Harry Potter and the Time Potion

Chapter 2- Fights, Feelings, and Revelations

The following morning Madame Pomfrey gave Harry a check-up. She seemed reluctant to let him go. She insisted on stuffing him full of chocolate before she let him leave. Everyone was at breakfast by the time Harry got out. Not feeling very hungry, Harry headed up to Gryffindor Tower.

"Fuzzy slippers," Harry said upon reaching the Fat Lady. As the portrait swung open, Harry climbed in. Maybe he would play a game of chess with Remus later. Bu that funny tingling was in his stomach again. He had felt that feeling before when he was around Cho. No! Thought Harry. That isn't right!

Harry collapsed onto one of the chairs. "Hey! Watch it!" said a voice. Startled, Harry sprang up. Malfoy was already sitting there.

"Oh, sorry."

"You OK?"

"I'm fine!"

They sat in silence a while. Then Harry said, "I think I'm going mad."

Malfoy gave him a concerned look. "Before I agree, what made you realize this?"

"I think I have a crush on my mum."

Malfoy looked at him oddly. "But that's impossible."

"Why is it so impossible?"

"Because Dumbledore put a charm on us. We can't feel such strong emotions or cause them. It's so we won't interfere."

"Then why do I feel like this?"

"Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out."

Malfoy sat thinking for a moment. "I've got it!" he said, jumping up. He hurried over to a large bookshelf and pulled down a big, old book. He opened it up excitedly.

"What is that?" Harry said.

"I'm looking up the Retina Charm," Malfoy said.

"Which is...?"

"It's a charm that tells you what emotions you're feeling and what the cause of them is. Here it is!"

"Wait, what's going to happen?"

"I'm going to put you in a trance. Then, when I ask you a question, you'll answer it and we'll know."

Harry nodded. "Are you sure you can do this?"

"Honestly, Potter, it's third-year level magic. It's just old and mostly forgotten about."

Harry nodded. "Ok, do it."

"Sturatina Patrunia Glabrous!" Malfoy exclaimed. Harry slumped to the ground. Malfoy picked him up and sat him in a chair.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"What are you feeling right now?"

"Love. True love."

"For whom?"

What Harry said next made Malfoy gasp loudly. Malfoy dropped his book and it landed on his toe. He screamed.

"Hermione," Harry said again confidently.

Malfoy got Harry out of his trance. "Well? What did I say? Who is it?" Harry asked anxiously.

Malfoy shook his head. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes! She can't be that bad. Do you know her?"

Malfoy nodded, looking sick. "I know her."

"Well? Who is it?"

"It's Hermione," Malfoy said quietly.

Harry looked shaken. "You're- you're sure?"

"I'm sure, Potter. You can't lie under that spell."

Harry nodded, looking exasperated. "I think I'm going to go up to the dormitory. I want to be alone."

"Okay. Remember, to go in 20 minutes. There's Advanced DADA."

Harry nodded and went up to the dormitories. Hermione? He was in love with Hermione?

A vision came to him suddenly. It was Hermione and Ron together, kissing. Harry felt a rage go through him, as he never felt before. He had thought he'd be happy for Ron and Hermione if they got together. He wanted the best for them.

Yes, but you're the best for Hermione, said a voice in his head.

Malfoy! Get out of my head! I want to be alone!

All right. I just wanted to let you know, the rest of them are up from breakfast.

Fine. I'll be down in a few minutes. Just- don't tell Dad I thought I was in love with Lily.

But-

Just don't!

All right, Potter.

Harry continued to walk up the stairs. He was in love with Hermione. He suddenly began to wonder why he didn't realize this before. She was beautiful, smart, and funny- and he was sure she loved him too, if not in that way.

He wondered how he was going to tell her. But what if she doesn't love me back? What if she is in love with Ron? What if she hates me for loving her?

She could never hate me, though. We've been through so much together. He remembered the first time he had held her in his arms. You're a great wizard, you know, she had said.

Not as good as you, he had replied.

Me? Books and cleverness? There are more important things. Friendship, and bravery, and Harry, just be careful.

I will.

She had hugged him, and he was surprised at how much he enjoyed it. Her cool embrace was still clear in his head.

Harry flopped down on his bed. It was true. She could never hate him. Never truly, from the bottom of her heart. They had had fights and grudges, but they had always made up. He had found he couldn't be Harry Potter without her.

He sighed. He couldn't be Harry Potter without her. A terrible thought struck him. If she didn't love him back- if she went with Ron instead- Harry didn't know if things would ever be the same. If Ron loved Hermione, he would never forgive him for it. He would lose his best friend and the woman he loved all at once.

Harry sighed and got up. There was nothing he could do about it until they got back. He just wanted to be around Lily until he got back. It's because she reminds me of Hermione, he thought. That's why I thought I loved her.

Harry grabbed his book bag and walked down the stairs. Now the only thing he could think of was getting back to Hermione.

James was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you all right, Harry?" he said.

"I'm fine," Harry choked.

"I know what it's like to have the woman you love not think any more of you than a friend," James said.

"I'm fine. Really," he said, seeing the look on James's face. "Let's get to DADA."

The two of them walked to the Advanced DADA classroom alone, since Malfoy, Sirius, Remus, and Lily had already gone. Peter was in Ancient Runes. Upon entering the classroom, Harry and James took seats at the table of Gryffindors. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were already seated. They were just waiting for Professor Fernier.

When the Professor walked in, he said, "Hello class! For those of you that don't know, we have two transfers joining us. This is Harry Finnigan and Draco Malfoy. They will be spending two months here before returning to Beauxbatons. Mr. Malfoy, would you care to say few words?"

"Er- no thanks," Malfoy said. Harry slapped his forehead.

Smooth, Malfoy. Real smooth.

Shut up, Potter.

"Anyway," said Professor Fernier. "We will begin working on your pre-O.W.L. projects today. You will be put into pairs and will pick three topics to do reports on from the list I give you." He started passing out lists.

"Now, Mr. Malfoy, you and Miss Evans will be working together. Mr. Potter and Mr. Finnigan, you will be together. Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin, Miss Rogers and Mr. Boot, Mr. Macmillan and Miss Abbot. You will have the rest of class today to work on it. They will be due in 2 months. I expect at least 2 rolls of parchment on each subject, plus a presentation. Get to work!"

James and Harry went to a corner. They looked at the list.

"Well, this shouldn't be too hard," Harry said. "I know all about dementors and the Unforgivable Curses."

"I know all about the founding of Hogwarts," said James. "I'm the direct descendant of Godric Gryffindor."

Harry's jaw dropped. "So does that mean-"

"You're the Heir of Gryffindor, Harry," James said with a smile.

"So- so that's why I could open the Chamber."

"What are you talking about, Harry?"

"Long story. I'll explain later. Anyway, I know about all of these things, especially dementors and the Unforgivable Curses. I can throw off an Imperius curse. What do you know about?"

"Well, I have this book in my trunk about the founding of Hogwarts. Written by Rowena Ravenclaw herself. So should we do dementors, the Unforgivable Curses, and the founding of Hogwarts?"

"Perfect. So anyway, for the Unforgivable Curses presentation I could throw off an Imperius Curse. For dementors- I could find a boggart, and when it sees me it would turn into a dementor...I know the Patronus Charm."

"Cool! The founding of Hogwarts- I could get the Heirs together, and we could do some serious tricks."

"Who are the other Heirs?"

"Anna Abbot is Hufflepuff's Heir, Patricia Patil is Ravenclaw, and," James gulped, "Snape is Slytherin's Heir."

Harry gasped. "But- Voldemort-" James flinched. "Sorry. But Dumbledore said You-Know-Who was the last living descendant of Slytherin."

"You-Know-Who isn't the direct Heir. Snape is. Although it's probably the end of Slytherin's line," he added as an afterthought. "Because I don't think any girl would be crazy enough to marry either of them."

Harry laughed, and then turned serious. "But Snape would never help us."

"Oh, I can get him to listen to me," James said. "If I really want to. He'd do anything to impress Lily. He fancies her," he said with a scowl.

"Snape fancies Mum?" Harry said. "But she's Muggle-born. He hates them."

"Well, all I know is that he fancies Lily. You should see the way he looks at her. Plus, she's the only Muggle-born in the school he's never called 'Mudblood.'"

"He's such a git," Harry agreed. "He doesn't deserve to see Mum's behind."

"Class dismissed!" called Professor Fernier. "I want to know what you chose by the end of next lesson!"

"So what did you guys choose?" Harry said to Remus and Sirius as they left the class.

"Werewolves, Azkaban, and boggarts," Sirius said. "You?"

"Dementors, the Unforgivable Curses, and the founding of Hogwarts," James said, catching up.

"We chose You-Know-Who, Grindewald, and pixies," Malfoy said. "Pixies! It was Lily's idea."

"Pixies are interesting creatures," Lily said defiantly.

"Have you ever had them set loose in your classroom?" Harry said.

Lily looked at him. "Who did that?"

"Lockhart," Harry said, shaking his head. "Boy, was he thick."

"Lockhart? Gilderoy Lockhart?" James said, disgusted.

"He was my old boyfriend," Lily whispered in Harry's ear. "James doesn't like him very much." Harry nodded.

"How could you date someone so thick?" Harry whispered.

"He's attractive!"

"About as attractive as a troll."

"Be quiet, Harry."

"You know," said Sirius loudly. "We haven't caused any mayhem yet this year, Prongs. Maybe we ought to give our precious little Snapie-poo a little welcome-back present. Jamsie?"

"Right you are, Padfoot. Any ideas, Moony?"

"Well..." said Remus. "You probably wouldn't want to..."

"Spill it, Moony," said Sirius.

"Well, we could give him some of that potion- you know what I'm talking about, Lily- the one Professor Theorax was talking about yesterday?"

"The Animagi one? Why?" said Lily.

"Ooh, I see where this is going," said James knowingly.

"If we make him a chicken or something, he'll shrink-" said Harry.

"But his robes won't," said Malfoy. They all smiled evilly at each other.

"So when he turns back..." said Remus.

"Oh, Moony, I could kiss you!" said Sirius, giving his friend a great bear hug. "How long will it take to make the potion?"

"Well, if we make it tonight, it could be ready by tomorrow," Lily said hastily. "It's not a very difficult potion."

"Ooh, I can barely wait!" said Padfoot, rubbing his hands together.

They managed to survive History of Magic that morning. Remus and Lily were whispering about how to get the ingredients. The rest of them were thinking of ways to blackmail Snape with photos of him naked. By the end of class, Harry had a whole roll of parchment filled with ideas.

"I've got to talk to Narcissa for a minute," Sirius said. "I'll meet you guys at lunch."

"Aww, is Padfoot gonna kiss his wittle girlfriend?"

"Shut up, Prongs. I haven't seen you kiss your precious Lily lately."

James turned scarlet. "Tlestmgrlfrnddntrnffwislythrin," he mumbled unintelligibly.

"What'd you say?" Sirius snapped.

