Skewed Reality

Chapter 3 - I Am the Eggman

"...Harry?"

Mmph, don't want to get up...

"HARRY!!!!!"

Harry sat up abruptly, gasping for air. "Hermione?! What did you do tha - Wait, where am I? What's going on? Augh!!"

Hermione sighed, placing the now empty pitcher on the floor. "You sat down in the middle of the entrance hall and just fell asleep. Honestly, Harry! What is wrong with you? I had to resort to dumping water all over you so you'd wake up!"

Harry rubbed his hands over his face. "...I was asleep?"

"Yes, Harry. Asleep." Hermione rolled her eyes and idly wondered if some gremlins had run along and replaced Harry's brain with the giant squid's.

"...Okay. So, no Draco..."

Hermione looked up sharply. "What?"

"Oh, nothing...."

Harry's eyes seemed to glaze over as he stood and floated out up towards the Gryffindor tower in an oddly dream-like state. So it was all a strange dream. That's... interesting. But good to know. Yes. I feel bad for Draco now, though. Agghh. Must... not... feel... sympathy... for... the...Devi - AUGH!!

Harry slammed into a quite solid and unexpected object, and sprawled backwards onto the floor.

"You should watch where you're going, Potter," Draco drawled. "Wouldn't want you to get hurt or anything."

"Stuff it, Malfoy." Harry glared at the ceiling, as he hadn't quite found the motivation to stand up yet.

All of a sudden, Harry's eyes glazed over again, and he relaxed into the floor, beginning to speak in a soft monotone. "I had a dream about you, Draco..."

"...."

"It made me feel so bad for you..."

"What the hell, Potter?!" Draco began to back up.

"It made me want to be your friend...."

"....Oh gods, I think he's finally cracked. Somebody, get this lunatic to the infirmary before he touches me or something!"

"And, Draco..."

"Did you just call me Draco??"

"You had such a pretty voice, in my dream...."

"What the crack?! Get away from me! Stop clawing at my pants like that, you demented pervert!!"

"Sing for me again Draco, will you?"

"NO!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Just then, Ron walked in on the scene, and saw Harry and Draco in a rather... odd position. That is to say, Draco was backed up against a wall in the corridor, all of his usual composure lost, and looking like he would be running away screaming if he could. Harry, however, was laid out on his stomach on the floor, pawing aimlessly at Draco's pants and nuzzling his head against Draco's leg.

Ron decided the gods must have sent him to intervene, so intervene he did. "Ahem."

Draco never thought he would be this glad to see a Gryffindor. "RON!! ... I mean... Weasley! Get this thing off me!"

"I'm not doing favours for you, Draco. But if Harry were.... Himself, I guess, I'm sure he'd be terrified of this."

With that, Ron firmly marched over and attempted to pry Harry off of Draco's leg.

"But.... But.... FUZZY!!!!" Harry screamed as he clawed at the air. "More fuzzy! Neeeeeeeed fuzzy!"

Draco raised an elegant eyebrow. "I presume that I am said fuzzy? That's... odd, and slightly frightening, I must say."

Ron shrugged. "You may want to leave, though -- for your own sake. I think our dear Harry has finally flown off his rocker and smacked into a wall."

Draco looked pointedly at Harry, then back at Ron. "You're right, you know. I'm going to go back to my common room, then."

"Alright. I'll make sure he doesn't attempt to rabidly molest you anymore."

As Draco turned and began to walk off, both he and Ron shared a similar thought process. Was I just nice to a - Not just one of them, but one of my worst enemies! I've finally cracked! Oh, gods!

Draco turned a corner and began his descent down to the Slytherin common room as he thought, well, at least Harry thinks I have a pretty voice. Heh heh heh...

Back upstairs, Harry had gotten back to as normal as a legendary boy named Harry Potter got, and was dazedly talking to Ron.

"...So, you mean I...?"

"Yeah, Harry. You did."

"Oh, gods. I can't believe I molested his leg! Eurgh!!"

"Exactly what I thought."

"...He does have a pretty voice, though."

"Harry?"

"Yes, Ron?"

"Shut the hell up."