Rating:
PG
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
Draco Malfoy Harry Potter Hermione Granger Ron Weasley Sirius Black
Genres:
Parody Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 05/04/2003
Updated: 05/04/2003
Words: 1,879
Chapters: 1
Hits: 440

Correspondences

koanju

Story Summary:
Sirius has the inside track to the Hogwarts grapevine thanks to Harry.

Posted:
05/04/2003
Hits:
440
Author's Note:
Written as a Valentine's Day satire. With thanks to El Lance and Tanzy for pushing me through and making sure I finished it before Valentine's Day was over.

Harry,

I heard about the attack at the Dursleys in the Prophet. Are you all right? What really happened?

Snuffles

Dear Snuffles,

I'm all right. I dreamed about it and was able to get in touch with Dumbledore. He took me back to Hogwarts and moved the Dursleys to a safe house. I'm glad I don't have to go back next summer - they were mad!

Do you think you'll be done with the mission soon? Dumbledore won't tell me what it is, so I reckon you're either hunting Wormtail or at Azkaban. Whatever it is, be careful.

Harry

Harry,

Are your dreams increasing?

I can't mention much about the mission, but I'm safe. You don't need to worry about me. Since you're at Hogwarts now, I'll be able to visit for your birthday.

Snuffles

Snuffles,

You can make it this year? That'd be brilliant. Are you staying with Professor Lupin again? If you are, tell him hello for me. And make him come with you.

The dreams aren't coming more often, really. The visions aren't either. Although, I wouldn't mind getting stuck with one in the middle of Snape's class! No, I think I'm just becoming more aware of them. The hard part is figuring out what they mean. Like back in my third year when I dreamt that the Slytherin team was riding dragons instead of brooms! Dumbledore's got me working with Trelawney to see if we can "refine my talent." Personally, I think the only thing the old fraud might be able to refine is my distaste for her incense!

Ron and Hermione sent me a letter from the Burrow. They're seeing each other now. I'm happy for them, I suppose. I just wonder if it'll work out, they constantly drive each other up the wall and I hate being stuck in the middle. Of course, when Ron and I fight, I reckon Hermione feels the same.

Harry

Harry,

No, I'm not with Remus this summer. He's in Romania talking to the werewolf clans. I can't tell you where I am staying.

I'll do my best to be there for your birthday and I'm sorry I missed the other sixteen.

I'm sure Dumbledore's suggested this, but have you tried a dream journal? Or a Pensieve? They've got a special kind, made specifically for capturing dreams. It might be helpful in seeing patterns or images, even if you don't know what they mean at the time. They can be hard to get, but I'm sure Dumbledore would be able to find one if you asked.

Snuffles

Snuffles,

I won't press you for more information. I know we run the risk of being intercepted. That's why this letter is a little late, I wanted to wait to make sure it was safe.

Can I ask you a question? What happened to Buckbeak? Hagrid was talking about him the other day, I just started wondering.

I got another letter from Ron today. Pig, that's Ron's Owl - you know, the one you gave him - showed up while I was working on my Potions essay. I guess he and Hermione had a big fight about their plans after they leave Hogwarts. Ron doesn't want Hermione to be an Auror. I reckon that's a fight they should be having when the time comes. I can't imagine making plans that far in advance. I can tell you though, if this is what a relationship is like, I don't ever want to date anyone.

I've been keeping a dream journal since last year when we discovered that my dreams were prescient. I didn't know they made dream Pensieves! Thanks for the suggestion, I'll look into it.

Harry

Harry,

Buckbeak was fine the last time I checked up on him. Remus made sure he went to a breeder last summer.

Don't give up on seeing people yet, it's not as bad it seems. Look at your Mum and Dad, they started seeing each other while they were in fifth year and ended up married.

I'll be there for your birthday, but I won't be able to write back.

Snuffles

Snuffles,

Thank you again for the Pensieve. I really appreciate it. It was great to see you again! I wish you weren't on the run anymore, it'd be nice to actually spend the day together like that more often.

Ron and Hermione aren't seeing each other anymore. Ron's sulking and won't talk to anyone but me, but Hermione seems the better for it. Guess they couldn't stand the sniping. She's happier.

Oh, I can't write much now, I'm to meet them in Diagon Alley!

Harry

Harry,

I'm sorry it took me so long to write back and I'm glad the Pensieve is useful. Dumbledore has me tracking Wormtail, so if you see anything that might be useful, let me know, all right?

How are Ron and Hermione doing? Has Ron stopped sulking yet? And yourself? I remember you telling me about your crush in fifth year, but you haven't mentioned anyone since.

Snuffles

Snuffles,

Do you think you might be able to make it here for Christmas? Dumbledore says that the war preparations will be stepped up in the beginning of the New Year, and I want to see you one more time if I can.

