An American Professor

After the newspaper article hype in early May things around the castle buckled down. Everyone was preparing for final exams. Erin was back to her crazy schedule of studying, teaching and running. She did receive frequent correspondence from Charlie. And despite fielding never ending questions from her students, and in particular the Weasleys, Erin was able to concentrate on studying.

For the most part, excitement over Erin’s reported relationship with Charlie subsided by the time exams were starting. She actually received a howler from Gilderoy Lockhart, which caused a commotion for a few days, but the students forgot about it when they began stressing over their exams. Although for Erin, when she needed to break from studying she tended to reminisce back to the morning in the Great Hall when his magically magnified slightly effeminate voice echoed off the walls yelling,

‘HOW DARE YOU TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS! TO THINK THAT YOU WOULD PICK SOMEONE SO COMMON OVER THE MOST HANDSOME AND DESIRABLE WIZARD OF OUR TIME! WE COULD HAVE HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN TOGETHER! OBVIOUSLY THE ONLY TASTE THAT YOU POSSESS IS IN YOUR MOUTH!

Erin had forgotten to be embarrassed the day that howler came in. Instead it was a nice reprieve from worrying about Severus and Sirius. In fact, it was the first time she’d laughed so hard in quite a long time. So, during final exam preparations she recalled the howler several times, and having a good laugh would continue on.

The exams she gave for her Muggle Studies classes caused quite a bit of grumbling amongst the students, but they all did very well on them. Her own exams for fourth year studies were progressing quite well. She did have to agree with Hermione that the substitute Potions Professor didn’t challenge the students the way that Severus did.

As she was in the library preparing for her Transfiguration final, Harry sat down at her table. She was rather surprised to see him, as he hadn’t spoken with her since the article about her and Charlie was published. Looking up into his emerald eyes it was immediately apparent that this was not going to be a fun conversation.

Closing her book, Erin asked, “So, what did I do now?”

“I just want you to know that I’m ok about you and Charlie. If you had to be with somebody besides Snuffles I’m glad it’s him and not the slimy git, Snape.”

“Um, ok, I didn’t know that you were not ok with it, and anyways, there isn’t anything for you to be ok, or not ok about. And I might add that it’s Professor Snape to you.”

Harry's eyes bore into hers, “I was bothered about you and Charlie, you know because of Snuffles.”

“Harry, Charlie and I are just friends. Snuffles and I are just friends. You of all people should know not to believe everything you read.”

“So, you and Charlie aren’t a couple? The way that Ron talked, well, he acted like he knew all along. And then when Snuffles asked me, I told him what Ron said.”

“You’ve talked to him!” she hissed.

“Well, yeah and-“

“What did you say? Was he here?”

“No, he wasn’t here, he wrote me to ask if what he saw in the paper was true, and I told him, well, I told him that it was because Ron said it was.”

Erin put her head in her hands and moaned, “Did he write back?”

“No, I mean, he just said that he wouldn’t be coming back here anytime soon, and told me to have a good summer, and he’d send me a letter next school year because he can’t write to me this summer because of what he'll be doing.”

“Dammit, dammit, dammit,” she swore as she rested her head on the table.

“Does it make a difference? I mean, I can’t write back to him, I’m sorry that I told him wrong. So, you want to be with Snuffles?” he asked excitedly.

“No, it’s not that. Well, maybe, I don’t know, it’s just that now he probably won’t even speak to me because he thinks I’m with Charlie, and sheesh, now what am I going to do,” she mumbled from her spot with her head on the table. Jerking her head up suddenly, “I have to go, I have to take this test, you didn’t do anything wrong, Harry. Some people have hard heads and only hear what they want to hear.” With that she stood and practically ran from the library with tears stinging the back of her eyes.

After the incident in the library, Erin kept to herself, finishing up her exams and grading her student’s exams. There was still no word from Severus or Sirius, but Charlie was faithfully writing to her almost everyday. She originally tried to respond to each letter, but gave up and began responding about once a week.

Erin said good-bye to the students and especially the 7th years with the other professors. The Weasley twins smiled extra broad and said, “We’ll be seeing you soon, Professor.” They winked and nudged each other. Keeping up her plastered-on grin, Erin excused herself and went to her rooms.

The castle felt very empty without the students. Erin felt a great let down after they had left. Looking around her rooms one evening about a week after everyone had left she came to a decision.

Seeking out Professor Dumbledore she explained herself, “You see Professor, I just need to get back to my roots. I need some time to think. I know that I was supposed to take summer classes in Divination and Care of Magical Creatures, but I just need to take a break. I can make up the classes next year, or later this summer, I just need to take a break.”

