Drifting

Chapter 10: Defiance

"'Cause it makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

It makes me that much wiser

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

Makes me that much smarter

So thanks for making me a fighter-" Christina Aguilera, Fighter.

~*~

Sirius sat in the Potters' library scanning through Alternate Realities. He flipped through the part about how to learn Legilimency, since he had already learned it from Nicolas in the past week. Now all he had to do was get into Harry's mind and trap him.

Sirius checked his watch. It read 11:50. Nicolas had told him to meet him at the bar at noon so they could try the spell. Sirius had discovered one problem in this plan that Voldemort wouldn't have. You needed to be where the person was to perform the Legilimens spell on them. Voldemort was always near Harry, even living in him sometimes. Sirius had no way of getting to Harry. He dared to hope that Nicolas knew a way to get to Harry or he was out of luck.

With a soft crack Sirius left the Potters' house and appeared in the bar. Nicolas sat at their usual table waiting for him. Sirius strode over to him and plopped down in the booth.

"How are we going to get to Harry to perform the spell?" Sirius asked instead of the normal hello that first left his lips.

"We're Apparating to Privet Drive."

Sirius looked confused. "Harry won't be there. He's not dead."

Nicolas looked solemn. "Wait and see."

He grabbed Sirius' hand and when Sirius opened his eyes again, they were standing outside number 4 Privet Drive.

The two men entered the house and climbed the stairs. They didn't know which room was Harry's so they opened doors until they found it. It looked identical to Harry's room in the real world but that wasn't what made Sirius gasp.

Lying on the bed was the shimmering halo of Harry Potter.

"How?" Sirius whispered, rushing to his godson's side.

He reached over to touch Harry but his hand slid right through him. He looked back up at Nicolas, who had moved to his side.

"He's not dead yet, if that's what you're wondering."

"Yet?"

Nicolas sighed. "I contacted Lucius Malfoy and I found out some of Lord Voldemort's plans. Apparently he wanted to convert Harry to the Dark Side but not for the reasons we thought. He never wanted Harry to be the heir to his throne and help him rule in darkness. That was saved for the Zabini child, the one chosen to lead. He wants Harry because he knows how powerful Harry is, even if the boy doesn't show it. He's been draining Harry's powers all summer long. Converting him is only to make him give up the powers willingly, which will only speed up the process. This is how Voldemort plans to kill Harry; drain him of all his magic until there is nothing left. Everyone knows a wizard that loses all his magical ability dies. Harry doesn't know so he can't stop it. You need to tell him how."

Sirius looked from Nicolas to Harry and back again. He was still processing all the information that had been given to him.

"Lucius told all this to you willingly?"

"He seemed to think that there was no point in keeping secrets anymore since no one could do anything about it."

"Really?"

"Of course not. I slipped Veritaserum into his evening drink and waited in the shadows until he drank it," Nicolas said.

"Oh."

Sirius continued to stare at Harry. Suddenly, the halo around him darkened in color. It was now a yellow-orange color.

"What's happening?" asked Sirius worriedly.

"Lord Voldemort just took a significant amount of Harry's power. Each time magic is taken from him the halo will become darker and darker. It'll glow black for three days before he dies," Nicolas explained. "I suggest you attempt to trap him before he loses too much power."

"Right," Sirius nodded.

He pulled out his wand and said, "Legilimens." He felt the shape of Harry's thoughts in his own mind but before they could take their true form, they disappeared. Sirius pulled back.

"I can't get into his mind!" he nearly shouted.

Nicolas laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm afraid Lord Voldemort's gotten to him first. We'll just have to wait until he's done.

~*~

Harry closed the curtains around his window and fell onto his bed, grateful for the softness of it. He'd fallen asleep twice already on a cold hard desk and he didn't want to do that again.

He'd become more and more tired each day ever since he'd found out about the second prophecy. He hadn't told anyone but he strongly suspected Draco knew. He wondered if the same thing was happening to the other boy right now.

He felt a longing pang for Ginny. He really wanted her here to curl up against him and make him forget everything that was happening. He wanted her reassurance that he would be fine. Harry smiled a little at the fact that he'd only have to wait for tomorrow morning.

As soon as he closed his eyes the memory of Uncle Vernon whipping him with his belt danced across his eyelids. Someone had been pushing the memory to the front of his mind all day long but he hadn't been able to figure out who it was. He was too tired.

Again he felt that same force pulling at his insides. It was almost as if someone was trying to pull him from his body.

You are mine; a voice spoke in the back of his mind.

Harry shot up like a bullet as his mind and soul were wrenched from his body. It swirled around in a reddish cloud and disappeared into the white gap in the darkness of Harry's room.

____________

Voldemort watched Harry's mind and soul take the ghost-like form of the boy himself. Harry's figure was kneeling on the ground; a grayish mist swirled around him.

"You see, Potter, you are vulnerable," Voldemort whispered in Harry's mind.

He couldn't speak to Harry directly since they were both only here in spirit, and therefore couldn't use any of their senses except for sight.

