If Love is a Game...

Chapter Thirty-Two

I Hope You Dance: Confessions

Another fast beat song had come on and the eight of them--including Michelle Brant from Hufflepuff--had decided to stand around each other and dance. James was having a lot of fun twirling Lily around when she was least expecting it, Remus was grinning ear-to-ear, and Sirius couldn't stop laughing.

He was having so much fun. Who know that something he'd dreaded for fifteen days could wind up being the best day of his entire life? Well, Dumbledore certainly did, he supposed. He had silently resolved to himself that he would thank the old man on the occasion he met him.

Krystyna tossed her black hair out of her eyes somewhat flirtatiously and gave him a grin only she could pull off so dashingly. Her blue eyes sparkled like the sun on the ocean waters, though he had never been to the ocean, he could just picture it in his dreams. He was rubbing off onto her; he could tell. She gave him another amused look and turned around to laugh at something Lily had just said.

He watched her every movement, taking in her every twist, dip, and smile. He moved smoothly while she danced almost effortlessly, carrying on a conversation with Lily at the same time. It was amazing, really, how simultaneous Krystyna truly was.

He sighed. Would they remember any of the goodness tonight had brought them? After his fourteen cup of punch--and sixth trip to the boys' bathroom--Sirius had remembered that the punch was spiked. Would they wake up and have no recollection of the night's events? As he danced effortlessly, he mulled over what they had done--what they had accomplished--tonight.

Would Krystyna and he remember their first experience at dancing with each other? Would they remember how good it felt to slow dance? Would Krystyna remember what she asked of him? Would he remember what he promised her? Would Peter remember that he did have courage? Would he remember that someone did adore him?

Would Lily and James remember the best time they'd ever had together? Would Lily remember that is was possible for James to be a romantic? Would James remember how much he liked dancing? Would Lorena remember how safe she felt in Remus's arms--Sirius could see it in her eyes? Would Remus remember how much he actually cared about Lorena? Would they remember getting closer?

With all of these thought provoking questions on his mind, Sirius silently resolved to himself that he would hex Severus Snape in the morning either because he was the one that slipped something in the punch or because he was having a really bad hangover. He decided to figure out his reasoning in the morning.

I wonder if this is the punch thinking or if this is really me pondering, Sirius thought sensibly. Maybe this is who I truly am. Maybe I'm a thinker--a wonderer--and I just hide behind this mask of an impulsive, irrational guy. Nah, this has to be the punch thinking. Me, a thinker? Who am I kidding? This punch must be worse off than I thought... Oh well.

A squeal at his side brought him back to reality. He looked over to see James twirling Lily around rather unexpectedly. Sirius merely smiled at them and let these crazy thoughts fly out of his system. He would get back to normal soon, he hoped. They continued to have their fun.

~*~

After a while, Lorena was starting to get tired. After all, dancing was hard work. She had walked away from the others to take a break and collapsed in a seat at an empty table with a cup of punch. She tapped the back of her head delicately and winced. All those pins in the back of her hair weren't making her headache feel any better. She sighed and dropped her hand in her lap.

Looking around the now unrecognizable Great Hall, Lorena began to "people watch". She supposed it was another habit she had gotten from Remus, who did it quite often. She'd started it once they'd gotten back to Hogwarts from Christmas break when she was more subdued--she admitted it, she was crazy at many times. Now that there was just one hour left in the Masquerade ("It ends at one in the morning, can you believe it?" James had complained earlier. "That's not nearly enough time to do everything I want!"), people were beginning to act and do strange things.

First of all, were the people who were still dancing to the music. Truth be told, there weren't as many dancers out there as there first had been. Others were--how should she put it?--more preoccupied with other things. The ones that were dancing weren't dancing very well, she might add. They were rather clumsy and awkward, if you asked her opinion. Some were staggering into their friends and laughing while others just were acting wild and crazy. The poor souls...

Second of all, there were those people who were sitting down at tables like her, mainly talking about nonsense and nothing that made any sense. Girls were giggling far more than what was normal--it was beginning to annoy Lorena, but she didn't say anything--and boys were either flirting with a girl or doing their best to distinguish between a girl and a boy.

