Be All My Secrets Remembered

Chapter Four: City of Lights

July 1976

Whatever Lily Evans had thought to find at the top of the bell tower of the Cathédrale de Notre Dame, it was most assuredly not the familiar black-haired boy gazing moodily across the city of Paris. "Sirius Black, what a surprise."

He turned, seeming startled at first, but offered her a polite nod. "Lily Evans. An equal surprise. What brings you to Paris?"

"My mother and father enrolled me in a summer abroad programme. They thought I ought to make myself useful between terms, and my French was in dire need of improvement." She tilted her head slightly to one side. "And what brings you here, if I'm permitted to ask?"

"You're permitted, of course. My French also happens to be in dire need of improvement," he replied.

"Liar. You speak it like a native, at least you did when you were grilling Monsieur Flamel in that special lecture he gave with Professor Agrippa on medieval potion-making," Lily narrowed her eyes. "You don't have to lie, you know. All you need to say is you'd rather not talk about it."

"I'm not allowed to have a change of scene?" he pressed further. "Come on, Evans, at least give me the benefit of the doubt every now and then. I'm not a complete scoundrel."

"Only mostly a scoundrel?" she shot back.

Sirius considered for a moment before nodding. "That's accurate."

"Then, as for giving you the benefit of the doubt, I recall doing so once and you vanished off the face of the earth for two months. I'm not doing it again."

"You've still not forgiven me?" Sirius enquired, somewhat surprised. "But that was aeons ago. I guess that explains why you refuse to speak to me most of the time."

Lily sighed. "I just wish you had explained yourself. I don't suppose you'd do it now, seeing as it was aeons ago." That last with no small hint of bitterness.

He had the grace to look sheepish, if not quite ashamed. "Well...if you don't mind hearing the explanation a few years after the fact, I can tell you. I don't suppose my reasons for concealment apply anymore...how about over coffee at Le Vieux Notre-Dame?"

"Really?" she studied him doubtfully. "Sirius Black invites me for coffee in order to explain his actions? I thought that was behaviour only reserved for the prettiest girls from Beauxbatons."

At that, he cracked a smile. "You're not at all bad-looking, Evans, and besides, I think I owe you this." He paused. "And an apology."

"You're apologising?" Her eyes widened. "Is the Apocalypse nigh?"

"Might well be," he replied good-naturedly. "But hopefully not before coffee."

"No." She nodded, a smile slowly dawning. "I think it can wait till after that."

She followed him down the tightly wound staircase that spilled out onto the Place de Notre-Dame, only now starting to fill with eager tourists. A glance at her watch told her that it was ten in the morning. They entered the café just steps away from the South Tower and Lily did her level best not to react to the flirtatious looks thrown Sirius' way by the girl behind the counter and the accompanying narrowed eyes in her direction when Sirius asked for two cups of coffee and two pains-au-chocolat. He, typically, did not notice.

Lily rolled her eyes. It had come as a shock to her that Sirius--whose family she knew to be at the very centre of wizarding society--could masquerade so effectively as a Muggle. Had she not recognised his face, he would have been just another person at Notre-Dame. But then again, he had been one of the brighter students in Muggle Studies, from what she had heard, despite Remus Lupin's throwaway remark that Sirius had only chosen the subject to irritate his family. And there was much about Sirius that she did not know.

"So?" she finally asked when they had seated themselves at a corner table. "Shall we have at it, then?"

Sirius took a sip of coffee. "Do you remember the last time we talked like this? At the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade after third-year exams?"

"Yes."

"My cousin Narcissa--still in Slytherin at the time, and who was and still is more than somewhat empty-headed--took it upon herself to inform my mother that I had been seen with a girl." He grimaced. "Mother, upon learning who the aforementioned girl was, did not take it well. Though she did oblige me by not telling my father. I'd never have heard the end of it if she had."

"I've never even met your mother! And it wasn't as though we were...well..." she covered her blush by taking a bite of the pastry. "I don't understand."

"Mother has this theory, you see." Bitterness sharpened the words and his eyes seemed to ice over. "Members of her family ought only to socialise with pure-blooded wizards."

"And I'm Muggle-born. Of course. So you couldn't possibly speak to me again...except perhaps in another country where nobody knew who you were." Lily stood slowly. "I've heard enough, Black. You are just as arrogant as I thought." Turning on her heel, she began to walk away.

"I've left, Lily." She stopped at the sound of his voice, wearied and seeming far older than sixteen, and the almost guilty slip of her first name. "I refused to listen to her and she's disowned me. Or I suppose I've disowned myself since I didn't give her the option."

