Harry Potter and the Adventure He Affectionately Calls Life

Professor Fiora passed by them just then. "And what reason do you have to celebrate?" she asked the group. "I doubt it's your marks in my class."

"It's not," Draco said. "In fact, it doesn't affect you at all, so you may as well just leave."

"Mr. Malfoy, you will serve detention tomorrow night for that comment."

Harry bit on his bottom lip to keep from laughing.

"You think that's funny, Mr. Potter?"

Fiora grabbed him by his untidy black hair. "I can spot a liar a mile away, you fool," she said to him. "You will be joining Mr. Malfoy in detention tomorrow night."

"But that's not fair!" Lana protested. "Harry didn't do anything wrong!"

"Oh shut up," Fiora spat. "This is just so you and your darling Boy-Who-Lived can spend some time together. You can join them as well. Many hands make light work. And the littlest Weasley, you may as well join the crew."

"Oh, joy," Ginny said sarcastically. "A party."

"Do not speak sarcastically with me,iora warned. "I do not take to it lightly. Your brother and his girlfriend will also join you tomorrow. If I am lucky, I can be rid of the whole lot of you. I'll see to it that Argus has a nice job for you." She smiled angellically at the four of them and walked towards the staff table.

"I hate that woman," Draco grumbled.

"Join the club," Lana said.

"Why can't we have a good professor?"

"Like Snape?"

"Like Umbridge!" Draco said, getting excited. "I liked her."

"Surprise, surprise, Draco," Hermione said. She sat down.

Professor Fiora popped back into the conversation. "To show you all that I am not entirely a mean and heartless bitch, I will excuse Miss Granger from detention on account of her memory loss."

Before anyone could object, Hermione smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Professor. Hopefully I'll be better soon."

"Whatever," the professor muttered and headed back.

"You got out of detention!" Lana said in awe. "I have to owl George and Fred about this." She got up and huffily left the table, Harry following behind her.

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Harry and Lana were quite occupied on one of the plush sofas in the Gryffindor Common Room. Ron and Hermione were quite occupied on another one of the plush sofas. Ginny sat on an arm chair by herself rolling her eyes at her brother and her cousin.

"Hey, Romeo!" she hollered at her brother. "Juliet." Ron looked up briefly. "And the other set over there!" Lana glared at her. "Don't forget we all have detention tonight."

Hermione smiled sweetly. "This Juliet doesn't have detention," she said angelically. "But you can all have fun while I get some studies done."

Ron groaned. "Not fair," he said. "How come you get all the luck?" he asked, gently holding Hermione's head against his chest.

Hermione giggled. "I love you, Ronnie," she said.

"Don't call me that," he said, kissing her hair.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Get a room, you two. At least Harry and Lana are..." she looked over at them. "Well, never mind."

Ron chuckled.

"There's always Draco, I guess," Ginny said, more to herself than to anyone else.

"No!" Ron said sharply, causing Lana to jump and Harry to look confused.

"'No' what?" Harry asked.

"No Ginny and Malfoy."

"Oh. Yeah, no."

Ginny's draw dropped. "Harry!"

"Don't take that tone of voice with me, young lady," Harry said in a very brotherly manner.

Ron nodded his thanks at his best friend, then continued. "Draco Malfoy is nothing but trouble."

"But he's a great kisser," Ginny grumbled.

Ron winced. "Didn't need to hear that."

"And could you guys please stop making out in front of me? Geez, it's so nauseating."

"Sorry," Ron said, turning bright pink.

"I mean, honestly!" Ginny continued.

" asked, coming down the stairs. He saw Harry, Lana, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny in the common room. "Oh. A party."

"Neville!" Ginny got up and ran to him, her hair flowing behind her. "Neville, will you do me a favor?" She glanced up and him innocently.

"Sure, Ginny. What's up?"

Ginny stood up on her tip toes and kissed him passionately. Neville was obviously taken by surprise at this. "Thanks, Nev," she said, grinning at him and kissing his cheek.

Ron and Harry stared at her in shock.

"There now," Ginny said. "That's what I have to watch you do all the time."

"Oh come on," Draco drawled from the entrance to the common room. "Surely watching Potter and Weasley with their lovely ladies-" he paused here to kiss Lana and Hermione's hand. "Is far more entertaining than watching the littlest Weasley get it on with a fat nothing like Longbottom."

Neville's face grew tight. "What are you doing here, Malfoy?" he asked.

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing. The Hufflepuff common room is over there, I believe." He nodded his head in the direction of the exit.

"Oh, shut up, Malfoy," Neville said, losing his temper and punching Draco in the face.

Draco staggered back, shocked that someone like Neville would ever do such a thing. "Why you filthy little... I'll kilut his wand.

"Draco! No!" Ginny ran to get the wand away from him.

"Move out of the way, Weasley," he growled, glaring bloody murder at Neville, who looked very scared.

"Draco, what the hell is wrong with you?" Lana asked, coming over to help Ginny.

"What's the matter, Longbottom?" Draco sneered. "You can't fight for yourself?"

"No," Neville responded. "I can't."

"What's that?" Draco asked, pretending he couldn't hear. "You need two Weasley's to help you out?"

"Yes. Are you happy now, Malfoy?"

Draco shook free of the grip Ginny and Lana held on him. "Extremely." He walked over to Neville and they circled each other.

"Malfoy..." Harry warned. "Malfoy, don't."

"Get out of here, Longbottom," Draco said. "I have some business with the Fab Five."

Neville looked at Harry and Ron in confusion, but they both shrugged. Neville shrugged as well and left.

"Draco, what the hell was that?" Ginny demanded.

"I don't know," Draco said with a casual shrug. "I just felt like it."

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Hermione accompanied the others to detention that evening. Professor Fiora informed them that they would be split into pairs. Hermione was almost positive that she would make their detentions even more miserable, but she was surprised.

"You'll find that after meals, I'm not quite as bitchy as usual. Potter and American Cousin, you two will work together. Malfoy and Virginia, you two will work together. And Weasley and Granger." She paused. "Wait, I believe I excused Miss Granger from detention this evening."

"Yes you did, Professor," Hermione said, trying to keep from grinning.

"Very well. Ronald, you will work with me."

Ron paled visibly, and Draco burst out laughing.

"Unless you'd rather work with me instead, Mr. Malfoy?" Fiora asked, daring him to respond.

"No, ma'am. Thanks, though."

"Very well. Potter, you and Lana will be scrubbing the room until it shines."

"That's not too bad," Lana said optimistically.

"With these," the Defense professor added, handing Harry and Lana two toothbrushes each.

"Never mind," Lana grumbled. "This sucks."

"Malfoy and Miss Weasley, you two will be cleaning half of the dungeons. Please scrub it as best you can, and make sure you remove whatever body parts may be dangling around."

"That's gross," Ginny said.

"It's detention," Fiora reminded them. "If it was supposed to be enjoyable, you wouldn't be here." She turnedsley, I simply cannot waste my time with you. I have other things to do tonight. Argus Filch is currently in his bedchamber removing some things. When he is finished, you can clean up his room for him."

"Is that all?" Ron asked, his face fully joyful from not having to work with the professor.

"No. Argus injured his arm. It is improper for me to aid him, my being a lady of high breeding and all. You will give Argus a sponge bath later."