A Chance You Only Get Once

Chapter Seventeen
Back to Normal?

"What did you come back for this time?" Petunia asked coldly when she saw Lily and James standing outside the door to the house. They had rung the doorbell. Years ago, Lily would have just walked in. Years ago, she would have had a key even if the door was locked. If she lost it or the locks were changed while she was away, she would have been yelling for them to let her in by the time that they arrived. Now she rang the doorbell and waited calmly outside, like a guest.

"I - well, I just wanted to see you..," Lily said uncertainly as she stared down her sister. "Can we come in, Pet?"

"I'm not a cat or a rat or an owl," Petunia snapped. "I'm not an animal, unlike your precious little husband," Petunia added as if James Potter were not standing there. He only smirked at her, smiling benignly. Lily, at least, looked hurt by her tone. "And Vernon's coming over soon." Petunia knew how bitter she sounded.

"Can we come in, Petunia?" Lily asked, obviously pained by the awkwardness of being forced to wait outside. Petunia noticed that James had his arm around Lily supportively. She doesn't need comfort in her own home, you idiot! Petunia wanted to scream at him, mostly because it wasn't true. This wasn't Lily's home, and it was in fact so hostile to her now that she probably did need James Potter's support.

"This was your house once, if you remember," Petunia said coldly as she opened the door wider and stepped out of their way. "Do what you like." Lily and James walked wordlessly over the threshold and into the house. Many of the subtle decorating touches resembled the house that Lily had built for her and James. Lily Potter. So it was official at last, Lily wasn't part of the Evans family anymore.

Petunia knew that most of her anger with Lily was irrational, but there were real grievances. Sure, she herself had told her to stay away, but since when did Lily listen to her? And Petunia hadn't told her to never come back...

"Honey," Lily said quietly. Both James and Petunia turned, Petunia about to fire at her that she didn't want Lily calling her the old pet names anymore. Then her sister realized that Lily had been addressing her husband. He looked at her as if she were his whole world. Petunia felt even more jealous of her sister. Vernon sometimes looked at her in an almost as adoring way, but it was something entirely different for a man like James Potter to look at an Evans girl that way. "Why don't you go talk to my dad for awhile?" Her husband looked momentarily apprehensive, but his wife laughed gaily, "That was an accident, James, I'm sure it won't happen again." He smiled widely and kissed her on the forehead.

Lily turned back to her sister as James left the room in search of their father, both of them oblivious to the new level of jealousy that Petunia felt. "So it's still Vernon, is it?" Lily said in the detached, strong voice that Petunia hated, like she couldn't afford to show any weakness. She had been cultivating that over the past few years. She was very good at it now. She sounded fearsome to Petunia.

"Don't say it like that, he's a good man," Petunia said despite the fact that she had been thinking about breaking up with Vernon soon. She didn't have her sister's fabulous hair or gorgeous eyes, but Petunia could probably still do much better than Vernon Dursley.

"Oh, Pet, you could do so much better than that oaf," Lily sighed, dropping her shoulders, an action that didn't quite ruin her proud, strong stance. Despite the fact that she had just thought it herself, when Lily said it Petunia was offended and violently disagreed.

"Like your little freak boy, Lils?" Petunia asked derisively. She hated that nickname that everyone seemed to call her now. Everyone from her husband to his little freak friends were doing that now. It used to be only Petunia and Marissa who could get away with that. Then Marissa had died and left Lily scarred and vulnerable and somehow, suddenly beyond Petunia's reach forever. Lily stiffened at the insult to James, and Petunia could even see her hand moving toward her pocket where her wand was undoubtedly concealed just within reach, but she calmed. Lily Potter looked very fearsome in that moment, even to Petunia Evans who had known her all her life and had nothing to fear from her.

"Petunia, he's just not worthy of you," Lily said with a sigh. "And you know he never will be. It's not that he's not a good person," although from Lily's tone, she certainly didn't think he was. "It's just that he's not special enough to deserve you-"

"Is that what you came over here to say, Lily? Swooping in on your white horse, or rather broomstick, to save the day? Rescue me from a fate worse than death?" Petunia said angrily, mostly because she didn't think that it was true. She didn't believe that Lily cared enough about her to save her. Not anymore.

"I came to see you, Petunia," Lily tried, regrouping. "But I do think that you're making a terrible mistake-"

"Oh, save it, Lily," Petunia snapped. "I don't want your advice."

Lily looked very sad. "Will things ever be back to normal between us? Can we ever get back to the way were?"

"Wake up, Lily, this is normal," Petunia replied impatiently. "The old way is gone. This is a normal confrontation for us now. Welcome to the new normal. You can't go back."

"Do you ever wish we could?" Lily asked wistfully, looking up and away from Petunia as if asking someone else the question she directed at her sister.

"I don't care anymore," Petunia answered although she did. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go get ready to go out with my normal boyfriend." Petunia started to make her way towards the stairs, rather pleased with her dramatic exit and unaware of the similarity to the ones that Lily had often made at her age.

"Don't you think that you deserve more than normal, Petunia?" Lily asked quietly just as she reached them. "Don't you deserve something better? Something extraordinary?" She smiled at her sister when she saw her start to turn around, "You are, after all, an Evans."

"But you're the sister with all the freakishness," Petunia said coldly. "You're the witch, you're the genius, you're the redhead," she said bitterly. "You may think you're so special, but I know the truth. I deserve more than normal? Wake up, Lily. I am normal." With that, she turned and walked back up the stairs, determined not to stop again. She was a petulant teenager and knew it, but she didn't care. She didn't want to talk to Lily on her high horse anymore.

"You're too good for Vernon Dursley!" Lily cried after her when she was halfway up it, her voice dripping with disapproval and contempt for the man who had been Petunia's boyfriend longer than Lily had been dating the man who was now her husband.

"He's better than you!" she screamed down at her sister, not turning or even pausing in her retreat up the stairs.

Lily and James left a little later just as Vernon arrived. Seeing from atop the stairs how Lily's eyes went cold when she shook his hand as unwillingly as he, in turn, shook hers, Petunia practically sprinted down the stairs (in heels), walked over to Vernon Dursley, and immediately began kissing him deeply. She was pleased to see her sister look away in distaste before she closed her eyes.

"Let's get out of here," she said in her sexiest voice when the kiss ended, looking at Lily with a queer smile as she pulled Vernon past them out the door. Lily and James were both gone in two tremendous cracks before Vernon even opened the car door.

That night, Petunia Evans kissed Vernon Dursley with all the anger and bitterness and jealousy that nearly tore her apart, and she didn't stop at kissing. That night, Petunia Evans slept with Vernon Dursley for the first time, and with every move she was screaming defiance at her sister. That night, Dudley Dursley was conceived. Technically speaking, he was what was called a "lovechild," but he was conceived in hatred and revenge rather than love.

They married the moment that she found out and moved away from London where people knew their names and ages, where they knew the reasons for the hasty wedding. Lily and James did not attend. Remus Lupin, that sad friend who seemed to be growing more and more distant from them, explained that they were in hiding and that he was recording the event for them. They did not see a video camera so assumed it was a lie.

They moved to Little Whinging, Surrey where they could get away with lying about their age because they looked older than they were. Vernon got a job at a drill factory and with the money from their parents they could afford a small house at Number Four Privet Drive. That was where their son was born.

Petunia immediately began ingratiating herself with the neighborhood gossips, ready to spot any line of curiosity that could lead to their secret. She sniffed out others so doggedly that her own was never suspected. When an orphan boy was dumped on her doorstep, it was thought that that was her only piece of dirty laundry. That was enough to get them off of her trail forever.

Petunia worked so hard at covering their tracks and trying to make their marriage and son look perfectly normal that it took several years for it to occur to her that she had what she had always feared from the moment that she watched her sister step onto the Hogwarts Express knowing that she would never be able to share in that world: a normal life. By then, it was too late.

* * *

Peter, James and Sirius all went home with the Potters. Remus flooed home from the Leaky Cauldron. The Evanses dropped Marissa off at home when the crisis was finally over at the hospital. The rest of the summer was surprisingly merciful and almost frighteningly quiet. It hung thickly in every household, though in the Lupin Castle it was hardly a new pain, and seemed to poison the atmosphere with reminders.

