Dates, Pranks and Marauders

Chapter IV- The Aftermath

'I'm going to kill him!' James shouted, his voice cracking, as he stormed into the common room, slamming the portrait shut behind him. A small group of first year girls looked up terrified, and quickly ran up to their dormitories.

'Do I have to ask who?' Remus asked, trying to keep a straight face.

'Oh! YOU KNOW WHO! And if you don't, then you'll soon be able to recognize him! He'll be the dead one!' James exhorted, now very red in the face.

Remus began to guide James up the spiral staircase towards the boy's dormitories.

'I'm going to rip him limb from limb! I'm going to gut him, pull out his intestines, and strangle him with them! I'm going to curse him so hard his grandchildren will feel it! His legs will be where his ears should be and his ears will be where his legs should be!'

Peter led the way up the stairs as Remus pushed James forward, trying not to listen to what he had to say.

'Hell! I don't even need magic! I'll just strangle him with my bare hands! I'm going to wring his ugly neck!! Next time you see that two-faced son of a-'

'Now James, don't say anything you'll later regret.'

'He's a dead man, I tell you!'

Remus ushered James into the sixth year dormitory, putting a silencing charm on the room, as Peter held the door open for the two of them. Remus felt quite sure that whatever James was saying in his blind rage, he wouldn't want the rest of the school to hear it. Besides, he thought it looked like one of the first year girls had gone into hysterics at James hostile behavior.

'I'm going to cut off his bloody dog-ears and make him eat them! I'm going to kill him, bring him back to life, then kill him again!'

'Now, why exactly are you going to kill him?' Peter asked, looking as though he thought James might kill him, too.

'He made my date the worst date ever! It was the worst experience of my life!'

'Now surely it couldn't have been that bad,' Remus said.

'Oh, you have no idea. You can't possibly fathom the utter misery I've suffered. We were just about to kiss-'

'Well, that sounds good...' Remus began.

'We were about to kiss, and then the really bad part happened. This thing,' James motioned to his head violently, 'came out and do you know what it did? I'll tell you what it did! It spat bubotuber pus all over her face, and then, yes it does get worse, it bit her right smack on the nose!'

'Yes, well, that is unfortunate,' Remus muttered as James took a breath.

'How would you feel if you had to drag Lily back through the passage in Honeydukes, all the way back to the castle, while all the time her face is swelling and she's crying? Then we have to avoid the teachers, which under the best of circumstances isn't an easy task!' James said as he recalled a very close call they had had with McGonagall.

'What did you do with her?' Peter asked tentatively.

'I took her to the hospital wing to recuperate. The matron said that she'll be there two and a half days,' James replied, sadly rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. 'She's never going to talk to me again.'

'Perhaps you could bring her a large box of chocolates to cheer her up...and a paper bag to wear over her head,' Remus suggested.

'This is all Sirius' fault! I'm going to kill him!' By now, Remus and Peter had begun to ignore James' furious rants. Remus began to guide James over to his bed, and sat him down on it, looking him in the eye.

'Now James, you need to calm down. I want you to take a deep breath, then look under your bed. You have some Chocolate Frogs under there-'

'Chocolate Frogs!' Peter squeaked, 'And you weren't going to tell me about them?'

'Not now, Peter,' Remus told Peter shortly, 'those are for Lily. James, you need to take those down to the hospital wing, give them to Lily and keep her company.'

'What if she won't talk to me? What if she hates me?' James asked, still in slight hysterics.

'She doesn't have much choice in the matter, now does she? She is stuck there for two and a half days.'

James didn't get up, so Remus dragged him from his bed, shoved the chocolates into his stomach so he would have to grab them, and quickly pushed him out of the door, slamming it shut behind him.

'Well, it looks like Jamsie really wants to kill me,' Sirius said, stepping out from beneath the Invisibility Cloak.

'This is the last time I'm going to cover for you,' Remus told him.

'You've been saying that for the last four years,' Sirius replied running a hand through his hair and grinning.

'Well, this is really the last time,' Remus said pacing back and forth with his back to Sirius, who was mimicking him the entire time, 'I mean it! And don't mimic me.' Remus didn't have to turn around to know what Sirius was doing, especially since his senses were heightened around the full moon. As Remus spun around to look at Sirius, Sirius pulled a grotesque face at him.

'Real mature, Sirius, real mature,' Remus said, rolling his eyes.

'I'm not the mature one, you and James are. Well, at least James used to be...now he's the homicidal maniac of the group.'

