Least Likely Of All

Chapter Fifteen, Parts 71 - 75

Chapter Fifteen, Part One: Dancing With Wolves (The First Time)

The half moon was waxing; with each passing night, Lily grew increasingly nervous and bitter. She began to spend more time around Severus, even following him to his classes and observing.

The week before the full moon, Severus brewed the Wolfsbane potion for her. Her first taste left her heaving in the middle of the room, but she soon learned to bear the disgusting, boiling liquid.

During the day of the full moon, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Lily was constantly jumping at the slightest noises, while Severus snapped at anyone within ten feet, including his own children. Dumbledore met with Lily during lunch, checking up to see how she was doing.

"Sev, I'm scared." She admitted as he locked the portrait hole, then walked over to where she stood, in front of the window.

"I know, love." Severus sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "It's only for one night though."

"It's going to hurt." Lily said quietly, "I'm sure of it."

Severus nodded slightly, "Yes, Remus did often comment on the pain. However, the potion will dull the pain, and I'll be right here with you."

"I know." Lily sighed as she leaned back into Severus. "The sunset's beautiful."

"Yes, it is." Severus said quietly. "Although I prefer the sunrise."

"But you're never awake to see the sunrise!" Lily exclaimed softly, "I always wake up before you."

"Yes, but the sunrise means new chances, new hope. A fresh start."

"And the sunset means you've lived through another day." Lily finished.

"Yes." Severus said, kissing the top of her head. "I'm going to be right here, nothing's going to happen to you."

"What if the potion didn't work?" Lily asked quietly.

"I brewed it as exact as humanly possible; perhaps more than humanly possible. I can guarantee you it will work. If I wasn't positive, I wouldn't be in here with you." Severus insisted.

Lily was silent for a minute. "I never thought I'd be so nervous about seeing the moon."

"You won't, love." Severus said, "I'm going to close the windows once the transformation takes place."

"Why?" Lily asked, "It won't make any difference."

"Are you sure?" Severus asked, "I wouldn't want to make you more uncomfortable."

"Who knows?" Lily smiled, "Maybe I'll like being a wolf."

"I must admit, it would be nice to be able to turn into a creature as powerful as a wolf." Severus sighed, "Perhaps not being forced to, but on any other occasion."

"I hear you." Lily nodded, "But maybe the moon will be relaxing. I'll tell you if I want it shut."

"And how do you plan on telling me?" Severus asked, a bemused expression on his face.

Lily grinned, "I'll find some way."

The sun slowly set over the horizon, disappearing into the Forbidden Forest. The dark blue sky was streaked with pink, orange, and finally purple, the colours reflecting off the clouds lingering in the sky. Severus and Lily stood there watching until Lily started trembling and couldn't stand up any longer.

As the last strip of pink gave into the dark blanket of stars, Lily's body started making involuntary movements, her limbs thrashing out. Finally, she bent her head over and screamed as loud as she could.

What Severus saw next would stay with him forever; her bones started moving beneath her skin and he heard many of them crack to work into their true form. Lily hurriedly threw off her robes, leaving her naked on the bed.

She screamed once more; gray and white fur sprang up over her body, her face elongated and her nose turned into a black snout. Her hands and feet turned into paws, her legs into powerful hindquarters. From her tailbone came a real tail, covered in fur.

Her screams ceased in less than ten seconds; she finally dared to look up. Her human body had turned into a wolf body, with few exceptions werewolves possessed. Instead of her human voice, a whine came from her throat as she tried to speak.

Severus stood with his mouth agape. He slowly walked to the bed where Lily's wolf body now lay. Lily whined once more, looking up at Severus.

"Oh God, Lily..." Severus said softly. "Are you ok?"

As strange as it looked, the wolf nodded. Standing up, she jumped off the bed and went up to Severus' hand, then started licking it.

"What am I going to do with you?" Severus shook his head, "At least the potion worked.

Sev? Can you hear me?

Severus looked down at the wolf in surprised.

Lily?

It works!

Severus could almost see the happiness protruding out of the wolf's features.

Yes, love. It did work. Are you ok?

I'm fine, Sev.

How does it feel?

Nice, almost. Like it's second nature.

Did it hurt?

