Harry Potter and the Rise of the Phoenix

Chapter Five ~ Back to Reality

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To what do I owe this gift my friend?
My life, my love, my soul?
I've been dancing with the devil way too long
And it's making me grow old

~Creed: Hide
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The heat seemed to fade away slowly, but Harry couldn't tell you how long it actually had been. Time did not matter in this place. Very little did matter here. Not much had been said since he had made his choice to go back. No words of wisdom, no words of encouragement, no words of peace. Silence was thick around them, and none of them wanted to disturb it.

Harry, though, was dreading his return to the real world. Would people understand? Would they forgive him? Harry hoped Ron, Hermione, and Ginny wouldn't turn their backs on him. He needed them, as much as the world needed him. What would happen if they left him? Life would suck; it wouldn't be worth fighting for. Suicide would be an option again.

Yet, hadn't he learnt that they wouldn't leave him? They had stuck through the worst of last year, even when that had cost them dearly. Harry was even surprised that they hadn't lost more; the monster had targeted those he viewed as Harry's followers. Even when they learnt of his fate, they had stuck beside him. Something told Harry that those three wouldn't desert him over this.

But, what of the others? Would the D.A. understand? Harry felt his stomach flip as he realized that the school would now have another reason to stare and talk about him. He hoped sincerely that this little "adventure" of his had been kept a secret. The D.A. could be told eventually, if he wanted to tell them, but the rest of the school shouldn't be told. It was none of their business!

"How's the heat?" Gryffindor finally asked.

"Gone," Harry said. "How long has it been?"

"I can't answer that," the old man replied, "but only because I don't know. Now, before you go, let me say, I do not want to see you again for many, many, many years, do you understand?" Harry nodded and his mum gave him a hug.

"We love you, son," James said, tears in his eyes. "Stay strong, lean on Ginny, don't pull away from your best friends, and trust your instincts, they won't lead you wrong."

"I love you," Lily murmured, her tears falling freely. "I love you with all my heart, with all my strength, and all my being. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't," Harry said through his own tears. Sirius just shook his head, words beyond him. "See you guys... someday, hopefully not soon." They nodded and Harry took a deep breath. Starting to run toward the cliff's edge, he hoped that he would make it to the water. He wanted to live now, and hitting the beach and rocks below was not how he wanted his life to end.

He took that gigantic leap and started to fall down fast. He was relieved when he realized he couldn't possibly miss the water. When he finally did hit, the water was a calming, cooling, refreshing lease on life.

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Harry regained consciousness soon after, though his eyes wouldn't open, something held them closed. He heard voices around him, talking happily. They didn't make sense but Harry knew them. There was a dull pain throughout his body and he felt extremely lethargic and exhausted. Harry was just glad he was here, that he had made it to the water. He lay there, just listening to the murmur surrounding him.

After some time, Harry wasn't sure how long, someone placed their hands on his mouth and started to open it. He opened it the rest of the way, causing the person to pull their hand back quickly. There was a loud and excited squeal next to him and the talk in general became louder. A nasty tasting potion was poured into his mouth and Harry swallowed, hoping that it was something for the pain. It wasn't, but it did slowly help give him some much needed strength.

He tried to move his arms and legs, but they were too heavy to lift. It seemed that his fingers and toes were all bandaged, though he did try to move them as well. A hand touched his and held it; somehow Harry knew that it was Ginny. He smiled and let his mind and body fall back to sleep.

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Ginny sat apart from everyone, listening to the conversation in a very detached way. Her eyes didn't leave Harry's unmoving body. He felt... closer somehow. Nettle and Thia were talking quietly off to the side, and Ginny knew the women were very hopeful about Harry's condition. Aberforth had brought a small book down from Dumbledore's office two days before. There hadn't been much information in it, but what little there was had been helpful.

The bleeding had slowed and scabs started to form over in most places. He was still bandaged completely, but soon he wouldn't need to be. They had been able to reduce his intake of the blood replenishing potion down to once an hour. The time had come for another dose of the foul stuff and Zane was reaching down to give it to him.

The man brought his hand quickly away as Harry's mouth opened of its own accord. Hermione let out a small squeal of excitement and Ron jumped up off the bed. Thia and Nettle looked over, Nettle giving Zane a questioning look.

"He opened his mouth," the younger healer explained, excited about the implications of that. "He opened it by himself."

