There'll Be Bluebirds

'Is she very angry at me?' Teddy asked Harry, as he stuffed his clothes into his bag.

Harry looked at his godson. 'Which "she" are you talking about? There're two in this house alone...'

'Gran...'

Harry sighed and sat on the edge of Teddy's unmade bed. 'You owe her an apology, Ted,' Harry said firmly.

'I know.' Teddy kept his eyes glued to the textbook he crammed on top of his freshly-laundered socks.

'It doesn't matter how angry you were, you do not have the right to speak to your grandmother in that way,' Harry told him. 'Nor Ginny and me,' he added hastily.

Teddy's shoulders hunched. It was as harsh a scolding as he ever got from Harry - the quiet, oh-so-disappointed tone of voice that sent waves of guilt crashing over him. He wondered for a moment how Harry managed to do that. It usually sent the little ones into paroxysms of wailing. 'So I was supposed to calmly say, "Oh, by the way, Gran, I found these journals my father left for me to read. I hope they weren't meant to be one of my birthday gifts for when I come of age, because I've spoiled the surprise,"?' he drawled sarcastically.

'Something like that, yes,' Harry said. 'But lose the attitude, eh?' He ruffled Teddy's hair and stood up. 'I know how hard it is to be told "it's for your own good" or "we were only trying to protect you" all the bloody time. I just want you to be able to still look up to your dad when you're done.'

Teddy looked at Harry strangely. 'That's what Ginny said.' His gaze dropped to the battered leather-bound book on the bed next to his bag. 'Was Dad not right in the head or something?'

'No. Remus was perfectly sane,' Harry told him. 'With the small exception of turning into a werewolf once a month...'

'That's enough to send anyone out of their tree,' Teddy muttered.

Harry fingered the worn cover of the journal. 'Are you taking them with you to school?'

Teddy shook his head emphatically. 'No. Don't want them to get lost or anything. And if I read them here, at least I can come ask about what Dad says.' He tucked the journal into his bag and slung it over his shoulder, staggering a little at the extra weight of his new textbooks. He didn't add there were still other students who tended to view him with more than a little suspicion, and even his personal things couldn't be guaranteed of their safety. If he had the journals with him at school, Teddy might as well have waved a red banner in front of a raging bull.

He walked out of his bedroom, turning slightly sideways so the narrow staircase could accommodate his bag, and made his way down to the sitting room.

*****

Remus walked at the end of the line of Weasleys and Hermione, keeping a watchful eye on everything around them. Harry lagged behind a little to walk next to him. He seemed to have something he wanted to say, with the way his mouth opened slightly, then closed, lips pressed together, shaking his head slightly. 'What is it, cub?' Remus said softly, his own voice muffled by the gently falling snow.

'How well did you know Neville's mum and dad?' Harry asked hesitantly. 'I mean, I know they were in the Order before. They were in that photograph Mad-Eye showed me before school.'

'Frank was four years ahead of your dad, Sirius, and me and Alice was two years ahead of us.' Remus could picture the Longbottoms as they were when Neville was born. 'When Frank or James had to go do something for the Order, Alice or Lily would go stay with each other before you and Neville were born.' Remus chuckled a little. 'They spent so much time together, none of us were surprised when you were born just a few hours after Neville.' He glanced at Harry. 'Why do you ask?'

Harry's shoes scuffed on the sidewalk, kicking up clumps of heavy, wet snow. 'We saw them today. Me, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny.'

'Aren't they in the Sp--'

'Spell Damage ward,' Harry finished. 'Yeah. We were going up to the tearoom, and ran into Professor Lockhart. He'd gotten out, you see, and his Healer thought we were there to visit him. Neville was walking out with his grandmother, just after we got there.'

'That's not the only thing on your mind, is it, cub?'

Harry mutely shook his head. 'I almost envy him,' he admitted.

'Why?' Remus was startled. He had occasionally visited Frank and Alice in the past, but it became increasingly painful to watch them rapidly deteriorate as the first years passed. He had often thought it might have been better to let them die.

'They're alive, aren't they?' Harry said, a note of challenge in his voice.

'Well, yes, but...'

'I know they recognize him,' Harry interrupted. 'I know they do,' he said fiercely. Remus didn't feel up to arguing with Harry at the moment, so he made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. 'His mum wanted to give him something before he left. She does it every time, his grandmother said. So that means she has to know who Neville is, doesn't it?' he said in a desperate rush.

The anguished hope on Harry's face made Remus want to gather the boy into a hug, like the one he thought James would have given him, had James been here to have this discussion with Harry. Instead, he patted Harry's back and said, 'Okay, Harry. Sure.'