Imagine all of your bones breaking at once, then mending in an abrupt way. Then think of your muscles stretching, your limbs shrinking, and sharp teeth cutting through your tongue and gums.

I'm sorry, love.

You have nothing to be sorry for, Sev. If this is how it feels with the potion, I'm terrified to find out how it feels without.

Ask Remus; I'm sure he'll tell you.

Yes, I'm sure he would.

Suddenly, the wolf laid down and rolled over onto her back.

Can you feel the babies?

Surprised, Severus touched the wolf's stomach cautiously.

Yes, much better than when you're in your... err... human form.

Amazing, isn't it?

Aren't you scared?

Terrified out of my wits, love.

Severus watched as the wolf rolled back over and jumped up next to him. He smiled and automatically started petting her.

Severus, I'm not a dog.

Yes you are, love.

Am not.

Lily, love, the wolf is a species of dog.

I am NOT a bitch!

Severus threw his head back and laughed at the thought.

Literally, dear, you are.

Am not.

Yes, you are Lily. It's not a bad thing, at least from my perspective.

Yes, and you're six feet tall. Meanwhile, I'm -- what? -- two and a half feet tall.

At least it's better than two feet, love.

Point being?

You're a beautiful wolf, Lily. Absolutely gorgeous.

I wish I was pissed.

Well, wouldn't that be interesting? A pissed wolf.

A pissed werewolf, at that.

So now you know what it felt like for Remus all these years.

I feel bad for the poor chap; Thirty years of this is how many times?

Thirty times twelve is three hundred and sixty, love.

Three hundred and sixty? Poor man... That's nearly once every day for a year.

Yes, it would be quite painful, I imagine.

Yes, you, Severus, can only imagine. I can only imagine, because I'm sure you'll never allow me to transform without taking the potion.

You've guessed correctly, love.

You enjoy calling me that, don't you?

What else would I call you, love?

I'm not complaining; I like it.

I know you do, Lily. That's why I call you love.

I don't have anything to call you by, though.

Sev works just fine, Lily.

It feels impersonal though.

No, nobody else calls me Sev.

True.

So it's not impersonal.

After seventeen years, you would think I would have come up with something different.

I like Sev, love.

If you say so, dear.

Dear's a bit too...

Old lady-ish?

Quite, love.

So call me a bitch in heat and

I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

There you go again you cut me off from talking

You bask in the glory
The center of the circle
All our friends think you're a comedian
So kind and generous
But i am suffering

Away from here

I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little, every little thing

Now you call me a bitch in heat and

I call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

You're the puppeteer and i'm the puppet

You manipulate me with your (real) catholic shit
Everytime i try to talk it through
You turn it around and make us out to be
David and Goliath

Away from here

I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little every little thing

Now you call me a bitch in heat and

I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

Your arms beneath me

Your lying inside me
I used to love your every little every little thing
Your eyes blue stars
Your hand in my purse
And now I hate your every little everything all day

Oh momma

I didn't know life was this hard
Oh momma
My innocence has been torn

My inner vision, dulled and darkened

I keep myself away to you
I fuck my sorrow humblely
And throw my crown upon the ground

It's you I hope for

And us I pray for
And me that I believed was wrong
But now my anger is my best friend
Be careful may bite your head off

Liar

So call me a bitch in heat and

I'll you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

So call me a bitch in heat and

I'll you a mother fucker
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

*Paula Cole, Throwing Stones

(Lily...James...Yes.Good.)

*

Chapter Fifteen, Part Two: Mummy Dearest

The first few hours of the Full Moon went by as one would expect; Severus either talked to Lily or read as the wolf attempted to sleep. However, the two had missed dinner, as the sun had set earlier than dinner was served.

Severus heard a knock on the portrait wall, and a moment later opened the door a crack to see who it was. As he opened the door, Dumbledore appeared, his half-moon spectacles attempting to hide the mixture of fear and sorrow present in his eyes.

"Good evening, Severus. May I come in?"

Severus nodded and opened the portrait hole all the way, allowing the Headmaster to step in.

As he laid eyes on the wolf sitting atop the messy bed, Dumbledore sighed.

"Lily, darling... What have you gotten yourself in to?"

Tell him I didn't exactly have a choice now, did I?