"Well, give him the potion, Xavier," Nettle said patiently, yet thrilled. "He obviously wants it." Zane nodded and poured the potion into Harry's mouth. Ginny was at his side the second her shock wore off. She knew he was trying to move his arms and legs, but didn't have the strength to do so yet. She wrapped her slim fingers around his bandaged hand and carefully held it, trying not to disturb the healing skin. There was a small smile on his face and Ginny was sure he had fallen back to sleep, a natural sleep this time.

"This is good," Nettle said strongly. "He must have woken up. Callan, check the bandages around his face. If they aren't bleeding, remove the ones keeping the blood out of his eyes. The next time he wakes up, we'll see if he opens them."

Quirke moved forward and started to do as Nettle had instructed. Ginny watched her practiced hands swiftly remove the specified bandages and carefully check Harry's face. Ginny hated to look at his face; there was so much blood and the only bit of skin not bleeding was his lightning bolt scar.

"Do you think he's in pain?" Ginny asked the healer softly. Quirke thought about it for a moment and then looked up at Nettle.

"Should I give him a small dose of a pain killer?" she said in a soft voice. Nettle thought about it for a bit and then nodded. Quirke hurried over to the table with the potion stash on it and grabbed a small vile of pink liquid. As she walked back, she took out the stopper. Harry pulled a face when the liquid touched his tongue, but he didn't wake up.

"Why does he need that?" Thia asked. "He's sleeping just fine."

"The body heals better if it's not dealing with the pain as well as the injury," Nettle answered. "It wasn't safe to give him the potion when he was in the coma, the potion can actually kill in that instance. But now that he's awake, we can give it to him." Thia nodded and then started to move towards the door.

"I'm going to go tell Remus, Tonks, and Dumbledore, that Harry's out of the coma," she told them all. Ginny nodded; the old man was meeting with Remus and Tonks at the moment and she was very interested in the conversation. Remus hadn't wanted to leave, but somehow Thia and Tonks had convinced him to go.

A few moments passed, Ginny staying at Harry's bedside the whole time, keeping his hand in hers. She watched him move slightly in his sleep. His face looked peaceful, so he wasn't having nightmares. A gentle hand gripped her shoulder and Ginny turned to look into her mother's eyes. Ginny had been surprised when she had first realized that her mother was shorter than she was. It seemed that her mum had gotten smaller in the weeks following her dad's death.

"Have a seat, Ginny," she said softly. "Trust me, your feet will welcome the relief in a few hours." Ginny realized her mother had moved a chair so that she could sit.

"Thanks, Mum," Ginny whispered back. Ginny sat and started her vigil. Hopefully, Harry wouldn't keep her waiting.

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Harry was sure of two things when he woke next: Ginny was holding his hands and he was in pain. He waited to open his eyes, remembering that there had been bandages on them the last time. He gently tightened his grip on Ginny's fingers, letting her know that he was there. She squeezed back, telling him that she wasn't going anywhere. Someone slid his glasses onto his face, accidentally poking him in the eye.

"Can you open you're eyes?" Ginny asked.

"You--" His voice cracked from disuse. He cleared it and tried again. "You the one to poke me in the eye?"

"Sorry about that," she said with a smile. "It's hard when I've only got my right hand to do it with. My left hand is busy at the moment." Harry smiled, but sighed, not wanting to look around. He didn't want to face everyone in the room. And he knew the room was filled; he could feel the eyes staring at him.

"Mr. Potter, could you look at me?" a strange voice commanded him. Harry kept his eyes on Ginny; no one was going to tell him what to do anymore! Ginny's eyes softened in understanding and love.

"Look at her, Luv," she requested. "Her name's Callan and she's only here to help." Harry closed his eyes and turned his head slowly to look at the woman on the other side of him. Her gentle brown eyes held only concern for him, no pity, no condemnation. She cast a diagnostic spell and Harry waited for it to finish. When it was done, she held his gaze.

"Well, no lasting damage," she finally said, though he knew she was only speaking physically. "You'll probably end up with a few new scars from the bandage changes, but that should be kept to a minimum. What do you think, Nancy?" An old witch stepped next to Callan and nodded.

"A few, but not many," she said in a kind, but life-worn voice. "How do you feel? Any pain?"

"Scale of one to ten," Harry said in a dead pan tone, "I'd give it three. I've been in worse."

"What entails a three?" the old witch asked with a sad smile on her lips. Ginny squeezed his hand, reminding him that she was there.