On the last day in August, Marissa had had enough of the viscious silence in her house. Mundungus had felt it and grown as quiet as he had been before her father had started making an effort with him. When Mundungus finally went to bed, Marissa, walked into the sitting room and shut the doors. "You're withdrawing again," she said simply.

Mr Fletcher shifted his paper slightly but did not look at her. "I'm not having this conversation," he said simply.

"Good," Marissa replied immediately. "But I am and you're going to listen," she said firmly, crossing her hands over her chest. Mr Fletcher did not even look up. Marissa did not wait for him to show that he was paying attention. "Is this all that your promise is worth then?" she asked almost mildly, "Because I must tell you, if this is it then I'm terribly disappointed."

"You are in a position to judge me now?" he said it mildly, but it was a mighty rebuke. It stung her so much that she fell silent for a long moment.

"As much as you may want to make this about me and what I did, this is about you," Marissa said, parroting his words from the conversation that felt like so long ago. "It doesn't matter if I'm a hypocrite for using this argument, that doesn't make it untrue," Marissa went on. "You're drawing away from me. I don't like it, but in a way I understand. But drawing away from Gus? Just when he might need you most? You promised me that you would never do that again."

"Promised you?" he demanded. "And did you make no promise?"

"Don't do this. You can't make this about me. This is about Gus! He did nothing to deserve this from you!"

"Deserve what? Have I yelled at him? Shouted? Raised my voice? Abused him?" Mr Fletcher demanded mildly, still hiding behind his paper. "In fact, have I done anything to him at all?"

"Exactly!" Marissa shouted at him. "You've done nothing to Gus. For years you've been doing nothing to Gus! Do you really think that it was the angry words, however well- or undeserved, that did the damage? No, it was the neglect! It was you doing nothing to him!"

"And to you?" he asked. "If I had done more for you, would you have still chosen that school over us?"

Marissa regarded him coldly. "There has been nothing for me here for many long years," she said in a quiet voice. "And you're arranging it so that there will be nothing here for Gus either. Do you want to lose him too?"

"What do you think I'm going to do to him?"

"Just what you've been doing! Going to work until all hours of the night, not talking or playing with him even when you are home," Marissa continued. "I think you're going to ignore him in favor of a cold job that - "

"Won't bring you peace of grandchildren in your old age," Jerome Fletcher finished for her although that was not what she had been about to say. He snapped his paper aside momentarily to shout, "I'm not having this discussion with you again, Livy!" then returned to it.

Marissa was taken completely aback. Her mother's name. He had called her by her mother's name. She stared at him for a long moment. "Yes, Marissa, I know what I said," he said a moment later, still hiding behind the newspaper.

Why was still a mystery. Had he been reliving an old argument in which she was acting out her mother's part? Had he just forgotten himself? Was it because she was filling her mother's role in the house? Or was it because Jerome Fletcher knew that he stood to lose her, just as he had lost Livy, and so they had become one in his mind? Marissa didn't know what to think or say, so she walked to the door, opened it, and closed it behind her.

Livy Fletcher had made a decision that saved Mundungus and destroyed her family. Marissa had made a decision that saved herself and stood to destroy her father. Like mother, like daughter after all. Except that Marissa was selfish where Livy had been selfless.

Marissa was halfway up the stairs when she turned and walked back to the Living Room. Her father hadn't moved even slightly since she had left. She closed the door behind her and merely stood in front of him for a long moment, regarding the man she barely knew but could now understand a little better. It was the shadow that she felt now which had shrouded his entire life ever since the death of his wife. This grief that kept his heart restricted for a decade. She had turned away from him because he had not born it well, but was she doing any better a job of stumbling around in the dark?

"I'm sorry," she said softly. Jerome Fletcher finally put his paper down. "I was wrong. I've been wrong all these years."

"No, you haven't," her father whispered, looking her in the eye steadily. "And even if you had been, that's my fault too. I didn't let you know me for so many crucial years."

"I didn't try even when you did," Marissa replied. She walked over and sat down in Livy Fletcher's matching armchair. She placed her hand lightly the arm of it reflectively. "Did she sit like this?"

"Almost exactly," her father answered in a voice a little tight with surpressed emotions. Was his grief still so fresh after all these years?

"I need you to be there for Gus when I leave tomorrow," Marissa said softly, still looking down at the arm of the chair and playing idly with a loose thread. "I know that we'd both love to forget our last fight. You because of the horrible things that I said and me because I said them, but you were the one who was right. I should have listened to you, perhaps."

"Marissa - " he started to interrupt her.

"I am being selfish," she continued, then finally looked up at him. "That's why I need you to be Gus's father. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I'm not her. You need to be the one who's strong for this family now. I can't bear the weight anymore. You need to be the one that Gus needs, because a time is coming soon when he won't be able to have me."

"We'll always need you," he replied.

"And we'll always need her," Marissa said. "But this time our family needs to survive the loss. Only you can do that for Gus this time. Start now. Get ready to catch him now."

"You trust me with this?" her father asked, sounding surprised.

"Yes," Marissa answered simply.

* * *

The train station was always madness on September first. What the Muggles thought of it none of them could guess, but it was impossible that they didn't notice the hundreds of people with heavy trunks and screeching owls who were there one minute and gone the next. It was pure arrogance that wizards thought that they were fooling the Muggles. On normal days, Platform Nine and Three-Quarters certainly would not attract notice no matter how heavily it was trafficked.

But when you bring hundreds of students with fluttering, nervous parents to stand between Platforms Nine and Ten without showing the slightest inclination to enter either train, owls screeching their impatience to be away from gawking Muggle kids who were begging their parents for an owl of their own, and the abrupt disappearance of whole groups at a time, it was a miracle that no one had caught on to them long before.

Lily always made a point of searching out the baffled new Muggleborns and their bewildered parents and telling them how to get onto the platform. She and Marissa used to do it together, but prefect duties had taken most of Marissa's attention on September first the past two years. Now, Marissa was arriving with her perpetually silent father and her perpetually excited little brother who was flitting about his vaguelly relieved looking sister. Lily waved and smiled at her, and Marissa face lit up immediately.

Marissa waved, then turned and caught Mundungus by the shoulders. She turned him around and hugged him tightly, bending just enough so that she was looking him in the eye as she whispered her goodbye to him. Lily watched as she spoke to him for a long moment, then stood to face her father.

There was something different about their exchange. The perfuctionary hug that they had always shared was always awkward, but there was something new there and something else missing. Then Lily realized. They were looking each other in the eye. That was the something new. And always before, Marissa had kept one hand on Mundungus's shoulder whenever she was talking to her father, as if protecting him or using him as a bridge to reach her father, Lily could never decide which.

It had been an unconscious action, but that was just what made it so unbelievable that it would disappear. As always, there was the tight smile that Marissa attempted before turning to give her little brother one last hug, the smile becoming genuine the moment that she turned to Mundungus. But now it didn't. Not quite. She was still ever so slightly tense and upset, even with Gus.

Not that Lily was in a position to judge another family's goodbye; not with the cold farewell that Petunia had offered and the deadened look in her father's eyes throughout the entire scene. He had at least tried, but Lily could understand his lack of focus. She doubted that she had been bright-eyed herself.

Lily sighed and showed the Creggies how to enter Platform Nine and Three Quarters, and this time she followed them through herself. Marissa joined her a moment later, dragging her heavy trunk behind her, for the first time in Lily's memory looking as if it was an effort for her to do so. In fact, it almost looked for a moment like it was an effort just to walk.

Then her smile lit her face, the twinkle reappeared in her eye, and Marissa was back. She walked slowly over, but she immediately gave Lily a tight hug the instant that she dropped the trunk behind her. Lily returned it, smiling herself. "So?" Marissa asked. Lily must have looked confused, though she thought that she had a pretty good idea what Marissa meant, because she continued, "O.W.L. scores? Spit it out already!"

"Could you start with 'how was your summer' at least?" Lily said in slight annoyance. Then Lily realized just what a stupid thing she had said. The last thing that Lily, or really any of the Gryffindor sixth years, wanted to think about all over again was what had been happening over the summer.

"Your scores, Lils," Marissa demanded imperiously, ignoring her comment. Lily wondered if it was because she realized how embarassed Lily was by the magnitude of her blunder or if Marissa would have ignored her attempt to stall no matter what she would have said. It could be both, and probably was with Riss.

"Fine," Lily said with a sigh. "I got twelve." She had said it deadpan, but the instant that she got it out, a grin broke out on her face. Marissa gave a whoop and hugged her again.

