What Magic Can Do

What Magic Can Do

Chapter Four

When she woke up some time later, it was still dark, but the patch of moonlight now lay across an entirely different part of the room. She lay still, listening to the soft and steady breathing of someone sleeping at her side, feeling the heat of a body nestled close to hers. With a jolt she remembered the wolf. She warily turned her head, not knowing if the intimidating sight of a large, powerful wolf curled up beside her in bed would scare her. It took a few seconds for Gwen's brain to work out what her eyes were seeing. Stretched out in bed, with his face turned slightly towards her, was the outline of a man, soundly asleep. Gwen could see his chest moving, his peaceful and relaxed face framed by locks of light brown and grey hair that fell softly down his forehead.

Slowly and tremblingly Gwen reached out and touched his hand. It felt warm and strong. Her heart lifted, making her pain go away, giving her peace of mind. She gazed happily into his face, feeling his breath, not letting go of his hand. Enchanted, she watched him as the darkness slowly started to evade, turning to grey. As the light increased, a single bird began its shrill morning song somewhere in the distant fields, and soon several of its friends merrily joined in. Then at last the first rays of sunlight shot across the hilltops, bathing the room in soft golden light. Gwen finally and carefully let go of Lupin's hand and silently got out of bed. She paused once, just to savour the sight of her favourite wizard one more time before leaving the room.

The sun was high in the sky when Lupin finally descended the stairs. He sat down a bit hesitantly at the kitchen table. She shot a quick glance at him. He looked better than she had seen him in a long time, like he had just enjoyed a long-needed rest; there was even a faint trace of colour in his cheeks, but he did not seem to be aware of it. He was looking anxiously at her, forcing a pained smile.

'Well?'

His voice shook slightly, and she noticed that his hands were gripping the edge of the table a bit harder than necessary. Gwen sent him a warm encouraging smile.

'Well what?' She threw the question back at him.

Lupin shifted uneasily.

'What do you think now that you have seen me change? Watching someone transform into a werewolf is not something you do every day, is it? I'd be worried, had it been me.'

A small smile, not forced this time, played across the corners of his mouth.

"Well, I am the courageous one, remember?' Gwen smiled teasingly back.

Then the smile faded, and her eyes grew serious.

'To tell you the truth Remus, I was terrified.'

She shuddered, the feeling of pain and horror was still fresh in her memory. Lupin's eyes grew dark, despair hidden at the bottom of those blue pools of water. She leant forward, looking into the face she loved so much.

'But it was not seeing you as a wolf that scared me. What made me terrified was your pain. My not being able to stop it, to intervene, to lessen your pain; to be there and comfort you. That feeling of helplessness nearly killed me.'

Remus looked at her, those beautiful eyes infinitely sad.

'Sometimes I wonder what my life could have been.' There was a definite tone of bitterness in his voice. 'What you just said, confirms my little theory.' His laugh was hollow. 'Who would ever want to live with a werewolf, having to endure and relive that sort of pain for the rest of their lives?'

Gwen opened her mouth to protest, but then hesitated. She had witnessed something last night that she could not explain. As to what she had been told, a werewolf would not change back to its human form till daybreak. And she had woken up to see Lupin lying in bed not any longer as a grey, hairy wolf, but as a perfectly shaped, handsome man, with the moonlight still illuminating the room. She had been filled with peace and hope when she lay there, looking at him, touching him. But she could not tell him, not just yet. What if nothing extraordinarily had happened? She didn't want to raise his hopes up, or hers for that matter.

She took a deep breath, finally looking straight at him. She felt herself reddening, then saying softly and with all her heart,

'I'd do it any day.'

As to underline what she had just said, she reached forward to touch his hand, but he withdrew it hastily, a tortured look on his face.

'You don't understand. I just can't - you can't - I'm sorry.'

Gwen suddenly understood. He had invited her over to make her see they could not be together; to tell her she should stop loving him. The realization hurt her deeply, but the pain of seeing him so sad and desperate felt worse.

'I - I'm very sorry too; sorry you feel this way Remus.' Gwen felt tears burning under her eyelids and turned away from him, pretending to look out of the window at the garden. 'Well, I guess I should be - going.'

Gwen's lips trembled, and she bit them painfully in a desperate attempt to control her emotions. She hesitated. She needed to ask Remus one last question. She needed to find out if anything extraordinary had happened last night. She had to see Remus again tonight.

'May I - will it be alright with you if I came back tonight, to keep you company? Just as a friend, of course,' she hurriedly added.

She could see his face working; it was obvious he thought he should say no, but the feeling of loneliness was so strong, and the thought of having company again tonight made him nod weakly.

That was the worst thing she'd ever done; leaving Remus in his state of mind. But she couldn't force herself on him, he'd have to willingly accept her love. If he could ever allow himself to... When she later that evening stepped out of the fireplace of the Graystone cottage for the second time, the sun had already set. There was no one in the living room, but listening closely she could hear someone moving upstairs. She decided to wait till it was almost dark, then she ventured cautiously up the narrow staircase, a candle in her hand. She walked over to Lupin's desk, too worried to sit down, dreading what she might be about to hear: A low moan, followed by shouts of pain and angry howling, then silence, followed by the muffled sound of claws on the wooden floor...