"I said at least Lily has enough self-pride not to go run off and marry a Slytherin!"

"James- shut up."

"It's true! You got dumped for Malfoy."

"I SAID SHUT UP!!!" Sirius yelled. He punched James, giving him a bloody nose. James kicked Sirius's stomach. Sirius staggered back, but managed to give James a black eye. Harry pulled his dad off his best friend, while Remus had resorted to Body-Bind on Sirius.

While Harry was dragging James away with Lily's help, James yelled, "I hate you, Sirius Black!"

Throwing off the Body-Bind, Padfoot yelled, "Not nearly as much as I hate you, James Potter!"

*

You don't,

you don't,

you don't,

you don't,

you don't mean anything to me.

You don't,

you don't,

you don't,

you don't,

you don't mean anything to me.

You're what I never want to be

You don't mean anything to me.

You're what I never want to be

You don't mean anything to me.

You're what I never want to be.

*

"I can't believe you did that, Dad!" Harry said.

Malfoy, he thought. We're in the common room. Don't bring Sirius up here!

We're in a secret room we just found. Password's 'ugly monkeys.'

Good, stay there! How is he?

Furious. James?

Same. Just stay there until Transfiguration, OK?

Sure, Potter.

"I can't believe him... if he says another word against Lily and I I'll-"

"James!" said Lily, looking horrified.

"What's going on?" said Wormtail as he came through the portrait door. (A/N: Boy, do I hate him! I've got to have him in here somewhere, though. Anyway...)

"James and Sirius got into a fight," said Harry quietly. "You're sure you don't want to go to the hospital wing, James?"

"Pomfrey wouldn't fix it," said James, holding ice up to his eye. "She'd say it was 'for our own good.' She's mental."

"Oh. How about some lunch then, Prongs?" said Lily.

"Not hungry," said James grumpily.

"Oh." They sat in silence for a long time.

"James, we've got Transfiguration in ten minutes," said Harry. "I don't want to be late. I want to see Mrs.- er- Professor Weasley."

James nodded and Lily helped him up. So Harry, Wormtail, Lily, and Prongs hurried to the Transfiguration classroom. They were the first ones there. They took a seat in the front of the room. This was so that a crowd could separate James and Sirius.

The rest of the class came in slowly. Most of them were surprised to see James- since when is James Potter early for lessons? They thought.

Sirius, Remus, and Malfoy came in with Narcissa just as the bell rang. Professor Weasley hurried in after them. Harry gawked at her. She wasn't just pleasantly plump like she was in Harry's day. She was just plain fat. He heard Lily gasp.

"Today, we will be doing temporary Animagi spells. Partner up!" she said. Lily and James got together immediately. This left poor Harry with Wormtail.

Wormtail was as bad at magic as Neville was at Quidditch. By the end of class, Harry was having trouble getting his feet back from a dog's. He had to ask Professor Weasley to fix them. "Harry, could you and Lily stay after class for a moment?" she whispered as she transfigured his feet. Harry nodded, not asking how she knew his name.

"Oh Lily, guess what?" Mrs. Weasley said excitedly after the rest of the class had left. "I've got twins this time!"

Lily squealed with joy. "Oh, Molly, what are you going to name them? Are they boys or girls?"

"They're both boys. Any ideas on what to name them?"

"How about Fred and George?" Harry said with a grin. Lily gave him a look as Mrs. Weasley said, "Oh those are wonderful names! That's it! I'll owl Arthur tonight! Thank you, Harry!" she said, hugging him so tightly he nearly suffocated.

After they left, Lily said, "Harry, you shouldn't have said that."

"What?"

"You shouldn't have told her sons' names!" Harry shrugged.

"So what, Mum? It was only a little while until she figured it out on her own."

"Well- OK, Harry. I'm going to go talk to Sirius. I'll see if I can talk some sense into him. I'll see you at dinner." She ran off. Harry sighed. So this was what it was like having a mum.

"Harry?" said a voice behind him. Harry whirled around. Sirius was standing there.

"Sirius? What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you." He dragged Harry off to a portrait of Godric Gryffindor and said, "Ugly monkeys."

The portrait swung out and Sirius dragged Harry inside the circular stone room. It was just like the Gryffindor common room except smaller. Harry sat next to Sirius on a couch.

"Harry, is James OK?"

This was about the last thing Harry expected to hear. "Umm- not exactly. You see, you punched him, remember?"

"I'm serious."

"So am I!"

"No, I am, remember?"

"Sirius!"

"Really, is he OK?"

"He's pretty offended. Plus he won't admit he misses you. You do miss him, don't you?"

"No."

"Yes you do, Sirius!"

"I do not!"

"Then what did you want to talk to me about?"

Sirius opened his mouth, closed it again, and then said, "Shut up, Harry."

"You do miss him. Don't you?"

"OK, ok, I do! Just tell me- is he OK?"

"I told you, he's offended. Not to mention his black eye and bloody nose."

"What about me? I was wheezing for hours!"

"That's beside the point. You're both being stupid. You're best friends-"

"Ex-best friends."

"Whatever! You miss each other like hell and it's only been a few hours! What are you going to do about the prank tomorrow?"

"Take loads of pictures and blackmail the slimy git."

"Other than that."

"Uhh... stay away from my ex-best friend, takes loads of pictures and blackmail Snape?"

Harry sighed. "You're never going to stop are you? You're just going to stop speaking to each other for all eternity over a girl!" Harry turned white. "Oh no. This is all my fault. I interfered. I should never have told you!" Harry ran out of the room.

Sirius ran after him, but Harry was gone by the time he got out. He ran up to Gryffindor Tower.

"Where's Harry?" he said as he burst into the common room. James, who was sitting on the couch crying, quickly looked away.

"Peter- where's Harry?"

"We thought he was with you," Remus said.

"He ran away. You mean he's not here?" Sirius said, going pale.

"No. We thought he was with you. Lily was out looking for the two of you. Don't you know where he is?" said Remus.

"He's gone. He ran away. He thinks it's his fault that James is an insufferable git. In other words, he thinks he interfered and caused our fight. He's going really hard on himself."

James stood up. "You don't know where Harry is?" he said quietly. "You couldn't even keep an eye on him for me? What kind of friend are you? It is over between us, Sirius Black!"

He rushed out of the common room.

Sirius sighed. "Well, this is just great," he said. "We have two angry, missing friends and no clue where either of them went. And it's all my fault."

"Padfoot-" said Remus.

"Moony, if I wasn't such a git James and I wouldn't have been in a fight in the first place! Then Harry wouldn't have ran off blaming himself, and James wouldn't have yelled at me. Face it, Remus, it's my fault."

Remus sighed. "I guess you're right. But we have to find them. Peter, come on."

The three of them hurried out of the common room.

They searched for hours, but they found no trace of Harry or James.

"I can't believe I did this," said Sirius, sitting down with his face in his hands.

"Padfoot, lighten up. Where's Draco anyway? Maybe he's seen them," Peter said.

"Shut up, Wormtail, you insufferable git!" Sirius said. "Get out of my face!" Remus looked at Sirius. If looks could kill, Sirius would be dead and buried. Wormtail burst into tears and ran away.

"Nice performance, Padfoot. Now we're the only ones not missing. Where is everyone? Lily, James, Harry, Peter, and Malfoy... we haven't seen another living soul for hours. Where are they?" he shouted out loud.

At that moment, Malfoy and Lily came around a corner. "Moony! Padfoot!" Lily said, hugging them both. "We've been looking for you for ages... where is everyone else?"

"That's what we'd like to know," Sirius said. "Harry, James and Peter all hate me, they've been missing for hours! Malfoy, have you tried telepathing Harry?"

"Yes, but he seems to have shut his mind off," Malfoy said. "I think he wants to be alone."

"He has been for hours! We haven't seen another living soul for at least 3 hours! We haven't even seen a teacher or other student, dammit!" Sirius said, kicking the wall.

"Well, James wasn't exactly too keen on talking to you last time I checked," Lily said.

"I wanted to apologize, Lil! But of course the stuck-up git won't listen to a word I say-"

"That's really making me want to listen to you," said a voice behind them.

They whirled around, but no one was there. Suddenly, James's head appeared. He was wearing the Invisibility Cloak.

"I've been following you for hours," James said. "And I'm sorry too, Padfoot. I never should have teased you. We wouldn't be in this mess now. So you have no idea where Harry or Wormtail are?"

"No clue, old friend. Have you seen them?"

"I saw Harry," James said.

"You did? Where?" said Malfoy.

"He was heading for the Whomping Willow. When I tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, he yelled at me. Called me a (he said something that made Lily gasp) and told me to get out of his face. So I left."

"He's in the Shrieking Shack," Remus said.

"I know. When I tried to get through the passageway, I couldn't get through. He has a Trespasser Charm up, I think. I saw some kind of talisman sitting in the hall that I couldn't get past."

"Let's go," Lily said.

"What about Peter?" Malfoy said.

"Who cares about Peter? He's a traitor and a (beep)," Sirius said.

"Good point."

So they hurried off to the Whomping Willow. Sure enough, there was a talisman that wouldn't let them pass.

"Move over," said Malfoy. They stepped aside, and he touched the talisman and closed his eyes. Then he stepped across. "Come on!"

They hurried through the familiar passageway and ended up in the Shrieking Shack. Remus led the way through the house, his wand tip alight. Ahead they saw a room with a light in it. They moved slowly towards it.

When they got to it, Harry was sitting on a four-poster bed crying silently. He was facing the wall with his face in his hands. "Go away," he choked, and pulled the curtains around him.

"Harry-" said Lily.

"I said go away!"

"Harry, I-" said James.

"I thought I told you to go away!"

Sirius pulled the curtains back. "Harold James Potter listen to your father!" he yelled. Harry reluctantly waved his hand to let him talk, but as James was talking Harry made no sign that he was listening.

When James had finished, Harry said, "It still doesn't matter! I promised Dumbledore I wouldn't interfere, and now that promise is broken!"

*

You can't stand another fight,

And nothing's all right!

Because we lost it all,

Nothing lasts forever,

I'm sorry I can't be

Perfect.

Now it's just too late,

And we can't go back

I'm sorry I can't be

Perfect.

Nothing's gonna change the

Things that you said,

And nothing's gonna make this

Right again!

Please don't turn your back I

Can't believe it's all just a

Talk to you but

You don't understand!

'Cuz we lost it all.

Nothing lasts forever,

I'm sorry

I can't be

Perfect.

Now it's just too late

And we can't go back I'm

Sorry I can't be

Perfect.

*

"Harry, you did not interfere!" Malfoy said. "Who says friends, even best friends, don't fight from time to time! Look at you and Weasley! You and Granger!"

Harry was silent. Then he got up and hugged his dad.

"I'm sorry I was such a pain," he said.

"It's OK," James said. "Sirius is a pain sometimes too- actually he's a pain all the time..."

"Hey!" Sirius said.

"But he's still my best friend." Sirius smiled.