"You...?" She glanced back at him. "You're not joking, are you?"

"Quite." He laughed then, harshly. "If you don't believe me, ask Lupin or Potter. They saw the whole thing. I made the mistake of bringing them to a family occasion and my charming brother announced oh-so-proudly that Lupin was half-blooded." His eyes had focused on some indeterminate point on the wallpaper. "Mother told me to remove them from the house. I told her that if they went, so did I." After a pause, "And that was that. I've been here since then."

"Oh Sirius." It was the first time she had used his first name since their third year at Hogwarts. "I had no idea...why on earth didn't you tell me the truth?"

"I didn't want to. I was too ashamed of it...it was just so much easier to pretend I'd forgotten about you. And at the time, letting you hate me was far easier than having you pity me."

Lily sank back into the chair. "How infernally stupid of you."

"I won't argue that," he replied with a hint of a smile. "You were right when you said I was arrogant. And arrogance often comes with a nice dose of stupidity."

"Have you ever tried not being arrogant?" she enquired, only half-teasing.

"It's one of the many Black family curses, I'm afraid." Sirius kept his face perfectly straight. "Along with good looks, high-strung dispositions, and a tendency toward being workaholics."

"And yet somehow you only possess the one out of those four," retorted Lily. "You seem to have avoided the majority of your family's curses. I believe that deserves congratulations."

"You're cruel, Evans." The smile belied the words. "I'll have you know I do work. It just happens to be when nobody can see me. No point in ruining my reputation."

"Even so, considering you're always seen somewhere, you can't possibly work all that much. You and Potter both," she added.

"Speaking of Potter..."

"Don't even start." Lily cut him off with a warning look. "I never was and continue not to be interested in him."

"Then why did you mention him? You didn't have to," Sirius pointed out. "You want to hear about him. I can see it."

"Oh really?" she leaned across the table until their foreheads nearly touched. "And why would I want to hear about any other boy when I was in Paris with Sirius Black?"

"Because you thought Sirius Black was an arrogant prat?" he offered, earning himself a whack on the shoulder. "Ow!"

"You deserved it. And though I do think you're an arrogant prat, Potter's even worse." She settled back into her chair and took a delicate sip of coffee. "And besides, it would do irreparable harm to your reputation as the Casanova of our year if I were to choose him when you were on offer."

"Who says I'm on offer?" he challenged. "Besides, you're not at all interested in me."

"No, I'm not. Though I'll admit I considered it for about thirty seconds when I thought it might make Potter leave me alone."

"You really are desperate, aren't you?" By this point, Sirius was laughing helplessly. "He's really not that bad. In fact, compared to me, he's an angel."

"You and Remus both! What is wrong with you boys?" Lily threw up her hands in a gesture of frustration.

"What did M---Lupin have to say about it?"

"What were you about to call him?" she asked. "And don't say nothing, otherwise I'll throw this coffee at you. I know he's...I saw him one night when he came back from the Shrieking Shack."

Sirius blinked. "Moony. That's what we call him."

"I guessed something of the sort. I've heard you call him that before, anyway. You're not very good at keeping secrets, you lot," she observed mildly. "At least not in terms of names. You're very good at keeping other sorts of secrets."

"We have to be, after all. Can't have it getting around that there's a werewolf at Hogwarts," Sirius pointed out.

"What does Padfoot mean? Or any of the other names? His makes perfect sense to me, but the others are complete mysteries." She finished the cup of coffee and took another bite of the pastry.

"I can't give away all my secrets," Sirius replied with a grin. "However, back to my previous question. What did Lupin have to say about you and Potter?"

"Just that Potter was interested and that he wasn't as immature as he seems to be. I will admit, after that shameful performance involving Severus Snape, I hope he's not as immature as he seems to be." She frowned. "You were there too."

"I was."

"You were laughing."

"You would be correct in that observation," Sirius replied, all innocence. "Though I feel I ought to point out that Snivellus wasn't particularly keen on your standing up for him."

Lily sighed. "I don't know what the matter is with him. He's so moody...literally switches in minutes from being perfectly civil to being rude."

"I can give you chapter and verse, if you'd like." Sirius began to count off on his fingers. "He's a git. He's pathetic. He's got no talents of his own and therefore looks down on other people rather than allow anyone to realise he's hopeless..."

"He's not that bad," Lily protested. "I think you've got rather a biased view."

"I find him repulsive." Sirius shrugged.

