Moving Company

8. Transitions

Snuffles,

I know you requested contact to be kept as small as possible, yet I don't really know who I could write to so I hope you don't mind too badly.

I think my friendship with Ron is over now. During our Quidditch match yesterday he purposely ran into me with his broom to keep me from getting the Snitch. It didn't work since Madame Hooch called the penalty just a second after he got away from me. Ron's mum wasn't too happy with that, Ron got a Howler today about it.

I just don't get why he did it, Snuffles. Even the excuse of Ron wanting his House to win seems kind of thin. It's like he's completely changed since we got Re-Sorted. I've tried giving him a chance but it just seems to keep getting worse. I don't feel like I want to try anymore. I guess that's it then. It's bad because he was my first true friend, but how could a friend treat me like he has?

All the DADA stuff is going well, I'm working on learning Impenetrâbilis and I'm slowly getting there. Concentration headaches hurt like mad though, but they don't seem so bad each time I practice a little more. Are all layered spells that hard? I have to write an essay on power in witches and wizards and the effects it has on spells for Snape. I'm not really sure how to go about doing it, although I haven't had time to go to the library yet. I'll probably go tomorrow (Monday) and start looking.

I haven't had a chance to tell you before, so I guess is now a good time as any…I think I might be gay. I've been seeing Blaise since the first Hogsmeade weekend. We're taking things slow…and yeah.

I'm due to meet Blaise for a walk around the lake in a little bit. I'm feeling a bit lost about him, actually. I still like him, but now I'm finding myself starting to like Draco, but even more then the way I like Blaise. I don't know what to think of that. I think he may like me too, but the whole thing is too weird for me to think about so I'm not.

I know I'm ending this letter abruptly, but I've got to get going if I'm going to meet Blaise on time.

Take care,
Harry

PS. I bet you wouldn't recognize me now. The Hogsmeade trip resulted in a whole new wardrobe, new glasses and a haircut. I apparently now look "smashing" and girls drool over me, or at least so I'm told. At least it's not too blatant since Draco deliberately let Lavender Brown overhear that I was seeing Blaise, but I know people are still looking. Did that ever happen to you? What did you do about it?

Harry rolled up the scroll, tied it to Hedwig, gave her a treat and let her go on her way, nervously biting his lip as she flew out of site, hoping that his godfather would be okay with his news.

* * *
It was calm day, and the lake was flat, except from the occasional ripples of water caused by the giant squid swimming by. Harry had grabbed a few pastries from the house elves and the two of them sat on the shore. It was a comfortable silence, at least until the pastries had disappeared.

"Want to talk about Ron?" Blaise ventured.

Harry picked up a rock near him and skipped it out onto the lake. "I guess so. Just don't know what to say, really."

"You're hurt because you can't be sure that the foolish attack on you during the game was strictly for in-game reasons."

Harry nodded.

"I played pick up games in his backyard this summer. He'd never done anything like that before. I don't even think he fouled anyone. Now…he's been acting odd since I was placed here. I guess I was right in not telling him that the hat originally wanted me in Slytherin."

Blaise looked surprised. "You never told him?"

Harry shook his head. "The only person I ever told before that first night was Dumbledore."

"You didn't trust him?"

Harry shrugged. "Why did he have to know? I know that he's always had a prejudice against the House so why admit it? It's not like any of us knew that this was going to happen. And, I wanted to deny it."

"Deny it?"

"I didn't find out I was a wizard until I turned 11. Hagrid told me about it and warned me about how all the Dark Wizards came from Slytherin and stuff like that. I met Draco in Diagon Alley soon after and his arrogant tone in offering his powerful friendship or something like that didn't help my opinion any. Then when we got sorted that first night. I begged not to be put in here, and after making really, really sure that I didn't want to be a Slytherin it placed me in Gryffindor. So. You know. Not exactly proud of that moment now."

Blaise nodded without commenting.

Harry finally asked, "Were you told that you were going to be in Slytherin by your parents?"

"Not really. My family's had some relatives in here, but just as many, if not more, in Ravenclaw. My father hoped Slytherin so I could make friends with…" He paused, knowing that Harry still wasn't overly enamored of the connections most of the House had with the Death Eaters. Those conversations were always held outside of Harry's hearing. No one tried to bring him to the Death Eaters, and Harry didn't stop them from discussing it. It was an uneasy truce at best, and would always be a wedge between him and the others.