Remus stared blankly at him at this remark.

'I really don't think I can deal with you right now, in fact, I think now is a very good time for you to go away.'

'Go? Go where? This is my dormitory, too,' Sirius commented, wildly waving his arms around.

'Why don't you go to the library, you've certainly been there enough lately. And take Peter with you, too. I can't deal with him either.'

'Hey, what did I do?' Peter asked indignantly.

'You're annoying and small,' Remus said dismissively, 'leave now, both of you.'

Peter and Sirius looked at each other slack-jawed, then got up and left as Remus sighed, sinking down onto his bed.

****

James tapped softly on door to the hospital wing; the matron, Madam Pomfrey, flung the door open, her hands braced strongly against the doorjambs, as if to violently prevent him from entering the room. James was very taken aback at this, but swallowed his nerves, deciding that he could probably sweet talk his way in.

'No one is allowed in here, now run along,' the matron responded in a very business-like, clipped tone.

'I know that normally, but, you know, I just feel so responsible for what happened to Lily, and-'

'Well, you should feel responsible after what you did to the poor girl. Her face is swollen up worse than a bloated toad.'

'But, poor Lily, I wish I could just tell her how sorry I am. She shouldn't have to stay in the dark, cold, lonely hospital wing all alone.'

'It's not all that dark and cold. Now leave, go on.'

'But-'

'No buts, just go,' she snappishly told him, with that she promptly shut the door in James' face, leaving him standing sputtering in the hall.

'Neeeeeeeee!'

As James heard this noise, which was now worse than a death rattle to him, he realised that he was not in fact wearing any sort of head covering. Either the matron had not noticed it or else she was so used to seeing bizarre maladies that she didn't care. James headed back to the dormitory with the intention of getting something to cover his head and perhaps the Invisibility cloak so he could return to the hospital wing and visit Lily later.

James walked through the long halls of Hogwarts, listening to his feet resound in the utter silence and emptiness of the castle. The only noticeable sound other than the shuffling of his feet was the susurration of his long robes. He wondered what he might actually do to Sirius if he met him in the dark hallway. Judging by the complete lack of human presence, it was probably getting very late into the night, and there would be no one to hear that slimy git scream.

Finally reaching the portrait of the Fat Lady in the pink silk dress, James gave the password to get in.

'Hydra,' He said monotonously.

James trudged up the spiral staircase to the dormitory, creaking the door open wearily. He noticed that all the lights were extinguished, which was highly unusual at any time on a Saturday night, and that all the beds were empty except one. Remus was lying under his bed clothes with his head where his feet should have been.

'Remus?' James said, hoping not to disturb him if he happened to be asleep.

'Go away,' said a muffled voice from the bottom end of the bed.

'Er- are you alright?'

'No. Go away.'

'Where is everyone else?'

'I kicked them out. Go. Now.'

'Alright, well have you seen my Invisibility cloak?'

'I don't care. Go away, James. Why are you here?'

'Well, typically I sleep here...'

'Not tonight you won't. Really- go away.'

'Is there anything I can do to help you?'

'We've been through this every month for years. No. Go away, now!' Remus said testily, his muffled voice getting louder.

'OK, well I'll just find my cloak and go, then. If you see Sirius, tell him I'm going to kill him.' James told him, beginning to rummage through his trunk, searching for his hat and cloak. The crimson duvet cover on Remus' bed suddenly flopped over menacingly.

'I don't think you understand. Get out. Now. Or I will hurt you.'

'Just how close is it to the full moon, anyway?' James replied amicably, placing his hat on his head and throwing the cloak over his arm.

'It's on Tuesday. But you need to leave. I am angry, I am carnivorous, my head hurts, and here you are...still talking and not leaving.'

'Fine, Moony, fine. So, do you think Lily will talk to me?' James asked with a grin. Remus had had enough, and all James heard as he quickly departed was a long low growl, and a hastily muttered, 'venison.'

****

Sirius and Peter broke into the library late on Saturday night. Peter didn't see why they had to go to the library, when there were many other places to spend a night that would be perfectly fine, but, as Sirius pointed out, it was best to do exactly what Moony said when he was in such a state. Also, he didn't think James would be likely to spring in on them in the library, and Sirius liked living quite a lot.

'Can't we go back to the dorm?' Peter whined, after they had sat in utter darkness and silence for the past half hour.

'No,' Sirius growled in reply.

