Least Likely Of All

Chapter Sixteen, Parts 76- 80

Chapter Sixteen, Part One: One Day At A Time

"Papa, do you realize how important this is?" Lily sighed, unconsciously rubbing her swollen, 5 months pregnant belly.

"Yes, Lily, I do. But, as I've said before, this is your mess to deal with, not mine." Dumbledore shook his head at his granddaughter as he looked down and began writing something.

"Do you know how devastated Severus is going to be if the twins end up having brown hair and blue eyes?" Lily said quietly, "How devastated I'll be?"

"You should have thought of that sooner." Dumbledore said rather sharper than he had wanted to. "Before you went sleeping around."

"Papa!" Lily exclaimed. The two were back in the Headmaster's office just as the school year was ending, saying their goodbyes. Before Dumbledore had a chance, Lily immediately asked him once more who the father of her babies was.

"Lily, you know as well as I do you didn't have to sleep with Remus; it wasn't necessary." Dumbledore said, massaging his temple. "And I'm not going to always be around. You need to learn to deal with your mistakes."

"Becoming a werewolf took about fifty years off my lifespan." Lily grumbled, "Chances are, you'll live longer than me."
Dumbledore shook his head, "I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you, darling."

"Did you know that James' parents asked to see Harry last month? For the first time in nearly thirteen years, they ask to see their grandson." Lily sighed, "Why now, of all times?"

"Life has a peculiar way of - " Dumbledore started.

" - Of f-cking you at the worst possible time." Lily finished for him, glaring up at the ceiling. "Why though? Believe me, if I had the control to stop it -"

"Yet you did, Lily. You just didn't realize it." Dumbledore said quietly. Lily looked over at him, her green eyes clouding over a bit.

"It wasn't my fault."

Dumbledore sighed, "Of course, it's never your fault."

"Papa!" Lily exclaimed once more, "You know it's not!"

"Lily, I know this is hard for you, but you're going to have to grow up and accept the blame every once in a while. You're not a child anymore; you have six wonderful children at home waiting for you. Take care of them." Dumbledore said quietly.

"It should have been seven." Lily spat angrily, "But that god damned - "

"If it hadn't been for Voldemort, Harry would have never been born." Dumbledore said. "And how would you feel then? Sacrificing the life of an unborn child for the life of a fourteen year old?"

"He's thirteen." Lily said softly, "He's thirteen and the offspring of the man I hated more than any other in the world."

"Even Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked.

"Voldemort was not a man. He wasn't even human." Lily said, leaning back in her chair.

"Do you hate Harry?" Dumbledore asked, already knowing the answer.

"Do I hate Harry? What kind of a question is that, Papa? You know very well how much I love him. He's my child - "

"And, as you said, the child of your greatest enemy."

"Yes, that too." Lily said softly. "He's even growing up to look exactly like him."

"Yes, the Potter men do tend to look exactly alike." Dumbledore chuckled.

"Harry's not a Potter. He's a Snape." Lily corrected her grandfather. Dumbledore nodded, agreeing.

"Yes, he's very much a Snape. By name and adoption, of course, but not by blood, child. By blood, he's a Potter."

"Since when has blood made any difference?" Lily asked, "Blood is something running through you, it doesn't make you who you are."

"Yes, it doesn't make you who you are, but without blood, you wouldn't survive." Dumbledore countered.

"Without family, it's impossible also." Lily said quietly. "So which is more important? Blood or love?"

"For physical survival, blood." Dumbledore answered, "But for mental survival, love."

"So if the twins are Remus'... Do you think Severus will reject them?" Lily asked.

"Perhaps," he answered, "But I don't see it in him to do such a thing."

"Years ago, people wouldn't have thought twice about answering that with a yes." Lily said.

"Yes, but as time goes by, people change."

"He still has the mark..." Lily said quietly, looking at her own arm. "He hates it."

"He had no choice." Dumbledore said firmly, "Just as Remus didn't have any choice... Just like Harry didn't have a choice. He has that mark because his father made him. Remus slept with you because you subconsciously made him. Harry's father is James because of a fickle thing we've dubbed time."

Lily shook her head, "I don't think I can do this, Papa."

"Of course you can." Dumbledore said softly, "You're stronger than any other woman I've had the privilege of knowing. You can do this."

"What if they are Remus'? I'll never forgive myself... I'll have two constant reminders running around me, calling Severus 'Daddy'. How am I supposed to handle that?"

"One day at a time, child." Dumbledore said, "One day at a time."

Three days later, Harry, Ethan, Lily, and Severus arrived home for the first time in six months. The other children were delighted to see them; Star ran to Harry immediately and wrapped her arms around his neck, refusing to let go.

"Star-baby, Harry needs to breathe." Severus laughed, watching his youngest child choke Harry.

"I'm ok!" Harry gasped, peeling the child away from him. "It's good to see you too, Dakota."

"Why are you so big, Mummy?" Drake asked, poking his mother's stomach with a pudgy finger. She smiled and reached down to ruffle his hair.

"You guys are going to have two baby brothers or sisters in a few months." She and Severus waited, watching the children's' reaction.

Drake and Dakota had broke out into immediate smiles. Dea had looked over towards Kaylee for hers, which ended up being shock. Ethan and Harry were calm; they had known for months and were both having a good time watching their siblings babble in surprise.

"But... Mum..." Kaylee shook her head, making her fiery red hair fall into her face. "I thought you said Dakota was going to be the last sibling?"