"Twelve! That's incredible, Lils!" she cried, then she turned to the rest of the platform. She stood on her trunk and declared, "Everyone! Everyone!" And because it was Marissa Fletcher, a great deal of people turned to see what she was up to now. It was safer that way. "My good friend, Lily Evans, has received twelve O.W.L.s," she declared loudly.

"Marissa!" Lily cried, scandalized.

"If you're not going to proclaim it loudly and proudly, Lils, then I am," she said, not sparing a glance for her best friend. "May we have a round of applause for her?" she asked the crowd gathered. Several people did. Lily was Gryffindor red when Marissa finally climbed down from atop her trunk, smirking.

"Riss, I'm going to kill you," Lily hissed at her.

"No you're not, you're in far too good a mood about your perfect scores," Marissa told her impudently. Then the smile faded ever so slightly. Lily felt her own weaken as well. The events of the summer could not be ignored for long, even with Marissa's usual tactics going full force.

"Well, one thing's for sure," Remus Lupin said, coming up from behind Marissa. "You're always easy to find in a crowd," he smiled at Marissa, but she was slightly hesitant to smile back. Remus cleared his throat. "May we take your trunks for you, miladies?" Then Marissa's smile grew larger.

"I guess we'd better hurry if we want to get settled," Marissa replied. "We've got to get to the Prefects Compartment to see who our illustrious Head Boy and Girl are going to be this year."

"I've been hearing some really odd rumors about the Heads this year," Lily said by way of warning as the Marauders began to hoist the trunks into the train then into the compartment where they had already stored their own. Once there, they levitated them up onto the storage racks. They all remembered all too clearly Lily's lecture about wasted effort from a few years ago, and from the look in her eyes, she was in the mood to repeat it if given the opportunity.

Marissa, however, had been stopped just as she was taking the handle to lift herself into the Hogwarts Express. "Fletcher!" a voice she recognized but hadn't expected called out. She turned obligingly and stepped down to greet him.

He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't quite glowering either. For him, it was vast improvement. "Hello, Severus," she said politely. "I suppose you want your book back?"

Snape was very grateful for the excuse to talk to her. He hadn't quite figured out what the hell he was doing over here anyway. "That would be appreciated," he said in a tight voice. "I have yours."

"Hardly mine," Marissa laughed. Snape's confusion must have shown at least somewhat on his face. "I nicked it from Lils, she's probably been going crazy all summer trying to find it. If nothing else, when she was packing," Marissa said with that blessed laugh in her voice. Blessed? What the devil was happening to him lately? Marissa Fletcher was still a no account, meddling, idiotic Mudblood, right? Right.

Right. Snape latched on to the negative aspect of her confession, "You let your supposed best friend worry all summer?" he demanded. Was this the Golden Girl of Gryffindor? Snape hardly thought so. Yet even as he was calling her these names, he realized his mistake. Now Marissa wasn't the Golden Girl of Gryffindor to him, and she was therefore no longer repulsive to him. He had just eliminated his last defense mechanism for combating whatever this affection for her was. Snape cursed fluently but silently out of respect for her. That only made him want to curse more.

"Lily makes it far too easy," Marissa said with a shrug. "Besides, it was something to take her mind off the rest of it this summer." Snape didn't know what to think of her opening up to him like this. Of course, she did it with everybody. He wasn't confused by her intentions, he just wasn't used to the way she was treating him. He couldn't remember anyone ever doing that to him. For years he had blamed it on the subtle games and stratems and stolen secrets of Slytherin, but he knew, deep down, what logic dictated. If there were secrets, there were also people that trusted others enough to share those secrets, and not all of them could be for their political agenda. The fact that no one had ever shared any of them with him scarcely meant that none existed. But Marissa Fletcher was letting him into her world a little. Not much, but enough to peer in through the cracks.

"Well, are you going to take the book, Fletcher?" he demanded brusquely as he held it out. That was Severus Snape, answering a type of kindness he had never felt before and could hardly even understand with a borderline rudeness that, however many times she was exposed to it, Marissa Fletcher would never really understand.

And she answered it with a smile as she took Brains, Bones and Gum from him. "Did you enjoy it?" she asked. He looked at her for a moment. "I knew it was a long-shot, a book about Muggleborn potionmakers and their innovations with Muggle properties," she laughed. "I'm a little surprised that you didn't just pretend to read it."

"I am many things, Marissa Fletcher," he told her, letting anger into his voice. "But I am not a liar." Unlike those boys you hang out with and almost worship. They lie with every breath they take. You prefer them, though, to me, who if nothing else will never tell you something that I know to be untrue. The more the fool are you.

"There are worse things than a liar," Marissa told him as if she understood all of his unspoken thoughts, "but those who do not lie are very rare." She sounded and looked very, very sad for a moment. That was the moment that Severus Snape realized that however open she might be, she was not sharing all of her secrets with him. Perhaps not with anyone. "You never answered my question," she said, blinking to dispel whatever thought had crossed her mind just then. "Did you enjoy reading it?"

"I found it arrogantly open in its intentions," Snape answered her clinically. "And surprisingly subtle in its methods. Much like the person who suggested it to me."

"Subtle?" Marissa said, sounding amused. "Now that is one adjective that I never would have chosen to describe myself."

"Then you are a fool who cannot see even your own actions clearly," the hostile words came to him naturally, and he had never had practice at reeling them back before.

What surprised him was that she did not reel back in shock or even look offended. "I decided long ago to answer the substance of any comment rather than the expression," Marissa replied, "if only I had the wit to discern it." Snape just stared at her. "For all your hostile tone of voice and insulting words, you have just given me a great compliment, especially from one such as you who are sparing with compliments and consider subtlety among the greatest of virtues."

Snape was still staring at her in shock when she pulled out her wand and summoned the book from the compartment where her trunk was stored. She caught it deftly, and he was still looking at her in shock. "Well, are you going to take the book back, Severus?" she asked mildly. The same words that he had said to her earlier seemed so very different when they came from her mouth that it was hard to believe that they were spoken in the same language.

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked, and again the words sounded so different to his ears.

"It was a little technical," she admitted freely, "So I'm not entirely sure that I understood everything, but it was very interesting to see how connected the sources of many potionmaking ingredients are. And you know I love history."

"Why do you think that I know anything about you, Fletcher?" he said nastily, and this time it was willed. Why did she think she could so brazenly and easily walk into his heart and become his friend? Like it took no effort at all and certainly did not require his permission or even consent?

"Just an expression, Severus," she said mildly. She was not perturbed. She turned and left then. Not because she was angry, but because the conversation was finished. She did not look upset by his hostility or even put off by it. It was not until she had climbed into the train and disappeared from sight that he realized his mistake, the error that had given him away. He had let her call him Severus. That was how she had known that she had already won, so could give him as many smaller victories as he needed to let down his guard. Damn girl. Damn his stupidity. Damn that she was right. Damn that she knew it.

* * *

It was only a few minutes after the book sprang out of her trunk that Marissa came bounding into the compartment although none of them had told her where it was. "You ready, Remus?" she carroled, all signs of her lagging energy were now quite gone. "Let's go face our fate."

"Your badge," James said, holding it out for her. Marissa looked at him in surprise. "You always were very messy with your summoning charms, Riss, some of your stuff went flying out of your trunk behind that book." She nodded her understanding and took the small silver badge from his hand.

"Thank you," she said mildly.

"You're not going to tell us why you summoned a book?" Sirius demanded, putting his hands on his hips and pouting in what was actually a rather good impression of Lily when she was annoyed with James (no one could impersonate Lily when she was actually angry, none of them could turn that particular color).

"Severus and I exchanged books over the summer," Marissa replied, not seeming to be aware of the fact that not only was this the last answer that anyone had expected, but they were all now staring at her dubiously. "Here's yours back, Lils," she said unapologetically as she tossed it to Lily.

"Why thank you ever so, Riss," Lily said sarcastically. "You could have at least told me that you had it."

"Don't touch it, Lily!" Sirius cried. "It's been contaminated. It must now be destroyed."

"I gave you that book," James protested unexpectantly.

"We'll leave the four of you to work that out," Marissa said. "And try to bear in mind that you are all getting a little old for these kinds of prejudices." Remus had little confidence that her advice would be followed, but he followed her out all the same.

