Harry Potter and the Headmaster's Pensieve

Chapter 6 - The Lessons

Severus sat in the darkest corner of the Bloody Blade, a dingy pub nestled deep within Knockturn Alley. He was finishing off his third firewhisky, but had instructed the barmaid (if she was indeed female - it was hard to tell underneath the rags and filth) to just bring a full bottle. He had looked everywhere, but there had been no sign of Potter. His informants in Hogsmeade hadn't seen the boy, and he wasn't anywhere on Diagon Alley. There was a chance that he was still at the Burrow, but he had seen the entire brood of Weasleys and the know-it-all Granger traipsing around Diagon Alley, and Potter wasn't with them. Surely he wouldn't have revealed his plan to them, and he would have wanted to appear as if everything was normal. No, he wasn't at the Burrow.

Snape swallowed half a glass of the strong alcohol in one long swig, grimacing as he felt his insides burn. The whiskey wasn't nearly as smooth as his typical brandy, but it washed away the pain much quicker than his occasional drink in the solace of his abandoned office. Dumbledore had told him that the boy was going to be easy to find, all he had to do was think about what an emotional, impulsive boy (true, Dumbledore had said 'exemplary Gryffindor,' but Severus had caught his meaning) would most want. Snape had looked in places that he knew the boy would know, places where he would feel safe and secure, but had had no luck. There was a possibility that he was at Grimmauld Place, but Severus doubted it. The place held too many bad memories, too much pain for the boy to go there.

The barmaid (yes, he could see her face now, and it was too soft to be male) brought over a grimy bottle, and Severus poured himself another glass greedily. If he couldn't find the boy, everything he had done this summer would be wasted. The careful planning with Narcissa, the strict training with Draco - all of it was for naught. He had to find Potter. It had been one of Dumbledore's last requests that he ensure the boy learned Occlumency at all costs, and Snape felt personally responsible that he had not learned it when Dumbldore had requested that he learn initially. He disliked the boy, but knew that his Occlumency skills were necessary in the coming war.

"Oi, Severus. Wouldn't expect to see a fine upstanding man like yourself in a place like this," a squat wizard said with a wheezy laugh. Severus glared at the intruder, but his expression was lost in the poor lighting of the room. His new companion sat across from him and took a swig of firewhiskey directly from the bottle.

"Afternoon, Amycus. Please, help yourself," Severus said coldly, not moving. His companion let out another wheezy laugh.

"So what've you been doing, Snape? Had a bit o' excitement earlier in the summer, then haven't heard a peep outta you since. Been busy?" the man said conversationally.

"I have been occupied with certain tasks that should not concern you," Snape said snipply, folding his arms across his chest.

"No doubt you've been on our lord's good list since the events earlier this year, which is why we haven't seen you on any of the raids, then?" Amycus said, leaning in and lowering his voice to a wheezy whisper.

"You will hold your tongue about our lord when you are in public! There are spies from the Ministry and the Order everywhere, and you wouldn't want to be captured like dear Alecto, would you?" Severus said coldly, his voice dangerously soft. Amycus let out another irritating laugh.

"My sister will be released. Right now I hear she's claiming she was under the Imperius curse when she hexed those muggles shopping for their little mudblood in Diagon Alley. Malfoy's personal lawyer is helping her, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's back in action any day now. True, what she did was a bit dangerous, and no doubt our Lord will punish her, but I'm sure the punishment won't be severe. You know how our Lord does love our little trysts, even though he disapproves of the negative attention it draws," Amycus said jovially, causing Severus to flinch with every word. He narrowed his eyes at his companion once again.

"It's curious that you seem to know so much about our lord, when he hides so much of himself from his followers," Severus replied, moving the bottle of firewhiskey out of Amycus' reach. The death eater shrugged nonchalantly.

"Heard anything about baby Potter recently? There's talk that he's disappeared; hidden away where he thinks he'll be safe. Went crying home to mommy and daddy...well, he would have, if he'd had a mommy and daddy. Wonder where he is...of course, our Lord will find him. He can't hide from the amazing powers of our lord." Amycus stood, swiping the bottle from Severus' now limp hand and taking a healthy swig. He dropped it back to the table and slapped Severus roughly on the back.

"See you around, ol' boy. Don't go getting into trouble now."

Severus said nothing. His mind was still wrapping around what the dim-witted death eater had said - home to mommy and daddy. Of course...it was so obvious, now. Voldemort would want nothing to do with the tiny Welsh village, but Potter wouldn't have thought of that. All he would have thought was that he wanted to see where his family was buried. It would have been comforting and far away from anyone that could hinder his progress. Yes, it was the perfect place for Potter to hide out.

