Harry Potter and the Book of Impossibility

Chapter 7 - Cooking and Love-talk.

 

There were hundreds of house-elves, supposed to do the dishes, but only looking to the students.

"Welcome to the kitchen of Hogwarts," Dobby said happily to the students, "I will start with reading you names, to make sure everyone is here."

Harry noticed that Dobby wasn’t just a normal house-elf, well, he knew that already, but he was more different than he was before. He spoke normal, like a human, he could read and write, and he wore normal clothes, just like every teacher. There were five more house-elves wearing normal clothes, Harry recognised one of them as Winky. She wasn’t crying anymore, but looked very happy instead. The only difference is that she had a fat belly. "Look Hermione, Winky is happy!" Harry said, Hermione looked approving to Winky, she looked back smiling. "Must be because of all the butterbeer, she has a beer belly." Harry said laughing.

"Well, I tell you one thing, that isn’t a beer belly. I think she’s pregnant!" said Hermione.

"What?!?" Ron yelled, "Winky? Pregnant?"

"How do you know that, Wheezy?" Dobby said, he had heard Ron yell.

"I… ehh… someone told me," Ron said, "and my name is Weasley.

"Your right, she will get a baby very soon. I will become father. A young house-elf works exactly the same as a young human. You will learn from it. It will be a special subject, only for Harry Potter’s class." When Dobby was finished, Parvati and Lavender gave a little scream of happiness, "How cute, a little baby!"

 

"Today we will first learn magical ways of doing the dishes. As you see, everything from lunch is transferred here, and clean plates are transferred to the great hall. Everything is dirty, you will be cleaning it.

After that, we will start on cooking, you will be preparing dinner every Monday. You have to do it good, because you have to eat it yourself." Said Dobby to the class. The other elves were leaving to do other jobs around the castle. Only the five elves in normal clothes, and Dobby staid.

 

"These are Winky, Diddy, Zwonky, Kwaidy and Lalay, they will be assisting me, and helping you with everything."

"Were will we start… Yes, dish washing.

Before magic dish washing was invented (1743), we did had to do the dishes.

There’s a simple spell for doing the dishes, but the more dishes, the harder it is to cast the spell. You will be starting with one plate in a time, in the end of the lesson, I want you to do five plates, with one spell.

To do the spell, you have to concentrate on a clean plate, or fork, or knife, or spoon, it depends on what you wish to clean. Combinations will make it harder.

When you are concentrating on the dish, you say "Nekamnoohcs’. The spell works on everything, so if you want to clean a table, or whatever, you can use the spell to clean it. Only clothes and living creatures have different spells, but we will be learning them later.

Mr. Longbottom, will you please come here to show the class, I can’t do it."

Neville looked at him, Harry was sure he would make the whole kitchen dirty, instead of cleaning a plate.

Neville went to a dirty plate, waited a minute, to concentrate on a clean plate, and said "Nekamnoohcs". Instantly the plate was clean.

"Good work, now say ‘Nemiurpo’ and it will go to it’s closet. The Nemiurpo spells is easy, you just point your wand at it and say the spell. It will go to it’s place. It works with everything except things that doesn’t have a standard place, like humans."

Neville performed the spell, and the plate flew towards a closet on the other end of the long kitchen. Dodging all the obstacles that were in it’s way.

 

"That was very good work, Mr. Longbottom, 5 points to Gryffindor." Dobby said.

Everybody looked astonished, Neville hardly got points for Gryffindor, only with Herbology, and that one time in their first year, when Neville tried to stop them from going out.

 

"If everybody could make pairs of two people, you can start doing the dishes." Dobby said.

 

Harry and Karlien made a perfect team, they were the second to finish with their pile of dishes, only Neville and Lavender were faster. Neville seemed to be very good at it, just as he is with Herbology.

 

"Very well," Dobby said, "lets move on to your next pile, you will be doing it with two plates at a time."

Harry failed the first time, but they still managed to finish second.

They went on with cleaning, until they arrived at their last pile of dishes.

 

"Okay, you can all do six plates with one spell, that’s more than I had expected, let’s see who can do the whole pile at once, every pair, chose someone to do it, the other one will be doing it next week, we just don’t have enough dishes to clean."

 

Harry and Karlien decided that Karlien could do try it. Neville also tried.

When all of them yelled ‘Nekamnoohcs’, nothing happened, then they heard Neville say the spell, he was late, but it worked! All his plates were clean. It was a pile of at least 20 plates, everybody burst into applause for Neville, he smiled.

 

"Very good Mr. Longbottom, very few wizards can do it as good as you can, ten more point to Gryffindor.

Let’s go see if you are just as good with cooking, if all of you will follow me please."

They followed him to the cooking area of the kitchen. There were a lot of pots and pans, kitchen utensils and cooking ranges.

