The Joke of the Year

They got into the kitchen and they both asked Dobby for some wonderful food and drinks. They decided to go outside to eat, and then they would mail their letter.

Pansy, Goyle, and Crabbe walked away.

Pansy: (menacingly) Smart one, genius. Why'd you have to go say something like that?"

Goyle: Uh...sorry, but how would he have gotten the password to the Slytherin Common Room?

Crabbe: Well, I, uh... maybe I gave them the password by accident, Pansy. I thought they were some Slytherins.

Pansy: WHAT???? Crabbe, I didn't think anyone was that stupid.

Crabbe: Sorry, Pansy.

Pansy: Oooh...Just wait.... I have them now!! (evil cackle)

Fred and George made it up to the Owlery in just a few minutes, since they were so knowledgeable of the school's secret passages. The two picked out an owl that they thought would be suitable for the journey and tied the letter to its leg.

Fred: How long do you thing this'll take to get to Bill?

George: Oh, I dunno....he's at home now so not to long hopefully.

George carried the owl over to the window and watched it soar into the dark sky. Unfortunately, they did not hear the footsteps coming up the Owlery stairs. The door burst open and in strode Filch, Mrs. Norris on his heels.

Filch: Now, what are we doing out of bed? It's past curfew, you know.

Fred and George exchanged a look. Fred could see that a plan was beginning to form in his twin's mind.

George: (pulling a small package wrapped in paper out of his robes) Mr. Filch, here you go.

Filch: What...what is this, some sort of joke??

Fred: (catching on) No, no! Of course not! It's a gift from us. We thought you deserved it, for being such a great caretaker and all.

Filch: (looks suspiciously at the two) What is it?

George: Well, you'll have to open it to find out won't you?

Filch took the package, still sending Fred and George suspicious looks. He opened it, looked inside, and made a sound that sounded a lot like a dying hippogriff.

Filch: Is...is...is this for me?

George: (nods) Yep.

Much to Fred and George's surprise, tears welled up in Filch's eyes.

Filch: (now sobbing) Oh, this is sooo nice....(sob) No one had ever given me a present! It's the best ever.

The now howling Filch launched himself upon the two and began sobbing onto their shoulders. Fred sent George a questioning look, but George sent him a look that said "Later." Fred pried Filch off them and smiled.

Fred: There, there. It's all right. This means we can go, right?

Filch: Of course...(sob)

George: Well, ta-ta!

Filch waved and said, still crying: Thank you!

Once they had gotten a safe distance from the Owlery, Fred and George broke out into laughter.

Fred: What on earth did you give him?

George: (wiping tears of mirth from his eyes) It was just a simple slab of Honeyduke's chocolate. I didn't expect it to work!

Fred: Well, it looked like it brought out the soft side in old Mr. Filch!