Severus had his reservations about going to Godric's Hollow. The town was small, and it wouldn't be easy to remain hidden. He couldn't allow Potter to spot him; knowing how emotional the boy could be he could expect that Potter would want to avenge Dumbledore's death. The boy couldn't know the truth, not with his mind so open and vulnerable to the Dark Lord. Severus had only been to the town once before, that fateful night when he had traveled there to see for himself that Voldemort, Lily and James were truly gone, and Harry was really alive. It had been a horrible night, one that he wouldn't soon forget. Yet, even as he went through the terrible memories of the otherwise serene beach town, he knew that he had to go. Finding Potter was the most important thing. He left a handful of coins on the table (he was far too generous with the tip, but he didn't want any trouble) and returned to his dilapidated room above the seedy bar.

All he had brought with him was a small leather satchel filled with a few sets of robes and some other personal effects. He hadn't planned on it taking as long to find Potter as it had, but if he was lucky now, he could return to Malfoy Manor within the week. In the short time he had been there he had gotten far too used to the comfortable bed and extravagant food every day. With a wave of his wand everything was packed neatly inside his satchel, and he was gone with a pop.

The sea air made him sneeze. He had never been fond of the pure vastness of the ocean, and being so close to it made him uncomfortable. He was hidden in a thick patch of trees right behind the Potter's house, but even there the sea seemed to permeate the bark and the leaves, giving everything the faint scent of brine. Severus hoped he wouldn't have to stay long. All he needed was confirmation that Potter was here, and he could return to the confines of Malfoy Manor. He looked around, getting his bearings. The soft sound of waves was audible behind him, so he knew that he was facing the Potter's house. He took a step, and the crackling of leaves and branches seemed to echo in the silent stillness. Shaking his head at his jumpiness, he made his way further towards the broken down house he could barely make out through the leaves.

It was almost as he remembered. The house hadn't been so dilapidated then, its paint not quite as dull, but it was the same house. He had wandered through it, numb, just moments after Hagrid had left with the boy. James and Lily's bodies were still on the floor, unceremoniously abandonded by the great oaf and he had rescued the last living Potter. Their expressions had not been of fear, as so many victims' faces of Avada Kedavra were contorted with, but of defiance and hatred. He had looked at his old school rival, his hair still unruly even in death, and all ill feelings he had felt towards him had temporarily vanished. He had not deserved that kind of death. Seeing Lily's body, however, had brought such a flood of emotions that he found himself cursing the day he was born, cursing his very existence. He had gently closed her eyes, then apparated away before the muggle police came to search the property.

Severus took a deep breath, forcing the emotions that the house instilled deep into the recesses of his mind before continuing. He saw no lights on in the house, but the windows were open and he was sure that the bright sunlight was filtering in. Reluctantly he realized that he would have to get close enough to see through a window. He knew he would have to be careful, as Potter was likely to attack him if he saw him. While Snape was still sure that he could defeat Potter in a duel, he couldn't show the boy any more mercy until he could properly block out the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord could not have even an inkling that Severus could be against him, or it would ruin everything.

He crept around the side of the house, hoping to see any sign of life. Everything was still and silent, to Severus's great dismay. If Potter wasn't here, he had no idea where the boy could be. He ducked beneath a small window and quickly glanced inside. It was the kitchen, but not a kitchen that had been left untended for almost sixteen years. The countertops were clean, and there was something bubbling in a pot on the stove. Heartened by the sight of the kitchen, Severus crept to the next window, the one he knew led into the small living room. Peeking in, he saw the back of a very messy head lounging in the chair right in front of the window. The boy was reading a very thick, very old book and Severus's head had nearly blocked the rays of sunlight falling onto the yellowing pages. He hurriedly dropped to the ground, holding his breath and listening for the window to open. It did not. His breath escaped him in a low hiss, and he carefully made his way to the back of the house where he was safely hidden from view. Checking to make sure that there were no muggles around to see or hear him, he went back into the patch of trees and apparated to Malfoy Manor.

Severus knocked on the large door, and Draco answered it after a moment. Without a word he stepped inside, indicating to Draco to shut the door as he went into the parlor. He dropped onto the couch and Draco joined him a moment later.

"Did you find him, sir?" Draco asked, his voice eager but with a slight edge of trepidation.

"Yes. He is in Godric's Hollow - it's a small mixed community in the southwestern area of Wales. You will have to be careful to not use your magic outside if you can avoid it, as we do not want to alarm the muggles, regardless of their knowledge of us. He will attack you - I'm sure of it. With the training I've given you, you will be able to defeat him easily. You have my full permission to rough him up a bit, but remember that we need him whole and able to fight the Dark Lord when the times comes. Teach him what I have taught you, and there is no way he can fail. The Dark Lord underestimates him, which is to our advantage. Speak to no one but Potter, and do not go anywhere but to Godric's Hollow. I'm sure you understand all of this, yes?" Severus said sternly, his eyes never leaving Draco's face.