"Sometimes stuff happens that you can't control, darling." Severus said, picking the ten year old up. "You don't mind, of course?"

Kaylee grinned, "Of course not, Daddy."

"And Daddy's staying home." Lily smiled down at Dea, who was shaking her head at the news. "So it'll just be the five of us while Harry, Ethan, and Kaylee are at Hogwarts next year."

Dea's eyes lit up, "Really?"

"Yes, darling. Really." Severus laughed, hauling her up in his other arm. "You two are getting far too heavy to pick up at the same time!"

"That's surprising." Lily mused, "Kaylee, darling, are you sure you've been eating?"

Kaylee was one hundred and twenty seven centimeters tall, weighing in at only twenty-four kilos (A/N: That's four and a quarter feet tall and sixty pounds for all us Americans). She was absolutely tiny for her age, while Dea was only two inches shorter than her.

"Yes, Mum. Jubby tells me to stop eating all the time... He thinks I eat too much." Kaylee answered, resting her head on Severus' shoulder.

"And do you?" Lily inquired, kneeling down to hug Drake and Dakota.

"He claims I eat us out of house and home!" Kaylee giggled, squirming for Severus to put her down.

"As long as you're eating, dear. You got your slim figure from your father -"

"And your height from your mother." Severus finished for Lily, a smile playing across his lips.

That night, Lily lay in bed while Severus leaned against the window, watching the waning half-moon glide slowly across the dark sky.

What's wrong, Sev? Come to bed.

Lily, love, I'm not tired.

Well, I certainly can't sleep without you here.

Sorry, love.

That's quite all right, Sev... What's wrong?

Restless.

Take a potion.

Only if I must.

In fifteen minutes, if you're not back next to me, you're taking one.

I promise, love, I will be.

Just as Severus finished his thought, a snow-white owl appeared on the window sill, tapping the glass expectantly. Severus immediately opened the window and relieved the creature of it's burden. Just as Severus started opening the letter, the owl disappeared into the night.

"Who's it from?" Lily asked sleepily, yawning.

"Hogwarts, it looks like." Severus answered, unrolling the parchment. After a moment of silence, he gasped and dropped the piece of parchment. He picked it up with shaking hands, reading it once more with disbelieving eyes.

"Sev, what is it?" Lily asked, concerned. Severus looked at her with shock written across his face.

He walked over to her side of the bed, wrapping his arms around her before he spoke.

"God... Lily, your Papa... He's dead."

Some say love it is a river

That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger

An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking

That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,

Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

And the night has been too lonely

And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter

Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes a rose*
*LeAnn Rimes, The Rose

*

Chapter Sixteen, Part Two: Apple Of Your Eyes

Draco was met at Platform 9 & 3/4 by his nurse, Marion; a short, slim woman in her late 50's that had taken care of him for his entire life. He hated her.

"How was your school year, dear?" Marion asked as the two stepped into the limousine provided for him. Draco sat down as far away from the woman as he possibly could.

"Same as always." He replied, gazing out at the crowded London streets. "Why didn't Mother come?"

He didn't know why he bothered asking; she never came. Marion always picked him up from the Hogwarts Express, it was a given. Not that Narcissa was a bad mother; she just didn't want to leave the safety and security of the Malfoy Manor.

"She was entertaining a guest." Marion answered, ringing her hands nervously.

"Really?" Draco asked, surprised. "And whom might the lucky man be?"

"Why do you assume her guest is a man?" Marion asked.

Draco smirked, "In all the years I've been alive, Marion, I can not once remember a time she had a female friend over for dinner or any other occasion, alone. Never. Possibly with a husband, or at a party, but never alone."

"Keen observation, young Malfoy." Marion nodded, "Your father would be proud."

"Don't you dare mention that bastard in my presence!" Draco exploded, glaring at the woman. She was used to his outbursts, he knew his yelling wouldn't effect her in any way.

"Draco, it's been fourteen years. Let it be." Marion murmured as she attempted to pat the boy's knee. Draco hissed as he drew his legs closer to him, his icy blue eyes glaring at the woman.

"Don't touch me."

Marion chuckled as she drew her hand back, "My, aren't we a bit testy this afternoon?"

"'We', Marion, are not anything." Draco snapped just as the vehicle lurched ahead quickly. Turning around and facing the driver, he sneered. "What the bloody hell was that?"

Not bothering to wait for an answer, he turned back around and took to gazing out the window for the rest of the journey, ignoring any questions from Marion.

The limousine stopped in front of the Manor Gates and the driver unloaded Draco's trunk as he walked briskly up the walkway, knocking on the heavy oak doors three times.

He stepped back as the doors were pulled open by an assortment of house elves, revealing an empty foyer. Not expecting anything else, Draco stepped in as three house elves ran out to assist Marion with his trunk. He walked into the parlor and then the living room, expecting to see his mother sitting there with whichever guest she had over. However, both the parlor and living room was empty, much to Draco's surprise.

"Marion!" Draco bellowed, "Where is my mother?"

Marion came into the room, Draco's cloak folded onto her right arm. "She's upstairs, I believe. Shall I alert her that you've arrived?"

"I can do it myself." Draco insisted, brushing past the woman in his unexplained urgency to see his mother. Taking the steps two at a time, he came to the cream coloured door leading into Narcissa's room. He knocked firmly, waiting for the door to open.

He heard the lock undo with a click, and before he could react to the opening doors, he was smothered.

