Harry Potter and the Time Potion

Operation Walnut

The Marauders, Lily, and Arabella talked the day away. Suddenly Sirius remembered his Pooping Potion prank and put on his famous evil grin.

"Oh Boa," he said in a singsong voice. "Do you happen to have a certain potion with you...?"

Sirius whooped as Draco pulled out three identical vials. "I love you, Draco!" he said, grabbing them. The rest of them looked at each other nervously.

"What's up, Sir?" James asked.

"Oh, nothing, Jamsie," Sirius said sweetly. "Just another way to help me reach my goal of most detentions."

The boys grinned. Lily sighed. "Who shall be the victim this time?" she asked Sirius lazily.

"Why Lily, I'm shocked," he said, putting on his most dramatic face. "Would I really have amusement at the expense of my clever peers?"

"Yes," she said. "Now tell me who it is before I hex you."

"The Slytherins," Sirius said. "No other house is even worthy of this prank."

"You are now officially starting to scare me," Arabella said, inching backwards. Sirius grinned at her.

"Radical," he said. "Hey, I like that word. Radical. Radical. RADICAL!"

"This?" Harry asked, looking at his godfather strangely. "This is nothing! You should have seen how he woke me up a few days ago... my nose never really recovered..."

Sirius stuck his tongue out Harry. "When it comes, it comes."

"And it just happened to come right next to my head?"

"Erm... yes."

"I don't want to know," Arabella said, shaking her head.

"What's the prank, Sir?" Remus asked.

"Yea, I want to get Snape back for the whole Lily fiasco again," James said, scowling.

"This," Sirius said, holding up the three vials, "is some of the Pooping Potion we made with Theorax today."

Harry and Remus snorted. James put on his own evil grin. "Oh, revenge is sooooooooooo sweet..."

"Two questions," Arabella said. "One; what is a Pooping Potion, and two; revenge for what, exactly?"

"One; the Pooping Potion, according to Theorax, she's the Potions professor, 'when drunken by the non-constipated, will cause the subject to poop uncontrollably,' not to mention give handsome Gryffindor boys hilarious prank ideas, and two; ... er..." Sirius said, looking at James, who was cracking his knuckles. Lily was scowling and scrubbing at her lips.

"What are you doing?" a very confused Arabella asked Lily. Sirius answered for Lily.

"Decontaminating her lips," he said. "Poor Lily, her lips shall always be scarred..."

"Don't rub it in," she said miserably. "If you think I enjoyed kissing that- that- that thing, you're insane. Actually, you're insane anyway."

"Well, er, you see, Snape..." Remus trailed off.

"We can explain the Lily-Snape-James triangle after I finish my prank, Moony," Sirius said, glint in his eyes.

"Yea, don' t leave us hanging," Harry said begging. Sirius grinned at them evilly as they watched him.

"Well... maybe I shouldn't..."

"Oh get on with it already, Padfoot," Draco sighed. "We haven't got all day."

"Oh fine Boa... OK, here's the plan. We give the Slytherins the potion the night before the Ball - guys, you know the drill - and Lily puts a charm on it so it won't take effect until someone says the trigger word, which can be, like, bubbleyummygummygum. Then, when we're all dancing at the Ball, we get close to them and say it to them. See, we have to get them while they're dancing, so everyone can see the back of their robes."

"That," Lily said happily, "is the best idea you have ever come up with Sirius."

"Yes, I know," Sirius said, bowing. "I live to serve."

James and Remus cracked up. Harry grinned widely. Draco smirked. Arabella looked at them like they were crazy. "Won't that embarrass them, though?"

There was silence. "Your point is..." James said.

"That's the point," Harry said.

"That's the plan," Sirius said.

"He deserves it anyway," Lily mumbled, wiping her lips with her sleeve again. "Yuck, yuck, yuck..."

"And," Sirius said proudly, taking a few certain pictures out of his pocket, "we still owe him and Zabini a little payback."

The Marauders and Lily exchanged evil grins. "Let me see those..." Arabella said, taking the pictures out of Sirius's hand. She looked at them and dropped them.

"You guys are really sick you know," she said, covering her mouth.

"Thanks," said Sirius grinning like a maniac.

"Where did you guys get these?" she asked. The boys smiled innocently at her.

"Remus was taking a photography class..." James began.

"James, that's not funny," Remus said. "It wasn't my idea to take them. I always carry my camera, and you took complete advantage of that."

"You took these?" Arabella said, staring at them in shock. Sirius nodded proudly.

"A little bonus from the chicken boy prank..."

Arabella shook her head. "No, never mind... I don't want to know."

"We'd better head back," Lily said, gesturing out the window to where the sun was going down. "Maybe I can introduce you to Laura and Annie, Arabella, they're also in our year..."

Harry groaned when he heard Laura's name. "I'm such an idiot," he said out loud.

"Yes, we know you are," Draco said.

"I should not have asked her... ugh... I'm such an idiot," Harry said again. "Ugh... this is more embarrassing than when I asked Cho... now I get to make a fool of myself dancing at the Ball... I should have gone alone. Thanks a lot, Moony."

"You're welcome," Remus said brightly.

"What are you taking about, Harry?" Arabella asked.

"Ugh... I asked Laura Hillman to the Ball. She's gorgeous, and she even plays Quidditch. She said yes. I'm doomed," Harry moaned.

"And we all get to watch while you pound her feet into mush," Draco said. "How exciting!"

"Who are you going with, Draco?" Harry snapped. Draco went red.

"Er..."

"Aw, look, Draco misses Parkinson," Harry said.

"Shut up, Beaky," Draco snapped. "I'm not going with anybody yet. Watch." He gestured for the others to follow him out of the room. They went up to Gryffindor Tower. Draco headed for Susie, one of the Gryffindor Chasers.

"Hello, beautiful," he said slyly. "Want to go to the Ball with me?"

Susie giggled and said, "All right then." Draco smirked at Harry over her head.

"I'll meet you in here at eight Saturday. Stay beautiful." Draco winked at her and she melted. She ran up the stairs to the girls' dorm.

"In your face, Harry," Draco said. "So in your face."

"I hate you, Malfoy," Harry groaned.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"The sky is blue."

"Shut up, Harry."

"Come on, Arabella," Lily said. "You're probably tired of hanging around these losers by now. I know I am."

"How'd you guess?" Arabella said sarcastically.

"LILY!" the boys cried.

"Traitor," James said angrily, but his eyes were smiling. Lily gave him a quick kiss.

"We'll be down in a little bit, okay, James?" she said, smiling at him.

"You're lucky you're my girlfriend, otherwise I might kill you," James said, grinning.

"Oh, I cower," Lily said sarcastically. "Come on, Arabella, let's go..."

Lily led Arabella back up the stairs. Meanwhile, Laura Hillman was moping.

Laura put her head in her pillow. "Ugh," she said. She heard someone come into the dorm.

"Guess what?" she heard Susie's enthusiastic voice.

"What is it?" Laura mumbled, looking up. Susie was smiling.

"Draco Malfoy asked me to the Ball!" Susie said dreamily.

"Whoop-dee-doo." Laura went back to her moping. She knew she had fallen for Harry Finnigan. Hard. But he was Harry Finnigan (A/N: You don't know how wrong that sounds...), Marauder and transfer from Beauxbatons, and she was just plain old Laura Hillman. But he asked me to the Ball! She thought. Does that mean he- no, pull yourself together girl, that's impossible!

"What's wrong, Laura?" Susie asked. "Don't you have a date?"

"Yea," Laura mumbled. "I am going to make a complete fool of myself..."

"Who is it?"

"Harry Finnigan," Laura groaned.

"Really? Oh gosh, Laura, he's hot!" Susie exclaimed.

"Harry? Hot? Are you feeling all right?" came a new voice.

"Oh shut up, Lily," Susie said without looking up. "Just because you've got a date with James Potter doesn't mean the rest of us can dream. Besides, Harry Finnigan is one of Hogwarts' Most Wanted. He is sooooooooooo hot!"

"I'll let him now you said that," said an older woman's voice. Laura looked up. It was a woman about in her thirties, who was smiling at them all.

"Who are you?" Susie asked, looking up at last.

"Arabella Figg," she said. "I'm playing guitar at the Ball on Saturday." She gestured to the guitar case in the corner.

"And who says I'm going with James anyway?" Lily said jokingly. "For all you know, I might be going with Snape."

"You wouldn't dare," said a new (but very familiar) voice.

"James Potter, you march your little butt right back down to the common room," Lily said, scolding him.

"But-"

"No buts!"

"But I already have one!" James said teasingly.

"And I'm going to kick it if you're not gone in three seconds."

"Going..."

James kissed her and ran down the stairs. Lily sighed.

"Boys," she muttered.

"Speaking of boys," Arabella said, "I feel very sorry for you - what's your name anyway?"

"Susie," Susie said.

"Then I sympathize for you, Susie, for you are going to the Ball with the ugliest dude on the face of the earth!"

"I HEARD THAT, ARABELLA!" Draco shouted from the common room.

"WELL, SOR-REE!" Arabella shouted back, closing the door.

"Draco isn't ugly!" Susie protested.

"That's a joke," Lily said. "Back at - er - Beauxbatons he dated a Dracis, and that's the French equivalent for a Slytherin."

"Yech. Poor Draco."

"Poor Draco?" Arabella said. "That's a laugh."

Laura smiled. "You've got to admit, Susie, he isn't that handsome."

"I thought you were on my side, Laura!" Susie stated.

"Your side? He's hideous," Laura said in disgust.

"So you're Laura," Arabella said. "Boy, have I heard a lot about you..."

"Arabella..." Lily said.

"... From Harry."

Laura went a deep shade of red. "And?"

"And it looks like you've got an admirer, girl, he's got it worse than Remus."

"Remus? That's just a little crush he's got," Lily said. Arabella looked at her strangely.

"Are you blind, Lils? He's fallen. Swift and hard. Don't you see the way he looks at her? He's in love, Lily. But Harry - he's a lovesick puppy. He's got it bad, real bad." Arabella looked at Laura intently. "And I bet I know who the lucky woman is."

Laura went red and buried her face in her pillow. "I shouldn't have said yes," she groaned.

"Why not?" Lily asked. "He's really sweet... not that I want to steal him from you... EW, that would be really gross... but he's a nice guy."

"I know," Laura groaned. "I am going to make a complete fool of myself..."

"How ironic. Those are the same words Harry has been saying for the last hour," Lily said.

Laura groaned loudly. "Thank you so much for your sympathy, Lily."

"Your welcome." Lily's face darkened. "I'm - I'm leaving tomorrow. For - for - you know. I'll be back by Friday. Just be nice to Arabella and make sure James and Sirius don't blow up anything, okay?"

"Sure," Laura said.

"That's going to be hard," Susie said. "They only listen to you."

"You can hex them for me if they get into any trouble. I grant you permission to give my boyfriend death by tickling," Lily said, smiling slightly.

"Cool!" Susie said. "Anyway, what about that thing in Transfiguration, eh? Poor Narcissa..."

"What happened?" Arabella asked.

"A good friend of ours got suspended," Lily sighed. "Poor Narcissa my butt, Susie. Poor Sirius."

"What does Sirius have to do with this?" Arabella asked, apparently very confused.

"Sirius was Nar's girlfriend," Lily explained grimly. "They broke up. Then, when Sir tried to make up, she went off with Malfoy. Sirius was devastated."

"Eek," Arabella grimaced. Er- Lucius Malfoy, right? She said, raising an eyebrow at Lily, wondering if she could hear her.

Lily smiled and nodded. "That's just cool," Arabella muttered.

"Isn't it?" Lily said, smiling widely.

"Cool that Sirius was devastated?" Susie asked.

"Never mind," Arabella said, winking at Lily.

Meanwhile, Harry was down in the common room, dreading the Ball. "I can't dance!" he groaned. "I'm such an idiot for asking her..."

"There are a lot of reasons for you being an idiot," Draco said, "but that's not one of them."

"Yea... whatever. I am such a dope!" Harry muttered.

"Agreed," Draco said.

"I've got to go," Remus said. "I'll see you guys at dinner."

"Oh, are you going to go meet Ricky?" Sirius said mockingly.

"Shut up, Padfoot..." Remus said, going out of the portrait hole. He let out a deep sigh of relief. He headed for he and Patricia's secret place. He finally reached it, and found Patricia looking up at the stars.

"Hello, beautiful," he muttered, sitting next to her and putting his arms around her.

"Remus," she muttered, closing her eyes and hugging him. "I love you."

"I love you too." They sat in each other's embrace silently. Remus kissed Patricia on the forehead. Is she who I want to be with forever? Remus thought. Or is it too early? How can I be sure?

Suddenly he had a flashback. He had asked his mother the same thing over the summer. He remembered her exact words as if it were yesterday.

Too early? It's never too early, Remus, and it's never too late. Whenever you find that one special person is the right time. Some people never find their special person. If you've got her now, don't let her get away from you, Remus, and hold her close to your heart.

