What Magic Can Do

What Magic Can Do

Chapter Two

Several months had gone by, Christmas, which she had spent with her Muggle family, had long since past, and winter was slowly losing its grip. At Hogwarts Gwen suspected the snow might still be covering the school grounds, but at the Burrow in East Devon, and even in the parks of London, the daffodils and the pretty bluebells had already fought their way out of the soggy earth. The Weasleys had invited her to stay at their place over Easter, and Gwen had gratefully accepted. She didn't fancy the idea of spending the holiday alone in her tiny London apartment anyway. None of the Weasley children were going to stay at the Burrow; they were busy elsewhere. Bill was back in Egypt, Charlie on a field trip studying dragons in China, Percy wanted to catch up with some really important work as an assistant to the Head of the International Magical Trading Standards Body, Fred and George's business was still blooming and they were going to treat themselves to a safari in Keny a, and Ron and Hermione together with Ginny and Harry were going to see Hagrid at Hogwarts and maybe even apparate for a day or so to visit Dumbledore at his home in Kent.

Gwen had no idea whether Lupin would be back in England for Easter or not. She had received a postcard by owl a week ago picturing large fields of bright yellow and red tulips swaying gently in a light breeze, so she assumed he must still be in Holland on Ministry business. She felt a stab in her heart as she realised she might have to spend Easter without him. And the Burrow without Remus would not be the same. Not that she didn't enjoy the company of Arthur and Molly. But with Remus it was different. She couldn't exactly pinpoint it, but her heart seemed to skip a beat or two every time she thought of him. She forced herself to shake the miserable feeling away and went over to the row of fireplaces in the main hall of the Ministry were wizards and witches were already queuing up to go home.

Imagine Gwen's surprise when she, a few moments later, coughing and spitting, stumbled out of the kitchen fireplace at the Weasleys and looked straight into the smiling face of Remus Lupin.

'Welcome to the Burrow.'

He grinned broadly at her, his blue eyes twinkling. Gwen felt her face redden slightly, and she almost lost her balance; she couldn't understand why she still went all shaky every time she looked into his kind face.

'Careful there,' said Remus cheerfully, walking swiftly towards her and grabbing her tenderly by the arm. When he let go, Gwen could still feel the warmth of his hand, spreading to the rest of her body.

'Remus! You're not supposed to be here!' said Gwen confusedly, trying to catch her breath.

'So, you want me to leave?' He winked mischievously at her.

'No - no! I - I just didn't expect you'd be back so soon.'

Gwen hated herself for feeling so awkward and was relieved when the Weasleys entered the kitchen.

Gwen was sorry the Easter holiday seemed to slip through her fingers. Lupin and the Weasleys spent the days teaching her the games of Gobstones and Wizard's Chess as well as showing her how to look for gnomes in the garden. As the latter doesn't come easily to Muggles, Gwen had to work hard to be able to spot any. They also took her on short flights on the brooms, securely strapped to the flyer, and walked the many wooden paths in the vicinity, even taking her to visit other wizarding families like the Diggorys and the Lovegoods. As a treat Gwen had even tried to teach the others the Muggle game of Soccer. She got a great pleasure out of watching a delighted Arthur and an amused Remus romping around in the paddock trying to get the football moving in the direction of the goalposts, frequently forgetting to use their legs and making the ball fly through the air with clever little wand movements.

Among the highlights though, was Lupin showing her some of his 'useful little spells', as he frequently called them. The ghoul in the attic was one of the unfortunate recipients after it had taken to banging the pipes whenever Gwen tried to sleep (she was borrowing Ron's room).

'Cover your eyes,' he told Gwen over his shoulder. He raised his wand to shoulder height, said 'Helios epifero!' and pointed the wand at the attic door. Instantly blindingly white rays of light zoomed from Lupin's wand through the keyhole and made the inside of the attic bright as a summer's day. Gwen could distinctly hear the ghoul cursing.

'It prefers the darkness and won't feel like making a racket till the light wears off some time in the morning,' Lupin explained.

'Amazing!' said Gwen.

'Thank you, Gwen,' said Lupin, putting his wand away and smiling warmly at her. 'Have a good night's sleep.'

The last evening of her stay Molly conjured a magnificent dinner, treating everyone to her very best courses. After the meal Gwen didn't think she would be able to get up from the table; she felt like a stuffed goose. When Molly briskly told the others to get ready for the usual evening stroll, Gwen groaned. She looked over at Remus, who returned her gaze and grinned sheepishly at her.

