Harry Potter and the Loss of Innocence

Chapter Forty-Four: A Simple Avada Kedavra

so why do ya gotta stand there
looking like the answer now
it seems to me - you'd come around
I need you now.
do you think I can cope?
you figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless
bleeding and broken - though I've never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season
~Matchbox Twenty: Mad Season

"It can't be you," he repeated in disbelief.

"And why not, luv?" Ginny asked before launching herself at him. He groaned as she squeezed his recently broken bones. "I'm sorry," she said letting go.

"You're alive," Harry murmured. He tried to get his mind around the fact: Ginny was standing right before him, alive. It wasn't able to comprehend it.

"Yes, I am," Ginny told him, a tiny bit of worry slipping into her voice. "What's the matter?"

Harry sat up, wincing as his bones and muscles complained about the movement. He stared at her for a moment and then away, out the window. She couldn't be alive. She was dead. This was a trick. It had to be a sick, twisted joke from Him.

"You're not Ginny," he finally said, scrambling to his feet. Thankfully, only a few ribs were broken, though his muscles screamed in agony. "You're not Ginny." He turned from her before she could say anything, and limped painfully to the door. He glanced over his shoulder when he reached it, and saw that Ginny stood where she had been, stunned. Turning the door handle, Harry was surprised to find it unlocked.

Stumbling into the dark and dank corridor outside, Harry turned to hurry up the stairways. Up to the first landing he climbed. Ginny's voice reached him faintly. Speeding up, Harry ignored the hallway off the landing and climbed to the entrance hall. It was chaos. Death Eaters were attacking Order members with the Dark Arts, many using the Unforgivables.

The Order members seemed to be holding their own, though every few minutes another fell to the killing curse. Harry couldn't see a single Auror that wasn't an Order member. Had the ministry left him to rot in a cell? Or had there not been enough time to get them involved? Harry drew his wand and saw the familiar walk of the Death Eater he had nicknamed Limper approach Remus. Without thinking, Harry shot a stunner at Limper. The man flew about ten feet into the air and fell with a loud thud.

Remus turned and saw Harry slip from the top of the stairs and into the fray. Harry put as much distance as he could between him and Remus. He wanted to show the Death Eaters that he was a force to be reckoned with, but he knew Remus would force him to leave before that could happen. Harry saw Nose Picker and made his way to the man. With a quick spell, the man was blinded and then fell stunned by the Order member. Harry took one second to process Ron's face as the Order member, before he melted into the battle.

Harry scanned the battle, looking for any Death Eaters he recognized. He saw Healer moments before he fired the Avada Kedavra at Dedalus Diggle. Dedalus fell, dead and Harry felt his temper rise. He'd always had a soft spot for that man. Harry took one step into Healer's line of sight. Healer wasn't wearing his mask, so Harry could see the sneer and look of glee cross the ugly man's face.

"I've been waiting for my chance to hurt you, Potter," Healer told him. "I was getting sick of healing you every hour."

"I never asked you to heal me," Harry spat at him. "Quine Flechum!" Five arrows shot from Harry's wand and sped towards him. Healer had a split second so contort his face into surprise before they pinned him to the wall behind him, two of the arrows actually piercing his skin.

Turning from him, Harry came face to face with Scarface. Harry's lips curled into a feral smile. They started dueling, Harry trying his hardest not to let the fatigue that had been building up over-run his thought processes.

"Ingravesco!" Harry shouted at the Death Eater. They had been dueling for almost ten minutes and a crowd had slowly grown around them. The spell hit Scarface's wand arm and caused Scarface to think it weighed a ton.

Scarface's arm pulled him to the ground and Harry pointed his wand at the man. "What are you going to do to me, Potter?" Scarface asked, unperturbed by his predicament. "You gonna kill me?" Harry's wand came to rest between Scarface's eyes. Harry's eyes connected with Scarface's and the Death Eater gulped. "You are going to kill me, aren't you?" Harry's wand touched his forehead. "Just like you killed Lloyd?"

"Who?" Harry asked, not looking away from Scarface.

"Lloyd, the guy who always healed you," he motioned with his left hand at the limp figure of Healer.

"I didn't kill him," Harry murmured silently.

"He bled to death, you killed him."

"I did not," Harry said defensively.

"Did to, and now you're going to kill me," Scarface assured him.

Harry looked at the man on his knees in front of him. Scarface deserved to die. He had spent countless hours torturing him this past week.

Go ahead and do it. You know you want to. Think of the countless hours of agony he put you through. Hours upon hours. He's in front of you helpless. Just kill him. All you have to say is 'Avada Kedavra' and he'll be dead, unable to hurt anyone ever again.

'But I don't want to,' Harry replied to the voice in his head. 'I don't want to kill.'

But you already have. And you have caused the deaths of hundreds of others, including your own parents. Your Godfather. Your friends' families. Countless Muggles. Their blood is already on your hands.

'That wasn't my fault,' Harry defended himself. 'I didn't want any of them to die. It was all Him.'

It was all you. Kill him. He deserves it. None of those other people did. They were killed by men like him, if not by him as well. Kill him so that he never can kill again. So that he never has the chance to hurt someone else.

'But I couldn't,' Harry repeated lamely.

So that he won't kill. So that he will never be able to hurt you again. So that you won't have to worry about him hurting your precious Ginny.

'Ginny is dead,' Harry said, his voice dead. 'She can't be hurt.' The voice seemed to falter.

Then kill him for your Ginny. He might have been the one to have killed her.