"It hurts. I can't ignore it. It's everywhere. And... well, it hurts," Harry replied, looking away from the healer and up at the ceiling. He was in his customary hospital bed and the familiar spot was still there. He had spent many hours staring at that spot, in this same bed, in this same ward and now he was stuck here again. But, anything's better than the Dursleys', he thought to himself bitterly.

"Xavier, bring over a mild pain potion," she said with a frown. Harry could hear it in her voice, she wasn't happy about something. "Can I have you drink this?" Harry nodded and Ginny helped him sit up a bit. He closed his eyes as the pain shot through his body. His muscles weren't used to the movement. She put the edge of the goblet to his lips and he quickly swallowed it. There was relief almost instantly, but not much.

"I don't think that was strong enough," he said once he was lying down and staring at the spot again.

"What do you mean?" the healer (Nancy was it?) asked.

"Is it supposed to numb instantly?" he countered instead.

"Yes."

"It only numbed it a bit," Harry replied. The spot still looked like a flower to him. "I don't think it was strong enough."

"Oh," Nancy replied, a deep grief filling her voice. "How much did it help?"

"Why?" Harry asked guardedly.

"So that I can decide how much more to give you," she replied. Harry suddenly realized that he didn't want the pain to leave entirely. It proved to him that he was alive, that he could still feel.

"I can handle it," he replied evasively. "Don't bother."

"Harry," the other healer, Callan, said softly, "It will help your body if you don't have to deal with the pain. That way, all it has to worry about is the damage."

"I'm fine," he replied, trying to control his temper. Why couldn't they just leave him be? He looked at the two healers and they were surprised at the anger in his eyes. Nancy opened her mouth to reply, but a voice Harry didn't want to hear stopped her.

"Just let him be, Nan," Albus Dumbledore counseled her. Harry's eyes found his instantly and Harry was surprised by what he saw in them: fear, understanding, and loss. The emotions were quickly covered and Harry was sure he had just imagined them.

"What's the date?" Harry asked, ignoring the headmaster effectively by looking at Ginny.

"The nineteenth," she replied quietly. Harry laughed and laid his head back onto the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. Ah, the irony of fate always surprised him. Today was the day he had been scheduled to be taken from the Dursleys. He didn't see the worried looks that passed between just about everyone in the room, as his bitter laughter turned into a yawn.

"I'm going to go back to sleep," he told Ginny, not even looking at her; he was that tired. "You'll be here when I wake up?"

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised him. He smiled thankfully and closed his eyes. Someone removed his glassed and he fell back to sleep.

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When Harry woke up again he was aware of two things: Ginny wasn't holding his hand and the pain was gone. He opened his eyes and looked around at the dark, blurry room. He recognized Ginny's long red hair; she was leaning back in the chair next to his bed where she must have fallen asleep. There was a red head in the bed next to his and Harry guessed it was Ron. That meant that Hermione was around somewhere.

Would he be able to confide in them? He desperately wanted to talk with them about this, but every bit of his being fought against it. All of his childhood years had taught him to rely only on himself, not to confide in others. The kids at his Muggle school used everything they knew about him against him, teasing him. Though most of the other children only picked fun on him because of their fear of Dudley, some of them had enjoyed tormenting him. Now that he was at his most vulnerable would he be able to talk to them? Harry was afraid that the answer was still no.

Ginny stirred slightly, but didn't wake up. She must be uncomfortable, sleeping in that chair. How did he get so lucky? He didn't deserve a girl like her. He didn't deserve the friends he had. Harry wished he had his glasses on so that he could look at her better. He loved watching her sleep. She looked so innocent and peaceful while she slept. She was a beauty to behold. Harry was a very lucky guy to have her. Just coming back to watch her this one night would be worth all the pain in the world. Ginny was worth the world!

She stirred again, but this time she fell out of the chair. Harry sat up quickly, thinking that he'd be able to catch her. His back and shoulder, actually his whole body, groaned in protest. He let out a loud curse which woke up Ron who sat up quickly, his wand out. Ginny stood and rushed to Harry, looking him over. He was muttering obscenities under his breath, trying to overcome the pain.

"What's the matter?" Hermione asked from the same bed Ron had gotten out of.

"I woke up 'cause I fell out of my chair, and I think Harry sat up too fast or something," Ginny replied. "Just a minute, Luv," she whispered to him. She left his side and came back with what looked like a goblet. "Drink this."