But they all filed out obediently, Molly and Arthur arm in arm, Gwen and Remus bringing up the rear. The evening was pleasantly fresh, everything around them vivid spring green. A light breeze ruffled Lupin's patched cloak, making it billow around him as he walked, now and then exposing the outline of his body. Gwen watched him out of the corner of her eye. She hadn't really looked at it that way before, but Remus was kind of attractive. Slender, but well built, not short but not overly tall either, those gentle but strong hands swinging pleasantly at his side, soft locks of hair framing his kind face set with warm blue eyes and a straight nose, though not handsome the way Sirius Black had been; Gwen had seen photos. Lupin's face was marked by tired lines, his pale skin would've done well with a little more colour. But something about Lupin made him good-looking. Gwen couldn't decide whether it was his personality that made his physical features so agreeable to her or if i t was something else. She looked quickly away, furious with herself for blushing again. Remus seemed to have sensed something, because he turned his head looking inscrutably at her with those handsome blue eyes for a second before turning away and continuing their light conversation.

After walking for half an hour, Molly and Arthur doubled back, claiming to be tired already because of their old age and wanting to cut the walk short. Gwen and Remus laughed, but followed the old folks advice of walking on a little further. They soon reached the top of the hill, the very same place they had been sitting watching the sunset at their first walk together several months ago. There was an awkward silence were none of them spoke or looked at the other, then Lupin beckoned Gwen to sit down. They talked a little more, then seemed to be lost for more subjects. Gwen couldn't help herself: She shot a glance at Remus, her eyes slowly tracing the outline of his loveable face, and her stomach gave a jolt as he turned his head and steadily returned her gaze. She couldn't stand it and looked away, staring down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Remus looked away again, busy studying the old carpet of last year's leaves covering the ground.

Gwen didn't know how or why, but she had opened her mouth, and it felt like the words came from somewhere outside of her head.

'R-remus, er - I think you're...' Gwen started to say.

'...The kindest man you've ever met?' retorted Remus, sighing heavily and not looking at her. 'Yeah - I know. I've heard that a couple of times.' There was a slight tone of bitterness in his voice.

'Well, yes, that too, but that was not what I had in mind.' Gwen's voice was shaking slightly as she added, 'I - I was going to say I think you're, well, a very - handsome man.'

She could feel the heat rise in her face and shot a quick glance at Remus before looking down again at her now trembling hands. Lupin seemed not to have taken in what she had just said. Then he slowly, unbelievingly, raised his head and looked at her. His eyes were widening, looking hard at her, searching her face for clues as if he needed proof of the words that had just seemed to reach his ears, as if he was sure she was pulling his leg. She willed herself to return his look, her cheeks on fire, her eyes watering, a burning sensation in her stomach.

Mercifully they were interrupted by the mournful wail of an augurey, hidden somewhere in the treetops. Remus looked gratefully in the direction of the sound, listening. He then turned his head towards the sky.

'Sure enough, there might be some showers tonight.' Remus smiled, shaking off the puzzled look on his face. 'We'd better get back.'

The following weeks Gwen's insides were in turmoil. She had finally realised she was in love with Remus, it was no use trying to deny it. One second she was sure she had seen signs of Remus liking her more than just being a friend; there had been moments at the Burrow where their eyes had met and he had looked at her with an extraordinarily warm, soft look in his eyes, but the next second she reminded herself Remus had been trying to avoid her ever since Easter. Not that he didn't stop by at the department to say hello, being his usual friendly self, but he didn't seem too keen on spending time with her that much anymore. Maybe he didn't like her like that. Being a wizard, maybe he couldn't, or wouldn't, love a simple Muggle . . .

June was approaching, and Gwen buried herself in her work. One afternoon she was called upon by Molly to come visit her at the Burrow. Mr. Weasley was tied up the whole evening attending meetings, and Molly, not having any underage children to shout at anymore, felt like having some company. They spent the warm evening out in the cosy garden, chatting lightly, Gwen now and then making a sudden grab for gnomes cackling madly inside the shrubs behind her back, catching one or two and swinging them over her head and sending the unfortunate gnomes spinning over the hedge and into the nearby field.

Molly looked approvingly at Gwen's de-gnoming technique, saying it had improved greatly over the last couple of months. Gwen smiled teasingly back at her.

'I'm glad I can be of some use in the magical world even though I'm just a common Muggle.'

Molly frowned at Gwen, threatening to throw an empty watermug at her.

'Don't joke about that, it's not funny!'

Gwen went quiet.

'What if it's not a joke Molly? What if there are insurmountable barriers between the Muggle and the wizard world. What if I don't belong here?' Gwen asked painfully.

Molly looked appalled.

'You know how Arthur and I feel about this Gwen, we don't believe Muggles are less worthy than wizards just because they lack the, er - our magic abilities.'

'Yes, I know what you and Arthur think,' Gwen replied dully, 'but is there really a future for me around your lot? I mean, I'm not like you.'

She paused, wondering whether she had the nerve to say what was bothering her.

'What do you mean, not like us,' retorted Molly with a frown, her eyes narrowing, making her look slightly forbidding.