As Remus recalled those words, he held Patricia closer. He remembered his mother's last words to him, and was now sure she was the one.

They had been on Platform 9 ¾. Remus was giving his mother one last hug when she whispered in his ear, "Follow your heart, Remus. It will never lead you wrong."

Follow your heart.

Remus was now ure he was in love. True love. It was almost ironic how his mother's last words to him fit so well when he needed advice. He kissed Patricia lightly on the lips. She was so beautiful, so smooth, and so peaceful. He didn't even deserve her.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, Remus. Don't leave me," Patricia muttered.

"I won't." This was the truth. He had no intention of leaving her, ever. But - something Harry had told him bothered him.

But- that doesn't make sense, Harry had said. They were in the library, working on a report for Professor Binns.

What?

I've never even heard you mention Mrs. Patil. Plus, Parvati told me her mum was a widow, and you're alive. Something's not right.

Remus had dropped his quill. Patricia got married?

Yes, to someone... but Parvati and Padma's last name is Patil, Patricia's maiden name. Something must have happened between you two. But I don't get what. You're so perfect together.

Remus squeezed Patricia as she kissed him softly. He kissed her back. But his heart was troubled. Suddenly he broke off from her looked into her eyes.

"Something's not right," he said, closing his eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"Something strange... I can just feel it. We were meant to be together, Ricky, I know it. And that's how I want it to be. But I'm confused." Remus took a deep breath and buried his head in his hands.

"What's there to be confused about, Remus?" Patricia asked. "We're together, and that's all that matters."

"No, we're not." Remus took a deep breath and looked into her hurt eyes. Harry, you're going to kill me for this, but I have to tell her, he thought.

"What are you talking about, Remus? You've been so distant lately. I'm worried about you." Patricia was clearly upset. Remus hated seeing her upset. He pulled her into a tight embrace.

"There's something I need to tell you. About the future."

"Don't tell me you actually listen to anything Trelawney says," Patricia said. Remus chuckled.

"No, it's not that. It's Harry and Draco."

"What about them?"

"Look up."

"What?"

"Look at the stars. Tell me what you think of when you see them."

"I don't see what that has to do with any of this." (A/N: You probably don't either, unless you're psychic or something... but it'll connect, trust me.)

"It does. Trust me."

*

Look at the sky, tell me,

What do you see?

Just close your eyes and describe it to me.

(A/N: I'm going to be writing the next couple pages like a songfic, and I'll put my disclaimer for the song at the end, okay?)

*

"I see little lights, coming from far, far away," Patricia said. "Each of them is like a little door to another world. A world where good prevails over evil." Patricia sighed. "Whenever I look up at the sky, I forget my troubles. It's my safe haven. That's why I like Astronomy so much."

"I know. It's beautiful." Remus sighed. "That's what I see in you eyes. When I'm with you, I forget about all my worries. That's part of why I love you."

*

The heavens are sparkling

With starlight tonight.

That's what I see through your eyes.

*

"And what's the other part?" Patricia questioned.

"You're the nicest person I've ever met, Ricky. I don't deserve you." Remus sighed deeply and continued. "And when you found out about me, I realized how much I cared. Yea, I'm scared that anyone will find out. But - I didn't want you to desert me. Even more than when Sirius, James, and Peter found out."

"Remus," Patricia said, stroking his hair. "The people who hold it against you are too naïve to be dealt with. Only concern yourself with those who are closer to you for it."

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I love you, Ricky. More than anyone in the entire world." Remus held her so close that he could feel the soft beating of her heart. It was racing. She was scared. Scared that he would desert he. Don't be afraid, Ricky, he thought. It hurts me when you are.

*

I see the heavens

Each time that you smile.

I hear your heartbeat just going for miles.

*

"You're the reason my life is meaningful. Without you, it's worthless."

"Then what's the problem, Remus? What's wrong?" she whispered. "You're the only reason I need to exist."

*

And suddenly I know my life is worthwhile,

That's what I see through your eyes.

*

Remus kissed her on the forehead and gazed into her eyes again. "Because it's wrong. It can't go on."

"Why not, Remus?" Tears were running down Patricia's face. "Why not?"

"Let me put it like this." Remus sighed. "You're the sun of my life. Somebody stole that sun and made it their own."

*

Here in the night,

I see the sun.

Here in the dark,

Our two hearts are one.

*

"That doesn't make sense, Remus!" Patricia said tearfully.

"I know," Remus choked. He let a single tear fall down his cheek. "I know. I'm really not supposed to tell you this, and Harry is going to be after my blood for it, but I don't care. Just listen, and maybe it'll make some more sense to you." Remus took a deep breath and explained everything. How Harry and Draco were from the future, and all about how Harry had never heard him talk about her.

"But I would never do that," Patricia whispered. "I love you."

"I know. I told Harry it didn't make any sense. He said you were a widow, and as I'm alive in 1995... it doesn't make sense."

"There has to be something we can do to change it," Patricia said.

"But if we did, Parvati and Padma wouldn't exist, and Harry and Draco would be the only ones in the world who would remember them. Draco's having the same problem with Narcissa... I guess you've heard about her ditching Sirius for Malfoy? Well, Draco knows how to help her, but if he does, he won't exist any more, because Malfoy and Narcissa are his parents." Remus sighed. "There's nothing we can do."

*

It's out of our hands,

We can't stop what we have begun.

And love just took me by surprise,

Looking through your eyes.

Looking Through Your Eyes- LeAnn Rimes

*

Patricia sniffed and kissed Remus. "But I can't marry anyone else. I love you."

"I love you too," Remus said, letting another tear fall down his face. "I can't even begin to describe how much. But what are we supposed to do?"

Patricia sighed and looked into Remus's eyes carefully. She knew she couldn't go on without Remus beside her. "I guess we should just - ignore it. Like you said, there's nothing we can do, so let's not worry. Let's just not take what we have now for granted." She kissed Remus lightly. "Then maybe Harry and Draco can - sort it out when they go back."

Remus kissed her back. "That's what I was hoping you'd say."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They shared one last, long kiss before breaking apart. "Add you to the list of people they've got to Memory Charm before they get out of here," Remus muttered.

"We've got to get to dinner, Remus," Patricia said, running her finger down his pale face.

"I'll walk you down."

They walked down to the Great Hall holding hands. Remus squeezed Patricia's hand once more as she walked over to the Ravenclaw table. She smiled at him and winked. He winked back. "Told you," he heard Arabella whisper to Lily.

"Told her what?" he asked, sitting down.

"Nothing," they said as one. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he said. He watched bemusedly as Harry sank down beneath the table. "Hiding, Beaky?" he asked.

Harry jerked his head towards the door, where Susie and Laura were coming in. "Oh," he said. "Look, Sirius, its Laura."

Sirius grinned evilly at Harry. "Oi, Laura, Susie!" he called. "Come sit over here!" Harry groaned and kicked Sirius in the shin.

"Moony," he groaned. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because I love to watch you suffer," Remus said simply. Draco gave him a high-five.

"Do you want to keep that necklace on forever, Boa?" Harry snapped. Draco went red.

"No," he mumbled.

"Interesting maneuver, Harry," James said.

"Hi," said Susie and Laura as they sat down. Susie sat down next to Draco, leaving the only empty seat between Harry and James. Laura bit her lip and sat down. Harry smacked his forehead.

"You planned this, didn't you?" he hissed at Sirius, who was grinning widely.

"Nope. That was just a wonderful surprise bonus, though."

Harry hit him and groaned. He watched Susie flirt with Draco, careful not to let his eyes connect with Laura's. Fortunately for him, Laura was doing the same thing.

As the last course disappeared, however, they were between a rock and a hard place. Sirius suggested loudly that they go to the library. At the same time they said, "No thanks," while all the others were talking about all the work they needed to get done. Harry and Laura both groaned inwardly. Now they had to walk all the way back to Gryffindor Tower together. This was not Harry's day.

"Hey, I'll go with you two back to Gryffindor Tower," Arabella said. Harry could have kissed Arabella.

"Great!" he said. "Let's go!" Sirius looked deeply disappointed as the group split up. Harry stuck his tounge out at him.

"Oh, you know what?" Arabella said, smiling evilly at them. "I forgot... I've got to go practice over in Hogsmeade for the Ball. See ya."

Harry glared at Arabella's back as she retreated. They planned this, he said. I am going to kill them.

"Hi," Harry said nervously.

"Yea..." Laura said.

"So..." Harry said. They were only on the first flight of stairs. Why did Gryffindor Tower have to be on the seventh floor?

"Er... Harry, I was thinking about our ... date and..."

"I can't dance," Harry blurted out.

"Neither can I," Laura whispered.

"Oh."

Laura watched Harry carefully. He looked just as nervous as she did. Did that mean he- no, that wasn't possible.

Stop being nervous, Harry said. Just because she looks like Hermione doesn't mean she is Hermione. Besides, you're not allowed to fall in love. Dumbledore did the charm. You're safe.

But have physical limitations ever stopped you? Said a voice in his head.

No, but...

But what? Look at her. She's beautiful. Don't you want her?

This isn't about what I want!

Then what's it about?

Er... just shut up, will you?

Harry groaned and massaged his forehead. Still six more flights to go.

"Well..." Laura said.

"Yea..."

I am going to kill all of them, Harry thought angrily.

Oh gosh, he's adorable, Laura thought. No, no, snap out of it... you are not going to fall, you are not going to fall, and you have already fallen, Laura Hillman. This stinks.

Harry watched as Laura went a deep shade of red. She is so beautiful... NO! You are in love with Hermione, not Laura! SNAP OUT OF IT, HARRY!!! She's only a decoy... oh God that sounded horrible. All I'm going to do in the end is hurt her feelings. Some hero I am. (A/N: This was a spur-of-the-moment idea (as all of my ideas are); I'm not going to do the traditional H/Hr fic... I'm going to add a little twist, where poor Harry realizes he's not in love with whom he thinks and the one he is in love with... well, I don't want to give it away.)

"So... did you like it at Beauxbatons?" Laura asked, making a frail attempt at conversation.

"What? Oh! Right... um... yea, I guess so," Harry answered lamely. "It's... a lot warmer there." He wracked his brain for things Hermione had told him about Beauxbatons. He failed miserably. "The castle's a lot bigger, too, but Hogwarts is a lot more homely."

"You don't have much of a French accent," Laura said.

"Yea... I live in Britain on holiday, actually. I was born here." Not a complete lie, he thought. Just that I don't go to school in France.

"Oh."

They walked in silence, finally coming to the next flight of stairs. YES! Five to go, Harry thought.

"So... do you like it here at Hogwarts?" Harry asked.

"It's wonderful," Laura sighed. "I'm a Muggle-born, actually, and I thought it was fascinating here."

"Really?" Harry asked lamely. She is even more like Hermione than Lily, Harry decided. "You are a lot like someone I know."

"Really? Who?" Laura asked.

"Oh, um... Hermione Granger," Harry said. It can't hurt; Hermione's parents are Muggles anyway. "She looks a lot like you."

"You look a lot like James Potter," Laura said.

No, really? "Yes, I noticed. Uncanny, isn't it?"

"Yes, but... what's that on your head?" Laura asked, suddenly noticing the scar on Harry's forehead. Well, she was bound to notice it sometime, Harry sighed. Too bad I can't tell her what it is.

"Oh, this?" he asked. "I - er - had an encounter with You-Know-Who. I really don't want to talk about it." See, you can do it without lying.

"Sorry. Was he after your parents or something?"

Harry gulped. Even when he knew his mum and dad were just outside, it still hurt to talk about it. "Yea," he said. "He got them, too."

Laura bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay." I'm quite used to it, actually. "A lot of people ask."

"Yea... so, what's this Hermione girl like?"

"She's really smart," Harry said. "She helped my friend Ron and I do a lot of stuff... like pass Potions." Harry sighed. "I stink at Potions."

"I like it," Laura said tentatively. "I just don't like Theorax."

"She's worse than Sn- er- my professor," Harry mumbled. "And I didn't think that was possible."

"I like most of the professors, actually," Laura said. "Except Theorax and Weasley. I hate Transfiguration."

"Really? It's my favorite subject. Professor Weasley is a very nice person." Except for when she's angry.

"Yea, I guess so. But she doesn't really like me that much because I stink at Transfiguration so much."

"Come naturally to me, actually," Harry said.

"Like me and Potions," Laura smiled. No one had ever understood her like this. Maybe falling isn't so bad, she thought.

Soon Harry and Laura forgot they were nervous and started to chat flowingly. Almost immediately they found themselves on the seventh floor in front of the Fat Lady. They talked the night away.

When Harry finally went up to bed, he smiled at Laura. "Nice talking to you," he said. The nervousness came back full blast.

"You too." Laura smiled. She had a beautiful smile. Oh God you're falling, Harry thought to himself. No, no, don't, your heart is for Hermione... Thinking of Hermione made the nervousness go away again. No matter how much like Hermione Laura was, she still wasn't her.