Snape's been leaving the castle more often too, which is just strange. I wonder if he's going back to the Death Eater meetings?

Ron and Hermione have been doing better. At least I don't have to relay messages anymore, I was about ready to charge a fee! Ron started seeing a fifth year Gryffindor and Hermione actually ended up with Draco Malfoy! I suppose he's not so bad when he's not being a snobby, obnoxious git. But that's still the last person I expected to see her with, given that he can be such a bastard. I won't say anything for her sake, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

I still don't want to date anyone, although Ginny (Ron's sister) keeps asking. I may just give in to get her off my back.

Harry

Harry,

If you don't like her, you don't have to date her. You'd just hurt her feelings if you dated her out of an obligation. Have you tried simply talking to her? It works. Honest!

Snape's been leaving? Have you been seeing him come back with parcels? There's been a large movement in the Order and Potions requests have been increasing. Snape may just be gathering ingredients for that. But still, and I know I don't have to tell you this, be careful of him.

Snuffles

Snuffles,

I took your advice and talked to Ginny a bit and explained I didn't like her that way. She cried. I sort of sat there. I mean, what are you supposed to say in that kind of situation? The next thing I know she's seeing Draco Malfoy behind Hermione's back! What's next? Is Malfoy going to try and kiss me? No, better yet, he'll go after Ron!

As if I needed even more reason to hate Malfoy, that certainly is it. I don't understand how Ginny could do that to Hermione. Ron's giving her a good talking to. My job is to hex Malfoy into the lake.

Hermione was furious when she found out. And she's scary when she's angry. Remind me to tell you about Rita Skeeter.

Do you think I'm a gossip? I don't mean to be. I just don't really know what to write sometimes. My life's dull. Sleep. Class. Quidditch. Training. Sleep. If it weren't for Hermione, I don't think I'd get any of my work done. She's been really great this year, I should find some way to thank her.

Any word on Christmas?

(Oh, and Snape's been brewing Potions. I asked.)

Harry

Harry,

Don't worry, I don't think you're a gossip. It's fun to read about your life there at Hogwarts, it reminds me of my time there. James, in fourth year, before he started seeing Lily, tried taking out two Hufflepuffs at the same time. When they found out, they hexed him into the Infirmary. A little bit of godfatherly advice here: try to avoid that at all costs!

I've talked to Dumbledore about Christmas. We'll see. I may be busy and it may be too dangerous. I'm sorry, Harry, I want to be there with you.

How is your training going? And what's that about Rita Skeeter? Does this have anything to do with those nasty articles in your fourth year?

Snuffles

Snuffles,

Rita Skeeter was an unregistered Animagus, just like you. She was a beetle, and Hermione figured it out and captured her in a jar. It was really funny, Hermione kept her as a pet!

Training's going fine, better really, now that Hermione's there with me. We've been spending a lot of time together, and I feel sort of bad. I wonder if I'm neglecting Ron. But he's been seeing Pansy Parkinson. She's a Slytherin. I think she's only doing it to get back at Draco for seeing Ginny and Hermione. Not that the bastard cares, he caught pneumonia. I got a month's detention for it, but it was worth it.

Oh, I'm late. Meeting Hermione at the Three Broomsticks!

Harry

Harry,

How was your "date" with Hermione?

I've got word from Dumbledore, I'll see you in two days for Christmas!

Snuffles

Snuffles,

It was great to see you again! I miss you. Thanks for the books, they'll be helpful.

Hermione and I had a talk the other day. She seems to think that we make better friends than anything. I hadn't even realized we were seeing each other! Especially given the way she kept looking at Ron's older brother Charlie. So now I'm getting far more details than I ever wanted about her sex life. Or lack thereof. You'd think Hermione would be the one not to kiss and tell.

Ron and I have been spending more time together. I actually beat him at chess the other week! I guess those strategy sessions with Professor Flitwick have been helping.

Harry

Snuffles,

I just had a dream.

DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE.

Harry

Harry,

Dumbledore would have told you by now, but I'm all right. It was worth it because we got Wormtail. They're setting my trial date as I write.

Sirius

Sirius,

It feels strange to write your name. I'd gotten used to "Snuffles" over the years. How did you come up with that anyway?

It's great news about the trial, Dumbledore's trying to arrange for me to go. I figure I might be able to get sympathy and that's why he's agreed to it.

Valentine's Day here was awful. I got a pile of cards from people all over! Malfoy kept calling me Lockhart and Snape was harping on my "celebrity." If I do live past Voldemort's death, I'm leaving.

And if they hadn't been enough, Hermione kept talking about how she missed Malfoy and how "nice" his hands are. What's worse is that after she pointed it out, I started noticing she was right!

Harry

Harry,

I've been pardoned. Will be at Hogwarts in a few days.

We're going to have a chat about the birds and the bees.

Love,
Sirius