The Magical Maiden

Harry pulled the crumpled directions out of his pocket once again and slapped his forehead right where his infamous scar was. Blast it! Why had he been so stupid? He never should have trusted a love potion that he had got from Gilderoy Lockheart. Of course something would go wrong. Murphy’s Law seemed to be especially affectionate towards the former Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

    It had started off when Harry was quite desperate to grasp a hold of the attention of a one Miss Cho Chang. After many stupid stunts, he finally decided to resort to magic to grab her attention. And so he sent an owl to the one person he knew would have a love potion handy, and that was Gilderoy Lockheart. Lockheart had complied, and soon Harry was holding in his hands the one thing that may actually enable him to have Cho Chang’s heart. But things had become quite sticky when the elusive Mary Sue waltzed into Hogwarts. This time, she was young and had blonde hair. To make a long story short, Mary Sue’s cup had been accidentally switched with Cho Chang’s cup, which had the love potion in it. And so, Mary Sue fell madly in love and in lust with Harry Potter, and would not leave him alone. And so, Harry had made yet another attempt to secretly get Cho Chang to drink the love potion. His second attempt was quite successful, as Cho Chang fell long and hard for Harry. The short period in which she loved him had been great, but it was just that, short. For of course Mary Sue was still in love with Harry, and saw Cho Chang as competition. This eventually lead to a show-down in the Great Hall and the end result were the unfortunate deaths of both Mary Sue and Cho Chang. They had thrown so many curses at each other that their guts and innards were spewed all over the Hall. Harry felt so awful about it that he went and turned himself into Dumbledore.

    “Now, Harry, don’t blame yourself,” an understanding Dumbledore had comforted him. But then two seconds later, the glint went out in the Headmaster’s eyes, and he looked very grave as he turned around and cried, “What am I saying?? This is all your own doing. Your detention will be to clean their body parts out of the Great Hall.” Then Dumbledore looked up at Ron and Hermione, who were standing there as well and said, “And you two get to help him.”

    “Us??” Ron protested. “But we didn’t have anything to do with this!”

    “You always do everything Harry does,” Dumbledore replied piously. “Therefore, you will help him in detention.”

    And that is how the three of them found themselves cleaning up the Great Hall that evening. Ron was glaring at Harry, and Hermione was talking about how she had other stuff she needed to be doing.

    Harry picked up a red round organ that once belonged to Cho Chang. “Now I really do hold her heart in my hands,” he said miserably.

    “Save it,” Ron said.

    “Yes, you can donate it to a hospital for an organ transplant,” Hermione said logically.

    “Donate it heck! I’m gonna keep this in a jar and put it on my shelf, like a trophy,” Harry said.

    Hermione was about to protest when she was suddenly interrupted by a familiar tickling sensation on her belly. She dropped her bucket, containing the fingers of Mary Sue, and cried, “Ohhhh! I just thought of something for my Arithmancy project!”

    With that, she began to race out of the Hall. “Wait!” Ron called after her. “Where are you going?”

    “To the library!” she called over her shoulder.

    “Typical,” Ron mumbled.

    Hermione raced through the corridors and eventually arrived in the library. She tiptoed to her special corner and looked around to make sure that there was no one watching. Then she pulled a certain book out of the shelf. But this was not any book. All of a sudden, the bookshelf swung inwards, like it was a door on hinges, revealing a narrow staircase behind it. Hermione ducked down the stairs, closing the bookshelf behind her, and descended into her own personal Chamber of Secrets.

    The stairs lead down to a secret passage, which lead to a secret underground cave that was located just inside the forbidden forest. The cave looked more like another common room than a product of nature. Crookshanks was already there, standing attentively by the fireplace.

    “What’s happening, Crookshanks?” Hermione asked breathlessly.

    “Meow, meow, meow,” Crookshanks replied. Hermione was a feline-tongue, much in the same way that Harry was a parsel-tounge.

    “What’s that? A giant Praying Mantis is attacking Muggle London?” Hermione’s big brown eyes narrowed into a glare. “This could mean that only one person is behind this. Only one person is that obsessed with insects. That one person has got to be my arch-nemesis- Rita Skeeter!”

    “Meow, meow, meow,” Crookshanks said.

    “That’s right, Crookshanks! We must leave right away! Quick, get ready! To the Magic Mobile!” Hermione answered.

