Love or Something Like it?

Chapter One: Something's Never Change

A tall, lengthy girl with long blonde hair walked into the busy Great Hall. It was filled with students eating their breakfast, talking to their friends, and excitedly making plans for the coming weekend.

"Lily, are you alright?" asked the blonde as she took her seat.

"That's the second family this week," Lily said quietly to herself as she put the Daily Prophet away. "Yeah, I'm fine Sarah," she replied as she forced a smile.

The Daily Prophet was reporting about yet another family that had been attacked. It was as if the Death Eaters had taken it upon themselves to scare all of the muggle-borns out of the Wizarding world by hurting and/or killing their families. One by one Muggle-borns who were promoted to positions in which, some may find them unworthy, were being attacked where they were most vulnerable, their magically defenseless families. Their families would then be tortured and when they attempted to protect them, they themselves would then be tortured and killed. This proved to be a very productive way of doing things as it caused employers to think twice about whom they were promoting, and Muggle-borns to want to stay in the positions they were safer in, fearing for their families.

Lily Evans was such a Muggle-born. She had just completed her fifth year and already had been accepted into St. Mungo's summer internship program. This meant that the worst that she feared had come true. The time to choose between the Muggle World, from which she came, and the Wizarding World, to which she belonged, now seemed to be upon her.

Her father, Daniel would be arriving the following morning for a meeting with herself and Dumbledore in order to discuss what must be done. The thought of being the cause of any harm to her parents and to her sister, made her wish that she had never even received her Hogwarts letter in the first place. She had discussed the matter with her father over the Christmas holiday in which she was adamant to say, that if she lived at home past her fifth year then she would no longer attend Hogwarts.

"So, what do you want to do this weekend?" Sarah asked her, filling her plate.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, pulling herself from her thoughts.

"Hogsmeade?" Sarah asked her as if it had been obvious as to what she had been talking about. "One final celebration before we go home for the summer. At least you won't have to worry about James asking you to go with him this time. I don't think he'd dare ask after what happened yesterday."

Lily shuddered at the memory of the previous day and how James Potter had treated her childhood friend, Severus Snape, the unforgivable name that was thoughtlessly thrown at her, and the severing of her oldest friendship.

"Lily, my love! You are as lovely as ever on this beautiful O.W.L. free morning," James greeted, looking at her hopefully. "You're not still angry with me are you?"

She sat staring at the food that she had been trying to muster up an appetite to eat. Finally realizing that it was just not going to happen this morning she stood and sighed, "No, James I'm not. I've given up the fantasy that you could ever be anything but hateful and mean to anyone who isn't one of your close friends. This way I won't be disappointed in you every time I turn around and see you torturing someone who doesn't deserve it." She turned around and walked toward the Entrance Hall leaving James and her friends taken aback by what had just happened.

The truth was that the entire situation had surpassed anything to do with James Potter and was now just a part of her life that she had to say goodbye to. Lately, everything seemed to be falling apart. The day slowly ended leaving Lily in the common room sitting on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room, staring into the fire, trying to make sense of her life, and wondering how it had all come to this.

"If it's not too late," Lily jumped and looked up at the voice. She hadn't known that anyone else was awake. "I'd like to apologize."

"It's never too late for an apology," she told James, who had apparently been sitting in the chair next to her for quite some time.

"He's a creep! I don't know why you're friends with him."

"Is this your idea of an apology?" she asked him, eyebrow raised.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you, but I'm not sorry for what I did," he said matter-of-factly. "He deserved what he got, especially after what he called you!"

"He didn't call me anything until you had already started picking on him!" she said, more harshly than she had intended. "Besides you don't have to worry about my friendship with Severus anymore."

She was now fighting back tears and using every bit of strength she had left, not to look at James. He stood up, slowly walked over to the sofa, and sat down beside her.

"Lily, are you alright?" he asked earnestly.

"I don't know, James," she told him honestly. "Ask me after summer holidays are over."

She stood up and walked away; leaving James to wonder what was wrong with her and headed to bed.

The morning came, following a restless night's sleep. Lily got dressed early and headed to Professor Dumbledore's office. When she walked into the brightly lit room she was greeted by her father's warm embrace.

"I've missed you, Precious," he told her, kissing her cheek.

"I've missed you too, Dad."

Deeply breathing in the smells of her home, she didn't want to ever forget anything about her father especially the smell of his cologne mixed with the smell of the sweets that he always carried in the breast pocket of his jacket, reserved for those times in which he needed a pick-me-up from a bad day. A lemon drop always seemed to do the trick. When they sat down Professor Dumbledore was the first to speak.

"We are brought here in light of recent events. Events that, I am quite certain, we all wish we could live without." He looked from Lily to her father. "As you are the one who called this meeting, Miss Evans, I will give you a chance to share your feelings on the matter first."

The discussion continued for a greater part of the morning. They weighed what few options they had and very regretfully landed on conclusion that Lily should stay at their family's vacation home alone, without any contact with her family until the attacks on Muggle-borns and their families died down.

Putting on a brave face, Lily prayed that she wouldn't fall apart for her father's sake. This was without a doubt the hardest decision either one of them had ever made.

"Everything will be alright, my darling girl, you'll see. You'll be home in no time at all!" he told her tearfully, trying to convince himself as well as his daughter.