Silence descended as they began their stroll to the front of the train. What was this? They had always been able to talk. Had she realized how he felt about her? And now she didn't know how to talk to him? Remus nearly swore aloud. He got control of himself. He didn't even know for sure that anything was wrong. The pressures and weight of the summer could be the cause of it. They had all been making a valiant effort, but the things that had happened that summer could not so easily be shaken off.

"So, how many O.W.L.s did you get? Everybody else was exchanging them back there," Remus added the second sentence when she turned to look at him in surprise.

"Oh, I got eight," she replied unconcernedly.

"That's good," Remus told her sincerely. No, the tone of his voice was encouraging, like she needed to be cheered up. The same one that everyone had used with Peter. Why? Eight was good. Eight was just above average. Eight ... wasn't what he would have expected from Marissa Fletcher.

"Yes, eight O.W.L.s is very good," Marissa agreed, "in a different year with a different group of friends."

"Riss, eight's good anytime," Remus tried but felt the words come out empty. Why was he acting like this? It wasn't as if she were dying or anything, she just had lower than sensational O.W.L. scores. After all that had happened this summer, that was scarcely something to worry about.

"Not when it's a year of record-breaking high scores," Marissa said, "and your group of friends consists of three people with twelve O.W.L.s and one with eleven. Congratulations, by the way, Remus."

"Thanks, Riss," Remus said awkwardly.

Marissa laughed, and not just to dispel the tension. "You seem to be bothered by it more than I am. You're being silly about it though. Lily, James and Sirius certainly worked hard and have the talent that getting twelve O.W.L.s only verifies. And you are undoubtedly a smart and powerful wizard. You deserved your eleven. Although I wish that Peter had gotten the same scores as you all did to help with his confidence. The teachers might believe in him more too. But I have their respect and yours, so why should you feel sorry for me? If you didn't, then you all should have known that I wasn't quite in your league academically. I make up for it in other ways. Maybe now Lily will actually believe me when I say that she has Head Girl all locked up."

"You really don't care, do you Riss?" Remus asked, staring at her in surprise.

"They're test scores, Remus," Marissa said. "I'm just putting them in perspective. They mean much more if you did well than if you did poorly. Think about it. Unless you only scraped together two or so, your scores aren't a major part of your life or your resume for that matter unless you were in the top percentage of your class like you, Lily, James, and Sirius are. Peter and I will probably never have to hear about them again once the 'what did you get' craze settles down."

"I don't think that I'll ever know anyone else quite like you, Riss," Remus said, shaking his head.

"Well, I should hope that that's true of everyone," Marissa said with a smirk. "Otherwise the world would become an awfully dull place awfully fast." Remus smiled but had no further time to pry into the peculiar psyche that was Marissa Fletcher because they had reached the dreaded Prefect Compartment.

When they opened the door, it became aparent instantly who the new heads were. They both stopped dead in the doorway. Marissa's mouth fell open slightly. Remus was sure that his shock and possibly even his horror were plainly visible on his face.

It was the absolute worst possible pairing imaginable. Of course, most Gryffindors would automatically assume that the Slytherin prefect pair would be the worst, but in this case that would not have been true. Tirone Quirell was a decent bloke, a little too naive and highly impressionable for Slytherin even, who would have softened or at least contained Valerie Malfoy. But Guilderoy Lockhart was not equipped with any of the necessary attributes to lessen the control Valerie would wield or the damage that she would do with her shiny new Head Girl badge. Lockhart, in fact, was a poor choice for head boy completely on his own merits.

How on earth had Lockhart made the highest marks in his year? Valerie was at least believable. Lockhart and Malfoy. It was going to be a long year. A very long year.

"You can stop gawking now, and come in to get your assigned rounds," Valerie snapped. She was obviously trying to make it clear from the start that her authority was not to be questioned in the slightest degree. She was in command of the situation. She seemed to regard her fellow head as a nuisance that would be endured calmly before being dismissed entirely.

"Now, I'm sure that 1977 is going to be a very good year," Valerie began, and her tone and the vulture-like way that she regarded everyone told them that what she meant was, "or else." She began passing out the sheets and, to Remus's faint surprise, they not only assigned the rounds for the train ride, but also for the next four months of nightly shifts.

"If anyone has any problems, they may bring them before me. There is no need to go to McGonagall," she said in a tone that told them that she would not grant any pleas to reconsider the times or take kindly to anyone complaining to someone else.

Lockhart looked as if he was about to speak (it was obvious when he was winding himself up for a good long speech), but Valerie snapped her fingers at him just as he was opening his mouth and he closed it.

Remus was still skimming over the list when Marissa gasped beside him and hurried over to the group of girls in the center of the compartment, "Alice Watterby, is that a ring on your finger?" she demanded. "And Patty! You've got one too! My goodness, is the whole world getting married now?" Marissa laughed as the girls bashfully but proudly showed off their diamond rings. "Wait, wait ... don't tell me ... Frank Longbottom and Jackson Abbott?" Everyone laughed at those obvious guesses. Well, Remus saw, not everyone laughed. Valerie Malfoy bristled at the way that everyone responded to Marissa so easily.

"Miss Fletcher, I have not adjourned the meeting," she said tightly. "I would appreciate you not disrupting it." There was frozen, hard, impenetrable ice in her voice.

"You handed out the patrols, Valerie, and you haven't indicated that there was anything else that you wanted to talk about," Marissa told her, unperturbed as she turned to face the cold head girl.

"That is one thing I would like to discuss," she said, just as unflustered as Marissa. "I would prefer to be referred to as Miss Malfoy, Miss Fletcher."

"We have a first name rule for Prefect meetings," Marissa argued.

"That was under a different set of heads," Valerie answered coldly. "We will be polite under my administration."

"You mean like you're being now?" Alice challenged angrily.

"Yes, Miss Watterby, much like I am being now," Valerie replied calmly.

Alice looked furious, but Marissa quickly grabbed her and whispered in her ear. "Easy, Alice," Remus heard her whisper.

"She's insulting Lizzie Walker. I will not take that lying down," Alice said, not bothering to keep her voice down even a little.

"No one in this room would dare or care to insult Lizzie Walker," Marissa told her, aloud this time. "The first name rule was good under Lizzie and Gideon. Under another set of heads, a different set of rules would be appropriate," she continued.

"Miss Fletcher, I do not need you to play the buffer between me and my prefects," Valerie said coldly.

"Buffer?" Marissa asked mildly. "We are not at war, Valerie."

"Miss Malfoy, Miss Fletcher."

"She just wants to be like a teacher," Alice said under her breath.

"We are not at war, Miss Malfoy, then," Marissa said mildly, looking between both girls hoping to keep either from exploding.

"To your rounds, then, prefects," Valerie said, looking Marissa, not Alice, steadily in the eyes with what was undoubtedly a challenge. "The date and time of the first meeting is on your sheets. Take a care not to lose it, you won't be given another."

* * *

Remus and Marissa had the first of the shifts, so they immediately began to patrol the train. The were only three cars down from the compartment at the front of the train, however, when Marissa sank down onto the floor, and leaned her head morosely back against the wall. In slight surprise, Remus stopped and looked down at her.

"Merlin, I miss Lizzie," she sighed, extreme sorrow in her voice. Remus awkwardly sat down beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. Marissa's hand immediately flew up to cover it with her own, holding onto the small comfort he was offering, afraid to give more. "Why did all of this have to happen?"

"I don't know, Riss," Remus said gently. "And I don't think that we ever will."

Marissa looked as if she were trying not to cry. She looked infinitely sad. It didn't scare him quite so much this time, he had seen it before. It didn't occur to Remus that he was the only one that she felt comfortable letting down her guard in front of besides Lily. He was the only other one that she looked to for comfort. "It's not fair. It's not fair," Marissa sighed. "And it's my fault."

Remus knew instantly what she meant. Her persistence had been what brought Lizzie and Gideon together. "Riss, listen to me," Remus said, taking her by the shoulders and forcing her to look up at him, looking her in the eyes. "You heard what Lizzie said when she convinced Gideon to take a chance on them? It's a risk that was worth it to her. Loving Gideon was worth the risk, worth her life to her. That's the most incredible thing that anyone can ever feel, and you gave that to her."

Remus kept eye contact with her, but she looked down after a moment. "And she was right, in a way," Remus went on. "No matter how it turned out, it was worth the risk. Fate just called her bet is all. But that doesn't change what they had beforehand." Remus had caught her eyes again and held them fast, "Love is always worth it. No matter how it ends."