“I agree, Erin. You’re free to come and go as you please. I will inform Hagrid and Professor Trelawney of the change. I’m sure that they will be sympathetic.”

Taking a deep breath Erin pressed on. “Professor, have you heard anything from Snuffles? Or is there any news on Severus? I can’t leave without knowing.”

“Erin, you know that I can’t tell you anything, even if I knew anything.”

Hanging her head she responded, “I know, I know. Will you do me a favor, though? If you hear from Snuffles while I’m gone, let him know where I am, and not to believe everything he reads. The same goes for Severus. Would it be alright if Violet stays here? She won’t be any trouble, and I’ll ask Hagrid to look after her.”

“Violet will be fine. I’ll speak with Hagrid myself, just go and pack now. Enjoy your holiday, and if you need me, you know where to find me.”

Impulsively, Erin hugged Dumbledore in thanks and then practically ran back to her rooms to begin packing. In a few hours she had packed all of her necessities and thanked her lucky stars that she’d maintained her rent on her apartment just in case. Looking around the room that had been her home for the past year, Erin gathered up the last of the belongings she would take with her when the newspaper containing the article about her and Charlie fell out of a book.

Picking it up with a laugh, she tossed onto the table and turned to leave. As the Hogwarts Express was departing from the station, Erin closed her eyes imagining what it would be like to be home in Miami again. Little did she know that at that exact moment Snape was bursting into her rooms looking for her, and instead found the article about her and Charlie.

Erin opened her eyes with a start and had the sudden impulse to return to Hogwarts and postpone her trip, but unfortunately the train had already begun to move. As the station became smaller and smaller she felt like she should return to the school, almost like she had forgotten something, but decided that she was just being silly and settled back into her seat in her empty compartment to enjoy the train trip.

The flight home was uneventful, and Erin arrived back in the States, when it was just barely the same day that she left. She took a cab back to her apartment and felt relieved that it was just the way she had left it, if not a little bare. The summer heat lingered in the small space and she hurried to switch on the air conditioner. The hum filled the apartment and Erin made her way to her bedroom to get some much needed sleep.

Waking up late into the morning, the sounds of the city reminded her of where she was. After taking a quick shower, Erin realized that the fridge was completely empty. So, she went out to the corner grocer’s to pick up some food and along the way bought herself a cherry Slurpee. God, it’s good to be home.

After readjusting to the time change, Erin quickly moved back to living as she did before knowing she was a witch. She spent much of her time baking in the sun at the beach, and it wasn’t long before she’d regained her honey brown skin tone.

Catching up with all of her Muggle friends didn’t take long. Nothing seemed to change with them. Erin found herself longing for her conversations with Sirius and Severus, and even Charlie. Stop thinking about all of that, you’re back in a place that you love so you can relax. Thinking about them is not relaxing.

Erin had been home about two weeks when she was shopping in a small boutique. Over the piped in music a song came on. She’d heard it before, but for some reason this time, she really stopped and listened to the lyrics.

Lost is how I’m feeling lying
In your arms
When the would outside’s too
Much to take
That all ends when I’m with you

Even though there may be times
It seems I’m far away
Never wonder where I am
Cause I am always by your side

As the song finished its chorus, Erin had tears streaming down her face and couldn’t stand to listen any longer. She knew she must look very odd as she fled the store choking back a sob. She couldn’t possibly remember the trip from the boutique back to her apartment, but somehow she managed to get there.

Her tears blinded her as she made her way up the stairs to her apartment. Throwing herself onto the sofa she sobbed for what seemed like hours. She knew what she had to do.

As nice as it was being in Miami again, she realized that sadly this wasn’t her home any longer. Her home was at Hogwarts with the people that felt like her family. She couldn’t turn her back on the Wizarding World. Ignoring her powers wouldn’t make them go away. She needed to face the truth. She had to find out if she was Voldemort’s daughter, and whether she was or she wasn’t she knew she wanted to be a part of the alliance that brought him down.

And maybe most importantly she had to figure out for whom her feelings were the strongest. Severus had told her before he left that he loved her as a friend, but now she was ready to find out if it could ever be more than that between them. And she knew how Sirius felt about her, and maybe she felt the same about him, but she hadn’t given herself the chance to figure it out. As far as Charlie was concerned, she knew she was kidding herself. She was attracted to him, and a relationship with him would be uncomplicated, but when she did some serious soul searching she knew that she didn’t love him now and never would. She needed to stop trying to mistake caring for him with loving him.

Resigning herself to be on the first plane back to London she packed with vigor. Erin slipped into the Wizarding side of Miami to send Dumbledore a note that simply said, “I’ve decided to come home. I’ll be there in a few days.” She scrambled around making arrangements to give up her apartment. Donating the rest of her furnishings to Goodwill was the last thing she did before taking one last look around her now bare apartment. It had been her first real home. Instead of feeling sad about leaving, she was excited about going to the place she now called home.

