If Love is a Game...

Chapter Thirty-Three

The Kiss of Death

It was February Sixteenth; the day Krystyna had been dreading since Christmas break. She hadn't even wanted to get out of bed. Sara said she looked sick--Krystyna sincerely hoped she was. Lily had pointed out that she wasn't eating breakfast--she couldn't hold anything down. Lorena's eyes were sad and comforting, but she knew that she could not help Krystyna now. This was it. This was the last day that she would get to spend with Sirius. She would have to end it all...tonight.

Krystyna dropped her fork, and it clattered on her plate. She didn't want to end it. She wanted to stay with Sirius and she wanted to stay friends with Lily, Sara, James, Remus, and Peter. But what else could she possibly do? They or one of their family members could die if she didn't split up from them. Her stomach churned horribly. Her shoulders drooped and her black hair was limp.

"Krystyna, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Sirius asked concernedly for what seemed like the hundredth time. She looked up into his face and saw genuine concern. She smiled and then faked a large yawn. She stretched her arms.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Krystyna lied calmly. "I just didn't get a good night's sleep."

It was a half truth. She hadn't got a lot of sleep last night. She had tossed and turned in her bed for hours and then dozed off, only to be awoken by a nightmare of what Sirius might possibly do after tonight. She curled up in a ball in her bed and had silently sobbed a little.

He gave a sigh and nodded his head. He appeared to have believed her. She was tearing herself apart on the inside for lying. Suddenly, there was a loud screeching noise. They looked up and saw around a hundred owls flying in through the window. Many people looked up to have things dropped in front of them. It was Owl Post time during breakfast. As usual, an owl dropped the Daily Prophet in front of Lily because she ordered it.

Lily paid the owl and it flew off. She picked the newspaper up and unraveled it. She merely glanced at the front page of the Daily Prophet and gasped. She dropped it on the table. Sara picked it back up.

"What's it say?" James asked crudely with his mouth full of food. Lily was so shocked that she didn't even reprimand James for his eating manners. Her eyes widened at the newspaper.

"Um...Krystyna, your brother's in the newspaper," Sara said in a shaky voice. Krystyna's eyes widened at this too. "It says here that 'the youngest governor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was appointed yesterday at 7:00 p.m. Samuel Melanie, 22, was given the job as governor'..."

James suddenly choked on his milk and spewed it out in front of him. Luckily, Lorena ducked and it went over her, spilling on the ground. She sat up straight. Sara spread the paper on the table in the middle of them all. One large, black and white picture of a smirking Samuel Melanie was in front of them. Krystyna sank back in her seat. If she didn't do it tonight, he'd know, and he could come to Hogwarts without it looking suspicious. Her hands began to shake and she pocketed them.

"He's one ugly git," Sirius muttered.

"Look at that smirk!" James pointed out, smudging his finger on the picture. The Samuel in the picture obviously didn't like that. "It looks like someone upstairs has a strange sense of humor."

Sirius snorted and Peter laughed. Lorena glowered at the picture and took of drink of her apple juice.

"C'mon, we have to go to Arithmancy, James," Lily sighed softly. She got up from her seat and threw her pack over her shoulder. She grabbed James's arm and pulled him up to his feet. He took one last drink of his milk and grabbed his backpack before Lily began to drag him away. "See you guys later!"

"Save me a muffin, Sirius!" James called loudly before Lily pulled him through the doors. They looked at each other and laughed. Peter picked up the newspaper and began to flip through the pages to read the comics. Sara peered inside of the newspaper, too.

Sirius began to try to imitate Samuel's smirk. Remus started to laugh, and Lorena smiled and shook her head. Krystyna chuckled, but she didn't feel in it. She didn't feel all there, really. She didn't dare look at the Slytherin table; she kept her head down.

~*~

It was much later that night. It was around 11:30 at night. The hallways were dark, only a few torches had been lit. Krystyna and Remus had separated around thirty minutes ago to cover more ground. Ever since the Masquerade, there had been more problems because some people didn't do the Sobering Charm on themselves or created spiked Butterbeer to keep drinking.

It was the perfect time to ruin a relationship, Krystyna mused unhappily as she walked in a direction. She kept her hands in her pocket and her head low as she walked. She had gone over the plan through and through; she had turned it inside out. It was flawless, much to her dismay, but it had to be that way or somebody could get in an "accident". She stopped when she rounded the corner and saw the person she had been looking for.

"Wow, you're early," Krystyna muttered grumpily as she slowly made her way over to him. He gave her an annoying smirk that she wanted to slap off.