'No,' Harry responded. 'It was either Bellatrix, Malfoy, or Wormtail.'

Kill him.

'Why?' Harry asked.

He placed you under the Cruciatus for hours. He twisted your back. Repetitively. He mocked you. He tortured you. He hurt you. He nearly killed you. He deserves to die and you deserve to kill him. It's your right.

'But?' Harry argued without conviction.

Just kill him.

'Alright,' Harry agreed. Harry started to pay attention to what was going on around him, and noticed that not much had changed. It almost seemed like no time had passed at all.

"I know you want revenge, Potter," Scarface finished his statement. Harry noticed Ron, Hermione, Remus, Tonks, and Thia in the surrounding crowd and watching him in horror. He was going to kill him. Scarface deserved it. He wanted to kill this Death Eater.

"Avada Ke--" Harry started but was interrupted.

"Harry, don't!"

Harry turned startled by the voice. There was the fake Ginny again. Raw pain shot across Harry's face. "Get away. She's dead. I'll kill you next if you aren't careful." The fake Ginny paled and backed away for a moment. "Pretending to be my Ginny," he mumbled. The fake heard him, and took a step forward.

"What do I have to do to prove that I'm the real Ginny?" she asked, sounding hurt.

"Nothing," Harry told her. "She's dead."

"I'm not, luv," she whispered to him.

"Don't call me that!" Harry screamed at her. "Only she was allowed to!"

"I am allowed to, luv, 'cause I'm the real Ginny," she told him. Harry raised his wand when she said luv. Ron took a step forward, but Hermione held him back. The fake raised her hands. "What would only the real Ginny know that can prove that I'm her?"

"Lots," Harry responded bitterly. "And if you were her, you'd know that. She was my lifeline, and now you're mocking her."

"Okay, let me rephrase that then," she said, taking a step closer. "What can I tell you in front of all of these people that you don't mind them knowing?" Only Ginny would think that he wouldn't want every little secret reveled. No, anyone that knew him only a tiny bit would know how shy he was.

"Surprise me," Harry said, turning his attention back to Scarface. "Ava--"

"The worst nightmare you've had this year was the Death Parade," the fake said.

"He knows about that," Harry told her, distractedly. "He probably knows more than Ginny did, seeing that he's been in and out of my head for weeks now."

"Okay, then it'll have to be creative," pseudo-Ginny murmured. "Just don't kill him yet."

"Be quick about it," Harry snapped at her.

"Some things easier to write," the fake told him confidently.

"He knows about that," Harry replied.

"What about our hide out?" she asked.

"Of course."

"You like it when I run my fingers through your hair."

"Any idiot could see that if they saw the two of us together, but He knows that for a fact as well," he finished tiredly, running his fingers through his hair.

"You asked me when you thought Ron would..."

"He's 'read' that letter."

"You gave me a stuffed animal that Hogsmeade trip, and I named him Prongs after your dad."

"He knows. I thought about how stupid I was leaving her alone, with only a stuffed animal to comfort her. I thought about that a lot," Harry said, trailing off, thinking about that once more.

The fake paused in thought. Harry was positive that she was a fake. She was picking all the easy secrets. Turning his attention from her, Harry faced Scarface once again. "I hate you."

"Well, obviously," Scarface retorted. "You are going to kill me."

"I gave you a snitch at the Hogsmeade trip," she started excitedly, "because you had told me you wanted one for Christmas. I thought Ron was getting you one, so I told you to wait. But he didn't, he didn't have enough gold, 'cause he spent too much on Hermione. I bought it with the extra gold my mum gave me for a chaser book that I've borrowed all year from Katie. You put it in your pocket before you "left" for the loo. Does he know all of that?"

Harry looked at her surprised. He took the snitch out, without realizing what he was doing. He knew little of that and He didn't know about the snitch. Harry was positive of that. Looking down at his clenched fist, Harry opened it to see the small ball fly into the air. It hovered for a few seconds, before Harry snatched it again. "But she was dead."

"I'm not, luv," she told him, in a voice so loving that it made Harry look up at her. No one could fake that look.

"Gin?" How could this be? He was told she was dead. Malfoy had said that. He had been in trouble. He lied. Malfoy lied to hurt me! "How could I believe that that idiot would tell the truth?" Harry nearly yelled at the room.

"I don't know," Scarface said. He quickly stood and hooked an arm around Harry's throat. "But you just wasted enough time for your ingenious spell to wear off. Now I think I'll kill you."

"Your master will kill you," Harry choked out.

"I can say it was an accident," Scarface replied, confidently, as the Order members stood around useless.

"He'll probe your mind," Harry told him evenly.

"Then I'll torture you in front of your friends," the Death Eater decided sadistically. "The Cruciatus might be in order." Harry laughed, and a hint of insanity filtered into it.

"He'd have your hide for that," Harry responded. "Remember, he wants to be the one to break my mind. If you use that, it'll crack, trust me."

Scarface swore. "Then I'll have to be content with this. Vapulus!" The man dropped Harry, who fell gracefully to the ground, forced into a coma by the Dark curse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snape walked the last mile to the Malfoy Manor with the Order members and Aurors following him. Soon they would have to stop as the Fidelius Charm hid the last few hundred feet from them. However, Snape could see the Manor and a sneer plastered his face. Lucius was an absolute fool!

Draco had been able to tell Severus where Potter was kept, because Lucius had let Severus into the secret. Lucius was his own home's secret keeper. The fool hadn't redone the charm after Severus had been revealed as the spy among the Death Eaters. He was too bloody arrogant!

