The Real World: Hogwarts!

Ron and Ginny approach the house (sopping wet from torrential rain outside Hogsmeade Village) as the first pair to arrive. Ron having just won 50,000 Galleons in a Fear Factor competition, he's very ecstatic about the living quarters.

Ron: Wow! I'm so buying this place when we leave.

Ginny: Honestly Ron, just because...

Ron: Oh shut it, will you? You sound like Hermione.

Ginny (scowling): Hmph! Can we just go inside?

Ron: After you.

Ginny (whispering, upon entering the house): Oh my gosh.

Ron: This is even better than I expected!

Ginny: It's beautiful!

Ron: What's this confessional over here for?

Ginny: We're being taped, remember? That's where we get to speak to the audience.

Ron (still sounding confused): Right.

Ginny: You're so thick sometimes. Come on, let's go look at the bedrooms and see which ones we want.

Ron and Ginny choose bedrooms and begin unpacking. Harry, Luna, Hermione and Draco then arrive (Harry and Luna as a pair, Draco and Hermione as a pair).

Draco (sneering as greetings and hugs go around): Great. Just what I need. I'm stuck in a house full of Mudbloods for the next half a year.

Hermione: Will you shut up, Draco? My God, all you did was complain as soon as we met up.

Draco: Don't talk to me! If I'm going to be trapped here with you Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers, the least you could do is pretend I don't exist.

Ron (ignoring Draco): What the bloody hell is this contraption?

Harry: It's called a computer Ron. I'll show you how to use it. It's quite simple, really...

Hermione: Honestly Ron...

Ron: Stop it! Just stop it! If I hear those two words one more time, I'm liable to crack!

Ginny and Hermione (together, smirking): Honestly Ron...

Ron (cracking): AAARRGGGHHH!!!!!

Harry: Give him a break you two!

Hermione: Harry, you're supposed to be on our side!

Harry: I'm not picking sides.

Draco: This is going to be a long seven months.

Ginny (smirking): I thought you wanted us to pretend like you didn't exist? That'd be a lot easier if you'd stop talking.

Hermione: I'm going to unpack.

Harry: I'll join you.

Ginny: Where's Neville?

Hermione: No idea.

Neville then opens the door with a medium-sized trunk. He's drenched from the downpour as well.

Hermione: Umm...Hi, Neville!

Neville (joining the girls on the stairway): Hey guys.

Draco: You know Weasley, this has got to be the finest living you've ever experienced, hasn't it?

Ron (whipping out his wand): Not this time, Malfoy. You won't insult my family and me and get away with it.

Draco: Now, now Weasel, there's no need for that is there? We're going to be spending the next half a year together, I think we should try to get along.

Ron (hesitating, wand still out): Eat dung, Malfoy!

Draco: I'm being serious all right? This constant bickering isn't going to help us get smoothly through the next seven months...regardless of how much we despise each other.

Ron (still with his wand out): Go barf up a tree! Eat shit! Go jump in the damn lake! I hope You-Know-Who kills you and your nutter father!

Draco (turning to go up the stairs): For God sakes Weasley calm down!

Harry: Ron, did it ever occur to you that he might be turning over a new leaf?

Ron (finally putting his wand away): No.

Harry: Look...let's go explore the kitchen shall we?

Ron: Yeah, all right.

The kitchen had a few things, enough for seven people for two days, but it looked as though they'd have to go grocery shopping. Ron frowned at the lack of food but fixed himself a sandwich. He glanced at a few of the bottles lined up in the fridge and caught a glimpse of four different kinds of bottles.

Ron: What the heck is this?

Harry (reading one of the labels): "Vodka." Hmm, looks like Muggle alcohol to me, mate.

Ron: Weird! We'll have to try it.

Harry: Well of course Ron, that's probably why it's here. For us to get really drunk and go wild and crazy.

Ron: Now what's this?

Harry: That's a pizza.

Ron: Wicked!

Harry (chuckling): You're so easily amused.

Ron: So? This thing is interesting. Let's make it! Looks like it has to bake in this oven here...

Harry (smirking): I'll help you. We wouldn't want to burn this lovely house to the ground now would we?

Ron: Ha ha, very funny.

Hermione (coming back downstairs): What's that smell?

Harry: Pizza.

Hermione: Really? Sounds excellent.

They finish making the pizza and have a good and relatively silent dinner. After dinner, Hermione takes upon herself to show Ron how to use the computer they've been provided. At 10:00, they decide to go out to the nearest Muggle club, seeing as they were instructed to bring Muggle club attire. They all change and go back downstairs.

Ron (pulling the Muggle alcohol out of the fridge): Are we supposed to drink this stuff?

Hermione: Of course Ron! Come on it's not that bad, my mum and dad let me have sips of their wine.

Ron: Whatever.

Hermione: Oh give it here, Ron.

Hermione takes the Vodka and pulls a jug of orange juice from the refrigerator. She pours both into a cup, grabs a straw, and begins to drink. Eventually, all follow suit, and all get good and wasted.

Ron: Bloody hell! Harry, I'm all dizzy! That's weird isn't it, haha...

Harry: He sounds just like he did in the Department of Mysteries! Maybe they put an alcohol intoxicating spell on him, haha...

Hermione: Come on, we're supposed to be clubbing tonight aren't we?

Ginny (yes, she's drunk too): Clubbing? Who's ever heard of the phrase 'clubbing'? And how're we getting there?

Neville: Dunno...Portkey?

Draco: This is insane. I can't believe I'm here with you drunken Mudbloods.

Hermione: Oh shut up you sexy Slytherin sex god, you're drunk too!

Draco (smiling): Did I just hear what I thought I heard?

Hermione (smiling back): Maybe you did, and maybe you didn't.

Draco: You think I'm sexy, don't you Granger? Of course, I wouldn't be surprised...

Hermione: Gosh Draco, you're ego is so huge!

Draco: Tell the truth, Hermione.

Hermione: Okay fine! Maybe I do find you a little attractive.

Draco: That's all I needed to hear.

Draco grabs Hermione into a close embrace and they begin to make out, starting what turns out to be an all-night make-out session. They go to the Muggle called

Next time, on The Real World: Hogwarts...

Ron: What the bloody hell are you doing, Hermione??

Hermione: Would you like to make out with me now, Ron?

Ron: Well, I would, I guess...

Hermione: Too bad! I'm making out with Draco again! Muhahaha...

Harry: Is it that serious, Hermione?

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