"'Night," Harry said.

"'Night," Laura said.

Harry collapsed onto his bed and groaned. "The whole point of this was so that you wouldn't miss Hermione as much!" Harry told himself. "You're not supposed to fall in love!" He sighed, got up and looked in the mirror.

"You will not fall for Laura, you will not fall for Laura, and you will not fall for Laura... okay. I'm good. Laura looks like Hermione, so I think I'm falling for her, which is good, because it means I'm falling for Hermione all over again. All is right with the world." Harry got back into his bed and fell asleep.

Harry woke up early the next morning for two reasons. One; he wanted to say good-bye to Lily and two; he was tired of having Sirius wake him up. When Harry went down to the common room, he found James already there.

"Did Mum leave yet?" Harry asked as he sat down next to his father. James shook his head.

"Nope. Should be down any minute, though... anyway, how did you manage with Laura last night?" James said, grinning widely.

"Good," Harry said. "You see, the way I figure it, Laura looks like Hermione, so I think I'm falling for her, but I'm really falling for Hermione all over again, so it's okay."

"Yea, whatever."

"Hey," said Lily, pulling her trunk down the stairs. James stood up and kissed her. He bewitched the trunk to make it lighter. Lily smiled at him sadly.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm okay," she choked.

James hugged her. "We'll all be at the station Friday at nine, okay?"

"Thanks," Lily said, sniffling slightly. Harry stood up.

"It's all right, Mum," Harry said. "Time heals all wounds." Harry was silent for a moment. "No, I take that back. Forget I ever said that. Don't let Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon get you down."

Lily kissed Harry on the cheek. "I guess I'll see you guys Friday," she said. "Tell everyone else I said goodbye... I really have to go now."

"We will," James said. "Have a good trip."

Lily smiled at him and kissed him before she walked out of the room waving.

James sighed. "Poor Lily. Poor me."

"There's nothing you can do to stop it, James," Harry said gently. "They'll find a way. They always do. You can't save your parents. And I know what it feels like."

Thursday and Friday went by without avail. James was miserable without Lily, but Sirius was getting excited.

Arabella was nervous about performing in front of all those people. Harry tried his best to comfort her, but it wasn't good enough.

"Come on, you're great," he told her.

"But what if I mess up?"

"Er- well, you'll ruin the dance, and none of the students will ever want to talk to you, and you might even lose your job," Harry said lamely. Apparently this did not make Arabella feel much better.

Sirius, meanwhile, was getting anxious to do his prank. "Okay," he told Remus, James, Harry and Draco one day, "here's the plan. We go get Lily at nine, then we come back up, and four of us go down again at midnight. Okay?"

"But which four of us get to go?" Remus asked.

"I didn't get to go last time!" Draco said.

"It was my idea!" Sirius said.

"I want to go!" James said.

"I want to make sure they don't mess it up," Harry said calmly.

"I'll stay," Remus shrugged. "I don't need to see Snape naked again..." Remus shuddered. "And I'm keeping my camera with me, Sirius, so don't get any ideas."

"Aw, you're no fun," Sirius pouted.

"Oh, let me roll up in a ball and cry," Remus said sarcastically. "Okay, I'm done."

"Good one, Moony," Harry said, giving Remus a high-five. "Look, it's half of nine. Let's go."

They all filed down to the common room, where Arabella was waiting for them.

"Hurry up, slowpokes," she called over her shoulder. Harry Apparated in front of her.

"I love doing that," he said happily.

Arabella stuck her tounge out at him. They managed to get down to the Hogsmeade train station in six separate pieces. They got there just in time to see the train pull in.

"Told you guys you were too slow," Arabella said proudly as Lily walked off the train.

"Hi guys," she said, pulling her trunk out of the compartment. James lightened it for her again, and then rounded on her.

"Lily," he said. "I have received information from unwanted sources that you gave two certain Gryffindor girls the right to tickle us to death. Do you deny?"

Lily giggled and shook her head. "No. I'd better thank Susie and Laura for that."

"I am going to get you some day, Lily Evans," Sirius said. "Susie can throw one hell of a Tickling Charm."

"Were you being bad boys?" Lily asked.

"I'm shocked, Lily," Sirius said. "Do you really think I'm a bad boy?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well, you're right then." Sirius grinned at her. "But I'm cute, aren't I?"

"No!" said the rest of them.

"Sometimes I think you don't appreciate me," Sirius said, putting on a dramatic face.

"Hmm, I wonder why that could be?" Draco asked sarcastically.

"Maybe because we don't," Harry said. "I definitely do not appreciate the way you wake me up in the morning... or the way Draco wakes me up either, for that matter," he added, as an afterthought. Draco and Sirius glared at him.

"My talents have gone unacknowledged," Sirius said mournfully. "Woe betides me!"

"Oh shut up," Remus said. "You're so melodramatic."

"What does melodramatic mean?" Sirius asked.

"Never mind," Remus said, shaking his head. "Good to have you back, Lils."

Lily smiled at Remus. Are you okay? Lily mouthed.

Remus nodded. Yea, he mouthed back.

"Come on, we must proceed with Operation Pooping Potion!" Sirius said impatiently.

Lily was caught up on the events of the past two days as they walked back up to the castle. Remus breathed the cool night air in deeply. It was a beautiful night. Suddenly he saw a person beckoning him over to the lake. It was hard to tell who it was, since they were far away, but Remus had a pretty good idea who it was.

"Hey, guys?" Remus said. "I'm going to go for a walk. Yes, Padfoot, I'll be back in time to see you off, I just want to be alone for a little while, okay? Thanks."

Remus watched as his friends disappeared into the castle before running over to the lake. "Patricia?" he asked. "What are you doing out here this late?"

"Waiting for you," Patricia smiled. She kissed his cheek.

Remus smiled at her. "How did you know I'd be out here?" he asked.

"Lily told me," Patricia said, pulling Remus down onto the grass. "I just wanted us to be alone for a little while."

"Of course, beautiful," Remus said, kissing the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too," Patricia said, wrapping her arms around Remus. They watched the stars for a while. "You know what is the most painful thing I've ever had to do?" she whispered.

"What, Ricky?"

"Listen to you scream." She looked up into Remus's eyes. "It hurts me so bad to listen to you on those nights, Remus. It makes me want to scream too."

Remus squeezed her. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Remus," Patricia said. "Please. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Remus sighed. "That's what everyone else says too." He gazed absentmindedly at the stars. "But it's not true."

"Look at me, Remus," Patricia said, gazing into his eyes. "I love you. Would I ever lie to you about something like this?"

Remus sighed. "I suppose not."

"I would never. I swear." Patricia closed her eyes and kissed Remus again.

Remus buried his face in Patricia's golden hair. "I know you wouldn't. But other people would."

"Like I said before, Remus, the people who can't see who you really are aren't worth bothering with."

"But I'm not really Remus," Remus whispered. "The wolf is what I am. That is the real me."

"No, it's not," Patricia said. "It's the beast that controls you once a month. It is not what you are. You are the kindest, sweetest boy that I've ever met, and I love you."

Remus couldn't find an answer for that. He wrapped his arms around Patricia.

Follow your heart.

Remus kissed Patricia lightly. "I love you. There's no one else out there like you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "More than anything in the whole world."

Remus looked into Patricia's eyes for probably the millionth time. She was so beautiful. He was sure that people weren't meant to love like he loved her. It was... unearthly. Eerie.

Remus looked at the moon. When he realized its position and looked at his watch his heart sunk. It was 11:30.

"I've got to go or Sirius will kill me," he said. "I'll meet you in our place at one, okay?"

"Okay," she said, giving Remus one last kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." Remus squeezed her hand before dashing up to the castle.

Remus skidded into the common room at 11:59. "Phew," he said. "I'm here. Wouldn't want to miss this."

"We were about to leave without you," Harry said as the clock chimed midnight. "What took you so long?"

"Filch," Remus lied. "Be careful, he's on the alert tonight. I - er - knocked over a vase."

"Naughty, naughty," Sirius said, shaking his finger.

"You guys had better be careful," Lily said. "If Filch is on the move... maybe you shouldn't go."

"It's too late for that, Lily," James said dramatically. "I must see Snape poop in public now."

The rest of them snorted. Lily rolled her eyes. "You guys be careful," Arabella said, yawning. "I'm going to bed."

"Spoilsport!" Sirius called after her. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Shut up!" she yelled down, closing the dorm door behind her.

"Now," Remus said, "Lily, did you charm it?"

Lily nodded. "The trigger words are Do you believe in magic? Innocent enough?"

"Well, it's something the Slytherins will never say, Lily," Draco laughed. "Believe me, they'd have to be insane."

"Well, let's go now!" Sirius said quickly.

"One more thing..." Remus said, pulling something out of Sirius's pocket. It was his camera. "You won't be needing this."

"Party pooper," Sirius pouted as Lily threw the Invisibility Cloak over them. Remus felt something on his toe.

"Padfoot, you idiot, that hurt!" Remus said, rubbing his toe.

"Here, I'll step on his for you, Moony," said Harry. Sirius yelped.

"That was for making me come up with Laura alone, and this," Sirius yelped again, "is to remind you never to wake me up again."

"Ouch," Sirius said lamely.

"Oh shut up, Padfoot," James said. "It's getting annoying."

"Really? Radical! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch-"

Draco said, "Do you want to be buried or cremated?"

"Like I said before, cremation is nasty."

"Then that's exactly what you'll get after I behead you, and let's see if you can stop me."

"I will!"

"You couldn't."

"Why not?"

"You'd be dead, Sir."

"Oh yea..."

"Wait!" Remus said. "You need... where are you?"

Draco's head appeared out of nowhere. "You called?"

"Do you have the potion?"

"Yes."

"You might need this. Silencio!"

Draco's mouth moved, but Remus didn't hear anything. "You're welcome," Remus said, smiling tackily. "Don't take too long, and be careful of Filch!"

Draco mouthed something else and put his head under the cloak again. The portrait opened and closed again. Suddenly it opened and closed again. Remus and Lily exchanged confused glances.

James's hand appeared and pointed at the fireplace. "Oh," said Lily and Remus. James's hand disappeared again. Remus saw the purple blast that was the Alohomora Charm. The door to the lobby opened.

"We'll wait for you in here," Remus said, pulling Lily in with him. They closed the door. Harry's hand gave them a thumbs-up. The door labeled Snape's Room: Beware (they had added their own label) opened, and Remus could hear Snape snoring.

He watched at the doorway as James's hand appeared and poured the whole vial of Pooping Potion into Snape's open mouth. James's hand disappeared again, and Remus moved over so that they could get back in.

"Do Malfoy next," Remus said. Sure enough, the Malfoy's Room door opened. This time Draco poured the potion into Malfoy's open mouth.

"Who are you going to give the last vial to?" Lily asked as the door closed again.

We're going to split it between Crabbe and Goyle, Harry thought.

"Crabbe and Goyle," Lily said. "Cool."

Sirius just said, 'You mean radical.'

"Shut up, Sirius," Lily said. Remus raised an eyebrow at her. She pointed to her head.

"You don't want to know what Sirius just said," she sighed.

"You're right. I don't." Remus shook his head as the Fifth Year Slytherin Boys' Dorm opened. He watched as Sirius and Harry's hands poured half a vial each into Crabbe and Goyle's mouths. They closed the door behind them and took off the Invisibility Cloak. "Finite Incantantem," Remus muttered. "That was excellent!"

"Wasn't it?" Sirius laughed. "I love this room. It makes our life a million times easier."

"I'll say," Harry sighed. "I wish I had known about this when we were making the Polyjuice Potion... look, Moaning Myrtle's bathroom is right there." Harry pointed to Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom door. "Ron, Hermione, and I had to sneak out there all the time. We got caught by Percy one too." Harry chuckled.

"You mean Peter?" Draco asked, confused. Harry snorted.

"That's exactly what you said that night," Harry said.

Remus checked his watch. Twelve thirty. He still had time. "You guys are such losers."

"Yes, you are a loser," Sirius said automatically. Remus rolled his eyes.

"That's getting kind of old, Padfoot."

"Jokes like that never get old, Moony, my friend."

"Actually, they got old faster than other ones," Draco said.

"No they don't."

"Yes they do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Don't."

"Do."

"HA!" Draco said. "Oldest trick in the book!" Sirius made a face and pouted.

"No fair," he said, scrunching up his face.

"No one ever said life is fair, Sir."

"Ooka Booka Bugga did."

I really don't want to know who Ooka Booka Bugga is, so don't even tell me," Draco said warily.

"OK."

They sat talking about how crazy Sirius was one the clock chimed one. Remus bit his lip. Luckily for him, everyone else was tired.

"Let's go to bed, guys," Lily yawned. The others mumbled varied forms of "yes."

"I'm going to stay up for a while," Remus said. "I'm too excited to sleep."

"Yea, whatever," Harry yawned.