"Why, I dare say, I could not miss the wonderful opportunity to ruin Black's infatuation for you and get you for myself," Lucius Malfoy said quite cheerily. She glared at him and leaned against the wall a few feet away from him. He could be the world's largest prat--all of the time. "How do you know this is going to work anyways? I would prefer it if we did this is the Great Hall at breakfast tomorrow morning."

"I would never do that and besides, I can't; the deadline is today so it has to be today," Krystyna told him sourly. "Sirius got detention from Professor Lector yesterday. He has to come this way to get back to the Gryffindor Tower."

"Ah, yes, that's right," Lucius sighed, cherishing the moment for all that it was worth. He looked at her with his steely grey eyes and she looked away from him. She closed her eyes and dropped her shoulders down. She would do anything to make this all go away. "I don't see what you see in him. He's nothing but an idiot."

"And you aren't?" Krystyna snorted. "I don't know what Narcissa Black sees in you. You don't care about anyone but yourself. I think you two belong together. After all, her name is Narcissa and you're one big narcissist."

She still didn't look at him. She didn't want to do this. It was tearing her apart. He was going to hate her for this. He was never going to forgive her. And as much as she wanted to stop and just walk away, she couldn't do that. She knew she couldn't and it was killing her slowly. It was for them, even if they didn't know it. She was doing this for their safety.

Suddenly, someone whistling interrupted her thoughts. She stood up straight and fought the tears back before they came. It was Sirius. She walked over to Lucius and glared at him, but he kept his smirk plastered on his face. She grabbed him by the tie and jerked it.

"Let's get this straight, okay?" Krystyna growled angrily. "I do not like you and I never will. I'm not doing this for you or for me. I'm doing this for them--Sirius, Lily, James, Sara, Remus, and Peter. I'm doing this so they will live. I hate you and I hate my family."

"What about Andrew?" Lucius chuckled. She tightened her grip on his tie and jerked him even closer so he would get the point. She glared at him through slits that possibly could've turned red.

"You will not speak to him about any of this because he'll find out on his own," Krystyna snarled madly. "I am not talking to Sirius ever again. I won't be able to. So, you just act like the smirking little jerk you usually are and nothing will go wrong. Do you hear me? Just get him to go away quickly."

"And if I want to drag this out long so he'll be in more pain than ever?" Lucius asked, his ugly smirk still stuck on his pale face. She jerked even harder on his tie.

"You won't do that," Krystyna growled forebodingly. She glanced at the corner where the whistling was coming from and getting louder. "Oh, and one more thing, I'm not going to like this."

She really didn't want to do this. She wanted it to just go away.

Just walk away from him. Just walk away from this. Just walk away from it all, a little voice in the back of Krystyna's mind was begging her.

She didn't listen to the voice. It was selfish, but she wasn't. If she just walked away, someone was going to get hurt. Sirius rounded the corner and she did what she had been dreading for a little more than a month. She hoped that tears were pouring out of her eyes right now. He pressed his lips against hers.

There was a loud crash and they pulled apart. Sirius had dropped his books in shock of what he had just witnessed. He could not believe his eyes. He must be dreaming, but he knew he was awake. Krystyna turned her away from him, her feet glued to the spot. She was not going to speak to him. On the inside, she was crying, but on the outside, she was emotionless. Lucius turned around to face the other boy and put his hands in his pockets.

"Black, so you've come to see the show," Lucius rang loudly, giving Sirius his patent Malfoy sneer. Sirius just blinked. It didn't happen. This wasn't happening. He was seeing things. She wasn't walking away from Lucius and over to him. She was standing still. She wasn't looking at him. He stayed rooted to the spot, a look of shock on his face. "I'm sorry, but we weren't planning on having an audience."

Sirius couldn't answer him. His mouth was suddenly dry and his throat was scratchy. He couldn't get it out of his mouth. He didn't think his mouth could work. His brain was telling him that he should be angry, but he couldn't move. Maybe his heart was telling him different, he couldn't tell. Right now, he was feeling as if it had been deflated.

"What, cat got your tongue, Black? Or did you not realize that she wanted more?" Lucius continued. He began to laugh. "Yeah, you weren't good enough. You couldn't give her everything she wanted so she came to me. I can give her all that she desires, you see, unlike you."

"No, this-this can't be happening," Sirius stammered in utter disbelief. He was too shocked to move a muscle. "I'm dreaming; this isn't real."

"Oh, it's very real, I assure you," Malfoy drawled.

