Harry Potter and the Book of Impossibility

Chapter 8 - Wizard FM (WFM)

 

Next morning, when the whole school was at breakfast, the owls swooped into the Great Hall, carrying the mail as usual.

Harry, Ron and Hermione choked, when a huge green owl landed in front of Harry, carrying a scarlet envelope, it was a Howler.

"Why are you so scared of that?" Karlien asked.

"You’ll see." Harry said frightened.

"You better open it now," Ron said, "It’ll explode if you don’t open. That’s even worse than listening to it."

Harry opened it.

Draco Malfoy’s voice came out of it, magically magnified to a hundred times it’s usual volume.

 

Potter!!!

 

I hate you!!! I have to go to Azkaban, my whole life, thanks to you!

But I don’t mind, The Dark Lord will free me and my father, we will be his faithful servants, and I will get you back. I will torture you until you die, my father learned me some nice tricks. If I don’t escape, I hope The Dark Lord will get you, and do one of the most cruel thinks known, with you. He will tie you up, torture and kill all your friends, and after all your friends, he will torture you to death!

Have fun with that Muggle-loving fool Dumb(eldore)!

 

Your worst enemy, Malfoy.

 

The whole Great Hall laughed as if their lives depended on it.

Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, Lupin and Black walked to Harry, they however were looking serious, they were not laughing at all.

"Don’t mind this, Harry" Sirius said.

"He’s right, Malfoy won’t be able to escape from Azkaban, and we’ve protected Azkaban with the necessary protection against Voldemort." Dumbledore said.

"Please go on with your breakfast, and forget about all this. I’ve got an announcement that will make you look happy again, you’ll hear after breakfast."

And they all left again.

 

"Malfoy thinks a lot of himself doesn’t he?" Karlien said.

"You’re right, he’s just an big idiot." Ron said.

"I hope they give him a kiss, those Dementors" Harry said.

"Harry! You can’t mean that?" Hermione did.

"Yes, I do mean it, He tried to do it with us, remember? I’m just smart enough to leave it to the Dementors, instead of doing it myself. I won’t go to Azkaban for it." Said Harry.

 

When everybody was finished with breakfast, Dumbledore stood up.

"Can I have your attention please?" Everybody turned around and looked at him.

"All lessons after lunch are cancelled. Wizard FM will be stationed in the Gryffindor common room today, they will be interviewing some people. The Gryffindor people will be able to request songs, the other houses will have to ask a Gryffindor to request a song. All muggle songs will be able. Because if there’s any magic that muggles can do better than we can, it’s making music. There will be radio receivers in the common rooms of the other houses, they can listen too."

 

Every Gryffindor was excited, Wizard FM is the most popular radio station for the youth in the whole UK, everybody was honoured to be able to see the DJ and request songs.

But first they had school.

Harry had his first DADA lesson.

 

When they entered the room, Remus and Sirius were already waiting for them.

Harry, Karlien, Ron and Hermione found a place in front of the class. They said hello to Sirius and Remus.

Remus started the lesson.

"I’m glad to see you all back, I have something to say before we start," He began, "Last year I was here, I was irritated because everybody called me ‘Professor Lupin’, I want you to call me Remus, and you can call Professor Black, Sirius. Some of you are already doing it," He looked at Harry and co., "I like that very much. But back to business now. Werewolves." The class looked very strange to Remus.

"You all know I’m a Werewolf, and I want you to know what to do if I bite you by accident. There’s a spell that must be performed within an hour after the bite. It’s pretty difficult, but I don’t think you will have problems with it. Unfortunately we won’t be able to test it, because I’m NOT going to bite one of you on purpose. If you just do exactly as I say, you will be able to do it, when it really happens. We will also be learning a spell that must be performed while a werewolf is changing, when that spell is performed, a bite won’t make you a werewolf, it won’t however stop it from being able to bite you as a normal wolf. That spell only works for one full moon, next time, it has to be performed again. There also is a potion that makes it keep it’s human mind and spirit, in it’s wolf body, Wolfsbane."