Marissa wasn't sure if Remus was still talking about Lizzie and Gideon, but she wasn't thinking about them. "Remus, I've got to tell - "

The door beside them was thrown open and Sirius came out. Neither had realized that they were right outside their friends' compartment. "I thought I heard your voices," he caroled lightly. He took one look at them and his composure dissolved instantly. "Riss, is something wrong?"

Marissa laughed, shaking her head and smiling. "Oh let's not rehash it," she said, disgusted with herself for her moment of weakness. One minute she was thinking of Lizzie and mourning her loss, the next moment all she cared about was going back on a promise that she had made to herself. Her friends would be crushed when - if - she died. Why make it harder on Remus by making him fall for her more? And if she made it through this, well then there'd be plenty of time for romance after that. It was a good decision, and she was very proud of it. She would have to be stronger to make sure that she went through with it.

Marissa stood up in one fluid, graceful movement. "Remus and I have the first patrol, we'll see you in an hour," she said, standing and beginning to walk away. Both boys followed her, walking quickly.

"No way, you can't send me back in there. The silence is killing me," Sirius said, walking behind her with Remus. There was only room for two at most to walk abreast in the corridor in the cars.

"You're going to give up?" Marissa demanded, but she didn't say anything when he continued to follow them. She sighed after a moment of silence. "All right. I guess you never were very good with dealing with quiet."

"No Marauder is," Sirius returned. Remus shrugged his agreement. There were too many voices in the silence now. For all of them.

* * *

When patrol was over, they were still in the first leg of the farm country. It was clear from the air in the compartment that precious few words had been spoken since Marissa, Remus and Sirius had gone off on their rounds. "How's it going?" James asked as they all filed in.

"All according to plan," Sirius said with an almighty wink. None of the their hearts were in the old saying, however. There didn't seem to be any plan at all these days. What messed up plan would leave Lizzie and Peter's father dead with Peter's mother in Azkaban and Gideon Prewett a wreck? Certainly not a plan any of them wanted to follow. Better if there was no plan.

Marissa plopped down next to Lily, placing herself by the window. It ensured that Remus wouldn't sit next to her. Not that he was forward anyway, but the less Marissa was put that near him, the better she would be able to hide it.

"I don't even want to think about what they're planning," Lily sighed.

Marissa laughed, "I was with them the whole time they were out of the compartment, Lils."

"I'm sorry, but was that supposed to be a comforting thought for me?" Lily returned, raising her eyebrow at her best friend.

Marissa smiled, "Don't you trust me, Lils?"

"Yes," Lily replied to everyone's surprise. "I trust you to always be making a scene. I trust you to do embarassing things like announcing my O.W.L. scores to the entire population of Hogwarts. And I trust you to always be up to something."

"And to be your friend," Marissa added.

But after that, the conversation, despite its promising start, sputtered and died. Lily couldn't stand it. There had been nothing in her life but the sickening silence of the hospital ever since her mother collapsed. When it was quiet like this, she could almost hear her mother's rasping breath.

"So," she said suddenly, the word bursting from her. Unfortunately, after that the words all dried up. "So," Lily tried to think which of her friends she could say something to. She panicked when the silence seemed to threaten to stretch on again and spoke to the first person that her eyes landed on, "James, how's your mother?"

Wow. There could not have been anything worse to say. If she had tried, she couldn't have come up with such a bad thing to say to fill the silence. If she had mentioned Azkaban or the hospital or Death Eaters, at the very least it only would have horrified one of her friends. This way hit everyone. In fact, everyone but James had something horrible to think about in connection with his or her mother, including Lily.

"She's going through Jamie-pooh withdrawals right about now," Sirius spoke into the awkward silence. Everyone laughed.

But it didn't last. Sirius couldn't stand the silence. In it he heard the Howlers that his mother had sent his friends, the slightly muffled cry of Regulus from under his proudly worn Death Eater mask.

"So, James, how's your dad?" Sirius said with a decent attempt at his old jocularity.

"Ha, ha," Lily said, though she looked relieved rather than annoyed.

"Shouldn't you know, Sirius?" James asked. "You spent more time with him this summer than I did."

"Ah, yes, good old Davy, I sometimes forget that they are the same person," Sirius said with his bark of laugh.

It was the last sound heard for several minutes. James couldn't stand the silence. In every moment that ticked by without any noise to drown it out, he heard Lizzie Walker's final words and her desperate cry to the man she loved. He heard the battle. He heard Gideon Prewetts dry heaving sobs tearing through the night air.

"So, Remus, how was that Ball that you and Marissa went to this summer?" his voice held plenty of suggestion. Whether they had to explore a blooming romance or listen to the firm denials, it was at least a subject that would keep them talking for awhile.

Marissa and Remus, however, both shifted awkwardly in their seats and said nothing. The rest of them immediately became almost as awkward. No one said anything. It was the longest silence yet.

Remus couldn't take it. It was nauseating. He kept catching himself glancing over at Marissa when there was nothing to distract him. And the inner wolf always seemed to seethe just under the surface when he had no thoughts to talk over him.

"Is Gus all right, Riss?" Remus asked at long last, just so that the awkward silence would stop. It had become clear in the meantime that only he or Marissa could have broken it this time. After all, they were the ones who had caused it.

Marissa jumped. "Yes, yes, he's fine," she said in a distracted way. She alone, apparently, was silent not because she could think of nothing but because a thousands thoughts were dancing constantly through her head.

"Good," Remus said simply.

"Yes, very good," Peter added, almost as if it were a competition. "Because we certainly don't want to find out that he's been hiding in the Daystar Room again." They all laughed, but this topic too, proved to have no momentum.

Peter could not endure this silence. It was as pervasive as his assignment. Watch them. Learn about them. Then tell him everything about them, so that he could kill them Peter assumed. He heard his order and his choice over and over in his head. When there was nothing to block it out, it felt like the Dark Lord himself were screaming in Peter's ear, though he had not yet had to meet him face to face.

Peter, however, could not think of anything to say. His job was not to think any more. His job was to listen. And listen he would.

So the silence stretched on.

"Okay, that's it. I can't take the silence anymore," Marissa said, rising to her feet. Everyone turned to stare at her. "We all had seriously crappy summers," she said bluntly. "And obviously we're not going to get over all of that easily. Everything's not back to normal, and just as obviously we're not going to be able to pretend it is." They all looked at her asking the same question, So what do we do about it?

"But I'm not just going to sit here staring out the window in dead silence," Marissa said, and for once she didn't inwardly blanch at the word "dead." "We need something to snap us out of this. Something that will prove that we're still who we used to be. We need something fun."

There was a slightly less terrible silence for a moment, then Lily said, "And I just bet that you already have something in mind."

Marissa smiled her trademark smirk, in some ways just as fearsome as Sirius Black's, and said grandly, "Capture the flag."

All of them were stunned. No one said anything for a minute. Then James said simply, "Boundaries?"

"Well, obviously the train," Marissa said. "And though I'd love to make the Prefects Compartment part of it as a challenge, it really gives Remus and me an unfair advantage so it's out. If you can find a way into the engine though, well I'd love to see that let me tell you. Other than that the caboose and don't set anyone on fire."

"Teams?"

"You're a captain and so am I, you can pick first," Marissa answered.

"Sirius."

"Remus."

"Lily."

"Peter."

"Flags?"

"Something of from someone on the other team painted Gryffindor colors."

"You already stolen yours?"

"Yes. Your team can have five minutes alone in the compartment to take something of ours."

"Time limit?"

"Lunch trolley reaches the caboose?"

"Weapons?"

"Wands obviously. Paint-by-numbers spell. Lils and I figured it out about the same time that you Marauders did. Any other house color and you have to go back to the Prefects Compartment to start over."

This exchange happened so fast, both of them arranging things so quickly, that the others didn't even have time to blink before all was decided.

"What does Gryffindor red do?"

"You can only cast it if they're within a foot of the flag. Then they can't grab the flag for the rest of the game and they have to go back to the Prefects Compartment to start."

"Winner decided..."

"First team to get the other team's flag back here."

"Any other factors?"

"If you get caught by a prefect on Patrol you're out."

"Not including you and Remus."

"Obviously."

"Start time?"

"Ten minutes. Five in the compartment for your team and five to hide the item. Then all start from whatever car you hid it in."