"Are you sure you can give him that?" Ron asked, warily.

"Yeah, Nettle and I talked about it," Ginny said. "Help him sit up just a bit, not much." Ron helped Harry sit, causing more pain to shoot through his body. Ginny tipped the potion into his mouth and Harry drank it gratefully. The pain subsided quickly and he sank back into the softness of his bed. Hermione put his glasses on his face while Ginny went to replace the goblet. Harry watched her walk back, the almost full moon illuminating her. His angel, that's what she was. His salvation.

"You okay?" he asked her, worried about the bruise that was already developing on her face.

"I should be asking you that!" she said, pretending to be annoyed. Ron rolled his eyes and sat in her vacated chair. "But I am fine, nothing to worry about. What about you?"

"I'm alright," Harry answered. "That potion killed all the pain." He took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm glad to be back."

"We're glad you're back," Hermione told him, sitting on Ron's lap. Harry craned his neck so that he could look at them, which made Ginny frown. She gathered a few pillows with a wave of her wand and then looked at Ron meaningfully. Ron sighed and helped Harry sit up again, so that Ginny and Hermione could put pillows behind him. Harry felt stupid, but there was no way he had the strength to sit up on his own. He smiled his thanks to them as he sank back into the softness.

Ron sat back down on the chair with Hermione back on his lap, but Ginny stood next to him awkwardly. Harry twined his fingers in hers, and pulled her onto the bed. She sat on the edge, looking at him doubtfully. Then her face broke into a huge smile and she scooted close to him, snuggling into his side. Harry knew that had he not been fed a very strong pain potion less than five minutes ago, that touch would hurt, but for the time being, he was glad to have her next to him again. He wrapped both his arms around her and rested his head on hers, breathing in the smell of her hair.

They sat in silence, which was just fine with Harry. He knew they wanted to ask him questions, but he was definitely not ready to answer them. Not yet, maybe later, after he had time to think it through. It was too close to talk about, for now. He planted a soft kiss in Ginny's hair, glad they were with him tonight. It would have been a long night without them.

Harry looked around for his wand, finally realizing that it wasn't on his bedside table as it normally was. He glanced around, feeling very exposed and very vulnerable without it. Memories from Malfoy Manor surfaced, reminding him just how dangerous it was not having a wand.

"Guys, where's my wand?" he asked softly, trying not to let his fear come out in his voice. He wasn't so sure he had succeeded and Ginny must be able to hear his heartbeat quicken as the panic started to settle in. He hated not being armed.

Ginny traded a look with Ron and Hermione before pulling out of his embrace. She looked concerned and very apprehensive about what she was about to say. Harry sighed; he knew what the answer was. "They don't trust me with it, do they?" Ginny shook her head ever so slightly. "Yeah, I should have figured. Who has it?"

Ginny shifted uncomfortably. "I do," she replied. "Dumbledore wanted it, but I'd much rather be the one holding it." Harry nodded. "But I can't give it to you, Luv. I'm sorry." Harry lay there, stunned. But what had he really expected? Of course they were worried about him trying to kill himself again. But... take away his wand? He was defenseless without it! The greatest threat to the wizarding world was after him and they took away his wand!

"I need it," Harry finally said, softly, but determinedly.

"I can't," Ginny told him, a tear falling from her eye. It killed him seeing her like this, but it was killing him not having his wand as well. The memories of Malfoy Manor were amplified; he hadn't had his wand during his stay there and the Death Eaters had used that to their advantage. "I can't, Harry."

"Please, Gin," he replied, trying not to beg for it. Yet... he would if he had to. He didn't feel safe without it. Even the knowledge that he was in Hogwarts didn't help. Harry would never feel safe until He was gone, if even then. Ginny shook her head, the tears now flowing steadily down her cheek. She turned to look out a window across from them, effectively turning her back on him. He knew she wasn't deserting him, just trying to live with herself for keeping his wand.

Ron looked between his best mate and his sister and bit his lip thoughtfully. Hermione had a few tears on her cheek as well. Harry knew they were only doing what they thought best, but it wasn't helping. He heard a slight sob from Ginny and he quickly hated himself for doing that to her.

