The Seers' Truth: A Broken Beginning

Chapter 17

Problems with the Patronus Pensieve

At lunch, Samara and Beatrice were bickering about where they were going first this weekend. Because the Sorting Hat was not working properly, Dumbledore decided to allow new students to visit other houses on the weekend. Joe announced that he wasn't going anywhere. He was sure be belonged in Gryffindor.

"Well, that isn't the point," said Samara. "It would just be fun to visit other houses. We'll never get this chance again."

"Why would anyone who got sorted into Gryffindor want to go anywhere else?" Eloise asked Colin.

Truth be told, Harry remembered how excited he was to see the Slytherin house common room when they took the Polyjuice Potion, but that could have been because he was also disguised and the possibility of getting caught was an added excitement. If he had been permitted to visit Slytherin, he wondered if he would have gone. Probably, he decided. Of course, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were different. They held absolutely no interest for him. Hufflepuff was probably boring as a stick and what do Ravenclaws do except read and study? He got enough of that with hanging out at the library with Hermione. That reminded him--

"Hey Lou," he called. "Are you visiting Ravenclaw this weekend?"

Lou raised his eyes from a book he had brought to the table with him. "Hmmm?"

"I asked if you are going anywhere this weekend?"

"Oh no," replied Lou. "Neville and I are going to the library. We're changing pets next week in Transfiguration. I don't want to make a mistake. Neville's letting me borrow Trevor. Plus, we have that research paper on Patroni for Defense."

"Is there any doubt that boy is a Ravenclaw?" Harry asked Ron.

"I don't think so," said Ron. "After he beat me in chess again, I told Neville he has to tell McGonagall."

"And?" questioned Harry.

"Neville said he would."

"He doesn't have to be a Ravenclaw," said Hermione. "Lots of Gryffindors study too, just because you two don't--"

"Hermione," said Ron, "don't tell me the Hat didn't consider Ravenclaw when it sorted you."

"Well--it did," she agreed. "But it put me in Gryffindor."

Beatrice hopped into her seat by Hermione. "Samara said she'll come with me to Hufflepuff," she said excitedly. "I finally convinced her."

"That's good," said Hermione, "but I really don't understand why you wanted her to come with you in the first place. There isn't much chance that she's a Hufflepuff, is there? You could have gone by yourself."

Beatrice pouted. "But I didn't want to go by myself," she said. "The only problem is she wants me to go to Slytherin with her later--"

Ron choked on his tea and it dribbled through his nose. "Sorry," he said grabbing a napkin.

"You can't be serious, Beatrice," said Harry. "You may never come back from Slytherin. I don't know why Samara wants to go there anyway. She's not a Slytherin--she's Muggleborn."

"Oh, I know," Beatrice agreed. "She's much too nice to be a Slytherin, but I think--" Beatrice became a little tongue tied and reached for her puffer. "I think its Draco," she said. "She met him on the train, you know, and he flew her to safety, and you have to admit," she looked at Hermione, "He's awfully good looking, even if he scares me a little."

"Scares you!" Hermione shuddered. Just imagining sharing a broom with Malfoy made her want to puke. Thinking of puking, "I don't think Malfoy really will want to see Samara after she cursed him," said Hermione.

"Hey, Hermione," Harry teased, "you better not slap him again. You might have Samara to contend with."

"Slap who?" asked Edward, who had just wandered over to the Gryffindor table with his food. He had spent the last few minutes at Slytherin, talking to his brother.

"Malfoy," said Ron.

Edward squeezed in between Hermione and Ginny. Ginny stopped talking to Samara long enough to smile at him. "Hi," she said.

Edward leaned across Ginny. "I hear you're going to Slytherin this weekend," he said to Samara.

"I thought I might," Samara replied.

"Watch out for my evil twin."

Samara giggled.

"Maybe I'll see you there later. I'm going to Ravenclaw in the morning, but should be at Slytherin before lunch."

"Ravenclaw?" Harry said, surprised.

"I'd check out Ravenclaw if I could," said Hermione. "Padma says they have an awesome library and none of it is restricted as long as you can do a stunning charm and you are not alone."

"Exactly," said Edward who was hurriedly eating his lunch.

"Well, I have to run. I have to give my Prefect's log to McGonagall before class this afternoon," Hermione said. She stood and began to gather up her books for class.

"What!" said Ron. "That little book you've been carrying around with you, deducting points from everyone?"

"I haven't been deducting points from everyone," said Hermione haughtily. "I've given some too."

Ron was still frowning at her.

"All ready for Defense?" Beatrice asked whoever was listening.

Most of the Gryffindors moaned.