"Yes, sir, I do," Draco said solemnly. The boy had seemed to mature over the time Severus had been with him at Malfoy Manor, his demeanor far less arrogant and more focused on the task at hand. The prospect of saving his father seemed to have sobered him, and for this Severus was eternally grateful. He spent a few hours explaining to the boy what to do and exactly where to go, and then they had a quick supper with Narcissa.

The three walked out into the cool night air just as the sun settled below the horizon. Draco seemed to be shivering slightly, but Severus wasn't sure if it was due to the cold or the task at hand. He placed a hand on the boys shoulder before allowing him to apparate away.

"Do not stay too long, and do not allow him to get too comfortable with you. We want him constantly on his guard, constantly unsure of who to trust. His skills will improve faster if he feels on edge with your presence, so your task will be done sooner. Do not be seen by anyone but Potter. While Voldemort may hate muggles, he is not above using them for information. Good luck - I know you will need it. Potter is very emotional, and that hinders his ability."

Draco drank in these words, his face becoming paler and paler as Severus spoke. He nodded once, then turned to his mother. Small tears had formed at the corners of her eyes, but her face was firm. He hugged her briefly, looked back at Severus, and apparated to Godric's Hollow.

* * *

For the second time that day, Harry felt as if he were being watched. It was nothing more than a slight prickle on the back of his neck, but it was there all the same. He had become so used to being alone, pouring through the books and waiting to hear from Ron and Hermione. Their letters were as frequent as possible, but rarely useful. It was all news of very few students and overprotective teachers. Slughorn had returned as potions master, and there was yet another ministry-appointed Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, yet this one was not nearly as evil as Umbridge. From what Harry could tell, the classes were frightfully boring as the students were not allowed out on the grounds. His friends were eager to join him in Godric's Hollow, but Harry wanted to have accomplished something in his time alone before they joined him.

He heard some rustling in the area behind the house - it was typical, really, with the winds from the ocean so close, but this sound only put Harry further on edge. He picked up his wand and walked to the back door, looking outside. The sun had already set, and in the dim light it was hard to see anything. Grimacing, he tightened his grip on his wand and pushed open the door. The rusted hinges protested loudly, sending a flock of seagulls that had been resting in the gutter flying away. He saw a flash of white-blond hair to his left, and sprinted over to it, wand raised.

"Malfoy?" he asked, surprised. His confusion only lasted for a moment, then his emotions took over, the realization that a death eater had found him and that it was his nemesis from school, the one who had tried to kill Dumbledore. His lips began to form the word "Impedimenta," but before he had even expelled his breath, Draco had stopped him with a silent Protego.

Malfoy almost laughed at Potter's incompetence. He was an open book, practically screaming his thoughts for anyone to hear. The impediment jinx had been written all over his face before he had even opened his mouth, and blocking him was all too easy. He cast a few more fairly harmless jinxes at the horribly inept boy before finally disarming him and binding his feet with ropes. He had intended to simply drag him into the house and explain what was going on before untying him, but the years of animosity built up in a cold fury as Draco looked at Potter's wretched figure, helpless on the ground. He walked over to him, pulled back a fist, and punched Potter squarely in the jaw. The force of the punch forced Potter unconscious.

Close to half an hour later Harry woke, his vision still a bit blurred. His feet were still tied, but a bag of ice had been placed on his swollen jaw. Draco sat in a chair across from him, idly holding both wands.

"Nice of you to finally come around," he drawled. Harry snarled at him.

"What do you think you're - you miserable little - how dare you think - how did you even find me?" Harry said, his head swimmimg. Draco chuckled.

"I'm on an assignment. You appear to be the miserable one, who can't even cast a proper curse, and I think I can do what I have done because I have been told to do so. I found you with the help of someone who shall remain nameless, but we'll leave it at that they did not feel comfortable doing the dirty work, so they sent me," Draco said calmly, his eyes glittering with triumph.

"So the Dark Lord wants you to kill me now, is that it? Funny, he would trust you with that, when you couldn't even kill Dumbledore. I always thought that he wanted to kill me himself," Harry said defiantly. Draco smirked.

"No, Potter, the Dark Lord did not send me here to kill you. He did not send me here at all. I am here on - someone else's orders. Don't worry about who it is, I'm sure after some time you'll figure it out, unless you truly are as stupid as you've always made out to be," he drawled, idly twirling the wands between his pale fingers

.

"So, if you're not here to kill me, what is it you want?" Harry asked, his voice tinted with confusion.