"Obviously. I doubt you're putting this on for my benefit." Suddenly, she smiled. "Unless...you and he are trying to make the world believe you're enemies. An ingenious plan."

"Ours is a forbidden love," he drawled sarcastically. "Very funny, Evans."

"I think so. In fact, I find it hilarious."

"You would," he shot back, managing not to smile quite as much as he would have liked. "I've missed you, Evans."

"And I've missed you," she murmured. "More than I'd have liked to admit."

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

They remained in the café for about two more hours before Lily insisted she had to start walking back toward the Latin Quarter if she didn't want to be late for an afternoon lecture. Still laughing as they entered the sun-splashed Place de Notre-Dame, Sirius found himself hailed from near the cathedral doors.

"Sirius! Qu'est-ce qu'on doit faire pour te trouver?"

Lily stepped back at the sudden waterfall of French from the impeccably dressed blonde that had just addressed Sirius. The two conversed swiftly for several seconds before Sirius reached back and took Lily's arm. "Lily Evans, Eliane Raimbaut."

"A pleasure to meet you," the older girl smiled pleasantly enough, though Lily noted the possessive glare she threw in Sirius' direction. "You are from Hogwarts, then?"

"Yes. I can only assume you're from Beauxbatons?" Lily queried coolly enough, though her mixed curiosity and amusement was almost too much to bear.

"I graduated last year, yes," Eliane replied with a delicate gesture in the direction of a large building on the other side of the square. "I've been working as a translator for Le Ministère de la Sorcérie here in Paris. Sirius seems to like the Ile de la Cité, so I guessed I would find him here."

"Lily's studying here for the summer," Sirius explained breezily, "and I was just going to walk her back to La Sorbonne."

"Ah." A frown appeared between Eliane's flawlessly groomed brows. "The Muggle Université?"

"Yes. I thought I'd try to improve my French," Lily remarked. "It seemed a useful thing to do. But now, I really will be late if I don't hurry."

"Of course. We can take the Métro if you'd prefer?" Sirius offered.

"That might be better than trying to walk from here." Lily held out her hand. "C'était un plaisir de faire votre connaissance, Eliane."

"Et la votre aussi," Eliane looked none too happy at Sirius' departure but seemed to accept it with reasonably good grace, shaking Lily's hand firmly. "When will you be back, Sirius?"

"I need to stop by the bookstore and I'll probably get sidetracked, so...let's say five o'clock?" He flashed her a smile.

"Very well. I'll see you then." Turning on one spike heel, she strolled from the Place toward the former medieval prison in whose dungeons was housed the French equivalent of the Ministry of Magic.

"Do you live with her?" Lily asked pointedly.

Sirius had the grace to look somewhat chastened. "Yes."

"Oh Black, you needn't look so embarrassed. I'd have thought you of all people would barely bat an eyelash at living in Paris with a lovely former Beauxbatons student," she teased. "Though perhaps I ought to inform your compatriots."

He immediately swung his head round to protest but Lily had already begun to laugh. Sirius muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"We're just friends, Evans, so you needn't go spreading all sorts of gossip." He shrugged. "We met while I was visiting my cousin Narcissa during her year abroad at Beauxbatons and we became friendly. That's all."

"Was she the one who from that photograph? Or should I say, the one kissing you in that photograph?" she enquired. "That seems a bit excessive for friendship."

"I would have you know the kiss caught me entirely by surprise. I suspect it was a publicity stunt on her part. All the gossip magazines were talking about her and the Italian minister's son so she wanted to be seen very publicly with someone else. Or so she told me."

There was no sign of embarrassment, but Lily was quite certain that, had she been able to see his ears, the tips would have been pink. It was part of the reason he had grown his hair as long as it was, she suspected, since she had been given to tormenting him about that particular trait during third year.

"Of course," Sirius added, "once the newspapers found out I was fourteen years old to her sixteen, her plan backfired."

"I'm only teasing you. Though I would have you know that she seemed more than a little jealous on my account. You might want to reassure her as well as you're reassuring me," Lily suggested.

"Very well. I promise I will reassure Eliane as much as need be," he retorted, before asking, "How long will you be here?"

"Another month." They stepped into one of the somewhat rickety Métro trains.

Sirius threw her a sideward glance. "I don't suppose you'd mind doing this a few times a week, would you?"

"I'd not mind...but how long do you plan on staying here in Paris?"

"Until I feel like going back. Or until Eliane grows too jealous of my keeping lovely English girls company and kicks me out," he added archly.

"Ingrate." But she was smiling as she said it.