    Hermione took out her wand and tapped her head and said, “Alter ego, disguise!” All of a sudden, her black robes were replaced with a leotard, cape, gloves, go-go boots and an eye mask, all colored pink. On the front of the leotard and the back of the cape were the large letters, “MM” to stand for her crime-fighting alter-ego, the Magic Maiden. In addition, her poofy hair was now slicked back until it was completely straight. Crookshanks donned a similar outfit, only it was orange and black. Hermione, excuse me, the Magic Maiden, felt the top of her belly for her “MM” tattoo, and pressed it. The Death Eaters had a good idea, she decided, when they tattooed a dark mark on them to call them to the scene of the crime. Well, her tattoo called her to fight crime. Crookshanks spent all day on the look-out for dastardly crimes, and when he found one, he pressed his own “MM” tattoo, causing Hermione to feel a tickling sensation just above her belly-button. This was his way of calling her down to the Chamber of Secrets.

    Right then, Hermione pressed her MM tattoo to summon their vehicle, the “Magic Mobile”. All of a sudden, the Weasley’s old Ford Anglia came roaring into the cave. Hermione and Crookshanks jumped into it. “To London, Magic Mobile!” Hermione commanded, and it roared off into the sky.

    “Theme Music Activate!” Hermione commanded, and from the car radio came the rapid guitar rhythm that herald her going to a crime scene (not unlike the batman theme song). Hermione had equipped the Anglia since she had first tamed it out in the forest two years ago. It could turn also invisible and apparate, in addition to playing her theme song.

    A split second later, the Anglia landed on top of a flatroof apartment in downtown London. In the distance, they could see mayhem being spread by a giant praying mantis that was spewing fire out of its mouth. On top of the bug sat a cackling witch- Rita Skeeter. Hermione and Crookshanks jumped out of the car, and both mounted their brooms. They flew directly in front of the madwoman and her monster, and challenged her.

    “Cease this at once, you vile fiend!” Hermione said, pointing her wand at Skeeter.

    “Never!” she cried. “You won’t stop me this time, Magic Maiden!”

    So Hermione decided to reason with her. “Why are you doing this? You have no reason to spread such mayhem-”

    “Fool!” Rita Skeeter snarled. “It’s in my nature to spread discord and mischief. I used to do so when I was a reporter for the Daily Prophet. But since I lost my job, I have to find some other outlet for my hunger for destruction. Praying Mantis, fire attack the Magic Maiden!!”

    But Hermione was too quick, and chanted an anti-burning spell around her and Crookshanks. Then Crookshanks flew right up to Rita Skeeter and performed a claw attack on Rita Skeeter’s head to distract the villainess while Hermione focused on battling the Praying Mantis.

    “I’ll destroy your monster using the Bug Repellent Spell!” Hermione cried.

    “NO!!!!!!!” Rita Skeeter shrieked, but it was too late. A steady stream of thick purple smoke emitted from Hermione’s wand. Soon, the praying mantis began to shrink, until it completely disappeared. Then Rita Skeeter and Hermione engaged in a wand duel, which ended in Rita Skeeter being encoiled in ropes.

    “Now I’m turning you into the authorities,” The Magic Maiden said to her defeated foe.

    Rita Skeeter cackled. “You may have defeated me this time, Magic Maiden, but I will be back!”

    With that, Rita Skeeter rolled over onto the ground and touched a trash can with the side of her face. The trash can was actually a portkey, and it enabled Rita Skeeter to disappear. Crookshanks and the Magic Maiden dove after the villainess, but it was too late. Hermione sighed. “We’ll get her some other time, Mini Kitty Tiger,” she said.

    “Meee-ow,” Crookshanks replied.

    All of a sudden, the streets were cluttered with cheering Londoners.

    “Thank-you, Magic Maiden!” they called to her as she lifted up on her broom and flew towards the Anglia.

    The papers printed a special edition that read, “London saved by Magic Maiden.” And that night on the evening news, the reporter gleefully announced, “Once again, the day is saved, thanks to the mysterious super-hero known as the Magic Maiden, and her Mini Kitty Tiger!”

    Hermione arrived at Hogwarts just in time for the library to close, so that she was able to come out making it look as though she had been at there the whole time. She magically stole some homework out of someone else’s bag to make it look like she had done all that work. Then she went back to Gryffindor common room, where Harry and Ron were.

    “Did you hear about the Magic Maiden?” Ron asked her as she came in. “Man! I wish I could meet her! I’ll bet she’s a hottie under that mask!”

    Hermione just looked down at Crookshanks and winked.

....More to come.....