After one incident, Lorena dropped her cup of punch and fell out of her chair. She lied there for a minute or two after hearing a few shouts, a few hexes, a few laughs, and then more talking. She got back in her seat rather shakily after that and left her cup on the ground unattended, seeing as how her hands were shaking and she was blinking.

And last, but certainly she wished least, were those lovely people in the shadows. Ah, young love. I time to sit in the shadows, make out, and Lorena to puke? Okay, so maybe her hands were going to continue shaking until she left.

Seventh Years are sooo mature, Lorena thought dryly. They have to make out while in public and can't wait for their dorms! Sickening, are they trying to make me retch? So much for sitting down to feel better.

Lorena was suddenly startled she felt an arm slid around her neck. She whipped her head around to see the amber eyes of Remus looking right back into her grey ones. He was standing up, but bending down to her level. They were in that position for a few seconds.

"Hey, I thought you looked a little lonely over here," Remus said. He slid into the seat in front of her and his arm slipped off of her shoulders and down to his side. She gave him a faint smile. The punch didn't seem to have affected him much, or maybe it had because he had been acting a little strange. "What were you thinking?"

"Thinking, me? I wouldn't call it thinking, Remus," Lorena replied innocently. She saw a small grin form. "I'd say it's more like... watching, if you ask me."

They sat in the silence, just gazing at each other, and the peculiar part of it was that neither of them found it awkward. Lorena supposed it was the punch, but she didn't feel any difference in her. She felt rather normal, besides the fact that she was still feeling a little sick from the terrifying incident she had unexpectedly witnessed. She didn't know if Remus was or not.

"Do you want to leave now?" Remus suddenly asked her. Lorena thought about it. If she left now, what would she do? Better yet, what would he do? Of course, she wasn't really doing much here either. There wasn't much left to do. She sighed and nodded her head.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that," Lorena told him. He smiled at her and stood up, holding his hand out in front of him. She took it and he pulled her up to her feet. They went to tell the others that they would be leaving soon and that was when the punch sort of hit them. Remus stumbled, pulling Lorena down with him, but she caught herself.

"Are you okay, Remus?" Lorena chortled, grinning broadly in spite of herself. Really, she shouldn't be laughing at him; she should be looking concerned. But he was laughing too and nodded his head. He stood up and brushed himself off. Their masks had disappeared somewhere. Lorena had just remembered them when she saw a boy taking a girls mask off to--

You really have to be careful where you're watching, Fawcett, Lorena thought sardonically. Only she would get in those problems.

"Hey, Sirius, we're heading out, okay?" Remus told them. They stopped dancing to look at him. James, who was hugging Lily, looked over and cocked his head. "See ya!" He put his arm around Lorena's neck and they walked away quickly. Lorena wanted to go faster; she could just tell that someone was about to say something embarrassing.

Sure enough, James cheerfully called after their retreating backs, "Alright, Moony, but don't do anything bad, here me! Prefects aren't supposed to do anything naughty!" They, and a few other people, burst into laughter, and both Remus and Lorena reddened in the face.

Leave it to you, James, to humiliate me twice in two hours, Lorena thought grumpily. They quickly ran out of the Great Hall and burst out laughing. As if they would do anything like that! James could sometimes be a bit daft. She giggled. Remus luckily had Lorena for support; otherwise he would've fallen on the ground, he was laughing so hard.

"Hey, I'll be right back, I have to go to the restroom first," Lorena sighed, calming down and smiling brightly. He relaxed and put his hands in his pockets. He leaned against the wall coolly.

"Okay, take your time if you need to," Remus said, grinning at her after he stopped laughing. She smiled at him and walked for the door. It was times like these that made her hate surprises; she opened what she thought was the bathroom door.

"EEK!!! BLOODY HELL, I'M GONNA BE SICK!!!!"

"Close the door, you're letting a draft in!"

