What's A DIT??

The Death Eaters stood in silence for a few moments.

"MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!" they all laughed evilly. This continued for a few more minutes.

"Let's apparate Potter to Master," said Draco, panting slightly form so much laughing.

"How many times do I have to tell you? You can't apparate OR disapparate on Hogwarts grounds!" came an exasperated voice from the door.

"Hermione!" everyone moaned.

"Well, you can't!"

"Do YOU know how to apparate, Granger?" Draco asked.

"Well, of course not, Malfoy!" she snapped. "You don't learn how until after we graduate!"

"Tell that to Draco," Ginny grumbled.

"Oh my God! They killed Harry! Bastards!" Hermione finally noticed.

"10 points to Gryffindor," Draco and Snape said in unison.

"Yes, the Hairy Pothead has finally been conquered," said Ron.

"Ron--," she was cut off by the ropes flying at her and coiling themselves around her body, save her neck and face, by Snape.

"Hush, child," he said. Then Snape started searching Harry's pockets.

"Eureka!" he shouted. "2 sickles, and 5 knuts!" An old movie suddenly came to Hermione's mind.

"After all your posture, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief," she recited.

Snape then ran over and brought his face close to hers. "I am an exceptional thief, Ms. Granger, and since I've just moved up to kidnapping, you should be more polite!" he snarled. "You're not the only one who watches Alan Rickman movies, sweetie," he smirked. "I DO look like him, don't I? Or at least, so I've been told."

"He's HOT!" yelled Ginny.

"But he's so OLD!" Ron complained.

"He's not old, daling, he's mature," said Draco. Hermione started laughing. No one else did though.

"C'mon, Chowder!" Snape shouted at Lucius. "We have a schedule to stick to!"

"Oh," said Lucius and picked Harry up of the floor. "Let's go!" Everyone else followed him down the stairs.

"Hold on, Lulu!" Snape called.

"ACH!" Draco screamed and regurgitated out the window.

"Just getting you back for that 'Severs' comment." Draco had just finished barfing his lungs out, when Ron ran past him and took up where he left off. Snape ignored the two boys, and threw Harry's forgotten invisibility cloak over Lucius who was carrying Harry. Snape and the children stayed uncovered.

While they were walking past where Trelawney lived, they heard her shriek, "I have SEEN our deaths! The painted man. He haunts my dreams!"

Snape mock gasped. "Locksley's companion!" They heard Trelawney scream again, "KILL THEM!" Draco sighed.

"Another Rickmaniac!" They saw Professor McGonagall up ahead.

"Severus!" Snape mentally sighed. At least she didn't call him Severs. "What are you DOING?"

"Uh...Well..."

"Let me guess," McGonagall smiled (A strange site indeed!). "Lucius Malfoy is under an invisibility cloak, and he's carrying Harry Potter, who's just been killed by all of you except for Ms. Granger, who only came to inform you that you can't apparate on Hogwarts grounds, and now you're all heading off the grounds where you CAN, to bring Potter to You-Know-Who."

"Wow, Minerva!" said Snape breathlessly. "You didn't stop ONCE to take a breath! What do you do, practice articulating in front of a mirror?"

"I'm not articulating," she contradicted.

"You are too," he smirked. "But your theory, now where would you EVER get and idea like that!" She shrugged.

"The truth is, I found these children up in the Astronomy Tower, playing tonsil hockey." All the kids gasped then glared at their potions professor.

"Weasley and Malfoy, Granger and Malfoy, or Weasley and Granger?" McGonagall nosed.

"Weasley and Malfoy," Snape smirked.

McGonagall blanched. "Ron was snogging Draco?!"

"ACK!" Snape yelped as McGonagall fainted. Draco repeatedly banged his head against the wall (much like Gumlick). Ron threw up again. This time there was no window.

By the time they arrived at the end of the Hogwarts Grounds, they found Lucius using the cloak as a blanket, dead!Harry as a pillow, and his teddy bear as...well...a teddy. ^^;; They woke Lucius up, then apparated off, Snape holding Hermione.

"What the--LUCIUS! What are you--do you know what TIME it is?!" Voldie screeched at them. One of the cucumber slices covering his eyes fell to the ground. Then Voldie spotted Harry, and clapped his hands together gleefully like a child (I think I already used this phrase, but w/e. I'm sure I stole it from someone, but don't know who).

"You shall be greatly rewarded!"

"Uh...Master?" asked Ron.

"Whadda ya want?"

"What about the mudblood?" Hermione humphed.

"Send her back."

"Granger!" called Draco. "Catch!" He tossed her an animal cracker.

"Yum yum!" she jumped for it and felt the jerk behind her navel.

*story screeches to a halt*

Voice in Gumlick's Head: Why didn't you obliviate her?!

Gumlick: *smacks herself on the head* DUR!

*Rewinding Story*

*story starts again*

"OBLIVIATE!" Draco shouted THEN threw her the animal cracker. It hit her dumbly on the head, but that must have been efficient enough, because she disappeared a second later. The five Death Eaters plus their evil overlord cackled evilly for the umpteenth time in my sad little story.

~fin~