Severus chuckled, "She says she didn't exactly have a choice now, did she?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Clever of you to think of such ways of communication. Mind reading, I suppose?"

Severus nodded, "Yes. It's a miracle it works in her state."

"I am sure, if she did not have the Wolfsbane potion running through her system, you would not be able to rationally communicate with her, or perhaps not even at all." Dumbledore said, taking a seat on one of the sofas provided. "How did the transformation go?"

"Relatively painless." Severus said.

Speak for yourself, Sev.

"For me, anyway."

"And for Lily?" Dumbledore asked.

"She says it was agony." Severus answered, looking over at the wolf, who was watching their every move. "And she is not eager to try the transformation without the potion."

Dumbledore chuckled, "Yes, somehow that doesn't surprise me." Turning to the wolf, he held out his hand. "Lily, child, do you like being petted?"

Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life?

"Only on the full moon, love." Severus smiled. "She adores it."

Do not! Sev, come on... Tell him... Please?

Severus grinned waved his hand, motioning for the wolf to come towards them.

God damnit, Sev, do you want to sleep on the couch for the rest of this marriage?

Severus finally laughed, "She doesn't like feeling as if she's a dog."

Dumbledore smiled, "Lily, dear, that's what you are."

So? That doesn't mean I have to be treated as such.

"She says, and I quote, 'So? That doesn't mean I have to be treated as such.'" Severus told the old man.

Dumbledore smiled once more and sat down next to the wolf's form. "You do make a truly beautiful wolf, Lily."

I know.

Severus tried to suppress his laughter as the wolf licked Dumbledore on the side of his face.

Nothing like a little family love, Lily.

Piss off, Sev.

Severus shook her head, "She has quite the temper tonight."

"Does she?" Dumbledore turned back towards the wolf. "Lily, dear, I believe you're going to have to get used to it."

For the rest of my natural life, once a month, you guys are going to be treating me and talking to me like I'm a dog, aren't you?

"Yes, love." Severus smiled and sat on the other side of Lily. "It won't be that bad, will it?"

You're confusing Papa.

Severus turned towards Dumbledore with a sheepish expression on his face. "Sorry, Headmaster."

"That's quite all right, Severus." Dumbledore nodded, "As long as you two aren't saying anything about me."

"If we are, I can assure you it's all good." Severus nodded.

Moments later, a timid knock was heard coming from the portrait hole. Slightly confused, Severus stood up and opened the entrance a crack.

"Harry, what are you doing here this late?" Severus asked his oldest son.

"You and Mum weren't at dinner," Harry said, "And I was wondering where you were."

"Your Mum and I are just having a discussion at the moment." Severus said, turning his head quickly towards the bed where the wolf had hidden under.

"Where is she? I need to ask her something." Harry craned his neck and tried to look around the portrait, but Severus blocked his view.

"She's a bit preoccupied at the moment, Harry." Said Severus.

"This will only take a moment." Harry insisted, "You're fully dressed, so I can't see how preoccupied she could be."

Severus laughed, "Harry, Harry, Harry... What am I ever going to do with you?"

"Feed me to the wolves?" Harry suggested, grinning.

Severus screwed up his face a bit, "Err, no, I don't believe that's quite appropriate."

"Let the boy in, Severus." Dumbledore said quietly. "He has a right to know."

Without allowing Harry to see into the room, Severus turned towards the Headmaster. "Pardon?"

"Allow Harry to come in." Dumbledore insisted, "He should know. It's not right, not allowing your children to be aware."

"Headmaster... But..."

"Severus," Dumbledore warned, "This will only get messier. Harry can keep the secret."

Severus sighed and turned back towards his son, "Harry, what you're about to see not to go past this room, understand?"

Harry nodded, extremely curious. "Yes, Dad."

"Further more, you will let us explain before you make any judgments."

Harry nodded once more.

Bloody hell, Sev. Just let the boy in... He's going to find out sooner or later.

Curse of the Snape Mansion.

Severus slowly opened the door, revealing Dumbledore sitting on the bed. Once Harry stepped inside, Severus quickly shut the portrait, then set his hands on Harry's shoulders.

"Lily, love. Come on out." He said quietly.

A moment later, the wolf came creeping out from under the bed. Severus could feel Harry's shoulders tense up as he strained against his father's grip.

