What Magic Can Do

What Magic Can Do

Chapter three

She bumped into Lupin at an Inter-departmental meeting at the Ministry of Magic the very next day. He sat across the table from her, absentmindedly flipping through a large pile of papers, only half listening to what was being said. She noticed he looked even paler than usual, his shoulders drooping a little. She remembered with a shudder it had been almost a month since Remus was taken ill the last time.

At last the meeting was over. Lupin hurried over to talk to a group of wizards about to leave the room. Gwen lingered a little at the table, looking over her notes, when she suddenly felt someone touch her shoulder so lightly it felt like a butterfly had alighted on it. A tingling sensation spread through her body as she looked up into a couple of twinkling eyes smiling down at her. He drew her aside, then leaned slightly towards her as he dropped his voice.

'There's something happening the upcoming weekend that I want you to be part of. It's about time I show you were I live anyway, isn't it?' Lupin frowned apologetically. 'Let's say seven o'clock on Friday; you'll travel the usual way, by Floo powder. Make sure you get the address right: It's Graystone Cottage on the river Wharfe just north of Kettlewell. If I'm not there when you arrive, just make yourself at home.'

Gwen was taken by surprise by Lupin's sudden change of mind. He'd hardly talked to her for weeks, then the next thing she knows he's inviting her to his house for the whole weekend? She had secretly been wanting to see it for ages, ever since he had told her about the tiny stone cottage with its flowering garden, situated in the beautiful countryside of the Yorkshire Dales. But Gwen didn't want to brood on the reason why Lupin had finally invited her to his home; the only thought that would fit inside her head was that she would be able to spend lots of time with her favourite wizard.

*

She straightened up, shook the ashes off her travelling cloak and looked around. She was standing in the middle of a small living-room very sparingly furnitured. The evening sunlight poured through the curtain-less windows, giving the room a warm touch. There were dusty shelves full of books lined up along the walls, barely giving space for the fireplace. On the mantelpiece stood a small cage inhabited by what appeared to be moving twigs, and in a corner stood an empty grindylow-tank. A few worn armchairs stood on a soft and heavy rug in the middle of the room. Gwen smiled happily. She thought the room reflected very much its owner: Not too particular about its appearance, but friendly, warm and definitely interesting. She wanted to sit down in one of the armchairs not doing anything, just taking in the atmosphere of the room. But her curiosity got the better of her. Remus had told her to feel at home, so she walked towards the door at the other end of the room, which, it turned out, led to a well-worn and a little untidy but otherwise clean kitchen. From the kitchen there were another two doors, one leading out into the garden, and the other one leading up a steep and narrow staircase to the upstairs. She thought it would be kind of sneaky to walk the stairs to what she assumed would be Lupin's study and bedroom, so instead she ventured outside to look at the cottage garden.

What met her eyes made her gasp. The cottage and its garden were situated halfway up a windswept hillside criss-crossed with ancient-looking stone fences, the property surrounded by a grove of trees and with a superb view right down the valley bottom where a river merrily wound its way. There were no other houses nearby, just the open fields speckled with white dots of grazing sheep and a glimpse of the wild and heathery moors beyond them. And the garden! Gwen loved it. It almost looked like it had grown itself; thick and a little untidy rosebushes were climbing the stone walls, bushes and briars, flowers and exotic-looking herbs were scattered about, and an old and knobbly oak-tree stood in one of the corners producing a light shade to the wooden garden bench beneath it. The grass rippled on the rough lawn, inviting Gwen to take off her shoes and bury her toes in the lush green carpet.

But before she could do so she jumped at the sound of what sounded like a whip being cracked, and turning around she saw Remus materialising out of thin air. He came grinning towards her.

'Thought you'd be outside in the garden,' he smiled teasingly. 'Couldn't keep your hands off it, could you? Do you like it?'

Gwen smiled back at him, her eyes laughing with happiness.

'Like? I love the way it looks so - so free and untamed. You've made it look like it created its beauty all by itself. How did you do that?' Gwen asked in an awed voice.