"Mum!" he exclaimed, struggling against her embrace, "I need to breathe!"

Narcissa gradually let go of her son, her long blonde hair falling into her face. "When did you get home? I didn't hear you come in."

"A few minute ago." Draco gasped, still trying to catch his breath. "Marion said someone was here. Who is it?"

Narcissa grinned broadly and stepped back, exposing the man behind her. "Draco, you've met Mr. Lupin, haven't you?"

Draco's eyes widened with surprise. "Professor Lupin?"

Remus nodded, stepping forward and extending his hand. "It's good to see you again, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco took his hand politely, shaking it firmly. "Not to be blunt, but what are you doing here?"

"Mr. Lupin and I go way back, Draco." Narcissa explained, "We ran into Diagon Alley a few months ago and I've invited him over quite a few times."

Draco nodded curtly, "Mother, may I please speak to you alone for a moment?"

Remus stepped out of the room as Narcissa nodded, and with a meaningful look towards Remus, she closed the door behind her.

"How was your school year, Draco? Remus told me about your little exploit with that Snape boy." Narcissa commented, walking over to a plush armchair and gracefully sitting down.

"I succeeded in making his life hell for quite a few months, Mother." Draco answered snidely, "Which was of course my main point."

Narcissa raised a carefully done eyebrow, "You still do not go around kissing members of the same gender in front of the whole school, Draco."

"And you, mother. I would expect more from you than a werewolf."

"What is that supposed to mean, young man?" Narcissa snapped.

"You and Professor Lupin -- he's the first of your 'guests' to ever come into the room you shared with my father. I'm sure that means something, yes?" Draco shot back, crossing his arms.

"Remus and I are dating, yes." Narcissa admitted, avoiding her son's glare, "But the fact that I was married once before shouldn't stop me from being able to have a life, Draco."

"I know Professor Lupin, Mum. I know he's a good man -- as good as a Gryffindor werewolf can get." Draco spat out. "However, I would have thought my father meant more to you than that."

"Lucius is dead, Draco." Narcissa sighed, "Get it through your head. If he's not physically dead by now, he's mentally dead and has been for nearly ten years now."

"That doesn't mean you have the right to go around and make a fool of yourself with other men!" Draco exclaimed.

"Look who's talking. I didn't go up and kiss the Boy Who Lived, now, did I?" Narcissa growled.

"His name's Harry, Mum." Draco muttered through clenched teeth.

"Fancy him, do you?" Narcissa smirked. "I would have never thought the son of Lucius Malfoy would end up a queer."

"I am NOT queer!" Draco yelled, balling his hands in fists of rage. "It was a joke, Mother, nothing more. I do not FANCY that scum.... The scum that took my father and YOUR husband away. Never."

"What's your problem, Draco?" Narcissa sighed. "Or are you just looking to argue?"

Draco shook his head, "I don't have a problem with Professor Lupin, Mother. I have a problem with the fact you have refused to acknowledge my father's existence for the better part of my entire life. I have a problem with the fact you expect me to accept any play toy of yours that comes walking through that door, no questions asked."

"I don't expect you to accept Remus-" Narcissa started before Draco interrupted her.

"I know Professor Lupin, Mother. I do not have a problem with him." Draco growled, crossing his arms.

"And I wish to forget your father, Draco. He was a bastard. That is why I rarely mention him." Narcissa said quietly. "The only good thing he ever did in his entire life is give me you."

Draco sighed as silence filled the room. "Is it serious?"

"Yes, it's serious." Narcissa answered.

"Do you love him?"

Narcissa paused before she answered. "I love him more than I ever loved Lucius."

"I suppose that's not saying a lot, now, is it?" Draco grumbled, "Are you two getting married?"

Narcissa smiled, "No, Draco. Do you see a ring on my finger?"

Draco smiled a bit, "As long as you don't marry the poor man... He has enough to deal with already."

When you're lost

I am found
When you slip
I hold my ground
When I fall
Please take a bow
And when you're up
Just remember I am down

People looking for

Fortune and fame
They don't know
That it's all the same
It's like any other game
You know there's a loser
But it's all right

When you feel your heart is breaking

When all your friends are faking
When it's giving and no taking
I will be by your side

I've been over the hill and back

Survived every kind of attack
It's been a few years at that
As a matter of fact

Good luck is just good luck

You don't go hungry if you got pot luck
I've been down
But never on my knees
I see the forest for the trees

When you feel your heart is breaking

When all your friends are faking
When it's giving and no taking
I will be by your side

When you feel your heart is breaking

When all your friends are faking
When its giving and no taking
I will be by your side*
*The Black Crowes, By Your Side

*

Chapter Sixteen, Part Three: All Alone

Thoughts ran through her mind at an alarming speed; even Severus could not understand them. Her body tensed up as disbelief flooded her mind.

"He -- what?" Lily asked Severus, breaking away from his grip to look up at him. "Impossible."

"Lily, love, I'm so sorry..." Severus handed her the letter and he could hear her pronounce each word in her head slowly.

Dear Severus and Lily,

I'm sorry to inform you that Albus Dumbledore passed away just a few short hours ago, due to his high age. The cause of death has been deemed natural causes. As Lily is his next of kin, I have been asked to discuss arrangements with you. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, and I am sure we will all miss him.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Lily set the parchment down with shaking hands. "She's lying."

