An American Professor

Waking up was a painful experience for Erin. Her arms were still locked to her body, and her legs were locked together. Looking around the hospital wing with exasperation, she saw Pomfrey, Dumbledore, and Snape watching her. Pomfrey looked at her with annoyance and maybe a little pity. Dumbledore’s gaze was curious, and his eyes were still twinkling. Snape looked down his nose at her; his eyes were hard and filled with contempt.

Oh, cripes, quit analyzing them, and get them to let you loose! Finding she was able to speak, Erin asked calmly, “Will you please let me free now? I promise I won’t try to stun anymore spiders.”

Dumbledore waved his wand and Erin was free of her bonds. She smiled gratefully, and began to sit up. “Oh, no you don’t! Stay put young lady,” Pomfrey admonished.

“Ok, so what did I break this time? And was putting me in a full body bind really necessary?”

“Erin, you broke both legs, twice, your right wrist, your left arm in two places and you have three cracked ribs.” Dumbledore answered gravely.

“Oh, is that all?”

Pomfrey looked as if she were beside herself with frustration, but Snape actually looked as if he had wanted to smile at her last remark. “Professor Worhli, you have some serious injuries, and as I was attempting to fix them you pulled your wand on an insect and then jumped out of bed re-breaking bones I had just succeeded in mending, and were not quite ready for use. What is wrong with you?” Pomfrey scolded.

“She’s mental,” Snape sneered.

“Oh, shut up, you, you, vampire,” she finished for lack of a better insult. Her head was beginning to throb and she lifted her hand to touch it gingerly.

“Now, could you please tell us what happened for you to sustain all of these injuries, and if you don’t mind also including why you felt the need to stun a spider.”

Erin looked at Dumbledore with wide eyes, she giggled, and wondered if it were a side effect of a pain potion. Wait a minute, I don’t remember drinking any pain potion. “Well, the short version of the story is that I was with Hagrid for my Care of Magical Creatures class and he wanted to go into the dark forest to introduce me to the giant spider guy, Aragog. He’s some kind of Arachnodius, Arachnoconduit, Arachnidite oh hell it’s some fancy word, I can’t remember it right now. Anyway, this Aragog was supposed to be pals with Hagrid, but he’s got lots of kids and I guess they were hungry. He thought Hagrid was bringing me as some sort of sacrifice.” Snape snorted at this, and Erin shot him a glare. “Although I’m sure that certain individuals in this room would have liked for me to be a spider’s dinner,” she said pointedly looking at Snape.

Dumbledore ignored the nasty glares they were shooting one another and prompted her to continue with a wave of his hand. “Anyway, Hagrid told them I wasn’t for dinner and they got pretty pissed off and tried to eat both of us, and so I jumped on Hagrid’s back and he took off to get the hell out of the forest and on the way I kept stunning spiders.” She finished looking satisfied with herself.

Snape exploded, “That doesn’t explain anything! How in the hell did you end up at the bottom of the stairs!”

“Oh, right, the stairs. So, when we finally got back onto the grounds I took off running for the castle after a snappy comment to Hagrid. I think I hurt his feelings, maybe I should send him a note or maybe a card or something-”

“Erin, stay on topic, please,” Dumbledore encouraged gently.

“Yeah, so then I guess I sort of forgot to stop after I got inside, and well, I don’t remember much after that except when I woke up I thought I was in trouble again because of the vampire standing over me. But that was just him,” she gestured to Severus who glared at her, “Oh, yeah, and I stunned the spider because well it freaked me out and then I was afraid it was going to fall on my head, and I really don’t like spiders at all. In fact, I was scared of spiders before tonight, but now I am absolutely one hundred percent petrified of them.”

“Please let me zap her again to stop her incessant babbling.” Snape pleaded with Dumbledore.

Pomfrey broke in, “Severus, please, you of all people know that that is a side effect of the potion I gave her. Erin, dear, lie back, and try not to talk anymore. I’m going to get you something that will make you forget all about the spiders and have a wonderful night’s rest.” Pomfrey moved to another cart and picked up the appropriate potion and presented Erin with it.

