Rating:
R
House:
Riddikulus
Genres:
Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 03/06/2003
Updated: 03/14/2003
Words: 12,904
Chapters: 2
Hits: 1,650

Blue Hawaii

Lady Narcissa

Story Summary:
Malfoys. Weasleys. One exotic Hawaiian island, two weeks' vacation. Worlds collide, mayhem ensues, the unexpected happens.

Blue Hawaii 01 - 02

Chapter Summary:
Malfoys. Weasleys. One exotic Hawaiian island; two weeks' vacation. Worlds collide; mayhem ensues; the unexpected happens.
Posted:
03/06/2003
Hits:
1,275
Author's Note:
Thanks to Sunny and ZP for reading this for me first!


Chapter One

"I don't want to go to Hawaii." Draco's drawl echoed off the polished marble walls of Malfoy Manor. "It's boring. Muggles go there to do... stupid Muggle things, like surf and swim. They stay in the sun for hours and tan. I want to stay home and study the unforgivable curses. I want to learn to make people suffer."

"Oh, nonsense, darling. Everyone who's anyone is going to Hawaii this holiday." Narcissa checked herself in the mirror, blowing a kiss at her reflection ("to die for," the mirror confirmed). She brushed the hair out of her eyes. "That's better. Now... we'll have to take you shopping at that delightful Muggle department store for a swimsuit, Drae."

Draco let out a huge, deep breath. He knew his mother--this was one battle he actually stood a chance at losing. All right, he decided, he'd play along for now. But there was no way he was going to take the best two weeks of summer holiday and go to some... some... resort. The very thought of it made the blood turn to ice in his veins. There was no way Father would to agree to this anyway. They had never taken a family vacation; they weren't about to start now.

"Ooh, love, Daddy's home." Draco could have strangled his mum; her singsong voice was driving him absolutely crazy. "Let's tell him together. One look at these lovely brochures, there's not a chance he'll turn us down."

The front door banged open, then slammed shut. Although his mum was oblivious to the ever-present dark cloud hanging over Lucius' head, Draco knew it was there. He smiled a little in anticipated triumph. If Father was in his usual bad mood, so much the better. This ridiculous idea of his mum's was sure to be short-lived.

"Narcissa!" came a commanding voice. "What is this... this mud doing in the entrance hallway?"

Narcissa squeaked, then shrugged her shoulders conspiratorially at Draco. "Coming, sweetie--ever since we lost Dobby, it's been hard to keep up with it all," she called toward the front of the house. "Perfect," she whispered to Draco. "This will be great! Once he knows how overworked I am, there's no way he's going to refuse this little family holiday."

Just wait, thought Draco as his mum grabbed up a sponge and can of Mrs. Skower's Magical Cleansing Powder and headed toward the front door. Draco followed, deciding not to be seen. This was one conversation where he'd really rather be a fly on the wall.

"Mmm." Narcissa planted a big wet kiss on Lucius' lips. "Welcome home, baby." She leaned over, wiping away the mess on the floor. Draco noticed that, much to his disgust, his mother's v-neck shirt had plunged quite low, threatening to expose her voluminous breasts dangerously. So those were the "lovely brochures" she wanted Father to take a look at... Her rear end made a slow grind in the air. She rubbed the sponge over the mud, then picked it up slowly and smiled at Lucius. She licked her teeth.

Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick. Draco wanted to stop watching, but he hesitated. The mini-drama unfolding was captivating in a revolting sort of way. Voyeuristic though it was, he couldn't bring himself to turn away.

Lucius smiled, and it was a slow, sinister sort of smile. He took the sponge from her hands and dropped it deliberately back onto the floor. Then Draco watched as his father leaned forward and whispered something into Narcissa's ear--no, wait, he'd actually licked her ear.

Now I'm definitely going to be sick.

Narcissa laughed, running her index finger across Lucius' lips, then placing the finger into her own mouth. Lucius put his arm around her and they walked away up the stairs, toward the master suite.

Hidden behind the tapestries, Draco shook his head. Disgusting. And he knew right then and there that no matter how well he argued his case, his family would be taking a trip to Hawaii.


***

"Ron, Ginny, Fred, George--oh, sorry dears, George, Fred, is everyone packed?" Molly Weasley counted the suitcases in front of her. "Who did I forget?"