 

"We’ll be starting with the second spell I told you about. Please open your books at page 745."

They all opened their books on page 745 and began to read it carefully. Once everybody was ready, Remus said,

"I will show you the spell, if it works correctly, it will give a flash of purple-brown light, the spell is ‘Netjib Tein’, repeat me."

"Netjib Tein" The whole class said.

"Excellent," Remus said, "Now I will call you on front of the class one by one, and you will try to perform the spell. I don’t mind if it fails the first time, because you are here to learn. So please don’t have fear of failure. Karlien, will you come up here please?"

Karlien walked to Remus and Sirius.

She raised her wand and said "Netjib Tein" a flash of purple-brown light came from her wand.

"Very good, Harry, your turn." Harry succeeded too. Everybody except Ron and Neville succeeded. Ron only did it after he tried twice, Neville took six times to perform the spell.

 

"Good work, one point to Gryffindor for everybody who succeeded, that’s all of you. No homework. Next week, We’ll learn the ‘Kaamnaadegno curse’, the first one I told you about.

Sirius and I will see you later today, we are interviewed as well. See you after lunch."

 

And they went to the Great Hall to have lunch.

Harry was very excited, because he was sure he would be interviewed. The whole UK will be listening.

"Will you please accompany me when I’m being interviewed? I’m really nervous, you know."

"Sure, why not, I think they want to ask us questions too, because we did some of your adventures together, remember?" Ron said.

"Yeah, your right. But what about Karlien? She wasn’t there, well only that time with Wormtail last summer." Said Harry.

"Harry, do you really think they don’t want to interview future Mrs. Potter?" Ron said.

Ron and Hermione laughed.

Harry and Karlien looked at each other. "They’re right, I do think we will marry if we are ‘The One’ for each other. Besides, you already promised me to ask me with Christmas, remember." Karlien said. Harry felt even more nervous, not only because of the radio, but also because of what is waiting for him with Christmas, deflower, getting engaged. I’m only 15, he thought, but promised is promised.

 

Harry and co. decided to go to the Gryffindor tower before all the others would go. They took their lunch with them, and walked up.

They entered the portrait, there were six wizards and witches in it Harry didn’t know, Dumbledore was there too.

"Ah, Harry, I was hoping you would come early. Meet Barry Paf, the most popular DJ from Wizard FM."

A long wizard, with a crew cut, he was good looking, and looked like he was a very nice person.

"Hi Harry, I’m Barry Paf, call me Barry. I’m very pleased to meet you Harry. Barry said.

"I feel the same about you, I’ve never listened wizard radio, but I’ve heard you are very popular." Harry said.

"Meet Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, two good friends of mine. Without their help I wouldn’t be here. And meet Karlien van Voorthuizen, my girlfriend."

They shacked hands and introduced themselves.

"I’ve got a request song, it’s my favourite song, it’s muggle." Karlien said.

"Okay, how’s the song called?"

"It’s from The Offspring, the song itself is called Self Esteem. Would you like to play that for me?"

"Why not, but not yet, I’m not on the air yet." Barry said.

Dumbledore took a wand, and waved with it. All chairs and tables disappeared, except the DJ table and chair around that table. He pulled a line around the DJ, nobody who wasn’t allowed, could get over it. The tables and chair were removed because people wanted to dance.

He waved again, and it became dark, there were coloured lights and special effects, something made smoke, and there was blacklight. It was just a real Disco, everything was complete except…

Dumbledore waved once more, and a little bar appeared, people could buy Butterbeer there. One witch went to stand behind the bar. Dumbledore left to prepare the other common rooms, three witches followed him, to serve the other bars.