"All right. Get out."

"Come along boys," Marissa caroled, pushing open the door and holding it for her team. Remus and Peter blinked a few times before they obeyed, but then they followed her out.

Marissa led them down a few cars before she stopped. "So you picked the flag without us?" Peter demanded in a slightly annoyed tone. "Do we at least get to know what it is?"

Marissa held it up proudly. Peter whistled. "You have such a thing for James Potter's boxers."

Remus had a very odd look in his eyes, then he realized that both of his friends and teammates were looking at him. "I don't even want to think about how you pickpocketed that."

"Relax, both of you," she smiled. "I got it from a trunk. Not the ones he was wearing. Dirty minds, the lot of you."

"How?" Peter asked. "How could we have not seen you raiding his trunk? It's up above his head! Across the compartment!"

"I'm very, very good, I guess," Marissa smirked. "Now, if you boys feel wronged you can decide where to hide it." She held it out. When neither boy took it, she added, "Would you like to do the honors, Peter? And let's hurry, there is, after all, a time limit."

So Peter, holding their flag which they dyed temporarily red and gold, walked in front of Remus and Marissa as they searched for the perfect hiding place.

"Oh, and now's a good time to tell you, Projects DJE, Matchmaker, and Familia have been accelerated," Marissa told them. "So I'll probably need your help and ideas."

"You'll have to tell me what those are first," Peter snapped angrily.

"DJE is Deflating James's Ego and Familia is finding a decent family member in the Black family tree," Marissa explained. "Take a wild guess what Project Matchmaker is."

"I have two," Peter said, in a somewhat tight voice for a tease.

"Say aloud only the most obvious," Marissa said warningly. The last thing that she needed was for Peter to start playing matchmaker between her and Remus.

"So why, exactly, are you accelerating them?" Remus asked curiously.

"Because, for one thing, I'm tired of watching Lily and James take one step forward and three steps back. They can act like friends now but they're barely contained emotions still run rampant. They need to learn to be truly at ease with each other," Marissa answered. "For another I think that they might need each other in the time to come. Soon." There was a short pause. "As for Project Familia, Sirius needs some confidence that someone with his blood can turn out as something good as soon as possible, don't you agree?"

"And your other projects?"

"Which ones?" Marissa asked.

"The ones you never told me anything about besides the codename," Remus laughed.

"Those are on hold indefinitely," Marissa sighed. "I'm learning to prioritize."

"Then can you two prioritize finding a hiding place for this monstrous thing before we attract the attention of the entire train?" Peter suggested.

* * *

"Remus's prefect badge?"

"Is that fair?" James asked. "It's so small."

"Anything Marissa could have nicked in so little time is probably just as small," Lily argued, still holding up the small badge. "And it means Remus can't double back for it and use his prefects badge as a free pass to the restricted areas of the train you'll undoubtedly be hiding the flag in."

"I wouldn't be sure about Marissa's not nicking something larger," Sirius put in, but just to annoy them both. Sirius was trying hard not to grin. They were in the same room, yet Lily wasn't trying to kill James and James wasn't trying to find a way to 'accidentally' kiss Lily. Things were certainly getting weird around here.

"But unless it's an inside joke, the flag should be small," Lily argued.

"Oh my," James said, looking as if he had just had a revelation.

"What?" Lily demanded testily. "Our five minutes are nearly up."

James didn't answer. He merely jumped up onto the seat and threw open his trunk. He started rifling through his things.

"James, that's your trunk. Can we please concentrate on something useful? Like their trunks?" Lily asked with sarcasm lacing her voice.

"You can use the prefect's badge, Lily," James said, closing the lid. "All's fair in love and war."

"The Marauder's motto," Lily muttered cynically. "Well, let's hide it then."

* * *

Five minutes later, the game began. Wands drawn, Remus and Marissa advanced stealthily from the compartment where Peter hid to guard the flag. James pulled Sirius aside as the boys and Lily set off in search of the flag. They had decided not to post a guard, figuring the flag was much safer if they just trusted in the other team not noticing it.

James pulled Sirius aside almost immediately and told him, "Once we find their flag, get tagged red."

"What?"

"Just do it, Padfoot. Trust me."

"You know what their flag is, don't you?" Sirius claimed.

"Of course. But I'm not going to risk admitting that."

"I can't decide which of you is enjoying this more, you or Marissa," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"So you've figured it out too?"

"No, but you both seem so gleeful about it."

"Yep."

"Two of a kind you are. Thank Merlin you never found each other attractive. I couldn't take the nightmares about the kids you would have."

"You know there's only one woman for me, Padfoot."

"Yes, yes, Prongs. We all know."

* * *

Marissa and Remus were doing every spy move in the books, just for the fun of it, when they were hit by Sirius. A violent Slytherin green (had they really expected any other house color to be used to tag people out?), they both proceeded all the way to the Prefect Compartment where they were met by Valerie Malfoy who regarded them stonily before she apparently decided not to comment on it and closed the door in their faces.

"Well, she's no Lizzie Walker," Marissa said sadly. "But at least she didn't put us on probabation on the spot."

"That's something I guess," Remus said, shaking his head. Would they see Lizzie everytime that they looked at Valerie now? Would they have no matter who was head girl? Or only with someone who was so very different than Lizzie? Or was she a ghost that would hang about Hogwarts for many years to come regardless? Until the last student who had been there during her reign in Hogwarts had left the school?

Marissa painting Lily a blaring Hufflepuff yellow distracted Remus from these thoughts as he spun around to see James coming. He barely managed to pull Marissa out of the way of the troublesome spell. He quickly fired at James, but missed. Luckily, however, Sirius was just behind him and took the spell in the face. That's payback, pal.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the lunch trolley lady began her rounds, and neither flag had been spotted. Peter was getting rather bored with his job, in fact. He almost considered leaving before Rabastan Lestrange entered the compartment where he was guarding the monstrously embarassing flag.

"Good evening, Pettigrew," he said politely.

"It's morning, Lestrange," Peter snapped irritably. Why was he always stuck in this job? Sirius was the watchdog of the group.

"I said, 'Good evening, Pettigrew,'" he said again.

Peter's life was becoming a twisted, disturbed, and frightening James Bond movie. That was one of the codephrases that other junior Death Eaters at Hogwarts, more trusted apparently, would use to contact him for information. "I don't know anything yet," Peter said. "What would I know?"

"That, say, a cursable object was out of their sight and easily obtainable?" he suggested in a lethal voice.

"If you curse the flag, they'll know I wasn't standing guard," Peter said worriedly. "They must never know."

"I meant the compartment they left untended, with all of their things inside," Lestrange said silkily. Peter paled. "Don't worry. The monitoring device has been planted without your help. You will have to change it periodically, however."

"Monitoring device? Are Sirius Black and James Potter really this important to Y-You-Know-Who?"

"No, I don't know who, Pettigrew," Lestrange said. "And I certainly cannot contemplate the motivations of someone when I don't even know what you're talking about. Have more sense about you next time."

He turned to leave, "It should be obvious, however, Pettigrew, that any powerful wizard knows that you take out any potential enemies early, while they are still merely an annoyance."

* * *

Remus and Marissa found that it was a better strategy to serve as an annoyance to the other team rather than try to fight them directly or play defensively. Also, by watching which areas they avoided when they knew they were being tailed, they would gather a clue as to where the flag was hidden. At least, that was the plan. Lily, James and Sirius had their number however. They didn't blink when Marissa and Remus trekked right by the small flag that they had hidden.

In fact, it was not until, on one of their increasingly frequent trips to the Prefects Compartment to be de-greened, that Valerie pointed out Remus's missing badge and they realized what the flag had to be. After that, they were hot on the trail of it, and the Potter Evans Black team was getting worried.

That was when they realized that they hadn't seen Peter at all. He must be guarding the flag. So, find Peter, find the flag. Sirius and James glanced at each other. The delicate part of this game was about to begin.

With both teams getting closer to the goal, the lunch trolley was halfway down the train. The woman was now trying to sell food to a surly Severus Snape who was doing a surprisingly good job of forgetting his conversation with Marissa Fletcher. Take that you meddlesome little Mudblood.

Damn. Why did he have to yell at her every time he managed to forget about her?