The plan was simple: kill the secret keeper and the secret is no longer safe. However, it was much easier said then done. The chances of finding Lucius alone were slim. The chances of finding Lucius at all were slim. Allowing Lucius to escape Azkaban had been a long shot, but a risk that had to be taken, and it would be taken by him, Severus Snape, the Slytherin everyone loved to hate. He was expendable to them. He was a pawn in this game of chess. They weren't attached to him, so they didn't care if he risked his life for Potter.

Severus turned the front door handle, having left the others far behind. Opening it cautiously, Severus slid into the open entrance hall. A smile crossed his face. Lady Luck was with him tonight.

"What are you doing in my house, traitor?" Lucius asked, furious beyond all doubt.

"Visiting an old friend," Severus replied smoothly. Deciding to goad Lucius into doing something stupid, he continued, "I see that you are not as hospitable since your multiple escapes from Azkaban."

Severus cleared his face of the smile that was threatening to cover it. Lucius took the bait and started to shoot dark curses at his old friend. Ducking the purple Vapulus curse, Severus shot an agony hex at Lucius. Having maneuvered Lucius towards the door and away from Potter, Snape was able to hand him a Strengthening Potion. The boy hesitated at first, but did take it.

"There once was a time when you'd have rather killed the boy as look at him," Lucius shouted at him. "Now, Dumbledore has you protecting him."

"It could be worse," Snape answered with a shrug. He deflected the Cruciatus Curse that came his way with a simple mirror charm. The wayward spell hit the chandelier and crystal fell to the ground, cutting into their skin. Knowing what he needed to say to tip the scale, Severus prepared himself for what would happen soon. "I could, for example, be on my hands and knees kissing the robe of an un-human monster."

Lucius lost all rational thought and charged. He killed her! Snape thought preparing himself for the killing curse. "Avada Kedavra!" His once best friend fell to the floor dead. Severus spared him one look and only one look, before Death Eaters started to storm down the stairs. Seconds later, Order members flooded in through the front door. Severus joined the fray, hoping that Miss Weasley could carry out her part of this mission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ginny watched as Harry painfully sat up. He looked worse then she had expected. His eyes were bloodshot and watery. He had several new scars covering his face and arms. He seemed to be stiff, unable to move fluidly and she figured his ribs were broken from his reaction before.

"You're not Ginny," Harry said, panic filling his voice. Somehow, Harry managed to get to his feet and limped to the door. Ginny stood, stunned by what he had said, by what he was doing right now. He was walking away from her again!

She watched as he opened the amazingly unlocked door and walked out of the room. Away from her. He turned his back on her again! Five or so minutes passed and Ginny's brain finally started to work again.

"Harry Potter, get you sorry little arse back here this instant!" she called after him, storming up the stairs. A voice responded across the hall from Harry's cell, but it wasn't Harry's. In fact, it wasn't even male. "Sephra?" Ginny called through the door.

"Yeah," came her weak call.

"I'll get you out, just give me a moment," Ginny replied. She started to pick the lock to the door, amazed that these cells only had a simple Muggle lock on them. She had figured there would have been some spell on the doors in a pureblood fanatic's house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus had led the charge into Malfoy Manor, attacking the Death Eaters still on the stairs. He caught sight of Harry and was relieved to see that he was moving. Still alive then! Soon though Death Eaters swarmed past Harry and the boy was lost from sight. Remus hoped that the boy wouldn't be trampled.

Seeing Bellatrix Lestrange firing spells at Ron, Remus decided to pay the woman a call. This slime bag was the reason he, Moony, was the last Marauder left from the good old days. They traded spells in rapid fashion. Ron turned his attention to another Death Eater and let Remus handle the better dueler. Remus was glad; Molly would never forgive him if something happened to her kids, young and old alike.

"Ardent!" Tonks called, firing the spell at Bellatrix's back. The woman fell, trying to put out non-existent flames. Tonks cast an anti-apparation spell on her and took her wand. Remus smiled at her and turned to the nearest Death Eater.

The Death Eater moved with a distinct limp, yet his dueling capabilities were top notch. Remus let the man maneuver him so that Remus' back was now toward the exit to the dungeons. Though he wanted to be able to see if Harry and Ginny came out, never mind the fact they would be wearing the Invisibility Cloak, he wanted to put a wall at his back with this opponent.

Because of that, Remus didn't see the person who casted the stunner until it passed him. It caused the Death Eater to fly almost ten feet into the battle. Remus turned around, wondering who had cast such a powerful spell without saying anything.

Harry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Albus found himself letting go of a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. The Fidelius Charm fell away, leaving Malfoy Manor open to attack. Motioning to Remus, the man led the charge into the front door. He made a second motion to Shacklebolt, and the Aurors followed the old headmaster to the back entrance. If the house was visible, that meant that Severus was still alive. Albus had not wanted to send the man in alone, but there was no other way. Harry had to get out, and he had to get out now.

When Albus had been a young lad, the Malfoys had been a respectable family and good friends with the Dumbledores. But as his generation grew older, the family slipped into the Dark Arts. However, he had spent summers in this house, and knew several hidden entrances. Things always happen for a reason, the old man thought to himself, the irony not lost on him.

Weaving their way through the back gardens, Albus led them to a window lying near the ground. Opening it carefully, he slid into the kitchen. "Albus! My, you have grown!" a high squeaky voice greeted him.