"To train you. You're hopeless at dueling, I hope you realize that. You'll need to improve before you decide to take on the Dark Lord, or any of his Death Eaters, really. You'll never be able to defeat him unless you learn to close your mind," Draco said, his pale eyes boring into Harry's green ones. Echoes of the night Dumbledore died flashed through Harry's mind, and rage took over him again.

"Snape sent you, didn't he? Well, I don't want his help and I don't want yours, you filthy Death Eater!" Harry shouted. Draco actually laughed this time.

"That's too bad for you, then, because you're getting my help, whether you like it or not. If I fail at this, my father will die, so that's not an option for me. Now, we can either do this the easy way, or I can continue beating you to a pulp in your dead mother's garden," Draco said maliciously, his eyes gleaming.

Harry glared at him, but things in his mind were not adding up. If Draco was lying to him now, as Harry believed his was, why hadn't he killed him? Or, if not killed him, transported him to some filthy dungeon crawling with Death Eaters? Truthfully Malfoy had been easy on him, when Harry knew that he was capable of so much more. It couldn't be possible - was Malfoy actually being honest with him?

"Fine. I'll let you help me, but it's always going to be here, and no one is to know anything about this but you and me. I won't go anywhere else for this training, or let anyone else in here but you. If you betray me, I will find a way to kill you. Is that understood?" Harry said, his voice firm but his eyes betraying the unease he felt at the situation. Draco suppressed a smirk of satisfaction and held out his hand.

"Agreed." Harry shook the outstretched hand. His eyes never left Draco's, and while he could see a gleam of arrogant satisfaction in his eyes, for once there was no malice in them. The situation made Harry feel uneasy, but he knew that he needed the help.

That evening not much was accomplished, as Harry's head was still throbbing from the punch he had received. Draco was oddly patient with him as he struggled with controlling his emotions and blocking his memories. Harry was sure that he had seen some very personal images of his time with Ginny, but Draco kept quiet about it. Harry doubted that this new Draco would last for long, but it was an interesting change. He left at midnight, telling him to prepare for his next lesson at the same time tomorrow, and Harry collapsed into an exhausted sleep.

The lessons were long and hard. Draco soon became strict with him, nearly all of his patience lost when Harry could not control his emotions enough to close of his mind. He began chiding Harry about the memories of Ginny that were nearly always at the surface of his thoughts, and his mocking had the desired effect. Harry's concern for Ginny's safety hit home like nothing else could, and he began to improve dramatically as he focused his energies on controlling his emotions and blocking out anyone who attempted to break into his mind.

Almost two months had passed before Harry was confident in his abilities. The two dueled regularly, and Harry was finally able to master non-verbal spells. It was an unintentional side effect, but both were pleased by his progress. Harry had not mentioned his lessons with Malfoy to his friends, as he knew that they would not approve. Harry was still unsure of Draco's true motives, yet in all of the training he had never once attacked him, never once threatened him. Draco was not the same person he had attended Hogwarts with, and Harry approved of the change. After one particularly successful week, Draco made his way to the door much earlier than normal.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, still grasping his wand. Draco turned to him.

"I need to talk to the person that assigned me this task. I don't believe that there's anything else I can do for you, but he may have more that he wants me to teach you. I will return tomorrow and let you know," Draco said.

"Say hello to old Snape for me, and tell him that he'd better stay out of my path, especially now. I'm not sure what the two of you have planned, but I'm sure I'll find out sooner or later," Harry said. Draco smirked, then apparated to Malfoy Manor.

Severus and Narcissa had taken to waiting in the parlor for Draco to return, talking about their status as Death Eaters and their allegiance to the Dark Lord. Severus had the suspicion that they were being watched, and all three had begun taking precautions to ensure that no one would figure out what they were doing. Bellatrix had stopped by unannounced multiple times, but it was soon clear that she was acting on her own, and not on orders from Voldemort. Narcissa had pleaded with her to just let things be, tried to assure her that Severus was a perfect gentleman and had made no advances on her whatsoever, but Bella still didn't trust him. In response, they made out like Severus and Narcissa were simply friends united in their faith in the Dark Lord, while Draco had become something of a wild child by staging a loud fight with his mother then storming out, and his demeanor no more than frosty to the both of them whenever he returned. They had fallen into a stable routine, so both Severus and Narcissa were quite surprised when Draco returned halfway into their first cup of tea.

"Home so early, dear?" Narcissa asked, standing.

"Nothing much to do tonight, really. Think I'll go to my room for a bit," he said nonchalantly, eyeing Severus. Noticing that he wanted Severus to follow him, she began to stage another confrontation.

"Wouldn't you like to stay down here, dear? It's been a while since we've been able to just sit and talk - I feel like I don't know you anymore," she said pleadingly.