"Ginny, come here please," he asked, tugging gently on her hand. "Just sit here. Please." She finally relented and snuggled back against him. She fit so perfectly in the crook of his arm; it was as if they were made to go together. "I want you all to be sure of one thing. This is for you, Ron, and you too, Hermione." He caught and held each of their gazes and tightened his grip on Ginny's hand. "I can't promise that I won't try again." Ginny let out a soft sob. He hugged her tightly, placing soft kisses in her hair. "But I swear that I'm not using my wand next time. Magic never acts the way it should with me and I'm not taking the chance next time." Ginny's sobs increased and Ron was holding onto Hermione tightly. He knew he was botching this up.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he finally said. "Look, I've thought a lot about this since that night. I don't really want to die anymore. I'm glad I'm back. To be able to be with you guys, to hold you, Gin... It's a gift that I don't want to give up anytime soon." He ran his bandaged fingers through Ginny's hair, wishing silently for her tears to dry. "As long as you guys are around, I will never want to try again."

"Why do you want your wand so badly then?" Ron asked after several minutes of deep silence. Harry stared out the window, fighting the images in his mind.

"I... When... Do you..." Harry stopped and tried to figure out what he needed to say and what he wanted to say, both completely different things. He took a deep breath and then let it out. "I don't feel safe without it," he finally said. "I know the chances of Hogwarts being attacked and Death Eaters getting in here are slim, but..." He paused and his body started to shake as some of the harder memories started to go past his mind's eye. Ginny's arms tightened their grip around him, one of them curling up so that she could run her fingers through his hair. Harry took deep breaths, trying to get some control back. When he found Nott, the man would rue the day he messed with Harry Potter.

"Are you alright, mate?" Ron asked worried for his best friend. "What's the matter?" Harry remained silent, his eyes closed, and his mind pushing the memories out. The control that the Death Eaters still had over him made Harry hate them even more. But it also made him hate himself. He shouldn't be so weak, he needed to be stronger!

"I'm fine," he finally got out. He could feel Ginny's displeasure at this answer, but it was all he was able to give. It was actually semi-true. Compared to what he had been living through, he was fine. As far as what was normal and what was not... well, then he wasn't. "Alright, I'm better then I have been. I feel exposed without my wand, like I'm just asking for Nott or Bellatrix or some other Death Eater to come into the room. I don't want to go through that again. I will if I have to, but I don't want to." Ginny sighed and turned her face up to look at him.

"I can't, Harry," she told him. "I pro--"

"You promised Dumbledore," Harry interrupted her. "Give me one time that he really knew what was best for me... For me, not the wizarding world or for the war. For me, a living, breathing, feeling person."

Ginny looked away and out the window. She took one of her arms from around him and searched her pockets. Pulling out his wand she looked first at it and then at him, hesitating.

"Gin, I swear that I will never use my wand to kill myself again," Harry promised. "I swear." Ginny nodded and handed it to him. Harry rolled it between his fingers for a few moments and then looked at the bedside table. "Does anyone open the drawer in this table?" Ginny, Ron, and Hermione shook their heads no and Harry stashed it there. "Thank you." Ginny smiled up at him. Harry couldn't help himself; he closed the distance between them and kissed her. Ginny responded instantly and the kiss might have lasted forever if Ron hadn't been in the room.

"Oy, Potter!" he said, his voice slightly panicked. "Don't kiss her like that with me around! Bloody hell, stop!" Harry broke the kiss, smiling at the girl of his dreams. "Thank you," Ron said in relief. It was all Harry could do not to kiss Ginny again, both to annoy Ron and to just kiss her. Ginny smiled up at him, her smile brightening the room. Harry hugged her tight, trying to let her know just how important she was to him.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, speaking to all of them. "I shouldn't have tried to die."

"You don't need to apologize," Hermione said. "This is more our fault then yours."

"Thia told me that you asked about my moods a lot when she saw you," Ginny said softly. Harry nodded, remembering Ginny's giddiness. "I had convinced Dumbledore that we needed to visit you and we were coming that Friday. I wanted it to be a surprise, so I made everyone swear not to tell you. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," Harry said quickly. "I ruined your surprise, didn't I?" Of course Ginny wouldn't just desert him as he had thought. He should have known better!

"Of course not!" Ginny said, hugging him tightly. "You just gave us one instead. I'm glad you're back, Harry."

"I'm glad I'm back too," he repeated quietly. "How did the adults take it?"

"Meaning Dumbledore?" Ron asked wryly. Harry nodded; he knew Ron understood. "He locked himself in his office for the first week; he wouldn't even talk to the portraits. Then he came in here once, but I've only seen him twice other then that first time. He's been in his office otherwise."