"Hello, Dabby, it is good to see you again!" Dumbledore returned the greeting as the Aurors followed him in. "I've brought guests. You wouldn't mind fixing up some first aid, for I am afraid we will need it."

"Not at all, Professor," a second house elf replied. "But, I must ask, have you heard of my son, Dobby?"

"Yes," Albus answered as the last Auror entered. "But, alas, I do not have the time at the moment. Do not worry though, he is fine." The house elves thanked him, and he led the group out into a hallway. Checking the room that Dumbledore knew belonged to Sephra, he was saddened to find it truly empty. "This way," he mouthed to the others and led them towards the stairs. They met Ginny on her way up from the lower dungeons. "Is that Sephra, and where is Harry?" Dumbledore asked worried.

"Yes, and somewhere up there," Ginny said motioning with her head up the stairs and towards the fight. "Something's not right with him, sir," Ginny told him. "Harry was convinced that I was dead."

"Is that so?" Dumbledore said thoughtfully. Had Voldemort told Harry that lie when the attack on Nymphadora's house had been a failure? A way to destroy Harry's will even more? It was a possibility. Now, what should they do about Sephra? "Ginevra, take her to the kitchen. It's at the end of the hall and on your left. There are two house elves there. Leave her in their care. Then get up to the fight as soon as you can. Only you will be able to prove to Harry that you are not dead. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Ginny replied and then made her way past the Aurors.

"It is time we join the fight," Albus told the others. "May we meet at the end, safe and sound." They repeated the farewell, a millennium old farewell. It was the traditional farewell of Aurors.

Dumbledore took the stairs two at a time, knowing that Voldemort lay ahead. At the moment, only he was in any shape to take on the monster that had once been a boy by the name of Tom. It always hurt Albus, thinking back to that eleven year old boy. Such potential... wasted.

"Dumbledore," Voldemort hissed at him.

"Tom," Dumbledore greeted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione joined the crowd that had gathered around Harry and the Death Eater he was fighting with. All the other Death Eaters had either fled or were captured, unable to apparate away. There were also the dead Death Eaters, and Voldemort.

Hermione had seen Voldemort for the first time that night, and he terrified her. No wonder Harry had nightmares. The man was a nightmare. At the time, Dumbledore had been fighting with Voldemort, but they were nowhere to be found at the moment. So instead, everyone's attention was on Harry as he fought against the Death Eater.

"Ingravesco!" Harry shouted at the Death Eater. Hermione was amazed as the Death Eater's right side weighed the man down enough to stop the duel.

"What are you going to do to me, Potter?" the Death Eater taunted. "You gonna kill me?" Hermione gulped as Harry's wand came to rest between the man's eyes. Harry caught the man's sight, and he gulped as well. "You are going to kill me, aren't you?" No, Harry! Hermione shouted at her friend silently. Harry's wand touched his forehead. "Just like you killed Lloyd?"

"Who?" Harry asked. The Death Eater motioned with his weightless left hand. A Death Eater was pinned to the wall, two arrows piercing his skin. Yet, that's not what had killed the man.

"Lloyd, the guy who always healed you," the Death Eater informed the crowd and Harry.

"I didn't kill him," Harry murmured silently.

"He bled to death, you killed him," the man taunted. He did not, you dirty little liar! Hermione thought angrily. There isn't a puddle of blood!

"I did not," Harry said defensively.

"Did to, and now you're going to kill me," the Death Eater assured him.

Harry looked at the man on his knees in front of him. Hermione was sure that Harry was going to remove his wand from the Death Eaters forehead, but he didn't. His face took on a blank, almost crazy look that reminded Hermione a bit of Luna. Harry started to whisper to himself, not talking loud enough to be heard.

Oh no, Hermione thought to herself. His mind has slipped. He is a bit insane. She just didn't know how right she was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are you up to, Tom?" Albus asked Voldemort in the library. Voldemort had slipped into a trance and was concentrating on something. Dumbledore extended his Legilimency probe and found that Voldemort was propelling his thoughts to someone. Someone not in the room.

"Get out of his mind!" Albus threatened Voldemort in a cold even tone. Dumbledore tapped into the conversation, but found that he couldn't interfere with it.

'...worry about him hurting your precious Ginny.'

Ginny is dead. She can't be hurt, Harry told Voldemort. Dumbledore could tell that that comment took Voldemort by surprise. The monster floundered before using that conviction to his advantage.

'Then kill him for your Ginny. He might have been the one to have killed her.'

No. It was either Bellatrix, Malfoy, or Wormtail.

Dumbledore stopped listening and tried to break the connection. Harry's weak rebuttal brought him back to hear the last thing he had thought he'd ever hear from Harry.

'Just kill him.'

Alright.

"What did you just do?" Albus asked, furious. He was in a cold rage now. No one had the right to interfere with another living creature's thought process like that! No one!

"Just helped the boy along the way to greatness," Voldemort responded with an infuriating smile. "I must be going, it really is a shame that I cannot stay to see the show, but, duty calls." With that, Voldemort left by portkey.

"Coward," Dumbledore mumbled. He hurried out of the library, down the corridor, turned right, ran another corridor, hurried down the back set of stairs. Once on the ground floor, Dumbledore stopped to regain his composure. He needed to be in control of himself before he entered that entrance hall.

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Ron felt his jaw drop as Harry started the killing curse. "Avada Ke--"

"Harry, don't!" Ron turned to see Ginny rushing from the dungeon stairs. Looking back at his best mate, Ron was surprised to see the hate and pain cross Harry's face.