"Lily... Come here." Severus wrapped his arms around her once more, "He was old... He was tired. He lived his life. Even magic can not prevent death, love. You know that."

"It's impossible!" Lily sobbed quietly, finally giving in and burying her head into Severus' shoulder. "He's Papa! He can't die!"

"I'm so sorry, love." Severus sighed, hugging her tighter.

After what seemed like an hour, Lily looked up at her husband, her green eyes full of tears. "He knew. He knew and he wouldn't tell me..."

"Knew what, Lily?" Severus asked, stroking her hair softly.

"He knew... about everything... about the twins..."

Severus shook his head and Lily buried her face in his shoulder once more. "Lily, love, this is no time to be thinking about such things... Here, lay down with me, you'll be more comfortable."

Lily obliged and curled into a ball the best she could, laying her head on Severus' chest. "Why, Sev? He's gone... This is it. It's just us now. Mum and Dad have been gone for how many years? Seven, now? And..."

"And I've never had any proper parenting to speak of, even if the bastard's still alive." Severus growled at the memory of his father.

"We're alone..." Lily sobbed quietly, "He's gone..."

Severus kissed her forehead gently as he willed himself not to let the tears forming in his eyes get the better of him. "Lily, love, it'll be ok..."

"No it won't..." Lily sniffed, "It's never going to be the same... He's gone."

Severus sighed, pulling her as close to him as possible. "We still have each other and the children. We'll live through this... you'll live through this."

"He's gone..." Lily whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and then blinking. "He's really gone. He's dead."

"He's only gone in body, not spirit." Severus said quietly, rubbing her back gently. "You know he wouldn't want to cry over him. He's always going to be with you, love. He's watching over you, just like your Mum and Dad..."

"You promise?" Lily sniffed, gripping the cloth of Severus' shirt tightly.

"Yes, love." Severus sighed, kissing the top of her head as she closed her eyes.

The next morning, Lily awoke to the sunlight streaming through the windows and the babies kicking the inside of her stomach softly. Forgetting why it felt as if a lead weight had settled itself inside of her, she prodded Severus gently and took his left hand, placing it on the exact spot the little feet were moving.

"Sev..." Lily whispered in his ear, "Wake up."

He smiled before opening his eyes; as he did, his smile faded as the events of the night prior came rushing back to him.

"They're kicking." Lily said softly, her green eyes lighting up.

"'Morning, love." Severus said gently, "How are you feeling?"

It was as if a tidal wave had come crashing into her; the letter, the hours spent crying softly, unable to sleep...

"It wasn't a dream?" she asked timidly.

Severus shook his head, snaking his arms around her. "No, baby. It wasn't."

Lily breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. After a moment, she opened them once more, fighting back the tears. "Can you tell the children for me?"

"Of course." Severus whispered. "Are you going to be ok?"

Lily nodded slightly. "I want to write Professor McGonagall back... She told me to... I have to."

"Ok." Severus nodded, kissing her lightly. "I'm going to get up now... Will you be all right on your own, or do you want me to stay here?"

"I'll be ok." Lily said, moving herself into the warm indent in the mattress after Severus stood up. "I'm just going to lay here for a while... I'll be ok."

Severus smiled weakly and nodded, running his hand down her arm. He quickly dressed and left the room, leaving Lily, who was silently crying once more.

After what seemed like eternity, she shakily stood up and dressed herself, not bothering to look in the full length mirror standing on the wall across from the bed. She backed out of the room, looking through the sunlight-ridden windows until she reached the door.

Walking down the hall and stairs seemed to take forever; each step was harder and more intense than the step before it. She slowly made her way to the sitting room, where Severus had gathered all the children. The room was silent; he had just finished explaining to Drake and Dakota why their grandfather would never be coming back.

She was met with seven pairs of eyes starring up at her and she entered the room. She met only Harry's, seeing his own green eyes red and his skin pale.

This can't be happening.

It is, love.

Why? Look at them... They don't understand.

Harry and Ethan do, love.

The rest... Drake, Dakota, they don't even know the meaning of the word.

They understand now, Lily.

But why?

Sit next to me... Yes, now, look at them.

They're crying.

And looking at us for support.

I can't give it to them now.

You must, love.

But why?

You're their mother... They love you... They're counting on you and I to be strong.

I can't be strong.

Lily, love, listen to me. Be strong for them... As long as the sun's up, be strong. But when the moon comes up, I'll be strong for you. You don't have to be... ok?

Sev...

Please, Lily. Look at them... You have to be.

Lily sighed as Severus wrapped his arm around her shoulders, her eyes gazing at each child in turn. Dakota was too young to grasp the concept and was only feeding off of her sibling's pain. Drake understood as much as any six year old child might. Dea was feeding off of Kaylee's emotions; depression and the anger that was starting to settle in to the ten-year-olds body.

Ethan looked as if he had been bawling; his eyes were red and swollen and tears were stilling making their way down his red cheeks. He was wringing his hands nervously, yet starring off into space.

Harry had been crying, Lily could tell. His eyes were rimmed with red and she could just make out the tiny trail of tears that had rolled down his cheeks. However, he had stopped now, and he was surveying his parents with a sympathy.

"I'm sorry, guys." Lily said softly, looking down at her hands. "Professor McGonagall said it was painless... He died in his sleep. He didn't feel any pain, ok?"

Lily, love, you don't know that.

It will make them feel better.

What good is lying to them going to do?

We don't know it's a lie.