"Don't stay up too late," Sirius scolded.

"I won't, Padfoot," Remus said obediently, snickering. He left through the Gryffindor common room door while the others went to their respective dorms.

When he was sure the doors had closed, Remus climbed back through and went to Rap Room. He had added the door in the corner of the room. 'Rap' stood for Remus and Patricia, of course. He went through the door and found himself outside the door to he and Patricia's special place. He closed the lobby door and opened the one in front of him, to find Patricia waiting for him.

"Sorry I was late," Remus mumbled. "Padfoot is going down."

"That's all right," Patricia muttered as Remus sat down. She leaned her head on Remus's chest. "I love you."

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled. "I love you too."

Remus kissed Patricia tenderly. She was so sweet. So beautiful. So warm. He kissed her again, hoping the moment would never end. It did, only too quickly. Remus rested his head on top of hers and looked out at the stars. They twinkled at him innocently.

Follow your heart.

Remus held Patricia close to him. Patricia kissed him. She knew she loved him, more than anything in the whole world. And she knew he loved her too. But she couldn't find the words to tell him how much she loved him.

Remus pulled her hair behind her ears, letting his fingers linger on her face, running them down her cheekbone. "You are so beautiful," he murmured.

Patricia kissed him lightly. "I can't even tell you how much I love you."

Remus ran his fingers through her hair, stroking her gently. "Neither can I."

Patricia knew Remus meant this with every inch of his heart. Remus never lied, except for when... his condition made him. "I want you to know that whatever happens between us, I could never stop loving you," she said quietly. "Ever."

Remus let a tear fall down his cheek as she said that. He had wanted to hear her say those words since the day they met. "Neither could I, Ricky. I love you."

"Oh Remus..."

Meanwhile, Harry was having a nervous breakdown. He stared at the wall. OK, he thought. Laura is Hermione's replacement, right? Right. So I shouldn't be nervous, right? Wrong. If she's Hermione's decoy, I should be nervous, because I think she's Hermione, right? Right. Yes, that's why I'm nervous.

(A/N: Okay, Harry does not want to fall in love with Laura, but can he help it?)

Harry sighed. All is right with the world again.

Or so he thought.

On the other side of Gryffindor Tower, Laura was getting nervous again. I can't dance. Harry can't dance. What are we going to do all through the Ball, just sit there? I shouldn't go, I should stay here... but I want to go! Argh!

Laura groaned. This was going to stink.

Back on the boys' side, Draco was smiling to himself. Susie was like a piece of wire he could bend. Of course, he didn't plan on doing that - all evil had left his body when Dumbledore had gotten that rotten potion out of his blood. But it was nice to have a girl who would actually listen to him again. A real girl, not a Slytherin. Pansy was just a weirdo whom he had been forced to waste his time with.

On the girls' side, Susie was swooning. Oh gosh, Draco Malfoy is so hot, she thought. (A/N: Yes, I think Draco is cool, but YECH!!!!!!!) I can't believe I'm going to the Ball with him... YIPEE! (A/N: Psycho.)

Arabella (still on the girls' side) was nervous again. What if she messed up? A best-case scenario was that no one would notice. A worst-case scenario was that everyone would notice and shun her and that she would lose her job, like Harry said.

Oh, just don't mess up in the first place and you won't have to worry about it, said a voice in her head.

Good plan, she thought. She rolled over and went to sleep.

On the boys' side again, Sirius couldn't sleep. He sighed and sat up. He missed Narcissa. A lot. A whole lot. He hadn't been able to sleep for the last week at all.

She's not coming back, he told himself. You made a decision. You're not going to let this get to you, remember?

"Yes, I remember," Sirius muttered out loud. "But I lied. I can hide it when she's there, but I can't stop it when I'm alone."

Sirius got up and looked at the picture of he and Narcissa that was on the wall. They were smiling and waving at him. Sirius collapsed onto his knees. "Why?" he choked.

At that moment a hole in the wall appeared. Remus stepped through it and closed it. He saw Sirius and stopped dead.

"Where were you?" Sirius asked.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked.

Sirius looked at the position he was in and got up. "You don't ask, I don't ask."

"Done."

They got into their respective beds and went to sleep. Or tried to. Neither of them fell asleep all night.

"Beaky... time to wake up."

"It's Saturday, Padfoot. It must be two in the morning. Go back to sleep."

"Actually, it's two in the afternoon, and I just saved you from a terrible headache, so I would be grateful if I were you."

Harry groaned and opened one eye. He yelped. Sirius's face was a fraction of an inch away from his own.

"Ugh... why can't James or Remus wake me up?" Harry groaned.

"They love to see you suffer."

Harry moaned. He got up. "There, you got me up. I'm going back to bed now."

"The Ball is in six hours," Sirius said as Harry closed his eyes. They opened again.

"Why do you always have to be right?" Harry grumbled.

"Because I'm smart."

"That's a laugh."

"Do you disgrace me all the time, or just when I'm here?"

"All the time. Wait a minute, the Ball's in six hours. I'm not a girl. I can get ready in one." Harry collapsed onto the bed again.

"Laura wants to talk to you," Sirius said, grinning evilly.

"Ugh." Too lazy to get dressed, Harry snapped his fingers and his pajamas were transfigured into robes. "I hate you."

"What else is new?"

Harry picked up a comb and Sirius said, "You own a comb?"

Harry shook his head. "No, actually this is Draco's. Either that or it's Peter's. I really hope it's the first one."

Harry took the comb and ran it through his hair and found that combing it did not help in the least. Sirius was grinning widely.

"Now I know why James doesn't own a comb," he said.

"It just grows that way!" Harry protested. He and Sirius walked down the stairs, arguing about the Potter Family Hair Curse. When they got to the common room, Laura was waiting for Harry.

"Hi," she said, smiling nervously. "Or in your case, Sirius, bye."

"How rude!" Sirius exclaimed, but he left anyway.

"Hey," Harry said, running his fingers through his hair. This only made it stick up more. He scowled up at it. It was indeed cursed.

"Have you ever heard of a hairbrush?" Laura asked.

"Yes, I have, and I spent ten minutes coming my hair," Harry sighed. "My result; worse than before."

Laura giggled. Why do girls have to giggle? Harry thought helplessly as Laura composed herself again.

"Er - I was thinking about the Ball, and I - um - was wondering if you minded if I stayed here."

Harry's face fell. "Oh. If you don't want to go with me, that's fine, I'll just go alone."

"No, it's not that..." Laura said. "It's just that the last time there was a Ball, I kept stepping on my date's toes, and he - umm - had to go to the hospital wing." Laura went red.

"Er - what coincidence," Harry said. "I danced one dance, and my date wouldn't dance with me any more."

Laura giggled. I am going to ask Lily why girls have to giggle, Harry thought. "I - I guess we don't have to dance," she said.

"I guess not."

"Harry!" came Arabella's voice. Thank you, Arabella, Harry thought as she rushed into the room.

"I have been looking for you all over... where have you been?"

"Sleeping."

"Harry, it's two thirty in the afternoon."

"Took us a while last night," Harry said.

"Oh, right... anyway, I just wanted to tell you that Celestina to say the - trigger words." Arabella smiled.

"Oh yes!" Harry said, pumping his fists. "You rock, Arabella!"

"Thank you, thank you very much," Arabella said.

"Have you told Sirius yet?"

"No... why?"

"Why? Arabella, he'll be ecstatic! He might kiss you."

"Oh, right. I forgot we were talking about Sirius. I just hope you're wrong about him kissing me. YECH!" Arabella ran away. Harry grinned to himself.

"What was that all about?" Laura asked.

"Oh - er - something me and the guys did last night," Harry said.

"A prank?"

"Maybe," Harry said, smiling innocently.

"I declare, Harry Finnigan, you are a carbon copy of James Potter."

"A lot of people say that. You could say he's my evil twin."

Laura rolled her eyes. Harry swooned. Hermione always rolled her eyes.

"Well, I hope it's not the other way around," Laura said. "Because if James Potter has a twin who is eviler than he is, woes betide us."

"I'll say."

"HARRY!" James yelled as he walked into the common room. "I heard that!"

"Good!" Harry said. "Might do you some good." Harry stuck out his tounge at James in Sirius-fashion.

"Harry, you have been hanging around Padfoot too much," James sighed. "Look at the side effects it has had on you!"

"JAMES POTTER!" Sirius yelled. "I HEARD THAT, YOU TWERP!"

"Busted," Harry said, grinning.

"YOU GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"If I don't come back, Harry," James said, "tell Remus he's a weirdo."

"Gotcha."

James took a deep breath and walked out of the common room. "They are insane," Harry said. "I have no idea why I hang around them."

"I AM NOT INSANE, HARRY!" came two angry voices.

"That's what they all say, fellows..."

"TRAITOR!"

Harry grinned. "Now I remember. Because it's fun to pick on them."

Laura giggled. Again. Harry groaned. Giggling should be made illegal, he thought.

"So..." he said. "Er - you want to play chess?"

"I guess so," Laura shrugged. They sat down at the chessboard. Laura immediately started to cream Harry. He groaned as she said, "Checkmate!" after fifteen minutes.

"You're a typical Ron," Harry muttered. "He won fifty points for 'the best-played game of chess!' And we won the House Cup because of it!" Harry didn't mention his sixty points, because he hated people fussing over him.

"I didn't know Beauxbatons held a House Cup," Laura said, frowning slightly. Harry mentally kicked himself.

"Oh - er - in our first year we were play-acting different schools so that we could learn their traditions," Harry lied. "It wasn't a big thing, really."

"Oh."

There was silence for a while. "So... I saw you at Quidditch practice the other day," Harry said. "You're really good."

"Oh, that's right, you were there... I see your leg got better."

"Yea... Madame Pomfrey fixed it up."

"You play?"

"Yea."

"What position?"

"Seeker."

Laura smiled. "I'd like to see you fly."

"Oh - er - I'm not that good," Harry lied. He had no idea why he didn't want her to see him fly. Viktor Krum had complimented him on his flying.

"I'll bet you are. What are you riding?"

"Er... I left my broom at Beauxbatons," Harry lied. "Here I'm just riding one of the school brooms."

"What have you got at home?"

"Er - Shooting Star." Harry remembered how excited Sirius had been when he fond out the Keeper had got one."

Laura's eyes widened. "Wow. Where'd you get it?"

"My godfather bought it for me."

"Awesome," she said in awe.

"What do you have?"

"Comet 260," she said. "One of the best."

"Really?"

"Yea, it shoots like a rocket."

"Could I try it out?"

Laura blushed. "I don't know... Shooting Stars outride Comets by a mile..."

"Aw, please?" Harry begged. "It's better than the school brooms."

"Oh, fine," Laura relented. "But only because I want to see you fly."

Laura grabbed her broom and they went outside. Harry mounted his broom and said, "Now, don't make fun of me."

"I won't," Laura swore. Harry kicked off and breathed. Although the Comet 260 was nothing compared to his Firebolt, it was still flying. Harry raced to the opposite end of the field and back, looping every once in a while for good measure. He did a spectacular dive and landed.

"That's a good broom," he commented. "Really fast." That was a huge lie.

"Whoa," Laura said in awe. "How do you fly like that?"

"I'm not very good," Harry said.

"You're amazing!" Laura said. She couldn't believe she had been afraid to talk to Harry before. He flew like the wind blew. Aw, well, Quidditch over hormones, she thought. "Can you teach me how to dive like that?"

"It's easy," Harry said. "Get over here."

Laura ran over to where he was standing. He picked her up and placed her on the broom in from of him. "Hold on," he said, kicking off.

"Harry!" Laura shouted. "What are you doing???"

"Teaching you how to dive. Hold on tight!" Harry dove, clutching the broom handle tightly. Just before they hit the ground, Harry pulled out by pulling his broom up quickly. He did a loop and landed. Laura was laughing.

"That was amazing!" she gasped. "How do you dive that far down?"

"When you're about three feet from the ground, you pull up quickly," Harry shrugged. "Just comes naturally to me."

"Naturally?" Laura said. "I've never seen anyone fly like that with practicing! How can you do that?"

"How can you do Potions?" Harry shrugged. "I just got on a broom when I was eleven and - well, they put me on a Quidditch team."

"You must win every match."

"Not every one. I lost one once."

"One match??? That practically makes you undefeated!"

"Like I said, it just comes naturally," Harry shrugged.

"I'll never understand you, Harry Finnigan," Laura said, shaking her head.

"Few people do, Laura. Few people do."

Harry noticed that Laura kept shivering. "You want to go inside?" Harry asked.

"Yea," Laura said, shuddering with cold.

"Here." Harry put his scarf around her neck and swept her onto the broom. "Grip hard!" Laura laughed as she and Harry zoomed to the window of the Gryffindor common room.

"Alohomora," Harry muttered. The window opened. Laura slid off the broom and into the window, with Harry behind her.

Laura laughed. "That was wonderful!" she said.