Gulping it down, she looked to Snape and remembered the first time that she’d taken a potion in the hospital wing. She had relied on him to tell her that it was okay. She wondered if he was thinking the same thing right now. Erin didn’t have time to think about it for long as the potion began to take effect quickly and her eyes became very heavy before she finally dropped off into a spiderless sleep.

The hospital wing was very dark, and very lonely when Erin awoke. Nobody was sitting by her bedside. In fact, it appeared that even Pomfrey had left the room. Erin had never woken up in the hospital wing feeling so completely isolated before.

Sitting up gingerly, Erin felt no pain, and swung her legs over the side of her bed. Testing out her legs cautiously, she found that they were able to carry her weight. Glancing at her wrist she saw that it was seven o’clock. Funny that it’s so dark in here at seven in the morning. Rummaging around the room she located the jeans and t-shirt she’d been wearing during her adventure into the forest. They were clean and neatly folded in a wardrobe on the opposite side of the wall from her bed. I know Hermione would hate me for saying this, but thank God for house elves.

Scouting the room again quickly to make sure that there really wasn’t anyone with her, she stripped out of her hospital pajamas and quickly pulled on her clothing. Zipping up her jeans she turned around and found Snape standing in front of her.

“Dammit! Don’t sneak up on people like that! How long have you been standing there? Did you watch me get dressed you no-good, slimy-”

“Save your breath. You were clothed when I got here. I didn’t see anything.” His voice sounded a little wistful, but his eyes were hard and unmoved and so Erin countered with an equally closed stance.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared him up and down carefully before asking, “So, what the hell do you want?”

“Oh, yes, thank you so much for finding me, Severus, I could have bled to death if it weren’t for you. Ring any bells, Worhli?”

Erin stared at him in disbelief, “You’re waiting for a thank-you? I’d rather be back out there with the damn spiders than thank-you for making sure that I, what was it that you said as I lay there bleeding, oh yes, ‘not staining your floor.’ Go to hell, Snape,” she finished firmly and turned to leave but his question stopped her.

“So, why do you think you fell down the dungeon stairs if you hate me so much.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Sighing exasperatedly he brushed past her as he walked to the door, “It means that you can’t keep running to me every time you have a problem. Or did you forget, I’m a no-good, slimy git, who doesn’t give two figs about you.” He finished up his even toned tirade and closed the door behind him.

“Well, maybe it was because you used to be my best friend,” she answered quietly. Having been given a lot to think about Erin followed him out the door and walked slowly to her rooms to contemplate, why exactly she had fallen down the dungeon steps. Of all the steps throughout this entire castle, I had to go and fall down his!

Sinking into an armchair, Erin stared into the empty fireplace and glanced at the clock above the mantle. It’s so dark out, and it’s eight o’clock? Erin, you moron, it’s eight at night! Realizing that she slept through the day, Erin walked to her window and peered outside.

Hagrid was sitting on his front porch next to a little fire cooking something. Fang was with him and it appeared that Hagrid was talking to the dog. Good to know that I’m not the only one who carries on full-blown conversations with my pet, speaking of which…”Violet?” She called out. No reply came and Erin sighed and went to her bookshelf. Guess she’s out making friends, might as well curl up with a book. There’s no way I’ll get to sleep now. I wonder if I should send a note down to Hagrid apologizing. Shaking her head, Erin resigned to make things right with Hagrid on the following day and plucked a book of spells from the bookshelf.

The spell book was from year five, and most of the spells went over her head. Starting from the beginning she absentmindedly flicked her wand this way and that trying to get the spells to work, but she realized that she wasn’t concentrating. Most of the time, nothing would happen, but once or twice she caught a pillow from the couch on fire, and had to quickly put it out with a stream of water from her wand.

“At the rate you’re going that couch won’t have a decent cushion left on it.”

Falling out of her chair in surprise, she gasped, “Oh!”

“Sorry my dear I didn’t mean to frighten you. I was hoping to speak with you.”

Erin’s eyes quickly assessed Dumbledore’s figure, trying to see if anything in his stance said, ‘You’re fired.’ Nervously biting her lip she gestured to another armchair and reclaimed her seat in the other one. Not able to contain herself she blurted, “You’re firing me, aren’t you?”