* * *

Peter felt distinctly forgotten right up until the moment that all three members of the opposing team burst into his compartment firing at him. Peter managed to get his shield up in record time. He also managed, to his intense surprise, to tag James Gryffindor red. And, just as unbelievably, Sirius was too ambitious a moment later and made a grab for the flag during a brief ceasefire on the shield from Lily who was covering the boys. Bright red, the boys backed away from the flag just as Marissa and Remus descended on them, completing the ambush.

Fleeing but with more knowledge of the location of the flag than Marissa, Remus and Peter could boast, they all returned to the Prefects Compartment to regroup.

"We think their flag is Remus's prefects badge," Marissa told Peter, wiping her forehead. She and Remus had escaped without damage, being behind cover rather than out in the open. "We're lucky that that threesome was so arrogant. We got them back to the beginning, but they'll be back soon. Should we all stay here? But we still don't know where it is."

Peter had an idea that might help. After all, since Marissa didn't know about their Animagus forms it hadn't been designated as against the rules. James and Sirius probably considered it understood as James's stag form couldn't fit anywhere in the train and Sirius could scarcely have gone unnoticed. Peter's rat form, however, was perfect. He just needed to smell around for Remus's scent where he hadn't been yet.

"I'll look. You stay here and guard the flag, Riss," Peter said. "They won't be expecting you. Remus, you try and defend the castle a few cars down. I suggest that you hide, Riss, and try to surprise them."

"Sounds like a plan, what are you going to do, Peter?" Marissa asked, looking about for a good place to stash herself.

"Sniff out the flag," Peter said, looking at Remus so that he would catch his meaning. Remus's eyes widened, but then he grinned very much like James or Sirius would have. They had been friends so long they had the same mannerisms. It could be most annoying.

"All right, we better hurry," she said, slipping beneath the seat on her stomache so that she had leverage to aim at them once they came bursting through the door. "They'll be back on track any moment."

* * *

Lily, James and Sirius all sprinted back to the Prefects Compartment and tagged the door loudly, bring Guilderoy Lockhart forward to answer it. Yelling and ducking away, they hurried away from it even as the green and red began to fade off of them.

They stopped two cars down, breathing hard. "Okay, what just happened?"

"They just tore us up," James replied cheerfully.

"And they shouldn't have," Sirius said with a dark look at James.

"Look, I'm sorry, Sirius," Lily said sounding highly frustrated. "I know I was supposed to cover Peter- "

"No, Lily. You did just fine. James and I were the ones who ran out in front of him when you were drawing your breath," Sirius said with a dark look at James.

"It's doing us no good to assign blame. New plan of attack?" Lily demanded, getting her wind back.

"Well, Sirius and I got tagged red on that last one," James said unneccessarily. "You'll have to be the one to grab the flag."

Lily looked at him closely for a long moment. Sirius spoke quickly, "Let's just hope you're better at darting than we are."

Lily was still looking at James accusingly. "Did you do this on purpose?" she asked in a lethal whisper.

"Don't be stupid, Lils," Sirius said quickly. "You know how competitive we are."

Lily's eyes narrowed for a moment, but then she looked at Sirius harshly, "Don't call me Lils."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why does Riss get to be the only one to call you that?" he whined. "It's not fair!"

"Because you sound like a two year old, Sir-s," Lily replied. Actually, because she's the only person that I can't make stop doing it. But if I told you that I would lose all power to stop you from doing it too.

"You just won't let us in, will you, Lily?" James asked almost sadly.

Lily shifted her weight. "I don't like it when you look at me like that," she complained. "You can stop now." James waited a moment before looking away, but then he did. "And we're wasting time. The lunch trolley lady is getting near the end of the train now and they could find our flag at any time."

"Fine, let's go back. Sirius, you go in front," James said, taking on his commanding tone. "I'll cover you from behind, Lily."

"That's it?" Lily cried in surprise. "The whole game plan?"

"Well, we go stealthily," James added with a shrug.

"Sounds good," Lily and Sirius said in unison. They turned to look at each other in surprise. James cleared his throat when the moment got too long for him. Not that there had been anything in their glance besides mutual surprise. Lily didn't feel that way about Sirius anymore. If she ever really had.

"Okay let's go," Lily said, starting to slink down the corridor of the car they were in. During the argument and the supposedly heated moment between Lily and Sirius, a rat had slipped unnoticed by them. He smelled a small hint of Remus. Just enough to be his badge or an hour old trail. What he was looking for was a trace of Remus's scent that didn't have Marissa's near it. What Peter wouldn't give to never have to think that sentence in a different context.

* * *

Marissa and Remus both hid, trying to pretend that they weren't bored. They both had a profound sympathy for Peter at that moment. They had been having all the fun tracking down the others while he had been stuck here with only one moment of excitement. Given, it was the most exciting part of the game yet, but it was still boring to sit here waiting. They also felt like sitting ducks. Or at least, that was how Marissa phrased it.

Then, just as they were beginning to shift in their hiding places, Sirius and James began their attack. They weren't much for subtle approaches to anything.

* * *

Lily hung back on the assault. Potter wasn't much for subtle strategy, but then again, the only other entrance to the compartment where Marissa's practical joke of a flag had been hung was over the roof of the train and through the window, which was probably magicked not to open from the outside. If Sirius or Potter hadn't been red-tagged, Lily had no doubt that they would have tried it anyway.

Lily, on the other hand, didn't have their luck. They would have made it through that spectacle with ease, and it would have been just another daring trick that McGonagall would berate them for when they reached the castle (for it could not possibly go unnoticed). Lily, however, would fall off and break her neck and never be found because of the forcefield or whatever it was that hid the train from view. You couldn't just be good to pull the stunts that Sirius and Potter had pulled. You had to be very, very lucky. And Lily didn't have that kind of luck.

Arguably, she had another more vital kind, but that wouldn't help her crawling around on the outside of the Hogwarts Express. So she waited until James had Remus thoroughly distracted and Sirius had Marissa all tied up in just trying to keep her shield up and occassionally fire a useless spell at him.

Peter was nowhere in sight, but that hardly meant anything. He could be popping out of nowhere. Oh well. Do or die. Let's see if I have it in me to be a Marauder after all.

Lily ducked her face out of the doorway before she was spotted and slipped Potter's Invisibility Cloak over her. Marissa hadn't specifically outlawed it, but it still felt a little like cheating. Then again, it would hardly protect her from spells. She had to go into the midst of a fray without protection. Surely those cancelled each other out. At the very least, it should show her courage to those boys.

So Lily slipped into the crowded (with bodies and spells) compartment and, ducking frequently, made it to the flag. She slowly, very slowly, reached up toward James Potter's boxers. How very, very funny Marissa must be finding herself now. Thinking that Lily would refuse to touch them. Well, Miss Know-It-All, take this.

To the watchers, a hand snaked out and snatched the flag out of thin air. They all stopped for a moment, enough to hear the soft footfalls as Lily darted out of the compartment, still under the Cloak. Marissa had the presence of mind to reach out blindly in an attempt to snatch it off of her. She missed, of course.

Remus, who caught on to her ploy, was more lucky. The Cloak slid off Lily and she appeared in midair. She gave a squeak of surprise, but stood before them holding the flag. Sirius immediately fired a hasty impedimenta at Remus who was closest, and James, reacting almost as quickly, fired one at Marissa who had her wand poised. Then all three sprang out the door.

The spells evaporated fairly quickly, then Remus and Marissa were dashing after the three, not bothering to keep their voices down as they hollered spells at them in wild pursuit. Half the train seemed to stop and watch the crazy race. They could use the amusement. The Gryffindor six were not the only ones who had had a very hard summer.

Lily ran full tilt, taking little care to avoid other students or obstacles. Sirius was banishing everything (and everyone) out of her way. He fired back random spells every few minutes. James was more strategically aiming at Remus and Marissa who were hard put to dodge to stay out of the way. Then again, James was hard pressed to avoid their spells as well. Lily had to duck wildly out of the way several times herself. Only Sirius, in the forefront, barely ever had to duck.

The battle became fierce in the final car, and even drew the audience out into the corridor. They instantly realized that this was a mistake and ducked back behind the glass. In the flurry, they realized what they had overlooked in their sprint through the train. The spells rebounded. It was most disorienting to have to duck a spell you thought was already behind you. Damn Hogwarts' security measures in making virtually everything on the train spell-proof.

They were liable to get someone killed one of these days.

