When the Dream Team MST The Hobbit

Chapter 2- The First Hour

This had to be the strangest thing ever. One minute Frodo was taking a brief rest in the forest of Ithilien and the next he was in this house with three Men, only they were children and one was a woman. Frodo was terrified that he wouldn't find his way back to finish his quest. He could tell that this place was a different world, since the Ring which had begun to weigh heavily on his mind and body seemed to weight very little now. Frodo seriously hoped that this Dumbledore person could get him back, after all the fate of Middle Earth, was on the chain, around his neck. And Sam was probably already blaming Gollum for his absence and terrified by Frodo's sudden disappearance.

The thing that confused Frodo even more was that they had seemed to know all about Bilbo and had some strange book that seemed to tell Bilbo's account of his adventures. Frodo could tell that this place was a different world, since the Ring which had begun to weigh heavily on his mind and body seemed to weight very little now. Still Frodo seriously hoped that this Dumbledore wizard would be able to help him. After all the fate of Middle Earth, was on the chain, around his neck. Frodo's attention was abruptly drawn by Hermione, who had begun to read aloud from the book.

Hermione: Alright, here we go again.

As I was saying, the mother of this hobbit---of Bilbo Baggins, that is---was the famous Belladonna Took, one of the three remarkable daughters of the Old Took, head of the hobbits who lived across The Water,

Ron: The Water? Doesn't he mean a river or something?

Frodo: No, the river is called The Water.

Ron: What? That's strange.

Frodo: No more than those strange little candies you are eating.

Ron: Bertie Botts are the best!

Frodo: No comment.

*Harry snickers and Hermione rolls her eyes.*

the small river that ran at the foot of The Hill.

Ron: First The Water, now The Hill? Weird...

Hermione: Ron, be quiet.

Ron: Why?

Harry: Cause she said so.

Hermione: Right Harry.

It was often said (in other families) that long ago one of the Took ancestors must have taken a fairy wife.

*Frodo chuckles.*

Ron: Wait a sec, aren't Fairies like really tiny, even smaller than Hobbits?

Hermione: Yes.

Frodo: Why do you think I laughed then? It's a big running joke about the Took family even though most of us have at least a little bit of Took in us.

That was, of course, absurd, but certainly there was still something not entirely hobbitlike about them, and once in a while members of the Took-clan would go and have adventures.

Frodo: Tell me about it.

Hermione: I'm guessing Frodo that you were not in the Shire when you were transported here.

Frodo: You could say that. I was actually almost as far away as I could be.

Ron: Where were you then?

Frodo: In a forest.

Hermione: Stop pestering him Ron.

Ron: Fine, fine, take a chill pill.

They discreetly disappeared, and the family hushed it up; but the fact remained that the Tooks were not as respectable as the Bagginses, though they were undoubtedly richer.

*Harry glances at Frodo.* I'm guessing that since you left home, you are not respectable?

Frodo: You could say that, but it was Bilbo that started it all.

Harry: What did he do?

Frodo: I think this book will tell you exactly what Bilbo does.

Harry: Right.

Not that Belladonna Took ever had any adventures after she became Mrs. Bungo Baggins. Bungo, that was Bilbo's father, built the most luxurious hobbit-hole for her (and partly with her money) that was to be found either under The Hill or over The Hill or across The Water, and there they remained to the end of their days.

*Frodo sighs.* Bag End...man this book is making me homesick.

Hermione: Aww...that's so sad.

Ron: Bag End?

Frodo That's the name of the hobbit hole Bungo Baqggins built.

Ron: Oh I see.

Still it is probable that Bilbo, her only son, although he looked and behaved like a second edition of his solid and comfortable father, got something a bit queer in his make-up from the Took side, something that only waited for a chance to come out.

Harry: That kinda sounds like me before I got my Hogwarts letter.

Frodo: Hogwarts letter?

Harry: Acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Frodo: Are you saying that you are a wizard?

Harry: Yes.

*Frodo laughs.*

Ron: Hey we all are!

Frodo:

The chance never arrived, until Bilbo Baggins was grown up, being about fifty years old

Ron: How old are you Frodo?

Hermione: Ron! That's rude.

Frodo: Its ok, I'm 50 myself.

Ron: Weird.

or so, and living in the beautiful hobbit-hole built by his father, which I have just described for you,

Harry: Biggest understatement ever.

Ron: That's for sure.

until he had in fact apparently settled down immovably.

Hermione: The keyword is apparent.

By some curious chance one morning long ago in the quiet of the world, when there was less noise and more green, and the hobbits were still numerous and prosperous,

Frodo: You mean we're not anymore?

Ron: Apparently.

Frodo: That is disturbing.

Ron: You mean it sucks.

Frodo: I guess.

and Bilbo Baggins was standing at his door after breakfast smoking an enormous long wooden pipe

Frodo: I miss pipe weed.

Ron: Pipe weed?

Frodo: Yes, we grow and smoke it in The Shire. There are several varieties, but Old Toby is my favorite.

Ron: Smoking is icky.

Frodo: To each his own. *glances at the candy wrappers*

that reached nearly down to his woolly toes (neatly brushed)---

*Harry, Hermione and Ron all look at Frodo's hairy feet. Frodo rolls his eyes.*

Gandalf came by.

Ron: Who is Gandalf?

Hermione: Once again Ron, do you have any trace of patience in you?

Ron: No.

Gandalf! If you had heard only a quarter of what I have heard about him, and I have only heard very little of all there is to hear, you would be prepared for any sort of remarkable tale.

Frodo: That's for sure.

Ron: Once again, who is Gandalf?

Frodo: The most brilliant and powerful wizard.

Harry: You haven't met Dumbledore yet.

Their conversation was interrupted by Mrs. Weasley calling from the bottom of the staircase. "Ron, Harry, Hermione it's time for lunch. Come on down from there, you've been up there for hours."

Ron looked around panicked. "Coming Mum," he yelled back while glancing at Frodo. "There is no way we can take Frodo downstairs, Mum would have a cow. We'll bring you back some food Frodo."

Frodo glanced at the three and shook his head. "I have my own food, I will be fine up here." The hobbit reached into his pack and pulled out some very thin wafers. "What is that?" asked Ron looking very curious about the strange food.

Frodo glanced at Ron and offered some too the three. "It's lembas bread, elvish waybread. Good for long journeys and some say one bite is enough to satisfy...but for hobbits it's still not enough."

All three of them looked at the bread before taking a nibble. All of them loved it and finished their wafer before long. Then Mrs. Weasley's yells finally drew Harry, Hermione, and Ron out of the room leaving Frodo by himself. Well thought Frodo, reading about Bilbo's adventures sure beats finding his way to Mordor. And with that thought in mind Frodo laid down to take a nap.