“Always right to the point, aren’t you my dear. No, Erin, I’m not firing you. I haven’t told you, but I think you’re one of the best Muggle Studies Professors that this school has ever seen. The students take a lot away from their lessons, and what you teach them is accurate and up to date, and I think that they really appreciate that.”

“Well, thank you very much Professor Dumbledore. I’m very happy to hear you say that. So, what’s going on?”

“My dear, another school year is soon approaching, and I trust that you’re ready to begin your fifth year coursework?”

“Uh, yes, sir,” she said while trying to cover up the book she’d been experimenting with.

“Erin, no need to fidget, I saw the book you had in your hand, I’m sure you’ll master the spells in no time, provided that you concentrate a little harder.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That is the matter which brings me here, your concentration. Erin, I can’t help but notice the tension that has developed between you and Severus. In fact, the whole faculty has noticed. The two of you are quite normal, and in your case rather pleasant, until the other enters the room. Unfortunately you both become unbearable to one another the moment the other enters a room, which causes the entire room to fill with tension. Now, I don’t know what happened between the two of you,” the twinkle in his eye led Erin to believe that he did in fact know exactly what had happened between the two of them, “and that really isn’t the point. The point, my dear, is that your behavior is affecting the rest of the staff. The rest of the staff has commented about your behavior, and I’m concerned that they may try to take sides. I’m sure you’ll agree that the teachers need to be united.

“You two seemed to be quite good friends before Severus’ departure, now I’m not asking you to force yourselves to like one another, but at least act civilly. As Hogwarts teachers, I hope that you can at least maintain an air of respect around one another, even if you two are not best friends.”

“Have you had this conversation with him, yet?” Erin asked tersely.

“Yes I have. Funny, he asked me the same thing when I had concluded speaking with him,” the damn twinkle was back in his eye. Feeling annoyed, and ashamed Erin bowed her head to hide her face.

“I’ll do my best Professor.”

“That’s all that I can ask of you. Now, Erin, agreeing to that will help the concentration of the rest of the staff, but what about your concentration?”

Erin looked at him blankly and so he continued, “Fifth year studies are rather difficult. You’ll be taking your O.W.L.s, and they will not be easy. I assume that you wish to finish your year five coursework in half a year?”

“Yes sir. But Professor Dumbledore, granted I’m not always the most focused individual lately, but I think my concentration is just fine when I apply myself.”

“Erin, people who are focused on their lives do not run full force towards a flight of stairs only to fall straight down them.”

“Yes sir.” She answered feeling a blush creep up her face. If only I could figure out why I did that.

“I am not one to delve into Professor’s personal lives. Only might I suggest you do a little exploring of this castle before the student population returns. I think you may find an answer to all of your questions.” He rose from his chair and turned to leave, adding over his shoulder, “It might also be wise to bring with you that key you found on Christmas.”

Erin stared after him, wondering, what key is he talking about? She remembered opening the Christmas cracker and finding a key. Where the heck did I put that key? Jumping from her chair she went into her bedroom and straight to the wardrobe. Rifling through the drawers she found the key buried in her sock drawer. I wonder what this key will do for me.

Unfortunately, Erin did not have the opportunity to test out her key. The night after Dumbledore's visit, she was wandering aimlessly down the hall thinking when Severus ran into her at full force.

Picking herself up off the floor and catching her breath she growled, "Watch where you're going you big oaf."

Sneering, he straightened his robes, "Pardon me, I wouldn't want to bruise such a delicate flower."

"Go to-" she began before remembering her promise to Dumbledore and stopped short.

"Yes? Where would you like me to go?" he goaded.

"Nevermind. Where's the fire?"

"Surrey," he answered simply and sped on his way.

"Surrey," Erin mumbled to herself, "That's where Harry is!" she shouted and ran after Snape. "What's going on? Dammit, Snape, answer me!" she yelled and grabbed onto his robes.

He stopped abruptly causing her to stumble and wrenched his robes from her hands. "Let me do my damn job, and stay the hell out of it for once," he hissed.