Lorena immediately slammed the door shut and stumbled backwards. She fell backwards, fainted, and Remus just barely made it to her, catching her under the arms. He lifted her back up easily and held her limp form in his arms. His face was burning.

How was he supposed to get her to the Gryffindor common room now? Carry her there? He started to sweat. It had not been the bathroom door, but a closet door, which just so happened to be quite engaged. Lorena had not been prepared for that awful sight.

"Er... Lorena? ...Lorena? Wake up, please," Remus said, nudging her. She muttered something and then blinked, looking directly into Remus's eyes. She was startled a bit. "You sort of fainted..."

"Oh... Oh, thanks for catching me, Remus," Lorena told him. "That would've hurt quite a bit if I hit the ground..." They were silent and then they started laughing together. Slowly, but surely, they made their way to the Gryffindor Tower.

~*~

Meanwhile, James was trying to find a table to sit at. Sirius was searching along with him. Jessie had ran to the bathroom crying for some oblivious reason to the boys (c'mon, this is "girl stuff", lol) and they had went to console her. Peter was off chattering a storm with Michelle Brant, who was rather talkative herself so they went to get a table and sit down.

"Do you think Remus will ever admit it?" James asked curiously. "He won't, even though he's a bit obvious that he fancies Lorena."

"He will sooner or later," Sirius sighed. "Do you think they'll even get to the Gryffindor common room?"

"NO!" the two Marauders laughed unison. They burst out laughing and ignored the odd stares they were getting from the people around them.

~*~

Jessie Fox was sobbing in one of the stalls for some unknown reason. Marissa, Krystyna, and Lily stood outside of the locked stall, trying to say comforting words to her. However, they could not find the right words because they couldn't understand Jessie at all. She was crying and speaking at the same time so her words were muffled by sobs (think the lady on "Freaky Friday").

"Jessie, was it your boyfriend?" Krystyna called from outside of the stall. There was a loud moan and then another shrill cry. She turned to Lily and Marissa. "I guess that's it."

"Did he say something rude to you?" Lily asked her loudly. There was another sobbing word that they couldn't understand. They glanced at each other quickly and then back at the door. "Is that a yes or a no, Jessie? We can't understand you! You have to calm down."

There was no change in her cries. Marissa groaned with frustration. "Did he cheat on you with another girl?" she questioned concernedly. This earned her a very loud sob. They looked at each other. "Who was the other girl, Jess?" She didn't answer them at all.

"Was it a Hufflepuff girl?" Lily asked calmly. She gave a softer, muffled sob. They had figured that this meant a "no" so they persisted on with their interrogation.

"Was it a Ravenclaw?" Krystyna asked. There was another soft cry.

"What about a Slytherin?" Lily questioned.

"A Gryffindor?" Marissa asked loudly. There was silence between the three girls outside of the stall; Krystyna and Lily looked at Marissa oddly. She shrugged her shoulders. "It could happen; I'm just trying to keep an open mind."

"Jessie?" Lily rang soothingly. "If you don't want to tell us, that's okay with us. If you want us to leave you alone, we will. But we'll be out there when you're ready to talk, okay?" There was no answer. They assumed that this meant that she wanted them to go away. Lily sighed sorrowfully. "C'mon, let's give her some room to breathe, girls..."

They began to walk for the door. Krystyna opened the door when Jessie squealed, "No, I don't want you to go! I w-want to talk about it n-now." Lily and Krystyna looked at each other and then at Marissa, who was looking at them. Krystyna shut the door and locked it with her wand. She leaned against the wall while Lily and Marissa walked over to the stall again.

"It was Black," Jessie mumbled inside the stall. Lily pressed her ear against the stall lightly.

"He was in the black? Do you mean it was dark because he was in the shadows?" Marissa asked thickly, taking a step closer to the locked stall door.

"No, it was Black!" Jessie yelled shrilly.

"Sirius?" Krystyna replied confusedly, standing straight up and gaping at the door. "He cheated you on with Sirius??"