"Get away," Harry told her in a voice that reminded Ron of Dementors for some strange reason. "She's dead. I'll kill you next if you aren't careful." Ron watched as a hurt look crossed her face. What the bloody hell was the matter with Harry? "Pretending to be my Ginny," he mumbled.

Ginny heard and took a cautious step forward. "What do I have to do to prove that I'm the real Ginny?" she asked, sounding devastated by his lack of trust.

"Nothing," Harry told her. "She's dead." Harry thought she was dead?

"I'm not, luv," she whispered to him.

"Don't call me that!" Harry screamed at her. His rage was at a boiling point, and Ron knew that he was close to cracking. "Only she was allowed to!"

"I am allowed to, luv, 'cause I'm the real Ginny," she pushed a little too hard. On the word luv, Harry had raised his wand, and Ron saw the words for the killing curse form on his lips. Ron took a step forward, but Hermione held him back. He glared at her. Didn't she know how close to death Ginny was at the moment?

Ron turned his attention back from Hermione and to the fighting pair. Ginny was asking a question, "... in front of all of these people that you don't mind them knowing?" Nothing, Ron answered her. Everyone knows that.

"Surprise me," Harry said indifferently. He turned back to the Death Eater. "Ava--"

"The worst nightmare you've had this year was the Death Parade," Ginny interrupted her.

"He knows about that," Harry told her, distractedly. How? Did he tell him? "He probably knows more than Ginny did, seeing that he's been in and out of my head for weeks now." Oh, well, that makes sense, I guess. No wonder he's a bit off his rocker.

"Okay, then it'll have to be creative," Ginny murmured. "Just don't kill him yet."

Ron started to think of everything he knew. What would convince Harry that Ginny was the real Ginny, if Voldemort had been in and out of his mind for two and a half weeks? Nothing about anything public. Harry would keep all but the most important secrets to himself. All Ron could think of was the Prophecy, but there was no way Ginny could say something about that in a room filled with Death Eaters.

"You gave me a stuffed animal that Hogsmeade trip and I named him Prongs after your dad." So that's why that dirty stag is her favorite stuffed animal.

"He knows. I thought about how stupid I was leaving her alone, with only a stuffed animal to comfort her. I thought about that a lot." Ron couldn't help but pity Harry at the moment. How Harry had made it this long with all that guilt built up inside him, Ron had no idea. And that was on top of the torture and interrogations that he had to have had gone through.

Ginny paused trying to think of a good memory. Harry turned back to the Death Eater. "I hate you."

"Well, obviously," he retorted. "You are going to kill me."

"I gave you a snitch at the Hogsmeade trip," Ginny started excitedly, "because you had told me you wanted one for Christmas. I thought Ron was getting you one, so I told you to wait. But he didn't, he didn't have enough gold, 'cause he spent too much on Hermione. I bought it with the extra gold my mum gave me for a chaser book that I've borrowed all year from Katie. You put it in your pocket before you "left" for the loo. Does he know all of that?"

Harry looked at her, his surprise evident on his face. He took out a snitch from a pocket and released it. Watching it fly for a few short seconds, Harry caught it. "But she was dead."

"I'm not, luv," she told him, in a voice so loving that it made Harry look at her. Her face shined with love.

"Gin?" he asked cautiously and confused. Ron watched as Harry thought it through and then his face contorted into anger. "How could I believe that that idiot would tell the truth?" Harry yelled at the room.

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Thia stopped Remus from dashing to Harry's rescue. The Death Eater Nott was serious about killing Harry. They owed it to James and Lily to get him out of here, alive. But how were they going to do that?

"I can say it was an accident," Nott replied. Thia grimaced as his wand pulled away from Harry for the killing curse. She exchanged a look with her brother. They were going to fail.

"He'll probe your mind," Harry told him evenly, as if it made the most sense in the world. It probably was, knowing what Harry must have gone through since he was captured.

"Then I'll torture you in front of your friends," Nott decided, a sadistic smile spreading across his face. Just let go of him, Thia baited the man with her thoughts, and we'll see what his friends will do to you, you bastard! "The Cruciatus might be in order." Harry laughed, and Thia exchanged yet another look with Remus. Harry had lost his sanity. That could not be good.

"He'd have your hide for that," Harry responded. "Remember, he wants to be the one to break my mind. If you use that, it'll crack, trust me." Oh, Harry, what have they done to you? He spoke about his insanity as if it was normal, as if he had accepted it.

Nott swore. "Then I'll have to be content with this. Vapulus!"

Oh, shit! Thia screamed in her head. Harry's mind was not in any shape to deal with that curse. "You as good as killed him," Thia screamed at Nott. Seconds later, Nott left, apparating away. Thia ran to Harry, second only to Ginny.

"Is he alright?" Ginny asked Thia, hoping for the right answer. Thia didn't want to lie to the girl. Remus, Tonks, and she had promised each other that they would treat those four like adults.

"I have no idea," Thia answered her.

"Move away from Harry," Dumbledore commanded everyone, stepping into the room. Thia took several steps back, along with everyone else, everyone, but Ginny. "Althea?"

"Yes, sir?" she said, stepping forward.

"Stabilize him so that we can move him to St. Mungo's," Dumbledore instructed her. "Ginevra?"

"Yes, sir?" she got out between her tears. Thia's heart broke at that look. Ginny had just lost a father. It wasn't fair for her to lose the love of her life.