Harry smiled at her. She was even better than Hermione. Hermione hated flying. No, don't start that again, Harry scolded himself.

The clock chimed six thirty. "Oh gosh, I've got to get ready for the Ball!" Laura exclaimed. "I'll see you in an hour and a half, okay?"

"Yea," Harry said, smile widening somewhat thinking of Snape. "Yea, okay."

Harry watched as Laura dashed up the stairs. Then he dashed up the other ones.

Sirius, James, Remus, Draco, and the rat smiled at him as he walked in. "Flying on a broomstick with Laura, eh?" Sirius said.

"Sirius, I was just showing her a Wronski Feint," Harry said, going red.

"Where'd you learn to fly like that?" James said in awe.

Harry shrugged. "It just comes naturally."

"Amazing," Remus said, shaking his head.

"Just a Wronski Feint, eh, Harry?" Draco asked.

"Yes, Boa, just a Wronski Feint," Harry snapped. "I never knew Comet 260s went that fast..."

"They don't," Peter said.

"You went faster than a Shooting Star," James said. "I've never seen anyone fly that fast."

Maybe you speeded it up, Harry, being Harry Potter and all.

Draco smirked. Harry made a face at him. "Shut up, Malfoy."

"I love that," Draco sighed. "Such rhythm!"

"We'd better get ready," Remus said. "It'll take you at least half an hour to get that hair flat, James, and you too, Harry."

"It just grows that way, okay?" said James and Harry.

"Here you go, boys, thank me later," Sirius said, shoving bottles of Sleakeazy's into their hands. "You two owe me big..."

"Thanks, Sir," James said. He walked over to the mirror and started applying the gel to his hair.

"Starting Mission Impossible, dear?" the mirror asked. The room howled with laughter.

"Oh shut up, all of you," James said, putting more of the gel on his hair. It kept springing back up again. Soon the whole bottle was gone and James's hair was almost as greasy as Snape's, but it was still sticking up.

"Total waste," Sirius said. "You try, Harry."

Harry put a small amount of the gel into his hand and applied it to his hair. It flattened immediately. Harry smirked at James.

"I hate you," he mumbled. "Help me."

Harry sighed and pushed James's hair down. It stayed. "How did you do that?" James cried.

Harry winked at him. "It's magic."

"Ugh. I hate you. Help me get the rest of this stuff out of my hair."

Harry performed a charm to make James's hair less greasy. "Now, why can't Snape learn to do that charm?" Harry sighed. "He can do Dark magic, but he can't perform a Greaseless Charm."

"Why can't he do it? He's a stupid git, that's why!" Remus exclaimed.

"Oh yea. I knew that."

"Everyone knows that," Peter said.

Harry shrugged and pulled on the deep green dress robes he had borrowed from Sirius. The rest of them followed suit.

"Five of," Remus said. "Time to go."

They walked down into the common room, where all of the fourth years and up were scrambling to find their dates. Harry scanned the crowd but did not see any sign of the fifth year girls, so they all sat down. Peter left to go find his Hufflepuff date.

When Arabella, Lily, Susie, and Laura entered the common room, all of the boys' jaws dropped. Arabella was wearing a light blue dress that blended well with her brown hair. Her brown eyes sparkled. The dress was made of silk, and shimmered when she moved. She was carrying her guitar.

Susie, on the other hand, had a dress of deep purple. She was wearing a diamond tiara. Her blue eyes and blond hair went well with the shade of the dress. Draco gazed at her wide-eyed.

Lily was wearing a light green dress that was a few shades lighter than her eyes. It was also made of silk, and it the ends billowed out. The sleeves were only three quarters full, but she had a dark green shawl to keep herself warm. James almost fainted.

Laura, though: Harry was sure she was an angel in disguise. Her hair was like how Hermione's had been at the Yule Ball, but there were jeweled barrettes holding it back. She had a dress of pale pink, with three-quarter sleeves like Lily's, but there were frills that hung on the end, brushing her skin ever so lightly. She was clutching a pink purse. Harry gasped.

"Hi," the girls said.

"You look stunning tonight, ladies," Sirius said.

It suddenly hit Harry that Sirius was going alone. He looked at Sirius and read his thoughts.

God, are they all beautiful. I wish Nar were here.

Harry felt really sorry for Sirius. He gave his hand a squeeze. Sirius stared at him. "You didn't just..." he whispered.

Harry nodded sheepishly. "Listen, I'm fine, okay?" Sirius whispered.

"Yea... whatever." Harry shook his head. Poor Sirius.

"You're dazzling," Remus said with a slight smile.

"Whoa," said Draco, Harry, and James as one. The girls giggled. Harry groaned.

"Well, are we going to go or are you just going to sit there?" Arabella asked. "Come on!"

Arabella went in the lead, with Sirius and Remus behind her. James took Lily's arm and kissed her cheek, leading her out of the common room. Draco took Susie's hand and led her after them.

Harry, finally pulling himself together, took Laura's hand and smiled at her. "You look - beautiful," he whispered. She went red.

"Thanks. We'd better go."

"Yea." Harry led her after Draco and Susie. They were silent for the whole way to the Great Hall.

When they got to the Great Hall, most of the school was waiting for the doors to open. Arabella went straight up to the front. Remus stood on his tiptoes, scanning the crowd for Patricia. Finding her, Remus beckoned for her to come over. She did.

"Hey," he said, taking her hand. "You - you look beautiful."

She did indeed. Patricia was wearing a pure white dress with a pure white fur shawl. They brought out the blue of her eyes and the brown of her hair.

"You're not so bad yourself, Prince Charming," Patricia said, giving Remus a kiss on the cheek. Sirius snorted.

"Not a word," Patricia said, shaking her finger at him.

"Right..." Sirius said. Patricia rolled her eyes.

"Why do you hang out with him, Remus?"

"I have no idea," Remus said.

Suddenly the doors opened. An eighteen-year old sorceress stood on a stage. Arabella pulled up a chair out of the spotlight and took out her guitar. Harry gave her a thumbs-up. She winked.

Celestina started to sing a slow song. Harry, Laura, and Sirius watched as all the couples got up to dance. Sirius noticed that most of the Slytherins were not dancing and pouted. His prank would have to wait until later. The song ended, and Sirius hoped the Slytherins would dance this time.

Sirius squealed with joy as he saw all the Slytherins stand up. He elbowed Harry, who gave Arabella the signal. Arabella coughed loudly. Celestina turned around and Arabella winked at her. Celestina winked back.

Celestina said, "I got this song from a Muggle radio, and I thought it seemed to fit." She started to sing:

Do you believe in magic?

In a young girl's heart,

How the music can free her,

Whenever it starts and it's

Magic.

If the music is groovy it

Makes you feel happy like an

Old time movie.

I'll tell you about magic,

It'll free you soul,

But it's like trying to tell a stranger about a

Rock and roll.

If you believe in magic...

Suddenly there was a squawk from four Slytherins. Their hands were over their butts. Fortunately (for the Gryffindors), poop started to seep through their fingers. The entire Great Hall rang with laughter. Celestina covered her eyes in fake disgust as she continued to sing. The four Slytherins ran from the Hall.

Sirius tried not to act to suspicious. He failed. He cracked up. The rest of the Marauders (minus Ratboy) and their dates came over to the table they had been sitting at and howled with laughter.

"Wait, let me guess. That was what you were up to last night," Laura told Harry.

"Yup," Harry said proudly. "Sirius, you are brilliant. That was pure genius."

"Thank you," Sirius said. "See, Harry's seeing sense!"

"Seeing sense? I think he'll be seeing a shrink pretty soon," Lily said, feeling Harry's forehead.

They all gave Arabella, who was having problems playing guitar while laughing so hard, thumbs-ups. She winked at them, snorting again.

Celestina ended the song. Laura, Patricia, and Susie looked at the boys.

"You guys are so mean," Susie said. The boys put on sad faces.

"And we love it," Patricia said, grinning. "That was spectacular! Was that the Pooping Potion from Potions?"

Sirius nodded proudly. "It was my idea."

"The twisted one is correct," Remus said.

"But he shall probably never be correct again," James added dramatically.

"Of course not!" Draco said, sounding horrified.

"The world would end first!" Harry exclaimed.

"I am not twisted," Sirius said.

"That's what they all say, Padfoot, that's what they all say..." Draco and Harry said together, smiling at him innocently.

Celestina, still acting as if she was going to be sick, started another slow dance. Lily, James, Remus, Patricia, Susie, and Draco went to dance. Harry looked at Laura nervously.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked tentatively. Laura bit her lip.

"I don't know... I'm not very good."

"Neither am I. But it's better than just sitting here all night, right?"

Laura smiled. "Right." Harry took her hand and they walked onto the dance floor.

It turned out they danced beautifully together. Their feet, while still going in a different direction than with other dancers, seemed to... comprehend with each other. They did not step on each other's toes once. Laura had her hands placed delicately around Harry's neck. Harry's hands were placed gently on her hips. The song ended, and Harry smiled.

"Want to stay on for one more?"

"Sure," Laura said dreamily.

"I also got this off a Muggle radio," Celestina said. "I found it... interesting."

Celestina started to sing:

Yea, yea, yea, yea...

Oh... Oh...

Every time you're near baby,

I get kinda crazy in my head for you,

I don't know what to do.

And oh baby,

I get kinda shaky when they mention you,

I just lose my cool.

My friends tell me something has come over me,

And I think I know what it is...

I think I'm in love.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

And I'll be doing silly things when it comes to you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

I've been telling all my friends what I feel for you.

Just the other night baby

I saw you hanging you were with your crew,

I was with mine too.

You took me by surprise,

When you turned and looked me in the eyes,

Oh you really blew my mind.

I don't know what's gotten into me,

But I think I know what is...

I think I'm in love.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

And I'll be doing silly things when it comes to you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

I've been telling all my friends what I feel for you.

I think I'm in love.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

And I'll be doing silly things when it comes to you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

I've been telling all my friends what I feel for you.

Something strange has come over me,

Got me going out of my mind.

Never met a guy like you before,

You make me feel special inside...

I think I'm in love.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

And I'll be doing silly things when it comes to you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

I've been telling all my friends what I feel for you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

And I'll be doing silly things when it comes to you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

I've been telling all my friends what I feel for you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

And I'll be doing silly things when it comes to you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

I've been telling all my friends what I feel for you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

And I'll be doing silly things when it comes to you.

Boy I think that I'm in love with you,

I've been telling all my friends what I feel for you...

(A/N: Yes, I realize this song is extraordinarily out of date, but I thought it kind of fit this situation, okay?)

Laura went very, very red as the song ended. "Let's sit down now," Laura said meekly.

"Yea," Harry mumbled. When they went back to their table, they found Sirius getting up. Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

"I told you I'm fine, Harry," Sirius mumbled.

"Whatever," Harry sighed. Sirius went over to James and Lily and tapped James on the shoulder.

"May I cut in?" he said dramatically.

"Yes, but if you step on her toes you'll be sorry," James said, winking at Lily. James went to sit down. Lily looked at Sirius strangely.

"What's up, Sir?"

"Did you see Harry and Laura together?" Sirius muttered, pretending to step on Lily's toes to make James mad.

"Yes, I did," Lily said. "They're perfect together."

"Lily, Harry's fallen. Hard."

"So? That's his business, not yours."

"Lils, Laura is twenty years older than Harry. They can't get together."

Lily bit her lip. "You're right. This is bad."

"No, really? Maybe that's why I told you."

"Look at them," Lily said. Harry and Laura were laughing at some joke James had told them. "They're just meant for each other."

"I know. But I think Harry might be acting. You know how he's over the moon about that Hermione girl?"

"Yea..."

"Well, he said Laura looks just like her. Maybe that's why he's doing that. I know that was his original plan, but," Sirius sighed, "I'm not sure if he's fallen or not."

Lily sighed. "What are we supposed to do, Sirius?"

"I don't know. I just don't know."

Meanwhile, Remus and Patricia were slow dancing. (A/N: Sorry I have so much R/P, but Remus rocks, and I thought it was quite an original ship. Also, not a lot of fics I have read feature Remus in love, so I did my own thing, ok?) Patricia rested her head on Remus's shoulder. Remus twirled her hair around his finger. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Patricia muttered.

"Ouch!" Remus said suddenly, looking behind him. "Watch where you're going, Sirius!"

"Well, sor-ree," Sirius said.

"Go be crazy somewhere else, Padfoot," Remus sighed.

"How rude!" Sirius said. "I just wanted to point out to you a certain someone with a certain someone else who is too old for that certain someone," Sirius said, jerking his head towards the table where Laura and Harry were sitting, laughing and talking together.

Remus shook his head and groaned. "No... she's fallen... Patricia, do you mind if I go for a minute... Harry is such an idiot for asking her..."

"Sure," Patricia shrugged. "I'll get some butterbeer."

"Sirius, what are we supposed to do?" Remus hissed.