"We will be starting with a simple meal, you will peal the potatoes, clean the cauliflower.

Later, you will be fry the sausage and warm up the potatoes and cauliflower. Currysauce, and gravy.

Look in our books how to do that. Me and my assistants will be walking around, if you need assistance, just ask, that’s why we’re here."

 

They started cooking, Harry and Karlien looked in their books, and began to peel the potatoes.

Ron made one explode, but only once, he menaced to peel potatoes after that accident.

Neville was finished first. He found another subject were he was good at.

 

After an two hours, the kitchen was smelling delicious.

They had peeled hundreds of potatoes, fried hundreds of sausages, made hundreds of litres of Currysauce and cleaned almost a forest of cauliflower.

Everything was on the fire now, ready to be served.

Dobby dismissed the class, and they headed towards to great hall, to eat their self-made dinner. When they entered, the whole school was sitting in the great hall, waiting for their dinner, Dumbledore and the other teachers were there also.

 

They all sat down on the Gryffindor table, Dobby entered the great hall, went to Dumbledore, told him something, and a big smile appeared on his face.

He stood up to announce something.

Everybody was quiet now, and looked at Dumbledore.

"Dobby just informed me that the first lesson of Domestic science has been a great success. The fifth years from Gryffindor has prepared a delicious dinner for you. Tomorrow, dinner will be made by Ravenclaw, Hufflepuf and Slytherin fifth years. They reason that Gryffindor is alone, is a privet reason for the house-elves, therefor, I won’t be able to tell you, so don’t ask or complain about it. Let’s eat!" He clapped his hands, and everybody got a plate of potatoes, cauliflower and a sausage. There was Currysauce and gravy on the tables, for the ones who wanted it.

Harry disguised the idea of Currysauce over his food, Karlien however, told him it’s delicious, "It’s a Dutch recipe, I ate it a lot back in Holland. You have to try it, come on."

So Harry tried it, Ron and Hermione did to. All three of them loved it.

"I never knew I would learn how to cook! I never learned it when I was home, and I always thought my wife would cook for me." Ron said.

Hermione said angrily at Ron,

"We are no slaves, Ron, were not as stupid as house-elves, I would never cook for you later, you can do that yourself." Said Hermione.

"Wow! Did you guys already decided to marry?" Harry said.

"I didn’t try to say that! I meant that we women would never cook for him, am I right Karlien?"

"I’ll cook for him, because I love cooking," Karlien said.

Harry looked astonished.

"Does that mean I don’t have to cook for myself later?" Harry said.

"Are YOU planing on marrying, Karlien?" Ron said.

"I don’t think that’s a bad idea, but he has to propose me as soon as possible, the later he does, the more change I say no. Starting… NOW." Karlien said laughing.

But Harry didn’t see that as a joke.

"I’ll ask with Christmas." He said serious.

"Okay, I’ll remind you of that one then." Karlien said, looking very strange, as if she hoped he would have taken it serious, but thought he didn’t.

"Ron, you must know, how old do you have to be to marry in the wizard world?" Harry asked.

"You can marry when you’re 16, why? Are you going to marry Karlien, next year?" said Ron.

"Maybe," Harry said, looking at Karlien, she smiled, "let’s first wait if she says yes."

"Let’s make a deal," Karlien said, "I’ll marry Harry when we’re sixteen, but you two will arrange everything, the wedding, the party afterwards, make the invitations. Harry and I will only have to say who’s invited and who’s not. And I suspect a very good party."

"Good joke, Karlien." Ron said.

"No, not a joke, I’m serious, I really am," Karlien said, "have you ever heard about ‘The One’?"

They all said ‘no’.

"It’s one of the oldest sorts of magic, and it’s really rare.

There is always somebody meant for you. The male and female can only be born within a week after the other. They will have love at first sight, they will be the same size, they will like the same food, they will be able to do telepathy, their children will have extra strong magical powers, it does not work with muggles or muggle-borns.

Once they have seen each other, they will all ways be in love with each other, love-potions doesn’t work with them, none mood-potion or spell does.

I think Harry is ‘The One’ for me, it was love at first sight, we have the same length, I’m one week older, we like the same food, it all fits."

"But we can’t do telepathy, can’t we?" Harry asked.

"Not yet, it will only work once we’ve made out. I guess we’ll see if I’m right with Christmas."

"Karlien, I thought we wouldn’t tell about that!" Harry said.

"Never mind," said Ron, "we had the same deal, but then on the first day of Hogwarts. We won’t tell, if you don’t tell."

"And if we can do telepathy after that, we’re sure about it. Because this is the only way to do telepathy. There has only been one known couple last century, Lily and James Potter, but that one was even a bigger mystery, because Lily was muggle-born! I believe only Dumbledore has a logical theory about that mystery, but didn’t tell anybody yet." Said Karlien.