"No, I'd rather be alone tonight," Draco said loftily, turning towards the stairs and taking them two at a time.

"You should show some more respect to your mother. She's done so much for you in these hard times, and this is how you thank her?" Severus said, following him up the stairs. Narcissa hurried behind.

"I'll do what I like in my own home. You're not my father, and you can't tell me what to do in my house!" Draco shouted, stalking into his room and slamming the door. Severus took a few long strides and pulled the door open, ushering Narcissa in before closing the door and sealing it.

"Why are you home so early? Did something go wrong? Were you spotted?" Narcissa asked frantically.

"Was Potter missing?" Severus asked tersely.

"No - it's just that, well, there's nothing more I can teach him. He can effectively block me out now," Draco said, looking at Severus expectantly. The older man thought for a moment.

"I'll be right back," Severus said, a flash of pain or fear crossing his face. He returned moments later, three vials of a silvery substance in his hand.

"See that he gets these. He's earned the right to have them now, and they're far too dangerous for me to carry around," Severus said, handing the vials to Draco. The boy examined the vials, then looked up at the man questioningly.

"What is this stuff?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with. You've done a wonderful job, Draco, now all we need to do is sit and wait."

The next day, Draco delivered the vials and Harry took them eagerly. Potter was equally useless in explaining what they were, but it didn't matter to Draco anymore. He was done training Potter, and he could go back to hating the boy in peace.

Harry grasped the vials, hoping against hope that he was holding the proof of Snape's innocence, the reasons why Dumbledore trusted him so. It wouldn't change the way he felt about the man who had killed Harry's mentor, but it would at least give him the closure he felt he deserved. As soon as Draco had left, Harry dashed to the old nursery where he had stored the pensieve and uncorked the first vial. The swirling silvery vapor slipped into the contents of the pensieve easily, and for one heartstopping moment Harry was afraid that the memory would be lost within the rest of the silvery liquid, but he soon saw Severus Snape's much younger face float to the surface. Without a second thought, Harry thrust his face into the bowl.

It was a sunny day in Diagon Alley, but Harry could see the tension on people's faces - it was the same atmosphere on Diagon Alley that existed now. But Ollivander's was still open, and Fortescue's. That's where Snape was heading. Fortescue's.

A pretty redhead sat at a table, feeding a small bowl of ice cream to a messy-haired baby. Severus smiled, despite the look of pain in his eyes.

"May I sit here?" he asked tentatively, motioning to the seat beside the pram. Lily looked up at him pensively, then nodded. They sat for a few moments in silence, until she finally spoke.

"How have you been, Severus? It's been years," she said, a bit stiffly.

"I've been well, I suppose. Trying to find a good job, trying to pay the bills. I heard about your marriage to James - I hope things are well there," he responded, avoiding her eyes.

"They are. You haven't met Harry, have you? We had him about 9 months ago. Harry, say hello to Severus," she said, a light in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She had pulled the baby onto her lap and faced him towards Severus.

"He looks so much like his father already," Severus said, his lip curling slightly.

"I think that's why I love him so," Lily said fondly, pretending to not notice his expression. "Is there anyone special in your life, Severus?" A long, uncomfortable pause followed.

"No, Lily, there isn't. There hasn't been, since...well, things haven't been the same since school. I miss our friendship," he said in a rushed, youthful manner. Lily looked up at him with a soft expression on her face.

"We were friends, weren't we? In a roundabout way, anyway," she said, a bit wistfully. "I've heard rumors that you're in league with Voldemort now," she added, her voice now a low, harsh whisper.

"Lily, rumors about me have been flying since our school days, and they were rarely true. If you want to ask me something, ask it," Severus said coolly, but Harry noticed his left arm twitch slightly. Lily met his eyes, staring at him evenly, before returning her gaze to the baby in her arms.

"You said and did some things in school that would lead me to believe it, but I remember how you were when you weren't surrounded by the idiots in the school. I don't think you're cruel-hearted enough to truly believe what they do," she replied to his unanswered question. Severus watched her face with a mixture of admiration and longing.

"I know I said some things that hurt you, and I'm truly sorry for them. I know it's too late to ask for forgiveness, but I am sorry. I only wanted you to be happy, Lily, and when it was clear you cared for him - well, clear to me, at least - it hurt. I know, I should have expressed my feelings sooner, told you that I saw you as more than the friend you thought I was, but I didn't have the strength then. I just hope that you're happy now, happy with...with him," he said after a moment, his voice a bit raw. Lily looked up at him, surprised.