"Me," said Harry with a grin.

"Of course, dear, how could I?" Mrs. Weasley shook her head. "Come on, then, the car is waiting outside. Arthur!" she called. "Fred, where is your father?" She glanced at the clock on the mantel; the hand containing Mr. Weasley's name pointed to "Home."

"Out in the garage, I expect, Mum," said George. "He said something about his plug collection."

"Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Weasley, "We are not bringing that with us." She stormed out to the small garage behind the main house. Ron and Harry exchanged glances as they heard raised voices. After a few minutes, Mr. Weasley followed Mrs. Weasley sheepishly into the house.

"I don't know what the problem is," he said, "we packed last night, Molly; there's room."

Mrs. Weasley shot him a glance that had FED UP written all over it. "Come along, Arthur, let's just go. It's not often that we get to take such a lovely trip, and Harry with us and all." She ruffled the untidy black hair on Harry's head, making his glasses go lopsided in the process.

Ron rolled his eyes; Harry couldn't help but smile. The Dursleys had never taken him anywhere on holiday although they'd gone plenty of times themselves, leaving him trapped for days and days with crazy old Mrs. Figg. But now that Harry was basically living with the Weasleys every holiday, Mrs. Figg and her cats were nothing but a hazy memory.

Taking a last, longing glance at the plug collection now piled haphazardly onto the kitchen table, Mr. Weasley ushered the family out the door into the waiting Ministry car. The entire family piled in: Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Ginny in front with the furtive, black-clad driver; Fred, George, Harry, and Ron in the back with the luggage. Arthur Weasley turned around and grinned. "You're going to have to help us out at the airport, Harry." He gave a wink.

Harry had never been to an airport before in his life. In fact, he'd only gotten his passport through the good graces of the Ministry of Magic, who'd pulled some strings to come up with a convincing birth certificate for him. None of them had ever been to America before. "I'll do whatever I can, Mr. Weasley," promised Harry. He thought that was the least he could do.


***

"Ahhhhh." Narcissa Malfoy adjusted the sunglasses sitting atop her pert little turned-up nose. The straw hat with the wide floral band covered her head completely, providing a good amount of shade. She'd picked a D&G leopard print bikini off the showroom rack in Rome; it fit her like snakeskin. She sipped something blue and vile-smelling out of a glass with a little umbrella poking out of the top. "Ooh, Drae, it's so darn cute," she sighed, examining the orange paper umbrella. "What will they think of next."

Draco rolled his eyes and turned back to Opportunities for the Unforgivable: When, Where, and How by the noted nineteenth-century Spanish dark wizard Mageroy DeCrucio. He didn't want to look at his mother sitting there, practically naked, stretched out on the lounge chair. There was something unholy about the whole situation. In addition, he refused to remove the towel he'd wrapped around his waist; his mum had insisted that he buy what she termed "that darling little Speedo number, the dark green one, right there--no, a small should fit him just fine." It was a ridiculous excuse for clothing; Draco couldn't believe that Muggles actually spent money on something so stupid. At least Father had the right idea. He sat by the shade of a palm tree at a private cabana. In addition to his silk shirt, black leather pants, and dragon hide boots, he wore sunglasses--his one nod to the fact that they were in a very, very well-lit corner of the world. That Lucius had point-blank refused to even discuss purchasing a swimsuit had raised him to near God-like status in Draco's eyes.

"Come on, love, let's try out the pool." Narcissa hiccuped, giggled, and put the empty glass down on the table. "It's hot here, in case you haven't noticed." She reached over and grabbed Draco by the hand.

"No, Mum," he begged, but she pulled him to a stand. The towel fell away from his waist; Draco felt pale and ridiculous and very exposed. He moved to cover the tiny swimsuit with his other hand; he didn't want anyone to see him dressed like this.

"Last one in's a rotten egg," Narcissa shouted with glee, executing a perfect swan dive into the turquoise blue of the pool.

"Well, I'm not going to stand here dressed like this, it's too ridiculous," Draco muttered to himself. With a last imploring glance at his father--he was no help, he'd hidden himself behind the Muggle newspaper to avoid getting involved in anything having to do with water or swimming--Draco took a deep breath and plunged into the pool.