* * *

Peter had Remus's painted badge in his teeth. He was, however, blocked from reaching the end compartment by the battle going on. Marissa was firing spell after repelling spell on the door to keep Lily and the flag from going in. Remus was casting a vigorous Shield Charm to protect her from James and Sirius's attempts to stop the bombarding of the door.

Lily was poised to enter the door the moment there was a pause in the fighting. There was no way that Peter would be able to outfight them to get to it first. He could join the fray from behind, distract them all, and prolong the battle. Or, he could try to sneak in under their noses. That had seriously appeal.

He would need Lily to open the door, however. And that was unlikely to happen while Marissa was bombarding it. Then, it would have to close very fast again so that he could transform and pretend that he had been there for minutes already.

Peter considering brushing Remus's leg to let him in on the plan. This idea repelled him, however. He wanted the glory for this to be all his. Vanity, vanity, all is... oh he hadn't the time for Shakespeare.

Sirius and James were more powerful than Remus. Not by a very great amount, but enough. Especially with this continual stress put on his shield, which had to be weak enough that Marissa could fire through it. Already it was starting to flicker. When it did, both of them would scatter to avoid the curses flying at them.

Then Lily would open the door. If they rebounded quickly enough to start firing again, slamming it shut for her, they might just win this game. Was Peter wrong for wanting take all the credit when it would require lightning fast reactions from his teammates who wouldn't even realize how important it was? Probably. But then, Peter was getting used to that. All's fair in love and war.

* * *

Remus and Marissa both knew that his shield was about to break. "On three," Marissa called, but over the ruckus that their battle was causing it was unlikely that anyone else did. "One...two," Marissa cried. Then she fired yet another repelling charm at the door and cried, "THREE!" while dropping to the ground and rolling aside as the curses whisked by them the instant that Remus broke the spell and likewise rolled to the side.

In triumph, Lily flung the door open. She didn't even notice a rat skittering past into the compartment. Marissa flung herself back into range and slammed the door shut in a shower of sparks from her wand.

The battle looked fit to resume instantly, but then the door opened again of its own accord. Everyone stopped short in surprise, all breathing heavily. Peter stood in the doorway, Remus's badge pinned to his robes. "What's all this ruckus? I had almost fallen asleep!" he complained.

"Ah!" Marissa cried in surprised delight. "Peter Pettigrew you've proved the best of us all!"

Peter positively glowed at her praise. But it was Remus to whom she turned for a celebration hug, and Remus who spun her around before setting her back on the ground. And it was Remus that she smiled at.

* * *

They all collapsed back onto the seats of their compartment, winded and exhausted. And laughing. Laughing hard. It was funny, it had been tremendous fun, but most of all it felt so good to laugh for itself. It had been so long since they had really laughed. They had missed it even more than Lizzie. Even more than the old Gideon. Even more than Peter's father and mother. Even more than their recently stolen childhoods. Laughter is too closely linked with hope to ever be missed less than anything save hope itself.

"Well, rematch?" Marissa asked when everyone had calmed again.

No one bothered to answer her. They laughed a little again, just for the fun of it.

"To think," Lily gasped. "We put on that whole show, that whole mess in the corridor," she had to pause to recapture her breath. "And all the time Peter was already in here!"

They all laughed again. "Why didn't you come out sooner?" Lily demanded.

"Because he's a Marauder," Sirius said, putting his arm around Peter's shoulders. "All Marauders love a good fight. That one was far too entertaining to pass up."

"I did see a rat cross Lily's path," James said mildly.

"What in the world does that have to do with anything?" Marissa asked in surprise.

"You used the Invisibility Cloak, Prongs," Remus replied just as mildly.

"What in the world does that have to do with anything?" Lily repeated Marissa's words, hitting the exact same tone.

"Just another thing that makes Peter a Marauder," James answered her. All the boys shared smiles. Remus winked at Peter.

"Well, I still can't believe that I touched James Potter's boxers for nothing," Lily said frustratedly. Then, she abruptly noticed that she was still holding them and flung them away from her.

"Why do you say that?" Marissa asked softly. They all turned to stare at her. There was a very long, expectant silence. Then Marissa's face broke out into her trademark mischievious smile, "Did you really all assume that they were James's?" Then she laughed.

"I could use another joke," Sirius said pointedly when she did not explain her remark or the source of her mirth.

"They're Lily's," Marissa cried. "She wears them as pajamas sometimes." Then Marissa burst out laughing again, harder this time. Nearly everybody joined her.

They didn't get far, however, before Valerie Malfoy burst into the compartment in a towering rage. "Just - what - did - you - think - you - were - doing?" she said through tightly clenched teeth.

They all stopped laughing instantly. "You distrubted the entire train, staged a very dangerous battle in the middle of a corridor, endangered everyone's life - "

"And had a very good laugh about it afterwards," Sirius finished cheekily, smiling very self-righteously at Valerie.

"You could have hurt someone!" she screamed. "You disrupted order! You could have created a riot or a free for all!"

"Actually, our spells couldn't have hurt anyone, Miss Malfoy," Marissa said quietly. The "Miss Malfoy" was just enough to still her immediate wrath. She was too taken aback that Marissa had so easily afforded her that coveted courtesy. It put this encounter back into the realm of polite conversation. It was a brilliant move. Marissa would be a dangerous opponent. Or a powerful ally. The trouble was, she was likely to be one as often as the other.

"They were only color-dying spells," Marissa explained in the lull.

"Did the spectators you attracted know that? What if they had joined in? Would they have known to play along safely?" she demanded, all her anger back and seething.

"I don't think that any of them wanted to get involved in that," Lily replied. "I saw the looks on some of their faces."

"It was still inexcusable behavior!" Valerie Malfoy roared. "How dare you?" She looked around at all of them. "When we get up to the school, I will be taking measures to -"

"To what?" James challenged. "The school year hasn't started yet so you can't take off housepoints. We live in detention so we're not threatened by that. Try to get Riss and Remus removed as Prefects? Fat chance. Riss has survived a far worse infraction than this with only probation."

"I will be reporting you all to McGonagall and Dumbledore," Valerie Malfoy exclaimed.

"I love McGonagall!" Sirius cried rebelliously.

"If you have a problem, bring it to me, there is no need to go to McGonagall," Marissa said in a firm, closed tone. Valerie started, recognizing her words from earlier. There was a subtle message in using them. If Valerie wanted to rule without McGonagall to interfere, she wouldn't go to her herself. Otherwise, Valerie's ploy to excise her from Prefect Affairs would be useless. It wasn't even, considering the source, a threat. It was a warning. If the first thing that you do this year is run to McGonagall, what do you think the first thing that your prefects will do will be?

"We will discuss this later then," Valerie said, retreating furiously. Just because it galled her didn't mean that she didn't recognize that Marissa was right. She couldn't go to McGonagall. Especially not on the first day. She couldn't tell anyone else to either, and nearly everyone else would think it hilarious rather than dangerous. Oh yes, Marissa Fletcher would be a powerful force to be reckoned with indeed.

She walked out and slammed the door so hard that the glass rattled and nearly fell. Then Marissa sat down calmly. "And you say you won't be Head Girl," Lily said a moment later to break the tension.

Marissa smiled, "I can control head girls, Lily, not do their job."

"Ah, so you plan to be the power behind the throne?" Lily challenged.

"You'll look prettiest in the crown, Lils, I'll just be the one to taste test your food," it was a somewhat cryptic reply, but everyone shrugged.

"Well, we've infuriated the authorities, and it's barely lunchtime," James said, putting his hands behind his head and looking highly satisfied with the situation.

"We've made enemies of those in power, and it's just the first day," Sirius said, mimicking the pose.

"We've caused first rate mayhem in record time," Remus said, assuming the same pose.

"All according to plan," Peter added, trying to assume the pose but slipping in his seat. Everyone laughed.

"Things almost seem to be back to normal," Lily laughed, mimicking their pose. "If I didn't know better, I'd say they were."

"There is no normal anymore, Lils," Marissa corrected her. "And I don't think that there ever will be again. But we're still us. And we're still the same people that we always were."

"Life's not back to normal but we are?" Lily asked.

"Something like that."

"I think that you're wrong," James said reflectively. There was a short pause where everyone started thinking again.

"In that case, things definitely aren't back to normal," Lily said with a smirk. "Riss is always right about everything," she explained with a roll of her eyes.

Then they all laughed. Because it felt good.

©KatyMulvaney3-12-2005