That Weird Quiet Kid

Three eleven-year-old boys shuffled out of their dormitory under an extremely rare invisibility cloak. When they slipped through the doorway, Peter Pettigrew ran into the door post.

"Ouch."

Sirius Black ruffled the shorter boy's hair.

"It's okay, Petie, just remember next time: just because you're invisible, that doesn't mean you can walk through walls. Sorry about that; when James and I raise another sixty-thousand galleons, we'll try and get it updated."

"Hold up," James stopped the other two with his arm. "First of all, I paid for this thing without any help from you- unless it was handed down in my family- which would still mean that it's officially mine, not ours; second of all, shouldn't we take that weird quiet kid with us?"

Peter and Sirius stared at him.

"Huh?" Sirius asked.

"That one we talk to sometimes because nobody else really does? With the stressed-out rings under his eyes?"

Blank stares.

"The one that gets sick a lot?"

"Err..." Sirius said.

"He sleeps next to you, Sirius, for crying out loud!"

Sirius turned around and peered back into the room as if he hadn't realized that there was a bed next to his.

"Oh, yeah!" He recalled the beaten down skinny classmate. "Why do we want to bring him?"

James looked at him as if that question had the most blatantly obvious answer in the world.

"Because. That's why."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm going, I'm going." He slipped out from under the cloak and crept over to the other boy's bed. "Hey, you," he whispered, lightly shaking him.

The boy didn't stir.

Sirius turned back to the others.

"What's his name?" he whispered back at them.

James and Peter glanced at each other.

"Err... something with an 'L,' I think. Wait... maybe that's his last name..."

"Oh, forget it." Sirius turned back to the boy. "Hey... Loopy, Loony, whatever your name is, wake up!" He shook the boy roughly this time, which made him groan, mutter something, and roll over. "He sleeps like a blasted rock," Sirius complained.

"Could you say rocks sleep?" Peter pondered wisely.

"'R!'" James said triumphantly, "It starts with an 'R!'"

"Oy!" Sirius called rather loudly. "Mr. R! Rise and shine! Third hour was over thirty minutes ago!"

The boy pulled a pillow over his head but then, suddenly, went rigid and sat bolt upright.

"THIRD HOUR!" he exclaimed, eyes wide, "I've missed..."

"No, actually, the sun hasn't even risen yet. I had to wake you up."

"What's your name?" Peter shouted. The boy looked about for him, but couldn't see him under the cloak. He saw the empty beds around him.

"Where is everyone?"

"Werewolf came in, ate 'em all up," Sirius said solemnly.

All of the color was instantly gone from the boy's face.

"What?" he croaked. James sniggered, and the boy jumped and looked around again.

"That's right," Sirius sighed, "he must have had the password, roared it right in the fat lady's face."

James started laughing, but managed to gasp through his cackles, "Stop... playing with his brain... and ask him, already!"

"What's going on?!" the boy protested, sounding rather distressed.

"I made up that werewolf junk-"

The boy sighed a deep, relieved sigh and flopped back down onto the bed.

"Do you have a phobia or something?" Sirius raised an elegant eyebrow at him.

"Yeah," the boy said, still sighing, "I've got a phobia."

"I don't know if you can be in the group, then-"

"Knock it off, Sirius, we don't have all year!" James's voice came out of nowhere again.

Sirius looked in James's general direction and asked the air, "Is there a werewolf phobia?"

"Oh, yeah, there's phobias for everything. Petie, here, has a phobia for fluffy white clouds and oxygen."

"Hey! I do not!"

"Alright!" Sirius stopped the flow of conversation and turned back to the boy. "If a current member of the group has eighty-five phobias, I guess we can stand for one from you. On to business. I am here to ask you... Loopus..."

"Remus Lupin?" the boy asked tentatively.

"Don't ask me; I don't know what your name is. Anyway, we're here to ask you to join the HHAPPADO: the Hogwarts Hall and Passageway Patrol and Discovery Organization. We illegally- well, never mind that part- wander the forbidden- forget that one, too- areas of Hogwarts while we're supposed to be asleep (also insignificant) and regret it the next morning when we are forced to rely on ice water, loud noises, and painful self-abuse to remain awake in Potions, Transfiguration, Charms-"

"But that's alright, because we can catch up on sleep in History of Magic," James's voice interrupted.

"Wait, who is that?" Remus asked Sirius.

"He's the very real part of my schizophrenia disorder. Don't worry; I'm just insane, not dangerous."

Suddenly, James popped out from under the invisibility cloak.

"Do you want to come with us? We've got an invisibility cloak," he asked. Peter peered out from under it.

"Actually," Sirius said in a matter-of-fact way, "now that you know about us, you have no choice but to join. If you don't, we'll have to kill you. Sorry, we can't trust you to keep a secret."

"You'll scare him off," Peter appealed.

"Yeah, Sirius, you'll scare him off, so shut up already."

"Hey, if I scare him, maybe he shouldn't come."

Remus Lupin was beaming.

"That's what I thought!" James said. "Come on, boys, we're heading out!" He pulled Remus (who came willingly) out of bed by his arm and Peter let them all back under the cloak.

"Watch the door post, Remus," James warned, "Peter'll tell you."