"Then I guess it's ok, since you made up," Harry said.

"Oh, come on people, enough gushy stuff," said Malfoy. "Who's ready to get Snape?"

"And I thought you liked Snape," Harry said with a grin.

"He's not that bad, but this is too good to pass up," Malfoy said, grinning evilly.

"Good. For a minute I thought you were going to miss out on the prank of a lifetime. So, where's Peter?" said Harry.

"Er- no clue," said Remus. "Sirius kind of told him he was a git, and he ran off."

"He deserved it," Sirius said harshly.

"It still wasn't the nicest thing to do, Padfoot," Moony said.

"He killed Lily and James, Moony!"

"Good point. Well, let's just hope we never see his ugly little face again."

"Let's go get revenge on Snape!" Malfoy roared.

They all cheered and ran through the passageway. This is going to be fun, Harry thought.

"OK," said James, taking charge. They were in their newly found secret room. James was pacing in front of them. He was staring at the small cauldron in the room.

"Remus, Lily- you know what ingredients we need. You two should take the Invisibility Cloak and 'borrow' them from Professor Theorax's office."

"Borrow?" said Remus, looking at his friend.

"Steal just doesn't have that nice ring to it."

"Too true." Remus and Lily got under the Invisibility and disappeared. (A/N: Yea, that's corny, I know. Give me a break; this is only my second fic.) Seeing how quickly the portrait opened and closed, they had left quickly.

"So- who knows what we're supposed to do with the ingredients we already have?" said Sirius jokingly.

"I thought you did," said James. Sirius laughed hollowly.

"Since when do I pay attention in Potions? I thought you knew me better than that."

James, Sirius, and Harry looked at each other uncomfortably. None of them had any idea what to do. Malfoy cleared his throat.

"Forgetting someone here?"

"Malfoy! Do you know?" said Harry.

"I do," he said. Then he took charge. He was ordering them all around, telling them to put so much of so-and-so in and to turn up the fire. By the time Lily and Remus got back, the potion was boiling.

"Wow!" said Lily. "It's great!"

"Thanks to Potion Boy, here," Harry said, slapping Malfoy on the back. "What's left, Malfoy?"

"Well, all we have to do is dump the rest of the ingredients," Malfoy said. They all looked at each other, shrugged, and picked one of the jars of ingredients.

"We put the right amount in each container," Lily said. "So we just put them in at the same time." They all looked at each other and poured.

The potion turned a violent shade of orange as it sizzled. "It's perfect," Remus said. They looked at each other and grinned evilly.

"You know," said Malfoy thoughtfully, "maybe this is a little too wicked. Maybe we ought to give him the reassurance of underwear."

"Ah, the question of the ages: Boxers or briefs?" said James. Sirius sniggered.

"Yea, and we can write: CAUTION: Greasy Haired Git Ahead!" said Harry.

"Harry. You- are- a - genius!" Sirius said, throwing his arms around him. "Now how are we going to pull this off?"

"We can sneak into the Slytherin Dungeon!" James said. "I got the password from a house-elf!"

"We can sneak him some potion!" said Remus. "It takes 7 hours to kick in..."

Harry looked at his watch. It was 1:30 AM. "If we go now, the transformation will come around at breakfast!"

"We can't all go, though," Lily said. "Only 4 of us will fit under the Invisibility Cloak."

"Hmm..." James said. "I'm sure Sirius would kill us if he didn't go..."

"Damn right I would!" said Sirius.

"I want to go!" said Harry.

"I can stay," said Malfoy.

"Don't forget me!" said Remus. Lily looked at James.

"You go, darling. I can stay here with Draco," she said.

"Are you sure, Lily?" said James.

"Just go!" she said, pushing the four of them out the door. They hastily threw the cloak over them as the portrait closed behind them.

"Acid Pop," whispered James as they reached the portrait guarding the Slytherin common room: a large portrait of Salazar Slytherin. Boy, he could use a makeover, Harry thought.

"You're not Slytherins!" Salazar roared. "You're Gryffindors!"

"Damn right we're not- ow!" Sirius said as James stepped on his foot.

"No," said Harry in a high-pitched voice. "We is house-elves, sir- house-elves come to light the fires!"

"Then why are you wearing an Invisibility Cloak?"

"A good house-elf must not be seen, sir," Harry said, imitating Winky.

Slytherin huffed and opened. "Brilliant, Harry!" said James as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Inspired performance!" said Sirius.

"Aww, I'm touched," Harry said irritably. "Come on, you three, let's do this already!" Remus nodded.

"James, Sirius, you guys give Snape the potion, Harry and I will take care of the undies," Remus said. They nodded as they stepped into Snape's room.

Being a prefect, Snape had his own room (how he got to be a prefect no one could guess, that is part of the mysterious questions about Snape.;-). This was lucky, since they didn't have to deal with pesky roommates.

They took off the Invisibility Cloak as James and Sirius headed for Snape's bed. Harry and Remus Harry and Remus shook off the cloak as well. Snape had his clothes for the day laid out. Remus sighed.

"Of course. Always making things easier for us," he said as he shook his head. He pulled a pair of underwear out of the bottom of the stack.

"Alas! The mystery is unveiled!" Harry said. "Briefs." They sniggered.

"Dammit- I forgot my wand!" said Remus.

"Never fear, Moony. Perfectos Fitters!" Harry said, pointing at Snape's briefs. "Now they'll always fit him."

"But Harry- you need a wand to perform that spell-"

Harry smirked. "I don't."

"But Harry- it's impossible-"

"No it's not."

"If you can do that, then you must be- but there hasn't been one for centuries-"

Harry nodded. "I'm a Bade, Remus. I'm sorry- I forgot to tell you. You were- er- unavailable when I found out. Malfoy's one too."

Remus nodded. "I've got a quill and ink somewhere... aha!" he said, brandishing an eagle feather quill and a bottle of Bob's Bold Black Ink.

He leaned over, scribbled something on them, and stood up, looking satisfied. The underwear now read:

WARNING: Greasy-Haired Slytherin Ahead. BEWARE!!!

Harry snorted quietly. James and Sirius walked over, looking disgusted.

"That was more of Snape than I needed to see," James said.

"Yea, who would have thought Snape slept naked!" Sirius said. "Urgh- I so need to go wash my hands- doesn't he ever bathe?"

"So- back to business. Boxers or briefs?" said James.

"Briefs," Remus said, holding up his handiwork.

Sirius and James burst out laughing. "Sleeperarmius!" Harry whispered, his hand pointing to Snape. "Now he won't wake up until morning."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" James said.

"Blackmail," said Harry. "Think of the morning headlines: SLYTHERIN GIT SLEEPS NAKED! EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS!"

"Aww- we didn't bring a camera," Sirius said, looking deeply disappointed.

"What would you do without me?" Remus sighed. He pulled a camera out of his robes' pocket.

"Moony, I LOVE you!" Sirius shrieked. Sirius grabbed Moony's camera and started snapping pictures.

They came up with several- er- unique poses for Snape that night. I won't go into details, since I want this to be a PG fic. I'll just say it had to do with Laura Zabini, a few unnecessary comments from Sirius, and a bright green sports bra.

By the time they left, Harry had put a Silencing Charm on them so they wouldn't get caught. Sirius and James were sniggering so uncontrollably.

"Honestly, Padfoot, you almost got us caught, shrieking like that-" James said.

"Can I help it if Zabini's a hottie?" Sirius said defiantly.

"Hottie wasn't exactly the word I was looking for," James said.

"Oh gosh, I'll be having nightmares for weeks," Harry said. "You had to bring that camera, didn't you, Moony?"

"Of course I did, Harry!" said Remus, looking shocked.

"Don't you know our motto?" Sirius said, looking deeply offended.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," James said.

Before Harry could answer, he heard a loud purring.

"Mrs. Norris!" said Remus.

"Filch!" said Harry.

Sure enough, Argus Filch turned the corner at that moment. "Where are the naughty students, my sweet?" he said. They stopped dead. The Silencing Charm had worn off.

Harry looked around frantically. They had stopped in front of a very familiar-looking statue...the one-eyed witch! The secret passageway!

Harry nudged Sirius and pointed. Sirius nodded and got the attention of the others.

Very, very slowly, they inched towards the statue. As Filch turned a corner, James said, "Dissendium!"

The passageway opened and the 4 friends slipped inside quietly.

"Welcome to the Marauders, Harry," said James with a grin.

"Harry, quick thinking in the face of Filch where others fail makes you 100% eligible to become a Marauder," said Remus.

"Harry, even I didn't remember this passage. You are truly amazing," Sirius said with a bow.

"Harry, you're one of us," said James.

"And just in time," said Remus.

"We're going to attempt the Animagi transformation tomorrow night," said Sirius. "You can take the place of that bastard Wormtail."

"Padfoot, do you know what could happen if you leave him out of this?"

"Er- no. Enlighten me."

"I could vanish. Disappear. As in >poof< and no one will ever see me again!"

"Oh. Well, it couldn't hurt to have 1 more illegal Animagus, could it?"

"That we can manage," Harry said with a grin. "Although Hermione won't be too happy..."

"So, now that you're going to become an Animagus, you have to choose the animal you want to become. I'm a-"

"You're a stag, Dad, Wormtail's a rat, and Padfoot's a big black dog," Harry said.

"Ahh- I see the rule breaking gene is hereditary," Sirius said with an evil grin. "But you forgot one thing, Prongs. After you choose an animal, we give you a stupid Marauder nickname."

"Shut up, Padfoot," Harry sighed.

"Real Marauder potential, too," Remus said. "Anyway what do you want to be?"

Harry thought for a moment. "A hawk," he said.

"A hawk! Very original," said James. "Is that OK, with you, Moony?"

"I don't eat hawk," Remus said. "It gives me indigestion."

"That's going to be a hard nickname, though," said Sirius, looking disappointed. They all sat thinking for a moment.

"I know!" said James. "What about Beaky?"

Sirius cracked up. After he had caught his breath, he said, "Good one, Jamsie!"

"For the last time, stop calling me Jamsie!" James yelled.

"Okay, Jamsie."

"Sirius, SHUT UP!!!!"

"Why would I want to do that, Jamsie?"

"ARGH!" James said. He started chasing Sirius around in circles.

"Remus?"

"Yea?"

"Are you starting to get the impression Sirius's mental disease is contagious?"

"Yep. Black Irresponsible Sicko Syndrome is contagious."

"BISS!"

"Sirius, look what you did!" Remus shouted. "Now you have BISS and Sirius has PISS!"

Sirius cackled. "All shall bow before me!"

"I don't think he's taken his medication, Beaky."

"I don't think Dad has either. All right you, two, give me the prescriptions for your medication!"

"What prescriptions?" they said innocently. Then James tackled Sirius.

"Beaky, I'll get your dad, you get the twisted one."

Harry nodded and tried to get ahold of Sirius while Remus pulled James off him.