"I am happy. Very happy. James and Harry - they're my whole world. I'd die for either of them in an instant. Just having them in my life makes it so much more wonderful than I could have ever imagined," Lily said, a bit hesitantly. Severus wouldn't meet her eyes. She reached out her hand and placed it over his own. "I knew, Severus. I knew how you felt. You hid it well, especially in those times when you thought it was too obvious and worked to hide it. But somehow, I knew. And it was reciprocated - maybe not to the degree you felt it for me, but I did care for you. You intrigued me, and challenged me in ways that James can't even now. I thank you for that." Severus looked up at her, pulling his hand away reluctantly.

"You shouldn't say such things. You're a married woman now," he said, his cheeks coloring slightly.

"I can say them now, when I'm so in love with my husband that I know nothing can change that. But I think it's only right you should know, so you don't have to go on wondering. It's good to see that you haven't changed, Severus. You're still a tough nut to crack, but you're not as hard on the outside as you'd like people to believe. No, I don't think you're a Death Eater - there's too much good in you. It's just hiding, waiting for the right person to bring it out. I hope you find that person," Lily said, placing the baby back into the stroller. She stood, and Severus followed suit.

"It was good to see you, Severus. I hope it's not another five years until I see you again," she said, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. She walked away, and Severus' eyes followed her, his fingertips grazing the place she had kissed. Shaking his head, he sat back down.

"Saying your final goodbyes?" a harsh female voice said, coming up behind him. Severus whipped around, and found himself face to face with a much younger-looking but unmistakable Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Final goodbyes?" he asked nonchalantly, one eyebrow slightly raised.

"Yes, haven't you heard? Our Lord has decided that the Potter boy is the one mentioned in the prophecy. He is planning his attack on the Potters as we speak," she said in a harsh whisper, her maniacal eyes brimming with joy.

"Well, that is good news," Severus said, his voice shaking a bit. "Good news indeed..."

Harry pulled himself out of the pensieve, shaking. His anger towards Snape had only increased, knowing that he had willingly sent a person he loved to her death, simply because he was alone and bitter. He was tempted to smash the remaining vials, but his training with Draco had helped him control such emotions. With trembling fingers, he uncorked the next vial and poured it in, then thrust his face back into the pensieve.

"Severus, how good to see you!" a jovial Dumbledore said as he admitted the potions master into his study. "Lily told me that she saw you a few weeks ago, she was delighted. James, of course, was a bit sour, but he's never been quite as good of a judge of character as Lily or me. Now sit down, my boy, and tell me, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? Your letter seemed quite urgent."

Severus did not sit. Instead he thrust out his wand, motioning for Dumbledore to take it.

"I'm no match for your power, sir, but please, take my wand first, to prove to you I mean you no harm," he said, a bit frantically. Dumbledore, his expression a bit confused, took the wand. Severus rolled up his sleeve, and the Dark Mark was clearly visible against his pale skin. Dumbledore's intake of breath was audible in the stony silence of the room, but he said nothing, waiting for the younger man to speak.

"I took the mark right after I heard of Lily and James' wedding. I had thought - no, hoped, really - that I could win her, somehow. When they married, I realized that I could not, and all the bitterness I had felt built up and forced me to the only people I thought were my friends, and they had all taken the mark ages before. I did not want to take it, but I felt I had no reason not to. I regret it." His voice was almost pleading.

"Go on," Dumbledore said, his voice colder than Severus had ever heard it.

"The Dark Lord made good use of my potion making skills for the first few years, and I have no doubt that my work has led to many deaths. I am not proud of those, either. Years past, and the Dark Lord grew tired of having me safe in a dungeon, believing that all of his supporters should put their lives on the line for him, and he set me to the task of spying on you. I was loyal to him - he had given me food, clothing, a place to call home, and a family I had never truly had. I was eager - excited, even - to prove myself worthy of him. My first assignment was the night I was caught in the Hog's Head - the night I overheard the prophecy. I would have been severely punished, had I not passed on the information I had heard - that the child who would defeat him was to be born as the seventh month died. He seemed pleased with my efforts, then thrust me back into the dungeons to perfect my poisons.

I was relieved, sir. Spying on you made me feel awful, because it made me remember the person I could have been when I was in school. But my 'friends' brought me tales of how pleased the Dark Lord was with me, how he favored me above almost all others, and I did not protest. It was nice to feel like I was important to someone, even if I was only a tool. I heard whispers of who this mysterious child could be, for there were two - the Longbottoms' child and the Potters'. I was not worried, initially - I was sure that the Dark Lord would believe it to be the Longbottoms', as they were pureblooded. But the Dark Lord refused to make a decision - I suppose he had spies on the Longbottoms and the Potters, too, and he was doing his own research. Then, a few weeks ago, I saw Lily in Diagon Alley. She's still such an amazing person, Sir. Sweet and caring...seeing her made me hate everything I've been, everything I've become since I took the mark. I realized after seeing her that I could not continue serving the Dark Lord, not when he would kill people like her at simply the drop of a hat. What she said to me - that is, what we talked about - made me realize that just because she had chosen someone else to love didn't mean that I had to give up on the rest of the world, and I truly hated what I was doing with my life. And what sealed the deal was when I found out that the Dark Lord has chosen the Potter boy to go after, that very same day."