"No, you're lying!" Sirius suddenly proclaimed. He leaped to grab Krystyna by the arm, but she pulled her arm away, tears leaking out of her eyes. He stopped; she had just rejected him. He was stunned. Malfoy wasn't lying. Krystyna's eyes burned with even more tears; Malfoy was lying, but Sirius didn't know a thing.

"Krystyna, no, please..."

Krystyna bit her lip and kept her back to him with her head hanging low. She didn't want to see his face; she didn't want to see the look. His voice was hard enough on her. This was already hard enough on him.

"Do you believe me now, Black?" Malfoy chuckled.

"How--how long?" Sirius found that his voice was very gruff and that it hurt to speak. He did not want to believe it. Krystyna felt like breaking down; his voice sounded so betrayed. And she did it. She hurt him and it was all her fault.

"Not too long, actually," Lucius sighed. Sirius felt his stomach do a somersault when he grabbed her hand and she didn't jerk it out of his grip. She felt like whimpering, but didn't. "If it had been my way, it would have been before Christmas, but she didn't know just yet. A few weeks, I'd say."

"A few weeks?" Sirius strained incredulously. No, this wasn't happening. Things like this just didn't happen to him. It happened to other people. Now, he found himself on the other side of the door. Now, he was one of those "other people". It had happened to him. All the things she said just two nights ago--every time he looked in her eyes--

"You lied. You lied to me!" Sirius yelled at Krystyna, slowly backing away from her as if she was contaminated with some disease. Well she was, wasn't she? She was contaminated by...Malfoy. She tried not to shudder. Sirius was pale and nearly shaking.

"There, there, Black, I'm sure you go running off to cry on Potty's shoulder or something," Lucius said nastily with his sneer. "I mean, you two are so inseparable it makes me sick. Then again, they're always Loopy you can go running off to..."

"I can't believe that all this time you were playing me! You're a little liar!" Sirius shouted at her. She didn't answer him. She didn't stir at all. She just stood completely still, not making a sound. But he wanted her to look at him--yell back at him--do something to make him realize that she was there, but she did nothing and it made him even angrier. "You know what; you deserve Malfoy because you're just like all of the rest! You're like Marlena and Samuel and your mum. You're just like them all! Why don't you just stay in the Slytherin dungeons where slime like you and Malfoy belong!"

Right at that moment, Krystyna felt like sinking to the floor and just dying. She just felt like fainting and not hearing anymore of this. No more; she didn't want to hear anymore. She wanted to hide in a dark corner by herself and just cry. She wanted to cry until she shriveled up and left the earth. He would never know that all these words he was screaming at her were tearing her apart even further. He was right. In the end, she was just like them all.

"I HATE YOU BOTH!" Sirius screamed hoarsely. He picked up a book and chucked it at Lucius and her blindly. It hit the wall and ripped some of the pages. He grabbed his other books and stalked away, shouting a few incoherent things. He disappeared, but he yells were still heard, ringing in her mind over and over again. She tore her grip out of his and fell against the wall. She slipped down to the floor and brought her knees up to her chest. She stared at the other wall across from her. He looked at her.

"You'll see; you'll like it much better with me than that idiot," Lucius told her calmly. How could he possibly speak so evenly? She wanted to cry forever. She felt like she couldn't go on. She felt like the world had stopped spinning for her. Sirius was gone. It was done. And she felt absolutely nothing. When he left her, he took all of her good emotions with him. Now, she felt hollow and worthless.

"I won't," Krystyna whimpered. "Go away. Go away. I hate you."

She put her face in her knees and began to cry. He looked at her and felt like he should be sitting beside her, trying to comfort her, but he knew that she would just get angrier with him. He pocketed his hands and walked away, leaving her to cry by her lonesome. She sat there for maybe and hour, just sobbing her eyes out.

"I hate me."

She was barely there, and she wanted to leave all together. It was done and nothing in the world could bring it together again. She wanted to just fade away--drown in her tears--just cry herself to sleep and then die. She never knew so much pain. She had just made the one she loved the most hate her and he was going to hate her forever. He would never know that she did this so he would live. He would never know that she did this for him. All he knew was a lie.

Krystyna didn't know how she did it. She just found herself standing in front of the portrait to get into the Gryffindor common room. "Dear me, are you okay?" the fat lady asked her worriedly. "First, a boy nearly rips me to pieces; and now you look like you could cry an ocean of tears..."

Krystyna didn't answer the fat lady because she knew she was talking about Sirius. She was just thrown off into another whirlwind of tears and fell against the wall, crying haphazardly. The fat lady looked fit to burst from worry. She calmed herself, just sniffing and letting tears drip out of her red puffy eyes, and choked out the password.

