The Prank Wars

The Prank Wars

Part 4

More Mischief and Mayhem(1 of 2)

By: Lavander (and Violet)

***

Sirius and James walked to the Trophy Room, heads hung low. They would much rather go to class then do something like this. Cleaning trophies had never been one of their favourite jobs.

Sirius: I can't believe we got sucked into this....

James: I can't either.

Sirius: When I find out who snitched on us, they will be so dead!

James: Yes, yes, I've heard it all already.

Sirius: Oh, shut it you.

James: No, I don't think I will.

Sirius: Grrrr...

They turned a corner and heard someone talking with Dumbledore in one of the nearby classrooms.

Dumbledore: I'm so glad you can fill in for Severus.

Voice: I'm glad to be of help, but my Potion skills aren't very...good.

That voice, it sounded so familiar to the to boys, but to old to be who they thought it was. 'Nah,' they both thought simultaneously, and got back on the trail to the trophy room.

***Meanwhile, in the classroom***

Dumbledore: Yes, yes, I know Remus, but as you just so happened to be in the area, and Severus just happened to have a major breakdown, I am so glad you were here.

Remus: Woah sounds like you have quite the pair of troublemakers on your hands.

Dumbledore: Oh, yes, you might think that. And you may be the only one who can calm these two new students down.

Remus: Well, all right. What year are they in?

Dumbledore: Thank you so much Remus.

Remus: Don't mention it. You wouldn't mind if, erm... *looks around unsure if he should say what he was going to say, then decided to anyway* Sirius were to stay here, would you?

Dumbledore: Not at all, he might just help calm these two down.

Remus: *muttering* More like getting them round up more.

Dumbledore: No, I don't think that would be possible.

Remus: *dumbstruck by the fact that Dumbledore heard his muttering* And why not?

Dumbledore: He doesn't seem like he could ever pull a prank without his counterpart.

Remus: Whatever you say, Professor, whatever you say.

***Back to Sirius and James***

James: I never remember it taking this long to get to the trophy room.

Sirius: Me neither.

James: Hey, wait a minute, we're not even going anywhere remotely close to it.

Sirius: *innocently* Oh, I never noticed...

James: Sirius, what are you up to.

Sirius: Nothing.

James: Let's go to the trophy room now.

Sirius: Oh fine, spoilsport.

They turned around and headed for the trophy room. Five minutes later, they entered it. And were surprised at what they saw. Their mouths dropped to the floor at the site of ten million trophies all covered in something that suspiciously looked like troll boogies.

Sirius: Oh my god, she has to be out of her mind if she thinks we're cleaning this up!

James: Ew, this is just, well, nasty!

Sirius: No, James that's an understatement!

James: Do you have to talk in Italics.

Sirius: Don't blame me, blame the author!

James: Yeah, I'll get right on that, and get totally erased out of the story.

Sirius: Yeah, whatever.

James: Well, I guess we have to start cleaning up this big mess.

Sirius: *whining* That's not fair!

James: Oh, stop being a sissy and grab a rag. And GET CLEANING!

Sirius: Okay, okay, you have no reason to yell!

James: Yeah, whatever.

Sirius and James picked up some rags they found in the back of the room and went to clean the first trophy. Sirius put his rag on it and started to scrub it, gagging all the while. James went to another one on the other side of the room and also gagged as he cleaned his trophy.

Sirius: Oh my gosh, this is the most disgusting thing in the world.

James: Tell me about it.

Sirius: Whenever I find out who did this, they'll be getting the beating of a lifetime.

James: I wouldn't advise this.

Sirius: And why not.

James: Because you would probably have your butt in a sling if you did.

Sirius: Nah, I can run pretty fast. McGonnagall can't catch me!

James: Yeah that's what you said in fifth year, and she practically caught you in the first 2 seconds.

Sirius: Yes, but this is a totally different time period. She's older, remember.

James: I still wouldn't try to outrun her. She could still probably catch you.

Sirius: Oh, you always look at the bright side, don't ya Prongs.

James: I try to.

Sirius: Spoilsport.

James: Oh, just finished cleaning your trophies so we can go for a walk around the school.

Sirius: Why, you can't be finished that fast.

He turned around to stair at James' half of the room, which was sparkling it was so clean. Sirius' jaw dropped to the ground.

Sirius: How the...

James: You know exactly how.

Sirius: You cheater... you sly cheater...

James: Yeah, yeah, hurry up already.

Sirius: Fine.

Sirius waved his wand and all his trophies were also sparkling clean. HE looked around, admiring his work. James gave him an odd look.