'And anyway,' Harry added. 'At least they're here...' He exhaled strongly through his nose. 'But his grandmother...' He shuddered delicately.

'Augusta Longbottom is a piece of work, isn't she?' Remus said lightly.

'Did your grandmother ever insult you in front of your friends?' Harry asked sarcastically. 'He's a good boy,' he mimicked. 'But hasn't got his father's talent, I'm afraid...' He shook his head. 'Bloody hell; no wonder he thinks he's rubbish at magic...' A determined light settled into Harry's eyes. 'I'll see to it that Nev gets an Exceeds Expectations - at the very least! - on his O.W.L. Even if it kills me.'

The forbidding exterior of number twelve came into view and Harry sprinted for the door, as Molly called out to them with a promise of hot chocolate and biscuits. It brought an unbidden smile to Remus' face at the somewhat comforting idea that Harry still had enough of a child inside him to be gleeful at the promise of biscuits and hot chocolate.

*****

'So, Sirius says you're addicted to chocolate?' Tonks said brightly. 'I don't think I've ever met a man who'll admit to something like that,' she added, taking a chunk from one of the large bars of Honeydukes' chocolate that littered one end of the kitchen table. It was late on Christmas Day, or early on Boxing Day, depending on which way they wanted to look at it, and everyone else in the house was asleep.

'If it had chocolate in it, Moony here would eat it,' Sirius informed his younger cousin. 'Someone had a tin of chocolate-covered crickets some relation sent as a gift, and the left it out in the common room, and Remus was studying and ate every last one of the things. Didn't even comment on the crunch,' Sirius crowed.

Remus shrugged bashfully. 'I just thought it was some odd version of a Crunchie bar.' He sipped his butterbeer and pointed at Sirius. 'One day during the Easter holiday our seventh year, that one decided we ought to have a chocolate eating contest, the four of us - him, James, me, and - P -' He coughed, biting off the end of the word. 'Someone else in our house,' Remus temporized. 'So the eejit collects as much chocolate as he can, which is a formidable amount, and after dinner one night, throws down the gauntlet. The other person lasted through one bar of Honeydukes'. Not even a large one, at that,' he snorted contemptuously. 'James at least made it through the Honeydukes', a bag of Buttons, a large box of Milk Tray, and a dozen chocolate biscuits.'

Sirius laughed. 'Do you remember where we found him?'

'I'm almost afraid to ask,' Tonks murmured, clearly delighted by the story, tucking her hair behind her ear. She'd reverted to her normal appearance, at Remus' request earlier, and kept it. If anything, Remus felt it made her look younger.

'Draped over a toilet in the loo of our dormitory,' Remus told her. 'Told us to go away and leave him be with his new best friend.'

Tonks reached for her butterbeer and gestured with her chin toward Sirius. 'And him?' she asked Remus.

'He managed to down an additional four Skippy bars and six Milk Tray bars before he collapsed to the floor in a moaning heap of upset stomach.'

Tonks blinked bemusedly for a moment. 'What's a Milk Tray bar?'

'Oh, that's right,' Remus breathed. 'It was like a box of Milk Tray, except it was a whole bar, and not individual pieces. They stopped making it... When? Sometime after Harry was born?'

'I think so. By his first birthday, for sure,' Sirius said. 'So you were, what? Six? Seven?' he asked Tonks.

'Something like that,' Tonks replied smoothly. Sirius jerked suddenly, yelping in pain.

'Why'd you kick me?' he asked petulantly.

'I didn't kick you,' Tonks said innocently. The clock upstairs struck three and Tonks' eyes widened in surprise. 'Is is really three?' she gasped, peering at her watch. 'Damn, it is, and I've to watch tomorrow afternoon...' She stood and pointed her wand at Sirius. 'I blame you,' she said loftily, 'for me missing my beauty sleep.'

Remus hastily stood, nearly tripping over his feet. 'I'll see you to the station,' he mumbled, clutching his battered bag in one hand. 'What time is it? Three? I'll take you home, Dora,' he babbled. Is it obvious? No, it's late and offering to take her home isn't out of the ordinary. You walk her to the Underground station all the time. He made to take her arm to escort her upstairs, but Sirius' cry nearly made him pull away as if he'd been burned.

'Wait!'

Tonks and Remus exchanged puzzled looks before they turned their attention to Sirius.

'Mistletoe.' Sirius smugly pointed to the top of the door frame over their heads.