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Karlien left to dress. They weren’t going to wear dress robes, because it was to hot for that. Karlien wore the same clothes as she did with the house-warming party. Hermione borrowed clothes from Karlien, because Hermione only had ordinary sweaters and T-shirts. Karlien got a lot of clothes to go out with, cool clothes. Hermione used some spells to make her hair just like with the Yule Ball. She did it very fast, faster than with the Yule Ball, because then she worked hours on it.

Harry magiced some of his old clothes into beautiful disco clothes, he did the same for Ron, who was really happy with it. After that, Hermione put on some make up, and Ron said she looked beautiful. He was right, she looked beautiful.

 

Suddenly Harry realised he couldn’t dance, and he told Karlien about it.

"Don’t worry, you just move on the music, just do something strange, I’ll be glad if you try, and I’m sure it won’t be that bad, I can’t dance either, I also always just do something."

"If you say so." Harry said uncomfortable.

 

When they re-entered the common room, there were a little more people, they left to the dormitories to dress, after a few minutes whole Gryffindor had arrived, and all of them left to dress for the disco.

Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus arrived, they headed to the DJ table, Harry and co. followed them. They all sat around a large round table, there were just enough chairs. Harry sat next to Barry and Karlien.

The others started to arrive back from their dorms. All dressed up, none of them in dress robes. But in regular disco clothes. When everybody arrived, they were all waiting for Barry to start.

"Before we air, I want to say some things," he said to his wand, which worked as a microphone, "first of all, when we’re talking, you’re quiet, you can talk a little bit, but don’t scream or talk loud, it will disturb the program. Second, We start at one o’clock, and we end at 9 o’clock. It will be a very long broadcast, the longest in the history of Wizard FM. From 9.30 till 1 o’clock, there will be just Disco, no broadcast. Between the broadcast and the Disco, 9.00-9.30 you will get dinner in your dorms, not in the Great Hall. Of course you can dance during the broadcast. Third, if you want to, you can go outside. You can, just go leave this room and leave the castle. But don’t stay in the caste, don’t go visit other houses. Be here, or outside, or on you way to here or outside. Fourth, only third years and higher are served alcohol, and please be careful with it, we don’t want drunk people, do we? It’s 2 minutes for one o’clock. Please be quiet in two minutes."

 

Two minutes later, there was a jingle which said "Wizard FM, your DJ for now is Barry Paf" there was music while that was said, by a woman voice.

"Good day listeners, today we have a special broadcast, It’s the longest broadcast in the history of your favourite radio station. I’m sitting here in the common room of Gryffindor, on Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, We’ll be having an interview with Harry Potter, who is siting next to me right, say Hello Harry," "Hello" Harry said, "further, there will be interviews with Sirius Black and Albus Dumbledore.

Of course you can ask question to Harry, Sirius and Dumbledore, and all the other Gryffindors, because they are all here. Just sent a fastparchment to me, and your question will be answered. Requesting songs, won’t be able today, we’ll leave the songs to all the kids in here. And the songs that I’m going to play now, is requested by Harry Potter’s girlfriend, Karlien. Here is The Offspring, with Self Esteem."

Lalalalala………

The song began, and Karlien jumped on the dance floor, took Harry with her, and started to dance. Nobody from wizard families knew the song, but everybody from muggle-families knew it, and started to jump too. Soon everybody was jumping and dancing. They loved it. The next song, Republica - Ready To Go, was also requested by Karlien, she loved Rock music.

 

When they danced for 15 minutes, Harry was called. Karlien followed him.

"I’m going to interview you after this song.

Are there any questions you don’t want me to ask?" Barry said.

There was a big pile of parchment next to him.

"No, but if you ask something I don’t want to answer, I’ll just say it. What is on all those papers?"

"This is fastparchment. We use it because we, wizards, have no such thing as telephone. This is a quick way to sent someone a short message, listeners use it to ask you questions. You can select some, to answer."

He gave the papers to Harry, who started to select some to answer.

 

Who is your girlfriend? Do you miss your parents? When did you discovered about Black? Is it true you are raised by Muggles? What’s you least favourite subject? And Why? And What’s your best subject?