"Why is everyone asking me that?" Sirius said. "I'm the weird one, remember?"

"Yes, you are, but there's a brain in there somewhere."

Sirius sighed. "I don't know what to do, Moony. This wasn't supposed to work out this way."

"I know... go tell Draco, maybe he'll think of something."

"Why am I always the messenger?"

"Have you got anything better to do?"

Sirius groaned. "No... just wishful thinking. Have you seen Draco anywhere?"

"I think he and Susie are over there," Remus said, pointing to a corner of the Hall. "I saw them over there fifteen minutes ago."

"Yes, yes, I'm off to play Pony Express again," Sirius grumbled as he walked away. Patricia walked back over, clutching two butterbeers.

"What was that about?" she asked, handing him one.

"Harry and Laura," Remus sighed. "Don't ask."

"I don't have to," Patricia said, watching the two of them together. "They're perfect together."

"Yes, that's the problem."

"What?"

"Ricky, Laura is twenty years older than Harry."

"Oh, that's right... that's bad."

"Yea..."

"The Pony Express has arrived," Sirius said to Draco as he walked up to him.

"Oh what do you want, Sir?" Draco sighed.

"A pony, a million Galleons, a rubber ducky..."

Susie rolled her eyes. "Go away, Sirius."

Sirius jerked his head towards Harry and Laura's table. Draco's mouth fell open.

"Twerp!" he said. "But... Dumbledore's charm..."

"I had forgotten about that!" Sirius said. "But... what? That doesn't make any sense!"

"What are you two talking about?" Susie asked.

"Nothing, nothing... Sirius, what are we supposed to do?"

"Is everyone expecting me to come up with a solution?" Sirius sighed.

"Sirius!" panted a new voice. James ran up to them. "Draco! Ugh... have you been watching them?"

"Yes," Sirius said. "And no, I'm not playing messenger boy any more. I've gone from Lily to Remus to Draco, and my feet hurt."

"You boys are insane," Susie said, shaking her head.

"Thanks," James mumbled. "I appreciate that comment. It was so necessary."

"Jamsie is not in a good mood," Sirius whispered to her.

"I'll kill you later, Sirius, I can't spare the time now," James sighed. "What are we...?"

"I don't know!" Sirius said. "Do I look like a miracle worker?"

"No, you look like an idiot," Draco said. "But you always do."

"Too true," James muttered. "But that's not our problem right now. Our problem is that." James jerked his head towards Laura and Harry.

"Mungo's calls..." Susie said nonchalantly.

"Girls," Sirius sighed. "This is supposed to be the stuff they're good at."

Meanwhile, unaware of the number of people worrying about them, Harry and Laura were having a grand time. Harry, knowing the fact that Lily and Draco would kill him if they ever found out, told Laura about some of the adventures he, Ron, and Hermione had had, never revealing that they hadn't happened yet, nor the fact that his name wasn't Harry Finnigan... surprisingly, he didn't let anything slip.

"And then the queen got Ron," Harry said, wincing slightly at the memory.

"Was he okay?" Laura asked tensely.

"He was knocked out, but otherwise fine. Then Hermione and I had to go on. We went through the door, and there were a whole bunch of bottles."

"What was in them?" Laura asked, entranced.

"Potions. There was a riddle, it was logic, and Hermione solved it. There was one bottle for going through the next door and one for going back, but they were mixed up between poisons, you see. Hermione went back to get Ron, and I went on to the final chamber."

Laura gulped. "Was Snarret in there?" (A/N: Harry told Laura the Potion master's name was Snarret.)

Harry shook his head. "No. Believe it or not, it was our DADA teacher, Quir - Quirtemn."

"What?" Laura said. "A DADA teacher?"

"Yes," Harry sighed. "But..." Harry stopped abruptly. He realized he couldn't tell Laura about Voldemort and Quirrell's turban, because as of 1974, Voldemort still had a body.

"But what?"

"But Quirtemn was evil," he said. "He wanted to have the Stone for himself. He tied me up. Then there was the mirror..." Harry gulped, remembering what he had seen in the mirror the first time, "the mirror of Erised."

"The Mirror of Erised?" Laura gasped. "I never thought it was real."

"It is. It's very real. Do you know what it does?"

"Of course," Laura said. "It says it on the top, doesn't it? I show not your face..."

"... But your heart's desire," Harry finished quietly. (A/N: If you don't know what they're talking about, take a closer look at Chapter Twelve, SS/PS.)

"What did you see?" Laura asked hushed.

"Well, at that moment, I saw myself, holding the Stone. And it fell into my pocket." Harry sighed. "But, before that... I saw my parents."

"Sorry," Laura whispered.

"It's all right," Harry sighed.

"Wait a minute- the Stone fell into your pocket?"

"The Mirror had been charmed so that only those who wanted to find it, not use it, could get it," Harry said.

"But wouldn't Quirtemn try to get it?"

"He did," Harry said, "but when he touched me, his hands blistered. He couldn't tolerate my touch. I saw my chance and grabbed his face."

"What kind of magic is that?" Laura asked, clearly confused.

Harry closed his eyes and thought back to when he had first asked that question. "Love," he whispered. "Love. My mother - she died to save me. Quirtemn, who was purely evil, could not understand it, and therefore it was his weakness."

"I'm sorry," Laura said. "I shouldn't have asked."

"It's all right." Harry glanced at Lily, who was dancing with James. "I've gotten over it. As much as I ever will, anyway."

"Wow," Laura muttered. "You were only in your first year?"

"Yea. It was no big deal, really."

"You're so... modest. You can fly like a bird..." Harry grinned and thought, You don't know the half of it, "... and you say that practically saving the world isn't a big deal."

Harry shrugged. "I didn't save the world." That time, he thought miserably.

Laura rolled her eyes. Harry looked at her. She was gorgeous. NO! Harry thought furiously. NO! Don't start that again! Not Laura, not Laura, Harry, you will not fall for Laura, you will not fall for Laura, no, no, NO!

Nevertheless, Harry found himself saying, "Do you - wanna go for a walk?"

Laura hesitated, but then said meekly, "Okay."

Harry took her hand and they walked outside, oblivious of five Gryffindors groaning behind them.

Harry and Laura stepped outside, breathing the cool fall air deeply. They sat down at the edge of the lake and gazed at the stars.

"Look," Harry said, pointing up, "it's the Big Dipper."

"Oh, I see you know your constellations," Laura said sarcastically.

"I try, you know," Harry said in a very Draco-like tone.

"Do you know what that one is?" Laura asked, pointing at the sky.

"I always forget that one's name," Harry said sheepishly.

"Cancer," Laura said. "It's my favorite. It's my sign, you know."

"Really? I'm a Leo, myself. I think. Astronomy was never my strength."

Laura laughed and looked up at the sky, only just noticing her head was on Harry's shoulder. She moved it quickly, but found it right back there again ten seconds later, as if some magnetic force was dragging her to him. This time, however, she let it stay. It was now or never. She liked Harry, maybe even more than that, and she wanted to find out if he felt the same.

Harry looked down at Laura in surprise and happiness. Does that mean she - no, think Hermione. Hermione. Hermione. I will not fall for Laura. I will not fall for Laura. I think I have fallen for Laura. Harry groaned inwardly.

"You're amazing, Harry," Laura said.

"Not as amazing as you."

"Me? I study. I play Quidditch. In a word, I'm boring."

"No, you're not," Harry whispered. "Not to me." Laura looked up at Harry, and slowly their lips brushed, they started to kiss, but Harry moved away quickly, breathing hard.

"No," he muttered. "No, no, I can't... not with Hermione... no, no, no, this isn't happening... not when you're thirty... damn... Laura, I can't I'm sorry, I don't want to do this but... sorry." Harry got up and ran as fast as he could, leaving a heart-broken Laura behind.

Harry ran in no direction in particular, but found himself in front of the Marauders' secret room. "Ugly monkeys," he muttered. The portrait hole opened and Harry walked in, leaving the door open as he muttered, "Accio Marauders' Map."

He definitely did not want anyone to find him right now. The piece of parchment zoomed into his hand and he closed the door. Setting the Marauders' Map aside, he collapsed onto a chair and put his head in his hands.

He had only asked Laura to the Ball because she looked like Hermione, to console him. Laura had consoled him, but not like Hermione would have; it was a way all of her own.

Had he fallen for Laura? Was that possible? She was twenty years older than him, after all... could it be? But what about the charm Draco had told him about? Suddenly Harry felt like he was going to be sick. Whether he had fallen for Laura or not, he had still hurt her feelings badly... the night had been a total disaster...

The clock chimed midnight. Harry barely noticed. Suddenly he saw the Marauders' Map rocket across the room. Someone had Summoned it. They were looking for him. Harry held out his hand, thankful for his Quidditch reflexes. The map zoomed back to him. He caught it and gripped it tightly. It pulled from him, and for a second Harry thought it might tear. But it went limp; whoever had tried to Summon it had given up. Harry put it back in his pocket and started to mope again.

Harry? Harry? HARRY! Come on, you've got to be there somewhere! HARRY!

Draco, come on, you're hurting my head, and he's not answering.

Don't look for me. Please.

HARRY! What's wrong, Harry? Where are you?

Harry went silent. They knew he was alive, and they didn't need to know any more.

If you're not going to tell us where you are, we're going to find you anyway, Harry, even if it takes all night!

Malfoy, I'm fine. Not hurt. Please don't try to find me. Say Happy Birthday to Remus for me. Harry put a Concealment Charm on himself before Draco could answer.

Feeling miserable and confused, Harry lost track of time. After what seemed like a few minutes to Harry but what was really an hour, the portrait opened. Harry did not look up. He didn't want to know who it was.

"HARRY!" Definitely Draco, Harry thought. "You stupid prat! We have been looking for you for the last hour!"

Harry just shook his head. He looked up at Draco. There was relief in his eyes. "Do it," Harry said.

"What?"

"Do the charm you did on me when I thought I was in love with Lily. Do it again."

"But why-"

"You know. Just do it. I trust you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay... Sturatina Patrunia Glabrous," Draco muttered. Harry's body went limp. Draco set him up straight again.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Who are you in love with?"

"Laura Hillman."

Draco's jaw practically fell to the floor. "But - but - that's impossible... Ennervate."

Harry's eyes opened. They closed again when he saw Draco's eyes. "Laura," he said simply.

"Yea," Draco said lamely. "But that's impossible!"

"Have we ever been people to stay within the limits, Draco?"

"I wouldn't say that..."

"What am I supposed to do?" Harry groaned. "She's out there crying somewhere, but I can't go back to her, not if she doesn't know about me... what can I do, Draco?"

Draco took a deep breath before answering. "Just go and tell her, Harry. If she doesn't listen, she's not worth the trouble, you hear me?"

"I guess you're right," Harry sighed. "But Draco - she's twenty years older than me. She's old enough to be my mother."

"No, really?" Draco said sarcastically. "Yes, falling in love with a thirty-five year old may be a little nerve-racking for a fifteen year-old, but if it's worth the trouble... who cares?"

"Ron will. He'll think I'm bonkers."

"Well, you are, aren't you?"

"Hehe. Notice I'm not really laughing." (A/N: That line belongs to Ms. Lau, who belongs to herself.)

"Come on, Harry, just go. If she won't listen to you, she's not worth the trouble."

"What if she listens to me but still hates me?"

"That's why Memory Charms were invented, Beaky, my friend."

Harry sighed. "I guess you're right. What have I got to lose? Thanks."

Still shaking his head at his stupidity, Harry walked out, hoping this would be easier than he thought. "Good luck," Draco called after him.

Looking around to make sure no one was watching, Harry Apparated to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. From behind a tree, Harry could see that Laura was still out there, crying into her hands. Harry felt a pang of guilt and bit his lip. He took a deep breath and walked over to her slowly.

"Laura?" he said quietly.

"I never want to see you or speak to you again, Harry Finnigan," Laura sniffed. "Just go."

"Laura, please, just listen to me," Harry pleaded. "I swear, I'm so, so, so sorry... I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."

"I know your kind, Finnigan. You go about, breaking girls' hearts like there's no tomorrow. Well, I won't have it. Just leave."

Harry sat down next to her, not touching her, but still close enough for her to inch away. "If it makes you feel any better," Harry said quietly, "I've never had a girlfriend in my life. Ever."

"I don't believe you."

"I wish you would," Harry sighed. "But I haven't given you much reason to trust me, have I?"

"You haven't given me any reason to trust you, and I was a fool for trusting you anyway."

Harry tried to keep the hurt look off his face but failed. He stared into the lake, thinking just how right she was.

"You're right," Harry said quietly. "No one should trust anyone until they know them well enough. And I shouldn't trust you with what I'm about to tell you, but I will, because I'm that kind of person who's stupid enough to do it."

"You're right about two things. I'm right, and yes, you are stupid, Finnigan."

Harry put his face in his hands and mumbled something under his breath. "What'd you say?" Laura snapped.