"Is there any other class?" asked Harry. "I feel like my life is Defense and it's only the first week. Honestly, Ginny, I don't know how you do it. Two Defenses classes in one day! How was your ADADA class this morning, anyway?"

"Ok," said Ginny. "I don't have that many notes. We mostly just practiced using wandless magic."

"Ginny," interrupted Ron, "everyone knows wandless magic is dark."

"Everyone does not know that," snapped Ginny. She looked at her watch and got up to leave. "I'm going to class."

"I'll come with you," said Edward, even though he had only eaten half of the food on his plate.

Harry watched them go with some reservations.

"It's Ok," said Samara. "Wandless magic isn't really all dark. My book--"

"Your book," interrupted Harry, "is Dark."

"Hermione doesn't think it's the book," said Samara. "She said--"

"I don't care what Hermione said. She's wrong," said Harry shortly and picked up his books and went to class.

===

Later that day, they met in DADA.

Snape seemed to be in an almost pleasant mood, for Snape that is. He didn't even glare at Beatrice when she puffed her puffer. He was almost nice to Neville when he couldn't even get a wisp of smoke to come out of his wand. He said for him to practice with Hermione!

"I don't expect a full Patronus yet," he said. "You won't get it on the first try and probably not today, but I do expect an effort. What I am really looking for is concentration. Any bit of white smoke from your wand will get full marks."

That didn't seem bad at all, thought Harry. Was this Snape?

Then Snape shielded the front of the room with a sound containment barrier and began taking students one at a time to show what they could do. The first was Malfoy. Although they couldn't hear what Snape was saying, they could see him talking to Malfoy. Malfoy shook his head and tried to push Snape away from him.

A few moments later, Malfoy came back to the room looking paler than usual, his gray eyes shining. "You can do it," he said to Crabbe. With a sigh, he put his head down on the desk and spoke to no one.

Crabbe was next. A number of the students in the rest of the room were looking at the front instead of practicing.

Snape dropped the silencing charm for a moment, and shouted angrily, "You are supposed to be working!"

Immediately several streams of white smoke poured from various wands.

"Bloody hell," muttered Samara. "I thought it would at least last the whole class." She turned to Hermione. "Do you know how to strengthen a cheering charm?" she asked.

Ron choked, "Snape? You tried to cheer Snape?"

"Samara," said Hermione in a worried whisper. "You can't do that to a teacher! Especially Snape."

"It's better than setting him on fire," snapped Samara. "And what do you mean I can't? I already did, but it's wearing off. Oh, I'm so sick of him grouching at us and he really looked like he needed it--"continued Samara, and then she shut her mouth as she noticed Snape glancing her way. It only took her a week of losing points to realize she couldn't win with Snape. She concentrated on trying to get the white Patronus smoke to come out of her wand.

Harry wasn't too worried. He managed to get a Patronus even with a real dementor. He should be able to handle this. He spent his time trying to help Neville, who was on the verge of hysteria because he couldn't do it now even though he had gotten some smoke to form in the common room. Colin on the other hand, couldn't seem to stop his wand from smoking, but nothing like a Patronus formed. After several more people visited Snape in the front of the room, Harry wasn't so sure of himself. Dean came back looking thoroughly shaken and eating a piece of chocolate. Why would they need chocolate? There was no real dementor. Right?

"Who would have thought it," said Ron. "Snape, giving out sweets. Maybe the cheering charm wasn't such a bad idea."

Ron came back looking like he had just escaped from Azkaban or The Forbidden Forest. He sank wearily into his chair.

"Ginny," he said softly.

Looking white-faced before she even got to Snape, Ginny proceeded to the front of the room. But she returned looking much better. "I got it," she said excitedly.

"Well, we knew you could do it," Ron said. "You held up a long time under that diary, and, after all, this is just Snape."

"So, what's your Patronus?" asked Harry. "I didn't see it."

"Ah-h, you're next," Ginny said to Harry.

Harry walked to the front of the room and stood face to face with Snape. Black eyes bored into green ones. Neither wanted to look away from the other. Potter fingered his wand in his pocket, and at last, his eyes fell on the Pensieve on Snape's desk.

"Potter," Snape said. "What I have here is a Pensieve." Potter recognized that, but Snape was continuing. "Not just any Pensieve," he said, "but a charmed Pensieve. Normally people put thoughts in a Pensieve to get rid of them, but not this Pensieve. The charm will hold the thought, which you put in the Pensieve, in your mind, just like a dementor would.