"No, he did it with Bellatrix Black!" Jessie shrieked angrily. Lily took her ear off of the stall door almost immediately. She gave Krystyna a fleeting look and then took a few steps away from the stall. "How dare he do such a thing? She's at least a year younger than him and in Slytherin! She's so mean and picks on a lot of the younger kids! He should know better; he's in Ravenclaw after all! And after all the things he said to me--how he loved me and wanted to be with me forever--he kisses th-that Slytherin evil girl!"

She began to cry very loudly again. "There, there, Jessie, it's better of you to have found out now that he isn't good for you than later on in life, right?" Lily said sympathetically. "You see, what happens if you were farther in this relationship and then found out that he was like this? It would have been ghastly!"

Krystyna fell against the wall again. Her hands began to tremble. She put them behind her back to hide them. She had decided what she was going to do--how she was going to dump Sirius. She didn't want to do it at all, but she knew she had to. Jessie could get a little dramatic about some things, but now, she was afraid that something like this--with less crying and drama--might happen with Sirius and her.

Jessie despised her boyfriend now. She wondered if Sirius would be the same. And would Lily be saying the same things to Sirius? Would James be telling him it was better to have found out that she wasn't for him now than later? She shuddered at the thought of it happening. She sank to the floor of the bathroom while she left Lily and Marissa to console Jessie.

~*~

Remus and Lorena burst into the common room laughing their heads off. Remus had his arm around her waist and leaning on her for support. They were guffawing because he had joked about her incident with the closet just minutes ago. A few Third Years peered at them from behind the chairs and couch very timidly. Remus saw them and immediately straightened up, making it a lousy attempt to look as if he was sober. Lorena snorted, but straightened up herself.

"Nuffink's wrong, go back to studyin'," Remus slurred dismissively. Lorena rolled her eyes and dragged Remus up the stairs to the boys' Seventh Year dormitory as he began to snigger again. The punch still hadn't affected her yet, but she realized Remus was way under the influence of it. Bloody Slytherins...

Lorena opened the door and pulled Remus in by the wrist. He was still sniggering. She pulled him through the room and sat him down on the bed. She put her hands on her hip firmly. "Now, I want you to do the Sobering Charm on yourself and change out of those dress robes while I take a refreshing shower," she told him forcefully. She turned on her heels and began to walk away. She stopped and looked back at him giving her a funny grin. "Actually, you might want to do the Sobering Charm on yourself twice or wait for me to get done so you don't hurt yourself."

"I can do it by myself!" Remus replied with a cute boyish grin on his face. She rolled her eyes at him, but smiled back nonetheless. She walked out of the room and went to take a shower. Remus began to search for his wand in his pockets.

~*~

James walked out of the Great Hall and into the dark hallway by himself. He had to go to the bathroom for the seventh time badly. He looked rather calm to have to go badly, but he was good at deception. The corridor was darker than it had been the last time he had come out. He saw that the torch beside the bathroom door had been blown out. He sighed grumpily and walked over to the door. He opened it up to get a large shock.

"Damn, this isn't the boys' toilet!"

"What's your problem? This is the second time this has happened! Shut the door, you bloody pouf!"

"Hey, it's Potter! Wanna join--?"

James slammed the door shut immediately and just stood there in shock. He had about jumped out of his shoes when he saw that. He suddenly took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He blinked and put his glasses back on.

It's times like these that make me wish that I didn't get glasses to have 20/20 vision, James thought sourly. He turned around on his heels sharply and stalked back into the Great Hall. He walked over to the table Sirius was at and he sat back down in his seat. Sirius looked back up at him from his punch.

"Did you go to the bathroom already?" Sirius asked him.

"Yeah," James replied regretfully.

~*~

Remus had done the Sobering Charm on himself. He sat his wand down on his nightstand. He looked out of the window to see the moon. It was safe to say that it wasn't a full one. He massaged the palm of his left hand with his thumb. He was thinking--very hard. Tonight was more than the night. It was the best night. Even though he didn't want to ruin the bliss, he couldn't stand lying to her anymore.