Harry shuddered as Voldemort's words crossed his mind. He was scared, and Voldemort knew it.

"Where am I?" Harry's small voice whispered, barging into the Dark Lord's head.

"You are in a place where there is no escape from me. Here you shall be tortured until you die."

Harry's spirit fell backwards as the strong whip-like crack of Voldemort's voice entered his head.

"I won't give in to you," Harry said with defiance rising in his voice. "You won't win."

Voldemort paused for a moment, taken aback by Harry's straightforwardness. He had known the boy had a strong will but he hadn't known how strong it really was.

"You can't escape."

Voldemort was sure Harry's spirit would have been laughing right now if it could.

"Watch me."

In a flash he was gone.

Voldemort's spirit looked around in bewilderment. How did he get out! There's no way he could have figured out how to escape so soon. I mean, it's a simple thing of wishing you were back in your body but... Maybe I've underestimated him.

Voldemort whispered Finite Incantatam in his mind and flew back into his own body. He flexed his fingers, getting used to the feel of gravity.

Nonsense. I'm still the better wizard.

Still there was a little voice in the back of his head that said he'd never win against Harry. Voldemort ignored it.

"Wormtail," he called. "Get me the book!"

~*~

The figure of Harry suddenly jerked in the bed and then lay still.

"What's going on now?" Sirius asked.

"He managed to get away from Voldemort. Do the spell now while he's still recovering. That way you can trap him easily. Now he'll act by instinct and resist it. You need to catch him off guard and-"

Sirius had already muttered the spell. Harry's body jerked again and so did Sirius'. Both of their minds and souls floated into the break in the darkness.

Sirius landed on his feet when he materialized in their own little world. It was in the middle of a grassy field. It reminded Sirius of the fields he always wished he could run around in when he was in his Animagus form.

Harry fell to his knees again when he materialized. He looked around tensely. When he realized that it couldn't possibly be Voldemort trapping him this time, his eyes traveled up to see his captor.

"Sirius?"

As the words flashed across his mind Sirius ran forward to embrace Harry but he felt his ghost-like form slip right through Harry. Then he remembered that you had no senses except for sight when you trapped someone in another world.

"Harry, it's so good to see you again."

"Did you meet my parents?" he asked abruptly.

"Yes-"

"What are they like? Do they miss me at all? Are you having fun with them? Where are they? Did you bring them with you? Mum? Dad?"

Sirius was already picturing the disappointment on Harry's face when he told him what he had to say.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but I couldn't bring your parents. Nicolas said that I could only do this by myself."

Harry looked crestfallen and Sirius immediately felt sorry for his godson.

"Nicolas who?"

"Nicolas Flamel. I think you've heard of him?" Sirius said as a partial joke.

Harry's face brightened a little. "Cool. How'd you meet?"

"It's a really long story, Harry. Listen, I'm here to talk to you about something important and I don't have much time."

Harry shrugged and sat down on the ground. "All right then, shoot."

"Nicolas told me that Dumbledore could see the future. He saw my death before it happened."

He broke off as Harry's face contorted in rage.

"He KNEW!" Harry yelled. "HE KNEW AND HE DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME!"

"Harry, calm down!" Sirius cried, trying to stop his head from pounding with the effects of Harry's yelling.

Harry took a few deep breaths. "So there's more to this than just the two prophecies."

"Two prophecies?" Sirius asked.

Harry's eyes widened. "Just forget it and say what you have to say."

Sirius could tell that Harry wasn't going to tell him so he didn't push it.

"Dumbledore also thought that after I was gone, you wouldn't put up much of a fight against Voldemort. He seemed to think that Voldemort would be able to convert you with ease. You can't let him win though, Harry. You need to fight this and win. I really don't know how to put this so you understand the importance of it. You can't give up just because you think you've lost everything. You still have plenty of people left that are close to you. I'm sure you'll find a great girlfriend soon, too."

"I have a girlfriend. You remember Ginny Weasley, right?" Harry's mind's voice sounded annoyed now. "Did you just come here to warn me? No greetings from anyone I know who died because of me? Not even my own parents? Cedric perhaps? Can't you say anything besides the normal 'you can't give up'?"

Sirius paused. "Then what do you want Harry?"

Harry looked down. "I don't know," his small voice whispered across Sirius' mind. "I'm so confused and tired. Something's happening to me. I never thought I'd say this but I need help, Sirius. I can't do this on my own anymore."

Sirius squatted down next to Harry. He wanted more than anything to touch the boy and comfort him. There had to be some way he could touch Harry, but he couldn't think of anything.

"We'll get you help, Harry. No one's making you do this on your own."

Harry turned away from him.

"Listen, Harry, please. There's something about this spell that you don't know, but it'll help you a lot. After you go back to your own body, you'll still be able to talk to me inside your head. Anytime you want to speak to me just say my name and I'll hear it."

Sirius shifted his position so that he could see Harry's face. Tears glistened on his cheeks.

"But Voldemort's already done the same spell on me," he said; his inner voice sounding despaired.