While Sirius was still laughing insanely, Harry said, "Sirius, get up now, or I'll seriously hex you."

"Sirius got up smirking. "You sound just like my mum. 'Clean your room, Sirius Ian Black, or I'll hex you!' Like you know more curses than I, Sirius the Hex master?"

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure,"

"What's the Jelly Legs Hex?"

"Jellius Legasis."

"Stunner."

"Stupefy."

"Memory Charm."

"Obliviate."

"Body-Bind."

"Petrificus Totalus."

"Leg-Locker."

"Locomotor Mortis."

"Levitating."

"Wingardrium Leviosa."

"Reducter."

"Reducto."

"Impendent."

"Imendentma."

"Four-Way Spell."

"Point me."

"Unlocking."

"Alohomora."

"Disarming."

"Er-"

"Ha!" Harry said. "That's second-year magic! So there!" Harry stuck out his tounge.

"Will you two shut up?" Remus said.

"Ah, but Moony, we must have a ceremony! Beaky here's a Marauder now, we've got to make it official," Sirius said. "Does anyone have a wand?"

"I do," said James, handing his wand to Sirius.

"Harry, kneel down," Sirius said. Harry knelt.

"Repeat after me."

"Repeat after me."

"Not yet!"

"Not yet!"

"No!"

"No!"

"ARGH!"

"ARGH!"

"Ok. I, Harold James Potter,"

"Ok. I, Harold James Potter,"

"Accept this honorable title,"

"Accept this honorable title,"

"Of Beaky, the 5^th Marauder,"

"Of Beaky, the 5^th Marauder,"

"On this 3^rd day of September, in the year 1974."

"On this 3^rd day of September, in the year 1974."

"And I do solemnly swear,"

"And I do solemnly swear,"

"That I am up to no good!"

"That I am up to no good!"

"You can stop now."

"You can stop now."

"Beaky, stop it."

"Beaky, stop it."

"BEAKY!"

"BEAKY!"

"HARRY!"

"HARRY!"

"STOP IT!"

"STOP IT!"

Sirius screamed and tackled Harry.

Harry screamed and tackled Sirius.

"STOP COPYING ME!"

"STOP COPYING ME!"

"WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP?!?!" James yelled. "Remus, we've created a monster."

"Only a carbon copy of you, Prongs," Remus replied with a grin.

"Just stop it, will you?" James said.

"Yea, Beaky stop it."

"Yea, Padfoot, stop it."

"Ahh! PISS!" Remus screamed. He covered his ears.

"Come on, guys we need to get back," Sirius said. "They'll think we got caught."

"We almost did," Harry pointed out.

"Well, Sirius gave both of you PISS," Remus said. "Although not as severe as BISS, it will make the victims like Sirius, or in a word, insane. And you still haven't given me your prescriptions."

"What prescriptions?" James, Sirius, and Harry said innocently.

"ARGH! Well, let's just get back, before they come looking for us."

"OK," said Harry. "Let me put the Silencing Charm back on..."

So Harry put a Silencing Charm on them, and they headed off. Sirius and Harry managed not to bite each other's heads off, and when they finally got to the portrait of Godric Gryffindor, they were all tired as heck.

"What were you doing?" Lily said. "We almost went out to look for you... did you get caught?"

"No, dearest," James said. "But we did manage to do a great number of other things."

"This will be a night to remember," Remus said as he closed the door. "We have the ultimate blackmail item over the ultimate blackmail victim..."

"...We gave Snape the potion..."

"...Snape will have a little surprise at breakfast..."

"...We found out that Snape is a briefs man..."

"...We just barely escaped Filch..."

"...Sirius gave James and Harry PISS..."

"HEY!"

"Well, you did! And you three still haven't given me your prescriptions!"

"What prescriptions?" they said innocently.

"Oh, and a new Marauder has entered our midst," Sirius added.

"Harry, they're scaring me," said Malfoy. "What happened?"

"Oh, well, we got there, and we found out that Snape slept naked..."

"YUCK!" said Lily and Malfoy.

"Yea, I know... anyway, we did our job, and Moony here thought it would be funny if he brought a camera..."

"So we had a little photo shoot," said James. "Then Sirius got the idea that it would be funny if we got Laura Zabini involved..."

"So then she was there and Sirius thought of a whole bunch of- er- unique poses for them..." Remus said.

"So then by the time we left, I had a Silencing Charm on them," said Harry. "You can thank Sirius for that..."

"Hey! I can't help it if Zabini is hot!" Sirius said.

"Don't worry, Sirius- I'll tell Narcissa all about this for you..." said Lily.

"You wouldn't!"

"I would."

"She would, Sirius. Believe me, she would," James said.

"But I promise to keep my mouth shut," Lily said. "For a price."

Sirius groaned. "We've had a bad influence on her," he said to James.

"IF you promise not to do the Marauder dance of victory tomorrow at breakfast."

Sirius sighed. "Phew," he said.

"Anyway," said James. "We were in the hallway when Mrs. Norris sowed up... and than she got Filch..."

"And then Harry," Remus said, "remembered a secret passageway, and thus, saved the day."

"And now I present to you, Beaky, the 5^th Marauder!" Sirius said, gesturing at a beaming Harry.

"Now, son," said James looking stern. "You have a very important job to do."

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it..." said Remus.

"What?" said Malfoy.

"Muggle TV," Remus said.

"Anyway, you must not only cause mischief and mayhem here with us..." Sirius said.

"...But you must also carry on our work in the next generation," James said.

"Imagine Hogwarts without us!" Remus said.

"Alas, it would be a much quieter place," Lily said.

"Quiet? In other words, boring," said Sirius.

"And thus, we come to the Marauder secret Operation Monkey," Lily said.

"Oh, you've done a nice job keeping it secret," said Harry.

"Hey, she's my girlfriend," James said. "She would have found out soon enough anyway."

"Whatever, you were saying?" Harry said.

"Oh, uh..." Remus said, pointing at Malfoy.

"I'll help too!" said Malfoy. "I can be the Slytherin branch!"

"It's okay," Harry said. "Anything you can tell me, you can tell Malfoy."

"But if he gives away his position..." said Sirius.

"He won't," Harry said, more firmly than he intended to. They stared at him. Harry was fingering the Clitoral Band on the chain around his neck. "Er- just trust me on this, OK?"

"Okay," James sighed. "But- er- Malfoy you need to pick an animal."

"An animal? Why an animal?" Lily said.

"Oh- er- just something we have planned for tomorrow night," James said sheepishly. Sirius and Remus looked at him.

"We told you to tell her!" Remus said.

"I thought she wouldn't let us do it," James said guiltily.

Sirius sighed. "Lily, we're attempting the Animagus transformation tomorrow night," he said.

"We've been preparing for two years now," said Remus. "We're ready. So is Peter. And these two," he said, jerking his head at Harry and Malfoy. "They're Bades, they can manage."

"Well- okay," said Lily. "Just- be careful."

"We were planning on that," said James. "Anyhow, Malfoy, pick an animal."

"Er..." Malfoy thought. "A snake."

"Er- Remus?" Sirius said.

"Snake gives me heartburn," Remus reassured him.

"Good," said James. "Sirius?"

"Hmm... this is a tough one..." said Sirius.

"He's thinking of a Marauder nickname," Harry said. "By the way, Pettigrew's Wormtail, he's a rat, Sirius is Padfoot, he's a big black dog, and Dad is Prongs, a stag. And I'm going to be a hawk, so I'm going to be Beaky."

"Oh- er, Malfoy, you're going to have to be a part of the next generation of Marauders," James said. "Beaky would be, but... under the circumstances..."

"And anyway, he picked you to be a Marauder, so that would make you next generation anyway," Remus said.

"I'm cool with that," Malfoy said.

"I've got one!" Sirius said. "How about Boa?"

Harry burst out laughing. James was giggling. Sirius was grinning. Malfoy was laughing too. Remus and Lily were looking at them like they were crazy (which, in Sirius's case, they were.).

"Not you too, Malfoy!" Remus groaned. "All three of you, prescriptions, now!"

"What prescriptions?" they said innocently.

"ARGH! ISS!" he hid his face in his hands. This made Harry laugh louder.

Lily was just about pulling her hair out. "WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP???" she screamed. Harry stood up, took a few deep breaths, and attempted speech.

"Good one, Padfoot," Harry said. "Now just don't do it again, OK?"

"Aww- do I have to?" said Sirius.

"Yes, you have to, Padfoot," said James, recovering. "Otherwise you'll start PLS: Potter Laughing Syndrome."

Malfoy sniggered. "Boa, eh? Let's just hope I don't turn into a rattle snake."

"Yea, Malfoy. Anyway, what's Operation Monkey?" Harry said.

"Operation: Monkey is the attempt to continue our work into the next generation," Remus said.

"That's why we created the Marauders' Map," said James.

"And you two are the living hope of Operation Monkey," Sirius said with a sigh. "Although we weren't exactly hoping for this in particular..."

"Since this would have been a very vague hope," said Remus.

"We were looking for someone who would be at Hogwarts for the next generation. Someone we could trust. Someone who would understand the importance of our work," Sirius said.

"We couldn't get one of the teachers," James said. "For obvious reasons. We needed someone who would be able to stay at Hogwarts. Someone that we could teach all the secrets of Hogwarts."

"In a word, you," said Remus.

"And someone," Sirius said, his voice now lowered to a whisper, "someone to whom we could trust the deepest secret of Hogwarts."

"Which is?" said Harry.

"Something we couldn't put on the Marauders' Map," said James. "Something that couldn't fall into the wrong hands."

"Something that no one but the Marauders," began Remus. Lily cleared her throat.

"And Lily," Remus added. "Know about. Something that connects every room in the castle to one room."

Malfoy and Harry gasped. "This room," said Sirius, "is connected to a secret sign in every room. The sign is hidden, but if you point your wand at it, it glows."

"The sign used to be the Hogwarts emblem," said James. "But we- er- improved it."

"You have to be kidding," Harry said. Remus shook his head.

"We couldn't show you before, because we weren't sure you were Marauder material. But (::grin::) now you can know."

"You're all mad," Malfoy said.

"Well, Padfoot here is..." James said.

"Ahem. I heard that, Jamsie," Sirius said.

"Do us all a favor," James yawned. "And shut up."

Sirius stuck his tounge out at James. James rolled his eyes. "The rest of us are perfectly sane," he assured Malfoy. "We can show you."

"Amaze me," Malfoy said. James pointed his wand at a picture on the wall. Sure enough, a Hogwarts emblem appeared in the middle of it.

But it wasn't a Hogwarts emblem. Taking the place of the traditional lion, eagle, badger, and snake surrounding an H, there was a (were)wolf, a rat, a dog, and a stag surrounding an M.

"Alohomora," he said. A door appeared under the crest. Malfoy's jaw dropped. Harry gasped.

"Let's go," said Sirius. They hurriedly went into the door.

