A Godfather's Love (aka The Other Side of the Coin)

A Godfather's Love (aka The Other Side of the Coin)
by hgseeker
M (R)

1 -- The Beginning

Sirius Black bunched his pillow beneath his neck on his bed at Grimmauld Place and lay down to read the latest letter from his godson Harry. Harry was the son of his closest friend, James Potter, who had been killed along with his wife, Lily Evans Potter, when the boy was just a little over a year old, by Voldemort, the greatest and most dangerous Dark wizard of all time. Their Secret-Keeper, Wormtail (formerly Peter Pettigrew), had betrayed their hiding place to him.

Harry had been targeted because of a prophecy regarding him and Voldemort; the latter believed he should destroy Harry while he was still small. Both James and Lily had been killed within moments via the Avada Kedavra; a short time later, Voldemort had turned to the infant boy, intending to do the same to him. Unfortunately for the Dark Lord, the curse backfired and nearly killed him because of Lily's blood sacrifice for her only child, some of the oldest magic known to wizardkind.

But the result was that Harry had been left an orphan. Sirius had tried to take custody, but Dumbledore had stepped in, claiming it was best for the child to be placed with blood kin. If Sirius could have known how nasty and abusive the Dursleys were beforehand, he'd have risked everything to rescue the boy from those monsters and went into hiding if necessary to raise him himself. To his mind, a loving home was far better than supposed "safety" with so-called relatives who all but hated him. No one knew better than he what a nightmare it was to live like that, and Harry had been through enough without going through that as well. But it was kind of hard to go against someone the size of Hagrid, so Sirius didn't have much choice but to allow him to take the child to Lily's relatives, even lending him his flying motorcycle for the trip.

But he had constantly been worried about Harry's health and happiness and was sick at heart once he finally saw him--tired, sad, and far too thin, wearing clothes ten times too large for him. Worst of all, Harry had had the erroneous idea that he had both killed over a dozen people, including Wormtail, when Sirius knew that it was the latter, along with several Death Eaters, who had killed the twelve Muggles. But it was Sirius who had been convicted and placed in Azkaban without trial for their deaths. Fortunately Sirius had managed to convince Harry of his innocence, and they had struck up a correspondence shortly after the boy and his friends had helped him escape on the hippogriff Buckbeak and go into hiding.

At first, his affection for Harry had been a mixture of that of a father and older brother. It was only recently, after having seen him and spent time with him at the Burrow during Christmas holidays (Harry had asked Molly Weasley to invite him) that he was literally dumbstruck at how handsome the boy had become. He was a virtual duplicate of his father: tall, slender, and well-built, but with Lily's sparkling green eyes, surrounded by thick, dark lashes and James's gorgeously messy hair.

He had also noticed how seventeen-year-old Ginny Weasley used every possible opportunity to spend time with Harry ... and vice versa. In fact, he was convinced that Harry was in love with her--and although they hadn't had a chance to discuss it at the time, his suspicions had been confirmed upon the receipt of Harry's latest letter.

You've got to help me, Sirius, Harry had written. I've never felt like this before about anyone. Ginny is so sweet, so beautiful, and all I want to do is be with her ... but most of all, I want to hold her, kiss her, touch her--and never let her go. I can even picture us getting married and having children. Is this being in love? If so, please tell me and give me some advice as to how to handle it. I don't know what to do!

Sirius had also inadvertently come upon a romantic rendezvous between the young couple at the Burrow in the darkened living room late one night shortly after Christmas. He was awestruck at how much they resembled James and Lily, both when they argued and when they were loving each other, as now. Harry held Ginny securely yet gently, and she was sighing softly against his lips as he kissed her. After a time he was stunned to see the boy's hands move to cup her sweetly rounded bum and press her close to him as he moved sensuously against her.

"Oh, Harry, I love you. I love you ..."

"Gin, you're so sweet, so delicious. I don't think I'll ever get enough of you ..."

"No more talking, Potter. Kiss me again," she lovingly scolded, and pulled him back to kiss her deeply once again. It wasn't until Harry's right hand moved up to gently cradle one of Ginny's small but perfect breasts that Sirius decided he'd seen enough. As he'd turned to take his leave, he saw Harry lead her to the couch and lay her down upon it, and then the couple disappeared from view. Gods, how he envied them -- being young and so much in love. He had been infatuated many times, but he had never truly loved anyone, romantically speaking. But if the feelings he was harbouring for the boy were any indication, that could change.

It was very late, around two a.m., when Harry had joined him in Fred and George's old room, which they were sharing. He had been just about asleep when the door had creaked open, and Harry had slipped in. Harry had removed all clothing but his boxers, and Sirius was unable to help noting that the boy was quite aroused from his time with the girl he loved. Had they actually shagged? Somehow, Sirius doubted it. If that had been the case, Harry wouldn't be in his present condition ... but how could he bring up the subject delicately without embarrassing him?

He pretended to be asleep as Harry got into bed but listened as the boy tossed and turned, softly moaning, seemingly unable to relax, no matter what he did. Finally he opened his eyes a crack when he heard the boy mutter, "Bugger this! I've got to do something about it--and right now!" There was a soft rustle as the covers were thrown back and Harry removed his boxers, then took his arousal into his hands. In the moonlight Sirius was stunned at the size of it -- not even James had been that large. Nor was he, much less Remus.