Severus sighed once more as the family all looked at each other, all fighting an internal battle between their minds and their hearts. Knowing that this was what was left; there was no Papa to look up to now, it was just them.

Do you still remember, how we used to be

Feeling together, believe in whatever
My love has said to me

Both of us were dreamers, Young love in the sun

Felt like my saviour, My spirit I gave you
We'd only just begun

Hasta Manana, Always be mine

Viva Forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, Like the sun
Live Forever, for the moment
Ever searching, for the one

Yes I still remember, every whispered word

The touch of your skin, giving life from within
Like a love song that I've heard

Slipping through our fingers, like the sands of time

Promises made, every memory saved
Has reflections in my mind
Hasta Manana, always be mine

Viva Forever, I'll be waiting

Everlasting, Like the sun
Live Forever, For the moment
Ever searching, for the one

But we're all alone, was it just a dream

Feelings untold, They will never be sold
And the secrets safe with me
Hasta Manana, always be mine

Viva Forever, I'll be waiting

Everlasting, Like the sun
Live Forever, for the moment
Ever searching, for the one*
*Spice Girls, Viva Forever

*

Chapter Sixteen, Part Four: Lonely Street Of Dreams

"So what do you think?"

It was mid-July; Lily was due in two months and Remus hadn't seen her for five. However, his attitude was bordering on glee, not fear or anger. He had been seeing Narcissa for four months now, and Draco had accepted the fact without any problems. It was more than he could hope for.

"Don't you find any of this the least bit strange?" Sirius asked calmly one night, as the two sat down for dinner.

"Of course," Remus replied. "All of the time."

Sirius shook his head, "You never were one to back down... Have you spoken to Lily lately?"

Remus shook his head, "No, I haven't. I don't suppose I should?"

"Yes, you should. See how she's doing and all." Sirius stuck a forkful of food in his mouth before continuing. "Although I'm sure Severus is taking perfect care of her."

Remus smirked and shook his head, "As always. She's his obsession."

"I suppose it's better than Severus hating her."

"And if Severus hated her, why would they be married?"

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose... Then you'd be able to move in."

Remus shook his head, "No, I have Narcissa."

"Then I would." Sirius smirked, looking up at his friend. "You wouldn't mind, would you?"

Remus laughed; "Of course not, Padfoot."

Sirius grinned and threw his arms up in the air, "The lily is MINE!"

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." Remus smirked, "Severus isn't going to hate Lily in a million years... He's far too forgiving."

Sirius shook his head, "She's his weakness."

"His kryptonite."

Sirius gave Remus a blank look. "Pardon?"

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, "Don't tell me you've never heard of Superman!"

Sirius tilted his head in a bemused sort of way. "Can't say that I have."

Remus sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Sirius, Sirius, Sirius... what am I ever going to do with you?"

"Feed me to the dogs, I suppose." Sirius gave his a crooked grin. "Although... If they're female, I can assure you I wouldn't mind."

Remus shook his head, disgusted. "You wouldn't, would you?"

"Ol' Padfoot still has a few tricks up his sleeves." Sirius grinned, taking another bite of his meal.

"I suppose you do." Remus laughed.

The next few minutes passed in silence before Sirius dared to ask a question that had been bothering him ever since he had first found out about Remus' and Narcissa's escapades.

"Does she know you're a werewolf?" he asked softly, daring to look up and meet his best friend's amber eyes.

"Of course not." Remus answered, "And I'd like to keep it that way, if you please."

Sirius was silent for a moment. "When are you planning on telling her?"

Remus shrugged, "Whenever the timing seems right."

"You need to let her know, Mooney."

"I know. I will."

"Soon." Sirius said firmly. "Or else, when you do tell her, it'll turn into a disaster."

Remus looked up at Sirius, "Yes, I'm quite aware of that."

"I know you are, Mooney." Sirius said quietly, "Just remind yourself."

Silence filled the room once more. Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair once he was finished, looking at Remus with curious eyes.

"So how do you really feel about Lily?"

Remus looked up from his plate, eyebrows raised. "How do you think I feel?"

"Confused. Lost, maybe. Angry, either at yourself or Severus for claiming her before you had the chance."

"She wasn't some property to claim." Remus growled slightly.

"So you do admit you still have feelings for her."

"Of course!" Remus exclaimed. "As much as you and James liked to think I wasn't, I had never been in that -- serious -- of a relationship before."

Sirius nearly choked. "You were a virgin?!"

"I'm a god damned werewolf, Sirius. What do you think?"

Sirius shook his head, "That really shouldn't matter."

"It does." Remus said firmly. "Narcissa... I don't know. She's the first woman I've been able to get close to in years. Even then, I'm afraid of what she may do if she ever found out. My whole god damned life revolves around the one time a month I turn into a monster... Lily was the first person I ever slept with and the first human I had ever bitten. How do you think I feel?"

Sirius was quiet, thoughts running through his mind. He sighed before he spoke, his voice trembling a bit.

"Mad as bloody hell."

"At myself, for doing that to her."

"And Severus, for keeping her away from you."

"He's had every right to."

"You two are FRIENDS, Mooney. He has no right to control Lily's life."

"He's not... If she wanted to see me, she would."

"Even if she doesn't want to face you at the moment, I know for a fact you want to see her."

"Well," Remus spat bitterly, "We don't always get what we want, now, do we?"

"You have to at least try." Sirius said. "You shouldn't give up."