 

"Maybe he will tell me, because I’m their son," said Harry, "But let’s go to Hagrid now!"

"You’re right, we promised to come." Hermione said.

 

They left the castle and walked to Hagrid’s little house.

They knocked on the door, and Hagrid opened, he was smiling.

"Hi guys, come in!"

"Hi Hagrid," Harry said, "meet Karlien, my girlfriend."

"Pleasure to meet you, Rubeus Hagrid, call me Hagrid, everybody does.

You got the perfect guy." Hagrid said. Ron looked angry to Hagrid, "The perfect guy for you, I meant." He added quickly, Ron looked happy again.

"Come in, tea?"

"Yes, please." Karlien said polite.

"Oh, please don’t be to polite, I can’t stand that. Just say ‘okay’, okay?" Hagrid said.

"Yes, sir" Karlien said, laughing.

They all laughed.

 

They entered Hagrid’s house. Hagrid began to make tea, he gave them all a chocolate frog.

Harry got a picture of himself, it was really rare, there were only made a hundred, he gave it to Ron, who collected them.

Ron got Agrippa, "I’m looking for this one for 7 years now! It was the only one I didn’t have. Now my collection is complete. There are rumours that if you have them all, put them in a collectors case, specially made for them, you will get a card of yourself, but nobody ever got all of them! I’m going to order a case tonight! Let’s see if it works."

 

They were talking about the events of the holidays.

"I went to Olympe this summer, we had to do something, Dumbledore’s orders." Hagrid said.

"I met Karlien this summer." Harry and Karlien told the whole story, about how they met, why they were allowed to do magic, about the house-warming party, about Wormtail, about the Quidditch match with they Weasley, Hermione, Karlien, Penelope and Angelina, about the day at the lake, the barbecue, everything.

They talked for almost two hours about being with the Weasley.

Suddenly something re-entered his mind, something he had totally forgotten.

"Hagrid, is it okay, if we go barbecue once, with the all the Weasleys here in school, me, Karlien and Hermione. We took the barbecue to Hogwarts, it’s in our room."

"Barbecue? Sounds nice, but I have to ask Dumbledore first." Hagrid said.

 

It was nine o’clock, and Hermione and Ron were tired, because of the deal they made, about the first night at Hogwarts, which was last night.

Hagrid walked them up to the Gryffindor common room.

They entered, and Ron and Hermione went to bed immediately, to sleep. In Ron’s case, ordering the collectors case, and then go to sleep.

 

Harry called the whole Quidditch team together, to have a meeting. Harry sent all the Gryffindors, except the Quidditch players, to the other side of the common room, and created a privacy screen. He wanted to keep Karlien as a surprise. Everyone who already knew had sworn not to tell it.

 

"So," Harry began, because he was the captain, "Katie, Alicia, meet Karlien, our new keeper."

Katie and Alicia introduced them selves to Karlien.

"We needed a new keeper and captain, because Wood left school, I’m the new captain, as you all know. I think most of us have trained a little bit over the holiday, at least we did."

"We too." Said Katie and Alicia.

"Good, but last year, there was no Quidditch. I’ve been to the World cup final last year, and I want us to play even better than Ireland. I want teamwork.

The chasers have to read each others minds. They have to give signals to each other. I’ve bought a copy of Quidditch through the ages, there are a lot of special moves in it.

I want Fred and George to be able to do the ‘Bludger Backbeat’ and you both have to practise the ‘Dopplebeater Defence’.

I want Karlien to be able to do the ‘Double Eight Loop’, which won’t be difficult, because the has an excellent broom, a Nimbus 2500.

She told me she already mastered ‘Starfish and Stick’.

Angelina, Alicia and Katie will have to learn the ‘Hawkshead Attacking Formation’, the ‘Parkin’s Pincer’, ‘Porskoff Ploy’, ‘Reverse Pass’ and last but not least the ‘Woollongong Shimmy’.

I’ll try to do the ‘Wronski Feint’ and I don’t believe Plumpton, I therefor won’t try to do the ‘Plumpton Pass’.

We all have to learn ‘Sloth Grip Roll’ and the ‘Transylvanian Tackle’.

We will be training for these moves, and the teamwork/communication has to be perfect.

If you don’t know what these moves are, you have to read Quidditch through the Ages, they are all explained in there.

I also got a very interesting book called ‘Quidditch through the ages, At Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry’ it’s written by Madam Hooch. You can borrow it if you want to.

Any question?"

 

"Yes, I have a question," George said, "What if we play against Slytherin, they always play foul. Can we play foul to them too?"

"You can, but try the ‘Transylvanian Tackle’, and if you really want to make a foul, please do it in a way Madame Hooch can’t see it. Any more questions?"

"No? Okay, ‘Keilbup’" and the privacy screen disappeared.