"I need you to go get the house elves," he instructed her gently. "Tell them that I would like to speak with them."

"Must I?" she begged. "I'd rather stay with..."

"I know you would," Dumbledore said, cutting her off. "But you know the house elves and where they are. Would you please get them?" Ginny nodded and Thia watched her take the flight of stairs to the dungeons.

"Is it safe to trust the house elves that belong to the Malfoys?" Remus asked the Headmaster.

"Yes, they're old friends of mine," Dumbledore replied, his face taking on a deep, reminiscent look. "With Lucius dead, they are master-less at the moment.

"Albus, he's as ready as he'll ever be," Althea called to him. "It would be best if medi-witches moved him."

"Let's move him outside," Albus instructed. "Thia, if you would get the medi-witches?"

"Yes, sir," Thia said with a respectful nod of her head. She started almost running out. Turning around, she took one last look at Harry. Oh, Lily, I fear that we have failed you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry found himself walking along a cliff, with an ocean at the bottom off to his right. Harry found the air refreshing and the smells invigorating, though he couldn't remember why they were so extraordinary. It wasn't as if he'd been inside for weeks on end. At least, he didn't think he had been, but he couldn't remember. He looked down at the water, as he walked, and appreciated the magnitude and beauty from the height.

Slowly though, he felt a sense of unease settle over him. Something wasn't right. He couldn't place it; the sun, the fresh air, the sounds, the wind, the animals... The animals, there were no animals. The only sound he heard was the faint sound of crashing waves hundreds of feet below. The grass was yellowed and the few trees were sickly and twisted.

This place was familiar, yet Harry couldn't place the location. He had never been anywhere like this before. Looking around, still walking, Harry tried to figure out why he remembered this place. Trying to think back into his past, Harry realized that he didn't know who he was, where he was from, how he got here, why he was here, or anything else from his life. His mind was a blank.

"What did you lose?" a voice said right next to his ear. Harry jumped, but kept moving forward. "Good, you remembered your lesson from last time."

"My last time, sir?" Harry asked the old man, who was now floating in front of him. "I don't remember a last time."

"Of course you don't," a voice Harry longed to hear told him. "Good to see you, kiddo."

"Sirius," Harry said under his breath. He knew the man's name was Sirius, but that was it. I must have liked the guy, Harry thought, because his heart was now filled with joy.

"That's right," Sirius nodded. "Can you remember Godric Gryffindor?" Sirius asked, pointing at the funny old man. The name seemed familiar.

"Gryffindor?" Harry said, tasting the name. "I'm a Gryffindor."

"You live in the Gryffindor common room," a female's voice corrected him.

Harry turned, and saw a very pretty woman walking next to a man, "You look just like me."

"That's because you're my son," the man answered, chuckling.

"Can you remember anything?" Godric asked, concerned. "Anything at all?"

Harry continued walking while he thought. His strange companions arranged themselves around him: Godric floating in front, Sirius to his left, and his parents to his right. "Who am I?" he asked them hoping for a clue.

"You still don't remember?" Sirius blurted out rudely. Lily reached past Harry and slugged Sirius' shoulder. "That hurt," he whined while rubbing the sore spot. Harry found himself smiling. That seemed so familiar, but why?

"That's because your best female friends are both strong willed," Lily told him, as if she had read his mind. Friends? "Ginny and Hermione; Hermione has been your best friend since your first year. Ginny, well, she's special."

"You're telling me," Harry mumbled, memories of Ginny filtering through his mind.

"You remember?" Sirius asked, this time as politely as he could. Sirius looked at Lily with trepidation, but all she did was roll her eyes at her husband's best friend.

"Just her and you guys," Harry answered. "Wait, aren't you all dead?" They nodded. "Does that mean that I'm... dead?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Not quite," James informed him. "Very close to it. Much closer than you should be at least."

"He has to remember before we tell him anything else," Godric told the younger three, in a voice so serious, it surprised Harry.

"Last time I just had to jump over the edge and I'd be back in life," Harry mused allowed. "See you around, hopefully not too soon."

"Wait, Harry," Godric said, as Harry started to angle away from the edge. "You have to remember before you can jump!"

"I'm jumping," Harry replied evenly. "Good bye." Harry took a running leap and started falling towards the ocean. He couldn't remember anything beyond the fact that Ginny was alive and he was once again in the hospital. He had to wake up to see her. He looked down at the water surface that was zooming at him. He had made it with room to spare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry opened his eyes, but shut them quickly. The light was too bright for them. He lay in an unfamiliar bed and he couldn't remember how he had gotten there. He tried to listen to the sounds around him. However, his mind couldn't sort them into words. Finally growing bored, Harry fell back asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time Harry opened his eyes, it was dark in his room. He couldn't see; someone had removed his glasses. Harry tried to call out, but his throat was too dry to allow it. Looking at the blurs that filled his vision, Harry couldn't pick out anything familiar. Where was he? How had he gotten where ever he was?

The last thing he could remember was watching Snape kill Lucius. A lot had happened after that, Harry was positive of that. What happened? He couldn't remember. Or maybe, his mind didn't want him to remember.

A hand came into focus and Harry flinched. It pulled back and then, slowly, it reached over to touch his forehead. It felt cool to the touch and Harry realized that he was extremely overheated. Harry heard a soft buzz and figured whoever it was had spoken.

