The Joke of the Year

Fred and George decided that maybe they shouldn't be talking to Lee because he didn't know how to handle these kinds of situations the 'Fred and George' way. They went to the library. They were quietly whispering when Ron, Harry, and Hermione walked in.

Ron: Hey guys, what's up?

Fred: Nothing that concerns you.

Harry: That was great news about Malfoy this morning.

Hermione: Harry! That's not a good thing to say! (in a quiet voice) but it was some excellent charm work...

George: Bugger off, you three.

Ron: You're not...blackmailing someone again, are you?

Fred: If we were, do you think we'd tell you?

Ron, Harry, and Hermione went to the back shelves of the library, looking at some books. Fred and George continued their hushed conversation.

Fred: What should we do?

George: Maybe we should tell someone....

Fred: I'm all for that idea... but who?

George: Someone we can trust.... We need someone who will laugh at the joke, but will give us the right advice about what to do.

Fred: Are you thinking the same person I'm thinking?

George: I think so, dear brother, I think so.

Fred and George decided they should tell their older brother Bill. They knew he would think it was hilarious, but would know what to do in this kind of situation. Fred gathered some parchment and a quill and met George in the dorm.

George: You have all the stuff?

Fred: Yeah...quill, ink, got it.

George: Good. Now we just don't want anyone to bother us. (casts a locking charm on the door)

Fred: Okay, now...for the letter.

George: How should we start it?

Fred: Dear Bill,

George: Thanks Fred, that's a lot of help.

Together they wrote the letter. It took them a total of two hours, and when they finished, they felt rather hungry.

Fred: I'm going to go get something to eat.

George: (stretches and yawns) Think I'll come too. You mind?

Fred: 'Course not. Let's go.

Fred and George cleared up the table they were working at and started towards the door.

Fred: Hang on, let's take the letter to the Owlery on the way back.

George sprinted back to the table, picked up the letter, and rushed out of the door with Fred close behind.

Unfortunately they met Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson right outside the portrait to the kitchen.

Fred: Hello Slytherins, what are we doing out so late at night?

Pansy: We were about to ask you the same question. Something happened to Draco. Do you know anything about it?

Fred thought wildly, They're on to us! He sent George a fleeting look, but continued.

Fred: Why on earth would you think that? We were asleep in our dorms weren't we George?

George: (nods) Yeah!

Pansy: Oh, I think you know very well you were up and also running around the school trying to hurt my poor Draco!

George put on a very convincing hurt look.

George: Pansy! How could you ever assume that? We would never want to hurt anyone!

Crabbe and Goyle flexed their muscles threateningly. Fred and George were hardly afraid of them, but they were starting to worry that they might attract attention.

Fred: Well, it was nice and all, this little get together, but we were actually on our way to do something and not just stand around all night. G'night.

Crabbe and Goyle stepped in front of the twins as Pansy began to laugh loudly.

Pansy: Weasley, why do you think we would even bother talking to you about this if we didn't have proof?

George: P-proof?

Pansy: Yep.

Pansy pulled a corked bottled out of her robes. She waved it around under the dim candlelight; it contained several scarlet hairs. She let out a raucous laugh.

Pansy: So, what are you going to do now?

George and Fred exchanged a panicked look before Fred spoke up.

Fred: Several people in this school have red hair.

Pansy: Oh. Unfortunately, I'm not the dumb blonde you perceive me to be. I performed a charm to find the owner, and, haha, it's yours.

Fred: We may have lent the materials, but we didn't go into the Slytherin Dungeons, we don't know the password.

Goyle: Yeah, Pansy, what're we going to do about that?

Pansy hadn't thought of this. She finally decided just to leave it for the time being. She sent the twins an evil glare and walked away down the dimly lit corridor. Crabbe and Goyle took this as a signal to leave also.

Fred sighed and as soon as Pansy was out of earshot said: Phew...that was so bloody close.

George: (wiping his forehead with his hand) I'll say.

Fred: Well let's go get our food, shall we?