Dumbledore's face, now very serious, grew even darker as he absorbed this information. He lowered himself to his chair, and Severus, winded from his frantic explanation, fell into the chair behind him. The room was very silent for a few moments, until Dumbledore finally looked up at him.

"My boy, I do believe you. But in times like these, I'm sure you understand that trusting anyone, especially one who bears the dark mark, is very foolish. Therefore, I must be sure that you are truthful. Legilimens!"

The curse was so sudden, so unexpected, that it was clear to Harry that Severus did not expect it at all. His head rolled limply on his shoulders as Dumbledore's curse coursed through his mind, and he powerless to stop it. For once, Harry felt sorry for his potions master, so weak and hopeless that he would reduce himself to this in order to repent for all the damage he had done. Dumbledore gently lifted his wand, and Severus collapsed into the chair once again.

"I'm sorry, my boy, but I did not want you preparing yourself - I'm sure you understand. Apparently, I needn't have worried. I take it Voldemort does not see fit to teach his followers Occlumency, then?" Dumbledore said, his voice once again calm.

"Occlumency, sir?" Severus asked, confused.

"I will teach you later. You will need to know it. Now forgive me, dear boy, but I did notice a few things as I was perusing through your thoughts - something about the Dark Lord wanting you to take a position here, and something about saving Lily's life?"

Severus looked at the older man, shocked. He took a moment to compose his thoughts, then looked up at the Headmaster.

"The Dark Lord recently requested that I attempt to get a job here at Hogwarts - apparently there is something in the school, some sort of artifact, that he'd like to have. He told me that he would give me more information on it once I secured the position."

"And Lily?" Dumbledore asked.

"He, well...Bellatrix told him that I fancy her. He rewards his followers for good behavior, and he...well, he told me that if I'm successful, once he kills the Potter boy, I - I can have Lily. I wouldn't want that - I don't want that. She told me herself that she'd die for James or Harry...she'd never be the same person if they were gone...but if I can't save them all, it'd be nice to at least...at least save her. It's all my fault...my fault that he's chasing them, my fault if they die..." Severus's voice trailed off as he cradled his head in his hand.

"Severus, you are not the one to blame - it is Voldemort's evilness that would be their ultimate demise. But your information can help them, and it will. I will take you on as a professor and to protect you, should you need it, under one condition - you will continue to act as though you are loyal to Voldemort, and inform me of any information you hear regarding James and Lily. If the prophecy is true, and you help me make Harry into the boy he is destined to be, then any sins you may have committed in the past will be wiped clean. Do I have your word?" Dumbledore said, his eyes bright. Severus stood before him.

"Whatever you ask, I will do. I am your loyal servant - you have my word," Severus said, holding out his hand.

"I have no need of servants. I do not wish you to grovel at my feet and fear me as Voldemort would have his followers do. You are far more valuable to me than that, and I would prefer you to be only a steadfast and true companion in this war," Dumbledore said. Severus nodded, and Dumbledore shook his hand.

Harry pulled his head from the stone basin, more confused and less livid than he had been before. The performance he had just watched could have been a spectacularly staged production on the part of a cruel Death Eater, but that just didn't seem to be the case. Snape's emotions, something Harry had never seen before and never thought truly existed, were so raw and true that it was hard to believe that they were fake. And Dumbledore believed him. He had performed Legilimency on him, and he still believed him. And though he tried to deny it, part of Harry was beginning to believe it, too. He finally uncorked the last vial and emptied its contents into the basin. They swirled quickly for a moment, then Harry plunged his face in once more.

He was in Dumbledore's office once again, but it was the same office he had seen the past year, the same, weakened Dumbledore he had seen so rarely. In the confines of his office, he appeared even weaker and paler than usual. He was sitting limply in the chair behind his desk, gently scratching Fawkes' head as he listened to what appeared to be a ranting Snape.

"The boy won't let me near him! Every time I try to find out what he's doing, he blocks me out! Someone has been teaching him Occlumency, Headmaster, and he's using it against me. I know he intends to kill you using some sort of dark artifact, but other than that, I'm completely clueless. I'm not used to this state before, and frankly, sir, it worries me," the potions master snarled, pacing in front of the desk.

"Severus, calm down. Now is not the time to panic - I'm sure you will find a way to get to the boy. Through his mother, perhaps? She is all he has left now," Dumbledore suggested.