He bowed his head and glared at his feet. Why him? Why did he have to be a werewolf? Why had the werewolf chosen him to bite? He looked back at the window, glowering at the moon. It was one thing that he had gotten bitten in the first place, but it was another to know that it might not have been him. He hadn't told anyone of how it had happened. All James, Sirius, and Peter knew was that he was a werewolf, but they didn't know how the story went. He hadn't been alone. The werewolf had chose him--him. And he never knew why.

He'd kept it from Sirius, James, and Peter for obvious reasons. He had been afraid that they wouldn't accept him like all the others. Throughout his years before Hogwarts, anyone that found out had looked down upon him as if he was dirt--as if he was evil--a Dark creature. It had felt stranger than ever to be doing an essay on werewolves. Professor Taylor had been very dark about it, but he kept it very much to a minimum, knowing full well that one of his students--he--was one. Severus Snape found out last year thanks to a lovely joke from Sirius. Remus had yet to completely forgive him for that reckless thing.

He'd kept it from Krystyna when they became Prefects together. He didn't know her that well. He hadn't talked to her that much. Their only contact had been Sirius, who annoyed her at the time. When they became Prefects and had to do patrols together, he was very wary. He knew she was very perceptive and he had been afraid that she might find out. After James had practically blurted his secret to the rest of the school right after they had taken their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L., Remus had been afraid that she had heard since she was right behind them. Luckily, she hadn't and he was safe for now.

And then, along came Lorena Fawcett. He only knew that she and Malfoy didn't get along, she was very loud, very temperamental, and brilliant in Potions. He'd sat next to her during their Potions O.W.L. and she had finished it in thirty-something minutes--that was record breaking, he later read in Hogwarts, A History. He hadn't expected to ever get to know her. He knew that he thought she was attractive--that was for sure--but that's all he knew of her.

After this year, Remus had found out that she was more than just all of that. She was amazing. And she was like him in many ways. She was mysteries abound because under all those tough layers of anger and fury, there was a soft spot of laughter, happiness, tears, and fear. She had a secret. Like him, she had a skeleton in the cupboard. He was afraid to become a monster; she was afraid to become a Death Eater--and in the end of it all, they are the same, Death Eater and monster.

But no, he would never tell her. He couldn't possibly tell her. She would be like all of the others. She would see him in a different light and then back up from him. She would never accept him. Lorena would leave him in the dark if she found out.

But there was a problem: Remus had to tell her. He couldn't hide the fact from her anymore. When it came down to it all, he was the one keeping her in the dark. He hated lying to her every time when she asked him if he was feeling alright. He had promised to be there for her--and here he was, lying to her all along. How could he be her confidant if he didn't trust her enough? Not a very good one. He'd tossed it over in his mind for weeks now, replaying how it might turn out. He only had an inkling of hope that she would accept him.

And Remus had decided--no matter how much he knew that he would probably regret it later--no matter how much he was afraid to say--no matter how bad it would probably turn out--he was going to tell her tonight. He knew he should wait another night so he wouldn't ruin their joviality, but he couldn't lie to her one more night. Remus was going to tell Lorena whether he liked it or not.

~*~

Krystyna and Lily sat down at the table with Sirius and James. Peter was still talking with Michelle and having a great time. Lily sighed with relief and took a sip of James's punch without his permission. She sat it back down on the table loudly.

"So, how'd it go with Jessie?" Sirius asked, looking up at Krystyna. She rolled her eyes and groaned. Lily shook her head gravely.

"It was absolutely dreadful," Krystyna replied gruelingly. James and Sirius glanced at each other quickly and then back at her. Lily looked to her left and glowered at somebody. "It turns out that just minutes ago, Jessie caught Daniel kissing your cousin, Sirius."

James's eyes widened and his mouth dropped. Sirius straightened up in his seat abruptly and cocked his head confusedly. "Narcissa?" he said, sounding bemused. "But I thought--"

"No, your other cousin!" Lily told him loudly. He looked even more befuddled than before. They weren't getting any closer to him. He cocked his head to the other side.