"And Remus? Tonks? Thia? Your mum?" Harry asked, naming off the four most important adults in his life.

"Well, Remus and Tonks were still on their honeymoon the first morning and came back to the news," Hermione said uncomfortably. Harry hadn't thought of that, what a horrid thing to come back to! "They were, well, shocked, I guess, but they've hardly left your side. Tonks had to, because she's an Auror and she couldn't take the week off right after her honeymoon. It would cause questions, and we didn't want that."

"Does that mean...?" Harry asked, but wasn't able to finish.

"No one outside knows," Ginny finished. "Only members of the Order that I knew would understand know: Hagrid, McGonagall, Snape, my mum and brothers, Moody, Madam Pomfrey, and the Minister know, well, besides Remus, Tonks, Thia, the healers, and ourselves. We thought it'd be better that way."

"Thanks," Harry mumbled. That secrecy would be a blessing.

"Don't mention it," Ron said off-handedly. "Others wouldn't understand." Harry nodded, agreeing completely. The public had never understood him, why would it change for this?

"So, who are these healers?" Harry asked thinking about the three strangers.

"Nancy Nettle is one of the greatest healers of our times," Ginny answered. "She's got a great mind and sense of humor. I think she's old friends with Dumbledore. Then there's Callan Quirke, you'll like her. She's very down to earth and good at what she does. Then Xavier Zane, he's the youngest, but I guess he's some kind of protégé. Well, he's not that young, but compared to the other two he is."

"Why were you so angry with them?" Hermione asked him.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Harry replied. Hermione opened her mouth, but Harry continued, cutting her off. "Don't, Hermione. Let me sort myself out and then I'll come to you. I'm messed up and I just need some time to get straightened out, alright?" Harry waited for her consent, but she didn't give it. "Hermione, I'm serious, don't ask me about it. Not until I'm ready."

She finally nodded and Harry looked at Ron questionably. "I'll try not to," he answered the unasked question.

"Ginny?"

"As much as I don't think it's the right thing to do, I promise," she told him solemnly. "Just don't keep me waiting forever, Luv. Do you hear?"

Harry remained silent. "I can't promise that, Gin. I don't know how long it will take. It won't be forever... but it may be a long while." He knew she wasn't happy with that either, but it was all he could give her. "Where's all my stuff?"

"In our dorm," Ron answered, aware that Ginny wasn't happy with Harry. Harry just sighed; it seemed that Ron would always be big brother before best friend. But could he ask anything else from Ron? That was the one thing that he loved most about the Weasleys; they watched out for each others' backs. But, if Ron was going to play that game... then so would Harry.

"So what's with you two sleeping in the same bed?" he asked Ron and Hermione, who both blushed deeply. "I warned you, Weasley, that's my sis you're holding." Hermione chuckled, appreciating the protection, but Ron gulped.

"It wasn't anything," Ron answered slowly and carefully. "We were talking and waiting for you to wake up, and I guess we fell asleep."

"Do I believe that?" Harry asked, trying to keep a smile off his lips. He had Ron squirming.

"Oh, be quiet, Harry," Ginny chided him. "He's not complaining about me being in your bed, so don't complain about him."

"Yeah, but I don't have the energy to do anything," Harry replied, yawning. "He on the other hand..." Ginny kissed him, effectively silencing him. Harry kissed her back, forgetting that Ron and Hermione were in the room. He lost himself in the kiss; this was the woman he wanted to spend eternity with... He just hoped she knew it.

"You might not have the energy," Ginny said seductively into his ear, "but I do." Harry let out a nervous laugh and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"Okay," Ron said slowly. "That was the most disgusting thing I have ever had the misfortune of seeing."

"I thought it was romantic," Hermione said with a laugh as Ron pulled a face. "How 'bout you boys just give it a rest and let me and Ginny worry about ourselves?"

"That's the problem," Ron replied with a laugh. "She's the one I don't trust."

"Ronald Bilius Weasley!" Ginny yelled in a good impression of her mother. "You take that back right now!"

"Yeah, Ron, that's just... wrong," Hermione said, swatting his head.

"Aren't you going to say something to him, Harry?" Ginny asked, affronted by his silence.

"After what you just told me?" Harry asked laughing. "No way. I happen to agree!" Ginny glared at him for a second and then started to laugh, snuggling against him.

"That's true," she said happily. "You got lucky, Ronald. You won't be so lucky next time."