"My name's not Harry Finnigan."

Laura looked at him strangely. "You're dumber than I thought. Of course it is."

"No, it isn't."

"Then what is it?"

"Harry Potter."

"Your name is Harry Finnigan."

"My name is Harry Potter."

"Prove it."

"I can't," Harry sighed. "Not yet."

"And why not yet?"

"Because I haven't been born yet."

"Yes, you are insane, Finnigan," Laura said. "An insane, stupid, idiotic player who tries to get strangers to kiss him."

"Look, Laura, I can explain," Harry said. "I came back in time through a Time Potion with Draco, I'm really from 1995. I killed Voldemort in 1981, which is how I got landed with this scar. My parents are Lily and James, and they're dead. Sirius is my godfather; he was blamed for Lily and James's death, even though it was Peter, so he's on the run because he escaped from Azkaban. I'm a Bade, a mind reader, and an Animagus. I was the youngest Seeker in a century on the Gryffindor team, I'm a Parselmouth, and I'm the heir of Gryffindor. What else is there? All the stuff I told you about the Sorcerer's Stone is true, I really do go to Hogwarts, I won the Triwizard Tournament last year, Arabella is my neighbor, I faced Voldemort four times and lived, I opened the Chamber of Secrets, and Draco thinks it's important for me to say I have a nice broom. And that's without going into details."

Laura raised an eyebrow. "You're lying."

Harry shook his head. "As much as I wish I was, I'm not. And this time I can prove it. Watch." Harry took a deep breath and transformed into a hawk. He flew around in a circle to stretch his wings, and then landed and changed back. "Right now you're thinking that you're seeing things. And," Harry snapped his fingers and a snake appeared. He hissed something to it. It hissed back, and then looked at her and nodded. Harry snapped his fingers again and it disappeared. "Is that enough for you?"

Instead of being happy because Harry had told her the truth, she took the opposite point of view. "Why'd you lie to me?"

Harry sat down again and looked into the lake. "I promised Dumbledore. I didn't want to lie, you know. I really was born and raised in Britain. You really are like Hermione. And - " Harry's voice faltered. How could he tell her? "And - I - I - "

"Oh just spit it out," Laura snapped.

"I - I - "

"Hurry up already!"

"I think I love you," Harry whispered. "There, I said it. I'll go crawl under a rock now. I'm really, really sorry, Laura, for all the pain I've caused you. You couldn't even guess how much." Harry put his face in his hands and started to walk away. Laura saw a single tear fall to the ground.

"Harry, stop," Laura said. "Come back."

Harry stopped in his tracks and wheeled around to face her. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Come here." Harry sat down next to her, hands shoved in his pockets. "The only pain you've ever caused me," Laura said quietly, "came from lying to me. Are you sorry?"

Harry looked into the lake. "Of course I'm sorry, Laura. I hate lying to anyone. It makes me feel - I don't know - nasty. Wicked. I was lied to for ten years, and I know what it feels like." Harry shifted uncomfortably and watched as Laura's expression remained blank.

Laura's mouth opened like she was going to say something, but nothing came out. She closed it again, looking at the lake and closing her eyes. "You're a good person, Harry, the best person I've met since I-don't-know-when. Probably ever. But - I just don't understand you. For all I know, you could be a lying Dark wizard. Not that I think you are," she added quickly. To her astonishment, Harry chuckled.

"Lying Dark wizard, eh? Oh, would that make Draco laugh."

"Well, you could be!"

Harry's face grew serious again. "I'm not."

"Prove it."

Harry closed his eyes and looked at her. "I've never tried this before. It might not work. For all I know, I could end up killing myself. If this," Harry gestured at his scar, "turns red, it means I'm a Dark wizard. If it doesn't - well, I can't be sure what will happen. It's different for everyone." Harry, never taking his eyes off Laura, rolled his hand like he was making a snowball. When he pulled his hands away, there was a ball of blinding light. Laura squinted and saw Harry wave his hand. It went through him, right to his heart. Harry looked expectant. Suddenly his smile drooped.

"It didn't work," he sighed. "I was sure it would - " Harry was cut off as he gasped. His scar felt like it was splitting in two. Harry fell to his knees as he clutched his scar. He didn't notice that he was glowing white, although Laura did, and she watched as he gasped for breath.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Harry."

Harry tried to say something, but the words got stuck in his throat. He was struggling not to scream. Suddenly there was a pop and Draco appeared out of nowhere, also glowing white, clutching his throat tightly.

"What - in - bloody - hell - did - you - do?" Draco stuttered.

"Magic - duh," Harry wheezed.

"No - really?"

"Yes - really."

"Sarcasm - learn - it."

Sorry I'm not sarcastic enough for you, Draco.

You should be.

Shut up.

What spell did you do?

One I looked up... it shouldn't have triggered our Oath, though...

We can puzzle it later, what's the countercurse???

Finite Incantantem.

Draco's hands fell to his side and Harry's scar started hurting. They stood up.

"You can be really stupid sometimes, Beaky."

"At least I'm not stupid all the time, like someone can mention."

"Harry, it's not nice to talk about Sirius behind his back."

Harry snorted. "Why your neck?"

Draco immediately knew what Harry meant. Raising an eyebrow at Laura, he pointed at his neck with one hand and at the moon with the other. It took Harry a moment to get the connection.

"Oh so it hit you there... oh. I'm really sorry, Boa. I didn't know that would happen."

"Which is precisely why you are a stupid git, Harry," Draco snapped. "What did you do anyway?"

Laura thought I was a Dark wizard.

"She couldn't have," Draco said firmly. "You're a Gryffindor, Harry."

"So are you, here," Harry snapped.

"Alas, you're right. I am so ashamed."

"Oh shut up Malfoy," Harry snapped.

Laura cleared her throat. "Oh - uh - Draco's got to be going now, hasn't he?" Harry said quickly.

"I have?" Draco said absentmindedly.

"You know that - thing you have to do. That really important thing. Take a hint, Boa," he added under his breath.

"OH!" Draco said. "THAT thing... yes, nice seeing you, I'll kill you for that later, Beaky... tata!" Draco Disapparated.

"You are the strangest person I have ever met, Harry Finnigan, or Potter, oh I really don't care. And I haven't figured out whether that's a good or bad thing yet." And I don't know if I ever will.

Harry slunk down onto the ground again. "You don't want me."

"I didn't say that."

"You don't though, do you? That's what you think of me."

"How did you...?"

Harry pointed at his head, and then at hers.

"Oh." They sat in silence for a long time. "Are you and Draco really from the future?"

"Yea," Harry sighed, running his finger up and down his scar. "Yea, we are."

"But did you really - you know - defeat You-Know-Who?"

"Yes, that's me, the famous Harry Potter. Look, scar and all. Of course, that's all that really matters, right? Nothing going on underneath the scar matters, does it? Oh, of course not, Harry Potter's just so perfect in every way, how could he need help with something?" Harry picked up a rock and threw it into the lake with all his might. It made a gigantic splash.

Laura looked at Harry carefully. His eyes were watering. "Harry, look at me." Harry looked up and into her eyes. Harry's eyes were bright green. Just like Lily's, she thought.

"Aren't they?" Harry said quietly. "People always tell me I have my mother's eyes."

"So... Lily and James really are your parents?"

"Yea," Harry sighed. "They're dead. I live with my aunt and uncle."

"Are they good to you?"

"Good to me?" Harry laughed. "That's a laugh. They locked in my bedroom the summer before second year."

"Oh, Harry, that's awful!" Laura found herself hugging Harry tightly.

"It's okay, really," Harry said. "I survived, see?"

Laura surveyed Harry. She decided now was a good time to bring it up. "Do you - do you really love me?"

Harry's expression hardened. He looked away from her and found himself talking to his knees. "Yea," he said softly. "I think I really do. I've made the mistake before. But I can't fall in love with you, Laura. It would change history. And I fear I already might've. For all I know, maybe you were supposed to go to this ball with... say, Amos Diggory. Maybe you're Cedric Diggory's mum and I've just made it so he never exists. Of course, I killed him anyway, so it wouldn't make much of a difference, would it? I can't be with you. You're twenty years older than me, Laura. Oh how Ron would laugh if I told him I kissed a thirty-five year old."

"Harry, listen to me. You say you think you love me. I - I - I think I love you too." Laura's voice faltered as she said this. (A/N: Just to clarify, SummrMagic, nothing extreme is going to happen between Harry and Laura, and no, Laura is not Hermione's mum, that would be oh-so-gross, but you're on the right track... Hermione's mum will be important in the sequel... yes; I've got one planned already.) "I - I want you. I really wouldn't care if I were fifty years older than you. You're just you, Harry, and - and that's what I want."

"Laura," Harry whispered, "I can't put you through that. My heart won't let me. I'm leaving in a month and a half, Laura, and when I do, no one here will remember anyone named Harry Potter ever set foot here. Lily and James would be in danger, and Narcissa too. Narcissa is Draco's mum," Harry added quickly.

Laura set her head on Harry's shoulder. "Please," she whispered. "Please. It's what I want."

"Humans have a knack of choosing exactly what is worst for them," Harry muttered.

"Harry, please," Laura begged. "You're not listening to me, Harry! I'm serious."

Harry looked into Laura's eyes. "Are you - are you sure?"

"I've been sure," Laura said solemnly.

Harry slowly brought his lips down to hers. This time neither of them moved. When Harry pulled away again, his eyes were closed.

"I lied," he whispered. "I know I'm in love with you."

Laura looked up into his eyes. They were shining with truth. I guess I really am in love, she thought, smiling at him suddenly. I guess that's what it feels like.

"If you're feeling like your heart is going to explode, it is," Harry said.

"Now that," Laura sighed, "is going to take me a while to get used to. It's just plain weird, Harry."

Harry shrugged. "Yea. I'm a weird guy."

"Weird and handsome," Laura said, her eyes shining.

Harry kissed Laura again. She was so warm, he thought. So beautiful.

"You want to know something?" Harry said.

"What's that?" Laura asked, leaning her head on Harry's shoulder.

"I've never met someone who made me feel this way," Harry muttered. "Ever."

"Neither have I," Laura whispered. The two of them sat in silence for a while. Suddenly Harry heard a voice in his head.

OH LOVERBOY!!! SIRIUS WANTS YOU TO COME UP HERE SO WE CAN SURPRISE REMUS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!!!

"ARGH!" Harry said, holding his head. "DRACO!"

I am going to get you for that, Draco!

Oh, I'm so scared!

You should be... ouch... I'll be up in a minute, okay?

Draco Malfoy I am going to kill you... my head...

OW! Lily, that hurt!

Good, it was supposed to!

"Go Lily!" Harry said out loud. Laura looked at him like he was crazy.

"Oh, Laura, long story... you don't happen to have an aspirin with you, do you?"

"No," Laura said strangely. "Why?"

"Er... Draco, Lily, and I can communicate telepathically, you see, and Draco has been taking advantage of that and enjoyed giving Lily and I huge headaches," Harry explained. He snapped his fingers and a bottle of aspirin appeared. He dumped three into his mouth. "I've got to go, Laura, or Sir will kill me... it's for Remus's birthday."

"Oh, all right," Laura said, smiling sheepishly. "And Harry... if people ask, are we... you know... together?"

Harry's face hardened. "Do you want to be?"

"Yes," Laura said so quietly Harry could barely hear her.

"Then we are. I love you."

"I love you too."

Harry Apparated into the Gryffindor common room. "You shouldn't do that, Harry," Lily groaned. "What if someone sees you?"

"Memory Charms are wonderful things," Harry sighed, sitting down. "So, what've you got planned, Padfoot?"

"You see, when Remus wakes up, he'll come down, and we'll all be there!" Sirius said excitedly.

"And...?" Arabella said.

"That's it," Sirius said, looking at them expectantly.

"We would have done that anyway, Sir," James said.

"Are you telling me," Lily said, sounding shocked, "that you made me come all the way down here to tell me something I already know when I could be getting my beauty rest???" Lily ended, screaming.

"Er... yes," Sirius said.

"Bad move, Sirius," Draco said, watching Lily boil. "Really bad move."

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You. You. Are. Such. A. Stupid. Prat. Do you want to buried or cremated, Sirius?" Lily screamed.

"Why must I answer that question twenty-four/seven?" Sirius moaned. "Look, if you want to plan my funeral, it's very rude to do it in front of me. Go have a big meeting, make up a secret code. Here, I'll give you a start. Instead of saying 'Do you want to be buried or cremated,' which is so cliché, you could say, 'Would you like walnuts with that?' It's so much more... imaginative. And you know what you could call the code? Operation Walnut. There, I gave you some help. Now shut the hell up."

"Why thank you for the creative suggestion," James said sarcastically. "Would you like walnuts with that?"

"Walnuts? Me? I'm allergic to walnuts," Sirius said blankly. They all groaned. Harry threw a pillow at him.

"Sirius Black, I am going to kill you someday," he said.