Sirius: You know, cleaning magically always gives you more satisfaction in your work.

James: Yeah, right. I always knew you were a little screwed in the head.

Sirius: I resent that!

James: Well, you are.

Sirius: Whatever, James, whatever.

James: Yes... well, lets go sneak into Hogsmeade before lunch and get back before McGonnagall comes and checks on us.

Sirius: Do you think that's smart?

James: Why are you saying that. Usually this would be your suggestion.

Sirius: Well, I'm just thinking... the younger versions of a convicted murderer and a dead guy walking though Hogsmeade doesn't sound so smart.

James: Ah, don't worry about it.

Sirius: Whatever you say James...

The two boys left the room and headed towards the humped back witch. Mean, the shadowy figure stood off in the background.

Figure: Aw, damn, how am I supposed to get them in more trouble now. Aw, crap! I'm late for class!

The shadowy figure ran off in the direction of its classroom, the shadow staying on it at all times.

***

Fred and George were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, making their potion for all the drinks. Thank god, most of the Slytherins had designated eating areas. They made a special potion that would make their hair turn colours for the pumpkin juice. Then they also made a special clear potion that would coat the rim of the cups without them noticing so, when they first took a sip, their hair would turn the colours they had chose for each person. They did the same for the teachers, picking more bright colours for them.

Fred: *cackling* Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe! Were gonna get them good.

George: *also cackling* Hehehehehehehehehehehe! I know!

Fred: You know, were cackling again.

George: We have a bad habit of doing this.

Fred: Why?

George: I dunno.

Fred: Okay. So, back to the potions. Is the one for Malfoy ready yet?

George: As ready as it'll eve be.

Fred: Good pour it into this vile. *Passes George a vial* We have to save it for later.

George: Okay. Now, can you pass me the label.

Fred: Here you are. Ohhh... the pumpkin juice potion is ready.

George: That's good. Here, pour it into this vial. *passes Fred a vial beside him*

Fred: Okay. *pours it into the vial, and hands it back to George, along with a label*

George: *labels both the pumpkin juice and the Malfoy hair potion* Okay, that's done.

Fred: Oh my gosh look at the time. *is staring at his watch* We're gonna be late for Transfiguration.

George: Okay, lets go.

Fred: Put the rest of the stuff under our bed, will finish it at lunch.

George: Okay. *stuffs it under the bed* Lets go.

They both leave the common room, in a hurry to get to Transfiguration. The two vials lay forgotten on the floor, and the shadowy figure comes in the room

Figure: Hehehe, I'll just change the labels on these two viols, and screw their prank up completely. Hehehe.

***

Meanwhile in Divination

Harry: I hate this class.

Ron: *snoring* ZZZZZ... ZZZZZZ...

Harry: I really hate this class.

P. Trelawny: I sense that there will be a great trouble at dinner tonight. Someone will mess up the fate of someone elses near future.

Harry: Oh, will it be mine, per chance?

P. Trelawny: No, my dear, it seems to be those close to you.

Harry: Oh that's comforting...

***

Meanwhile James and Sirius have just come out of the cellar in Honeydukes, and snuck into the shop.

Sirius: I can't believe I'm saying this, but were gonna get in soooo much trouble.

James: And since when, pray tell, have you cared about getting in trouble.

Sirius: Since I found out that my future self is a wanted convicted murderer.

James: I see.

Sirius: Now that you see my point of view, can we please go back?

James: Nope. No wait, lemme think about that... hmm... nope.

Sirius: Oh James, were sooo dead.

James: No, were not. Let's go see madam Rosmerta.

Sirius: You're out of your mind James....

James: Where do you think I get it from?

Sirius: I taught you to well.

James: Obviously.

Sirius: Fine, lets go.

The two boys left Honeydukes and made there way across the small village to Three Broomsticks. James taking animatedly, and Sirius trying to hide behind him. People were giving them funny looks for (a.) being Hogwarts students out of the grounds on a school day and (b.) for looking like Harry Potter and a younger version of Sirius Black, the "deadly" escaped convict. They walked into Three Broomsticks and received more weird looks that they did from outside, considering most of the people in the pub were the regulars who had been around in the boys day and knew what they looked like.

Sirius: *upset that everyone is staring at him* Take a picture, it'll last longer!

James: Now, now, Sirius that's no way to treat the ever so friendly people staring at us.

Sirius: James, do me a favour and shut your trap. I told you this was a bad idea.

James: Come on, I'll order you a mug of butterbeer.

Sirius: Fine.