This water's not bad, he thought. Maybe his Mum's idea hadn't been completely horrible. As he knew all too well, sitting on a broomstick looking around for a snitch he'd never be able to catch wasn't going to help him build muscles. Not to mention that the way he played seeker couldn't possibly win him any girls. Not in this lifetime.

Draco swam quickly across the pool, putting as much distance as possible between himself and his extremely weird parents.


***

"Fred--no, George--oh, whichever one you are, come along then." Molly Weasley stood directing a long line of red-headed people and one person with black untidy hair and glasses. She tilted her head toward the swimming pool. "There you go, now, boys and Ginny, remember to use plenty of sunblocking spells so you don't burn. As soon as your father and I get everything unpacked, we'll be out to join you."

Fred and George broke into identical mischievous grins.

"And no Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, Fred and George!" admonished Molly. "Remember, we're in Muggle territory. We have to act like they do."

"Where's the fun in that," sniffed Fred.

"We could have such a time with them..." sighed George.

Molly's smile faded as her eyes narrowed. "If I hear one bad report about the two of you, you'll be banished to the room the entire rest of the holiday."

Mr. Weasley hung his head and nodded in agreement. Personally, he wouldn't mind if his sons had a bit of fun, so long as he was there to fix the problem afterward. "Listen to your mum, boys," he mumbled. "Join you presently."

"Come on, Harry. Race you to the pool." Ron was already sprinting across the flagstone terrace, Ginny at his heels. Harry waved good-bye to Fred and George, who were deep in conversation over how to have what they termed "just a bit of fun" without their parents finding out. He joined Ron and Ginny at the pool's edge.

"Oi, it's warm," Ron said, a blissful smile on his face. This was the first time he could remember since Egypt that his parents had been able to afford a family trip that didn't involve Floo powder. He'd been just as surprised as anyone when his dad won the Annual Galleon Draw contest for the second time in three years, but he wasn't about to complain. Although he liked to gripe about playing second fiddle to Harry, Ron had to admit that since they'd met, his life had gotten a lot more interesting.

"Too bad about Percy." Harry had just joined Ron at the pool, dangling his feet into the water.

Ron gave a forced smile. "I'm so busy with my cauldron bottom reports--I haven't got time to go frolicking around some Muggle idea of paradise," he said, imitating Percy's pompous tone precisely. He shrugged. "His loss, isn't it, Harry. Come on then, let's go swimming. Ginny, you fancy a dip with us?"

Ginny blushed. Ever since the end of her first year at Hogwarts, she'd been ridiculously tongue-tied around Harry. The idea of standing next to him in a bathing suit was almost more than she could bear, but she'd managed to find a cute one that just matched the shade of red in her hair. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Not that he ever looked at her in that way, but... so long as he was around, there was always a small chance. She jumped into the pool, splashing water all over Ron in the process.

"Oi, Ginny, what'd you do that for," he snarled.

"Shut it, Ron!" she squealed, paddling out of the way as another swimmer cut right in front of her. Ginny couldn't help but stare--the woman who'd just swum past them had to have the most perfect body Ginny had ever seen. She looked down at her own barely emergent chest and blushed. What she wouldn't give to have a body like that woman's! Then Harry would definitely take notice.


***

Across the pool, Draco Malfoy watched his mother swim as gracefully as a dolphin, splashing and paddling. Where had she learned to swim like that? He pulled himself up and sat at the side of the pool. He'd lost sight of Narcissa for a moment and scanned the horizon.

"I don't believe it," he said, eyes widening. His mum had just swum past Potter and Weasley--or was he seeing things? He shook the water out of his eyes and peered across the pool again. No, it was no mirage. Even Weasley's ridiculous sister Ginny was there. Draco's heart did a nasty thump-thump-thump in his chest. Just when he thought things couldn't have gotten any worse....


***

Narcissa swam back across the pool, drying her hair with her new fluffy pink Power Puff Girls towel. Lucius watched her from behind the safety of his newspaper, smiling. She looked much more than hot in her bikini, dripping wet--in fact, she was downright sizzling. He lowered his sunglasses and caught her eye. Narcissa winked, then joined him at the cabana.

"Hey baby." She sat on his lap. "I hope all this silly water won't ruin those nice new leather pants of yours...."

"Fuck the pants." Lucius pulled her close, traced her lips with his finger, then kissed her deeply. Their tongues played together, twisting and exploring.