"Yeah." Harry knew full well what Blaise was talking about. "But anyway, yes, I never told Ron. Guess I made the right choice. I doubt he would've been my friend if I'd told him that."

"Some friend he turned out to be."

Harry pulled up his arms around his knees. "He was a good friend. He was also one of the first true friends I ever had. When I went to school with Dudley, I was more often the moving target. Luckily I run fast. So. Losing Ron…I feel alone. I mean, you and the others are great, but it's not the same, because you know."

Blaise nodded, edging closer to Harry. The kiss was soft, tentative. Harry's eyes widened in surprise as he felt Blaise's lips upon his; it was over before he was fully aware of what happened.

Harry colored slightly, and looked at the lake in between glances at Blaise. He smiled at Blaise. He'd liked the kiss, but did he like Blaise enough that way?

They spent the rest of the time sitting in mostly comfortable silence.

* * *
"There you are," Draco commented as Harry walked into the potions classroom. "I was wondering where you were. I guess we have no first year brats joining us this week?"

It took a few seconds for Harry to shoot Draco a glance. "They aren't all brats."

"Those Gryffindors were."

He nodded absently, "They were. Not anymore."

Draco took a long look at Harry. "Something happen?"

Harry shrugged. "Sort of. Not really."

Draco opened some notes. "Well, it did or it didn't. You can't have it both ways." He paused. "It's about you and Blaise, isn't it." A second later, "I know it is, that's got to be it!"

Harry gave him a look.

"Well, you were fine before you went on that walk with him earlier."

"And I'm still fine."

"No you aren't."

"How would you know?"

Draco puffed up, looking more self-important than normal. "I know these things…besides, if you won't tell me I'll go ask Blaise."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Bastard."

"I'm so wounded."

Harry sighed. Draco could be almost as insufferable as Ron or Hermione when it came to not sharing information that he felt he had a right to know. "All right. Wekindofkissed."

Draco's face drew tight before a forced smile appeared on it. "Really now. I'm sure Blaise is a great kisser."

"No snide remarks?"

"Why should I make one? I mean. It happens. I'm sure you enjoyed it and all that."

"You feeling all right, Draco?"

"Yes, of course. Now, we have that exam coming up, and Snape let me know that we're going to make a shrinking potion, and he told me to make sure that you wouldn't mess it up."

Harry was definitely confused now. Slytherins were decidedly odd people.

* * *
When Harry entered the DADA classroom Tuesday night, the first thing Harry noticed was that Dumbledore was chatting with Snape.

"Ah, hello, Harry."

"Good evening, Sir. Are you watching the lesson tonight?" He couldn't ever recall a time when Dumbledore had checked in on any of his lessons in the past four years.

"I am Mr. Potter, as soon as Professor Snape here finishes the preparations."

Harry tilted his head. "Preparations, sir?"

"We'll be working with a few spells tonight where I thought it might be best if I had some help if something were to happen."

That didn't help Harry much. "What kind of preparations?"

Snape started muttering s spell, as Dumbledore explained. "The walls of this room have a minimal amount of shielding on them, so if a curse or a hex goes awry, the wall absorb the spell so it doesn't 'bounce,' so to speak. He is reinforcing those spells just in case, as well as casting a spell to dampen sound so others outside can't hear what is going on in here. Now, please lock the door would you? We don't want any peeping toms interrupting our work here."

"Yes, sir." Harry went and shut the door. The lock clicked into place, and Harry turned ready to work.

He wasn't prepared to see Snape's wand pointed at him, while he calmly uttered, "Crucio!"

Harry got the Recurvo up, but as he struggled with the Impenetrâbilis the curse hit him full force. Knees buckling, he fell to the ground screaming as it felt like every bone in his body broke simultaneously, every nerve throbbing in pain. He felt Dumbledore's hand on his shoulder and Harry shivered under the touch.

"Are you all right?" He draped a blanket over Harry's shoulders, and guided Harry to a padded chair, before giving him a draught to numb some of the pain.

"I'll. I'll be fine."

"You did quite well, Mr. Potter." Snape commented.

Bitterly, Harry replied, "I still got hit."

"You did."