It was Remus' turn to be silent, his voice barely above a whisper when he finally spoke.

"Do you know how I felt when you and James found out?"

It was an unspoken rule between them; never say the traitor's name, never acknowledge the fact he had lived as one of them for so long.

"No, I don't." Sirius spoke just as quietly as Remus had.

"I didn't know whether to be thankful I finally had friends or terrified you would all come to your senses and kick me to the curb. I wanted to fly, I was so happy... yet at the same time, I was torturing myself with 'what if?'s , asking myself what if it was all a ploy to somehow kill me and such. I was so scared you two would tell the rest of the school... I was torn between the first true happiness I had ever felt and the usual chains of terror that were always with me."

"But we stayed with you." Sirius said quietly, "You should stay with her. You're the only one she knows of that goes through the same things each time... Severus may be her husband, but you're the person she needs right now. The full moon's come and gone five times now... Soon to be six. She's just as scared as you are, possibly more."

"She doesn't need me." Remus shook his head.

"Damnit Mooney, listen to me! She needs her friends right now more than anything... You, me... We're the only ones that know the real story behind all of this madness. She needs someone to talk to, you know that. Especially with Dumbledore gone..." Sirius sighed, shaking his head, "It hit her hard, you know that. She needs us."

Remus eyed his friend, "Fine. I'll owl her later, see if she wants to speak with us."

"With you." Sirius corrected. "The 'us' comes later."

"Fine." Remus shook his head, "I'll kill you if she rejects me."

"She won't." Sirius said confidently. "If she does, I'll try to talk some sense into her. If Severus replies, the motion to kill me doesn't stand. Got that?"

Remus smiled a bit, "Yes, Padfoot."

"Much better."

"Much better what?"

"You weren't smiling."

"Glad to know you're so concerned for my well being."

"Always, Mooney."

"I'm sure."

I don't know where I'm going

But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in the songs of yesterday
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again
Here I go again

Though I keep searching for an answer

I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own

Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

I'm just another heart in need of rescue

Waiting on love's sweet charity
And I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own

Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go

And I've made up my mind

I ain't wasting no more time

'Cos I know what it means

To walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own

Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

Here I go again on my own

Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams...*
*Whitesnake, Here I Go Again
(Ok, how goshdarn perfect is this song for Remus? If you didn't read the lyrics, go back and do so NOW. They're perfect, I swear... and I love this song, which is an extra littke 'omph'. :o) )

*

Chapter Sixteen, Part Five: Soundtrack To Life

(A/N: Pardon the idioticy of this chapter, please... :o) )

Within a week, Lily had agreed to meet Remus at the Leaky Cauldron, away from Severus, Sirius, and the children. At first glance, the two had instinctively looked away, both reminded of the events that had taken place between them.

"Lily, can we talk somewhere more private?" Remus asked quietly as he approached the table she was sitting at, surveying the crowd around them. Lily nodded silently and got up, leading him to a private parlor, complete with three sofas and a glass table in the middle.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Lily asked quietly, looking up at the man with tired eyes.

"I wanted to know how you were doing." Remus admitted, eyeing her swollen belly. "How far along are you?"

He didn't need to ask; he knew, down to the day.

"Nearly eight months."

Remus smiled, "Wow."

Lily smiled back, "Yeah, really." A moment later, her eyes widened in surprise as a true smile passed over her face. She grabbed Remus' hand and placed it on her swollen belly, looking up expectantly for his reaction.

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he felt the babies kick. "What are they doing?"

Lily grinned; "They like you."

Remus' expression relaxed as he smiled. "They do?"

"Only person they've done this for is...." Her voice faltered.

"Severus?" Remus asked gently. Lily looked up at him and nodded. "How is he, by the way?"

"He's good." Lily replied, her eyes slightly downcast. "He loves being home."

"I can imagine." Remus smiled warmly. "And how are the Full Moons going?"

Lily sighed. "They still hurt."

"They always will." Remus said quietly, "The pain's always there. After thirty years, I like to think I've become immune, but that's not true... Not true at all."

Lily sighed, looking slightly deflated. Looking up at him once more, she spoke. "Remus, I have something to tell you."

"And I have something to ask of you." Remus said in return. "But you first."

"No, go ahead." Lily insisted.

"Can we still be friends? This silence between us... It's unbearable." Remus admitted.

Lily's face broke out into a smile. "Of course we can."

Remus grinned back, "Good, because I've missed you."

Standing up in front of her, he cleared his throat.

(Somewhere, off stage, the sound of music can be heard.)

"Must be the pull of the full moon that makes me feel so strange...I haven't been myself of late, I feel a bit deranged..."

The sound of Remus singing startled Lily, before she looked off at the director, who was smiling contently.

"Hello, why has the werewolf suddenly started singing?" Lily asked. The director just shrugged, and then started dancing with the lighting director.

"Must be the lure of the planets that makes me feel unhinged... Is that the cry of the Pleiades way out upon the fringe?"

Remus jumped up on to the table, continuing. Meanwhile, Lily started to bob her feet up and down in time to the music.

"Must be a vagrant moon... tossed like a lost balloon. The moon is on the rise. These aren't tears, it's moonlight in my eyes..."

Remus offered his hand to the woman, a grin on his face. Blushing, Lily accepted and hopped up on the table, and then started dancing with Remus, singing along.

"I think it's all such a mystery, I have a difficult history. I took a terrible fall you see... It's really nothing at all to me.... But on a night like tonight, and with the stars in my eyes, I could get lost in the undertow..."