The two boys walked up to the bar, all eyes still on them. Sirius started feeling uneasier. He feared that someone would call a ministry guard and lock him up for the crime he "committed" in his future before he could even "do" them. James just dragged him along until he reached the bar and made him sit on a stool. Rosmerta never looked up to see who walked in the door, so she never realized who the boys were until they spoke.

Rosmerta: What'll be boys?

James: Two butterbeer please, Madam Rosmerta.

Rosmerta: Wha- wha- what?

James: I said two butterbeer please?

Rosmerta: *looking up* Oh... my... gosh. James Potter? Sirius Black?

Sirius: Can you please not say my name that loud?

James: He's a little over tense today.

Rosmerta: But I thought that.... You were...

James: Well, technically I am, but this is not my future self, this is the one who messed up on a potion in 7^th year Potions class and got transported back to the past, with my Potions partner, Sirius.

Sirius: It's entirely his fault!

Rosmerta: My god boys, you don't know how good it is to see the two of you again, so young and full of happiness.

James: Well, we heard that the world is in need of a good cheering up.

Sirius: *relaxing a little* So we took it upon ourselves to cheer it.

Rosmerta: That's wonderful! Here, some butterbeer on the house!

Sirius: Thanks!

Rosmerta: Anything for my two favourite customers.

James: Aww, don't embarrass us.

Sirius: Please.

Rosmerta: *laughing* You don't know how good it is to see you again.

Sirius: Too good, right?

James: Well, obviously, Sirius, you dope.

A woman with blonde curly hair, big glasses with magenta rims came up to the duo talking with Madam Rosmerta. She was wearing stylish magenta robes, to match the rims of her glasses and carrying a big ugly neon pink handbag. She had long fingernails, painted the colour of her handbag and was carrying a quick-quotes quill and a parchment notebook.

Rosmerta: Uh oh, boys don't look behind you, because the noisiest reporter is making her way over here right now.

Sirius: Oh god, please don't tell me it's that Rita Skeeter lady.

Rosmerta: Yes, it is.

Sirius and James groaned at the same time.

James: Help me, please?

Sirius: Help you? I'm the future convicted murderer here!

Rita: Excuse me, boys, but I couldn't help but notice the similarities to people who I know here in this world today.

James: Pardon?

Rita: Well, to be blunt, you two look an awful lot like Sirius Black and Harry Potter.

Sirius: *sarcastically* Well, aren't you observant.

Rita: Don't be sarcastic with me, little boy, you don't know who I am.

Sirius: Well, yes, actually I do. You're the snobbish reporter Rita Skeeter who makes everyone look ten times as bad as they really are.

James: Now, now, Sirius. No need to be rude.

Sirius: This is the perfect time to be rude, actually, James.

James: No, its not.

Rita: So it really is the famous duo of Sirius Black and James Potter.

James: Would you like something?

Sirius: Yes, would you? Because if not, could you please get you ugly face out of our business.

Rita: Tsk, tsk, is that any way to speak to someone who is older than you?

Sirius: Well, I don't know, is it?

Rita: Someone needs to teach you manners. No wonder you betrayed you betrayed your best friend later in life. No one taught you any manners.

Sirius: I have more manners than you think, and no matter what anyone says, I would never ever betray my best friend fro Lord Voldemort.

Rita: Don't say his name. No one, even his followers say that name.

James: Go away, you ugly hag.

Rita: Excuse me?

Sirius: James!

James: You heard me.

Rita: Well, you two are quite rude. I was just going to ask for a simple interview, but I don't interview rude little boys.

Rita turned and left, smiling to herself. Little did Sirius and James know she had used her Quick- quotes quill to get down everything in her conversation with them. She walked out the door of the pub and up the street.

James: *under his breath* Good riddance.

Sirius: Oh, how I hate her.

Rosmerta: Oh dear boys, your gonna get yourselves into a lot of trouble now.

James: Oh, we can deal with her.

Sirius: But what if she sends the Ministry after us? I told you this was not a good idea.

James: Oh well.

Rosmerta: Are you boys suppose to be back up at the school for lunch?

Sirius: Oh shoot, yes we are!

Rosmerta: Well, it'll be lunch in about an hour. You should get going.

James: Well, we shall be on our way. Thank you for the butterbeer.

Sirius: And we'll meet again someday, I'm positive. Maybe when my older self is freed from whatever charges that lay upon him. For some reason I don't believe I'm capable of such things.

Rosmerta: I don't either Sirius. James, take care of yourself, Lily and Harry, when he is born.

