Something in the Air

Chapter 2

Snape walked to the other side of his dungeon. He had just noticed that he was running low on snail's shells. He frowned. He was also low on cat's liver. He was definitely going to have to go to Hogsmeade and stock up for the school year.

A shiver ran down his spine as he thought of Harry. There was a reason that he didn't like the boy, asides from the fact that Snape had hated Harry's father. But it was such a horrible thing to think about...

Chocolate shoes, Snape thought suddenly. I am wearing chocolate shoes!

He leaned over and sat on his desk, knocking over a can of sparrow eyeballs. The glass jar shattered on the ground. He brought his shoe up to his mouth (a huge stretch for a stiff man like him) and ripped a chunk off of it. He chewed the dirty leather slowly, savoring the chocolate taste. His hip cracked as he leaned over a second time, taking a piece from the heel.

Not too bad, he thought. But I would like to have eaten it in a flying dishwasher.

He started to giggle as he thought of the Muggle device used to clean dishes. In his mind the washer grew wings and started to fly. In real life he jumped off of the desk, chasing after the invisible dishwasher. He dived for it, eager for a ride. Obviously, he missed and landed on his face on the ground. Undaunted, he tried again, this time smashing his chin on a desk. He ignored the blood and tried one last time before smashing his head on the dungeon floor so hard he was knocked unconscious.

***

Gregory Goyle ran over to Vincent Crabbe's house. They lived right next door, although it was quite a run, owing to the largeness of their properties. When he got there he rang the doorbell. The butler answered.

"There's going to be a wedding!" he said between pants. "I have to propose!" He pushed past the startled servant and ran the two flights of winding staircases to Vincent's room.

"Vincent!" he cried, throwing himself at his friend's feet. "Will you marry me?"

Vincent shook his head. "Only if I can be a bride's maid."

Gregory frowned. "That's not fair! You can't be the bride and the bride's maid!"

Stamping his foot, Vincent yelled, "I wanna wear a pretty dress! And eat tacos!"

Gregory got up from the floor and sat down at Vincent's desk. He looked over his shoulder with an evil expression on his face. "Vinny! Can I play the... ORGAN!" he yelled, pounding the desk as if it were the instrument.

"With your horrible dancing skills? I think not! And who let that volcano in the house?" Vincent retorted. He farted loudly. "Volcanic eruption! Run! Chicken, ruuuuuuuuuun!"

"Damn it, where's the milk cabinet?" Gregory demanded. "I want chocolate milk!" He ran to the bathroom, and after a few unsuccessful tries, threw up in the sink. "Champagne, anyone?"

Vincent giggled and ran over to the window. He leaned out it and howled like a wolf. Gregory left his vat of 'champagne' and ran over to him. Gregory poked him in the butt. With a shriek, Vincent fell out the window.

He landed on his neck two floors below.

Gregory sat cross-legged on the ground, trying to figure out what he was going to do now. Or more precisely, who he was going to marry now.

"I better go propose to the butler," he muttered, getting up. He pulled out his wand and muttered "Wingarium leviosa!" pointing the body. Vincent floated up to him, but he kept pointing the wand up. He waited until it reached the roof before dropping it again. Then, he turned and ran out of the room.

He ran out of the house, only stopping to tell the butler that he was desperately in love with him. He rushed past the gory mess that was Crabbe, and didn't stop until he had reached his house.

***

"What have you done to my Duddy-kins?" Aunt Petunia shrieked. "It's some kind of magic spell, isn't it!"

Harry frowned and looked at Dudley. He was sitting on an air chair with a piece of gum. He had already chewed it, but he had taken it out of his mouth and was calling it "Ropapaloosa" and sticking it between his fingers. He was telling Ropapaloosa how he had caught the chicken and ate it all my his lonesome.

And indeed, he had eaten the 'chicken'. Mrs. Figgs had threatened to call the police, but quieted down when the hysterical Dursleys had offered her a large sum of money.

Dudley had been keeping a tally of the weight he had lost while chasing various 'chickens'. The total so far, during the last week, had been 58 pounds. He had announced, to his father's horror that he was going to eat each of the 'chickens' that he caught. And that was all that he was going to eat that day, unless he caught another chicken. So far, his variety of 'chickens; were:

"Nothing! I didn't do anything!" Harry yelled back. He couldn't help it, his lip curled in a sneer.

"Listen, boy! If you don't tell us what is wrong with them then we are going to lock you in the cupboard again!" Uncle Vernon yelled, his fatty face turning red.

This made Harry smile. Little did they know that someone from the Ministry was going to arrive by car in a little under fifteen minutes. He had moved all of his stuff to the front door, and in their hysteria, no one had noticed. He didn't care at this point, if they locked him up. He would just magic his way out and explain it to the Ministry person.

"Look, it's not my fault that Dudley has flipped his lid. It is good though, that he is trying to loose weight, even if the way he's doing it is a bit... er... disgusting," Harry replied.

"Then why did you smile, boy?" Uncle Vernon asked.

"Because, school starts today," he replied.

"What are you talking about? How are you going to get there?"

"Maybe I will fly...." Harry said, letting the end of the sentence drag off.

Vernon twitched. Suddenly he broke into song:

"I believe I can fly,

I believe I can touch the sky!

I think about it every night and day,

Spread my wings and fly away!

I believe I can soar,

See me flying through the open door... door!

I believe I can fly..."

He died off, but not before jumping very high into the sky and landing with an earth shaking crash which knocked lamps off tables.

Harry's eyes got wide. It wasn't long before Aunt Petunia joined him; jumping off furniture and screeching like a monkey. He backed down the hall towards the front door. Before he got there he sniffed. There was definitely something in the air.