They had entered a VERY large room. There were at least a hundred doors. There was a large couch and a few tables and chairs in the middle. Above each door was written something, which, Harry thought, was the name of the room. He saw Gryffindor common room, Great Hall, and Headmaster's office.

"Er- the furnishings were compliments of us," said Remus. "This is the lobby. In this room are doors to all of the main rooms at Hogwarts."

"This includes all common rooms, all the teacher's offices, Dumbledore's office, Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, and a boy's bathroom added for convenience," James said with a wink.

"Well, Boa, do you believe us now?" Sirius said.

Malfoy nodded. "Wow," he said. "Convenient."

"Yes, we realized that," said Remus. "Anyway, that's not all."

"There's more?" said Harry.

"Well, naturally," said James. "We discovered this place in 2^nd year. But we haven't shown you our masterpiece." He grinned insanely.

"They have been working on this for years," Lily muttered. "When they could have been getting passing grades in Potions."

"Marauder Aspelk," Sirius said, his wand pointing at a brick that had been colored purple. A smoky green Marauders' crest appeared.

"Do you like it? We thought it added to the décor," said Sirius.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Where were you when they gave out brains, Padfoot?"

"Hmm... I was probably in line for good looks," Sirius said.

"Must have been a pretty long line- apparently you didn't get brains or good looks," Malfoy said. Sirius looked at him innocently.

"And how can you say that?" he said as he put on his most angelic smile.

"Hmm- let's see..."

"Oh, be quiet, Boa," Sirius said.

"Despite what the twisted one here says," Remus said as Sirius scowled at him, "this is not just a decoration."

"This is a result of one of the most powerful charms done this century," James said. "And we did it all by ourselves."

Lily frowned at him. "Oh, did I mention 'we' also includes Lily?" James added hastily.

"Yea, Charms is Lily's specialty," Sirius said.

"ANYWAY," said Remus, "this is the result of Operation Monkey."

"Since we knew we couldn't be at Hogwarts in person to teach the next generation of Marauders," James said, "we preserved our memories in this seal."

"With the help of this handy-dandy book we found in the library," Sirius said. "What was it, Lily?"

"Two Not-So-Easy Ways to Preserve a Memory," Lily said. "There was this one and something about preserving it in a book..."

Harry and Malfoy gasped at the same time. They looked at each other.

The diary, Harry thought.

To think they'd have such a book in the library...

I thought Tom had just made the spell up...

We could use it to preserve our memories too!

No way. Dumbledore would have put it in the Restricted Section after the little fiasco in second year.

Shucks.

"Oh, that's er- interesting," Harry said.

"Fascinating," Malfoy said.

"Yea well- you can speak to our memories. It's awesome," Remus said. "We've tested it. It works."

"But it will only work for our descendants," James said. "Sorry Boa."

"That's OK," said Malfoy.

"I guess that's just me then," Harry said. "How do you make it work?"

"Well," said Sirius, "You take your wand and tap one or more of our Animagus or, in Moony's case, lycanthrope (A/N: In case any of u ppl don't kno, lycanthrope means full moon.) forms..."

Remus gasped. "You've been studying!" he said in mock amazement.

"Shut up, Moony... so then you say our nickname(s), depending on who you want to talk to, and we just sort of- appear."

"But only Harry, other than us, will be able to see us," James said pointedly.

"Or hear us," Remus added.

"Exactly," Sirius said.

"But you'll see their 4^th year selves," Lily added. "And they won't know who you are, Harry."

"I see," Harry said. He drew his wand, tapped the stag, and said, "Prongs."

A shadowy figure appeared. "Who raises me from my sleep?" he said in a (very fake) stern voice. Harry knew that voice. It was James Potter.

"'Tis I!" said James. "Or you."

"Oh, hi James. Who's the freak who looks like you?" Harry put his hands on his hips.

"Oh- er- that's Harry, my/your son," James said.

The ghostly James looked at Harry. "Looks just like me... wait a minute, what's he doing here? Moony, have I cracked at last?"

"No, but it's a looooooong story," said Remus.

"Malfoy and I came here by time potion," Harry said.

"Who's Malfoy?"

Harry pointed at Malfoy.

"Howdy there, Malfoy! You look-er- nice," said the ghostly James.

"He can't hear you, you idiot," James (the solid one) said.

"Oh yea."

"He said hi," Harry told Malfoy.

"Oh- er- hi," Malfoy said, waving at the invisible person in front of him.

"Not too bright is he?"

"Nope," Harry said.

"Half an idiot," Sirius said.

"Oh, and here's Lily! How you doing, Lils?"

"She can't hear you either, idiot," Sirius said.

"Good point."

"Anyway," said James. "Harry is going back to his own time in two months. In about twenty years from now, he's going to summon you again. OK?"

"Ok. But why can't you just tell him...?"

"Er- I'll explain later," said James. He wore that look on his face when he thought of his future self, or lack thereof. "Just tell Sirius and Remus that, OK? Not Wormtail," he added firmly.

"No problem, myself. I'll just be going now, shall I?"

"Sure. Mischief managed," James (still the solid one) said.

The ghostly figure disappeared. "He's gone," Harry told Malfoy.

"You have no idea how crazy you just looked," Malfoy said.

"By the way, you still haven't given me your prescriptions," Moony said.

"What prescriptions?" they said.

"No- I'm not going to say it. Let's go to bed, eh? I'm pooped. And we want to be nice and fresh for our blackmail session and prank tomorrow."

"Ohh... Harry, I just thought of something. Now we can get Snape to help us with our presentation," James said.

"Great. I love blackmail," Harry said. Let's get to bed then, shall we?"

They all nodded and went through the door that said "Gryffindor common room." Lily said good night to the boys, and they went theirs separate ways.

They all slept soundly that night.

Harry waked Sirius up the next morning. As Harry shook him awake, he groaned.

"It must be 5:30, Beaky. Don't the words 'beauty sleep' mean anything to you?"

Harry sighed. "For your information, Padfoot, it's 7:30. Don't the words 'revenge on Snape' mean anything to you?"

Sirius jumped up and shouted in glee. There was a mumble and Peter pulled back his curtain.

"Padfoot, normal humans are trying to sleep," he groaned

"Don't fuss, Wormtail," Sirius said. "There is so much to do today! Blackmail, chickens, and rule-breaking!"

"He's cracked, hasn't he, Harry?"

"Nope. We pulled a prank on Snape (we couldn't find you, sorry,) last night."

Wormtail yawned and sat up. "All right then. What did you do?"

"Snape's a chicken!" said Sirius.

"And we've got to blackmail him before that," Harry added.

Sirius pulled on his robes and ran down the stairs to meet the others. Harry dashed down after him.

"They're both cracked," said Wormtail sadly as he got dressed.

"Moony, do you have the camera?"

"Of course I have the camera, Padfoot, you twit. James, do you have the pictures?"

"I thought Boa had them."

"I thought Harry had them."

"I thought Sirius had them."

"Er..."

"PADFOOT!" they yelled.

After a quick Summoning Charm, they had everything they needed. Lily was already in the Great Hall, on the lookout for Snape.

"Ooh, look, there's Snape!" Sirius squealed. The 5 of them headed over to the Slytherin table, where Snape was spreading marmalade on his toast.

"Good morning, Snape," James said sweetly.

"What do you want, Potter?" Snape said without looking up. "Whatever it is, no."

"What makes you think we want anything?" James said, trying to sound hurt.

"We're shocked," said Lily, coming over from the Gryffindor table.

"Can't we just say hello to our favorite Slytherin?" said Sirius, looking offended.

"No. What do you want?"

"Pick a card, any card," Sirius said, holding out the photos facedown. Harry sniggered.

"I don't have time for your baby games, Black. I have much more important things to do," Snape said, getting up to leave.

"Ooh, but Sevvie," said Lily. "We just wanted to play. Puh-lease?" she said. Then she gave him the Smile. Harry saw James's knees turn to butter. Snape gave her a dreamy look, and then took one of photos.

Snape looked at it and screamed at the top of his lungs. He tore it up.

"Oh, but there's more where that came from, Snapie-poo," said Sirius, holding up the photos so that he could see them.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Snape. He tried to hide them. "How'd you get those?" he hissed.

"Oh, just happened to find them lying around," Malfoy said.

"Give me those."

"No, but we won't show them to anyone," said James.

"For a price," added Sirius.

"Name it."

"Well, first of all," said Harry. "You have to help James and I with our report on the founding of Hogwarts."

Snape nodded, looking fowl.

"Second," said Sirius, grinning evilly, "you have to confess your undying love for Professor McGonagall tonight at dinner."

"But- but-"

"Ah, ah, ah," said James, pointing to the pictures.

"Fine," Snape muttered. "Anything else?"

"Well," said Lily, "you have to polish all our wands, plus the boys' broomsticks, tomorrow night. Harry and James will watch you."

"And you have to keep your mouth shut," said James.

"Shut about what?"

"I know you know, Snape," Remus said, looking sober. "And you'd better keep your mouth shut, or..."

"Or these photos are going straight to Rita," Sirius said. "You know we have our ways, Snape."

"If one word of that gets out," said James in a harsh whisper, "I'll personally tear out your organs and use them as tea cups. You got me, Snape? One word..."

"I get it," said Snape, looking terrified.

"And..." said Malfoy.

"There's more?" Snape groaned.

"Oh, there's more all right," said Malfoy. "But it's not that hard."

"All you have to do," said Sirius, "is..."

"Stay sitting down in your seat until everyone has left the Great Hall this morning," Remus said.

"That means no standing up," said Harry. "Just sit quietly and don't get up until everyone is gone."

"Simple enough." Snape shrugged.

"And if you put one more toe out of line," said Malfoy, "you're going to have to be sent home in a matchbox."

"Whatever. But if I can't get up, at least get out of my face." Snape went back to his toast.

As they walked over to the Gryffindor table, James and Sirius gave each other high fives. "YES!" they cried. They put their hands on each other's shoulders.

"Sirius..." said Lily. "Remember our deal... Narcissa's waiting at the table..."

Sirius frowned and sat down in a huff. James and Remus put theirs hands on each other's shoulders. "One, two, three," they said, bending their knees. They twirled around and did the can-can.

"The Marauder Dance of Victory," Sirius whispered to Harry and Draco. "Lily doesn't think too highly of it."

Harry nodded, seeing Lily, looking mad. If looks could kill... Harry thought as Lily stared at them. When James and Remus had sat down, she said, "James Potter, how many times have I told you I hate that dance?"

"I'm sorry, dear," said James.

"Won't happen again," Remus added.

Lily opened her mouth to protest, but James kissed it. Lily blushed as he pulled away. Then she smiled at him.

"I've got to go to the library," she said. Sirius groaned.

"The library again?" But Snape-"

"I'll be back in a few minutes," she said, giving James a kiss on the cheek.

"But-"

"Good-bye, Padfoot," she said as she walked away.

"Why does she always do that?" Remus said.

"Because that's what Lily does," said Harry. "When in doubt, go to the library."