James: Oh, I will.

Rosmerta: Before you leave, can I take your picture.

Sirius: Sure!

Madam Rosmerta grabbed a camera from behind the bar and put it up to her eye.

Rosmerta: Now pose boys.

The two boys put one arm around the others shoulder a smiled. Sirius stuck his hand up on top of James' head and made bunny ears without James noticing.

Rosmerta: Say cheese.

James and Sirius: Cheese!

*Click*

Rosmerta: Thank you boys. Now I'll have something to remember you by.

James: Anytime. But we must be off now. See you.

Sirius: Yeah, bye.

Rosmerta: Take care boys.

The tow left Three broomsticks and made their way back up to Honeydukes. On the way, they got more unusual looks, but didn't seem to notice them. They walked into the store and grabbed some candy to buy before they left. Sirius walked up to the man behind the counter and put all the candy him and James picked out on it. The man looked at the amount of candy he had placed on it, and at Sirius oddly.

Man: That all?

Sirius: Yes, I think it is.

Man: Shouldn't you be in school?

James: No, we don't go to school in this time. We're actually supposed to be in school in the 70's.

Man: Is that right?

Sirius: Yes, it's about accurate. We're actually in our 7^th year at Hogwarts in 1977 and we messed up big on a Potion and go transported here. Where we met some of the coolest pranksters around and his *points at James* future son.

Man: *giving the boys a weird look* Really?

James: Yes, that's about accurate, right Sirius.

Sirius: Yes. That's why I said all that. I wouldn't say something if I didn't have a reason.

James: Oh, whatever. Just hurry up and buy the candy so we can get back up to the freaking school.

Sirius: Fine, Mr. I decided we should sneak down to the town to try and get us in trouble.

James: Oh, shut up Mr. I'm to good for my own good.

Sirius: Don't piss me off James, or I will be the one who kills you and not Wormtail.

Man: *thoroughly confused* What?!

James: Sirius, you have such a big mouth.

Sirius: I resent that!

Man: Wait a minute. Lemme get this straight. You're James Potter *points at James*.

James: Yes...

Man: And you're Sirius Black *points at Sirius*.

Sirius: Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Man: But...

James: We're the younger versions of them, like we told you before.

Man: Oh, okay, that makes sense.

James: And now we must be going. Thank you.

Sirius: Here. *Pays the man two galleons for the candy.*

Man: *dazed* Th- thanks.

Sirius: Can we go now?

James: Yes, lets or well be late for lunch.

***Meanwhile back up at the school***

McGonnagall: Well boys, I want that essay after school today that you said you finished a work early.

Fred: Oh, yeah. Here. *Takes his essay out of his bag*

George: And here. *Also takes his essay out of his bag*

McGonnagall: Well, I'm surprised. I thought this was only an excuse for being late for class.

Fred: Well, it wasn't.

McGonnagall: Well, for being honest, and handing your essays in early which you have never done before in all of your school years, Gryffindor will be awarded 10 points from both of you.

George: Well, thank you Professor.

McGonnagall: Yes, yes. Now go down to lunch.

Fred: Of course. See you!

The two boys left snickering. Little did she know was that the essays were exact duplicates of Charlie and Bill's essays that they had done only a few years back.

***The Trophy Room***

James and Sirius ran into the trophy room at top speed, when they heard the bell ring throughout the school. They were almost caught by Filch and a wandering Mrs. Norris. They picked up their rags and walked over to their designated sections and started polishing the trophies, like they weren't clean enough. Professor McGonnagall walked in a few moments later, surprised to see them still cleaning the trophies, like they had been at it all morning. They had quite a few dirty spots on their robes from where they had hit spots in the tunnel back from Hogsmeade, but she didn't need to know about that. James looked up at her, and smiled fake tiredly.

James: Hello Professor, I hope the trophies are clean enough.

Sirius: Yes, we've spent all morning polishing and re-polishing.

McGonnagall: *even more surprised* Oh my boys, you have proved me wrong and what I used to think of you. I always thought you were a little more responsible than you acted.

James: Well, of course Professor, how else could I have become head boy?

McGonnagall: Hmmm... good question. I think Dumbledore was smoking it up at the time of that decision.

Sirius: Professor McGonnagall, how could you say that about that wonderful man.

McGonnagall: Oh my, did I say that out loud. I only meant to think it.

James: Surrreee....

McGonnagall: Oh, please don't tell him boys.

Sirius: Oh, we won't.

McGonnagall: Oh, thank you.

Sirius: But there's a price.

McGonnagall: Are you blackmailing me?