"Ooh," Narcissa sighed, "I could just--"

Something lime green and flat caught Narcissa on the back of the head, then fell to the ground with a muffled clatter. "Oi! Sorry!" Fred Weasley crashed into the Malfoys, then bent to retrieve the Frisbee that he and George had bewitched just enough to make it knock into whoever was nearby. He picked it up and dashed off without a backward glance.

"I apologize for my son." Arthur Weasley approached the cabana. "He's a little on the reckless side..." He stopped, dumbstruck. "Lucius Malfoy? Here?"

Lucius removed his sunglasses and raised an eyebrow. "Well, well, Arthur," he hissed quietly, his silvery eyes blazing. "What unfortunate sequence of events brings you here to ruin my family's holiday?" He pushed Narcissa aside--she fell to the ground with a soft "plop"--and stood to face Mr. Weasley. Arthur Weasley stood taller than him by a good four inches, which had always been a point of extreme irritation to Lucius. A look of mutual hatred appeared on both men's faces.

"Honestly," said Lucius in a soft and very dangerous voice, "I don't see how you can even pretend to afford being here on what the Ministry pays you."

Arthur's eyes flashed in anger; his face turned the color of Ginny's new swimsuit. "How dare you insult me, Malfoy."

Molly Weasley chose that moment to come trundling over, a bright pink and white flowered sundress covering her ample and fairly antiquated swimwear. "Is there a problem, Arthur, dear?" Then she recognized her husband's nemesis. "Oh dear," she gulped.

Narcissa pulled herself up from where she'd been so rudely deposited on the ground. "Who is it, baby?" she asked.

Lucius shot a hateful glare toward the Weasleys. "No one of importance," he said with a good bit of venom, but Narcissa stared at Molly, transfixed.

"Oh--my--Gawd!" she squeaked, "you're the Weasleys--Lucius talks about you all the time! Of course, he never says anything good about you, but... well, don't be too insulted, he's like that with just about everybody." She extended a perfectly manicured hand. "You've got to be Molly! I'm Narcissa, Narcissa Malfoy. Our kids are in the same year together at Hogwarts!" She bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, clapping her hands in delight. "I never get to meet Draco's little friends' parents!"

Behind her, Lucius rolled his eyes and shook his head, but his wife babbled on, oblivious. "Lucius, isn't she just the cutest darned little witch you've ever seen?" Narcissa put her arm around Molly's shoulder and steered her off toward the pool, paying no attention to her charge's feeble protests, jabbering a mile a minute.

Lucius and Arthur watched the women disappear behind a royal palm; both men were absolutely speechless. Arthur Weasley's mouth hung open in a disbelieving gape. At long last he turned back toward Lucius, who appeared equally appalled at this unexpected development. Mr. Weasley swallowed hard.

"I'm willing--since we're on holiday, Malfoy--to leave office politics behind for now if you'll agree to do the same." He gave Lucius what he tried hard to turn into a weak smile. Maybe it would be mistaken for a gesture of friendship rather than disgust.

"It appears," said Lucius after much consideration, "that I have little choice in the matter." He toweled off the front of his pants, still soaked from his wife's sopping wet swimsuit. "You stay out of my way and I'll steer clear of you. But I warn you, Weasley--" he glared at Arthur--"once we return home, the agreement is null and void."

"Agreed," said Arthur stiffly.

"Under penalty of death." Lucius' whisper was inaudible.

"Didn't catch that," said Arthur, but Lucius shook his head. "Well then, I'll be getting back there. My sons Fred and George want watching, I think." A stout palm leaf brushed against Arthur's forehead as he turned to leave, knocking his sun hat to the ground. He retrieved it sheepishly, then backed away.

Loser, thought Lucius.

***

Chapter Two

Much to Ginny's dismay and disgust, both Harry and Ron gaped ridiculously after the woman with the perfect body. "Well, fuck-all!" she thought bitterly.

"Would you take a look at her, then," Harry said with a salacious grin.

Ron's eyes were still fixed on the swimmer, who was now climbing out of the pool, toweling her hair off with something soft and pink. "Yeah--nice tits!" He placed his hands in front of his chest and drew them away, pantomiming the size of the woman's breasts. He and Harry laughed.