"You know, Beaky, that is also very rude. Here's step two for Operation Walnut. Instead of saying, 'I'm going to kill you,' which is so very rude, you can say, 'Pass the walnuts. When will you learn your manners, Harry?"

"Pass the walnuts, Sirius," Lily said.

"I don't have any walnuts," Sirius said. Arabella slapped him.

"I am going to bed. If you need me, hesitate to ask. The person who wakes me up tomorrow will get their head bitten off, understood?"

"How rude!" Sirius said. "You people need to learn some etquette!"

"Are you telling me you know what etiquette means?" Draco asked, dumbfounded. "Really? Did you just look that up, or have people just always told you they wish you had some?"

"Shut up Boa," Sirius snapped.

"If the Idiot Convention is over," Lily said, "I'm going to bed too. Good night."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite!" Sirius called after them. He ducked a flying vase.

"Well, it's been a nice chat," James said. "Wait, I take that back. Any chat held at one-thirty in the morning is not nice. Get a watch, Sirius."

"I have one!" Sirius claimed. "See, it says it's one-thirty in the afternoon!"

"AM means morning, Sirius," Harry said, shaking his head. "Where'd you get a Muggle watch, anyway? And how'd you get it to work?"

"I asked Professor Uglybutt, (A/N: OK, Professor Uglybutt is the Muggle Studies professor. I'm running out of names, okay???)" Sirius said proudly. "She charmed it for me."

"Learn how to use, Sir," Draco said, shaking his head.

"You should talk, Draco!" Harry mumbled. "What's a television?"

"I don't speak Muggle!" Draco snapped. "Professor Uglybutt is stupid anyway."

"You don't speak Muggle? Everyone can speak Muggle. All you have to do is act like you have no idea what you're talking about," James said profoundly.

"It's times like these that I wonder if you are related to Fred and George," Harry said.

"I like the sound of those names. Fred and George. They go good together, don't you think?" Sirius asked absentmindedly.

"Yes, they're much better than Sirius and Draco," Harry said.

"And Harry and James are all the rage in Idiotland," Draco drawled.

"There is no such place as Idiotland, unless you count your head," Harry said.

"No, Idiotland is wherever you and James happen to be," Sirius said. He ducked two flying pillows.

"Well, I'd love to stay chat - no, that's a lie, you Gryffindors are really starting to scare me," Draco said. "I am leaving before my own sanity is at stake."

"What sanity?" said Sirius, James, and Harry together, snickering.

"Pass the walnuts!" Draco yelled down at them as he went up to the dormitory.

"Now that Draco's gone," James said, "how's Laura?"

Harry suddenly grinned. "Oh, that good, is it?" James asked.

"Either that or it's really bad and Harry's happy because he's gone all mad and evil," Sirius said.

"Oh yes," Harry said sarcastically. "I went all mad and evil a while ago. Me and Draco, we found an Evil-Zapper a while back, started zapping evil into everyone, don't you worry." (A/N: This was inspired by the evil bake sale quote in Draco Dormiens, by Cassandra Claire. I suggest you read it, it is the best fic on the face of the earth, it compares only to the books themselves.)

"So, what were you two up to?" James said, ignoring the sarcasm of his son.

"None of your business," Harry grumbled.

"Harry, I'm your father. You're my business," James said.

"Have you ever heard someone talking to his dad about girls? Thought not. You can shut up now."

"Come on, Harry, did she dump you?" Sirius said excitedly. "If she did, we won't embarrass you..."

"...Much," James added, grinning.

"I refuse to tell the two of you anything, for fear of invasion of mine and Laura's SEPARATE personal spaces," Harry said. "According to Moony, trusting you two with that kind of information is a recipe for disaster. Of course, Sirius alone is a recipe for disaster, but that's beside the point. You two are nosy, obnoxious gits."

"BEAKY!" Sirius screamed.

"Are you sure about the 'SEPARATE personal spaces' part?" James asked. Harry slapped him.

"If you care that much, Laura and I made up. Now, I would like you to shut up, and by the way, pass the walnuts."

"I never should help you people again," Sirius said, shaking his head. "You are abusing my gift."

"Gift? Well, Padfoot, if that is what you call a 'gift,' I suggest you look in a dictionary someday," James said.

"I hate you," Sirius said, scowling at him.

"Mhmm. Right. So Beaky, are you absolutely sure...?"

"Quietus," Harry mumbled. James's mouth kept moving, but nothing came out. James's face went red like he was screaming. Sirius grinned at Harry.

"Thank you so much, Harry. Tonight we won't have to hear James snore."

James turned to Sirius and mouthed, "I DO NOT SNORE!"

"Yes, you do," Sirius teased.

James glared at Sirius with such intensity that it would make Snape jealous. "I hate you," he mouthed.

"Oh shut up, Jamsie."

This was just too much for James. He tackled Sirius to the ground. Sirius was screaming like a girl.

"Save me, Harry!" he cried.

"Nah, I'm too tired. By the way; you snore louder than he does. Quietus." Harry chuckled as Sirius started mouthing hexes at him. Since nothing came out, however, Harry was unharmed. Giving up, Sirius slapped him.

Harry grinned suddenly. The big bruise on his cheek gave him an idea. If Sirius and James couldn't talk, that meant they couldn't do magic... which meant they couldn't do countercurses... "Sorry, boys, but you walked right into it," Harry sighed. "Jellius Legasis. Densaugeo. Wingardrium Leviosa. Puttius. Don't even try to leave the room; you might hurt yourselves." Two buck-toothed, wiggly-legged, flying boys opened their mouths and roared silently. Harry chuckled as he walked up the stairs.

Harry slipped behind the curtains of his four-poster silently and fell asleep instantly. After what only felt like a minute, a little voice whispered inside his head, Harry, it's time to wake up.

Harry groaned. "Shut up," he mumbled.

"If we don't go down now, we'll never get down before Remus, and then Sirius will kill us all," Draco said.

Harry mumbled something under his breath and got dressed. "Do you have any idea where James and Sirius are?" Draco said as they walked down the stairs. "They weren't up to the dorm all night." Harry snorted.

"Oh, I have a feeling they're waiting for us already," Harry said.

When they walked into the common room, two figures swooped down onto Harry. They were the forms of Sirius and James. They were mouthing curses and hexes and sometimes slapping him. They were still levitating - in fact; Sirius was having a hard time moving, because his teeth were scraping the floor. Their legs jiggled helplessly; to move, they had to swim through the air. Draco snorted.

"Oh, I see somebody's trying to start a new trend," he said. Sirius messed up his hair. Draco's eyes widened with fury.

"Now you've done it, Padfoot..." Harry said, backing away from Draco slowly. James swam rapidly backwards, propelling along swiftly.

"Do you," Draco hissed, "have any idea how much my hair care collection cost?"

Sirius shrugged. "It cost THIRTY MILLION GALLEONS!" Draco screamed. "But of course you wouldn't know that - I'll bet you don't know what a barber shop is!" Draco pulled on Sirius's long hair, and he yelped.

"Would you like walnuts with that?" Draco asked furiously. Sirius shook his head violently. "Too bad!" Draco pointed his fingers at Sirius sharply. Suddenly, instead of a stupid but kind Gryffindor boy, stood - er, floated a greasy but ugly and evil Slytherin boy. In a word, Snape.

Sirius looked into the mirror over the mantel and screamed silently in horror. "You have suffered enough, Sirius," Harry said, shaking his head with laughter. "Finite Incantantem."

Sirius/Snape's teeth shrunk, his legs stiffened, and he fell to the ground with a thump! But - horror of horrors - he was still Snape!

Sighing with relief and looking in the mirror again, Sirius screamed with horror again. Very loudly. Instantly Remus, Lily, and Arabella were in the common room.

"Guys, what are you - AHHH!!!" Remus hid behind Draco. "GET THAT THING OUT OF HERE!!!"

"Snape, if you don't get out of here this instant, I am going to straight to Dumbledore," Lily said firmly. "I don't know who was insane enough to give you our password, but - "

"LILY, YOU GREAT STUPID PRAT, IT'S ME, SIRIUS!" Sirius screamed. "DRACO, WOULD YOU LIKE WALNUTS WITH THAT???"

"Either I am having a very strange dream, Snape is in our common room, or Sirius has gone completely mad," Remus said.

"Moony, shut up, it's me!" Sirius said. "Sirius Ian Black! Padfoot! Draco, CHANGE ME BACK!!!"

Arabella looked at him in horror. She pushed him out of the portrait hole and slammed the door behind her.

"What is going on here?" she said desperately.

"Sirius committed a serious offence," Harry said. "He messed up Boa's hair."

"A crime worthy of Azkaban!" Draco shouted. "NO ONE TOUCHES MY HAIR!!!"

"BOA, SHUT UP!" Harry yelled. James smacked Harry hard and pointed to his throat. Suddenly Remus, Lily, and Arabella raised eyebrows.

"Long story..." Harry muttered. "Finite Incantantem."

"Pass the walnuts, Harry," James said angrily. "There are two possibilities as to what happened. Either Draco did a Polyjuice spell, or..."

"... OR he transported Snape into our common room," Lily said, eyes widened. "But the question is, which one is it?"

"Let him in," Remus said. "We can ask him some stuff only the real Padfoot would know."

"Yea," James said. "Arabella, let him in."

Arabella opened the door and ushered Sirius/Snape in, careful not to touch him as he passed.

"So," Remus said. "Are you the real Sirius Black?"

"YES!!!" Sirius/Snape screamed.

"What's your middle name?" James fired.

"Ian."

"Birthday?" Remus asked.

"October 24^th."

"What's your Marauder nickname?"

"Moony, you know what it is, its Padfoot. CHANGE ME BACK, DRACO!"

"Guys, Snape could have just found out the answers to all those questions," Lily said.

"You're right. Sirius, or Snape, or whoever you are, what does SUFAMS stand for?"

"Save Us From Annoying Malfoy's Stupidity," Sirius/Snape said.

"What does 'Pass the walnuts' mean?" James asked.

"I'm going to kill you."

"WHAT???" Remus screamed.

"Long story," Arabella assured him. "You don't want to know."

"And what is today?" Harry fired. Sirius/Snape smiled sarcastically.

"Happy birthday, Moony."

"He still could have just figured that out..." Lily trailed off.

"Lily, you want proof? I am now positive this is Sirius. Here's my proof. Herodotus," Harry said. Sirius/Snape disappeared. In his place stood a huge black dog. The dog barked and transformed back into a man.

"Thank you, Harry," Sirius/Snape said. "There. I am not Snape. I never was Snape. CHANGE ME BACK, DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Er..." Draco said. "Umm..."

"Oh no," Sirius said. "You're not telling me..."

"You don't know how to change him back?!?!" Harry screamed.

"Er... no," Draco said meekly.

"Would you like walnuts with that, Draco?" Sirius/Snape said in a forced calm voice.

"Er - no, actually, I wouldn't. I am going to go crawl under a rock now."

"NOT UNTIL I FINISH WITH YOU!!!" Sirius/Snape said.

"WHAT ARE YOU NUTTERS DOING UP AT THIS HOUR?" Laura screamed coming down the stairs. She saw Sirius, and thought he was Snape. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed. She hid behind Lily.

"LAURA, YOU IDIOT, IT'S ME, SIRIUS!!! DRACO MALFOY, I AM GIVING YOU FIVE SECONDS, OR THERE'S GONNA BE AN ACCIDENT!!!"

"Well, unless you're a Seer, which you're not since you don't even take divination, you would not know if an accident is going to occur, so that means you're going to hurt me, and given the look you're giving me I'd better shut up now," Draco said. "What kind of accident?"

"The kind that involves me tearing your brain out and keeping it as a trophy. That is, supposing you have a brain."

"This from the guy who thinks toilet paper is made from banana peels," James sighed.

"This from the guy who keeps bringing up walnuts," Remus sighed.

"Will my brain get a special case?" Draco asked. "I'm allergic to mahogany, you know."

"That's nice. I guess I'll have to bury you in a sardine can instead of a matchbox," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Oh, thank you for the concern," Draco said.

"I think our real concern now," Arabella interrupted, "is to change Sirius back before there's not enough of Draco left to cover a pinhead."

A/N: Kind of stinky ending, I know. Sorry this chapter took so long. It's a bit awkward... don't' ask where walnuts came from, it was a sudden inspiration. I was just eating walnuts and... POOF! If I had bought peanuts instead of walnuts, this chapter would have a totally different title. I am babbling like an idiot. Next chapter: Will poor, poor Sirius be redeemed? What happens when the school finds out about Harry and Laura? What about Draco and Susie? How happy will Remus's birthday be? And where is the little rat while all of this is happening? Perhaps we shall see if there is such a thing as Obnoxious Git Cemetery... perhaps not. Aw, who am I kidding, Draco can't die, even if he is a hair-obsessed freak! I can think of two people off the top of my head who would chop my head off... I am babbling again, aren't I? R/R please!!!