"Andromeda?" Sirius replied, very perplexed. "But she's not even at Hogwarts anymore! She's married to some Muggle-born named Ted Tonks--"

"No, your other cousin, Sirius!" Krystyna exclaimed, frustrated with him too. Lily slapped her forehead with the palm of her head. James was still looking confused. "Bellatrix Black!"

This seemed to turn on a light in Sirius's black mind. "Oh, yeah, her--wait; he kissed her?!" he blurted out disgustedly. They nodded their heads regretfully. Sirius looked at James wearing a revolted look on his face that mirrored his friend's. "Sick!"

"Tell me about it," Lily muttered under her breath. "Jess was so upset about it. She was crying her eyes out. It made me feel so furious with that idiot for doing that to her heart! She was absolutely crazy about him and this is how he repays her. That alone made me sick." Sirius, James, and Krystyna nodded their heads in agreement. "If one more sickening thing happens, I think I might throw it."

"Don't go to the bathroom then, Lil," James warned sadly. Lily, Krystyna, and Sirius stared at him very confusedly, but he didn't go into any further detail. He just put his chin in his hands. He was not going to tell them what horrors he had seen.

~*~

Lorena tried drying her hair just a bit. She cocked her head and rubbed her hair swiftly between a white towel. It didn't do much difference, but it did just a bit. She sighed and threw the towel down in a pile with the other one she had just used. She put her hands on the counter and focused on her reflection in the large mirror.

Bright blonde hair, deep grey eyes, slightly pale skin, somewhat pointed features... Lorena snorted. She could pass as Malfoy's twin sister. This was not a good thing, but she had gotten past her looks. She knew that that was the way she was and there was no point in changing it. The looks didn't make the person; she knew that. She looked back at her relatives to figure that out. Estella was one of the prettiest people she had seen, but she was ugly on the inside--she was horrid. Many girls had had huge crushes on Marcus while he was at school and look how he turned out--evil. Malfoy? Well, she couldn't really call him evil because she looked almost exactly like him. Anyhow, he was a jerk.

What got to Lorena was what was on the inside. Many nights, as she lay in her bed in the Malfoy Manor, she had wondered about if she really did belong in this family. Her mother may have had her last name changed to "Fawcett" when she got married, but she was still a Malfoy at heart. So, naturally, her mother wanted her, Lorena Gwyneth Fawcett, to be a Malfoy at heart. That's why she spent more time at the Malfoy Manor that at her home. Her brother, Allen Fawcett, oh, he was the lucky one. He was his father's son so he was pure Fawcett--brains and good appearance, nothing more than that. She often wondered if he ever thought about her and why she wasn't at home with him.

So, was she a Malfoy at heart too? Was she just like Malfoy--like he told her--in the end? Was she one of them; no matter how much she tried to escape it? She told herself that she wasn't. She wasn't really even a Fawcett, truth be told. She was just... Lorena--Lorena Gwyneth. She shook her head, but smiled. She was herself and that was it. She could be like Malfoy--it was possible--but so far, she didn't think she was and that was all that counted. That and nobody else thought she was like him.

Lorena turned off the light to the bathroom and walked out, shutting the door behind herself. She walked back into the boys' Seventh Year dormitory, maybe to talk to Remus or just say goodnight. She saw that he was still sitting on his bed in the same position she had left him. She slowly shut the door without a sound. However, as she took a few silent steps, he must've heard because he looked up at her.

Her hair was still wet and looking a little darker because of it. Her skin looked smoother after a shower and he could smell the shampoo. She was wearing a white bathrobe. She smiled at him and he returned a feeble one. She sat down on his bed beside him.

"Hey, have you just sat here since I left to take a shower?" Lorena asked him curiously. He was still in his dress robes, though he looked like he had run his fingers through his brown hair a few times. He was looking down at the floor, as if it was quite interesting. She bent down at little to try to look at him in his face, but he didn't look at her. In the angle he was sitting in, a dark shadow fell over her amber eyes so she couldn't see them. "Remus, is there something wrong?"