The person put on his glasses and Harry looked at the Healer next to him. She was a young witch and was smiling down at him. She moved her lips and Harry heard that buzz again. She frowned and then wrote something down. Turning the pad so that he could read it, Harry read, 'You can't hear?'

Harry tried to move his hand to write a message back but she stopped him. 'Just shake your head yes or no.' Harry shook his head. Taking a clipboard from the end of his bed, she wrote something down. She put it back and took her pad and wrote, 'Well, Harry, you've been here about 6 days.' Harry nodded. 'You should sleep.' Harry nodded. 'Goodnight.' Harry nodded.

She reached over to remove his glasses. The world returned to its blurry condition, soundless, except for the distant hum. He watched one blob move away from his bed and out of the room. Harry found himself feeling trapped. Alone, with nothing to look at and nothing to hear.

Sleep would be better then this. So Harry closed his eyes and slept.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he woke up the next time, his friends were sitting in his room. Ginny gave him a quick smile after placing his glasses on. Harry returned it, though he couldn't hear what she said very clearly. It was as if she was speaking from far off. She frowned and then leant nearer to his ear.

"Welcome back, luv," she said into his ear. Harry smiled and tried to speak, but his throat was even drier then last time. Ginny saw this and handed him a glass of water. Harry smiled his appreciation and took a drink.

"Thanks," he told her. Ron moved in next to Ginny and shook Harry's hand. "What's up with my ears?"

"They're not sure," Ginny replied, bending close to his ear. "They're trying to fix it. How are you feeling?"

"Alright," Harry replied, honestly for once. Ginny and Hermione gave him a dirty look. Not feeling up to explaining himself, Harry just shrugged. He looked past his three friends at the room beyond.

It looked like the room the twins had been in back during spring break. In the far corner, cauldrons rested unused. Chairs lined the wall near the door. There was only one bed in the room and one window. Remus, Tonks, and Thia sat in the chairs, talking quietly amongst themselves. Mrs. Weasley was standing near the window, looking old and depressed. Bill stood on the other side of the window, whispering to her. The twins were hanging out near the cauldrons, eyeing them conspiratorially.

"What are you up to?" Harry asked them, bringing the attention of the room to them.

"Nothing," George answered. "We were just talking."

"Oh," Harry remarked, feeling a bit let down. He had been sure that they were up to something. His face fell into a frown, and the room's occupants were surprised by the unguarded emotion on his face.

"Harry," Thia called to him. "When Professor Dumbledore comes, we need to talk about the past few weeks." Harry nodded, but he felt the bottom of his stomach fall out. I don't wanna! he cried out in his mind. Thia was taken aback by the look of hopelessness on Harry's face. "Harry," Thia said once more, getting his attention back, "how are your Occlumency shields?"

"The last I checked," Harry said sarcastically, "they were non-existent. But you never know. The last time I really checked was when?" Harry stopped and pretended to think about it. "Two weeks ago, so don't quote me on that."

"We'll need to rebuild them," Thia informed him.

"No need to," Harry replied. "He knows my mind better then me."

"How do you mean?" Dumbledore asked, stepping into the room.

"He's been in and out of my mind for weeks," Harry said, as if that was the most common thing in the world. "Nothing was safe in there."

"Nothing?" Dumbledore asked intrigued. "What of the Prophecy?"

"I can't remember that, so he couldn't find it," Harry said, getting bored by the subject. His matter-of-fact manner was unnerving his friends. It was so un-Harryish.

"Would you care to explain?" Dumbledore asked him, hoping to learn as much about Harry's stay before he clammed up.

"A few days after he took me, I realized that I couldn't protect my mind," Harry explained. "So I forgot it. Erased from my mind, you could say."

"Can you remember it now?" Dumbledore inquired.

"No," Harry said simply.

"Nothing?"

"Only that it was important not to let Him learn about it," Harry replied. "Anything else?"

"Is there anyway you can tell me what happened?" Dumbledore asked delicately. Harry thought for a moment and then shook his head. "How did he break into your mind in the first place?"

"Between weakening my body and the wards everyday, I can't believe it took as long as it did," Harry mumbled in a quiet monotone. Thia exchanged a dark look with Remus, but Harry ignored them. "I think he said it was a Thursday... The first Thursday I was there. It wasn't a good week after that. What with the nightmares and visions. I hated those. Voldemort found the Death Parade so amusing. Said I should be a dark wizard. I had the right imagination. I hated that. I hated all of them." Harry was muttering to himself and the others exchanged looks. They were sure he didn't know he was still talking out loud.

"Luv," Ginny said interrupting him, "what are you talking about?"

"I'm not saying anything, Gin," Harry said, a blank and confused expression on his face.

"Oh," she said softly.

"Did he not know that you had forgotten the Prophecy?" Dumbledore asked after an awkward pause.

"No, not for a week," Harry said. "Look, I don't really feel like talking about that, so can we just let it rest? Or do you feel the need to keep digging up painful little nuggets that twist and cut at me?" Dumbledore's face fell and he frowned. Harry could tell that his words had cut deep and he was glad someone else was hurting.

"No, we don't need to talk about it," Dumbledore replied, the hurt evident in his voice. "Though, eventually we will." Harry nodded, though he'd do everything in his power not to talk about it.

Dumbledore left the room, looking old in Harry's eyes. What right did Dumbledore have to look old? Did he just spend three weeks in Malfoy Manor as a guest? No!

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked cautiously. Harry looked at her, and she flinched; his eyes were windows into a tormented soul.

"I'm fine," he replied exasperated.