The clouds parted and silvery moonlight flooded through the window, throwing her black shadow sharply across the desk and illuminating the study. She winced, straining her ears for sounds coming from the other room. She listened, holding her breath. But there were no sounds of moaning. There were no sounds at all. Her heart started beating furiously, and she moved slowly across the room towards the door at the other end when it suddenly sprang open. In the doorway stood the outline of a man. Gwen stopped in her stride, frozen to the spot, her mouth open, a strange tingling in her stomach. Then came Remus's hoarse voice from the doorway, choking,

'Gwen - what...?'

He started moving unsteadily towards her, his body trembling violently, his face in a state of shock and disbelief. She had to fight herself to refrain from running forwards to throw herself at him. He stopped right in front of her, steadying himself by laying his hands on her shoulders. The familiar tingling sensation she felt whenever he touched her spread through her body like fire, and she felt suddenly faint, dropping her gaze.

'Gwen. Look at me.' His voice broke.

Trembling, she returned his gaze. His face looked gaunt, but his eyes were extraordinarily alive, glittering in the moonlight. They slowly filled with tears. He buried his face in her hair, sobbing quietly, his grip around her shoulders tightening. She just stood there silently, supporting him. Then she could feel Lupin straightening up, letting go of her shoulders and instead reaching for her hands, holding them in a tender grip like only he could. He looked gravely into her face.

'I need you to tell me what happened last night.'

Gwen, looking slightly scared, slowly started to recount everything. Lupin frowned when she came to the part where she unlocked the door and went inside, but didn't say anything and let her finish her story. He was silent for a long time afterwards, just looking at her with those amazingly warm eyes. Then he finally spoke in a quiet, husky voice,

'I never thought I would ever allow myself to say these words to anyone.' His gaze intensified. 'I love you.'

It was Gwen's turn to have her eyes filling up with tears. Remus watched her silently, his eyes soft and warm and full of emotion. She could feel his gaze moving slowly across her face, finally resting on her lips. He moved closer to her, tenderly lifting her chin so her face came level with his. He paused, then kissed her tentatively, his soft lips barely touching hers. Embracing her, he held her so close she could feel his heartbeats. A passion she had never felt before, rose inside her. Hungrily, their lips met for the second time. Catching her breath, Gwen whispered softly in his ear,

'I love you back.'

Lupin, gently releasing himself from her, grinned at her wonderingly.

'I've had a hard time believing that. It was too good to be true. I've been telling myself no one could or would ever love me like that. But I should have guessed.' His voice trembled with suppressed emotion. 'Only the strongest of magic could have healed me last night. No wands or potions could ever do that: I would know, I've tried it all.' He shook his head disbelievingly. 'I don't see how, but it must have been your love, your burning desire to be with me, even when I was in the shape of a wolf, that somehow broke my thirty years of chains. Your heart was so full of love there wasn't even room for a single thought of fear, was there... What a fool I am, you really must love me.' He kissed her again, then his face suddenly split into a wide grin. 'Dumbledore will be most interested in hearing this story... It wouldn't surprise me if he's even able to come up with an explanation!'

They spent the rest of the moonlit night snuggling close together, their arms tightly wrapped around each other, not wanting to let go, not even in their sleep. To slowly wake up to the realization of being loved by the most handsome wizard she had ever laid her eyes on made Gwen shiver with happiness. When she opened her eyes, she discovered Lupin was already awake. He was leaning forwards on his elbows, watching her avidly with such a passionate look in his eyes she couldn't help but shiver expectantly. And she was not disappointed. That morning Remus John Lupin asked her to marry him, and she said yes.

'I see,' said Lupin thoughtfully.' Well, well.... I'm impressed.

He smiled slightly at the look of surprise on Harry's face.

'That suggests that what you fear most of all is - fear. Very wise, Harry.'

(PoA p. 117 Bloomsbury)

Gwen and Remus married soon afterwards and lived happily ever after in their tiny stone cottage deep inside the Yorkshire Dales. Lupin had to magically add a couple of rooms to get more space, as they finally ended up with four children, two girls and two boys, all of whom at the age of eleven, to their mother's great pride, received an acceptance letter to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The Graystone cottage garden bloomed and thrived at the hands of Lupin and his wife, wizard friends and witches travelling far and wide to admire its beauty. Oh, and yes; Gwen finally got her dogs too, and she even kept a few hens in the back yard; not that it was of much use; the garden gnomes were constantly stealing all the eggs they could find.

I'll be the rock you can build on - be there when you're old

To have and to hold

I'll be the wall that protects you - from the wind and the rain

From the hurt and the pain

-

We got everything - and more - than we had planned

More than the rivers that run the land

We've got it all in our hands

(from Bryan Adams's 'All For Love')

The End