"All you have to do is put your hand on the rim of the Pensieve and nothing but that thought will fill your mind. It will hold a single memory and you will look at it, feel it, and experience it while you form the beginnings of your Patronus. Since you have experienced dementors, you know what memory comes to mind when you face them. You have a choice. You can give me that memory to put in the Pensieve or a different one, considering your experience last year. I want you to think about it--"

The thought was already there even though Harry tried to push it away. Choking--overwhelming guilt--His fault--His parents dying--Cedric--everyone dying for him--He saw himself as a baby--His father kissed him and gave him to his mother. Voldemort was at the door. His father--raising his wand--against Voldemort--fighting against Voldemort--and Voldemort took the wand--Effortlessly--laughing--

A stunning spell knocked Harry to the floor. "Potter," Snape growled. "I know you can do this, unless Lupin is a liar."

The guilt lay on Harry like a monstrous rock, pinning him down. Great sobs shook him as he knelt in front of Snape. He couldn't speak. He could barely even breathe, so great was the weight of his guilt. As he gulped for air, another stunning spell hit him full in the chest.

"Get up," said Snape in his low monotone. Somehow, the words pierced Harry's consciousness.

Harry looked from Snape to the pensive. "He took my Dad's wand," Harry said. Tears were streaming down his face.

Harry could look at the Pensieve without feeling the terrible remorse, without being a part of it. He was sad, but in a detached sort of way, but if he touched it, all that changed. If he touched it, the feelings engulfed him with a ragged intensity that rivaled any feeling he had ever had.

"You need to touch it, Potter," growled Snape. "We don't have all day. There are other students in the class."

"I know how to do this," Harry protested. "I could let someone else--"

"Or I could try your friend's 'Adhere' charm on your hand. Don't argue with me."

Still Harry hesitated.

"Potter, you need this more than anyone else in this room. You and I both know that," Snape's voice was low and even, exactly like it was when Harry had overheard him in the library saying 'give Potter to Voldemort.' "We both know that, don't we?"

Still Harry hesitated. Why was this so hard to do with Snape? It was easier with Lupin. But of course, then, Cedric Diggory was still alive then too, and he could think about the Quidditch cup without the Triwizard Cup trickling into his consciousness.

Snape raised his wand.

"Don't," said Harry, "I'll do it." He tried to still the shaking in his hands.

With his left hand he reached out to the Pensieve. Think about the Quidditch cup, he demanded of himself. Think happy memories.

More than anything, he wanted to shut his eyes against what he saw in the Pensieve, but the charm would not let him. It played the memory of Cedric's death and Voldemort's laughter. He again felt the fear--the absolute certainty--that he was going to die here. Then, the gut wrenching feelings of hopelessness were overwhelmed with guilt at Cedric's death. He deserved to die. Too many people had already died to protect him and Voldemort raised his wand. Sudden fiery pain took his breath away, and then it was over.

"Send Granger," said Snape. He dropped the memory back into Harry's mind like a lump of volcanic ash. It burned there, and he wanted to pick at it.

"Did I?"

"A pitiful little wisp of smoke," said Snape derisively as he cleared the Pensieve for the next victim. "Go. Send in Miss Granger. I don't have all day."

Harry went back to his seat. "Hermione, you're next," he said before he sank into the chair and laid his head on the table. His head was pounding. His skin still felt hot. Every bone in his body ached simply from the memory of the Cruciatus Curse, and Snape had stopped him almost as soon as Voldemort started the curse. Had Snape realized what was coming? Of course he did, Harry thought, he could see the Pensieve.

A horrible thought assaulted him. What if he couldn't do the Patronus any more? Cedric wasn't in his memory when he had done this with Lupin. And how on earth could he hold any happy memory through the memory of the Cruciatus Curse? He couldn't even stop shaking now, from the memory of the flames of Crucio--and it was just a memory. How could his pitiful Quidditch cup memory be strong enough?

"Eloise?" said Hermione in a small voice as she returned to her desk.

Harry glanced up at his friend. "Are you alright?" he asked Hermione.

She nodded, but she didn't look alright. She looked pale as death. A few minutes later, Eloise returned crying hysterically. She sank into her seat and didn't tell anyone else to go to Snape so Snape dropped the shield momentarily and barked, "Longbottom!"

Neville, visibly shaken, scrambled to the front of the room. "It'll be Ok," Hermione whispered to Neville. Hermione and Harry looked at each other.

After a long silence they both glanced up at the front where Neville and Snape were. It was obvious that Neville was sobbing. Like with Harry, Snape seemed to have to convince Neville to put his hand back on the Pensieve. Amazingly, a solid spout of white smoke shot out of his wand.

Eyes red and face blotchy from tears, Neville returned to the class. "Edward," he said and promptly fainted.

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