Rating:
PG
House:
Riddikulus
Genres:
Humor Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 06/09/2005
Updated: 06/09/2005
Words: 1,628
Chapters: 1
Hits: 535

Behind Picture Perfect Smiles

Lanni Weasley

Story Summary:
Behind every picture-perfect smile, there's bound to be a lie. There is no exception when it comes to the teenage portraits of the Four "Great" Founders that supposedly got along swimmingly until the end. Godric and Helga seem to be the perfect couple, while Salazar is in love with the hot-headed Rowena. Now, if only Rowena would see it that way...

Chapter 01

Chapter Summary:
Behind ever picture perfect smile, there's bound to be a lie. There is no exception when it comes to the teenage portraits of the Four "Great" Founders that supposedly got along swimmingly until the end. Godric and Helga seem to be the perfect couple while Salazar is in love with the hot-heated Rowena. Now, if only Rowena would see it that way...
Posted:
06/09/2005
Hits:
535
Author's Note:
There is no reason why I wrote this. And I'm terribly sorry, but they all speak way too modern. It's annoying me, but I...well, I'm too lazy to research how to fix it. I'm a lazy arse.


Behind Picture Perfect Smiles

Lanni Weasley

Chapter One: The Sorting Hat

It was a beautiful day at Hogwarts. It was quiet, too. So far, the soon-to-be school was being decorated and the rules were being written. Godric Gryffindor was slaving over his cool Gryffindor Tower; Helga Hufflepuff was teaching the sweet house elves how to sing; Salazar Slytherin was viciously scrubbing the dungeon floors for the fifth time; and Rowena Ravenclaw was-

"Aaaarrrggghhh! Bloody hat! Work, you stupid piece of dung, work! I've done absolutely every bloody thing I could done! Why won't it work? I command you to speak, hat!"

Rowena was trying to make the Sorting Hat work properly. Of course, it was being difficult and not cooperating with her so she promptly tossed it out the window for the fourth time.

"It won't work because it has part of Slytherin's brain in it," Rowena grumbled irritably as she stalked out of the room and down the stairs once again. She suddenly stopped and then added quietly, "If Slytherin even had a brain to begin with."

She had to retrieve the Hat for the fourth time; she couldn't use magic on it right now because it would damage it or render all the other spells on it useless.

"Lady Ravenclaw! Lady Ravenclaw!"

Rowena rolled her eyes. "Godric Gryffindor, for the last time, just call me 'Rowena' - or even 'Ro', for that matter!" she cried out exasperatedly. Poor Godric was too much of the gentleman for her taste. He stopped in front of her.

"May I call you 'Ro'?" Salazar Slytherin popped up out of nowhere. She glowered at him.

"Go back to the dungeons where you belong!" Rowena snapped. Ever since she first saw him (Lord Ravenclaw, her late father, had tutored him, along with her, Godric, and Helga.), he teased her. He never left her alone.

"As you wish..." Salazar sighed, and then he grinned devilishly and added, "Ro."

"Off with your head!" Rowena shouted. She pulled on Godric's sword, but it was too heavy, and she fell to the ground. Salazar bounded off, cackling like a maniac. She scowled angrily. Oh, how she loathed him dearly. Godric rushed to her side.

"My lady, are you alright?" Godric questioned, worried.

"It's not 'Lady Ravenclaw'; it's not 'my lady'. It's Rowena!" Rowena rolled her eyes at him and shrugged him off of her. She stood back up and brushed her dress off. Godric returned his sword to his sheath.

Rowena lifted her head high. "Now," she said, sounding calm again, "what was it that you wanted before you were so rudely" - she shot the door where Salazar had gone through a dirty look - "interrupted, Godric?"

"I retrieved the Hat for you, Mi - Rowena." Godric held out the limp Hat. She took it. "I was taking a much needed break - a walk on the grounds - when it fell from the sky and landed upon my head! It said I would do smashingly in Gryffindor."

"It said something?" Rowena demanded excitedly. Maybe it did work, after all.

Godric nodded his head. Rowena cheered and threw her arms around his neck. She thanked him and ran off to the Ravenclaw Tower.

"I knew it would work!" Rowena declared to no one. She beamed and then turned left. She was so thrilled that she didn't even notice that she was heading into the Slytherin Dungeons. She stuck the hat on her head.

Hello, so you finally got me working, the Sorting Hat said.

Yes, I did. Now, where do I belong? I need to make sure you work but work properly.

The Hat was silent. It's voice was odd; perhaps it was due to the mixture of brains in it. Of course, this was an easy question.

Well, you would do good in Slytherin-

What?!

-but you'd be amazing in Ravenclaw.

That's what I thought.

Rowena huffed and tore the Sorting Hat off of her head. She stormed down the stairs in a furious state. Her - Slytherin. Ha! That was absolutely preposterous. Yes, the dear Hat definitely had Slytherin's brains in it.