"She must have read the whole library already...she's such a nerd!" Peter said.

"Peter..." said James.

"But really, James, she's so plain, you know... you could have any girl you want, why not make it a good-looking one?"

"Peter, shut up," said James, making a fist.

"And she's so..."

"Wormtail, you really shouldn't..." said Malfoy.

"You don't want to get on James's bad side..." said Harry.

"Oh, shut up you twits... why do you hang out with these losers anyway, Prongs?"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" said James, looking ready to punch Peter. "Will you just shut up, Pete..."

"Peter, James isn't in a good mood," said Moony.

"You don't want to get on Jamsie's bad side about Lily..." said Sirius.

"Fine, but I still don't understand..."

"There are a lot of things you don't understand, Wormtail," Harry said.

"Fine," said Peter, sitting down. "So... are we doing it tonight?" Peter whispered to Sirius.

"It's okay, Peter, Harry and Malfoy are doing it too," said Sirius.

"But they aren't Marauders," Peter said, looking confused.

"Actually," said James, "they are. They got us out of a tight space with Filch... Wormtail, meet Beaky and Boa."

"I'm a hawk and Malfoy's a snake," Harry whispered to Wormtail.

"But- we've been studying for years..."

"We can manage," said Malfoy a little too quickly. Wormtail looked strangely at him.

"Er- we've been studying too," Harry said. "Years, right, Malfoy?"

Play along.

"Er- yea, since our first year," Malfoy said.

"Oh. All right then," Wormtail said, spreading butter on his toast. Harry was strongly reminded of Dudley.

"It's 8:25," said Malfoy. "Lily had better hurry up..."

At that moment Lily burst into the Great Hall. She ran over to the Gryffindor table.

"You're just in time," said Remus. "He should transform any minute..."

Just as Remus was saying this, there was a large >pop< at the Slytherin table. In the place of where Snape had been sitting was a large, fat hen with a long, crooked nose.

Sirius grabbed the camera from Remus and snapped a few pictures as the Great Hall collapsed in laughter. The brief's writing glimmered silver:

WARNING: Greasy-Haired Slytherin Ahead. BEWARE!!!

The duck cast a look of loathing at the Gryffindor table. "CLUCK!!!" it- er, Snape, said.

The whole Great Hall fell over laughing. Sirius was pounding the floor with his fists; Moony was snapping pictures, James was holding onto Lily to gain balance. Lily herself was giggling like mad. Peter was struggling to stand up. Harry was laughing hysterically, and he fell over onto the floor. Malfoy was smiling widely and trying to hoist Sirius up. He failed miserably, however, and ended up on the floor next to Harry.

After a few minutes, Snape, who was standing on the Slytherin table, changed back. His briefs were shining brightly. He scowled at the Marauders as he got off the table to run away, but Sirius shook his finger, held up one of the photos and pointed to Rita Skeeter, who was scribbling on her notepad at the Hufflepuff table.

Snape was seeing red. He sat down in a huff and shouted "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, POTTER!"

Breakfast was a very enjoyable affair that morning. The laughter eventually lessened, but a constant giggle kept up. To the Marauders' surprise, no teacher even came to the Gryffindor table. Even Professor Theorax was giggling.

James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Harry, Malfoy, Lily, and Narcissa made a special effort to be the last ones in the Great Hall. Sirius had told Narcissa about the photos, and she was still giggling madly.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Chicken Boy," Sirius said.

"Shut up, Black," Snape said, reaching for his robes.

"Tut, tut, tut, we're still here," said James. "You do remember our deal, don't you?"

"How could I forget?" Snape muttered.

"And you be extra careful about that little secret, Snape," said Harry. "Or I swear I'll tell Dumbledore about that little tattoo and what it means to you..."

"What are you talking about?" said Snape, looking thoroughly confused.

"You know what I mean."

"Actually, no, I don't."

"Your lying won't work on me, Snape."

"WHAT TATTOO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???"

"Never mind. But you keep your mouth shut, or your casket will be a matchbox, you hear?"

"Just shut up, Finnigan."

"What secret?" said Narcissa, seeming confused.

"Tut, tut, tut, you haven't told her, have you Black? Typical lying scum..."

"Snape..." said Sirius, looking defensive.

"Oh, don't worry, Black, I'll keep Lupin's little secret. I'm just saying that you ought to tell your friends..."

"Snape, will you shut up???" said Sirius, looking very protective.

"Aww, sticking up for your little girlfriend, are you? I never thought you'd actually care about one of your flirts... then again, things change, don't they Black?"

"Let's go, guys," Sirius said. "Don't listen to a word he says, Nar..."

Narcissa nodded as they walked out of the Great Hall.

"What was he talking about, Sirius?" she said once they had left. "What's Remus got to do with this?"

"Er... listen, why don't we go visit Hagrid? We've got the day off, it's Saturday..." said Sirius.

"Oh no you don't, Sirius Ian Black! You are going to tell me what exactly Remus has to do with this mess or I won't ever speak to you again! You think you can keep our relationship up with a big secret in the way?!"

"Er, I'll just go now, shall I?" said Remus, looking desperate.

"Oh no you don't, Remus! Will you tell me what it is, if this little piece of lying scum won't?"

"What'd you call me?" said Sirius.

"You're a bit of lying scum! To think I kissed you... yech!"

"Narcissa, why this sudden anger? Why are you so angry at me?"

"Because there can't be a relationship when there's a secret!"

"You wouldn't understand!"

"And I thought I meant more to you than one of those arrogant Hufflepuffs! Tell me why, Sirius Black, tell me why you never told me, and maybe I'll let you live."

"I just couldn't, okay? Remus is my friend, and I keep his secrets!"

"Remus is my friend too, and you're my soon to be ex-boyfriend! Any secret Remus can tell you, I should be able to know!"

"Er- actually Mum..." said Malfoy.

"Not you too, Draco! Tell me, son! Tell me what it is!"

"Malfoy don't!" Harry said. "Don't tell her!"

"Narcissa, please," Remus said. "I asked Sirius not to tell anyone!"

"A girlfriend should be more important than a silly secret. Look me in the eye, Sirius Ian Black, and tell me that I mean nothing to you."

Sirius looked into her eyes. "Go on, do it! I know you can! I'm just one out of the crowd, aren't I? Go on, say it!"

"I- I can't," said Sirius, as he looked away.

"No? Then tell me why you didn't tell me! Look into my eyes and tell me why," she said, jerking up his head and holding it up to her face, so that their eyes were level.

"Because Remus is my friend, and friends keep friend's secrets," Sirius said defiantly.

"Now tell me that if I really meant something to you, you would have told me."

"I can't," he said, closing his eyes.

"Then tell me why not, you overgrown (beep)," said Narcissa, looking harsh.

"Because I love you!" he cried. He shook off her grip and ran up to Gryffindor Tower. Narcissa stared after him.

"I don't believe him," she said, shaking her head. "He can't love me. Sirius and love don't mix."

"Narcissa, he means it," said James, looking serious. "He may be a twit sometimes, but he doesn't lie."

"Then tell me, Remus, what was so secret that my own boyfriend couldn't tell me."

Remus gulped. He closed his eyes. "I can't, Narcissa. I just can't."

"Not you too! You little-"

"Mum, shut up," Malfoy snapped. "He doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to!"

"And now you're turning my own son against me? What kind of plot are you making against me?"

"Narcissa," said Lily comfortingly, "you have to understand..."

"I do not have to understand Lily Evans! I thought you were my best friend, and you kept Remus's little secret too? You bastard!" She came up and slapped Lily's face.

"NARCISSA HARLEM, YOU LEAVE MY MUM ALONE!!!" Harry shouted. He took his wand and jabbed it at her throat. "Sirius had a perfectly good reason not to tell you, and now you've broken his heart. Remus has a secret, and he can keep it that way if he chooses."

"Harry, stop," Remus said. "I don't want everyone to fight over me."

"Remus-" said James.

"Prongs, I've made up my mind. She can know."

"Are you sure you want to do this, Moony?" said Lily.

"First of all, Remus, tell me why Sirius couldn't tell me," Narcissa said, pushing Harry's wand away.

"Well, I asked him not to. I made them all promise not to tell."

"Which we would have done anyway," Lily said.

"You have to understand I haven't told anyone. They all found out on their own. Wormtail- where is Wormtail anyway?" said Remus.

"Doesn't matter. Go ahead, Remus," James said.

"Anyway, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Lily found out on their own. Harry and Malfoy- well, I guess the future holds the answer."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" said Narcissa.

"I thought they would hate me," Remus said. "Hate me for what I am. Hate me for putting them in danger."

"What are you? What danger?" Narcissa said, suddenly looking curious and confused.

"I'm a werewolf, Narcissa."

Narcissa stared at him. "No," she said, shaking her head. "You- you can't be. It's not true."

"It is," said Lily. "He's a werewolf, Nar."

"But- how-?"

"I was a small boy when I received the bite," Remus said. "And if I had not, alas, the future would have been happier. If I hadn't been so careless-" Remus choked. James put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, James. I'm so sorry, Lily. It never would have happened if-"

"Moony, it wasn't your fault," said Harry, trying to comfort him. Moony choked and fell to his knees.

"Oh Harry, I'm so, so sorry," he whispered. "If I hadn't been so careless, you would have had parents. You would have had a godfather to care for you. That miserable rat would have been caught."

"Remus Lupin, you shouldn't feel sorry for me or anyone else," Harry said. "Listen to me, Moony. It- wasn't- your- fault."

"Now Sirius's heart is broken into itty-bitty pieces," said Remus, "and I could have avoided it. He really and truly loved you, Narcissa. And because of me he'll never love anyone that much again.

"Remus, I don't blame you," Narcissa said, kneeling down next to him. "It wasn't your fault. It couldn't have been avoided."

"Remus, I have to go talk to Sirius," James said. "He needs me."

Remus nodded. "Tell him I'm sorry," he said.

"Moony, you don't have to be-"

"Just tell him, Prongs." James nodded and went out.

James hurried up to the empty Transfiguration classroom. He pointed his wand at the blackboard. "Alohomora," he said as the crest appeared. He climbed through the door that had appeared and found himself in the lobby.

He hurried over to the 'Gryffindor 5^th year Boys' Dorm' door and flung it open. He closed it and looked around.

The curtains around Sirius's bed were pulled. James pulled them back gently.

"Go away," Sirius choked. Tears were silently falling down his cheeks.

"Padfoot-"

"Just go away!"

"Narcissa isn't mad at you."

"You're just saying that. She hates me."

"No she doesn't. She thinks you were very brave to stand up to her like that for your friend."

"What are you talking about, Prongs? She was just screaming at me for sticking up for Moony."

"He told her, Padfoot. She knows."

Sirius looked up at him. His eyes were very red, and his face was wet with salty tears. "But- Moony wouldn't have told her..."

"He did."

"He shouldn't have done that."

"He felt that it was worth it. He loves you like a brother, Sirius."