James: Are we blackmailing her?

Sirius: What the hell. WE want to know who keeps on finding out what we're doing and ratting us out.

McGonnagall: That's classified information that only this person and I arre qualified to know.

Sirius: Okay.. Professor Dumbledore, here I come.

McGonnagall: Oh, fine, I tell you.

James: Oh my god, I can't believe were doing this.

Sirius: So, who is it?

McGonnagall: It was...

**** (Muwahahaha, you actually thought I was gonna tell you) Elsewhere in the Great Hall *****

Harry, Ron and Hermione were just sitting down at the table, while discussing their morning classes.

Harry: I tell you, if that old hag predicts my death one more time, my actions are not my fault.

Ron: You have to admit, her predictions are pretty funny.

Harry: Yeah, right *in a mystical voice* 'You are gonna die a horrible death from an encounter with a dangerous dark creature.' *sarcastically* That's really funny.

Hermione: Did she say it was gonna be a friend?

Harry: Thank god no. Then I would have got up and hexed her.

While they go on discussing Harry's poor 'death' prediction, the twins walk into the Great Hall and sit across from them.

George: Ha! We have the perfect prank for the feast tonight. But you guys know nothing, okay?

Ron: Yeah, sure, whatever.

Harry: What are we having a feast for anyway?

Fred: Why, the welcoming of our 'guests' of course.

Ron: Didn't we just have a feast last week for something else.

Harry: That was for... ummm.... I can't member.

Hermione: You won't believe who I saw this morning with Dumbledore.

Fred: Who, Professor Sanpe gone nuts?

Hermione: No, actually his replacement for a while. But I don't know why they picked him... he can't do potions.

Harry: *hopefully* Professor Lupin?

Hermione just smiled.

Ron: No way! This is great!

Hermione: Dumbledore told me not to tell anyone though, because it's supposed to be a surprise, for Lupin and James and Sirius.

Harry: Oh god, what, do they want to give him a heart attack or something?

George: God only knows.

About at this time, Sirius and James came in with the smuggest look in the world on their faces, and sat down beside Harry.

Sirius: Hey, Harry, may we speak with you?

Harry: Why?

James: Because we need your help with something.

Harry: Why am I suddenly very scarred.

Sirius: Oh, come on wussy.

Harry: Fine.

They walked out by the front doors of the castle.

Harry: Okay, what do you want.

James: WE need your help.

Sirius: Please join us?

Harry: *sarcastically* Yeah, I'll get right on that.

James: Hey, don't be a smart-ass to me mister. I'm your father.

Harry: and only two years older than me at the moment.

Sirius: Com'on, It'll be fun.

Harry: Yeah, getting detentions to wash bedpans in the hospital wing sounds like lots of fun.

James: This one we won't get caught.

Harry: *sighs* Fine, but I won't go and execute the plan with you

Sirius: Fine with us. We'll tell you our plan after the feast tonight.

Harry: Why am I regretting this.

James: Ah, don't worry about it son. We'll make a marauder out of you yet.

Harry: Oh no.

They went back into the great hall, and sat back down with the others.

Fred: I can't wait for the feast.

George: Yeah, lots of good food. We should go back up to the common room and get our stuff for our next class.

Ron: I have to go to the library anyway.

Hermione: I have to go speak with Professor Sinistra about last night's homework. I don't know the stars very well.

Ron: Hermione doesn't know much about one of our school subjects? The world must be coming to an end!!

Hermione: Oh, shut up Ron.

Harry: I'll go with you Hermione, I need help with it too.

Sirius: No, Harry, we need to talk with you for a little bit more. Don't leave!

Harry: Oh, fine.

Everyone got up and left, Sirius smirking as they did so. After a moment or tow Harry spoke.

Harry: What do you want.

Sirius: I just came up with the best idea ever.

***Common Room***

Fred: Man oh man, this is hard work.

George: Well, it's all ready to say the least, all bottled and ready to go.

Fred: Then lets go give it to the house elves. They'll love to help us!

George: Yes, let's.

After they cleaned everything up and left with the little bottles, the familiar dark shadow came out to see what was left.

Shadow: Yes, everything is perfect for tonight's feast. Muwahahaha! Muwahaha! MUWAHAHAHAHA... ahem...

*****

Next time on Prank Wars

-Will we hear Sirius' 'great' prank idea?

-Will everything go according to the twins plan?

-Will Sirius and Remus ever see Sirius and James again?

-Is Harry actually gonna be stupid enough to help James and Sirius?

-And who is that danged shadow?