Rowena was so furious that she wasn't paying attention to wear she was going. She accidentally bumped into Slytherin and crumbled to the stone floor rather painfully. After all, Slytherin was tall and rugged (the only muscled he'd ever acquired were from fighting with Godric), and she was thin and petite. She rubbed her hurt bottom.

"Ouch! Why are you just standing there in the middle of the corridor?" Rowena demanded. "Better yet...what you doing in the Ravenclaw Tower?"

"My dear," Slytherin said with the usual sneer on his pale face. She glowered at him; she hated when he talked to her like that. And he knew it, too. "This is not the Ravenclaw Tower. You're in the Slytherin Dungeons, dear."

"Huh?" Rowena was confused, which didn't happen very often. She looked around and realized that Slytherin was correct; she was, indeed, in the Slytherin Dungeons. She groaned and flopped onto her back.

"Isn't it lovely down here?" Slytherin asked, sneering very down at her. "You should come down here more often. I have plenty of empty beds, you know."

"Oh, shut it, you."

"I was only making an observation." Slytherin's sneer never left his face.

"I didn't know you were capable," Rowena bit back. Her bottom really hurt. She looked up at him, and he looked down at her. There was total silence until Rowena broke it. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, are you going to help me up or what?"

Slytherin smirked at her. "Or what."

"Oh, you are so impossible, Slytherin!" Rowena exclaimed exasperatedly. She shook her head at him and began to help herself up. Although she abhorred Godric's gentleman behavior, it was an automatic thing to help a woman up from the ground.

"I thought you didn't like it," Slytherin said.

"Oh, I don't, but it's quite difficult to get up when you're in a bloody dress!" Rowena pointed out. She stumbled over the hem of her long dress and fell back onto the ground. Slytherin watched her struggle with an amused look on his face.

Suddenly, Slytherin grabbed her hand and jerked her to her feet. She squealed in surprise. She bumped into him again, hard, and almost fell back down again, but Slytherin put an arm around her waist, catching her. He pulled her closer to him, and she thought she might die...because he really did stink.

"Ah, what an interesting position we're in," Slytherin commented coolly, "wouldn't you say, Rowena?"

"Come to think of it - no," Rowena replied curtly, "I don't think this is a very interesting position; and definitely not one I like."

"You hurt me so, Rowena," Slytherin told her with mock pain. She rolled her eyes at him. Must he be sarcastic with her? Both knew she would win that game, as she was the most sarcastic person in the entire universe - or so Helga said.

"Good, that's what I was aiming for," Rowena said. He smirked; his seemingly black but dark blue eyes gleamed with a playful malice - not a good sign, Rowena decided. "Let go of me - now, Slytherin."

"No, I don't think so; I'm having way too much fun," Slytherin said smoothly. Yes, as usual, Rowena was right; the look in his eyes was not a good sign at all. "Since we are in the perfect stance" - Rowena snorted; it was hardly that - "let us dance."

Music came on from somewhere in the corridor. Rowena just gawked at Slytherin, who just grinned back at her. The nineteen year-old prat was clearly insane. The eighteen year-old genius definitely did not want to dance - and especially not with Salazar Slytherin.

But, alas, there was nothing she could do as Slytherin twirled around to the music, spinning her in the process. Rowena closed her eyes and tried to make sense of the situation.

The Sorting Hat said she would do "good" in Slytherin - but better in Ravenclaw, obviously. Music was coming from who-knows-where. Salazar Slytherin was dancing with her in the Slytherin Dungeons. He was holding her hand. And he had his arm around her waist, too.

Rowena sighed, eyes still closed. This was not helping her in any way. By the way, where did that Hat go?

With all this on Rowena's mind and because her eyes were closed, she didn't notice Slytherin getting closer and closer and closer...

~*~

...and closer and closer. Helga Hufflepuff opened her eyes after Godric stopped snogging her. She noticed that he was gaping at something. That was when she heard the music. Was that...? Yes, that was Salazar's favourite song playing. Helga pulled away from Godric and glowered at him. She put her hands on her hips.

"Godric, what are you staring at?" Helga demanded. Godric didn't say anything; he just put his hands on her cheeks and turned her head in the right direction. He eyes went wide and her jaw slack. "Oh..."

Salazar and Rowena were dancing together, although Rowena did seem to be strained. Salazar, however, appeared to be loving it. Or better yet...

~*~

At that exact moment, all of Rowena's thoughts came to a violent crash on the cold, stone ground. She opened her eyes wildly. Salazar Slytherin was snogging her, Rowena Ravenclaw!

Rowena obviously panicked. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Was he even thinking? Why was he kissing her? She was going to die. He liked her. No. He liked her?! How could this be? No. If Godric and Helga ever found out about this...!

So, without further ado, Rowena fainted in Slytherin's arms, knowing that she was going to give him all the wrong ideas.


Author notes: Thanks for reading this!