 

But also selected some, not to answer.

 

Did you ever had sex? Can we go out sometime? Is it true that you’re dangerous, like Rita

Skeeter said? Did Hermione Granger used a love potion on you?

 

Harry didn’t feel like answering question about gossips made by Rite Skeeter.

 

He gave the questions, he decided to answer, to Barry, and threw the others in the fire place, it wasn’t burning, but he was used to throw useless parchment, like failed homework, in the fireplace.

 

"Good day listeners, I’m sitting next to Harry Potter, and he’s going to answer you some questions. We’ve received some questions already, and you can keep sending questions. Once in a while, we will take him from the dance floor, and he will answer questions. You can also ask Dumbledore and Sirius Black.

Harry, I told the listeners before, that you have a girlfriend. Who and how is she? How did you met her?"

He pointed his wand to Harry’s mouth, like a microphone, and Harry answered.

"My girlfriend? Well, she’s called Karlien, she’s Dutch, she’s a very nice person, and some say we match perfectly, I agree with that.

I met her last summer, when she moved here. She’s my neighbour. She’s sitting next to my right now, say Hello Karlien." "Hello." Karlien said.

"Okay, that was the first question, now the second,

We all know you lost your parent when you were only one year old, you must be missing them."

 

"I never knew them. That’s why I don’t miss them, I don’t know what to miss. You can’t miss something you can’t remember. I’ve got pictures of them, and I really wish I knew them. But there’s nothing to do about it, I’ll just have to live with it."

 

"Okay, let’s move on to the commercials now. We’ll be back, here at Wizard FM."

Another wizard, mumbled something to his wand, and there suddenly were commercials.

 

Today, Barry Paf, live from Hogwarts, interviewing Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and Sirius Black. - Win a rare gift, if you answer the question right, the questions wiil be asked later. - New! Nimbus 3001, only 104 galleons, 12 Sickles and 14 Knuts. - New at Zonkos, Hogsmeade, Canary Creams, 7 Sickles a piece, to surprise your guests.

 

After three minutes of commercials, the music went on. This time, it was on request from Parvati Patil. Graig David - Seven Days.

"Gadverdamme, I really HATE this music," Karlien said, "I hate all R&B." Karlien said.

"What the hell means ‘Gadverdamme’?" Ron said.

"It’s a Dutch word to express something you don’t like, like I don’t like R&B, or like I don’t like mushrooms." She said.

"Aha" Ron said.

"Let’s go get a drink," Karlien said, "I wonder if they sell Bacardi Breezer."

"They sell WHAT?" Harry said.

"I can see you never go out, Bacardi Breezer is a delicious, alcoholic drink, a muggle drink." She said.

"I went to Amsterdam with my friends a lot, to go to a movie, and after that, go into a pub."

"Sounds nice," Harry said, "I’ve always wanted to go to a movie with some friends."

 

Harry got called again, this time, Ron and Hermione accompanied him too, the four of them sat next to Barry Paf, and he talked again.

"Welcome back. For those who just tuned in, I’m sitting here in the Gryffindor common room, in Hogwarts. Harry Potter and his friends are sitting next to me.

Harry, you in school here, what’s you favourite subject?"

"Defence Against the Dark Arts." He said.

"Why?" Barry asked.

"Because of the teachers, Sirius Black and a friend of him."

Sirius and Remus were blushing.

"And what’s you least favourite subject?" He asked.

"Potions, also because of the teacher. I don’t really ‘like’ him, and he thinks the same about me. He hates me for two reasons,

A, I’m not in his house - Slytherin, and B, he hated my father, they were in the same year, when they were in Hogwarts. But I won’t tell more, because if he’s listening, I think he will kill me next potion lesson." Dumbledore laughed when Harry said this. All the Gryffindors in the common room yelled "We Hate Snape! We Hate Snape!".

Dumbledore told them off.

 

"Okay, next question, You were raised by your aunt and uncle, they were muggles. How was it there?"