"Lorena, I have something that I have to confess," Remus suddenly said. She had not been expecting this at all. She blinked and considered that she might have fallen asleep in the Great Hall and she was stuck in a dream. She was tempted to pinch herself to see if she was right, but resisted it.

"Okay, go ahead and tell me," Lorena replied softly. He said nothing at first. He just stayed in that same position she found him in and was silent, as if he was still trying to find the right words. She could sense that he was uncomfortable--he didn't want to tell her, she knew. She sighed and frowned when he was still soundless. She looked down and saw his hand on the bed. She assumed that it was going to be the only way he would look at her or even move. She placed her hand over his and he immediately looked up at her into her deep grey eyes. "It's alright; just tell me."

Remus gulped. "I'll understand if you don't feel comfortable around me after tonight. I'll even understand if you look down upon me after I tell you this. Heck, I'll understand if you're afraid of me. But, it hasn't been easy for me to keep this away from you and it's definitely not easy telling you tonight," he explained in a would-be calm voice. She looked at him with uncertainty. What was he talking about? Something she had never seen before flickered in his eyes. She couldn't put a name to the emotion.

"Afraid of you? What are you going on about, Remus?" Lorena questioned worriedly. Something was definitely wrong with this picture.

"Lorena, you don't understand and I'm sorry that I've been lying to you this entire time. You're practically the best thing that has happened in my life. If I died right now, I swear, I'd be the happiest guy in the entire universe. You've made me feel so much better and you don't even know that you've been helping me without realizing it," Remus said quietly, tears burning in his eyes. "Lorena, I'm a... I'm a..."

"You're a what? You're a what?!" Lorena almost demanded, terrified. Maybe he was sick and he was going to die or something. Well, she'd make him get better. Maybe he was not who he said he was. Maybe he was already dating someone else! Right now, nothing was making sense to her. Everything was possible and nothing was impossible. "If it's anything bad, I'll be there for you like you said you'd be there for me. I'll help you get through any trouble you're going through. You're scaring me... Please tell me..."

Remus looked into her imploring grey eyes. She looked absolutely frightened to death. She was afraid that he was going to die only to find out that she could die if something went wrong. He just wanted to hold her until she felt safe again, but then he reminded himself that it was his fault. "I'm a..."

"Remus, just say it," Lorena whispered, her heart racing at the speed of light. She put her other hand on his cheek and looked at him determinedly. He looked surprised at this move. "I can't help you, if you don't tell me what's going on."

"You can't help me," Remus said loudly. "I'm a werewolf, Lorena!" He bolted to his feet and stalked over to the window, leaving her hanging on a limb. Her hand was still in the air where it had been against his cheek just seconds ago. She was taking deep breaths. She closed her eyes and closed her mouth. Her arm dropped on the bed and she bowed her head.

So this was what he had been hiding from her. Every time she had asked if he was feeling well--if he was sick--and he said he ate something that didn't agree with him or he was fine, he was actually covering up the fact that he was looking peaky because the full moon was close. Werewolves... she'd been told by her mother that they were wretched, dark creatures that deserved to be hated and looked down upon--to be feared. And here she was, sitting in the same room as one.

Lorena opened her eyes and looked at him. She got to her feet slowly and took a few precautious steps toward him. "It doesn't matter," she said in the silence. She could see his tortured face in his reflection on the window. He could see her reflection behind his own in the window. She stood a few steps behind him to give him some room to breathe.

"It doesn't matter? Of course it matters!" Remus snapped. She looked down at her feet. He never spoke to her like that. He was pushing her away. "I could kill you if something went wrong."

"I don't care," Lorena told him quietly in a defiant voice. "It doesn't matter to me. You would kill me if you pushed me away now. I was just this angry, misunderstood girl before this year. I had no one to talk to--to open up to. Krystyna, Lily, and Sara were there for me, but they couldn't do everything for me. They did all they could, but I was still this despondent, little girl that bottled all her fears inside herself like a corked up bottle of champagne.

"I hid all of my fear and grief under layers and layers of rage. People just thought that I had something wrong with me. No one could possibly be this angry. In a way, they were right, but they were also wrong. I was more than that--much more. And you saw more," Lorena whispered.