The wolf approached Harry and licked his hand, looking up at the boy with vivid green eyes.

Harry tried to take a step back, but ran into Severus. Looking at the wolf with wide eyes, he gasped.

"Mum?"

You found hope, you found faith

Found how fast she could take it away
Found true love lost your heart
Now you dont know who you are

She made it easy made it free

Made you hurt till you couldn't see
Sometimes it stops some times it flows
Baby that is how love goes

You will fly you will crawl

God knows even angels fall
No such thing as you lost it all
God knows even angels fall

And its a secret that no one tells

One day its heaven one day its hell
It's no fairy tale take it from me
Thats the way its supposed to be

You will fly you will crawl

God knows even angels fall
No such thing as you lost it all
God knows even angels fall

You laugh you cry no one knows why

But ohh the thrill of it all
Your one the ride
You might as well open your eyes

You will fly you will crawl

God knows even angels fall
No such thing as you lost it all
God knows even angels fall

Even angels fall

Even angels fall*
*Jessica Riddle, "Even Angels Fall"

*

Chapter Fifteen, Part Three: Always

Harry gaped at the wolf as Severus steered him towards a chair. As Harry sat down, the wolf rested her head on his knees.

"Harry, your mum was bit by Remus last month." Severus said quietly, "We didn't want to tell you in fear of --"

In fear of him never looking at me the same way ever again.

The wolf let out a small sigh, followed by a whine in her throat.

"We were afraid you'd never look at your mum the same way ever again." Severus repeated, looking out the window at the fully visible full moon.

Harry didn't say anything for nearly five minutes. Finally, he looked up at his father, disbelief in his eyes.

"Is that why she's been here this whole time?" he asked feebly.

Severus nodded, "Yes, Harry. She's perfectly harmless, as you can see. Wolfsbane potion; the same I gave to Remus when he taught here."

"Without the potion, she'd try to kill us?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Severus said quietly, looking down at the wolf who was looking up at him with her green eyes. "She does make a gorgeous wolf, doesn't she?"

"She looks sad." Harry said softly.

I'm not... I'm just tired.

"She's not, she's just tired." Severus said for Lily.

Harry looked up at him curiously, "How do you know?"

Severus smiled, "She still has her mind, Harry. I can communicate with her as easily as if she was human."

"But why can't she talk like a normal human being?" Harry asked rather stupidly.

Severus shook his head, "She doesn't have the vocal cords to accompany human speech. Isn't that right, love?"

He reached down and started scratching the wolf behind her ears. Both Dumbledore and Harry started chuckling when the wolf started to growl and Severus withdrew his hand.

Sev...

Yes, love?

I told you, I don't like being petted.

Lily, darling, you've never been petted, so how can you decide whether or not you like it?

It's far too... dogish.

Severus laughed out loud, looking at the other two humans in the room. "She doesn't liked being petted."

"I can imagine why." Harry said scornfully. "What about the babies?"

Severus looked over towards Dumbledore, a pleading expression on his face. Dumbledore nodded, understanding. He cleared his throat and started to stand up before seeming to change his mind and the upward motion of his body ceased.

"Harry." Dumbledore said slowly, in a slightly drawn-out way. Before he could say anymore, the wolf once again turned on her back, all four of her legs stuck up vertically in the air.

Let him touch.

Lily, love... Do you really think that's a good idea?

Bloody hell, Severus. It's the exact same as if I were human.

It's a rather peculiar feeling, love. I'm not sure Harry would know what to make of it.

He asked, he should have a right to know.

If you insist.

Severus sighed, turning back towards Harry.

"She wants you to touch her belly." Severus kneeled down with his son, taking his hand and pressing it softly on the wolf's belly. He watched as Harry's eyes widened in amazement.

"They're... they're much bigger than they are when Mum's... err... Human, yes?" Harry asked.

Severus forced a smile. "Werewolf cubs, Harry."

Harry immediately withdrew his hand. "Pardon?"

Piss off, Sev. They're just as human as I am.

My dear, that's not saying too much at the moment.

No need to scare the boy!

If both parents of a child are werewolves, does that mean the child, or children in this case, will become werewolves?

Severus, if you say one more god damned word about that I will not hesitate to bite you.

You know damn well it's a possibility.