The flight into London was turbulent. Not being a fan of flying as it was, the trip was very difficult for her. The heat in London was just as hot as in Miami, except that it felt hotter to Erin without the sea breeze. July was not a forgiving month. By the time she had reached the train station, she was feeling nauseous and weak, but she pressed on.

It felt like hours before she reached the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and was suddenly concerned that she wouldn’t be able to get through. Professor Dumbledore had written her back assuring her that someone would meet her in Hogsmeade as well as sending her a ticket for the train, but she was suddenly overcome with butterflies in her stomach. Instead of taking the barrier at a run, she decided to lean against it casually.

With an ‘Ooomph!’ she fell through the barrier. The steam engine was waiting for her and she pulled her bags onto the train with her. Erin didn’t see any other passengers on the train, but then again, she wasn’t really looking. Once she’d settled herself in a compartment with her luggage she let the jet lag and nausea take over and fell soundly asleep.

Erin awoke with a jolt realizing that the train was stopped. Her stomach was still unsettled, but she hefted her bags up and exited the train. Looking around the platform she realized that not only was it dark outside, but that there was nobody there to greet her. Shrugging she began the hike to Hogwarts, peering over her shoulder into the darkness every few minutes.

Reaching the castle steps, Erin dragged her luggage into the foyer and stood looking around for some sign of life in the castle. After reaching her rooms, she realized that she still hadn’t seen a single soul on her trek through the castle. Fearing the worse, Erin gathered her wand and began prowling around her rooms. Finding nothing out of the ordinary she felt her panic begin to rise. What if everyone had disappeared? Or been taken captive? How would she get help? Who would she go to? Just as she was about to run out of her door with her wand drawn she spotted the mantle clock. It read 3:39 AM.

“Way to go, Erin,” she grumbled to herself feeling extremely foolish for overreacting. Sighing loudly, she stumbled into the bedroom and fully clothed lay down on the bed for a long night’s sleep.

When she awoke in the morning it was well into the day. The sunlight was streaming through her bedroom window, and groaning she pulled the covers over her head. “I definitely did not miss this part of waking up here,” she grumbled. A familiar “Meowr?” brought her head out from under the sanctity of her sheet.

“Hey Violet, did you miss me?” In answer, the cat began rubbing her head against Erin’s hand. “I’ll just take that as a yes.” Stretching, Erin stood and padded into the bathroom to start her day with a refreshing shower. When she finished she was toweling dry her hair as she entered her bedroom and saw that Violet was gone again. “Sheesh, nice of you to drop by Violet.”

Checking her watch she saw that it was noon, just in time for lunch. She hurried to get dressed in a t-shirt and pair of shorts and ran as fast as her flip-flops would take her to the Great Hall. Bursting through the door, the hall was eerily empty. Only about a half dozen professors sat at the head table.

Taking a vacant seat next to Dumbledore she exchanged pleasantries while eating. “So, Erin, I trust your trip went smoothly.”

“Actually, it was pretty awful, the flight was turbulent, the train ride was long and I had to lug my bags from the station to my room by myself. That’ll teach me to pack almost everything I own.”

Dumbledore’s brow furrowed, “No one met you at the station?”

“No. Was someone supposed to?”

“Well, I had asked Professor Snape to meet you. That’s funny, he said he wouldn’t mind helping out.”

Shrugging it off, Erin quickly rushed to find excuses for his negligent actions, “He probably forgot, or maybe he thought I was coming in on a different day. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.”

After lunch, Erin began to wander the hallways. The castle seemed so bare and almost sad without the students running around. Erin half-heartedly searched the library and the upper hallways for Snape. She knew he would probably be down in his dungeon and when she couldn’t find him she figured if she really wanted to see him she could go down there, but at the moment the trek down didn’t seem appealing.

Staring out of a window at the pristine lawn, Erin decided she should go visit Hagrid. Visiting him always lifted her spirits. As she made her way to the front hall, instead of turning towards the foyer, she found herself drifting towards the stairs that led to the dungeons.

I wonder why he wasn’t there last night. It’s not like him to let you down like that. I’m sure it was an accident; he’s probably got a lot on his mind. But maybe the bigger question is, why aren’t you rushing to go see him. There was a time when you couldn’t hold yourself back from seeing him. Maybe it’s because you’re afraid he left you at the station intentionally. Go visit Hagrid, put it out of your mind. Heeding her own inner dialogue, Erin turned on her heel to go out of the front door, and ran smack into a solid wall of black.

The voice echoed in the hallway, “You’re back.”