"Terrible, they hate magic, so they hate me. They knew I was a wizard, but I didn’t. They tried to take my magic out of me, by punishing me for the most silly things. I lived in a cupboard under the stairs. I was not allowed to have friends, so my only friends were the spiders in the cupboard under the stairs.

On my 11^th birthday, I found out I was a wizard. I discovered my parents were murdered by Voldemort, instead of a car-accident, like my Aunt and Uncle used to say."

"W-w-why d-d-do y-y-you say his n-n-n-name?" Barry asked, shacking.

"Because I’ve never learned not to say it. I also never tried to learn it. Fear of someone’s name, only makes you fear that person even more. That’s something professor Dumbledore told me once."

 

"Okay, that was it for now, I’ll ask you more questions in an hour, go and dance if you want to. Do you have a request for a song?"

"Ehh… yes, I would like a love-song, for me and Karlien. I would like to dance with her. I want to ask her something."

"Going the romantic way?" Barry said, who didn’t realise that his wand was still recording. Another Wizard quickly played a love song, Laura Pausini - La Solitudine.

Harry asked Karlien to dance, Ron did the same with Hermione.

"What is it you wanted to ask me?" whispered Karlien, in Harry ear.

"Would you go to a movie with me once? It’s something I always heard kids in school talk about. I really want to go to a good movie.

I also wanted to go to Amstelveen with you, when you are going to Holland two weeks in the summer holiday. We could go to Amsterdam with all your friends, I’m sure they’ll like me."

"Fine by me, but how do you know I will go to Holland next year? Even I don’t know about that." She said.

"I heard your parents discuss it with your relatives, at the house-warming party." Harry said.

"If that’s true, I wouldn’t even go without you, I can’t imagine two weeks without you." She said, looking in Harry’s eyes from very clothes. He had his hands wrapped around her waist, she held her arms wrapped around his neck. They were really close now, their noses almost touched. It was one of those moment that they both felt intense love. It was the best feeling that existed.

"Thank you." Harry said.

"Thank you for what?" She asked.

"Thank you for not be able to miss me for two weeks." He said.

"Thank you for being so beautiful." He said.

"Thank you." She said

His lips touched hers, and they gently started to kissed.

It was the most romantic moment in Harry’s live, even more romantic than the time at the lake with the Weasleys. He was looking forward to Christmas, to ask her to marry him. He didn’t have a clue about how to ask it. But he was sure he would do it good. He was also curious to know if they really were ‘The One’ for each other. But he was almost sure they were, he couldn’t imagine more love than he and Karlien were having.

When the song was over, there was another love-song, Joshua Kadison - Jessie. Barry must have seen them, and he played another love-song to enable them to continue.

 

Two hours later, Harry, Karlien, Ron and Hermione left the castle to get some fresh air.

There were only a few people outside, Lavender and Rose were one of them. They walked towards them.

"Hello," Harry said, "Hot in there, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, we’re just getting some fresh air, but it’s hot here too. Come and sit with us." Rose said.

"So, do you enjoy the disco?" Rose said.

"Oh yeah, we really do." Harry said.

They talked about the muggle songs for a while, until some Ravenclaw girls walked towards them. Cho Chang was one of them.

"Hi Harry, long time no seen," She said, "Can we request some songs here?"

"Of course you can, do you have a disco too?" Harry said.

"Yeah, we’re listening the radio. How’s Barry Paf? I’m a fan of him, you know?"

"He’s a nice guy, he plays everything I want him to play." Harry said.

"Are you the girlfriend he was stalking about?" She said to Karlien.

"Yeah, I’m Karlien, and you are?"

"Cho Chang, Ravenclaw seeker. Pleased to meet you. I’ve got relatives in Holland too, in Den Haag. But I’ve never been there, well… I’ve been there as a baby, but I can’t remember it." She said, while she gave a list of songs, requested by the whole Ravenclaw house.