'I'm tired...and hungry.'

'Then go to the kitchen. I don't care what you do.'

'Oh, OK. Well, will you come with me? I'm scared of Filch,' Peter said, lowering his voice at this last pronouncement.

Sirius gave him a long look that was enhanced by moonlight spilling across his face in the otherwise black abyss of the library. Taking this as a "no," Peter tried something else.

'Alright then, well, where are we going to sleep?'

'I don't know, Peter. Books can be quite comfortable, when used appropriately,' Sirius replied without breaking his stare into the abyss.

'I could have had a date tonight,' Sirius said sadly, more to himself than to Peter, 'but no, I had to pull a stupid prank. Now I'm stuck in a library all night with Peter. Why did I do that?'

'Hey, it's not all that bad, Sirius.'

Sirius broke his stoic gaze and turned ever so slowly to stare incredulously at Peter, and then he turned back towards the towering windows and heavily rested his chin on his hands.

****

James had stayed with Lily all through Saturday night and Sunday, leaving her side only to fetch her things and bring extra sweets from the kitchens, much to her dismay. He came to visit her between every class on Monday, actually taking good notes, and bringing her a summary of every class and the assignments, and yet the only words she had so far uttered to him were, 'go away.'

It seemed a lot of people wanted James to go away lately. Remus had gotten so bad this month that Madam Pomfrey had taken him into the hospital wing late on Sunday, after his usual pre-lunar check-up. He was even more foul tempered than usual as James heard him complaining bitterly behind a tall curtain a few beds down from Lily.

Sirius avoided James as much as possible, which was really fine with him. If that nosy prat wanted to go off and hang out with Wormtail then that was just fine with him. Besides, he had to take care of Lily. Madam Pomfrey had given up trying to evict James from the hospital wing, he just kept coming back, and at least his presence kept Lily quiet.

As angry and wolfish as Remus was feeling, he couldn't stand hearing James constantly speaking while Lily said nothing. It was quite annoying really. He tried several times to get up and shuffle over in his hospital robes, while the matron wasn't paying attention, and beg Lily to say something to James. Lily would carry on perfectly civil conversations with Remus, while she covered her face with her sheets. James had tried every way he could think of to explain the Thing to Lily, but she didn't want to hear.

It turned out that Sirius had been gravely mistaken. The creature did not, in fact, disappear as he had predicted, 'in twenty-four hours.' Much to James' astonishment, the creature burst into bright green flames, unfortunately singing the top of his unruly black hair. Unluckily for him, this happened in the midst of their Binns exam, catching his hat on fire and causing mass chaos for a good portion of the class. This was probably the most excited old Binns ever got, he went as far as to pull out his wand and put the fire out. He then told the class in his monotonous, wheezy voice to get back to their exams immediately.

By Tuesday evening, Remus was beginning to get nervous. He didn't want this to be the first time since his friends became Animagi for the marauders not to roam the grounds. James and Sirius still weren't talking, and since he was cooped up in the hospital wing, he couldn't be the one to patch things up. While Remus was worrying, James approached Sirius in the Great Hall at dinner.

'So,' James said, walking up to Sirius. Sirius started as he noticed James, he made to run for it, but James reached out and grabbed his upper arm.

'Wait,' James looked him in the eye. 'I am still angry with you, but I think we need to put aside our differences for tonight. For Remus' sake.'

'Really?' Sirius asked, his eyes widening in disbelief. 'But how do I know you won't kill me while we're out?'

'You don't,' James grinned maliciously. For a moment it seemed that everything was back to normal, until James added, 'but I'm still going to kill you when the full moon is over.'

'Oh, OK...' Sirius said, very uncomfortably sitting back down at the table, and looking as though he really wanted to say more. James sat down across from Sirius and glared evilly at him. Sirius hesitated for a moment, then said as sincerely as he could possibly be,

'I really am sorry, James. Hope I didn't mess up your chances with Lily.' He took James' silence and stoic stature to mean that he wasn't commenting, 'I'll- I'll understand if you never forgive me...'

'You're not sorry,' James said, as Sirius' face fell, 'You're Sirius.' James then tried to look angry and unforgiving, but couldn't help but grin. When Sirius looked up and saw his best friend's face, he began to grin as well.

***

Again, we are very pleased to receive reviews. By giving them to us you are lighting up our lives. Also, by reviewing you are making us want to post much more, much faster. ;)
-Hillary (and not techinically) Jess