"Like I love both of you. But Narcissa-"

"She's taking it well. She understands that you were under an obligation."

"Oh."

"By the way, Remus says he's sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"He thinks that it was his fault Narcissa broke your heart."

Sirius leaped up. "No- he shouldn't be sorry. It was an accident. He never meant to-"

"I know. You try telling him that."

"I've got to talk to him." Sirius picked up his wand and started to point it at the crest, but James interrupted him.

"What about Narcissa?"

"What about her?"

"You're not mad at her, are you?"

"What do you think I need to talk to him about? She's a (beep)."

"Sirius, she's-"

" A (beep-ing beep)! She goes around screaming at me like she owns me, and then she makes Remus have a nervous breakdown? Nuh-uh. That's too much for me. I hope I never see her ugly face again."

"You love her, don't you?"

"That's the reason I hate her, Prongs. I hate her for doing that to me. I want to stand up for myself and not give it all up for just some girl. That's why I can't see her. I can't take it. You wouldn't understand. I hate her because I love her."

James nodded. "I understand. But I think she loves you too, Sirius. I really do." And he walked away.

James collapsed onto one of the couches in the common room. This was just great. Remus was feeling guilty; Sirius hated Narcissa... could the day get any worse?

He decided to try and talk some sense into his best friends. He opened the door in the Gryffindor common room. Once in the lobby he went through to the Transfiguration room. He hurried out of it.

He saw Sirius and Remus talking in a corner. Narcissa was standing in the middle of the room with her lip trembling.

"Come on, Nar, cheer up," said James.

"He hates me."

"Only half as much as he loves you."

"That was so sweet."

"Thanks. Where are Harry, Malfoy, and Lily?"

"Harry and Draco are talking somewhere, and Lily is seeing if the chicken is still in the Great Hall."

James nodded. At that very moment Lily burst out of the Great Hall, with Snape at her side. Sirius and Remus looked at her strangely as she marched over to James.

"James Potter, I hate you. I loathe you. I despise you. The mere sight of you makes me sick. I'm actually deeply in love with Servus. As of right now, I never want to see your pitiful little face again," she screamed. She walked back over to Snape, giving him a kiss on the lips.

With that they walked away, leaving a very shaken-looking James behind.

*

Maybe

I'm just not good enough for you.

And maybe

I just don't want to be like you.

And maybe I just don't wanna know

How low you're ready to go.

I'm not gonna change,

You can't make me... Whoa!

You don't,

You don't,

You don't,

You don't,

You don't mean anything to me!

You don't,

You don't,

You don't,

You don't,

You don't mean anything to me!

You're what I never want to be.

Tell me

Does it feel good to be like you?

And tell me

Why should I waste my time with you?

And baby you always bring me down,

I'm sick of being pushed around.

I'm not gonna change,

You can't make me... Whoa!

-You Don't Mean Anything, Simple Plan

James plopped down on the ground in shock. Sirius and Remus hurried over to him. "Prongs?" said Remus.

James blinked as silent tears ran down his cheeks. He stared at the wall. "She hates me," he croaked.

"Oh no," said Sirius. "Remus, go find Harry and Malfoy. Now." Remus ran away.

Narcissa moved towards James. "Don't you touch him!" Sirius snapped. "Haven't you broken enough hearts today?" Narcissa walked away without a word.

"James?"

"She hates me."

"Are you okay?"

"No. I got dumped for Snape."

"Don't say it like that. It makes me sick."

"I miss her."

"I know."

"Why does she hate me?"

"I don't know, James. I just don't know."

At that moment Harry burst into the room, a look of mixed shock, sorrow, and pity on his face. Malfoy and Remus were right behind him.

"Dad?" Harry said, sitting next to his father. "Dad, are you OK?"

"She hates me."

"It's OK. What happened?"

"It's not OK. I got dumped for Snape."

"WHAT???"

"I got dumped for Snape."

"Oh- my- gosh," said Harry, shaking his head.

"She hates me."

"It's okay, Dad."

"It's not okay. It'll never be OK without Lily." He burst into tears and ran out of the hall. Harry ran after him.

"He got dumped for SNAPE?" Malfoy asked. Remus nodded.

"He loves Lily more than anything in the world. He would die for her."

"Boy, he would," Malfoy muttered. "Anyway, where's Mum?"

"Nar is probably off crying somewhere, the stupid git," Sirius growled.

"What? You're not still mad, are you?"

"He is," Remus whispered.

"But- I thought you loved her."

"I do. That's why I hate her."

"Fine. But if you want to know, she really loves you too." Malfoy walked away.

Remus put his face in his hands. "A fine day it is, today. And it started out so great, too."

Meanwhile, Harry was chasing his dad out to the lake. Apparently James didn't notice he was being followed. He sat down by the lake and gave an enormous sob. Harry sat next to him.

"Dad, you'll get over it..."

James shook his head. "No, I won't She's the whole world to me. I can't live without her.

*

A beautiful girl can make you dizzy,

Like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning.

She can make you feel hot,

Full of the single hottest commodity known to man.

Promise.

Promise of a better day,

Promise of a greater hope,

Promise of a new tomorrow.

This particular orb

Can be found in the gate of a beautiful girl.

In her smile, in her soul,

And the way she makes every rotten little thing in life

Seem like it's going to be okay.

-Taking Back Sunday, Great Romances of the 21^st Century

*

"Dad..."

"I'll never get over it, Harry! Never without her!" he sobbed.

"Listen... I'll go talk to her..."

James waved his hand, telling him to go. Harry sighed and walked away.

"Accio Marauders' Map!" he whispered. A piece of parchment came zooming down through the window of Gryffindor Tower, and it flew straight to Harry. He caught it, unfolded it, and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!"

The map appeared. He scanned the page for the words Lily Evans and Servus Snape. He found them walking in the Charms corridor. He raced inside, didn't stop when Remus, Sirius and Malfoy looked at him in surprise, and ran all the way up to the Charms corridor.

There he found Lily, walking hand in hand with Snape. They were kissing. YUCK!

"Lily," he said. "I need to talk to you."

"Sod off, Finnigan. Don't you see I'm busy?" she snapped. Harry looked at her in surprise. He looked deep into her eyes, and saw that she was struggling. Puzzled, Harry walked away.

He went back down to the Entrance Hall, where Malfoy, Sirius, and Remus were talking.

"What were you doing, Beaky?" said Sirius.

"I tried to talk to Lily."

"And?" said Remus.

"She told me to sod off."

"Oh," he said, looking disappointed. Harry decided not to tell him about the look of struggling in her eyes.

"Is Prongs OK?" said Sirius.

"You know he'll never be okay until he has her back, Sirius. If he ever gets her back. I saw them kissing."

"Lily? Kissing Snape?" said Malfoy. The 4 of them looked at each other. "YUCK!"

"I thought she had more self-pride than that," said Sirius, shaking his head. "But I guess I was wrong. She's gone to the Dark side."

"WHAT?" said Harry.

"Snape- he's a- a-" said Remus.

"Death Eater," said Harry. "I know. But I didn't think... he's only 15..."

"Oh, he's a Death Eater all right," said Sirius. "We saw the Dark Mark on his arm, didn't we, Moony?"

"Yup. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore knows though," said Remus, looking confused. "But I don't see why Dumbledore would let him stay if he knew he was a Death Eater."

"Oh, I'm sure Dumbledore has his reasons," Harry said.

"Yea, he knows everything that goes on in this school," Malfoy said. "I reckon he was even pretty close to finding the Chamber of Secrets..."

"The what of what?" said Sirius.

"The Chamber of Secrets! It's a school legend!" said Remus. Apparently he had read Hogwarts, A History too. "It is said that Slytherin built a secret chamber far below the school, of which the other founders knew nothing. As the legend goes, when Slytherin's own true heir comes to the school, it will awaken the monster in the chamber, and rid the school of all unworthy to study magic. It's just a legend, however. Even if it is a good one."

Harry and Malfoy looked at each other. "Er- no," said Harry. "It's not a legend. It's real."

"WHAT?" said Remus.

"Yea. Fifty- or I guess now it's 30- years ago the Chamber was opened," Malfoy said. "By Tom Riddle."

"Tom Riddle?" said Sirius. "Where have I heard that before... he's got a trophy in the Trophy Room, hasn't he?"

"Yea- how'd you know?"

"We've had Trophy Duty enough times," Sirius said. "Tom M. Riddle got an award for Special Services to the school. What does that have to do with anything, though?"

"Tom Riddle opened the Chamber of Secrets," Harry said. "He got his award for framing someone else. Hagrid."

"Oh my gosh!" said Remus. "He told me he was expelled in his third year... that must be why!"

"And then," said Malfoy. "The Chamber was opened again. Me and Harry's second year. Harry's friend's sister was taken into the Chamber. His other friend was attacked."

"Then Ron and I went into the Chamber to rescue her," Harry said. "Oh, and we brought along that git Lockhart too."

"Wait a minute- how'd you get in? Only the Heir of Slytherin can open the Chamber," Remus said. Harry shook his head.

"The entrance is in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."

"WHAT???"

"You heard me! It's on one of the taps. There's a picture of a snake. If you say 'open up' it opens."

"Open up?" said Sirius. "Doesn't that seem a little- er- simple?"

"Beaky here's being modest," said Malfoy. "Go on, Harry, tell them. They deserve to know."

"I'm a Parselmouth," Harry whispered. "That's why I could open the Chamber."

"WHAT????????"

"You're a Parselmouth?" said Sirius. "Harry- that's a bad sign. Parselmouths almost always turn out to be Dark wizards. Slytherin was one. You-Know-Who is one."

"I don't understand," Remus said. "If you have to be a Parselmouth to open the Chamber, how could Tom Riddle open it?"

"Er..." said Harry.

"Umm..." said Malfoy.

"Wait," said Sirius. "Are you trying to tell me that Tom Riddle is You-Know-Who?"

Harry nodded. Sirius fainted.

"Sirius!" said Remus. "Ennervate!" Sirius got up and rubbed his head.

"Whoa," he said, "and I thought Riddle was good-looking!"

"I think we've all been getting beside the point," said Remus.

"Yea," said Sirius, still rubbing his head. "As I see it, there are two possibilities. Either Snape did something to Lily, or they've both cracked."

"Lily hasn't cracked," said a voice by the door. It was James.

"Prongs- are you telling me that after all that, you still love her?" Malfoy said.

James nodded. "I still love her," he whispered. "I love her so much it hurts."

"Let's go to the library, eh? We ought to make sure we have everything ready for tonight..." Harry said.

"Hi James," said a voice. It was a Ravenclaw 4^th year girl. Apparently the word that James was free had spread like wildfire.

"Er- who are you?" he said.

"I'm Lillian Waters," she said sweetly. "And I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me sometime..."

"No," he said firmly, and walked away. Sirius, Remus, Harry, and Malfoy followed him.

Later that night James was still sulking. He hadn't even laughed at dinner when Snape had confessed his undying love for McGonagall. His attention was at the seat next to him, where Lily was sitting, laughing because she knew it was a joke.