How the bloody hell did we get from talking about Harry to talking about the fact Remus --

Has a better than even chance of being the father?

Damn it, Severus. You know it's about a thirty per cent chance --

So you say.

Don't make me walk out of here, Severus.

Lily, love, you can't.

Sarcasm doesn't suit your thoughts, dear.

Neither does it yours, Lily love.

Are you ever going to drop it? If you're so curious, ask Papa, then read his mind.

I can't.

What?

I said, I --

I heard perfectly well what you said. What do you mean, you can't?

I mean, he's much more powerful than we could ever hope to be. He can block me out when he wishes.

God f-cking damnit...

Now, Lily. Using that language around the children...

Piss off, Sev. They can't hear me. Hell, two of them don't even have ears yet.

Which brings me back to my original point --

I know what you said, Severus. They're yours unless proven otherwise. Stick by your words for once, will you?

Harry wasn't mine. Who's to say these babies aren't?

Yet you've raised Harry as if you would if he were your son. Will you truly do any different this time, Sev?

We're older, Lily. You know damn well how I feel about you and Remus.

It wasn't his fault.

I'm well aware of that fact. He's always the innocent one, Lily. Always.

What on Earth is that supposed to mean? Why are you being like this?

Because your son's standing here next to me, touching two babies that might not be mine. You're a god damn werewolf, Lily, and I'm standing here, completely helpless.

So that's what's making you act like this... Helplessness. Severus, would you enjoy turning into a werewolf? If I bit you, would that make you feel any better? To join my ranks? If I was to allow you to sleep with another woman and impregnate her, would you feel not-so-helpless?

Lily, I -

If you were to have two babies growing inside of you, and you didn't know if they were the products of a binge of despair or the love of your life's, would that make you feel any better? Would being more scared than you had ever been in your entire life make you feel any better, Severus? Would it?

No, it wouldn't.

Then don't you dare be mad at me, Severus, because I sure as hell didn't ask for any of this.

Lily, love, I'm sorry.

The wolf looked up at Severus and rolled over, barring her teeth slightly. A low growl omitted from the wolf's throat, as Harry and Dumbledore looked on with interest.

"And exactly what were you two conversing about?" Dumbledore asked as the wolf jumped up beside him and curled up.

"Nothing, Headmaster." Severus said quietly, eyes downcast.

"Grandpa, did you know about this?" Harry asked suddenly, looking up at Dumbledore with expectant eyes.

"From the day it happened, Harry." The old man answered honestly. He turned towards the wolf, his blue eyes bearing into her green ones. "Are you tired, dear?"

The wolf set her nose down on Dumbledore's knee, a small whine escaping her throat. Dumbledore smiled a bit, then turned towards Harry.

"Son, I believe your Mum is tired... And I daresay your father, also?" Severus gave a small nod. "Why don't you and I go get a cup of hot chocolate and I can answer any questions you might have. Is that ok?"

Harry nodded and stood up with Dumbledore. The two bid Severus and the wolf goodbye, climbing out of the portrait hole swiftly.

Along once more, Severus turned towards the wolf, his face pale and a look of hopelessness filling his features. "Lily, love, I'm sorry."

I know you are, Sev.

I didn't mean to get out of hand like that, love. I just...

You're mad and you don't know what to make of it all. It's perfectly expectable.

Yes, but I'm also sorry.

It's ok... I expect I'm going to do a bit of venting myself, possibly in the form of Severus-torturing, so we'll be even then.

Lily, love, promise me something.

Yes?

You'll stay with me, always.

Of course, Sev. Why wouldn't I?

If these babies are Remus's...

I'd rather drown them than have you leave me.

You say that now, while they're still mere cells.

And what do you think we're made of, Severus? Titanium?

If those babies are Remus's, would you even consider trying to raise them with him?

No, if you hadn't spoken it the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind. Never. You're the father of my children, regardless of blood. We've proved that before, and we'll do it again if we need to. However, if you feel as if seeing the twins on a day by day basis would be a constant reminder of what has happened...

I can't promise anything, love.

I know you can't, Sev. I'm not expecting you to.

But I can tell you I'll try.

Come, Sev. Sit next to me.

Severus obliged and walked over to the bed, sitting next to the wolf. He laid down next to her, touching her head gently.