'Well,' said Remus humbly but rather pleased, 'the garden was more or less like this when I inherited it, but I've done a little to develop it further. Please; would you like to sit down?'

Gwen followed him over to the old oak and sat down on the garden bench. When he started to speak, he didn't look at her but leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees, looking down the valley that unfolded itself beneath them.

'You've probably wondered why you're here, Gwen. Well, I thought, since we're friends - and all, I owe you to know a little more about me. It's full moon tonight. You know I'm a werewolf, but you have never seen me change into one. Professor Snape came by a week ago with a new supply of Wolfsbane Potion. I drink it regularly, so it won't be dangerous for you to stay here. But when night falls I will shut myself in my bedroom to curl up as an ordinary wolf to sleep it off. I'll ask you to lock the door for me. I'll conjure up a bed for you in the living-room.'

Gwen paused; Remus had spoken with a steady voice, very matter-of-factly. She would have liked to see his face, his expression, but he kept it hidden from her.

'What would happen if someone was to enter the room after you've transformed into a werewolf?' Gwen asked tentatively.

Lupin shifted slightly.

'The wolfsbane Potion makes sure I turn into a harmless wolf. But a wolf is not like a tame dog; I expect it might not like the presence of a human in the room.' He shot a quick, searching glance at her. 'I admonish you to keep out of the room Gwen, I'd never forgive myself if you were hurt.' He shuddered, and there was an anxious note in his voice. 'There's a small window in the door; you may watch my transformation from there. Just to get the idea of what this is all about, okay?' He paused, then said hoarsely; 'And to be frank, I'd appreciate some company in the house; the waiting is not so bad then.'

Remus refused to look at her, but Gwen could see his ears reddening.

'I'll stay,' she answered softly. She wanted so much to touch his hand, and was almost about to when he rose from the bench.

'Well, that's settled then,' he said lightly, walking slowly and wearily back up the garden path to the cottage with Gwen trailing behind him.

'Cup of tea?'

Gwen nodded and watched as Lupin tapped the kettle smartly with his wand, making steam issue from the spout and extracting a couple of teabags from a dusty tin off the shelf (Lupin didn't seem to care much for tea-leaves). Gwen smiled to herself. She had been around Remus long enough to know exactly how much sugar (a considerable amount) and milk (a squirt or two) he preferred in his tea. But at the moment Remus hardly drank any of it, he contented himself with watching her have her tea, absentmindedly swirling his wand between his fingers. He wasn't very talkative, there was none of the usual cheerfulness. Gwen thought he really had a sickly look about him now, his skin-colouring a greying tone, dark shadows under his eyes, a thin sheet of sweat appearing on his forehead.

'You don't look too well.'

Remus started at the sound of Gwen's voice, shivering a little. Clearing his throat, he answered hoarsely,

'I guess it's time...'

With a heavy sigh he rose from his chair, grabbing the end of the table so as not to lose his balance and beckoned her to follow him upstairs.

Just like Gwen had anticipated it contained a study and at the end of it, a door leading to Lupin's bedroom. He looked sadly at her, his eyes like deep still pools of water, then forced a small smile.

'See you in the morning then, Gwen.'

As he turned to enter his room, Gwen walked quietly over to him and finally did what she had wanted to do all evening: She reached for his hand and squeezed it very gently in hers.

'Yes, see you then Remus,' she whispered. She could feel a feverish shiver running through his body as she let him go.

Gwen turned the key in the lock and sank down on the floor with her back to the door, unable to move. As time passed, the shadows grew longer and darkness descended in the house. Gwen didn't have the energy to get up and light a candle. She didn't know for how long she had stayed in that position when a low moan escaped through the thick door. She made to get up quickly, but almost fell over, her legs unable to support her. Groaning, she straightened herself and looked through the little window in the door. A narrow beam of silvery light shot across the floor, illuminating the dark shape of Remus moving at his bedside. A hoarse growl emitted from his throat, his back stretched horribly in an arch as if someone invisible was forcing his spine backwards. Now howling with pain, Lupin turned and thrashed, and Gwen got a glimpse of his face. It was twisted and contorted as it quickly changed. His body followed suit, and suddenly Gwen found herself looking at a large, grey animal, yellow eyes glowing brightly in the darkness, eerily reflecting the moonlight.