Across the pool, Draco Malfoy stared at them, rage welling up inside him. If he hadn't been mistaken, that rat bastard Weasley had just commented on the size of his mother's... Damn it! Damn them both! he thought rabidly, leave my mother out of this! He stalked furiously across the flagstone terrace to where Potter and Weasley sat. Ron and Harry looked up as he approached.

"Malfoy," Harry spat.

"Well, this must be my lucky day," Draco sneered coldly. "Three Gryffindor losers in one place." He ran his pale blue eyes slowly over Ginny's body but didn't smile; she blushed furiously.

"What do you want, Malfoy," challenged Harry.

Draco's eyes narrowed to angry slits. "Stop--goggling--after--my--mother," he hissed.

"That--that's your mum?" gaped Ron, turning redder than Ginny's suit. He elbowed Harry in the ribs. "Whoa, Malfoy," he recovered, grinning, "you lucky bastard, ever seen her starkers?"

Malfoy immediately punched Ron in the nose. Harry jumped up to defend his best friend.

"Don't you dare insult my mother!" Draco shouted.

Ron held a hand in front of his nose, which had started to bleed profusely. He waved Harry off. "You're such an idiot, Malfoy," he said wincing, grabbing Ginny's towel, and stuffing it under his nose. "It wasn't a bloody insult! Your mum is hot!"

Draco didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He looked back and forth between Weasley and Potter, and then the utter absurdity of the situation hit him. Here he was, stuck on some ridiculous island for two whole weeks with nothing to interrupt his solitude but a few curse spellbooks--and the two people he liked least in the world sat in front of him, gaping after his own mum. Potter and Weasley, drooling at the sight of his very own mum--ridiculous though she could be at times, who could blame him for defending her honor? At least he could take some small satisfaction from the dark circles blossoming around both of Weasley's eyes. It had been a dead-on and very hard punch.

Then Ginny tapped him on the arm and spoke, interrupting his train of thought. And the two words she uttered cut him deeper than if he'd been sentenced to a beheading death by his father's axe-wielding crony Macnair at the Ministry: "Nice suit."


***

Molly's eyes were wide with a combination of panic and disbelief. Narcissa Malfoy had dragged her over to the lounge chairs, plunked her down, immediately ordered them both something from the bar that was blue and odious, and hadn't yet shut up for a moment. In the course of five minutes Molly learned all about the deplorable lack of house-elves at Malfoy Manor and how hard it was to keep interviewing replacements; about Narcissa's trip to Rome to find the perfect swimsuit and how nice they'd all been about it at the designer's showroom when she'd modeled it for them; about how much she missed Draco when school was in session; about how even though she knew most of the single witches working at the Ministry had designs on her husband--who wouldn't--he was well protected because she'd spent her many hours alone perfecting the most amazing bewitching spell and he didn't even know about it, bless his sweet seductive little heart.

She's got to stop to take a breath sometime, Molly told herself. Finally, Narcissa paused just enough to sip the blue drink through her straw. Molly jumped at the opportunity to get a word in.

"My goodness," she said, trying hard to smile convincingly, "are you alone all day? No one to keep you company?"

"You have no idea," Narcissa continued. "It's awfully hard work keeping things clean at home! I mean, I know it's not really little Harry Potter's fault about Dobby, but still. Have you ever seen the Manor, how huge it is and how easily it gets cluttered and dusty? Well, no, of course you haven't, silly me." Her eyes widened, and the flicker of an idea actually crossed her face. "But you'll have to come and visit after we get home! I'm enjoying this time with you so much! Let's promise not to lose contact with each other after holiday." She squeezed Molly's hand. "Come on, then, love, drink up!" Narcissa shoved the blue drink into Molly's other hand. "I'll tell you a secret."

"Er--all right." Molly wondered if she even had a choice in the matter, but Narcissa leaned forward conspiratorially.

"People are always jealous of me," she whispered. "For the life of me I can't figure it out. I mean, sure, I was born with this amazing body and sure, I look great and sure, I have the world's handsomest husband and sure, the sex is unbelievable and sure, we've got scads of galleons and sure, we've got this great estate and sure, we've got the nicest little son in the world and sure, Lucius will probably be the next Minister of Magic. But honestly, they should try being me, just for one day. Put themselves in my shoes." She sniffed.

Molly hadn't a clue what Narcissa was prattling on about, but that didn't stop Narcissa.