In spite of himself, Sirius felt himself becoming aroused at the moans coming from the adjoining bed and the movements of Harry's hands. But most of all, he listened to the plaintive sound of the boy's voice, laced with love and unfulfilled desire. "Oh ... Ginny ... Ginny ... how I wish you were here doing this to me, loving me ... I love you, I need you ..."

"Harry? Mate, are you all right?" Sirius called out sleepily. "You called out something."

"Sirius?" Harry called out. "Sorry to wake you. I ... can't sleep, but I'll be all right. Don't worry."

"I'm your godfather. If you need help, feel free to ask."

"I'm fine," Harry insisted. "Go back to sleep."

"I can't sleep until I know you're all right. And despite what you say, you're not all right. I've heard you moaning and thrashing about in your sleep."

"Padfoot, I need Ginny," Harry finally said. "What's more, I think--no, I know--I love her. But how can I ask her to be my girlfriend again?"

"I think the real question is, how can you not? You'll drive yourself spare if you keep this up!"

Harry was struck silent for a while. Then he said, "Then you think I should do it?"

"Definitely ... if only for your own sake."

"But I don't want to use her just for my own satisfaction," Harry protested.

"Of course you don't. But you've been denied so much. Don't deny yourself the chance to express your feelings for Ginny and allow her to express hers for you. Even if it doesn't last, at least you'll have beautiful memories, and they can help a lot in getting you through rough times, especially if you meet again and renew your romance later on."

"You ... know how Ginny and I feel about each other?"

"Of course," Sirius assured him. "I was young once too, you know. I understand exactly what you're going through. It happens to every young man sooner or later."

"That's fine, as far as it goes ... but what about now?"

"What about now?"

"I can't sleep like this. I'm so ... hard I hurt. I've got to have some relief."

"I think I know a way to help you, but you've got to trust me and not tell anyone."

"What do you mean?" Harry had to ask.

"It's hard to explain. Just trust me." After an uncomfortable silence, Sirius spoke again. "You do trust me, don't you?"

"Of ... of course I do. It's just that--"

"Harry." Sirius's tone was soft but insistent. "Do you want my help or not?"

"Yes, I do," came the soft, urgent reply.

"Then scoot over a bit and give me a minute to get there."

A moment later Harry felt Sirius seat himself on the side of the bed; it was too dark for the boy to see his godfather's eyes or the look in them. If he had, he might have taken back his agreement. As it was, he was too desperate for relief to refuse. Harry gasped softly when Sirius's warm, gentle, slightly rough hands enveloped his highly sensitive arousal between them.

"May I ask you a question, Padfoot?"

"I suppose so. What is it?"

"Did you ever do this for Dad? That is, before he married Mum?"

"Many times," Sirius confessed. "Many blokes do that for their friends. But don't worry, that's all your father and I ever were -- close friends and brothers. Remember how difficult your Mum was for him to convince. He needed ... relief now and again, especially when she was being particularly stubborn about going out with him. I was more than happy to help him."

"Did he ... ever do it for you? How about Remus?"

"Of course. As for Remus, I couldn't say what he did on that score. He tends to keep things like that to himself. But now it's time to take care of you, mate. Just lie back and relax ..."

And because Harry loved and trusted Sirius, he did so. After a time, Sirius's ministrations--however gentle--became almost unbearable, and Harry knew he wasn't far from climaxing. But the older man's talented fingers continued to stroke and massage his godson's aching, throbbing balls, then his extraordinarily hard and sensitive shaft. It was shortly after Harry felt the stroking around the head of his penis that he knew he could hold back no longer.

"Oh, God, oh, God ... Sirius ..." he moaned. "I ... feel it coming. I ... can't wait much longer ..."

"Don't try to hold back. The whole object of this is to get you some relief so you can sleep. Let yourself go." After a few moments, Harry did just that--mainly because he was unable to stop himself ... and the relief was so great he almost cried. Upon finishing, he finally laid back on his pillow, totally enervated, then found Sirius's nearest hand and squeezed it gratefully. Behind Harry's back, Sirius performed a nonverbal Cleaning Charm on the bedsheet to eradicate the evidence of the boy's release.

"Thank you, Sirius. I needed that."

"My pleasure. And as I said, feel free to ask if you need such help again and I'm nearby."

"I'll keep it in mind. Meanwhile, we'd better get back to bed and get some sleep. Remember how Molly is if she has to shout to everyone to come to breakfast."

Sirius smiled and then laughed softly. "Do I ever! Good night. Sleep well." He ruffled Harry's hair affectionately despite his strong desire to kiss the boy good night--and not chastely, either. He had had been fighting off an almost irresistible desire to take the boy's arousal into his mouth and bring him off orally. He and James had never done that. The most either had ever done to each other were hand jobs. What was making him have such unconscionable feelings now? Sirius could only surmise that it was the addition of Lily's genes that did the trick ... or at least it was the only thing he could think of at the moment.

"Good night, Sirius. Thanks again." Harry smiled, then pulled the blankets over himself, turned over and fell asleep almost immediately.

Sirius returned the smile, then returned to his own bed--but this time, he was the one who lay awake, tossing and turning, his mind filled with tantalising (albeit extremely disturbing) images of all he wanted to do to Harry. But now was not the time to confess those feelings to the boy; he had enough to deal with. Best to discuss it with Moony first and get his thoughts on the matter before taking any action one way or the other.