I admit, someone petting me does feel rather soothing.

I'll have to remember that, love.

Are you tired?

Honestly? I feel as if I've just drank the Draught of the Living Dead.

Then sleep, Sev.

I don't want to leave you.

I'll be here when you wake up, hopefully in human form.

Naked?

Hopefully I'll have time to put some clothes on.

Damn.

I'll try not to wake you up.

No, no... Wake me up when you start to transform. I know it's painful, I want to be there in case you need help.

Or render myself unconscious.

That too, love.

Good night, Sev.

Sleep well, love.

*

Chapter Fifteen, Part Four: Morning Glory

Severus was awakened by the wolf, who had insisted on licking his face, seven hours later. With a quick glance out at the window and notice the blanket of stars slowly giving way to the first rays of the sun, Severus turned back to the wolf.

"It's almost time, then?"

Yes.

Are you ok?

Not in a moment.

Just as Lily's last thought filtered through Severus' mind, the wolf let out a ear-splitting howl. Without so much as a second thought, Severus jumped out of the bed and backed away a few steps.

"Are you ok?" he repeated stupidly, his eyes widening with fear.

What the bloody hell do you think?

Sorry, love.

God damnit, I hate this...

Severus watched with baited breath as the wolf in front of him seemed to battle an invisible force, thrashing side to side and howling with pain. He heard the sound of bones breaking once more as the fur retracted into the wolf's body. The snout, once so prominent a feature, was now retracting with little grace, a very human nose replacing it. Severus watched, amazed, as the wolf was replaced with his wife.

Lily was trembling terribly, pale, and naked, lying in a heap, hugging herself. Severus immediately ran over to her, pulling off his own robe and covering her with it. He glanced around the room and spotted her discarded clothing from the evening before. Picking the garments up carefully, he laid them beside Lily's exhausted form.

That was easier than I expected.

Yes, it did seem to be much quicker.

Quicker? It seemed like an eternity.

Your clothes are right here... Do you think you have the energy to put them on?

No, your robe'll do... Do you think you could maybe help me with this? I seem to have lost all movement of my limbs.

Severus forced a tight smile as he gently pulled Lily's arms through the sleeves of the blue terrycloth robe, tying the belt around her middle loosely. He adjusted her body so her head was lying on one of the feather pillows at the head of the bed, and pulled the blankets over her.

Thank you, Sevvie.

Sevvie now, eh?

Yes, Sevvie.

Why Sevvie?

Makes us seem younger.

We're only thirty-four, love.

That's thirty-four years too many, Sev.

So we're back to Sev now?

SEVVIE!

If you insist, love.

C'mere... Get your arse under the blankets with me and give me a hug. I don't think I can move.

Tired, love?

Yes, Sevvie.

Severus smiled a bit as he complied with Lily's wishes, wrapping his arms around her still-trembling shoulders.

Is this better, love?

You're calling me love every sentence, Sev.

Are you complaining, love?

No, Sev.

Then why mention it, love?

So you're not mad at me anymore, Sev?

Of course not, love. Why on Earth would I be mad at you?

For... I don't know, Sev.

Now you're overdoing it, Lil.

What, no love that time?

Go to sleep, love.

Why?

Because you're exhausted, and I'm sure your Papa wouldn't mind if I skipped class this morning.

Class... SEV! You've got to go... Leave... Now... Good Lord, it's almost eight.

Let the little buggers miss Potions...

Sev, this isn't 1978. You can't miss class, you're the teacher!

I'm sure your Papa will take care of it... He knows I have other obligations.

They might as well start looking around for a new Potions Master.

Of course, what do you think they're doing?

Teaching?

At Hogwarts? Never

.

Ethan approached Harry that morning in the Great Hall, eyeing the Gryffindors surrounding his brother.

"Harry... Where's Mum and Dad?" Ethan asked, his voice squeaking a bit.

"In their room, probably." Harry yawned, exhausted from the late hours spent talking with his grandfather. "But don't bother them -- they're tired."

"What about class?" Ethan asked, a little louder. "Dad has to teach; I have Potions second hour."

"I'm sure he'll be there, Ethan." Harry sighed, slightly annoyed. He looked over at Ron and Hermione, both of whom were eyeing his little Slytherin brother just as much as he was eyeing them.

