Once More With Feeling

***Hi! This is your nice (if slightly annoying) narrator person! I just want you all to know that I've fired the home fix-it guy that interrupted Draco's song last scene. And, since Draco missed his chance, he'll get another shot***

Draco: Yay!!!

***...next chapter, Draco. Anyway, the song 'Rest in Peace'--or the Hogwarts variant thereof--will be sung in this chapter***

Draco: Do I get to sing it?

***No, of course not. Will you let me finish? It's going to be sung by none other than our beloved Sevvie***

Snape: What?

***Oh, sorry, didn't I tell you? *evil grin* Anyway, this chapter is all meaningless filler that I had to include. It's what the professors and other random characters were doing while the students are running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to find out what happened to Hermione***

Everyone except Harry: Something happened to Hermione?

***Er...let me rephrase that. What the professors and other random characters were doing while Harry is running around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to find out what happened to Hermione and everyone else is just kind of standing around with a dumb look on their faces, except for Draco Malfoy who finds it impossible to have a dumb look on his face and instead stands around with an evil grin on his face. Does that satisfy all? ***

Everyone: Yes.

***Good. Now that we've wasted almost all of the dramatic build-up for Sevvie's song, let's cut straight to it***

Snape: That's okay! Just keep blathering and take up my song spot!

***Don't be silly. I'd never do that to you***

Snape: *sigh* You're worse than I am, you know that?

***Scene cuts to the dungeon, where Severus Snape is trying to do his work and Lucius Malfoy is warming up the orch--er, trying to convince him to join the Death Eaters again***

Snape glared coldly at the ceiling. "You're evil."

Lucius smirked. "I know."

"No, not you, the bloody narrator," Snaped snap--I mean snapped Snape. "And you'll pay for that little slip too. All right..."

He sighed and began.

Snape:

I tried

So many years ago

To get a little fame

And maybe even gold

But why you cannot see I've changed

I think I finally know

You're blind

You just see what you want

And you think I'm just the same

But I'll tell you I'm not

If you could see I've changed since then

You'd look more thin and gaunt

Now please

I wish you'd go away

You're starting to get on my nerves

There's nothing I can say

If you don't stop annoying me

I'm sure I'll go insane

So let me be in peace

Let me have some peace

Let me do some good

Let me chase my evil ways away

Which is what I really should

I can be on the right side

If anybody could

So let me have some peace

You know

I used to be your slave

I used to cower underneath

The punishments you gave

But if I weren't teaching here

You'd hound me to my grave

So let me be in peace

You know

You should go

But you're acting like I'm a man possessed

You can see the traitor 'neath my breast

And you want to make a hole in my breast

If you had a heart you'd cover up your chest

But can't you see I'm not impressed

So leave me be

Let me be in peace

Let me do some good

Let me cast my evil ways away

The way I think I should

I can be on the right side

If anybody could

So let me have some peace

Why won't you

Let me have some peace

****

Lucius just gaped. "You possess a magnificent singing voice, Severus. All right, I'll leave."

He left. Snape stared after him, then looked up at the ceiling.

"I have a good singing voice?" he yelled. "What deranged planet are you living on? Why did you make me sing in the first place? Why can't I join the mad quest for the location of Hermione?"

As the castle warped itself to expel Snape right into the middle of the search for Hermione Granger, consisting of Harry, Crookshanks, Hedwig, and Wiggles the Mad Garden Gnome--

"Thank you!"

--camera jerks to Hagrid, down by the lake watching the Giant Squid. In his head he heard the band tuning up. He looked to the sky.

"Oh, Miss Nice Narrator person, please don' make me sing no love songs to no Giant Squids. The people here already think I'm dotty."

Suddenly, he was overcome by a nasty bout of laryngitis. Unable to sing, he gave the sky a thumbs-up and went back to his cabin.

Snape was not pleased. "Hey! You made me sing!"

***Only because I love you, Sevvie***

"Can I have you hate me instead?"

"Um...Professor? Who are you talking to?"

"The bloody narrator! The one that made me sing a song!"

"You had to sing?"

"Can it, Potter. You did too."

***And you have to do more singing. Okay, all you loyal readers out there--yeah, that means you, staring at your computer--***

"Don't you have anything better to do than be sitting on your duff all day reading fanfiction?"

"Yeah, like clipping your nose hairs or hunting down Professor Snape to make him sing you a lo--"

"That is more than sufficient, Potter. Silence."

***That goes for you too, Sevvie. Okay, once again, everyone out there reading this...that's the whole chapter. Next chapter--the mad quest comes to an end, more singing and dancing--including a little number by Moldy Voldie--***

"Ha, ha!"

***And I send random bolts of lightning down on unsuspecting characters. Then get into heated debates with them. Okay, see the pretty yellow words underneath this? Click them....now!***