Erin matched him stride for stride out of the castle waiting for him to speak to her again. He finally seemed to tire of her presence and snapped, "I hope you realize you aren't going to be able to follow me. I plan on Apparating as soon as I'm clear of the grounds."

"I'll find some way to get there," Erin answered stubbornly.

"What the hell do you think you can do?"

Lifting her chin, she answered, "I don't know, but I'll be damned if I won't try."

Stopping again he yanked her arm so that he could look her eye-to-eye. "Look, Worhli, you don't know what you're saying."

"Let go of my arm," she hissed, "you're hurting me."

Gripping her a little more tightly he seemed satisfied at her wince and let go. "You think that hurt, follow me to Surrey and take your chances with Voldemort."

"Tell me what's going on."

"He's attacking Harry, and every minute I waste here with you, is a minute we don't have. And frankly I've wasted more time on you than any man should in an entire lifetime." He began striding towards his Apparation point again.

His words stung her to the core, and after a moment she began to follow him again. He spun around and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you, woman? Even if you figure out how to get there, what is it you plan to do? Shoot flowers out of your wand for Voldemort? Set up a concession stand? You are no match for Voldemort or any of his Death Eaters."

Pulling from his grasp she kept walking, but shot over her shoulder, "What the hell do you care?"

When he yanked her around to face him again, she could no longer contain her fury, and it poured forth unbridled. Shoving him away she shouted, "Who the hell do you think you are? Keep your filthy Death Eater hands off of me, you fucking pig!"

Equally enraged he grabbed her arm again and pulled her against him, his face mere inches from hers. "Say what you will about me, but I will not have you running off to be the hero, meanwhile endangering others while they try to protect you," his words were quiet, but were just as effective as if he'd shouted them.

His eyes were boiling with such rage her knees felt weak, but her stubborn pride won out as she lifted her chin to resolutely demand, "Let me go." He held on just as stubbornly. "Now!" she yelled, but still he held fast.

The more she struggled the tighter he gripped her until she was certain her arm would break. "Are you done?" he asked quietly.

"Let me go!" she shrieked again this time losing the last of her control and punctuating her demand with a sob.

Slowly releasing her was his biggest mistake. As his arm dropped to his side, Erin swung her uninjured arm back and slapped him across the face with a loud "Twack!"

Reeling from the blow he covered his cheek and glaring at her began to walk again towards his Apparation spot. Not quite finished with him she screamed, "Don't you ever, ever touch me again! Do you hear me Snape?! Dammit, listen to me when I'm talking to you!"

She ran in front of him to keep him from walking, and when she wouldn't get out of his path he unceremoniously shoved her to the ground. "You son of a bitch!" she yelled again and scrambled to her feet chasing him again. Tackling his legs she brought him to the ground.

"What the fuck is your problem?" he demanded. "Are you really too stupid to realize Harry's life is at stake?" he continued.

Seething with anger she spat, "Don't you dare call me stupid, you worthless bastard!"

Getting to his feet he scowled at her, and answered, "I may be a worthless bastard, but at least I don't overestimate my worth. Take a good look in the mirror Worhli. At least I have a place in this world. At this rate you're destined to just be some man's piece of ass. After all, that's all you're good for isn't it? Get yourself back to the castle, spread your legs for the next guy who comes along, maybe he'll be an adequate meal ticket."

He turned his back to her and she spat, "How dare you," but was interrupted by a loud "Pop!" Two bodies appeared from nowhere at the edge of the school grounds. Erin heard a "Clunk" and saw a shiny metal object drop to the ground by them. Dumbledore and McGonagall walked into the moonlight looking haggard and levitating something, no someone in front of them.

"Evening Severus, Erin. Before you ask, Harry will be fine. He did not sustain anything that Poppy cannot fix in time. I suggest you head back to the castle." Dumbledore looked solemnly at each of them and continued guiding Harry's floating body towards the castle.

Erin watched their retreating backs for a few moments. When she was certain they were out of earshot she turned back to Snape. "Well, it seems they didn't need you tonight. The only thing I'm sorry about is that I ever was misguided enough to believe that I needed you. I won't make that mistake again." Choking back a sob, Erin stalked back to the castle, without a single backwards glance.