"Can you ask him to play this song first?" and she pointed a song, "It was Cedrig’s favourite."

"Yes, of course I will." Harry thought about the moment of Cedrig’s death. About his meeting his crying parents, it was all just terrible.

 

When the headed back up and entered the common room again, Harry forgot about it immediately, the music made him happy again.

He walked to Barry Paf, and gave him the list, and explained why Cedrig’s song had to be played first. He did.

I was a beautiful song, and Harry danced on it. Karlien looked happy to see him dancing, finally he danced without thinking about it, he was having the time of his life. Karlien accompanied him. There were a few more songs on which they could dance like that. But then there was R&B again, and they left the dance floor, to get a Butterbeer. The went to their dorm to drink it.

They sat on her bed, arms around each other, not saying anything, just drinking their butterbeers.

 

At six o’clock, Harry had to come again. This time, he had to ask a question for a quiz.

"What’s the name of my girlfriend, and where is she from?"

The price was a rare chocolate frog card from Harry Potter, signed by Harry Potter.

The girl who won it was soooo happy, it took 15 minutes before she could fastparchment back. Barry wanted to give away a ‘Meet and Greet’, but Dumbledore didn’t agree with that. He didn’t want Harry to leave Hogwarts, to meet a total stranger, not now, when Voldemort was back.

 

When it was 8.45, the music was turned off, and the normal lights were on again. The broadcast however went on.

"If you will please go prepare yourselves for dinner, please," Dumbledore said, "Harry, Karlien, Ron, Hermione you will go to your old dorms to eat."

 

Harry and Ron walked up the stairs, to their former dormitory.

"Harry, Ron!" Why don’t you sleep here anymore?" Neville yelled.

They explained about their own dorm, about how luxurious it was, about the very great bathroom.

Harry and Ron’s bed were removed, the other three boys had way more space now, they didn’t mind Harry and Ron being gone.

There was a table and five chairs in the middle of the room.

When they sat down, food appeared on their plates.

They were having Pancakes. It was delicious.

 

Harry and Ron went to their own dorm to fresh up, they brushed their teeth, Shaved them selves, they wanted to be smooth, because their girls liked that more. Harry put up some Eau de Cologne, and Ron used a spell, that made him smell, a way the one who smelled it liked the most, so he smelled perfect for everybody.

 

Just when they were ready, the girls came in, to do the same.

The only difference is that they didn’t have to shave.

When they all were ready, they went back to the common room. It was five minutes before the beginning of the real disco. Harry had spent hours on the dance floor today, but now it would be different, now it will be more real, he thought.

The music started, Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit.

It was a really good song, Karlien and Harry danced together with Ron and Hermione, after 15 songs, they went to have a break, they were exhausted, they just had to drink, Butterbeer wasn’t good enough, only water worked, so they drank the water taps empty. They were having a great time, and they were happy they didn’t have homework for tomorrow, and they had to start at eleven o’clock, that was not because of the disco, but because they always had free the first 2 hours.

 

When the disco was finally finished, at a quarter past one, they waited until every kid was gone, and helped Barry and his crew pack. Barry gave him a radio receiver and a fastparchmentquill, now they could listen radio whenever they wanted, and could use fastparchment whenever they had to.

 

They went to their dorms, ran into the bathroom, Harry created a privacy screen, and they took a long shower, once again, together.

When they were finished, Ron and Hermione weren’t. But they didn’t feel like waiting for them, so they went to bed.

 

"I had a great time, you too?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, it was even better then with my friends in Holland!" Karlien said.

They were lying in bed, arms under each others neck, looking to the roof. Harry performed a spell, and the roof became invisible. They lay there looking at the stars for almost half an hour. Ron and Hermione still weren’t back. They decided to keep the roof like this, they liked looking to the sky at night. It was so romantic.

They turned on their side, towards each other, gave a goodnight kiss, and fell asleep.

They didn’t notice Ron and Hermione come back at 2.30.