"All I'm saying, Molly, is that it's lonely at the top. Know what I mean?"

Molly shrugged, smiled weakly, and drank the blue stuff as quickly as she could. Please shut up, just for a moment, she prayed.

Narcissa's eyes twinkled; she took another sip. "It's called a Blue Hawaii, isn't that just perfect? I love them so much, I made Lucius get the recipe from that sweet Muggle boy at the bar."

"What's in them?" Molly was beginning to wish she hadn't finished hers quite so quickly; the pool was starting to look fuzzy around the edges.

"Well, they have these cute little umbrellas," laughed Narcissa, "but besides that they're pineapple juice and a couple types of Muggle liquor, something called rum and something called Blue Curacao. I just adore them. Lucius ordered up a whole case of the blue stuff and had it sent back home by owl post already. I love my baby to death--isn't he just the nicest most selfless man you could imagine?"

Molly raised both eyebrows. "Apparently so," she said, stifling the temptation to snicker. She'd heard enough bad things about Lucius Malfoy to last an entire lifetime; Arthur was always busy planning his next raid on the Malfoys to try to uncover what he just knew was a treasure trove of Dark Arts artifacts hidden somewhere in their house. Their rivalry went way back, ever since Lucius had first spoken out against Arthur's precious life work, the Muggle Protection Act. This simple fact--that Malfoy seemed determined to ruin her own husband's most desperate desires for Muggle-Wizard cooperation--had made it so Molly never allowed herself to think about Lucius Malfoy as a fellow human being. Yet here was the Evil Enemy's wife, and she obviously adored the man. In fact, she wouldn't shut up about him, and through the alcohol haze that threatened to overtake her, Molly wondered if it hadn't been Lucius who'd perfected the bewitching spell and used it on Narcissa instead. But that was unfair. Narcissa was a bit gabby, she thought generously, but she wasn't evil. Why, she probably couldn't even hurt a fly. Now how could someone who was purportedly such a bad Dark wizard be so good to someone as--well, as clueless and innocent as Narcissa?

Narcissa beamed at Molly. "Look at him," she cooed, pointing to her husband. "He is just so darned sexy and adorable." She waved and blew him a kiss; he nodded and smiled ever so slightly before turning his attention back to Section C of USA Today.

"I have to admit," Molly began, "he certainly seems completely entranced by you. Hang on." She drew her wand out from the folds of her sun dress, pointed it at herself, and said "Soleum Protectora--don't want to burn, you know."

"Oh, go on then." Narcissa felt around beneath her chair and drew out a huge bag. She took out a box containing a pearly shining wand. "Brand new," she smiled, "Lucius popped over to Ollivander's and got it for me while I was in Rome picking up my bikini. White willow, 12 and a half inches, dragon heart string." She pointed it at Molly and incanted "Epidermis Solaris." A lovely tickle washed over Molly's body; when she looked down, she was the perfect shade of bronze to match her hair. "I built the sunblocking spell right into that one," Narcissa told her proudly. "I'm really good at charms."

A genuine grin spread over Molly's face. She'd never had a tan before in her life, and she liked how it felt--all warm and comfortable and darn near perfect. She lifted up her empty glass. "Let's get another one of these," she told Narcissa.

"Not just now," Narcissa giggled. "First, I'm going to take you shopping, and I won't take no for an answer. There's the most darling little place right here in the hotel and I saw something there I know would fit you just perfectly." She tucked the wand back into its case and stuffed the entire affair back into her YSL beach bag. "Draco, honey, yoo-hoo," she called across the pool, "You look after your little friends there, we'll be back in a bit." Narcissa grabbed Molly by the hand and pulled her to her feet.

Molly didn't even begin to protest. She simply followed Narcissa to the cabana where Lucius sat, promising herself to take it slower with the next Blue Hawaii. "Lucius," she nodded.

He nodded back but said nothing.

"Hey baby." Narcissa leaned over, took off his sunglasses, and kissed him hard on the lips. "Watch my stuff for me. We'll be back."

Lucius grinned, and Molly noticed for the first time--much to her dismay--that his silver eyes were spectacularly beautiful. Why, anyone could fall in love with a man who had eyes like that....

"Don't stay away too long," he told his wife.