Gwen cried silently, her knees again failing her, but by sheer force of will she kept herself standing. She felt pain like she had never felt before; it was like a blunt knife slowly trying to tear her heart out. Seeing Remus like this, watching him in his agony, listening to his screams of pain and anguish made her feel sick to the bone and utterly powerless. Her eyes burning, Gwen shut them momentarily. When she opened them again she saw the wolf had not moved. It was standing silently by the bed, its ears moving warily in every direction, taking in the sounds of the night. Then it slowly turned its massive head, looking straight into her eyes, staring unblinkingly at her for what felt like an eternity before it finally turned, walked over to the bed and lay down, eyes half closed.

Mechanically, as in a stupor, Gwen raised her hand and let it trail the rough outline of the wooden door till she could feel cold metal between her fingers, the key still in the lock. Her thoughts were confused and muddled. She felt herself magically drawn to the wolf on the other side of the door, not able to take her eyes off the magnificent animal. That wolf was inextricably bound to the man she loved. In a strange and terrible way it was part of him. She longed to be with Lupin, to be close to him, to show her love. And Lupin the wolf was the only thing she had right now. The strongest of feelings overwhelmed her; the feeling that she could not live without him. Gwen stared transfixedly at the shape of the motionless wolf.

The key turned without a sound, and Gwen reached for the door handle, her hand shaking slightly. The door creaked as it slowly swung open. Gwen stood in the middle of the doorway, silhouetted in the strong moonlight. The wolf lay in shadows; she could only see its outline; the sharp-pointed, watchful ears and its bright yellow eyes. It didn't move, but she could tell it was aware of her presence, silently awaiting her next move. She took one cautious step inside the room and slowly closed the door behind her. The wolf lifted its great head, stiffening as it pinned her with its unwavering stare. A low, barely audible rumble in its throat made her shiver and drop her gaze. Desperation pouring over her like a great wave, Gwen opened her mouth and started speaking. Slowly and painstakingly, she poured out every thought, every emotion, speaking barely over a whisper. She shared all her heartaches with the wolf, her feelings for Lupin, describing her happiness whenever she was able to be close to him, remembering all the little moments of pleasure, describing every one of his traits and habits that she loved and cherished so much, declaring how she could not possibly live without him, begging the wolf; anyone; to listen, to understand.

Oblivious of her surroundings, and her sorrow and pain being so deep, she hadn't realised she had been steadily moving closer to the wolf, and suddenly found herself standing by the bedside. Gwen wondered vaguely why the wolf hadn't growled or attacked, but she was beyond caring if it did. She raised her head and looked into its eyes. They glowed unblinkingly back at her, the big wolf's head eerily calm and expressionless. She let herself sink slowly onto the bed, numb with tiredness. If only she could rest her head a little. If only she could close her eyes and sleep without dreams. Then, through tear-stained eyes, she saw the great wolf slowly get to its feet, advancing on her. She shut her eyes, not having any energy left to feel fear. There was only room for one thought in her mind: A happy memory of Remus, his face turned towards her, grinning broadly, a little mischievous perhaps, gazing at her with those friendly, caring eyes, reaching for her hand, touching it tenderly.

The wolf lowered its grey head, its powerful jaws resting momentarily across Gwen's chest. Then it sighed, gave her one last inscrutable stare and turned its back on her, curling up beside her. With a feeling of wonder, Gwen warily reached out and touched the wolf. She stroked the thick and lustrous coat tentatively, letting her hand move lightly over the animal's strong neck and back, feeling hard muscles spilling underneath the skin. She heard herself whisper earnestly,

'I love you.'

Exhausted, her arm resting on the wolf's shoulders, Gwen finally fell asleep.