"No you're not, luv," Ginny told him sternly, but softly. "You are not. You thought I was dead, threatened to kill me, almost killed Nott, and then spent about a week unconscious. Do not tell me that you are alright."

Harry's mind couldn't work past the facts that he had threatened Ginny and almost killed Nott. He had almost killed someone? What had happened after Snape killed Lucius? He couldn't remember.

"I almost killed someone?" Harry asked, barely above a whisper. Ginny looked at him, worry etched into every feature of her face. She nodded. "I threatened to kill you?" She nodded again. Harry swallowed. "Why can't I remember?" he shouted. "I can't remember that! Yet I can remember everything else and that's just as bad! Why can't my bloody mind work right?"

"Harry, calm down!" Remus said, rushing to Harry's side. "Just take a deep breath, and we'll walk through the day you were rescued if you want." Harry started to calm his mind, remembering the exercises Thia had taught him at the start of the school year. "Better?"

"Yeah," Harry said, not certain if he was. "What happened after Snape killed Lucius?"

"You were taken to your cell," Ginny said, noticing the shiver that shook Harry at the mention of his cell. "You were frozen, so I thawed you out. You saw me, told me I was dead, and then ran from the cell. It had been left unlocked. I called after, but you didn't come back. Then I rescued Sephra and helped the house elves heal her."

"I saw you coming out of the stairwell," Remus continued. "You had stunned the Death Eater I was fighting with. The stunner sent him across the room."

"Limper," Harry commented quietly to himself.

Ron ignored the comment and continued from where Remus had left off. Obviously they had talked this through. "Then you blinded and stunned the Death Eater I was fighting."

"Nose Picker," Harry mumbled, remembering the hours that man had spent torturing him. Nose Picker's torture sessions were second only to Bellatrix's in the hurt factor.

"What's that, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked, the first thing she had said all evening.

"I didn't know names, so I gave them all nicknames," Harry answered, remembering moments when he was writhing on the ground in agony while Nose Picker calmly picked his nose. "It just was easier, I could prepare. A bit, at least. Not much that I could do."

"Next, you faced a Death Eater by the name of Lloyd," Thia continued. "You pinned him to the wall with five arrows."

"Healer," Harry muttered. "And then Scarface." Harry paused as memories flooded his mind. "I killed Healer! I killed him! I didn't mean to. I just wanted him not to hurt anyone else. Not kill anyone else," he finished, his voice barely above a whisper.

Harry broke down, silently sobbing. He hadn't wanted to kill Healer. He didn't even want to hurt the man. He had just wanted Healer out of the way so that he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else. Harry hadn't wanted him dead. Sure, the man was a Death Eater, but he was still a man. He had killed him.

"He didn't die from loss of blood," Hermione cut in after a few seconds. "He died from the killing curse."

"I killed him," Harry echoed himself.

"You didn't kill him," Hermione scolded him.

"I killed a man," Harry muttered in disbelief.

"You didn't," Hermione nearly yelled. Ginny laid a comforting hand on Hermione's arm and shook her head. Ginny reached out with her other hand and tried to stroke Harry's hair. He flinched from her touch and looked at her panicked. Memories swam before him: being blinded by magic and getting hit by the unseen objects thrown at him.

"What's the matter?" Ginny asked concerned.

"Nothing," Harry said, breathlessly. "You just startled me."

"Harry, who told you I was dead?" Ginny asked him.

"Malfoy," Harry responded.

"Who told you that you killed Lloyd?" Ginny inquired.

"Scarface," Harry answered.

"What do Malfoy and Scarface have in common?"

"They're Death Eaters," Harry answered.

"Now who do you believe?" Ginny asked. "Us?" she said pointing to everyone in the room. "Or him?"

"You guys," Harry answered. "But then..." Could Mr. Weasley be alive? Voldemort had told Harry that Mr. Weasley was dead. Did he dare believe the lying scum bag?

"Yes?" Tonks asked, encouraging him to speak.

"Where's Mr. Weasley?" Harry asked. "He told me that Mr. Weasley was dead. But I bet that was a lie, to hurt me." Harry looked at the others hopefully. I guess not, he thought as he watched the others' reactions. Every Weasley looked at the ground, Mrs. Weasley holding back tears. The others had cleared their faces leaving them blank. "I guess He was telling the truth then."

Mrs. Weasley fled the room, Bill and the twins following. Harry looked at his three friends, and the guilt was plain on his face. Tonks, Remus, and Thia left after the others, leaving the four teens alone.

"I botched that up," Harry said angrily to them. He shouldn't have opened his mouth.

"Just kinda," Ron said with a faint smile.

"What's the date?" Harry asked. "Not the day though."

"It's the twenty-fourth," Ginny answered.

"The wedding is in four days," Harry replied, a faint smile on his face.

"Well, we've postponed it," Hermione told him delicately. "We wanted you there, so we had to make sure you'd be awake. It's the 3^rd of July now."

"But," Harry started, but Ginny cut him off.

"No 'buts' about it. Remus wants you to be the best man, so you need to be there," she told him sternly.

"He knows about this?" Harry asked.

"No," Ron assured him. "I asked, in a circumventing way. Asked who was best man at your dad's wedding and then at Thia and Sirius' wedding. Then I asked who he would have picked back then and who he'd pick now. Both answers were Potters."

"Oh," Harry said, stifling a yawn.

"We'll be going, luv," she told him gently. "I'll see you soon." Harry nodded, and they left him to rest.