"Where is Madam Pomfrey?" Harry asked, extremely aware that the healer would have normally been at his side the second she heard a loud noise.

"Well, I guess you could say they all took the night off," Ron answered. "We were supposed to get one of them the second you woke up, but we, er, forgot to. Madame Pomfrey actually had to go to some workshop or something. She goes to it every year and she couldn't skip it without someone noticing. As for the other three, they're getting the first good night's sleep they've had for about ten days. Do we need to get one?"

"No, I'm just used to Madam Pomfrey hovering over me and keeping you all quiet," he replied honestly.

"They never kicked us out," Ginny told him. "We just stayed out of their way and they let us be here with you."

"We've barely left the ward," Hermione told him. "Except when they made us go outside to stretch our legs, otherwise we've done everything in here. Dobby even brought us meals, not that we ate much, mind you."

"And you were alright with Dobby doing extra work?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Well, it wasn't really extra work," Hermione replied. "He requested that all his chores be changed so that he could work in or near here. There isn't much he could do, so we asked for meals more then we wanted them."

"Oh," Harry replied softly. He had so many allies, from so many places. It always surprised Harry how loyal they were to him, and he doubted he'd ever get used to it.

"Anyway, Dobby has the right idea about things," Hermione started earnestly. "He is paid and wears decent clothing. He has days off and is free to..."

Ron put a finger on her lips. "'Mione, sweet, please don't." Hermione looked insulted for a few seconds, but then sighed. "Thank you. So on to more important things, you won't believe who's leading the Quidditch league!"

"The Holyhead Harpies?" Harry took a guess.

"Yes and no," Ron said excitedly. "The Chudley Cannons are tied for first place with the girls! Of course, the season has barely begun, but it's the best start they've had in 107 years! They've got this new seeker who's superb. He's been catching the snitch almost every game in the first ten minutes. He doesn't give the other teams a chance to score."

Ginny let out a snort of laughter. "The Harpies are playing them the end of the week, so we'll find out who's the best. A team isn't carried by one player!"

"Whatever, Ginny," Ron said, dismissing her in his excitement. "They might make it all the way this year!" Harry chuckled as Ginny glared at him. "They might!" he responded in his defense. Ginny kept on glaring at him and he shifted in his seat. Harry laughed harder, which only got Ron glaring at him.

"Gin," Harry whispered into her ear, knowing that he should speak on behalf of his best mate. "I know that the Harpies are going to crush them, but you've got to admit you're brother is nothing if not loyal." Ron summoned a pillow and then threw it at Harry.

"Hey!" he yelled playfully. "The Harpies are going down! And when did you start cheering for them! It's a betrayal of the deepest magnitude!"

"Hey," Harry said, tossing the pillow back. It wasn't a hard throw. He was too weak to have thrown it hard, but with Ginny curled up next to him as she was, it was even harder. "I never cheered for the Cannons! I remember yelling at you whenever you wrote 'Cannons' stuff in my books!"

Before Ron could open his mouth to retort, Hermione put her hand on his mouth. "That's enough boys, and you too, Ginny. If I can't talk about House Elves' rights then you can't argue about which Quidditch team is the best."

"Alright, Hermione," Harry said quickly. "We won't argue... but Ginny and I are right!"

"Harry Potter!" she said, throwing the pillow back at him, only she hit Ginny instead. "Oh, I'm sorry, Ginny."

"Don't be, I was about to say the same thing," Ginny said laughing.

"Well, I'm a bit peeved that you hit my girlfriend," Harry replied, with mock seriousness. "I can stand getting knocked around, but you lay one finger or throw one feather at her, and I get angry." This caused everyone to break down laughing. They sat like that enjoying each others' company. After awhile no one said anything, which was all right with Harry, except it made it hard not to fall asleep. Before Harry realized it, he was asleep, with Ginny in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ginevra Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley!" a voice yelled the next morning waking up all four teens. "Ginny, get out of Harry's bed right this instant! Hermione and Ron get out of that bed at once!" The three teens, that were able to, jumped up and stood awkwardly in front of an angry Mrs. Weasley, the three healers, a smiling Thia, a hardly-keeping-in-the-laughter Tonks, a stern looking Remus, and a tight-lipped Professor McGonagall. "What is the meaning of this?" Mrs. Weasley asked them angrily.