Resigning to forget Snape, Erin began exploring the castle that following night and every night that week, turning up nothing. Erin found many locked doors, but at this point, her key didn’t work in any of them. The worst part was she couldn’t remember which doors she had tried from the night before, and she seemed to be constantly retracing her steps.

Her journey was a lonely one. Walking down the castle’s many corridors, it dawned on her how abandoned and ominous the castle really was. She missed the students who even in the middle of the night, made the castle feel as if it were alive.

The long nights gave her time to ponder her last fight with Severus. Her public conversations with Snape had become civil in appearance as per Dumbledore’s request. She bit back her sarcastic comments for the benefit of the others around her. Unfortunately for her the beginning of her second week searching Hogwarts hallways, she ran into Snape.

“Are you looking for something, Professor?”

Thinking she was alone in the hallway she jumped a foot and turned with her hand to her chest. “Snape, you scared the crap out of me.”

“An added bonus. I repeat, are you looking for something?”

“Just a door.”

“You’ve passed about ten doors.”

“I’m looking for the door that this key,” she said holding up the key for his perusal, “opens.”

“I see.”

As she unsuccessfully tried a door that she hadn’t seen the other night, Snape watched. It dawned on her suddenly that he was being civil to her without the benefit of other people. They'd been avoiding each other as much as possible, with their public meetings artificially friendly. “Are you actually being civil to me in private?”

“Why do you have to ask questions with such obvious answers?”

“It was more of a sarcastic question, really. So, what’s wrong, did you find out that I’m dying and you’ve decided to take pity on me?”

Rolling his eyes, he walked away from her, “That’ll teach me for trying to be civil to you.”

Erin watched his retreating back and sighed deeply. Why do you have to be mean to him? Because he was mean to me! “Oh, for heaven’s sake, quit arguing with yourself, and get on with it,” she muttered quietly.

Trying door after door, Erin was exhausted when she looked at her watch. It was four o’clock in the morning. There was one door left in the corridor. “Oh, yes, with my luck it would be the last door that I would try this evening. How come I’ve never seen this door before? Oh, what the hell.” She stuck the key in the lock and turned. It clicked. “No, it did not just click,” she stated disbelieving. But the door swung open and Erin stared at the darkness inside disbelieving her eyes. Pulling out her wand she muttered, “Lumos,” and entered the room cautiously.

It seemed to be a storage room of some sort. “What does Dumbledore expect me to learn from this?” she wondered, picking up some old text books and sneezing because of the dust on them, “Maybe he wants me to take better care of stuff I don’t use, ugh.”

She turned to leave the room when her reflection caused her to stop. Looking at the object carefully she recognized it from Harry’s description. It was the Mirror of Erised. “It will show me my heart’s desire,” she said numbly staring at the mirror without looking into it properly. “This is why Dumbledore wanted me to find this room. I’ll bet he’s the one who made sure I got that Christmas cracker. Do I want to see what is my heart’s desire?”

The mirror was right in front of her. All she had to do was step up to it to see herself properly and then she would know what her heart’s desire truly was, or for that matter, who her heart’s desire truly was. Just do it, Worhli, use that Gryffindor courage. She tried to talk herself into just looking. What are you so afraid of? Is it because the mirror may tell you something you already know? For goodness sake, just look already. Despite her vigorous pep talks, she couldn’t make herself stand fully in front of the mirror.

Her feet seemed to have rooted themselves to the floor, but Erin was determined to not waste this opportunity. “I’ve been trying to figure out who I want to be with, and here this mirror sits right in front of me to tell me the answer to it, and I can’t even look into the damn thing. What the hell is the matter with me?”

Finally she was so exasperated that she stomped in front of the mirror, but kept her eyes on the floor. Slowly raising her head, she saw her reflection with a familiar face right next to hers. He had his arm around her and they were both smiling. Erin checked behind her to make sure he wasn’t really in the room with her, but no, she was alone, except for the figures in the mirror.

“I should have known it would be you.”