preoccupied to do more than nod distractedly in response to James' question, perhaps? Sirius was rather defined for a high school boy, and the way the sunlight had rippled off his abs...

A sharp stab of pain knifed through her own stomach and she hissed. The movement of reaching for her comb had caused a twinge, well, more than a twinge of discomfort in her aching body. Maybe she would have time to go and see Madame Pomfrey before her first class, Potions. Although she didn't think Professor Slughorn would mind if she was late, her being a clear favourite of his. Not that she usually played that card, but right now she was in perfect agony. The things girls had to go through. Least of all dates with James Potter. Yes, she would have time to get there. If she could just get herself off this bench...

"Lily?" A figure appeared silhouetted in the doorway. A male figure. Absolutely bloody perfect. Just what she needed. "Lily, are you alright? You look very pale."

"I'm fine," she replied through gritted teeth. "I just need to sit down for a minute, that's all." She thought she had charmed the door so that no one else could come in. Really, what genius had come up with the idea of a co-ed prefect bathroom? Probably Salazar Slytherin, he was meant to be a randy old git.

"You look like you need to do more than sit down," her fellow Gryffindor said, perching on the bench next to her. "And you shouldn't be sitting around in your towel like that." A cloak was draped around her. "It's still pretty cold in the mornings."

"Yeah, well I wasn't expecting someone to just wander in," Lily snapped, then regretted the brief look of hurt that crossed the boy's face. "I'm sorry, Remus. I'm just not feeling very well, that's all."

"I can see that," Remus said conversationally, drawing the cloak closer around her shivering form. Lily resigned herself to having to talk with him for at least the next while. Oh well. If she had to natter with one of those four nitwits who caused so much trouble for her and the teachers, Remus Lupin was clearly the best choice. "Is it that new Trollpox virus going around? Several of the first years have it."

"It is not Trollpox, nor is it Hinkycough, nor anything else that you are in danger of catching - thank you very much for your concern," Lily retorted, easing a very stiff arm around to massage her lower back. The only thing he was in danger of catching was a black eye, for no better reason than his being male. "Really, I'll be fine if you just leave me alone."

"Well, whatever you've caught, it certainly isn't a charitable nature," Remus muttered. Lily swung her head around to glower at him. "Look, if you don't tell me what's wrong with you, I won't be able to help, will I?"

"You couldn't possibly understand."

"Try me."

"Fine, but then you'll go all male on me. Remus James Lupin, as if going on a date later today with your twit of a best friend wasn't bad enough, I am currently experiencing the first day of my period." Remus's eyes widened. "See, I said you wouldn't understand."

"You'd be surprised," Remus said dryly.

"I knew you'd be like this." Lily slumped back in the seat and folded her arms across her chest crossly. "All this false sympathy when you have no idea what I'm going through. How could you possibly understand what it's like to wake up feeling as though you've run a marathon only to pelted by hundreds of Bludgers and like you're living in a crazy, manic-depressive's body and have no control over your thoughts or behaviour or emotions?"

"Ask me again at full moon, and I'll give you a very accurate response," Remus shrugged.

Lily gave him an irritated look. "What are you ranting on about? You're talking like a crazy person. I have PMT - what's your excuse?"

"I'm a werewolf," Remus said simply.

"Come off it," Lily shot back.

"I'm serious." Remus surveyed her unblinkingly. "You may have overheard James and Sirius talking about my "furry little problem." Well, that's it." Lily continued to shake her head. "And you may have noticed how I've been sick every full moon. Well, again, that's it."

"You're pulling my leg," Lily said.

"I can assure you that I'm not, both literally and figuratively," Remus told her. Lily's eyes widened. "So no matter how monstrous you and every other girl get around your times of the month, I promise you that they're nowhere near as bad as mine. You don't scare me." Lily continued to stare open-mouthed at him. "You can scream anytime from now."

"No, no, I'm not going to scream," Lily assured him. "It's just a bit - surprising - that's all. So Dumbledore knows?" Remus nodded. "Well, if he thinks you're safe enough to let into the school, that's good enough for me."

"I don't actually stay here during the full moon," Remus explained softly. "I go away...there's a secret tunnel in the school that leads to a boarded up house in Hogsmeades where I stay until it's passed."

"The Shrieking Shack? Well, don't tell James about it. After the way I'm sure to behave tonight, he'll probably want to send me off there during my little monthly problem."

"I'm sure he won't," Remus said. "He does know about mine after all. Believe me, he's had a lot of practice dealing with hormonal things."

"I guess yours definitely puts mine into perspective," Lily said.

"Definitely," Remus agreed. The two sat for a moment or so in silence. "You are taking this quite well, you know."

"I'm Muggleborn, remember? We haven't had lifetimes to build up prejudices against people who are slightly different, like the purebloods have. Plus I'm well-aware that you're only dangerous around full moon and that the rest of the time you're perfectly safe - well, as safe as a sex-crazed teenaged boy can be," she amended herself. "I do know something about it; I did get the second highest mark on that essay about werewolves, after all. I wonder who got the highest." Remus smirked. "Alright, dumb question. So James and Sirius know about the whole thing? Wow, that really makes me think differently of them."

"They're not so bad once you get to know them," Remus agreed. "Although James still hasn't figured out how to behave around girls - he gets a bit stupid with them. He sees one he likes and then-"

"-Acts like a complete twat?" Lily concluded. Remus chuckled. "No, I think James is going to be fine. He did have enough good sense to ask me out on a date, so I think that makes him somewhat redeemable."

"Absolutely," Remus agreed, his peculiar amber-coloured eyes twinkling. "So, what are we going to do about you?"

"Oh, with a cup of tea and a hot water bottle, I'll be fine," Lily said. "You're still here. Why are you still here? Aren't you afraid that I'm going to bite you or something?"

"Strangely, no." Remus grinned wolfishly and shifted closer to her. "And now that you're going to be dating my friend James, what do you say about getting that cup of tea together in Hogsmeades sometime?"

The End

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Author's Notes After Fic: If you enjoyed this, please comment and tell me what you thought of it. If you didn't, well, all the more reason to do so!