Suddenly, the whole cast came out of their dressing rooms and watched with amazed looks at the two werewolves dancing on the table together. Both Severus and Narcissa rush forward, before a surely looking man stops them.

"Still many people surmise... That it's the pull of the full moon that trips you up when you fall. Still, I can say with some certainty... but no, I don't recall."

With the ending of the song, the two looked at each other, slightly flustered, the stepped off the table, Remus helping Lily. The crew and cast retreat back to their positions as filming continues.

"You have no idea how dreadful it is to be stuck in a house with six children twenty four hours a day in July... I could use a friend." Lily smiled. Silence once again fills the air, but this time, it's a comfortable silence.

"So what is it you wanted to tell me?" Remus asked, looking up at his once-again friend.

"I..." Lily's voice faltered once more. "I'm sorry."

Remus looked surprised. "What are you sorry for? None of this is your fault."

"Yes, it is." Lily looked up at him this time. "I made you do it."

Remus was now looking startled; "Pardon?"

"I... You know I can read minds, right?"

"No, I didn't." Remus was now wearing an expression of a deer caught in the headlights.

"I'm not right now, don't worry." Lily smiled. "But... Along with that comes controlling someone."

She allowed this to sink in before she continued. "I... Severus asked to see that... time... and I showed him... We can do that, transfer memories and such... He told me I was controlling you... You couldn't help it. I didn't know I was, I'm so sorry!"

Remus shook his head, "That explains a lot, actually."

"Are you mad?" Lily said quietly, looking down at her hands. "Do you hate me?"

"Hate you?" Remus asked, surprised. "Of course not! I'm sure you didn't want me to do that..."

"Yes, I did. Subconciously, though... I didn't want all of this to happen, but I guess a part of my mind did." Lily admitted. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." Remus said quietly, "I don't blame you."

"You should." Lily said, "You biting me... That was my fault, too. I should have just Apparated from your house."

"Mistakes happen." Remus said. "You really couldn't help it."

Lily sighed. "No matter what happens, though... You're still my best friend."

Remus smiled, "Even over Severus?"

Lily blanched. "Severus is an excellent husband... he's excellent with the children, an excellent father, and excellent in bed, but he's not too friendly when we're not alone. I can talk to him and such about anything, really, but it's nice to have someone else to bounce ideas off of."

Remus smiled, "Friends then?" He stuck out his hand.

Lily smiled back and took his hand in her own pale one. "Friends."

Sev, love... I'm home.

Lily arrived back at the mansion an hour later, after having one of the best conversations of her life.

I'm in the bedroom... How did it go?

It went much better than I expected.

Well, that's good. Did you tell him?

Yes.

And what did he say?

He immediately started making excuses.

Sounds just like him.

Lily opened the door and found Severus sprawled out across the bed, eyes close and shirtless.

My, my... What do we have here?

I'm tired.

It's only nine in the evening... It's barely even dusk.

All the children are in bed... Harry and Ethan are in their rooms awake, however.

Lily smiled and walked over to the wall connecting their room to Harry's. Knocking on it slightly, she waited and grinned when she received a knock back. (A/N: I used to do this with my Dad all the time... Still do, actually, but it used to be the wall my bed was up against was by the bathroom wall... 5 AM, each and every morning. But, then I moved... and moved again.)

Mind if I join you?

Of course not... But does this mean I'll have to move, love?

I could sit on you.

Ouch... I'll move.

Lily laughed as Severus rolled over on to his side of the bed, making room for his wife. She quickly changed into an extra large, long shirt and climbed in next to him, not bothering with blankets.

No shorts tonight?

No shorts for the past month... Don't fit.

So sorry, love.

It's not your fault.

Yes, it is.

Well... ok... it is. But you're suffering.

No sex for seven months now! How's a man supposed to survive?

Like he did before he met the girl of his dreams.

I haven't met Princess Diana yet, love.

Lily proceeded to take a pillow and whack him in the stomach as hard as she could. He laughed and poked her in the sides gently, making her squirm.

You're still the most sensitive creature I've ever slept with, love.

I should hope so.

I even threaten to tickle you...

Don't you dare. You'll be sleeping on the couch in the living room for a week.

Not that it would make much difference...

Shush.

You know I'm teasing you, love.

Lily smiled as Severus wrapped his around her, allowing her to rest her head under his chin. He kissed the top of her head lightly, his left palm rested against her swollen stomach.

Only a month more.

Then a pair of screaming babies.

Now, really, love. Only Ethan and Kaylee screamed loudly.

You didn't have to live with Harry until he was past the 'screaming loudly' phase.

True.

Yes... Very true.

Lily caught a jumble of thoughts not directed towards her, but before she could catch them, they disappeared, lost in Severus' mind.

Ever wonder how things would be if we never got together?

I'd be dead, for one.

Why do you say that, love?

I would have allowed Voldemort to kill me, protecting Harry. Without you, he... he's my life. They're all our children, I love them each dearly, but... I don't want to say I love him more, but I love him in such a way that tends to surpass the other children.

You trust him more.

Yes...

It's understandable. He's your first-born, the one you experienced so much with... He has a different father.

That doesn't matter, Sev.

Yes, I know, love.

Life would be horrible without you.

And I can say the same for you, love.

My life's been absolutely perfect with you.

(The candles dim and music starts from some unknown place.)

Now, love... listen. I've had the time of my life...