She didn't know what to say. Goodbye? I'll see you later? No matter what she thought of she knew she wouldn't be able to say anything without breaking down, and she couldn't break down. This was hard enough for the both of them without her falling apart. She just nodded and watched him walk out of the office with Dumbledore.

For her entire life her father had been the strongest man alive. There was nothing that he couldn't protect her from, but as the years went by the dangers became more serious. And now there was nothing they could do. This monster wasn't going to go away with a hug and a glass of water. He may never be able to protect her again. She may never even see him again. This could be their last goodbye if not forever then for at least a very long time. At that thought she ran down the stairs as fast as she could. The entire time hoping beyond all hope that she hadn't missed him. It didn't matter if she fell apart, she may never get a chance to hug her father again.

"DADDY!" she yelled when she reached the entrance hall out of breath and saw her father walking out of the castle.

He turned around and when he saw her running towards him, he opened his arms wide and she flung herself into his them.

"This is just a nightmare!" Lily cried with her head nuzzled in her father's chest. "Daddy," she gasped, pulling away to look up at him. "Daddy, please, can't you just make it go away like all the others?" she begged, looking into her father's eyes, knowing the answer.

She couldn't put on a brave mask now. She hated everything that was happening to her. She just wanted to curl up her father's arms and cry it out until everything was better.

"My dearest Lily, I would give anything for the return of the days when I could simply scare the monster under your bed away just by saying the magic words," he told her sadly. "But when it comes to real magic, I fear that this is all I can do to protect you."

"This is all my fault!" She turned away with regret. "If I had never come here - if I'd just gone to school with Petunia, none of this would've happened."

"This school is the best thing that has ever happened to you! Do you remember what you said when you were accepted into Hogwarts?" With a finger under her chin, he forced her to look up at him. "I remember when Professor McGonagall gave you your letter and told you that you truly were a witch, it about broke my heart, but you looked up at her with tears streaming down your face and said, 'Does that mean that there really is a place where I belong?"

"I belong with you, Mum and Petunia!" Lily said in a sad low voice.

"You belong here, in the Wizarding world," he argued. "I love you more than life itself and the last thing that I want is for you to deny who you truly are; a beautiful, talented, young witch, who has the whole world in front of her. So promise me you won't."

"I promise," Lily obliged in a barely audible whisper.

"When this is all over then you can have the best that both worlds have to offer, but for now, for your own safety and that of your sister's, you need to stay here." Mr. Evans pulled his daughter in for one last hug.

"Just don't forget to remember me, okay?" Lily cried into his shoulder.

"I could never forget you, my precious - precious little girl." He squeezed her tighter. "Do the Evans name proud."

"I will, I love you, Dad."

"I love you too." He kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. "For now my little one, Goodbye."

Lily watched as her father walked out of the castle and joined Dumbledore in the carriage that would take him to Hogsmeade station and out of her life for what may be forever.

"Goodbye, Dad," she cried wrapping her arms around herself, feeling more vulnerable than she had ever felt in her life.

She had always run to her father whenever she was upset, but now, standing on the castle steps, she felt more alone than she had ever felt in her life and she didn't know who to turn to. She didn't want to move. So she just stood there, watching the carriage being pulled further and further from her. She was so lost in her own world that she didn't even hear the footsteps behind her.

"Hey Evans, want to join us? We're heading back out. I walked out without so much as a Sickle this morning." James' voice broke her from her thoughts. He, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black were on their way out of the castle.

"We've got Peter saving us seats at The Three Broomsticks," Remus informed her.

"Evans - Lily, what wrong?" James asked when they reached where she was standing. "Lily?" he gently prodded.

"Come with me, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said walking up beside her and steered her away from the three boys. "Everything will work out just fine, you'll see."

"How can I believe that everything will be alright when everything around me is constantly changing?" she asked, walking back into the castle.

'Why couldn't she believe that everything would be alright? What was changing?' James thought to himself.

He had never seen that look in her eyes before, the look of hopelessness and heartache, and he wanted to make it go away more than anything.

"Evans!" he called out. Lily turned around, her faced still stained with tears.

"Yes, James?" she asked, with what seemed to be the last bit of strength she had left.

"Will you go out with me?" he asked with a grin, hoping that his plan wouldn't backfire and cause him to be blasted into the nearest wall. "I mean, it didn't seem like you had made up your mind the other day."

Lily looked up at him in disbelief for a moment and then smiled when she realized what he was doing. Looking astounded, Professor McGonagall readied herself to hand out a detention for James' lack of compassion.

"Mr. Potter, this is hardly the time for - "

Lily interrupted her by taking a few steps toward James.

"If it were between going out with you for five minutes and being alone in Azkaban for the rest of my life, I would choose the Dementors in a heartbeat," she told him, feeling a bit more light hearted.

"Oh, alright, just wanted to make sure," he said, smiling back at her. "You know, that nothing had changed or anything."

She took a deep breath and wiped the tears off of her face, making room for more.

"Thank you."

Lily and James' eyes met and even though he didn't know what had made her so upset, he knew that he had lifted her spirits even if it had only been just a little bit. For the first time since she met him, she was grateful that she knew James Potter. And even though her whole life was being turned upside down, she knew that he would never falter. For better or for worse James was in her life forever, and that would never change!

Author's Notes: Hey everyone, I would greatly appreciate Reviews!! I hope you liked it! If you have any questions just ask. I don't have a grammar beta for this yet, so if you're interested let me know I do need one! And if you want me to Review one of your fics just add the link and I'll check it out.