"Ok... If you see them, tell them... Tell them..." Ethan paused.

"Tell them what?" Harry snapped.

Ethan's cold black eyes hardened, "Tell them to stop by, that Daddy's oldest son misses him."

Harry stood up next to the boy. "Take that back."

Ethan smirked, "Why? It's true."

"Take it back or I swear to God I'll hit you so hard you'll be flying into next Thursday." Harry growled back, clenching his fists.

Ethan was unfazed. He crossed his arms, an amused expression playing across his face. "You think no one cares about you not being a real Snape? Everyone cares, Harry. Dad's just being extra nice to you to make you think you matter."

Harry didn't bother concealing his anger this time; before his grandfather, friends, and the whole Great Hall, he punched Ethan so hard the boy was knocked backwards nearly six feet.

Looking up at Harry with amazement mixed with surprise in his eyes, Ethan clutched his bloody and broken nose, scrambling to stand back up. He fought against the tears that were forming in his eyes, not so much from pain but from frustration. Wiping his mouth with the edge of his sleeve, his glared at Harry and turned around, storming out of the Great Hall.

He arrived at the portrait concealing the entrance to his parents' room, and whispered the password angrily. A moment later, the door swung open, revealing his sleeping parents. Storming up to the side of the bed his father was on, he shook his shoulders forcibly, waking the grown man up.

"Ethan? What is it?" Severus whispered, glancing over at his wife. "What happened to your nose?"

"Harry punched me." Ethan fumed.

"Why did he do that?" Severus said quietly, touching the boy's blood stained face. "Go to Madame Pomfrey."

"I don't know why, he just punched me!" Ethan exclaimed. Severus immediately clamped his hand over the boy's mouth.

"Keep it down... Your mother is sleeping."

Ethan looked over at Lily's pale, sleeping form. "Ok, I'm sorry. I don't know why... Could you punish him?"

Severus shook his head, "Not until I get his side of the story. He wouldn't punch you out of the blue, Ethan. Now GO to Madame Pomfrey... She'll fix your nose for you."

Ethan nodded, "Yes sir." With that, he walked out of the room, closing the portrait door behind him. Severus sighed turned back towards Lily.

What was that all about?

You're awake.

Yes, sorry. What happened?

Ethan came in with a bloody nose and is insisting Harry punched him.

Somehow that doesn't surprise me...

Lily sighed and opened her eyes a bit.

"Are you feeling better?" Severus asked.

"Yes, a lot." Lily moved her hand down along Severus' left arm, tracing the tattooed gray skull with her finger. "Can't you get that removed?"

"I wish." Severus said softly, resisting the urge to jerked his arm away from her. "Maybe someday someone will figure out how."

"I'm sure they will." Lily said slowly and softly, almost as if it pained her to speak.

"Go back to sleep, love. I'll wake you up in time for dinner." Severus assured her. Lily nodded and closed her eyes once more, laying her head on Severus' chest.

He sighed and started to run his fingers through her auburn hair, allowing himself to succumb to the irresistible lulls of sleep.

*

Chapter Fifteen, Part Five: I'm A Believer

How long has it been since I've felt the burn of human emotion?

Too long. Far too long. You're an outcast in your own mind, even though you're surrounded by friends.

And who am I to argue? These people look at me as if I'm a freak. I am...

You are.

The last time I felt as if anyone cared was when...

Was when you betrayed your best friend.

Yes. Guilt beyond guilt.

It was like your whole world had come crashing down....

It did. She hated me... Or so I thought. He... He still hasn't looked at me the same way, especially since I hurt her...

Now that wasn't your fault.

Of course it was! How could it not be?

You weren't in your right state of mind.

What do you know?

Everything.

Yes?

I am you.

Of course you are...

Remus sighed as he looked around the crowded alleyway. Witches and Wizards of all kind streamed passed him. The few he knew and dared to meet eyes with either looked away or nodded swiftly without a word.

Guilt pounded in his chest as he stepped into Flourish and Blott's. Surveying the scene in front of him, he cautiously made his way down an empty aisle, his eyes running over the assorted spines of books he would probably never read in his life. His eyes flicked from cover to cover, his mind soaking in the words as his eyes passed over them.