Sev? Baby, why are you singing?

Just listen and sing along, love... No I never felt like this before ...yes I swear it's the truth... And I owe it all to you ...

'Cause I've had the time of my life ... And I owe it all to you...

That was lovely, dear... I've been waiting for so long ... now I've finally found someone ... to stand by me...

Thank you, Sev... We saw the writing on the wall ...as we felt this magical ... Fantasy....

Together now, love...

Now with passion in our eyes there's no way we could disguise it secretly... so we take each other's hand 'cause we seem to understand the urgency...

Yes, love... You're getting the hang of it... Just remember...

You're the one thing ...

I can't get enough of ...

So I'll tell you something... Together now...

This could be love because I've had the time of my life... No I never felt this way before... Yes I swear, it's the truth... And I owe it all to you...

How am I doing, Sev? With my body and soul ...I want you more than you'll ever know ...

Wonderful, love...So we'll just let it go.. Don't be afraid to lose control, no.

Yes I know what's on your mind ... When you say, "Stay with me tonight"...

Just remember you're the one thing... Lily, love.

I can't get enough of... Sev.

So I'll tell you something... Together now...

This could be love because I've had the time of my life... No I never felt this way before... Yes I swear, it's the truth... And I owe it all to you...

That was wonderful, love.

Was it?

Yes, now we have to finish the song.

It's not over yet?

It's quite a long one, love...

Now I've had the time of my life, no I never felt this way before... Yes I swear it's the truth... And I owe it all to you

You're doing great, love... I've had the time of my life ...No I never felt this way before ...Yes I swear it's the truth ...And I owe it all to you.... Now with me, Lil.

'Cause I've had the time of my life... And I've searched though every open door ... Till I found the truth ... And I owe it all to you....

That was gorgeous, love.

Thank you Sev... Now, please, can we get some sleep?

As you wish.

Narcissa awoke two days later to a pair of amber eyes starring at her. She smiled and relaxed, the events of the night before rushing back.

"Good morning." She greeted the man next to her.

"And what a wonderful morning it is." Remus smiled for a moment, but then a serious expression took over his face. "'Cissa, I have something to tell you."

Blinking, she nodded for him to continue.

"Has Draco ever mentioned something... strange about me?" Remus asked, his eyes glued on Narcissa. She shook her head after racking her brain for memories.

"No, I can't think of anything." She admitted.

Remus sighed, "'Cissa, don't hate me... promise you won't hate me."

Narcissa was immediately alarmed at his behavior; "Of course, Remus! I could never hate you... You know that."

Remus shook his head, "I've been keeping something from you... You need to know this, I trust you enough to tell you this. I've never told anyone... Everyone who knows, which is an extremely small amount of people, has figured it out after years of observations."

"I promise I won't hate you... I can't hate you." Narcissa said, moving herself closer to him.

"'Cissa..." Remus sighed, "I'm a werewolf."

Narcissa's blue eyes widened with surprise, but her expression quickly changed from that of surprise to relief.

"Is that all, dear?" she asked, a bemused look on her face. "I thought you were going to tell me you have a wife and three children running around somewhere."

Remus was shocked. "You mean... You don't mind?"

"I do mind that you didn't tell me this sooner... But I'm not Lucius, Remus. I don't mind at all. You obviously can't help it." Narcissa smiled.

Remus closed his eyes and grinned. Opening them once more, he kissed her forehead and sighed.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you... Cuz I know that you feel me somehow... You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be... And I don't want to go home right now."

"That's so sweet!" Narcissa grinned, leaning back on the pillows.

"And all I can taste is this moment... And all I can breathe is your life... Cuz sooner or later it's over... I just don't want to miss you tonight."

"It'll never be over."

"And I don't want the world to see me... Cuz I don't think that they'd understand... When everything's made to be broken... I just want you to know who I am."

"I'm glad you told me..."

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming... Or the moment of truth in your lies... When everything feels like the movies... Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive... And I don't want the world to see me... Cuz I don't think that they'd understand... When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am..."

"I know who you are now." Narcissa grinned and joined him, singing a song that wouldn't be written for a good two years.

"And I don't want the world to see me... Cuz I don't think that they'd understand... When everything's made to be broken... I just want you to know who I am... I just want you to know who I am... I just want you to know who I am... I just want you to know who I am..."

Remus turned around and rummaged through his robes before turning back around, a schoolboy grin pasted on to his face. Kissing Narcissa on the cheek, he revealed a velvet black box.

Narcissa gasped as he opened it; a gold band with diamonds the size of large pebbles was exposed.

"'Cissa... I love you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Narcissa exclaimed, throwing her arms around Remus' neck after he had placed the band on her left ring finger. "Yes! Oh God, Remus... I love you too."

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me

And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close

But so far all I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day
And the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do

I'll be dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Corazon

I can't stop dreaming of you
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
I can't stop dreaming
Como te necesito
I can't stop dreaming of you
Mi amor, como te extrano

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
That you came up to me and said, "I love you"
I love you too

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight

Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming of you endlessly

Dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Endlessly
And I'll be holding you tight
Dreaming...with you...tonight*

*Selena, Dreaming Of You

(A/N: Thank you SEEKER and Trepidatio for helping me with this one...)

(Full Moon, Lisa Vroman - Unknown Show)

(Time Of My Life, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes - Dirty Dancing)
(Iris, Goo Goo Dolls - City Of Angels)