"I already promised her my life if he is not able to do this, but apparently he has no regard for my life at all. Any attempts she makes with him fall on deaf, pompous ears as he tries to please the Dark Lord on his own. The Dark Lord is the only one among us who had even killed a person at Draco's age - it's ridiculous for Draco to think that he has a chance at doing it himself!" Snape fumed.

"Perhaps, if you ask Voldemort to talk to him -" Dumbledore started, but Severus silenced him with a look.

"The Dark Lord finds this whole situation quite amusing, truth be told. He enjoys watching Draco struggle, and he does not realize that my life is on the line, should Draco fail. True, he does intend me to help, but you'd never know it from speaking with Draco. And, if it is at all possible, I would like to stay out of the Dark Lord's presence. He is growing restless, and he tends to take his restlessness out on his followers. I'd prefer to not have to deal with the after-effects of a nastily placed cruciatus curse along with trying to follow Draco around at all hours. I'm getting stretched a bit thin, Headmaster," Severus said coldly, still pacing.

"There is an obvious answer to this, Severus. I am surprised you haven't come to the same conclusion I have," Dumbledore said placidly.

"And what solution is that?"

"You must kill me before Draco has the chance to try."

Severus stared at the Headmaster in a stunned silence for a few moments before speaking.

"Kill you? Sir, I could not. I would die before killing you, and kill those who tried to commit such a crime. I swore my allegiance to you, and I will not betray that," Severus said, his voice a bit shaky.

"If you do it on my orders, Severus, you are not betraying my allegiance. I am weak, and I will die by then end of this year whether or not you are the one to do it. I would much rather it be you, doing it because it is what is right for me, than anyone else," Dumbledore said hoarsely.

"Think about what you are asking me, Headmaster! As it is you have me playing both sides, making it appear as if I am the traitorous scum of the Earth, chasing after Draco and trying to figure out his plan, not to mention trying to prepare that idiot Potter boy for battle with the Dark Lord, and now you're asking me to kill you, too? I cannot, Headmaster, I won't!" Severus shouted.

"You promised me once, Severus, that you would help me get Harry to be the man he is supposed to be, as it was prophesized. This is what must happen! I am going to die, and if you do not do it, my death will be in vain. You must be the one to prevent Draco from becoming a murderer and gaining Voldemort's trust, and you must be the one to convince him to help Harry, so your cover is not blown with the Dark Lord. This is just how it must be," Dumbledore said, his voice a bit edgy.

"Can't another Order member do it? Then my cover wouldn't be blown, and Draco still wouldn't become a murderer," Severus said earnestly.

"None of them are strong enough - they would all die before allowing me to die. Their sacrifice would be admirable, but wasted on an old fool like me. Besides, as you said before, you are the only one who appears to be on both sides of the fence, just riding out the storm and hoping to jump on the bandwagon on the right side. It would come as no surprise to anyone if you were to kill me when Voldemort's forces are gaining power. You are the only one that can do this, Severus."

"You are overestimating my abilities, Headmaster. I have never killed anyone - what makes you think I have the strength to do so, especially to you? You have sheltered me, protected me and befriended me for these past sixteen years - you are the only family I have. You are essentially asking me to kill my own father, Dumbledore - it would be impossible," Severus said pleadingly.

"I am...honored that you see me that way, Severus," Dumbledore said, his voice cracking. "But even the best of children sometimes have to say when it is the right time for their parents to leave. I know you have the power, Severus. I know it is in you. I would rather you be the one to kill me than anyone else, and I beg you to do this for me, my boy."

Severus looked up at the older man, and for the first time Harry noticed tears in his typically stoic potion master's eyes. He looked beaten, broken, lost.

"Headmaster, I will do what I can. But I can only promise you that I will do my best to fulfill your request - I may not succeed," he said, his voice hollow.

"I will only ever ask you to do your best, Severus. But I know you will succeed - you've never let me down in the past."

The memory faded away into darkness, and Harry pulled himself once again from the stone basin. He felt an amazing sense of pity for Snape, despite the gnawing part of him that still wanted to believe he was evil. He felt truly sorry for the things he had said about the potions master in the past, knowing now what he had had to go through in their years together. Snape had finally succeeded in what he had promised Dumbledore so many years ago - Harry finally felt ready to face the challenges that were to come. He still had to be wary around Snape, should their paths cross, but Harry's mission now was more than just petty revenge. He needed to fulfill the prophecy, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. There was nothing more important that fulfilling the dream Dumbledore had died for. He carefully tucked the pensieve away, then dashed into the living room to write a note to his friends.

"Dear Ron and Hermione-

If you are willing to come, I could use your help here at headquarters. See if Neville and Luna would like to join you, too - We will need all the help we can get.

-Harry"