"But you were also in the midst of casting Impenetrâbilis and from what Professor Snape told me, your shielding appears to be further along then you were last week. You are learning this at astonishing speeds, Mr. Potter."

Harry nodded, pleased by the comment from Dumbledore, but still irked that he got hit in the first place. "Why not wait until I'd learned it?"

"Lord Voldemort would not be so courteous, so why should I? I can't test you with anything else: Avada Kevadara for obvious reasons, and you can cast off the Imperious. Plus, I'm sure that this will serve as great incentive to keep working on it when you can. The sooner you learn this spell, the safer you'll be."

Harry nodded. Snape did have a point, even if he disagreed about the incentive value of the Cruciatus curse.

Dumbledore changed the subject, slightly. "I think you'll find the Impenetrâbilis easier to cast if you relax, Harry. You're trying to force it on top of Recurvo and you'll never get it cast that way." He paused. "It's been so long since I've learned that spell that it's hard to remember what my mentor told me. Ah, well, it'll come to me in my sleep I suppose. Just keep practicing and I'm sure you'll get it, Harry." He turned to Snape, "I presume I'm no longer needed this evening?"

Snape nodded. "Thank you, Headmaster for your time tonight."

He nodded. "It's not a problem. When Harry is ready to be tested again, do let me know."

"I will."

Dumbledore nodded. "Goodnight to you, gentlemen." He left.

Snape looked at Harry. "You will be tested again sometime soon, I wish for you to continue practicing in whatever free time you can find. Are the headaches still problematic?"

"A little, sir."

"Remind me tomorrow and I'll give you something to remedy that."

Harry nodded.

"Since you seem to be progressing quite well on your own, I thought tonight that we might start discussing some of the Dark spells that we'll be begin to cover next week, but before we start, I have a very important question to ask of you. Would you be willing to learn the Unforgivable Curses?"

Harry frowned, "Why would I want to do that. I have no plan to ever actually use them, or to end up in Azkaban, for that matter."

"You have no plans to, but that does not mean you'll never have a need to. One day, out on the battlefield, an Avada Kevadara just might save your life. You don't need to tell me today, but I need an answer by the end of the week so that I may make suitable preparations for a practice room."

Harry bit his lip, "Yes, sir."

Snape took a good look at Harry, and sighed. "You are in no shape to cast tonight and I will not have you injuring either one of us because you're too fatigued to cast properly. Return to the dormitory and go straight to bed. Rest assured I would find out if you disobeyed."

Harry bowed slightly. "Yes, Professor." He hadn't been planning on doing any homework anyway; his body still ached all over

Harry left the classroom, ignoring the whispers of the few students still out, trying to avoid starting any conversations as he returned to Slytherin. As luck would have it, Harry heard his named called out, to find Hermione at a brisk pace to catch up with him.

"Hello, Hermione." He hoped the greeting sounded better aloud, then it did in his head.

"Harry! What happened to you? You look awful! You should go to the infirmary right away!"

"I'll be all right, Hermione, promise. Just practicing some Defense things."

"Like what? I don't know what Snape is teaching you but it can't be that bad, and besides your class isn't until Thursday!" Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff had their classes the day before. While ideally, the students were supposed to be learning the same things, in reality the two courses had very different focuses. Flitwick was much more concerned about defense, while Snape leaned toward offense. This class was the only time in recent Hogwarts history that anyone (who wasn't in Slytherin) recalled actually wanting to be in a class of Snape's.

"I can't really tell you right now, Hermione. It's not that I don't want to, but Professor Snape has ordered me to bed and I wouldn't want to have even more work to do because I didn't follow his instructions."

"Are you sure you're feeling all right? I mean, you're actually concerned about following the rules for once."

Harry made a face. "Funny, Hermione."

"Well, I'll just walk you to your dorm then and you can tell me on your way."

Damn.

"No, no, it's all right. It's almost curfew anyway, I wouldn't want you to lose points for being out past it."

Hermione sighed. "Honestly, Harry, when did I become not trustworthy?"

"It's not that, I promise! I'm just…I can't." He sighed, conceding defeat. "Next time our free periods match, we'll talk, all right?"

They stopped at the point where their paths diverged. "All right, Harry. Feel better."