"You little cutie." Narcissa ran her fingers through her husband's golden hair and dropped the sunglasses on the table in front of him. "Now why would I want to do a silly thing like that."

Molly giggled. How stupid it was, really, to vilify these two! They were just adorable together. In fact, she could tell that they were absolutely crazy about each other. And how could someone who had that much passion for his own wife be evil?

Narcissa kissed Lucius one last time, then linked arms with Molly. They wandered away from the pool, toward the hotel shops. But before they got there, Molly tugged on Narcissa's arm.

"What is it, love?"

"Do you... d'you think you could teach me that bewitching spell of yours? I'd like to try it on Arthur."

"Now you're talking, sister." Narcissa took Molly by the hand and they disappeared around the corner.


***

Lucius put down the newspaper; he'd been staring at the Muggle football scores for about half an hour without absorbing any of it. Stupid Americans, they didn't even know that what they called football was in fact an entirely different game from real football, although none of it held a candle to Quidditch. He glared up at the sun, irritated at its brightness. He'd always felt a lot more comfortable in the dark. He longed for the cool foggy dampness of Britain--damn, it was hot here.

He pulled back the sleeves of his shirt, casting an annoyed glance at the tattoo inside his left forearm. Lucius considered the skull grinning back at him, snake pouring from its mouth. He went back and forth on his feelings for it many times a day. Right now it pissed him off, since what he wanted to do more than anything was jump into the pool and cool off. But that would mean exposing the Dark Mark, and with Arthur Weasley so close, it was a risk he just couldn't take. Fuck You, Voldemort! he said to himself, then closed his eyes, waiting. Every time he challenged the Dark Lord like that, there was payback, he knew it. Yep, here it was: a sharp and suffocating tightness wracked his chest, causing him to gasp for breath. It would last just long enough to be quite excruciating without doing any real physical damage--that long distance Cruciatus effect Voldemort had perfected totally sucked. "Fuck," he whispered, "All right, all right, you win, asshole, you got me, I'm yours, you know it and I know it."

Through the pain crushing his chest, he saw Arthur Weasley across the way with his twin sons. He looked to be telling them a story; they laughed appreciatively in what Lucius imagined were all the right places. Concentrate on them, he told himself, this exquisite torture will all be over soon. Think of everyday things, don't think of the pain. He couldn't imagine having seven children; the one he had kept him occupied enough, although Draco really favored his mother and who could blame him. A pang of something--was it jealousy?--cut through the agony as Lucius watched the Weasleys' interaction. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he knew it had nothing to do with him, or with Voldemort, or with anything but just enjoying their time as a family. Just being able to enjoy a vacation. His eyes filled with tears (of pain! just pain! he told himself).

Lucius shook his head as the pain slowly subsided, and a new feeling--a feeling of absolute power and the rush of energy that came with it--flowed through him. The reward after the torture, just Voldie's way of making sure Lucius remembered that with great power came great responsibility, or whatever that quote was he'd read in one of Draco's American comic books one time. Something about a boy who'd been partially transfigured into a spider. Not bad, actually, he remembered, for a Muggle to have come up with a story and a tagline like that.

He drew the sleeve of his shirt back down to his wrist as a bouncy young woman in a flowered halter top and a pair of khaki shorts drew near. He was feeling much better now; his silvery eyes glowed ever so slightly.

"Can I get you anything, sir?" she asked brightly.

Lucius raised an eyebrow, considering the offer. Did the Muggle girl realize who she was talking to? Him, Lucius Malfoy, right-hand man to Lord Voldemort, Last Remaining Descendent (or was it ancestor? he couldn't remember any more) of Salazar Slytherin--whom he swore silently he would never ever curse again, the pain was getting far too old--and soon to be Minister of Magic if everything went right. She had actually offered him anything and everything--he couldn't help but laugh. She had no idea... he might just take her up on her offer....

"Sir?" she said again, a look of impatience blossoming over her pretty face.

Lucius raised his hand to reach for her, but much to his annoyance, an image of his wife popped into his head. In his mind's eye, she was holding forth one of her many wands, shaking her head with that you wouldn't dare expression on her face. One Cruciatus curse a day was more than enough....

He swallowed hard. "Thank you," he said quietly, "A very tall glass of water with ice will do nicely."