Late that night (early the next morning?) at one o'clock, the Marauders snuck out. Peter was very nervous, and James was still feeling down. Everyone else was excited.

"Come on, Prongs, cheer up," Sirius said. "Do you want me to put a Cheering Charm on you?"

"Can you?"

"Of course I can, James! It's bloody third-year magic! I'm not that stupid."

"Let me rephrase that: Will you?"

"Of course I will. Stand still." Padfoot tried to put a Cheering Charm on him. He failed miserably. James cracked a huge grin and fell over laughing.

"I think you overdid it, Padfoot," said Remus.

"No, really, Moony? Let's see- how do you get these blasted things off..."

"Er- I'll do it, Padfoot," said Harry, sounding worried. "Finite Incantantem!" James stood up, looking miserable again. "Femurs Cheerus!" said Harry. James cast him a small grin.

"I feel loads better. No thanks to you, Sirius," he added.

"Ahem! I tried!"

"And failed miserably," said Remus.

"Let's just go already!" said Peter.

"Yea, we don't even have the Invisibility Cloak," said Malfoy. ::Cough::James::cough::

"I had lent it to Lily, and I wasn't about to ask for it back!" said James. "So let's just go!"

They walked out to the Whomping Willow. They were going to do this in the Shrieking Shack. Remus picked up a long stick and touched the knot that made the tree freeze. They all climbed in. Harry heard the branches thrash after he walked through the hole.

"All right," said James. "We each have to drink some of the potion, and then Remus can put the charm on us. OK?"

"Okay," they answered. Remus ladled large slops of the potion they had made into goblets.

"Now, you have to drink all of it," said Remus. "Otherwise it won't work."

"Right, on the count of three," Harry said.

"One..." said Sirius,

"...two..." said Peter,

"..three!" cried James. They all drained their goblets. Harry gagged. It tasted worse than the Polyjuice Potion. He swallowed quickly. It burned his throat.

"BLARGH!" said Sirius. "This stuff tastes worse than my mum's chicken soup!"

Peter looked like he was going to throw up. "Just get on with the charm, Remus."

"Right," said Remus. He started chanting softly. His wand was pointed at all of them. Harry wondered how he could remember this whole chant. His voice grew steadily louder.

"ARBUTAN COLSTRA EVVILIOUS!" he cried. A burst of white light came from the tip of his wand. Remus was hurtled backwards, and they all fell over. Harry felt his heart seize. He gasped. When his heart was beating regularly again, he stood up.

"It worked!" said Remus. He sounded surprised. "Now if you concentrate, you can transform."

Harry took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He concentrated as hard as he could on a hawk. His eyes were shut tight and made a fist- he was squeezing his hand so hard it almost broke his skin...

Suddenly, he heard a series of >pops< and he opened his eyes. He looked down. He saw feathers. He smiled to himself. It worked! He thought. He flapped his arms/wings and felt himself lift gently into the air. It was just like riding a broomstick.

He looked down. There, below him, was a poisonous green snake, otherwise known as Malfoy. Next to the snake was a beautiful white stag, his father. In a corner, Harry saw a rat he recognized as Scabbers, looking down at his paws. Sirius was jumping up on Remus.

"Get down, Padfoot, you idiot..." Sirius licked Remus's face. "Padfoot, get off me!" he said. Sirius got off him reluctantly. He walked over to the stag, barked, and stuck out his tounge. James kicked him. Sirius transformed back into a boy.

"Go Prongs!" said Remus.

"What'd you do that for, Jamsie?" he said. James stuck his tounge out at him. Harry sighed. He flew around in a circle and hooted, or whatever sound hawks make.

"Shut up, Harry," Sirius said, trying to reach Harry. Harry landed and transformed.

Harry laughed. "Hey how come Harry gets to fly?" James said as he transformed.

"Tough luck, Jamsie," Sirius said.

"You call me Jamsie one more time..."

"Don't worry, I won't," Sirius said with an evil grin, "Jamsie."

"ARGH!" James leaped onto Sirius. Sirius tried to get away from him, but James tackled him.

"Do you surrender?" said James.

"No," said Sirius. "I have not yet begun to fight!"

James stared at him. "Muggles," he said with a shrug. James leapt onto him and started tickling him.

"AHH! NOOOOO!" cried Sirius as he laughed. "Stop... help me Remus!"

"AH! PISS!" said Remus. He started laughing. "Come on, you guys, you need to take your medication... give me your prescriptions!"

"What prescriptions?" they said innocently. Then James went back to tickling Sirius. Remus sighed.

"Harry, how long must I suffer these two?"

"Quite a while, I should think," Harry said. "At least James isn't sulking anymore."

"True. But this isn't much of an improvement."

Peter transformed. He sighed. "I'm so small and boring," he said. "Grey is so dull."

"What, would you rather be yellow?" Sirius said, escaping James. Harry started cracking up.

"Geez, Harry, I know I have a gift with words, but it wasn't that funny," Sirius said, watching Malfoy transform. He was laughing too.

"No, it's just that- Ron tried to turn his pet rat Scabbers yellow in first year," he said with a wink.

"And he failed miserably, too," added Malfoy.

"What- OH!" said Sirius, with a grin of understanding that he hardly ever had.

"Harry, what's so funny?" said James. Harry pointed at Peter, then held out his other hand, and then clapped them together.

"OH!" said Remus and James together.

"Let's go," said Peter. "I'm tired."

"I think I'm going to fly back," said Harry. "I'll meet you guys in the common room."

"OK," said James as he watched Harry transform. "Be careful." The hawk nodded, then flew out an open window.

As Harry flew over the grounds, he saw two people sitting by the lake. Curious, Harry swooped down to see who it was.

It was Lily and Snape. They were kissing. YECH! Harry thought. He was about to fly away when Lily broke the kiss abruptly and cried, "STOP!"

Harry gasped. He flew down and ran his sharp beak into Snape's head. He bit him hard. Snape screamed and ran away. Harry landed next to Lily, who was breathing hard, and transformed.

"Harry!" she gasped. "Sorry- can't- he- James- tell James-" but she cut off as Snape came near. "Go!" she whispered. Harry transformed and flew up to Gryffindor Tower, wondering what in bloody hell was going on.

"And that's what happened," Harry said.

He had just finished explaining to the Marauders what had happened. Remus was thinking. "That's odd," he said.

"There has to be something wrong with Lily," Malfoy said. "It's the only explanation."

They all looked at James, who was clenching his fists and breathing hard. "If Snape hurts her in any way," he said in a harsh whisper. "I will personally kill him. I don't need my wand. Just give me 5 minutes alone with him, and he'll be dead."

"James," said Sirius softly, "I'm not saying that isn't a good idea, but-"

"Maybe we ought to wait until tomorrow to discuss this," Harry said quickly, seeing the look in James's eyes. Clearly the Cheering Charm had worn off. He nodded.

"Okay. I'm okay. I'm just tired," he said. He went up and got into bed without another word.

The rest of them shrugged and went up after him. But they knew that he was really not okay, because they heard him crying in the hours he thought no one else was awake.

The next week went by without much happening. Lily was seen making out with Snape all over the school, James was sulking, and Sirius was disgusted. Snape had done all of his punishments, and had arranged with the other Heirs some tricks to do for their presentation. Harry and James were almost done with their Advanced DADA report, since it was the only thing they could think of to do all day.

Saturday morning at breakfast, one week after James had broken up with Lily, exactly 86 girls had asked him out, 20 girls had tried to kiss him, and he had gotten pleas for forgiveness from 79 old girlfriends (Boy, was he a cheat before, huh?). But he had turned them all down. This was a good sign, Harry thought. As long as he still loves Lily...

That morning, James didn't come to sit at the Gryffindor table. He went over to the Slytherin table to where Lily and Snape were sitting. He was fingering something in his pocket.

"Lily, can I talk to you?" he said.

"Sod off, Potter," she said.

"Please? Just for a minute?" Lily looked over at Snape.

"Go ahead," Snape said, "but don't you try anything funny with my girlfriend, Potter."

Lily got up and stood next to James. "Well? Talk, Potter!"

"Let's go over to the lake," James said, still fingering the thing in his pocket.

"Fine," she said reluctantly. They walked out of the Hall silently.

They started to walk around the lake. They weren't holding hands; as a matter of fact Lily seemed to want to keep at least 4 meters from James. He didn't mind. He was looking into her eyes. Tat shine that was usually in them was gone. Something was wrong. Maybe-

"Well, Potter, we must have walked around this damned lake 3 times already, and you still haven't said a word. What do you want, Potter?"

James cleared his throat. "Sweet Lily, I love you. There are no words to describe how much I love you. I love you so much it frightens me. I love you more than life itself. Please forgive me for whatever I've done."

Lily just stared at him. There was something about that stare that made him uneasy. She still didn't speak, so he continued.

"Do you love me, Lily?"

She stared at him. James looked like he was going to cry. "OK," he said. He pulled the something he had been fingering out of his pocket.

It was a knife.

Lily stared at it. What was he going to do?

"Good-bye, Lily," he said, holding the knife up to his throat. "I love you."

He closed his eyes and started to bring the knife backwards. Very slowly, it made contact with his skin as she watched in horror- there was a cut in his throat- he was bleeding-

"JAMES NO!" she screamed. She grabbed the knife from him by the blade- it cut her but she didn't care. She was crying hard.

"James Harold Potter, you stupid, stupid boy, you idiot! What in the world caused you to do this?"

"If I can't have you, life means nothing to me. I can't live without you. Give me the knife!" he said, grabbing for it.

"NO!!!!" she said, throwing the knife on the ground and stomping it in two. "You are not going to kill yourself, James Potter!"

"WHY NOT?"

"Because I love you!" she screamed, throwing her arms around him. "I love you more than I love anything else! I love you so much it hurts! And it upsets me to think that you thought I would do something like that to you!"

"But Lily- why? Why?" James whispered, hugging her so tight she thought she was going to explode.

"It was a love potion! James I'm so, so, so sorry... I tried to tell Harry- I'm so sorry!" she cried.

"Shh, it's okay, Lily," James said, "everything's okay as long as we're together." And he kissed her, gentle, sweet, soft kisses. And she kissed him back, long, passionate, heart-breaking kisses. They stood like that for a long time.

When they finally broke apart, James said, "Come on. We're going to Dumbledore."

Lily nodded. He gave her one last hug, and then they headed inside.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Sonya- I really like sum of ur ideas, look out 4 them in Chapter 3! R/R if u want the next chapter up fast! Next chapter: Harry tells the Marauders the rest of his fascinating history (thanks Sonya!), and... I really don't know what else, I'm doing this as I go along!!! I have a few scenes planned but everything else is just a blur... ill get the next chapter up ASAP!!! Your (Still) Crazy Author,

*~*::Lily Granger::*~*

HONK IF YOU LOVE WEREWOLVES!

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