He made his escape and true to his word, as soon as he reached the Slytherin dungeons, he went straight for his room..

"You look like shit, Harry." Draco stated bluntly as he entered. Crabbe nodded in agreement. What a surprise.

"You have such a way with words," commented Blaise.

"Thanks for telling me something I didn't know, Draco." Harry muttered.

"What did Snape do to you tonight?" Blaise asked, concerned.

Harry still didn't have a good answer for them, so he didn't say anything at all, instead opting to change into his nightclothes. "As much as I'd love to not talk about this, I was ordered to go straight to bed, and quite honestly I need the sleep." He yawned as if to make the point why even clearer.

Sleep came to him moments later, amidst hushed whispers about what Snape and Harry were up to.

* * *
The next day, during his free period, Hermione found him in the Great Hall where he was working on the essay about a wizard's power and it's effect on certain spells. She flipped one of the many open books cover up so she could see it's title.

She read the black lettering slowly, Power and the Dark Arts: Why Squibs Can't Cast Avada Kevdara. Another book read Power Boosting for Layered Spells. A third book read: Squibs, A Treatise on the Near Powerless. "Interesting essay you're working on. Whose it for?"

Harry looked up after finishing his sentence. "It's for Professor Snape. I asked him about power last week after DADA and he assigned me an essay on the subject."

"That wasn't very nice of him," she observed.

Harry shrugged. "This is Snape after all. And I disrupted the last DADA lesson so this was my punishment."

"Serves you right, then. You know better then to interrupt one of his classes."

Harry just rolled his eyes. Four years still hadn't broken Hermione of the rather annoying lectures she gave on behaving in class; even if she herself was more willing to break rules when it served her purpose.

She sat down beside him at the table. A few Slytherins gave her looks, but neither Harry nor Hermione paid them any mind. Her voice lowered. "So, what happened to you last night?"

With this many people around there was no way he'd admit to Snape using the Cruciatus curse. He was still hesitant to tell Hermione. If he told her, there was a good chance Ron would find out, and it'd be all over. There's no way that Mrs. Weasley would stand for Harry getting attacked with Unforgivable Curses.

His voice was equally low. "I'm taking some advanced DADA lessons in exchange for teaching DADA to the first years. We were practicing with some more powerful curses and those things hurt like mad."

"You're learning advanced defense?" Her eyes clearly showed jealousy at not being able to take those lessons. "Lucky you. Are the other student teachers doing it as well?"

Harry shook his head. "I'm not sure what else they got in exchange. Snape and Dumbledore figured it'd be good for me to learn this stuff. Save my life and all."

She nodded. "Just be careful, would you? And if Professor Snape gets out of hand, tell Dumbledore. He'll put a stop to it."

Harry nodded. "Of course."

"I'll let you get back to your essay. If you need any help…"

Harry smiled. "I know where to find you."

* * *
After that conversation with Hermione, Harry began to lose track of time. Things were finally settling into a semi-normal routine. Homework loads got heavier and injured first years became more common as they started practicing curses and bad control and aim turned almost harmless curses into something slightly more painful. The Quidditch season was in full swing as Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw beat Hufflepuff, and after a particularly long game, Slytherin beat Gryffindor.

Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts was still proving to be Harry's most interesting class. Although it took getting hit by Cruciatus one more time before he finally got Impenetrâbilis to work properly, Harry was now untouchable during regular defense lessons. His casting time on the full spell still left much to be desired but he could now do Recurvo in a heartbeat.

He'd finally consented to learning the Unforgivable Curses because he had recognized the logic in Snape's argument. So now, interwoven with lessons about Dark curses, he'd begun to learn Cruciatus, but it'd still be a long time before he'd be able to cast it. The magic behind the three curses was layered and complex; he now understood why "Moody" had said that all the students could try and cast the Killing Curse and he might only get a nosebleed. In order to understand it all, Snape had given him a stack of books to read up on. He'd tried hiding the books at first, but gave that up quickly enough after he'd forgotten to put Curse Your Enemies, Live Another Day back into his pack, instead leaving it on the table in the Slytherin common room. To his surprise, the discovery that he was learning Dark curses was a non-event. A few people shrugged. Others congratulated him for seeing the power of Dark Arts. Ever practical, Draco had asked to borrow the book because he'd misplaced his own copy.