"Ice water. You got it!" The girl bounced off, happy to have gotten her answer from the strange Englishman who came all the way to Hawaii but stayed in the shade and wouldn't swim like the other tourists. Lucius watched her go realizing rather unhappily that, when it came down to it, he served not one but two masters: Voldemort and Narcissa. He might just as well put a tattoo of her inside his other forearm.


***

Draco slumped to the side of the pool. In his haste to defend his mother, he'd completely forgotten about the ridiculous Speedo he wore. Had he remembered, he would have at least brought his towel along for the ride...

"Malfoy, are you blushing?" Harry laughed out loud.

"Damn you, Potter!" Draco hissed. He realized with a brief stab of jealousy that Ron and Harry had the cool kind of swimsuit, the ones that looked like what those oddly tall ultra-hormonal Americans wore on the basketball court. In fact, the entire male side of the Weasley family sported them--though where the money had come from to buy them, Draco had no idea.

Ron grinned. "So, Malfoy, been down in your family's dungeon so long you lost track of what's fashionable?" He elbowed Harry in the ribs; the two of them snickered heartily.

Draco hid his head in his hands. He couldn't believe that Potter and Weasley were getting the better of him. Where were those idiots Crabbe and Goyle when he needed them? "Argh!" he yelled, suddenly fierce, "SHUT IT!"

"You wish," Harry said. Then he turned to Ron: "This is excellent."

Ron nodded, a smirk playing across his face.

Draco, on the other hand, felt completely trapped. If he got up and walked back to his chair he'd be admitting defeat, not to mention having everyone stare at his barely-covered ass on the way by. If he stayed here, Potter and Weasley would just continue to torture him. It was a no-win situation. If only he knew how to apparate! Then he could just disappear, which was really all he felt like doing.

"I don't believe it, Malfoy's speechless." A fresh wave of hysterical laughter overtook Ron. "That--that suit, Malfoy, it's ridiculous."

Ginny spoke up sharply. "Stop it, Ron!" she said. "You're being so mean."

Thank you, Draco said silently, although he was relatively disgusted with himself for being grateful to any Weasley.

"Oi, Ginny, you're the one who started it." Ron had a hard time disguising his laugh as a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Speedo."

"But Ron," she whined, "It's not nice to make fun of other people. Look at how you felt with those dress robes Mum got you last year."

Ron's smile turned quickly to a glum look of despair. Then his eyes narrowed and he turned to Draco. "Yeah, you don't waste any time making fun of me when you get the chance, Malfoy. Payback's a bitch, isn't it."

Draco knew his face was still a bright shade of pink. He tried his very best to summon his father to his side for help, but Lucius was engaged in conversation with one of the servers who continuously and annoyingly circled the pool deck. You're on your own now, he thought bitterly. No Death Eaters to bully them away for you. It was time to take action. "All right, then," he said resolutely. "That's it. I'm out of here." Tiny suit or no tiny suit, he stood.

"Go on, then, Malfoy," said Harry, "we're just... well, just fucking with you." He grinned. "Come on. I packed a spare swimsuit. You can borrow it."

"No, Harry, you wouldn't!" said Ron quickly, testing his nose to make sure the bleeding had stopped.

Harry shrugged. "Come on, Ron, it's just Malfoy. Look at him--without Crabbe and Goyle, he's nothing. He's can't hurt me--it's not like he's got room to tuck a wand into that swimsuit or anything." He stood to join Draco at the side of the pool. "All right, then, Malfoy?"

"Be careful, Harry," whispered Ginny.

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Harry winked at Ginny. "Save us a spot, we'll be right back."

Ginny turned a furious shade of red as she watched Harry and Draco walk off toward the hotel.

"I don't believe it," Ron sulked, shaking his head. "Harry actually being nice to Malfoy, what's the world coming to?"

"You could take a lesson from him, then," sighed Ginny, the memory of Harry's adorable wink still fresh in her memory. "I don't think Harry Potter has a mean bone in his body."

"Malfoy does," said Ron moodily. "Why'd he have to be here, anyway."

But Fred and George took that moment to race over and jump into the pool, sending huge waves of water cascading over Ron and Ginny. As with everything else, they'd seemingly bewitched the pool water to do their bidding. Ron, up to the challenge, jumped in with his brothers, leaving Ginny soaking wet and anxiously watching the hotel door for a sign of Harry's return.


***