Gwen took a deep breath, then said slowly, 'I do not properly belong, do I? I mean - well, for instance... - I'll end up old and lonely like Mrs Figgs, no wizards would ever lay their eyes on me, would they?' she blurted out, the last words coming fast.

'Arabella has been married,' Molly replied.

'Yes, but to a Muggle, which only serves to prove my point,' Gwen answered haughtily.

Molly shot an odd glance at Gwen, leaning back in her chair.

'Well, Gwen, if you'd just taken a look around, you'd see that wizards and witches marry Muggles all the time. Love is oblivious of any boundaries.'

Gwen wanted to shout out loud, 'Then why won't Lupin love me back then?' but she resisted the urge. Instead she sighed audibly.

'Gwen,' Molly spoke a little awkwardly, searching for words, 'is there any specific reason why you're bringing up this subject? Er, I don't want to pry or anything, but I must admit I've sensed you've taken a liking to a certain young but somewhat tired-looking wizard?'

Gwen looked quickly at Molly, her face reddening.

'I won't ask you to spill out your feelings in front of me.' Molly smiled, closely watching Gwen's face. 'But let me tell you something. I happen to know this because Sirius revealed it to me. Remus Lupin is, as you know, a werewolf. This has haunted him his whole life, keeping him on the outside of most social circles, making people unwilling to work with him or even be around him. That's why he is so very reluctant to accept Arthur's offer of a full time job at the Ministry.'

Molly paused, looking apprehensively at Gwen.

'Remus is so used to everybody shunning him he has stopped believing or hoping anyone would ever accept and love him for what he is, well, except for his old friends in the Order, that is. Like all men, Remus has also had his fair share of crushes. But sadly his feelings were never returned. The stunningly handsome Sirius, or the ever-popular James got all the attention of the girls; no one seemed to care for the more quiet, pale-looking but gentle and intelligent boy named Remus.'

Molly's eyes went all misty, and she wiped them quickly on her apron. Gwen's heart burst with emotion. Remus, the one man in the world with love enough to fill the oceans, had never been allowed to share some of that love with a woman . . .

Molly continued,

'There is one more reason Remus has contented himself with staying single for the rest of his life: He is so scared, if he ever came to love and marry a woman, of the risk of him hurting her, or even worse, killing her at full moon. Of course, now that the Wolfsbane Potion is invented, Remus is able to control the werewolf in him quite well, but so far there's no cure, so there's always the small risk of someone crossing his path when they shouldn't - if you get my meaning.'

Gwen looked stubbornly at her. She didn't care whether it was risky marrying Remus or not; she was willing to do anything for him, she was willing to take the risk just for the chance of being close to him, feeling his hands tenderly touching hers, drinking in those warm eyes gazing steadily at her . . . She closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, Molly was on her feet.

'Better get you back to London; you have work to do tomorrow, haven't you.'

She threw a worried look in Gwen's direction. Gwen opened her mouth defiantly.

'It's just that I really love him Molly,' she said quietly, returning the older woman's gaze with a sad smile. 'If only he'd return my feelings.'

Molly snorted, her eyes widening in mock disbelief.

'You silly girl, don't you see? It's obvious even to the untrained eye that Remus has something going for you. He has never missed an opportunity to be close to you. I've watched him going all quiet, searching for your eyes, wanting to share your smile, watching you longingly when he thinks no one notices . . . Why, if there's something I know about, it's romance! Did I tell you I used to whip up this Love Potion when I was a young girl?'

Molly laughed, almost giggling, winking teasingly at Gwen. Gwen grinned back, blushing.

'My guess,' Molly continued, 'is that Remus tries so desperately to control his feelings because he's mortally afraid of falling in love with you. He fears another rejection coming his way, and more heartache. And he can't bear the thought of putting you at risk living under the same roof as a werewolf. And being a Muggle you are even more vulnerable, not having any magical powers to defend yourself with should the worst come to pass.'

Gwen got back late that evening tired and emotionally drained, but she couldn't sleep. She somehow had to find a way of telling Remus she loved him with all of her wretched Muggle heart and didn't care he was a werewolf; she wanted him. She wanted all of him. She wanted the slender man in his late thirties, his once light brown hair now specked with grey; she wanted his tired-looking face with those loving eyes and the kind mouth so often split into a friendly grin; she wanted the sound of his hoarse voice; she wanted his warm and tender hands, leaving goosebumps all over her skin whenever they touched her; she wanted his laugh and that mischievous glint in the eye; she wanted his jokes and his dry and subtle humour; she wanted his braveness, his relentless dedication and faithfulness to his friends, his fairness when dealing with his enemies; she even wanted his tattered old clothes, to be able to bury her face in them, inhaling the familiar and comforting smell of Remus John Lupin.

Oughta be workin' - but I can't concentrate

Oughta be sleepin' - steada stayin' up late

There's only one thing that I wanna do

And that's think about you

(From Bryan Adams's 'I Think About You')