Ginny looked at the others and then just shrugged. "Well... Harry woke up last night and we, um, forgot to get Nancy or one of the others. We were talking and having fun when Harry fell asleep. I don't know, I guess Ron and Hermione fell back to sleep sometime soon after and I fell asleep a long while later."

"Molly," Nettle said, before the woman could continue. "It's quite alright that they forgot. In fact, I hadn't thought they would remember if there was nothing to worry about. I instructed Ginny on what she should do if he was in any pain and I left him in their very capable hands. As for falling asleep in each others arms... I have found it best if young love is allowed to flourish." Mrs. Weasley closed her mouth and remained silent, a tear coming to her eye. Harry had a feeling that she was thinking about her own, lost "young" love.

"Thanks," Harry said. "I enjoyed the company last night." Nettle nodded and then looked at Ginny questioningly. "She gave me the pain potion, if that's what you wanted to know."

"For what reason?" Nettle asked, turning back to Harry.

"I moved too much, too fast," Harry responded. "But until then, I was fine. There wasn't any pain."

"Miss Weasley," McGonagall said severely. "Why is your face bruised?" Ginny turned her face to look at Harry and he winced.

"I fell asleep in the chair to begin with," she explained. "I fell out of it, hitting my face, first on the arm and then on the ground. That's why Harry moved, actually. I think he wanted to catch me." She smiled over at him and he just shrugged. He couldn't help it if he wanted to keep her from harm!

Quirke walked over to Ginny and quickly healed the bruise. Ginny smiled thankfully and then sat back onto Harry's bed, entwining her fingers with his. Harry stared at their joined hands. There was something amazing about that. Quirke walked to the other side of the bed and cast several spells over Harry.

"Better," she said when they were finished. "I told you that you're body would do better without the pain." Harry grunted noncommittally. He knew it might be better for his body... But with the exception of the love he felt for Ginny, Harry was rather numb emotionally. He knew he should be worried about how those he loved would react to his suicide attempt, but he wasn't. He knew there would be some consequences, but he didn't care.

Harry looked over those surrounding him. Ron and Hermione sat on the bed they had fallen asleep on, small smiles on their lips. His waking up must have brought a lot of relief for everyone. Mrs. Weasley was looking at Harry and Ginny happily; Harry knew that the much older looking woman was happy that her only daughter had found someone to love and who loved her. Tonks and Thia were whispering conspiratorially, and Remus was staring at them dubiously. Harry caught the man's eye and they traded nervous looks. Professor McGonagall was talking with Zane and Nettle, and Quirke was walking toward them to join in.

Ginny watched him look around; he could feel her eyes on him. He turned and smiled at her. She smiled back. Harry was glad he had come back. Looking at that smile was truly amazing. Without even realizing what he was doing, Harry was thinking of a million things he needed to do to keep her safe. All sorts of plans filled his mind, but Harry discarded them one by one. None of them was worth their weight in dirt.

"What are you thinking about?" Ginny asked quietly.

"About how beautiful you are," Harry answered, a bit awe struck. This wonderful woman loved him. Harry would never be sure how that happened. She blushed softly at his compliment, and her smile grew.

"You're not half bad yourself," she replied, causing Harry to laugh.

"I'm covered in bandages," he told her, surprised.

"True, but underneath them there's a heart of gold," Ginny answered him with a laugh.

"How can you be so sure?" Harry mumbled out. "'Cause I'm not anymore, Gin."

Ginny threw her arms around his neck and held him tight. "I'm sure, because you're here. You didn't die, you came back. That's how I'm sure, Luv."

"Thanks," he whispered into her ear, hugging her back. It was because of this that Harry didn't see Dumbledore enter the ward.

"Good morning, everyone," he said cheerfully. "Particularly a good morning to you, Harry. I was wond--"

"NO!" Harry shouted, instantly angry. No, not angry, enraged. "No! I am not talking to you! God, damn you! You're as bad as Gryffindor! Just let me be!" Harry took a deep breath and huffed it out. The old man seemed hurt, but Harry really didn't care much. Dumbledore and Gryffindor had been screwing up his life from the start and Harry had had enough. "I don't want to talk to you! Why do you think that I'd be able to talk to you when I can't even talk to the three most important people in my life? There's a long list of people I'd rather talk to and you come long after any of them."

"I am sorry," Dumbledore finally said, a deep sadness in both his voice and in his eyes.

"Yeah, well sorry's don't heal the past," Harry told the man bitterly. "Just go away."