"The rise and fall of the Dark Arts, summarized into one five-hundred page book?" Remus shook his head, picking up the leather-bound book. "Impossible."

Flipping to the index, he scanned the page for "Potter, Lily." Making a note of the page numbers, he turned to it and raised an eyebrow at the picture of her.

It was a biography up to Ethan's birth. A picture of what was her and Severus while they were still at Hogwarts was put in the top corner. Severus was cut out of the picture, only a few strands of his raven hair showing. Lily was smiling and waving, her seventeen year old self as radiant as ever.

The two people you destroyed...

I did no such thing.

You tried.

It wasn't my fault.

So you say.

We did it together.

Yes, you definitely did something together.

We f-cked -- Nothing more.

Is that all it was, then?

Yes.

There was no emotion? No love? We both know how much you adore her.

A schoolboy crush is not worth ruining the best relationship she'll ever have.

Yet you did it anyway.

I was weak.

You still are.

I've always been weak -- ever since I was bitten, I've been weak.

Yes, and look where that got you; your best friend possibly pregnant with your child.

Twins. She told me they were twins.

Did she now? And how do you feel about that?

Overjoyed... terrified...

Are they yours?

God I hope not.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, shoving the book back onto the shelf. He walked down the aisle once more, his eyes falling onto a book about werewolves.

Ahh, it's you.

Yes, it's me, once a month.

Wonder how Lily felt? Three full moons have past; have you even bothered to check up on her?

Once. Severus is keeping her under tight reign.

Yes, but that is her doing, not his.

Why?

Why would she want to be treated as if she were a child? Because, my friend, for the first time in her life, she's had to act like an adult.

Why?

So many question... We are both aware of how much sleeping with you hurt her, emotionally.

Yes. She nearly killed herself.

She damn well tried... And you believe it is not your fault?

Of course that is my fault. I should have said no.

You couldn't have, you're --

I know. I'm too weak.

That and a werewolf. Your animal instincts took over.

Were my eyes yellow?

Ask her, I'm sure she'll tell you.

When the wolf in me comes out... my eyes turn yellow.

Yes, I'm quite aware of that, Remus.

So if my eyes were yellow...

Then you were part wolf that night.

I didn't mean it.

We both know that... But it's your fault.

I couldn't help it.

So you've said.

You don't believe me?

Why should I?

Because you're me.

True.

Remus shook his head once more, watching a blonde boy that looked vaguely familiar streak past him. The figure was blurry; his eyes were now fighting back tears he hadn't noticed before.

Why now?

It's the perfect time.

Why though?

You'll see.

I'll see what?

Fate, Remus.

Fate?

Yes, Remus. Fate.

As in destiny?

There's a fine line between fate and destiny, Remus. Don't cross it.

Remus took a step forward, his eyes blurry and downcast. A moment later, he was thrown to the floor.

Ignoring the pain in his left shoulder, he looked over to his right, seeing the person who had knocked him over... Or had it been the other way around?

To his surprise, the person offered their hand to him. He took it gratefully, hoisting his trembling body to its feet.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry..." It was a woman.

A woman?

Yes, a woman.

Destiny?

Fate.

"That... That's ok. I wasn't looking where I was going." Remus stated gruffly, looking up at the woman.

"Wait... Remus?" His eyes met hers as she said his name. "Remus Lupin?"

"Yes, and who is this?" He asked, taking in her light blonde hair and slim figure.

"You don't remember me?" She smiled a bit. "You kissed me once, in our sixth year."

Realization hit him. "Narcissa? Narcissa Martin?"

She smiled at me, "It's been a long time, Remus."

Remus smiled back. "It certainly has."

I thought love was only true in fairytales

Meant for someone else but not for me
Oh love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted
All my dreams

Then I saw her face

Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

I thought love was more or less a givin' thing

Seems the more I gave the less I got
What's the use in tryin'?
All you get is pain
When I needed sunshine I got rain

Then I saw her face

Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

Aw love was out to get me

Now that's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted
All my dreams

Then I saw her face

Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

Yes I saw her face

Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
Said I'm a believer
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (I'm a believer)
Said I'm a believer yeah (I'm a believer)
Said I'm a believer yeah yeah, Oh yeah*
*I'm A Believer, Smash Mouth