"You can block him out. He'll never know that I've done this spell on you. Just remember, anytime you need to talk, just say my name in your head." Sirius stood up. "I hope I'll hear from you soon."

He focused on being back in his own body and soon he was able to feel the bed he was leaning against. Nicolas stood over him, watching him with a look of something he couldn't quite determine what it was.

"Thanks for all your help, Nicolas."

~*~

For the second time, Harry was thrown back into his body by the mere thought of being back in it. He heard a small shriek as he opened his eyes.

"Harry!" a girl's voice said as she threw her arms around him.

Harry knew instantly that it was Ginny.

"I thought you were dead," she breathed. "Your aunt said you've been out cold for over twelve hours!"

She pulled back a little and Harry moved over, allowing her to lie down next to him.

"What time is it?"

Ginny glanced at the watch on her wrist. "9:00"

A worried look crossed Harry's face. "9:00? Voldemort and Sirius couldn't have kept me for that long."

"Voldemort and Sirius? Harry, are you feeling all right?"

Harry shook his head. "No. Just ignore it."

Ginny shrugged, knowing she wouldn't get a further answer from him. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Harry sighed, relaxing more.

Before he could stop it, tears began to roll down his cheeks. He shook, crying silently.

"I don' t know how I could live without you," he choked.

Ginny brushed one of his tears away.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Harry stared at her. "But I am. Ginny, I'm so tired. I can barely stay awake for more than a few hours. I don't even know what's wrong..."

Ginny couldn't hear Harry's voice anymore as she fell limp against him, her vision darkening. The trip to the end of the tunnel was faster now and she was watching the vision instantly.

She could see Harry. He didn't look any older than he was now.

Ginny pressed herself as close as she could to the window-like force that was separating her from what she was seeing. Harry was reaching for something outside of the picture. When he brought his hand back, Ginny could see the knife clutched tightly in it. He was gripping it so hard his knuckles had turned white. He brought the knife to his skin, taking deep breaths. She could see the tear tracks on his face.

Blood started to flow from the jagged cut in his arm. Harry began to slash the knife across his skin, making numerous cuts. Ginny cried out, trying to stop him, but nothing was working. He continued to cut himself. The knife's path formed intricate patterns on his skin.

As he looked up, Ginny was flung into the darkness again, but not before she saw the lost look in his eyes.

"Ginny?"

Harry's voice came loud and clear. He was leaning over her and shaking her. As she looked up at him, she realized she had fallen to the floor.

"What's wrong? You were screaming at me to stop cutting myself with a knife. What did you see?" his tone sounded more angry than worried now.

"You were there, sitting on the edge of your bed. You had been crying. Then I saw you reach for a knife and start drawing it across your skin. I lost count of how many cuts you made, but there were a lot of them. It scared me, Harry. I never thought I'd see you abusing yourself."

Harry shut his eyes, leaning back.

Sirius, he whispered.

After a few minutes, Sirius' voice sounded in his head.

"Hey, Harry. I didn't expect to be hearing from you so soon. What's up?"

"What do you know about Seers' visions?"

Sirius thought for a moment.

"All I know is that their visions always come true. There's no changing what happens in a vision."

Harry drew in a sharp breath.

"Ginny's a Seer. She said she just saw me cutting myself with a knife."

"That's not good, Harry."

"Actually, it's quite the contrary," a new voice sounded. "It's very helpful, Potter. Thank you for letting me know that your precious Ginny is a Seer. It'll crush your heart when I kill her."

"I told you, Sirius!" Harry's mind's voice yelled, sounding anxious. "I knew I couldn't block him out!"

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"Get out of here!" both Harry's and Voldemort's voices roared inside Sirius' head.

Immediately Sirius shut his mind down to any outside contact.

"You'll never get to Ginny," Harry snarled.

"I will and it'll mark your downfall, Potter," Voldemort said before retreating from Harry's mind.

Harry reopened his eyes to find the world spinning around him. He felt a wave of nausea wash over him and he ran into the bathroom. Harry bent over the toilet and waited for everything to come up and pass.

In a minute, he felt a cold washcloth pressed against his face. It moved in slow circles over his cheeks and his forehead.

"Thanks, Gin," he croaked, once he was sure he was done.

Ginny rinsed out the washcloth and wrung it out. Then she moved onto Harry's lap and continued to move the washcloth in small circles on his face.

"Were you talking to someone in your head?"

"Yeah," Harry mumbled.

"I suppose you're going to tell me that it was Sirius and Voldemort," she sighed, setting the washcloth down.

"Right in one."

"I don't believe you," Ginny said defiantly.

"When have I ever lied to you?"

Ginny stayed silent. She had to admit it; Harry didn't lie that much, and when he did it was because he had to. She knew that he would never lie to her about anything. It just wasn't in his nature to be anything but kind to others, even if the kindness wasn't returned. Everyone except Voldemort, that is.

"Never. It's just hard to believe you'd actually be talking to Sirius. I mean he's dead, Harry, and we both know it. How could he contact you?"

Her sudden scream cut off any reply Harry had.

~~**~~