The fat lady opened the portrait door and Krystyna stumbled in clumsily. She looked around the common room and saw that it was void of any people. She was glad for that. She dragged herself up the stairs and pushed herself in the girls' Seventh Year dormitory. Everyone was asleep. They were all peacefully dreaming of wonderful dreams. How she truly envied them now. They didn't know that her world had just come crashing down and her happiness and joy had fallen down with it.

With all of this pain and sorrow on her mind, Krystyna collapsed on her bed and fell into a restless sleep with plenty of nightmares to greet her. She didn't think she could make it. She didn't think she wanted to make it. She had just broken Sirius's heart and it was her entire fault.

~*~

Sirius spit in the faucet and wiped his mouth off. He looked at himself in the mirror in front of him. He looked like a mess, to tell you the truth. He turned off the faucet water and stalked out of the bathroom, heading for the boys' Seventh Year dormitory.

He pulled the door open dangerously and stalked inside, slamming it shut behind himself. Peter jumped from being startled so badly. Remus dropped his pillow and looked up at him calmly.

"Sirius, relax, you look like you just saw Krystyna snogging Malfoy senseless," Remus joked good-naturedly. Sirius shot him a furious glare that made Remus raise his eyebrows for a second.

"That's because I did," Sirius growled furiously. Peter, who had been gargling water for some apparent reason a minute ago, choked and spewed the water on his bed covers in front of him. Remus's eyes widened larger than thought humanly possible.

"Oh my--no way, you're lying," Remus sad in a barely audible voice.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M LYING TO YOU?!!" Sirius screamed hoarsely. Peter pulled his blanket over his head immediately. Sirius could sometimes downright scare him to death. When he got in one of these "moods", he could literally choke someone until they turned blue and he was afraid of being the victim to such torture.

"Sirius, just calm down; I know you're going to just snap at me, but you've got to chill," Remus told him hastily. "If you get to loud, Professor McGonagall will come up here!"

"I don't bloody well care about that right now, Remus!" Sirius yelled spitefully. "All I care about is how I just found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with Malfoy, slimy git extraordinaire!"

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this--"

"Yeah, I didn't cut it for her so she went groveling to Malfoy a few weeks ago! You see what she's made of?! She belongs in Slytherin--not Gryffindor. She wouldn't even look at me! She didn't even flinch when he grabbed her hand! She turned away from me!" Sirius shouted heatedly. Peter began to quiver underneath his blankets. "You don't get it! I loved her so much! I practically poured my soul into her and she repays me by going off snogging Malfoy on the sly!"

"Sirius, if you don't hush up right now I'll stun you!" Remus blurted over his friend's yells. Sirius abruptly went silent. He was breathing heavily and glaring at Remus, but he didn't care. He kept his wand pointed at Sirius to make a point. "Now, just go to sleep and we'll sort this out in the morning, alright? We have all day; it's Sunday tomorrow. We'll do anything you like. Just please get out of that mood of yours."

Sirius said nothing in response. He merely changed into his night clothing and ripped his hangings open so violently that they tore off of the table rings and fell to the ground at his feet. He kicked them and then fixed them with his wand. He slammed his wand on his nightstand and jumped into his bed. He pulled the scarlet curtains to hide himself.

He wrapped himself under his blanket and glared at the ceiling. His heart felt like it had been torn out of his chest, pulled inside out, roasted nicely over a blazing fire, and then placed back into his chest. Nobody would realize how hurt he had been. Krystyna's hadn't even looked in his eyes to see how betrayed and tortured he had looked. She just left him hanging, dangling on a cliffhanger and then pushed him. And he could still feel himself falling into the infinite black hole of anger and hate.

He felt strangely numb to the sadness. He had never been so hurt emotionally in his entire life. Now he could say that he had once been heartbroken. Now he could say that someone had made him play the role of the fool. She had made him so blind. He mused over the weeks to see if he had ignored any signs, but he found none. She was awfully good at deception... He heard Remus crawl into his bed. There was nothing but dead silence hovering over them.

"I wish James was here," Peter suddenly said in the tense silence, sitting up with his knees brought up to his chest, peering over a pillow at Sirius's enclosed four poster bed. "He would know what to say. He always does."

Sirius rolled over onto his side, wishing along with Peter that James was here. He would know what to say to him. He would know exactly how to make him feel better. He always did have the right words to say whether they were for the correct predicament or not. He closed his eyes and forced himself into a very restless sleep.