Lorena paused for a second. She let her words ring in the silence. Remus had had the guts to confess something to her. She felt that she owed him a confession of her own. She looked at his reflection in the window kindly.

"You looked beyond my tough outer appearance. You looked past the anger and rage to find something much different. You uncovered someone much different. You saw why I appeared to be this hate filled, spiteful, little girl. You saw that I had been in emotional pain and just a plain mess on the inside. And you did something about it; you cleaned me up.

"You made me smile, laugh, and you just made me feel like I was actually someone. I wasn't just this girl that didn't measure up to my family. I measured up to you. And that made me feel so good to know that you didn't care if I wasn't the smartest, prettiest, nicest witch out there. You made me feel appreciated and I just felt so good."

Lorena closed her eyes. She let silence drift between them. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes terribly, but she didn't want to cry. She opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. She was cold now. She felt like Remus wasn't there. Honestly, she didn't know if he was all there or not. She looked at his reflection in the window.

"You said that I've helped you so much without knowing it. Well, we're even I guess because you've been doing the exact same thing for me. This has been the toughest year in my entire life with my family and you've been there from the beginning. I've had more support than I have ever had. I'd always felt alone whether I was with Krystyna, Lily, and Sara or not. But when you're there, I don't feel alone. I feel alive and I'm truly happy. I'm elated.

"I don't care that you're a werewolf. It doesn't matter. You just have to go through more pain than I realized. And I want to be there so I can make you feel just a little bit better. I want to be able to be at your bedside in the Hospital Wing when you wake up in the morning after another excruciating painful night. I want to be able to be there when you feel like it's too much. I want to be able to put my arms around you when you think that you just want it to go away. I want to be there for you."

"But I could severely hurt you," Remus murmured grimly, rubbing his eyes. "I don't think I could live with myself if I hurt you or did something even worse to you..."

"You're pushing me away! I don't want to push you away! I want to stay in your life. Doing something worse to me is what you're doing now! Can't you see?" Lorena told him quickly, tears burning her eyes, wanting to escape down her cheeks. "I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't do anything to lessen your pain..."

"I'm a werewolf," Remus muttered under his breath, "a Dark creature."

"But you're no less of a human than you would've been if you weren't a werewolf!" Lorena told him hotly. "I shouldn't treat you any less because you go through more pain than most humans! People are going to look down upon you for something that's not your fault. I'm not going to be one of those people. I want to be something different.

"Some people just look at me and think I'm a hot-tempered girl that's violent. They disregard me as some wild card. They look down upon me because I'm Malfoy's cousin. You didn't! You're enemies with Malfoy yet you stand beside me. You stood up for me. I've had to stand up for myself my entire life. Do you know how great I felt to see you standing up for me and I didn't even ask you to? And I want to still stand beside you. I want to stand up for you. Like you did for me..."

Lorena bowed her head and closed her eyes. She let a few tears slip out from underneath her eyelids and the splashed onto the floor. Remus turned around to face. He took the few steps toward her. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned her head against his chest.

"Thank you, Lorena, thank you," Remus whispered. "Thank you for understanding." She put her arms around him and looked up at him into his eyes. She saw that same unlabeled emotion flicker in his eyes and then she smiled faintly. She knew what that was. They leaned together for the perfect end to their night...

~*~

Krystyna and Sirius were on the dance floor for just one last dance. Pressed tightly together, their eyes closed, wrapped up in a warm blanket of pure bliss. Sirius opened his eyes and so did Krystyna. They immediately looked into each other's eyes. He smiled and she returned one.

Sirius put a hand on her cheek, her wavy black hair falling over the tips of his fingers. She smiled and closed her eyes. His hand slid off her cheek and she laid her head against him. Nothing in the world could bring him out of the clouds at this point.

It's nice to know we had it all, Krystyna thought as she danced with him for just one last time. She had, in one of her "girl moments" imagined how nice it would be to dance at her wedding. And to think, this was exactly how she had pictured it.