Remus' eyes closed briefly. I'm going to kill him later, he thought, before he turned back to Tonks. He meant to merely kiss her on the cheek, but Tonks moved, mouth opening to presumably make a comment to Sirius when his mouth landed on hers. The wolf lifted his head, ears pricked with interest. Remus felt, rather than heard, Tonks' soft moan against his mouth. Instead of ending the kiss, which his conscience demanded he do, Remus gave into the inner nudges of the wolf and stepped forward into Tonks' body, one hand twining into her light brown hair, and the other spreading against her lower back, pressing her hips against his.

The wolf threw its head back and howled in triumph, urging Remus to drag Tonks to the table and...

The sound of glass shattering on the stone floor pierced the haze around Remus. He pushed himself away from Tonks, nose twitching at the mingled odors of butterbeer and the nearly overpowering scent of her. The reverberations of his own harsh breathing and pounding pulse nearly drowned out any other sounds. He stared at Tonks, slightly open-mouthed. Her cheeks were flushed and her chest rose and fell rapidly, as she gasped for air. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at Sirius, standing in the kitchen, a spreading puddle of butterbeer soaking his slippers, his mouth a near perfect O of surprise. Sirius shrugged apologetically. 'I'll just go on home, then,' she murmured huskily. 'Good night.'

It was a testament to how rattled she was by the kiss that Tonks slipped noiselessly up the stairs and out of the house without either waking Mrs. Black, or tipping the umbrella stand over.

Remus watched her disappear into the enveloping darkness of the stairs, then pulled out his wand to clean the mess on the kitchen floor. That was close, he thought. Too close...

*****

25 Dec

Remus violently scratched out the date and glared out the dingy window at the roofs below. It was just edging into dawn, and the grey light leeched away what color was left in his threadbare clothing. He'd left number twelve Grimmauld Place an hour ago and had spent the last several minutes staring at the blank page of his journal.

He picked up his quill and began to write slowly, as if it pained him to write the words.

26 December 1995

I spoke to some unfortunate man in Arthur's ward earlier today. Or was it yesterday? It feels as if a week has passed between when I woke up yesterday and now.

Maybe I ought to start at the beginning...

I overheard Fred and George plotting after lunch at number twelve, when they were supposed to be doing the washing up by hand. Apparently, they used one too many colorful descriptions of what they would do to a traitor at breakfast. It seems that Percy sent back his Christmas gift. Unopened. I know I've said it before, but I honestly hope that Percy manages to find his way back from whatever journey he's gone on. I can imagine all to well the regret everyone will feel if he doesn't and something happens to either him or someone else in the family. The twins have all but washed their hands of him. And Ron and Ginny are edging awfully close to that line as well. Arthur hasn't asked about Percy, but you can see him look toward the door while we're at the hospital, and the slight hope that appears as quickly as it fades in his eyes, when Percy doesn't walk through the door.

Greyback is back with a vengeance. There's a poor man in Arthur's ward who was recently bitten by him. I spoke with one of the Healers, and he said it was the fifth one they've had since June. That's just the ones Greyback's bitten during the full moon. It doesn't take into account the ones he's mauled in the interim. At least they won't be werewolves. As far as I know, they won't. At least they won't have to live this life. But something Harry said about Frank and Alice does seem to apply here: tainted as they may be, I don't believe they will live as werewolves. At least I'm fairly sure they won't. I spent a lot of time researching the hows and whys of being a werewolf, especially after I lost James and Sirius. Greyback is ill. There's no other way to say it, considering how much enjoyment he gains out of attacking innocent people.

I hate when Sirius is right. He's such a smug bastard about it.

I hate that he's got an answer to every objection I have about getting involved with Tonks...

Remus thoughtfully drew a line through the last word and replaced it.

Dora.

It makes all of my arguments, which are good ones, seem like bad excuses. He seems to want me to have this relationship with Dora far more than I do, as if he needs to live vicariously through me.

Well, nice try, Padfoot, but it's not going to happen. My life is complicated enough. The last thing I need is someone else's life to complicate.

*****

Teddy picked at his dinner, glancing at Andromeda from under his heavy fringe every so often. But she merely ate her own meal, peppering him with questions about how Al and Lily were doing and if he had managed to purchase his things for the upcoming school year. She acted as if nothing had happened. 'Gran?'

Andromeda set her water glass down. 'Yes, Teddy?'

Teddy took a deep breath, and toyed with his fork. 'I'm sorry...' He speared a stalk of broccoli and glared at the offending vegetable.

Andromeda nodded and reached out and brushed Teddy's fringe away from his eyes. 'So am I.'